An ancient threat is clandestinely massing across the world as Rarity and Spike seek for answers to his mysterious past; however, their journey leads to something much larger than they anticipated, something that will change Equestria forever.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I really enjoyed this chapter and the story thus far. I thought having Pinkie assuage Spike's fears was a really good decision, having Twilight do it seemed a bit too predictable. I must also compliment the vocabulary you employ throughout the story, it's very smart and makes reading the story quite a bit more enjoyable than the standard fair.
Friends standing by his side.
Pink Ponk being pink ponk. Gotta love her.
That being said, I am troubled you keep going to the same concepts. You keep repeating, over and over, that other ponies are afraid of him. The readers, by now, should really have the concept. So instead of going back to it as the main conversation piece or thought process, have it be far more subtle, in the background.
That being said, you do the mechanics of writing masterfully! I just have a few questions about some thematic elements... (hope you take my thoughts in the spirit they were intended: trying to help, not be mean)
10087731
Yes, she is adorable, but also very helpful when she needs to be.
That is true. I suppose that I could remove some of those moments or replace them, but it could also be reasoned that Spike is feeling this way more because he is returning to his friends after four years. He could be worried more about what they think of him, which is making his concerns over his size more transparent. I may see what I can do, because I don't want to be too obvious or repetitive.
Well, thank you, dear. I am still not as happy with these chapters as I want to be, but I do love how Pinkie helps Spike to feel better. Oh, do not worry about that. I appreciate any compliment and criticism that I receive, as long as it is meant kindly, of course. Honestly, I would like to garner more criticism.