You Spelled it Wrong

by Ex-Ed

Chapter 6

Canterlot Park

By now, Canterlot was in the middle of night (for the seventh time in the past twenty four hours). A unicorn with a blue coat and purple mane was walking with her coltfriend, a turquoise coat and white mane unicorn on a bridge over a small river.

"It's a beautiful sky tonight." The mare said.

"Yeah…" The stallion replied, looking up into the night-sky. "Though I think I know something that's a lot more beautiful." He nuzzled the unicorn's cheek.

"You always say such kind things." The mare responded.

The stallion smiled. "That's' why I wanted to make this really special. It took forever for the sky to stop changing at the right moment."

He lowered his head, pointing the horn at his lover. A ring was visible around it, originally obscured by his mane. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes!" The mare threw her front hooves around the other's neck. Nothing could've spoiled that moment for the two lovers.

Up until Celestia and Luna came in, driving a bright pink and white tank over the bridge and crushing the couple in a cartoonish manner.

"...That hurt…"

"No kidding? Somepony should give you a medal."

The tank was being driven by the still-filly Celestia. The tank was very big, only slightly smaller than an average Ponyville house, so neither the driver nor shooter of the vehicle ever had to stick their heads out of the top.

Celestia giggled with joy as she recklessly drove the armored vehicle around the town. "This is the most fun I've ever had in…" She stopped for a moment. She turned to Luna, who was fiddling with some controls on the front panel. "How old are we?"

The younger sister thought for a moment. "Umm…" She levitated an abacus to her from a back table. After a bit of clicking, she spoke again, "Somewhere in between two, and two million years."

"That's a pretty big gap." Celestia commented. "Are you sure?"

Luna shrugged. She looked at the wooden mathematics tool. "If I am not mistaken, there's a high probability that the absolute value of our ages is unidentifiable, but can easily be estimated to the nearest year and millennium."

Being only fillies, the princesses had relatively short attention spans. Luna noticed shiny, red button on the panel. "What does this do?"

"Press it and find out!" Celestia responded, trying to turn the tank around.

The darker pony pressed it, then BOOM! A loud explosion-like sound was heard. The sound of a building falling down sounded as the fillies drove the tank away from the park.

It took a good ten seconds until Luna realized, "I think I just fired the gun."

"Good thing the ammo's only made of that explosive bubblegum!" Celestia exclaimed. "Totally harmless!"

Meanwhile, Applejack and Rarity had finally caught up to the princesses. The building the fillies fired at was destroyed and covered in sticky, pink gum. Luckily, the demolished building in question was only a public restroom, thankfully empty.

However, equestrian scholars are still wondering why Canterlot had a 2-story public restroom in the first place to this very day.

Applejack and Rarity galloped faster to the tank. "This ain't good at all! We can't keep up with that mechanical monster!"

The tank was large and heavy, but it moved faster than a galloping pony. This meant the two adult ponies were unable to keep up, even if the driver had terrible hoof-eye coordination.

"We'll never be able to catch up to that vehicle by just chasing it." Rarity assessed. She stopped, prompting Applejack to stop as well. "I think I may have an idea."

"Well, tell it quick! They're gonna git' away!" Applejack pointed her hoof to the escaping princesses.

Rarity smiled. "Don't worry about them leaving, darling. I have an idea…" She gestured to a disgruntled Caramel and Noteworthy, who seemingly had nothing to do despite all the chaos.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Ah don't get it."

"Ask them for help to get those fillies out of the tank." Rarity said. "I think that with four of us, we could think of something to get the princesses out."

She pulled a large sheet of paper from seemingly nowhere. She proceeded to write ideas to accomplish their goal. "A true fashionista always carries one for travels." She said before Applejack could ask.

"Alrighty then..." She trotted to the stallions as the unicorn continued to write on her paper.

Applejack got closer to the colts. "Howdy ya'll!" She shouted to them.

Caramel's mood instantly brightened. "Hey Applejack! Did you need something?"

The apple farmer nodded. "Either of ya know how ta completely stop a tank?"

"Ha!" Caramel laughed. "Completely stop a tank? I'll handle it. Where's the tank?"

