• Published 7th May 2015
  • 4,923 Views, 131 Comments

Am I Evil - Mandroid



Anonymous and a band of misunderstood misfits set out to change the world through the power of music. Or get laid, whichever comes first.

  • ...
24
 131
 4,923

The Masked Man.

“Yo, I think I found it!”

”Coming~!”

You fish your lighter out of your pocket and hold it up, illuminating the insides of the cave.

“Are you positive the Everfree is safe this far in?”

Chrysalis walks in behind you and pats your chest. “Quit your whining, I’ll protect you.” She holds up her first and greats a green flame around it, lighting up the cavern more.

”Hey Anon, mines bigger~.” She teases.

“Liar.”

”Pffft. You wish.”

“I don’t have to wish.”

Chrysalis rolls her eyes and leads you deeper into the cave.

You glance at her. “…Kinda metaphorical, huh? Deep dark cave…you leading the way.”

”Oh stop.”

“Someone had to say it.”

Chrysalis leads you into a large circular chamber and throws her fire into the air, the flame splits into several smaller embers and take place around the room, illuminating it all and revealing its contents. Carved into the floors, walls, and ceiling were ancient hieroglyphs depicting ancient magical rites and the songs used to summon the magic of old. Above you murals of titanic figures battling in the sky and raining furious sounds and metals onto the ground at your feet were depicted. Around you mighty warriors did battle with terrifying demons in an orgy of death and destruction that had all but been lost to time.

”Killer…” you both mutter.

Chrysalis walks over to the wall and begins to copy down some of the musical chord hieroglyphs on a pad of paper. ”I told you this would be here.” Chrysalis says.

You run your hands over some etched stone carvings, trying to feel the power the original carver must have felt when he first played the solo they represent. “That you did…but why here? Why near Fillydelphia?”

”The Midnight Castle isn’t too far from here, we’d be bound to find some fonts of Tirek’s power here.”

You certainly felt the power.

Chrysalis and you spend the next hour or so recording the findings the cave had.

“Think this’ll help The Masterpiece along?”

The Masterpiece was a song the entire band had been working on collectively together for the past…well, as long as you could remember. You’d all poured your hearts and souls into it, trying to make it perfect. You’d taken all the raw fury you could muster and the images of other carved murals you’d found in caves like this one you’d found before and throwing every technical trick each of you could into it.

It had to be perfect, you were going to change the world with that song. And perfection took time.

”I think I found a good few things.” Chrysalis says, stowing her pen and paper.

“So now what?” you ask.

Chrysalis looks around and shrugs. “Quicky in the cave~?”

Normally by this point you’d be getting your fingers under Chrysalis’s shirt, but now…

“Uhh…”

All you can do is stand there and think about things.

“You know uh…maybe…not now, you know?”

Excuses, excuses!

“I mean it’s damp in here and this rock looks hard…”

Chrysalis cocks and eyebrow and rests a hand on her hip. “You are seriously turning me down?”

“I guess I am?”

You were expecting some prickliness but Chrysalis grins at you. “Is this about Eris?”

Shit. Chrysalis was always good at picking this crap…but she confided in you.

“I…guess?” you say rubbing the back of your head.

Chrysalis closes her eyes and chuckles as she walks over to you and puts her hand on your shoulder. “And what about New Years?”

“It’s…not New Years anymore, Chrys. It’s February, stuff’s changed, I guess…”

She pats you. “Right answer.

Oddly enough, then she kisses your cheek. “Don’t let them change too much, Anon. There aren’t enough guys like you in the world.”

“Eh?”

”Trust me, I’ve lived long enough to know that no lost kingdom or fall from grace equals the tragedy of the world losing one more truly nice guy.”

You feel your cheeks get hot.

“Uhh…thanks Chrys.”

She smiles, a warm smile of a good friend at you. “Don’t mention it. Now come on, let’s get back to the club and play our show, I’ve got to talk to Eris anyway…”

You start following her out of the cave.

“You aren’t gonna say anything, are you?”

”No you silly, just a warning.”

“That being?”

”That if she breaks your heart, I’ll snatch you up on the rebound so fast it’ll make her head spin.”

You feel your cheeks get red again as you head out.

