The Guard And His Sword

by Himntor

The Chaos of Moving

It had been a week since that chaotic night at the Gala, and I had finally made my decision. I was going to move to Ponyville. I needed a home, but not in Canterlot. For one thing, it was more expensive than I wanted, and for another, I liked the idea of living in a small town. Canterlot was always going to be where I worked, but I didn’t want it to be where I lived. Ponyville was an easy choice, especially since it was within flying distance.

After my shift ended I had all of my stuff packed up in my sword, shaped into a small box… I really didn’t have that much stuff. But that’s why I was buying a pre-furnished home. It was still less expensive than an empty one in Canterlot. I had already found the perfect one the other day and bought it. It had two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small office space, and a tiny kitchen connected to the dining area and a front living room.

The sun was setting as I made my way to Ponyville, the box shape protruding from my sword making flying a bit awkward, but I made it to my new home within the hour. Walking inside, it was completely pitch black. I began searching for the light switch with my magic, when it turned on by itself and I was knocked back against the wall by sheer vocal force.

“SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!”

“WHAT IN CELESTIA’S NAME!?”

The entire population of Ponyville seemed to be inside! There were streamers, confetti, balloons, games, fruit punch, cake and a bunch of other desserts. It was as if a party-tornado had ripped through here. I could only stare at it in shock, mouth hanging ajar.

One of Twilight’s friends, the pink one, popped out of nowhere. “Hi there! My name’s Pinkie Pie, and I threw this ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ surprise party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you, were you, were you?”

Again I could only stare, eyes and ears twitching.

“Oh, were we too loud? Let me try again.” She cleared her throat. “Surpriiiiise!”

“Pinkie, you broke him!” another of Twilight’s friends said, the blue one.

“It’s not my fault! I thought parties made ponies happy, not break!”

“Well if you weren’t so crazy in putting together these parties right after somepony moves to Ponyville, we wouldn’t have that problem, would we? You invite us to these all the time.”

“Of course I do, how would any of you meet new ponies if I didn’t? We have to be welcoming you know, otherwise new ponies won’t like it here, and then they’ll move away to somewhere like the Everfree Forest and live as a hermit all alone with no friends and they’ll be so sad for the rest of their lives!”

Twilight and the rest of her friends walked into view, except for the yellow one who I didn’t see anywhere. “To be fair, Pinkie, you do throw rather crazy parties,” Twilight said. She looked at me. “You’ll have to forgive Pinkie Pie, she always throws these parties for new ponies in town.” She tilted her head in confusion when I didn’t respond in any sort of way, then she waved a hoof in front of my eyes. “Helloooo, is anypony there?”

“I reckon he’s still in shock,” the orange one said.

“Oh, the poor dear!” the white one said. “Somepony fetch a glass of water for him.”

“Yeah, pour it over his head, maybe that’ll wake him up,” the blue one said.

I gasped and they all jumped back. “NO! Don’t!”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. Are you okay?”

I nodded slowly. “I’m… fine. What—”

Pinkie Pie jumped back in my face. “Hi! Welcome to Ponyville! Come meet my friends, I’m sure you’ll love them!” The next thing I knew I was standing in front of the orange one. “This is Applejack, she lives over in Sweet Apple Acres and loves apples.”

Applejack tipped her hat. “Howdy!”

Next I was in front of the white one. “This is Rarity, she works at the Carousel Boutique and makes amazing dresses!”

Rarity curtsied. “How do you do?”

Next I was in front of the blue one. “This is Rainbow Dash, she—what do you do again, Dashie?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I’m a weather pony, Pinkie. That, and the best flier in all of Equestria!”

I raised an eyebrow. “The best flier in all of Equestria, huh?”

“Thee one and only!” she said, pulling a pose midair.

I magically grabbed my sword and spilled its contents into the corner then teleported it under my hooves in its surfboard shape and levitated myself up to Rainbow Dash’s eye level. “Are you sure?”

Her eyes widened and she gaped. “You can fly on that thing!? Dude, we have to race some time.”

I smiled. “Looking forward to it, I haven’t had any decent competition lately.” None of the Royal Guard pegasi were ever interested in races, which was disappointing. I thought it might have been fun to race some of them.

Next I was in front of Twilight. “This is Twilight Sparkle, she lives in Ponyville’s library and loves magic and books!”

Twilight gave a nod. “Nice to see you again.”

Next I was in front of empty space. “This is—hey! Where’s Fluttershy?”

“Fluttershy couldn’t make it, she had to stay home to tend one of her injured animals,” Rarity said.