Applejack pointed her hoof to the tank about half of a mile behind her. "That one."

"Got it!" Caramel ran past the other pony and heroically ran towards the mechanical monster.

The stallion jumped in front of the tank, ready to be squashed. But he quickly dropped onto the ground, back to the ground; thus lowering himself enough to fit in between the gap between the tank and ground.

He looked up, making sure not to hit the tank with his head. He noticed a push-open compartment at the middle. It was often used for the tank's drivers to escape in emergency. But it could also be used the other way around.

The stallion bashed the compartment open before it left head-butting range. He nimbly grabbed onto the now open hatch with his back hooves. He dragged against the ground slightly before pulling himself into the hull of the tank. "Yes! I'm in."

He quickly surveyed the area. Two filly alicorns were working the controls and driving. There was a single table with chairs grounded to the floor, as well as a furnace in the far back. There was a small room containing popcorn bullets and huge bubblegum, artillery shells.

Upon hearing the hatch open, Celestia turned around. "Ahh! Stranger in the tank! Do something Luna!"

"Umm… Umm…" She looked at her mathematics tool. "Mr. Abacus! Use headbutt!" She threw the tool at Caramel, striking him in the head.

"Ow!"

"I think I got a critical."

Caramel refrained from growling angrily. He just had to complete his goal and he could leave. He looked around the inside more, noticing that in the small room with the ammunition were some unopened bags of popcorn. In the Equestrian Military, they kept those in the tanks as reserve ammo.

He rushed to the small room and immediately grabbed a bag of popcorn with his mouth. Unfortunately for him, the bag was not light. He grunted as he dragged the heavy package near the furnace. Once he got the bag close enough, he bucked it into the furnace.

"She's gonna blow!" Caramel exclaimed. He turned to the princesses. "I'd get out if I were you."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

BOOM!

The bag exploded, quickly filling the tank with buttery popcorn. It wasn't long at all until half of the tank was comically flooded with the tasty snack.

"That's why."

Celestia was forced out of her seat as the popcorn flooded the front area. No longer being driven, the tank came to a halt. The popcorn was too much for the tank to hold. More and more of the buttery snack filled the vehicle to the brim.

The pressure of all that popcorn caused the tank to burst. While the explosion was not as spectacular as Rainbow Dash demolishing a barn, it was still quite large despite the fact it was caused by too much cargo. The tank exploded in a shower of popcorn, letting the remainder of the buttery contents and the three ponies spill out of the demolished hull.

The other three ponies who were watching quickly ran to the carcass of the tank. They couldn't find neither the fillies nor Caramel in the mess, so they quickly started to dig through the popcorn to find the missing ponies.

Applejack dug in a particularly large mound of popcorn. She soon felt a hairy spot under her hoof. The pony looked down, realizing that she had dug and stepped on Caramel's head. "Whoops." She assisted the slightly dazed stallion out of the pile.

Caramel shook his head to help him snap back to reality. He cocked his head, and patted his ear, making some popcorn come out of the other. "I never really liked popcorn that much." He admitted.

"That was amazin' Caramel!" Applejack exclaimed in awe. "How'd ya learn tah do that?"

"Well…"

…

"Caramel, honey! Come downstairs!" An excited mare called out. She had a gold-colored coat and a red mane, with honey buns as a cutie mark. "Your father and I have some wonderful news for you!"

A young Caramel rushed down the stairs as fast his little hooves could let him. "Yeah mother? What is it?"

"I'll tell you what," A stallion replied not farther away. He had a gold coat similar to his wife's, except it was visibly darker. His mane was a brown color and for a cutie mark, he had a rocket on it. "We've decided to enroll you into military school where they teach the youngsters of your generation how to defend your country. Have fun!"

Before he knew it, Caramel had suitcase shoved into his face and was led outside, where a pegasus-drawn bus was waiting. The colt was tossed into the bus as his parents waved goodbye.

"What just happened…?"

…

"The first lesson that day was quite oddly specific; how to destroy a loaded tank from the inside out with nothing but your bare, dang hooves." Caramel concluded. "And there you have it. I also got my first scar that day."