Chrys and you get back to the hotel just in time to hear a wooden crack as you exit the elevator from the direction of your rooms.

You scoff. “Why does this only ever happen when we’re OUT!?”

The two of you walk down the hall and find Sombra and Eris standing outside Artemis’s room. Inside the room you could hear Artemis and someone really angry sounding screaming at each other.

”Hell's Bells, WHAT is going on now?”

”Artemis and his sister are having it out.” Sombra answers.

”She’s pretty pissed.” Eris says with a chuckle.

Princess Celestia was here? Princess Celestia could get angry?

”ENOUGH, ARTEMIS!” you heard from behind the door before it swung open. Princess Celestia barreled past the four of you towards the elevator as she stomped down the hall.

You all look at each other and then in the room. “Arty?”

”Are you dead?” Eris queries.

Inside the room, Artemis is kneeling on the floor as he picks up a mannequin head and his iconic Terror helmet. “Hmm? Oh…hello all.”

Chrysalis steps gingerly as she tiptoes through the carnage. Curtains are pulled down, the bed was a mess, and a shattered wooden chair lay in bits on the floor. “What…the HELL happened?” she asked.

Artemis sighs. “Celly and I got into an argument, what did it sound like?”

“Princess Celestia argues?”

”Our family is truly the ones to bring out the worst in us.” Arty says, holding his hands out.

Sombra looks around. “What could you possibly disagree on so badly as to warrant all this?”

Artemis sighs. “She doesn’t want me to wear my mask anymore.”

The room is silent as the four of you all share awkward glances.

”…What?” Artemis asks.

“Well Arts…”

”Is that so bad?” Chrysalis answers.

Artemis looks at each of you before he does that sorta nervous not-believing-you laugh people do.

"Heh…guys, come on, you know why I can’t do that.”

”Nnnnnno we don’t?” Eris says. ”Total loss.” Sombra adds.

Artemis puts his helmet back on the head and rights it on the desk. “How about because I almost ended all life on the planet and that nobody would want to see me up on stage?”

”Uhhh, excuse me?” Chrysalis says. “Because I’m pretty sure that describes everyone here but Anon.”

“I've got a plan and a bomb, I'm just waiting on the skull island lair, by the way.”

Artemis silently adjusts his helmet.

”Artemis?” Sombra asks, putting his hand on Arty’s shoulder.

The prince bristles. “I heard you I just…” He sighs. “No, no I want to wear my helmet. Celestia is just going to have to accept that.” He turns and looks at the four of you. “I’m…gonna go tune up.” He says before vacating the room.

The rest of you stand silently in the ruins of Arty’s bedroom, shaking your heads.

“He’s gonna pop at this rate.”

”The big idiot needs to learn to be himself…” Chrysalis says.

”We should pull his pants down on stage.” Eris replies.

You all look each other in the eye, silently conveying ideas. ”That’s stupid as hell, but we can all agree that we’re getting that helmet off his head sometime tonight, right?” Sombra asks.

“Oh, totally.”

The show was a few hours later. The final note hung in the air. Jizz would leak from the speakers if you lived in a perfect world.

Chrysalis throws a bottle of water into the crowd and turns, walking back to the drumset. Against her thigh she rests two fingers and gives you the signal.

Showtime.

You maneuver yourself around the stage, keeping Night Terror in the corner of your eye as he goes to rouse the crowd. Eris maneuvers behind him, having gotten a similar signal.

You pretend to mess with your dials in the middle of the stage as Terror walks past you, unawares.

Suddenly, Eris uses her child-bearing hips and bumps into Terror. The night lord stumbles a bit off balance and strikes against your outstretched leg, causing him to teeter.

”Gyah!”

The lord of shadows tumbles over your foot and crashes to the stage, his helmet flying off. Chrysalis acts fast and boots the helmet backstage.

As he gets to his feet, Artemis’s illusion begins to fade. His hair becomes less nebulous and his face is revealed from the shadows, cast in horror. His armor melts away to the t-shirt and jeans he had underneath.

Artemis looks up at you all, eyes sunken in as the truth of his betrayal came to light but too petrified to do anything about it. ”Y-you…”

”Sorry Charlie. This just aint your day.”

“You so sure about that?”

