The Soarindash chronicles

by MLPdior

The show

Rainbow dash got off the train she was amazed at the view of canterlot its was simply awesome well divine if you want to talk like the high society snobs in canterlot.

."wow this looks great it has everything balloons,streamers, and food" pinkie shouted that cut rainbows train of thought.

"What was that for pinkie, you shouted in my ear, think of some ponys ear please" rainbow said in a annoyed tone

"sorry for that dashie" pinkie apologized.

" nah it's cool, next time just talk a little more quietly" said rainbow.

"OKIE DOKIE LOCKEI" pinkie said as she jumped towards the head of the group.

"Girl enough chit chat'n we are going to be late for the show and I know rainbow dash wouldn't want to miss the wonderbolts perform" said apple jack in a serious tone. All the ponies nodded their heads in agreement to what apple jack had just said.

LATER ONN~~~~~~

After walking for about an hour the girls made it to the wonderbolts arena.

"We found our seats" said RD.

"we did, yay" said fluttershy.

"We better sit down before the show starts darlings" said rarity.

"Kay" said the group in unison.

Now the whole group was silent and rainbow dash had time before the wonderbolts come to appreciate the beautiful arena. She thought it was epic, awesome, and cool just like her. It was just like a dream to be in a place she was born to be in. It felt like she was on top of the world.

BACK STAGE(Wonderbolts)

"Come on the crowd is waiting for us" said spitfire.

" you go before us and then we will come" soarin and fleet foot said in unison.

" okay, I'm going to go now" said spitfire.

BACK IN THE ARENA...

Spitfire stepped out and and spoke in the microphone and said "hello every pony and welcome to the canterlot wonderbolts arena, today we will choose a random ponys name form a hat and the pony who is chosen will do one of their signature moves for us near the end of the show", she took a water break and said " introducing soarin and fleet foot my two fellow flyers and now will start the show".

"Wow rainbow thought soarin was handsome, What am I saying thought rainbow dash you don't think anyone's handsome now snap out of it". I'm not rarity or twilight. Im rainbow dash and I'm not into all that mushy stuff, well still he's kinda cute. Rainbow thought to her self.

THE PERFORMANCE....

First spitfire flew up to the sky and then rapidly descended and while she was doing that soarin and fleet foot were flying in zig zags around her rainbow dash thought that was the best part of the whole performance it was just magnificent. The last part was when they flew in a line and gray clouds were their streaks it was a nice closing performance.

THE CHOSEN PERFORMANCE...

Soarin now went up to the mic and said" I will pick a random name and that pony will come up here and do their move", then soarin closed his eyes and said " the chosen pony is Rainbow Dash".
"Oh my god rainbow you got picked"said twilight

"wow, I feel so happy for you" said fluttershy.

"you have dream to accomplish" said pinkie,AJ,and rarity in unison.

"Hello Equstria to rainbow dash" said the group of friends.

Then soarin spoke again "rainbow Dash please come up here".

With that said rainbow dash got up and went up to the wonderbolts. This is what she has been waiting for her entire life. She can't fail her stunt or she will be a laughing stock, or even worse she might be called rainbow crash and heck na she didnt want to be called rainbow crash. Well she snapped out of her thinking when she got close to the wonderbolts.

first soarin spoke "want to tell the crowd what we are going to do".

rainbow replied "sure".

Rainbow dash walked up to the mic and said " hello ponies of canterlot, I rainbow dash the element of loyalty will do the sonic rainboom" soarin chuckled at her pride. After that rainbow flew up in intense speed then she reached her limit, after that she flew down rapidly and the a cone shaped hoop formed around her hips and with that she broke the sound barrier and a rainbow streak formed after that she flew across the whole arena leaving a whole rainbow every pony could see.

The wonder bolts jaws dropped and then rainbow landed right in front of them and said "what did you think". The wonder bolts replied "that was AWESOME".

Thanks" said rainbow dash.

Then the sky became dark and then the ground started shaking the ponies all flew off even rainbows friends only soarin and rainbow dash were left helping every pony out. Then there was no pony in the arena and chrysalis came out of nowhere and sent both soarin and rainbow dash to her unknown cave world.

Author's Note:

This is the second chapter. It's longer than the first. I will update in a few days I hope you guys like it.

Comments

[Changeling Legionaire]

this is good and has potential but it needs some work. All the names have to be capitalized, I think Wonderbolts is one word and your kinda rushing along with out being descriptive; You don't need to describe every hair on Dash's coat per-say but don't just leave it as "this is happen and this is happening". describe emotions like the reaction of the crowd to Dash doing the sonic rainboom, give a little idea that Soarin may have the attraction to Dash and other stuff like that. I hope this won't discourage you from continuing, that is the last thing I want. I just want to see you improve is all.

[MLPdior]

6303906
I know I kinda rushed through it and this is my first so I'm like a beginner at this and BTW I'm 7th grade so my writing hasn't fully devloped and thank you for telling me what I need to work on, I appreciate it.
~MLPdior

[Night Flight]

The idea of your story is really great but I think it would be better if you describe the scenes better. Like the last paragraph. You'd better describe it more. For example, describing the way Queen Chrysalis and changelings entered and trapped Soarin and Rainbow.
By the way, they're only some advice to make your story better. I don't say that your story is bad. No. I think it's great and a lot of people should read it. You can improve your story with these advice.
Also...
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[Crystal Bullet]

6304221 Wow! I guess we are in the same age!!!

[Dragon Eye]

Well that escalated quickly

[SuicidalAngel]

6304221 I'm in 7th grade too!! Oh gawd I've been drinking too much coffee...
Anywho..
I agree very much with Bluey Shine, try to add a bit more details to your writing, it keeps the audience on the edge of their seats to see what happens next!