Applejack just stared at the other pony with a bewildered, somewhat doubtful expression. "Caramel, that sounds a bit far-fetched."

Before Caramel could backup his story with "I still have the scar", Rarity came running up to the two. She appeared as though she had just witnessed something shocking considering her expression.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you two," Rarity apologized. "But we must still find the princesses. If they're not in this pile, they're most likely in that larger one over there." She pointed to the hill of debris in the distance.

Applejack looked at Caramel. "Thanks a bunch fer takin' care of the tank." The farmpony gave Caramel a quick peck on his cheek and walked away with Rarity.

Caramel touched his cheek. "She kissed me…" A heart fluttered by his head as he fell to the ground in enjoyment.

Noteworthy walked up to his downed body. "I assume the mission was a success?"

"It sure was, Blues." Caramel replied, referring to his friend's nickname. "She kissed me on the cheek! I'm never washing this cheek again."

"Wow," Noteworthy sarcastically remarked. "What'd you use to persuade her to do that?"

"It was my swag." The other colt replied. "She totally loves my swag."

"Uh-huh…"

Everfree Forest

"Pinkie." Sweet Tooth said, tugging on the party pony's tail. "Why we here?"

Pinkie turned to her companion. "Twilight told me that Fluttershy would be here! We're just here to make sure she's okay and that Big Mac hasn't bucked any trees down."

The pink pair were walking on the dirt path of the Everfree Forest. It was raining quite a bit, but the wind had stopped. They were both wearing extra-large umbrella hats to keep themselves dry.

Pinkie carried a pink basket on her back and an equally colored bucket in her mouth. The basket was filled with whatever sweets Pinkie managed to stash in there. Managing to fit all those cakes in there, she internally admitted, was almost as easy as stuffing inflated, yet untied balloons into suitcases. The bucket was filled with plates, utensils, and a large cloth needed for a picnic.

She also carried a pink saddlebag, which was filled with noisemakers, streamers, balloons, and all sorts of other goodies. She personally called it her "Emergency Party Pack".

Sweet Tooth was also doing his share. He carried two lunchboxes in his stubby hands. While he didn't have fingers, he could flexibly bend his hand in such a way to grip items, which Pinkie quickly realized would be useful. Each lunchbox was (of course) pink and filled with food.

"Who is… Fluttersye?" Sweet Tooth asked.

"It's Fluttershy," Pinkie said, putting extra emphasis on the shy. "And she's the kindest pony in all of Equestria! She a pegasus who cares for animals and is really shy and is scared of heights and is a weak flier and is yellow with a pink mane and is scared of dragons and lives in a cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest and is scared of the Everfree forest and has a pet bunny and gets shipped with Big Mac a lot despite never meeting him canonically like right now and is probably scared of Big Mac and drinks juice boxes and is scared of her shadow and-"

Sweet Tooth put a stubby hand to Pinkie's mouth, silencing her. "Too much talky." He said.

Pinkie nodded. "Sorry. I tend to ramble on and on and on and on and on." She checked her bags to make sure nothing was out of place when she rambled mindlessly. "Everything seems to be in order. I think that Fluttershy's surprise picnic party will be-"

Pinkie was cut off when her entire body shuttered. "Uh oh! Dozy time!" She shuttered again, accidentally dropping her luggage. "And it's gonna be bad!"

Sweet Tooth watched his friend oddly, not knowing why Pinkie would suddenly be involuntarily having panic attacks, or at least what looked like panic attacks.

She quickly gathered up her dropped items again. "We'll need to find Fluttershy as soon as possible, but we'll never find her in the forest before the dozy happens!"

Sweet Tooth put his lunchboxes to the ground and threw off his hat.

"Sweet Tooth, what are you doing?" Pinkie asked innocently, tilting her head to the side. "I don't understand why you just dropped your things and we need to get go- Holy moley!"

She was stunned as Sweet Tooth started… flying. Somehow, he was quickly inflating then deflating to make himself hover in the air. He floated to a higher elevation, attempting to get a better view. Thankfully, the sun was shining rather brightly despite the rain, so Sweet Tooth was soon able to notice something in the distance.