“Oh, right. Anyway, we can’t forget little Spike here either!” Pinkie pulled Spike out from the crowd of guests, who rolled his eyes and gave a wave.

“Hey again, Swordulan,” he said.

I gave him a nod. “Hey, Spike. Gotten any donuts lately?”

He crossed his arms and glanced at Twilight. “No, thanks to somepony thinking I need to let up on my eating habits.”

Pinkie continued to introduce me to everypony else, and afterwards I was finally able to introduce myself, since she hardly let me get my own name in. The mention of being an Officer in the Royal Guard brought on a few ‘oohs’—I wasn’t wearing my armor—and Twilight asked me if I knew Shining Armor and how he was doing. Yes, he’s doing just fine. Rainbow Dash seemed excited to test her skills against a Royal Guard for once and also asked how we could keep so still no matter what. Trade secret. Rarity wanted to know about the pony who designed Royal Guard armor. I have no idea. Pinkie Pie wanted to know how many parties I was able to attend per day… Uh... Zero. Always too busy. She seemed intent on changing that, however.

The party seemed to go on and on, talking to everypony, eating dessert, playing some games at their insistence—I wasn’t too opposed to a few games of cards—until finally, sometime around midnight I think, the party ended and everyone left, and Pinkie had some way of cleaning up to make it look like the party never happened in the first place, minus a big 'Welcome to Ponyvil!' banner stretched across the wall.

I made it to my new bed and collapsed, completely exhausted. The next thing I knew, I was waking up sometime long after the sun had come up.

I squinted out one of the windows and muttered. “What time is it? Ugh… Shining Armor is going to kill me, I’m so late.”

I washed the sleep out of my eyes and mouth and fixed up my mane. There were a few carrots in the fridge, which I gladly broke out and began snacking away on as I walked outside, teleporting my sword to me. I hopped on and took to the sky, when a strange pink cloud drifted in front of me and forced me to stop.

I tilted my head. “Um… hello?”

The cloud drifted up over my head and began rumbling.

“Don’t you da—agh! Stop it, go away!”

The blasted thing began raining on me! And not just any rain, chocolate milk! I began flying away from the cloud, but it pursued as fast as I could go. I flew to the ground and jumped off, holding my sword overhead to shield myself. The cloud seemed to stick itself to the sword. I looked at it and gave it a poke. Cotton candy? What in Equestria was going on?

Looking around, I could see Rainbow Dash was having just as much luck with more of these clouds, and—was that a giant rabbit? What was happening!? Why was there popcorn everywhere?

Wiping the cloud off my sword and ignoring whatever chaos that continued to ensue, I ran into the Town Hall and got myself a blank scroll and a quill with some ink and began writing.

“Your Majesty Princess Celestia, there’s something very wrong in Ponyville. Pink clouds, chocolate milk rain, strange critters, popcorn everywhere. Send help? –Officer Shield of the Royal Guard”

I rolled the scroll up and sent it off with a spell and puff of smoke. When I made it back outside, a blinding flash encompassed the entire town, forcing me to shield my eyes. Looking around again, nothing seemed to have changed. We were still swimming in chocolate milk and popcorn.

Twilight and her friends were soon on the scene and trying to clean everything up, which they were making quick work of. They had gathered all the clouds up, having the oddly deformed critters eat away at them. A few moments later they were running off to the train station and getting on the train to Canterlot.

No doubt Princess Celestia had summoned them about this mess, but it only got worse after they left. Buildings began bursting out of the ground and floating into the sky, turning upside down or spinning. It was madness. I was forced to put my sword back over my head to protect myself from more of the pink clouds. Animals were rampaging through town—were those buffalo dancing around in tutus?—and ponies were running around in a panic or succumbing to the madness. Even the Mayor was dancing around now.

Where was all of this coming from? This doesn’t just happen! And why did it have to be the day after I moved here? Why not yesterday, or the day before?

I spotted an unfamiliar dragon-shaped figure skating through the town, though it was no dragon. I remembered seeing pictures of such creatures back in the books I studied at the School for Gifted Unicorns. Draconequus.

I ran after it with my sword raised. “Halt in the name of Princess Celestia!”

The draconequus skidded to a stop and turned around in annoyance. “Oh, what now? Another little pony to try and stop me? Hurry up, I’m missing some excellent chaos here!” He began to skate circles around me.

I frowned and kept my sword pointed on him, though having to keep turning my head to keep my eyes on him was irritating. “Who are you? Are you behind all this chaos?”

