~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Amico. Sorry if I haven't written to you as much as I said I would. I've just been a bit busy with work and stuff. It's almost midnight right now and Dinky is over at her friend Twist's house. I like Twist. She's a good friend to my little muffin, and a good influence. Unlike those three fillies that call themselves the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'. I mean, they're good fillies and all, it's just that I don't want Dinky joining in on their crazy antics.
Anyways, this week was rather dull. I didn't get to see Rainbow Dash at all because she had to go help with the weather in Phillydelphia, and I couldn't see her in between deliveries. I sound rather obsessive, don't I? I really don't mean to be. That happens a lot in love, doesn't it? One pony loves another and can't ever think about anything else, while the other is completely in the dark.
Hmm... I don't think I mentioned that the last time I wrote to you. Hold on, let me check. Nope, I sure didn't. Well then, this is awkward... Okay, so yes, I'm madly in love with Rainbow Dash. It must be weird for me to just say that outright. Especially after all that I wrote last time.
Oh, I know! I could tell you about the time I fell for Rainbow. It's actually quite an interesting story. It is in my opinion, anyways. Let me go get a muffin before I start writing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So, this is the story of how I fell in love with the stunning Rainbow Dash. (That sounds silly.)
It was three years ago on a cloudy September morning. Dinky was only five, so I had to get her a foalsitter while I went to work, and Lyra, her usual foalsitter, was sick. So, I decided to call up my friend Roseluck. Thankfully, she was off work that day.
I'm pretty sure that's not important, but I felt like writing it in here anyways.
After Roseluck arrived, I hurriedly flew to work. I knew I was already late. My boss was furious at me that day. He kept telling me about how I was always getting to work late and how many accidents I had caused over the year that I had been there. I tried telling him that it wasn't my fault, but he wouldn't listen to me.
After he gave me a huge lecture, he just sent me home for the day. Most ponies would have been ecstatic. I'm not most ponies, though. I begged and pleaded for him to let me work. I needed that job... But again, he refused and sent me home. I was just lucky that he wasn't firing me.
Instead of going home, I went to find a lone cloud to sit and think on. I'm not sure how long I sat there. Not too long, I'm sure. I'm also not sure when Rainbow Dash got there, but when I next looked up, she was there.
Now, before I tell you this next part, I have to explain something to you. Me and Rainbow had become the best of friends in our eighteen years of friendship. We had created a new kind of trust. Neither of us kept secrets from one another. I knew everything about her, and she knew everything about me. We were more than friends, now that I think about it.
When I looked up, Rainbow must have seen the hurt in my eyes, because she immediately hugged me and kissed me on the cheek in a friendly manner.
"Hey Ditzy," she said. Keep in mind that this was before I got my nickname, 'Derpy'. "Something bothering you?"
"Yea," I said, returning the embrace. "Crafty got onto me for being late for work... again." I sighed, breaking the hug. "Then he told me to take the day off. He didn't fire me, though," I added when Rainbow Dash looked at me with a concerned expression. "I just... don't know anymore, Dash. I'm really thinking about quitting. Crafty always tells me how bad I'm doing... The whole company would be better off without me..."
I had let my head hang about halfway into my little speech. Rainbow put a hoof on my chin and pulled my head back up. She had a sincere smile on her face. "Don't say that, Ditzy. You know you should never quit, ever, no matter what! Come on, that's like your motto. You can't just quit your job because of something your boss said. Don't let him get to you. And you know what? That company would be worse off without you. Ya know why? Because you have character. I've been to your office. I've seen the boring ponies that work there. Without you, they wouldn't know how to live. Sure, they make fun of you. Sure, none of them really respect you. But you wanna know why? Because they wish they were as cool as you."
I'll never forget what she did for me that day. Sure, it wasn't the nicest thing ever, but it got me a raise and more respect from Crafty. After I had went home, she went to Cloudsdale Mail and Freight and had a long talk with my boss. I don't know what exactly they talked about, but I do know it scared the buck out of Crafty.
That night, I sat in bed and thought about what Rainbow had said, and what she had done for me. I didn't just fall in love with her right then, of course, but my feelings for her did grow. My love for her became stronger and stronger with each passing day.