"Thing! Thing!" He shouted to Pinkie, pointing to a moving figure about half of a mile away. "Thing!"

"What'd look like?" Pinkie asked, curious of whatever creature had startled her friend.

Sweet Tooth looked out at the odd creature, scanning it for any qualities he could vocalize to Pinkie. After a short while, he said. "Cow with huge arms!"

Pinkie couldn't see it thanks to all of the bushes and trees obscuring her vision of that direction. "I don't see anything Sweet Tooth! You'll need to take me to the thing on foot."

Sweet Tooth nodded his body up and down, signifying an okay. He gently descended next to Pinkie. He picked up the lunchboxes he dropped, as well as the hat. After getting himself adjusted once more, he led the pony to the direction he saw the silhouette of whatever monster had been lurking about.

Makeshift Cabin

Fluttershy lazily opened her eyes. The pegasus didn't know how long she'd slept, but by feeling of how she was not as tired as before, she thought she was asleep for quite a while.

She looked up and realized that Big Macintosh was still sleeping. Fluttershy smiled at the larger pony. Now that she thought about it, he has been very tolerant of Fluttershy, what with going through the forest to find her, building a little shack to keep her dry, and giving her that relaxing massage.

The pony sighed. She knew in her heart that she had to pay back all the kindness that Big Macintosh had done her. Big Macintosh had put up with her behavior with a calm demeanor.

The pegasus thought for a moment. Maybe she could ask Pinkie Pie to host a small party or convince Rarity to make something nice for him to wear for the winter.

Fluttershy would have normally done it for him herself, but the feelings were still somewhat rocky and unclear. She was starting to fall for him, but she still barely knew anything about him. Even if she wanted to become more than friends with the stallion, she'd have no grounds to other than their adventure through the forest to start it.

Fluttershy looked up at the small opening in the side of the crude building. It had finally stopped raining and the wind was no longer raging, albeit it was still pretty cloudy.

We should get going. Fluttershy told herself. Staying in the Everfree Forest is never a good idea.

She got up from her laying down position. She turned to Big Macintosh and gently nudged his shoulder. He grunted slightly in annoyance then opened his eyes.

"Hmm?" He mumbled as he shook himself awake. "What is it, sugarcube?"

"Well," Fluttershy explained, sweeping the ground with her front hoof back and forth. "It's just that it's finally stopped raining and the wind isn't as violent as before. So maybe we should go back to Ponyville now, if that's okay with you."

Big Macintosh nodded, getting back up on his hooves and stretching himself out.

"Eeyup. The Everfree Forest ain't made fer no pony." He yawned. "Let's get goin'."

The red pony exited through the large opening in the cabin, with the pink-maned pegasus following close behind him.

"First thing's first," Big Macintosh analyzed. "We'll need to think of some sort of landmark or other notable thing we saw on the way here. If we can spot it, it'll help us find our way back to Ponyville." He turned to Fluttershy. "Do ya' remember seeing anything that stuck out?"

Fluttershy thought for a moment. "Well, there was a river not that far from when we first entered the forest, but I'm- Eep!"

Fluttershy was cut off when Big Macintosh enveloped her in a hug. "Of course!" He realized. "The river's nearly impossible to miss. If we can find it, we'll be so much closer to getting back home! Fluttershy, you're the best!"

The next thing Big Macintosh did was something Fluttershy would never have seen coming. He quickly pulled his head away and just as quickly planted his lips onto Fluttershy's, kissing her somewhat roughly.

Fluttershy's face turned into a shade of red that was deep enough to rival the stallion that was kissing her. She felt that it was impossible for her to move, numbly attempting to escape the stallion's painfully tight embrace.

Big Macintosh finally pulled away, letting Fluttershy go. From the look on the stallion's face, he was unfazed by his privacy-invading attack. He quickly galloped away, shouting "C'mon Fluttershy! Let's find that river!"

Fluttershy just stood there, dazed and flustered. She couldn't think straight. Her emotions couldn't decide whether to be mad at Big Macintosh, or madly in love with him by now. It was if all of her thoughts and feelings were just blended together and shaken up.

After all, that was her first ever kiss.