“Chaos you say? Whatever would make you think that? Why, this is a work of art! And I am Discord, the Spirit of Chaos. A pleasure it is to meet you.” His paw extended in front of me and stayed there regardless of his position while skating around me. “Would you care for some chocolate milk?” A glass appeared in the paw and a pink cloud filled it to the brim with chocolate milk.

I rolled my eyes and pushed the glass away. “Right, you're the ‘Spirit of Chaos’, and I’m—”

“Swordulan Thunder Shield, more commonly known as just Swordulan, Officer in the Royal Guard, noble-born unicorn of Canterlot, son of Steadfast Shield, son of Captain-General Steel Shield, and so on. Quite boring if you ask me.”

I gaped. “Wha—how did you…?”

Discord chuckled and stopped behind me. “Don’t act so surprised, I know who you are." He teleported in front of me. "I know everypony around here, and I know that there’s nothing I can say that will make you let me go, so go on, arrest me.” He held the back of his paw to his forehead and wailed. “I deserve it!”

I scowled. “I’m taking you to Princess Celestia.”

I shaped my sword into a police box and motioned for him to get inside. If he wasn’t going to put up a fight, who was I to argue?

He held up his claw and paw. “You got me! I’ll surrender with honor.” He bowed and walked backwards into the box. “You should know though, I have a bad case of claustrophobia, so this is incredibly cruel and unusual punishment!”

Before taking the last step inside, he poured his glass of chocolate milk over my head, drenching me completely. How the buck does one fit so much chocolate milk inside such a tiny glass? “Nice… thanks for that.”

I shook off the milk and slammed the box’s door shut. No way he was going to escape. I levitated it into the air and began making my way to the train station… which apparently was still floating in the sky. That was no good.

“Ohh, fascinating,” Discord said, his voice muffled. “Tell me more. No, do go on, I’ve never had the pleasure of speaking to one of your kind before. Mhm. Yes. Really? No kidding, I would’ve never guessed. Did you know they can last for thousands of years? Yes, it’s true! What was that? Ahaha, that’s wonderful! Oh, Swordulan, why haven’t you told me about this lovely fellow? He's absolutely brilliant!”

I raised an eyebrow at the police box. What in Equestria was he talking about? I put the box on the ground and opened the door, but it was completely empty inside. What the bu—

Discord popped out of nowhere. “SURPRISE!”

I jumped and fell backwards into a sitting position, and Discord burst out laughing like a maniac.

Discord pointed a claw at me. “Ohohoh, the look on your face! Sheer terror!”

I growled. “I’ve had enough of this.”

“Aw, but it was just getting fun.” Discord teleported above my head in a puff of smoke, hanging in a lounging position. “Don’t you like to have fun?”

“Not like this.” I changed the police box into a giant claw and snatched Discord with it. “We’re going to Canterlot. I’m sure the Princess would like to speak with you.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Celestia will see me soon enough.” He teleported out of the grip and into my face, his red eyes staring coldly into mine. “Listen to me, Officer Shield. Equestria is now mine to rule in eternal chaos, along with you.”

This guy was an absolute lunatic. I could only laugh. “You’ve got to be joking.”

He only reeled backwards and laughed himself. “Joking! It’s what I do!” He violently exploded into a bunch of confetti and reappeared above me. “Now try and listen again, my little pony. There is nothing you can do to stop me. Your sword can't save you, your magic won’t help you. Equestria is mine, and all you’ve ever known will be thrown into chaos. This is just the beginning. Just wait until you see what I have planned! Ponyville will become the new chaos capital of the world!”

I changed my sword back to normal and aimed it at him. “You’ll have to get through me, first.”

“Oh please,” Discord sighed. “There’s no need to get violent. I hate violence, you know. No? Fine, if you’re so determined, I’ll leave, but you’ll suffer the consequences!”

He then disappeared into a cloud of smoke, leaving no trace. The buildings came back to the ground and all the madness stopped. Was it really that easy? Was he just trying to get a few kicks out of this before it might turn violent? Well, I wouldn’t complain. I shaped my sword into a surfboard and—

“Swordulan Thunder Shield!” an all-too-familiar voice shouted, nearly making me jump out of my hide.

Turning around I was greeted with my father, Steadfast, breaking through the fog and trotting up to me. Wait, where did the fog come from?

I stared wide-eyed at my father. “Dad, what are you doing here?”

He scowled with a fire burning in his eyes. “What am I doing here? What are you doing here!?”