And that's the story of how I, Ditzy Doo, fell in love with the amazing Rainbow Dash.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, I guess that's all I have for you tonight, Amico. It's nearly three in the morning, so I should get some sleep. Goodnight. Is it weird saying goodnight to a journal? I don't know. Well, what's written can't be unwritten.
Your dear friend,
Ditzy 'Derpy' Doo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I can't sleep... It's almost five in the morning... I don't know why, but I just can't sleep when Dinky is gone. It makes the house feel so empty, and I feel so alone. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to go find my sleeping pills. Talk to you later, Amico.
Your dear friend,
Ditzy 'Derpy' Doo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why does that last entry fill me with foreboding?
An interesting start, a unique pairing, and a good sense of narrative voice. Perhaps a bit rushed, but c'est la vie really. Thumbs up and I look forward to seeing how this goes. Even if there has never been anything good to come from sleeping pills.
671723 I honestly didn't think about that. It wasn't really meant to be depressing.
671906 It seems rushed? D'oh! I tried my hardest to make it smooth. Oh well. Why do sleeping pills always have to be a bad thing?!
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
671998 Because they denote something is keeping them awake. And things that affect sleep like that are associated as bad, and potentially drug/alcohol-inducing.
Not that that's what always happens, that's just the common connotation.
671998
The need for sleeping medication in and of itself isn't bad, however given the number of deaths and incidents caused yearly by accidental overdoses, ingestion with alcohol (Accidental or intentional), and the wacky hallucinations and reactions that the pills tend to give people then yes they tend to get looked at with caution.
As for the rushed comment, don't worry too much about it, a 1st person journal story can get away with a fast pace a lot easier then other formats. That said, any time a character makes the leap from 'just friends' to 'I love you' out of the blue, it will seem a bit jarring. Perhaps this could have been resolved with a slower build up or a more in depth background setup.
672139 Hmm... I'll have to work on that, then.
672016>>672139 And as for the whole pill thing, what has been written cannot be undone. Well... Not really... But still. I didn't mean for the pills to be anything other than a way for her to fall asleep. You must remember that I am quite young. I don't know that much about pills and drugs and shit.
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
672676
I'm not that young anymore and I've worked in a pharmacy, it's kind of in my nature to be concerned about these things. Seriously though, don't worry about it.
672849 Okayyy.
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
a few flags went up here but I'll reserve judgment till it's clear and I'm not jumping to conclusions. very interesting fic here.
" When I looked up, Rainbow must have seen the hurt in my eyes, because she immediately hugged me and kissed me on the cheek in a friendly manor."
Methinks you were looking for the word 'manner', at the end there?
Also, it felt a bit short to me, but I still enjoyed it rather well. Could use a bit more information in a few parts, but it was still a good read.
Note: I wrote this comment at around 5 AM, which means it's probably not as detailed as it should be.
674314 Meehh... Thanks for catching that error. Fixed!
And yea, I did notice that these chapters are very short. I'm just not really sure what else to add to them... I'll just have to work on that.
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
712585 Eh, this all turns into foresight in the end. Glad to know you liked the story, though. Next chapter should be up soon.
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
I agree with them that an immediate transition from 'friends' to 'I love you' is quite, um, dam what's the word... nevermind can't think of it, but continuing, think of who it is writing in the journal. It's Derpy, and she seems like the kind of pony that would forget to put that into an entry and then suddenly bring it up next time without any real thought. Other than that, this story was quite well done, I like it. You my fine friend get five out of five yay's.
oops, the yay's didn't work so here they are
or they didn't load for about 20 minutes
771321 I think the word you were looking for is 'subtle'. Or rather, the opposite of subtle.
Thanks for the feedback! the next five chapters shall be here soon, I swear it!
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
Again so far so fabulous its really good so far and in my opinion starting to evolve into a interesting story now as I type this I must go on to the nest chapter but remember stay fabulous my ponies
... a thoght suddenly crossed my mind.
I don't no if it's a stereotype, but...
Do you think Derpy's family could be traced back far enough to a human bartender named Desmond? (If you know what I mean...)