After getting her grip back on reality, the pegasus realized that Big Macintosh had gotten a significant lead on her. She realized that if she didn't want to get left behind by the stallion, she'd need to start moving as soon as possible.

While the last thing she needed right now was to see Big Macintosh again, Fluttershy knew that she couldn't let him get hurt. She'll have to confront the kiss later.

She was about to take her first step when she heard a deep, fearsome growl.

"Poooooniiieeess…"

Fluttershy yelped. Panic implanted itself in her mind. How could I forget the very reason we came into this forest? Now I'm all alone with… with…

Fluttershy crouched down in fear, closed her eyes, and covered her head. She felt a earth-shaking stomp and heard another fearsome growl.

She opened her eyes and looked at the ferocious monster in front of her.

It was some kind of dark brown, bipedal creature, about twice as big as a pony the size of Big Macintosh. It had hooves on the back legs, but it had hands like a dragon's on its huge, muscular arms. The monster was incredibly muscular, especially its upper body. It had two curved horns decorated on top of its cow-like head. A thin tail was barely visible behind its body. A large, golden nose ring decorated its enraged face as drool sloppily slid from its mouth.

"A-a-a wild minotaur…" Fluttershy realize, face-to-face with the beast. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "U-u-um… h-hi?"

"RRRAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHRR!"

The meek pegasus yelped in fear of the monster's terrifying roar. Fluttershy had heard of these beasts before, but thought these, untamed kinds only existed in legends and fairy tales. They only lurked in dungeons and places underneath the surface level and never came up. They were stubborn and extremely aggressive; they would not obey a single command or peacefully listen to anyone. They would attack anything they could find and gobble them up.

Fluttershy jumped away and flew high to grab onto a tree branch. Once she was out of the monster's range, she looked down. "He can't get me up here…"

Suddenly, she felt the tree shake violently. She looked down again. The minotaur was trying to topple the tree over with its bare hands. After all, they were the strongest creature in Equestria, rivaling even adult dragons in strength.

The tree couldn't take the second punch. Fluttershy jumped off of the branch and onto an adjacent tree branch. She looked at where her former platform was. It had collapsed to the ground, a visible stump where the base was.

"S-Somepony, anypony!" Fluttershy shouted, fear and panic evident in her voice. Tears strolled down her face as the Minotaur prepared to unleash a punch onto Fluttershy's new tree. "HELP ME!"

Comments

[Diabolic Gnome]

I see what you did there

[shadowabsol]

First.
Can't wait to accualy read this. It looks halarious.
Wait "rainbow dash's" plural? The world is going to end!

[SosukeRyou]

634263
that awkward moment when you're not really first.

[shadowabsol]

634324
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Risec]

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/296/349/ae2.gif

excellent

[Derpy Fan 4eva]

If the derpmister's there then the derpstalker will be there! Warning! I'm an English Professor, so expect me to be a ruthless nit-picker! I go

[OkieDokieLokie]

Kirby, use copy! Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, dah! Da-da, da, da, da-da! Kirby became Fire Kirby!

[Ex-Ed]

634585

I had to copy this from Fanfiction.net, and the entire story up to this point was using "Ditzy Doo" instead of "Derpy", since this was made before her name became official. Upon the transition, I tried to replace all the "Ditzy" with "Derpy", but I knew I was bound to miss one.

[chartreusephlox]

634685
It wasn't until your comment that I realized Sweet Tooth is supposed to be Kirby. Even though I read the description that mentioned a "Slight crossover with Kirby". I'm an idiot.

My obliviousness aside, I really enjoyed the story so far. I'm looking forward to the rest.

[OkieDokieLokie]

636459
Control + f on a PC, or command + f on a Mac, then type Ditzy into the search bar that shows up.

[flutterbrony7474]

Question: is the fiction that shalt not be named 'Cupcakes'? If it was, I'd say you captured the basement perfectly!

[Ex-Ed]

641840

Indeed it was. Thanks!

[chartreusephlox]

657350 I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say. (Not sarcasm.)

[AIRFIGHTER]

i love how the 2 mysterious ponies are Tiff and Meta Knight