I took a step back and grimaced. “I don’t understand, shouldn’t you be over in—”

“Manehattan? Yes, I should, but instead I’m stuck here with a failure!”

I winced at that last word. “But… Discord left, I won.”

His eyes only seemed to burn deeper. “You only think you won! Why didn’t you strike him down when you had the chance? You should’ve taken him out like a real stallion would! Shining Armor would be ashamed at how you handled the situation, and don’t even get me started on Princess Cadance!”

“But… I—”

“Failed them! Failed the Royal Guard, and failed Equestria!” He growled and turned away. “I can’t even look at you, or call you my son. You’re on your own. I have to get back to Manehattan and comfort Sacred. She’s even more upset at you than I am, since you’re so ready to neglect her, never visiting or even sending a single letter! You should’ve moved with us, then I wouldn’t have to deal with how much of a failure you’ve become.” He trotted off and disappeared into the fog.

I blinked and sat down to stare at my reflection in a chocolate milk puddle. “I’m… a failure? Even after winning?” What I didn’t see in the reflection was Discord peeking down from behind a pink cloud with a wide grin.

I stood back up and looked at Canterlot. If I was a failure now, then I could only do what failures do. I changed my sword, climbed onto it and started slowly drifting to Canterlot. It was a two hour flight this time, and I could only hear my father’s words repeating in my head, “Failure, failure, failure.”

I landed at the barracks and walked in, finding Shining Armor at his desk. He immediately stood upon seeing me.

“There you are!” he said worriedly. “Princess Celestia made me put the guard on full alert, there’s something very wrong going on down in Ponyville. Where have you been? Why do you look gray? Have you anything to report?”

I scowled. “Report? Why in Equestria should I report anything to you?”

Shining Armor’s eyes widened. “Huh? What are you talking—”

I stomped a hoof. “I just wanted to come in and say I quit!” I turned around and walked out.

He gaped and started after me. “Wait, Swordulan! Get back in here right now, that’s an order!”

I glanced back at him with a cold stare. “I don’t take orders from you anymore.” I jumped back onto my sword and took off into a random part of the city, hoping to find some corner to slink into where nopony would have to care about my failures ever again.

“Failure, failure, failure.”

After a few minutes of mindless wandering, a shadow came across my vision. I looked up and saw it was Princess Cadance. I gave her the same scowl and cold glare I gave Shining Armor.

“What do you want?” I asked.

Cadance frowned. “To help you.”

“Why should you care about helping me? I’m just a stupid failure.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Because I’m your friend, and I know when something is wrong with one of my friends.”

I snorted and moved past her. “I don’t have any friends.”

She flew back in front of me. “Yes you do! You have me and Shining Armor, and I’m sure more than a few Royal Guards.”

“Like I said, I don’t have any friends. Not you, not Shining Armor, and definitely not any of the Royal Guards. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got things to do and places to go.”

“Go where, exactly?”

I moved past her again. “Home.”

“Why? What's so important at home?”

I stopped and slumped into a sitting position, feeling a few tears coming out of my eyes. “There’s nothing. I don’t have anything important. I’m a failure just like my father said, and my failures haven’t gotten me anywhere or anything.”

Cadance walked over and sat next to me, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “That’s not true. You’re an Officer of the Royal Guard, and you should be proud. You aren’t a failure, and you shouldn’t look for your father’s approval in what you do, or your friends'. You should do what you think is worthwhile.”

I looked at her tearfully. “But what if it turns out they’re right? What if I am a worthless failure? So far I haven’t been able to stop a single catastrophe from happening. The Nightmare Moon incident is all my fault, and now all of Ponyville is in chaos and I can’t stop it. I’m useless.”

“You saved Shining Armor and defeated those hydras, that has to count for something. You aren’t a worthless failure, and you aren’t useless.”

“But what if I—”

I was cut off by her standing up and striking me across the head with a hoof. “No! You aren’t! Get it out of your head!” She began using her magic and cast a spell on me. A thousand images and memories raced across my vision. They were every good moment that made me who I was, every conversation that spurred me to be greater, and every pony who saw worth in me. There were more than I thought. It was all so dizzying.

I shook my head and blinked a few times. “Cadance, what did you… ugh… what happened?” I shook my head again and gasped. “Oh no, Cadance, I’m so sorry… I thought Discord had left, and then my father appeared, but then... wait, did you really hit me on the head just now?”

Cadance smiled. “Sometimes we have to know when to take extreme measures to help the ones we care about.”

