Two heroes face their greatest challenge yet on a world far unlike any they've ever visited. Follow Commander Anthony Dubias and Lieutenant Commander Rebecca Thorne as they lead a loyal crew through the greatest depths of hell hidden in paradise.
This story has one major kink in it that, unfortunately, prohibits me from fully enjoying the story: there are points in the story in which a set of characters somehow have knowledge of another given character's thought process.
This is, realisically, impossible.
If you fix this issue (and I mean throughout your entire story), your little tale here would be worthy of the market.
6875803 Keep in mind, siblings or friends who have known each other for a long enough time and/or are close enough friends/family, these folks can practically read each other. The bonds of friendship and family permit little "kinks" like this. I find this makes the story, rather than breaks it. So, all due respect, I see no flaw. If you can point out an instance where this happens between two characters who clearly are not close friends/family then I will take this "kink" you've noticed more seriously and investigate.
6293290 Negative. Keep in mind at range there were weak points on Titans that pilots could use AT weapons and even small arms to do significant damage. If a Griffin were to say, find out how to "rodeo" a titan well ..... yeah you can see what could go wrong there. Griffin's easily outdo humans in mass and muscle so it would make sense for their talons to be perfect tools in damaging the sensitive components under the armor plating.
Hey check it out guys, new chapter! WOO I AM ON A ROLL! :D
So the Griffin is almost as big as the Titan
This story has one major kink in it that, unfortunately, prohibits me from fully enjoying the story: there are points in the story in which a set of characters somehow have knowledge of another given character's thought process.
This is, realisically, impossible.
If you fix this issue (and I mean throughout your entire story), your little tale here would be worthy of the market.
Maybe.
6875803 Keep in mind, siblings or friends who have known each other for a long enough time and/or are close enough friends/family, these folks can practically read each other. The bonds of friendship and family permit little "kinks" like this. I find this makes the story, rather than breaks it. So, all due respect, I see no flaw. If you can point out an instance where this happens between two characters who clearly are not close friends/family then I will take this "kink" you've noticed more seriously and investigate.
6293290 Negative. Keep in mind at range there were weak points on Titans that pilots could use AT weapons and even small arms to do significant damage. If a Griffin were to say, find out how to "rodeo" a titan well ..... yeah you can see what could go wrong there. Griffin's easily outdo humans in mass and muscle so it would make sense for their talons to be perfect tools in damaging the sensitive components under the armor plating.