My Little Hellsing

by Mr Wolf

Chapter 3: Fear and Anger

"Master! Help!"

The Voice rang out with horror, in the darkness that engulfed Alucard, then light came. It was night, the moon basking in its full glory, looking like a giant amongst the stars. On the ground in front of him was Seras Victoria, speared by Anderson's bayonets, Sir Integra not far away, decapitated.

Then, sudden pain was felt as Anderson stabbed the red vampire in his non-beating heart.

"Monstrous heathen, your servants are gone, your castle plundered and hundreds lie dead on the battlefield, all to end the fire of death that you have created. Now tell me, Vampire, devil, horror on earth, WHAT SAY YOU NOW!?"

Alucard could merely respond with "I have a Raging Boner."

Anderson grunted, before inserting the final blow.
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Alucard jolted awake, he for a moment wandered where he was, before remembering he was in one of Princess Twilight's basements.

"Oh God... It's Monday!" he stated gleefully, a plan forming in his mind.

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At Cheerilee's school, the Crusaders, were trying frantically to persuade everyone that they met an actual vampire. They even tried to persuade Miss Cheerilee that they exist.

"Hey Blank Flanks, guess what!" Diamond Tiara said, Miss Cheerilee understood why she was annoyed so didn't scold he for name calling, "There is no such thi-"

Just then Alucard phased through the wall shouting "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!?"

The entire class screamed hysterically, Miss Cheerilee include. Everyone except The CMC. The whole class just stared at him, screaming their vocal chords out, and at least three of them wetted themselves, for a minute before Scootaloo yelled "STOP SCREAMING!" The whole class then calmed down.

"So this is were you go to school, neat. Could use a little more red." Alucard grinned as Sir Integra ran into the room.

"I'm sorry." Sir Integra apologised "I tried to stop him, but when I yelled at him not to he merely responded, and mind my French..."

"Hey! I'm Prench!" someone interupted.

"No offense..." Sir Integra apologised again. "Alucard merely said 'Shit on the Army' he then proceeded to egg and T.P every building he passed on his way here." Alucard began to laugh.

"Well, looks like Ponyville will be busy cleaning up... whatever he did." Cheerilee stated before asking "What is egging and T.P-ing?" earning a few giggles from the class.

"Egging is... ha ha... basically throwing...ha ha raw eggs at... ha ha buildings, and to... ha ha... T.P a building is to... ha ha... toss toilet paper over a building." Alucard explained between laughs.

Just then then an angry mob with pitchforks and torches (Why do they even have those? It's 11 am in the morning.) appeared in the doorway with three of the Princess's in the front.

"MONSTER OF DARKNESS!" Luna bellowed in the R.C.V. "WE HAVE RECEIVED COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU ATTACKING THIS TOWN AND..."

"Okay bitch, hold it there." Alucard interrupted, hearing a few gasps from insulting Royalty. "I didn't attack the town I just threw eggs and toilet paper at buildings on my way here, scared the shit out of some school kids, and sold a tiara to a thrift store."

"Wait, what!" Diamond Tiara looked up to see her namesake tiara missing, she then freaked out, curling up on the floor and jabbering on about how she is a good filly.

"Okay... FOR VANDALISING, CHILD ABUSE AND THEFT..."Luna continued before being interrupted yet again, this time by Sir Integra.

"Actually, he always does that almost every second week." The female vampire stated.

Seras then walked into the room, through the wall, holding tiara. "Hey Master, look what I bought at the local thrift store, neat eh? But why does it say 'Diamond Tiara's don't touch'?"

Said filly came to her senses to say "That's mine. GIMMEMYTIARA!" Needless to write, her attempt at tackling the vampire was in vain as she crashed into the wall where Seras was standing just a moment before. "But...How?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"uh Hello? I'm a vampire?" Seras stated boldly.

Everyone then turned to Sir Integra. "Yes I'm a vampire too!" before being blinded by a flash of purple light. When her vision returned, it was so quick (even for a vampire) it was like she wasn't even blinded at all. Then before her stood Twilight.

"Twilight, get out of there!" shouted Cadence.

"It's Okay, they're not evil!"

After many pain staking hours of explain, calming everyone down and persuading Seras to give Diamond Tiara her property back (Everyone was getting tired of the filly whimpering and crying) Celestia finally said "Well, seeing as you once fought other creatures of darkness, you are welcomed to stay in Ponyville as long as you like."

"Great, but..."Sir Integra started. "Would it be all right if I can rebuild the Hellsing Organisation here?"

The regal solar Alicorn thought for a moment, then said "of course."

Comments

[Amethyst Blade]

I will read this just for the silliness of it all

[Franky]

6143237 LOL nice one on adding that on, made my day!

[Neo_Primo]

I'm laughing way to hard thank you