I smiled back and stood up. “Thanks.” I finally remembered what I had said to Shining Armor and gasped. “Oh no, Shining Armor, I accidentally quit the Royal Guard. I have to go talk to him!”

Without thinking I jumped onto my sword and flew into the air and back down to the barracks. Running in and finding Shining Armor I gave a salute. “Captain, I’m requesting reinstatement. I wasn’t acting like myself earlier and didn’t mean to quit, and I’m sorry for everything I said to you. It was incredibly disrespectful.”

Shining Armor only smiled. “All is forgiven. I thought you weren’t being yourself, that’s why I sent Cadance after you. You’ve got your rank back, and technically you never lost it. Getting the paperwork done on that isn’t exactly the highest priority right now. Anyway, I need eyes in Ponyville, my sister is down there and it’s become a mess.”

I nodded. “Right away, Captain. I can check on it from here.”

I cast a sight spell on my sword and levitated it out of the barracks and Canterlot, focusing my view on Ponyville. I made the spell zoom in and found Twilight and her friends facing Discord with the Elements of Harmony, but something was off about them. All of Twilight’s friends were gray. They seemed to only give a half-hearted attempt at using the Elements against Discord, and it failed. One by one Twilight’s friends tossed aside their Element and walked off, and afterwards even Twilight turned gray.

“Something’s wrong,” I said, cutting the spell and teleporting my sword back to me.

“What is it?” Shining Armor asked anxiously. “Is Twilight okay?”

I jumped onto my sword and shook my head. “No time to explain, I have to see Princess Celestia.”

I flew off towards the castle and found Celestia pacing around in a hallway. I jumped off my sword and bowed. “Princess Celestia, I need to speak with you immediately.”

She turned to me and eyed me sternly. “What is it?”

“Ponyville is in chaos. I saw Twilight and her friends, they failed to use the Elements to stop Discord. They’re all gray, but I don’t know what to do.”

Her eyes widened and she looked around as if the walls or floor had an answer to the problem. Finally she set her eyes back on me. “I know what to do. Follow me, quickly!”

Celestia began leading me through the castle halls and up winding stairs until we reached her reading room, the walls hidden by endless compartments with scrolls and books in them, old and new. She began looking through them.

“I must send Twilight’s old reports on the Magic of Friendship back to her, maybe it will help her remember to keep fighting. I don’t know what else I can do. Swordulan, help me find all of her reports and give them to me. They should all be on this side.”

I nodded and began scouring through the scrolls with her, giving her any that were signed by Twilight Sparkle. We searched down to the last scrap of paper.

“That’s the last of them, Princess,” I said as I levitated the final scroll I had found to her. “Will it be enough?”

Celestia sighed and sent the scroll off in her magic. “It has to be. It’s up to Twilight to bring back her friends and stop Discord.”

“Is there anything else I can do?”

“I’m afraid not. We can only hope that Twilight and her friends are strong enough to defeat Discord. For now you should report back to Shining Armor, I’m sure he’ll have something for you to do.”

I nodded and bowed. “Yes, Your Highness.”

I made my way out of the castle and to the barracks. Shining Armor didn’t have anything for me to do except stand at the wall overlooking Ponyville. The entire area had changed, and I could see the buildings floating from here. All there was to do was wait.

About half an hour passed, and I had taken to anxiously pacing the wall. I hated standing up here, doing nothing. I should’ve been down in Ponyville to help them. I was about to jump on my sword to fly down there when a bright light appeared from the town. A huge rainbow soared over it and collapsed on either side, forming a dome. The dome expanded and grew as bright as the sun, forcing me to look away, and in a flash it was gone. When I looked back, Ponyville had returned to normal. No more floating buildings, no more chocolate rain or popcorn. It was as if nothing ever happened.

All the guards at the wall who saw it cheered, and instead of going down to Ponyville I flew through Canterlot shouting, “Discord is defeated! Discord is defeated! Twilight and her friends have done it!”

The word spread, and soon Twilight and her friends arrived for a ceremony and celebration in their honor. I decided to sit it out, just glad that I could return home without something crazy happening.

Home… I had a real home now. It was going to take some time to get used to that. I definitely wasn’t going to miss my old bunk though.

Comments

[Fireeaters]

Your protagonist is supposed to be the driving force of the plot. Yours isn't, and it's made the story super boring. I'm going to stop tracking this story, goodbye.

[Himntor]

8193057
yep, he doesn't really start driving the plot for himself until about chapter 10. That's when I think the story really starts to pick up.