You point Artemis to the crowd who was behaving just as you predicted. Thanks to yours and other's efforts, heavy metal music was on the rise the world over, but it was still ostracized by many conservative elements. The fans of heavy metal were almost tribal in nature, a tribe of outcasts. Having felt thrown out of regular society, they banded together to make something new, and they always strived for legitimacy beyond the stereotypes of hoodlums and troublemakers, something that having a band full of legitimate villains didn’t help.

But this was their Prince, not only a public figure but the second biggest one you could get. And not only was he a fan, but he was contributing, legitimizing everything all these fans needed to hear.

To say they were deafening was an understatement.

”What…but how…?”

”They like you, you big lummox!” Chrysalis says as she hoists him up.

”Look out there.” Chrysalis points Artemis towards the crowd. “Out there is almost two thousand fans who you just made’s night. They’re never gonna forget this.”

”But…my reputation…they weren’t supposed to know.”

You roll your eyes and grab a mic. “Who here is HONESTLY surprised that Night Terror Nebula turned out to actually be Prince Artemis in disguise?”

The fans fall silent for a moment before they all laugh at the response.

You walk back to a red cheeked Arty.

“Now get the fuck up there and SAY something!”

You and Chrysalis push Artemis to the mic. ”Hey!” he cries before he realizes where he is. You hear him gulp to the mic as he grabs it. “Heeeeeeeeey.” He starts, walking with his guitar around his neck.

He gets a wave of cheers. Luckily, he also starts to loosen up. ”So, it sounds like my bandmates got tired of me being cooler than they were.”

The crowd responds again and the rest of you flip Artemis off.

”Of course they could have done so a bit more eloquently.”

You flip him off with both hands.

”So…what to do now that I have the mic.”

Oh shit. You grab your mic.

“Arty.”

”I could-“

“Arty.”

”Maybe-“

“ARTY.”

”WHAT Anonymous?”

Banter was important for the crowd.

“Yer a faggot if you don’t sing track 8 for us.”

Chrysalis gasps and claps behind you, running to your spare synth.

”Oh they don’t want to hear that.” Artemis teases.

“Fuck you, yes they do.”

Arty looks out over the crowd. “You wanna hear what I have to sing?” A roar of affirmatives was his response.

You strum some test notes as everyone takes position. Artemis smiles his first smile of the night. “Let’s see if I can remember all the words….ONE TWO THREE HIT IT!”
Music

-Later-

Eris and you mill around the stage after the venue had cleared out. Most of the time you’d all go out drinking, but this was Arty’s night and his sister had basically whisked him and Chrysalis away, Sombra had followed. Probably to try and fuck her.

You were both fine with letting them go, there was treasure hunting to do.

”Ha! Got a wallet!”

“What’ve we got this time, Eri-bear?”

”Looooks like Allen Jefferson from Plainsville.”

“He looks like the most boring man in the universe.”

Comb overs? Seriously?

“Prolly…”

Eris reaches back and tosses the wallet into a box you’d give to the venue owner later, you continue to look around for more loot that got dropped during the show, sweaters and unopened beers and the like, maybe a phone to leave a prank message on.

You also take the time to do something really stupid.

“So Chrys propositioned me earlier.”

Stupid mouth!

You don’t see Eris’s response. “Oh yeah? Any good? She do that thing where she bends over backwards?”

You rub the back of your head and look back at her. “I uh…didn’t take her up.”

Eris looks at you with her eyebrows up, honestly surprised. “You’ve seen her, right? Why not?”

Oh just say it, you fucking pussy.

“I uh…think I insinuated that we were together.”

Eris remains quiet for a moment, looking you in the eye. “…Because of New Years and all that stuff after, right?”

You shrug. “I guess? I mean you’re pretty hot and we’ve always been cool. I dunno, I just like being around you.”

Eris looks down at her shoes as she walks over towards you. She’s a bit sorter then you so you try to angle your head down to see her face.

That’s when she lifts her head up and gently presses her lips against yours for a few seconds. ”Cool, me too.” She says smiling.

Hehehe…You feel your cheeks redden again.

“Wanna let the others have their fun? Maybe go rent a shitty movie?”

Eris takes your arm in hers and starts to lead you out of the venue. “If you don't put out, I’m breaking up with you.”

“Great motivation, Eris…”