Ce--...Princess Celestial?

...

Hmmmm....

Interesting premise though, I might give it a read later.

Needs more depth, as there is a lot more to develop. Celestia's relationship with Toland needs to be explored more.

Also!

Dragons evolved from reptiles. Griffins evolved from birds. Ponies are definitely mammals.

This line grated my heart and soul. It wounded me.
Ponies evolved from. . . !
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e7/1d/ac/e71dacedab3a21dbb2b535563df86425.jpg

7123022 Your username strikes fear into fimfiction writers everywhere.

7123042 Indeed! I am true to my name!

Realy short, i honestly expected a lot more with that kind of intro, also glosses over a lot
Through props on the idea, i like that

This looks like its going somewhere, you have my interest :)

DUUUUDDEE!! That is awesome! When's the next chapter coming out?

7123295 Soon™

7123731 Then why say completed?

7123733 Fixed™

Toland?

As in Toland the Shattered from Destiny? hmmmm....

7123932 Ok!

7123960 What? I don't have Destiny references laced throughout my stories! I have no idea what your talking about.

7124148

... HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

with out

IIRC without shouldn't have a space, but it's 3:40 AM so I might be wrong.

Under that friendly face, was there really the heart of a killer?

No, silly. The brain goes there.

7125547 Stop trying to confuse me with your fancy science talk.

7124362 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

7124148 "Yours... not mine......."