Anonymous and a band of misunderstood misfits set out to change the world through the power of music. Or get laid, whichever comes first.
Living life is hard, especially when you're a recently reformed supervillain with no prospects, no money, and nothing but a lot of pent up energy and anger. So what do you do? Start a heavy metal band, of course. The music may be said to split the earth and raise the dead, but it's better than the crap on the radio these days.
Oh, heads up, this is a humanized story. Also I rule 63'd Discord and Luna in this story because it's more interesting. If that makes you sperg out, oops.
You sit on the couch backstage noodling your guitar, letting your fingers glide between the strings and relishing the little vibrations you could feel through them.
”Where’d you come up with that tune?”
“Thought it up while I was taking a dump.”
The two of you were in some dive down near Fillydelphia, a club your "manager" had scored you a gig at on Saturday and you'd rushed down on Sunday.
Arty long told you guys to stop asking him what the deal with the names was, though.
Artemis grabs his guitar and joins your noodling, getting a feel for the song, this could turn into something you play one day. ”You got hit by that pancake house too, huh?”
“Dude it was so bad, close that place down.”
”That’d be an abuse of power, a prince can’t be seen doing that.”
“Yeah because he totally doesn’t use it to score scratch.”
”I don’t know what the stage persona Night Terror Nebula has to do with me, Anonymous.” he says.
“Suuuure.”
You look over at Arty and give him your incredulous look, smirks back at you and sticks his tongue out.
“Move your damnhair, you look like a faggot.”
”People love this hairstyle, bite me.”
“Your hair sucks and you play rhythm guitar like a shitter.”
”I’ll throw you in jail, dude. Don’t test the Night Prince.”
“Do it queer, I’ll come out harder than diamonds, like Cerberus.”
”Cerberus wasn’t in jail idiot, he guarded one.”
“Same fucking difference.”
Arty slaps your picking hand. ”Tartarus is ten times more hardcore than normal prison.”
“Gah, dick. It’s probably more hardcore than the moon too.”
”Feh."
"Don't get your underpants in a bunch, Arty."
”Wait you guys are wearing underpants?” someone behind you asks.
You and Arty look at each other before looking back at the bass player laying on a box.
“Eris during the show tonight keep your swamp-ass ass away from me.”
”Yeah, and then get some cotton underwear.”
”Someone call the guard, I’m being harassed!” she cries.
Pfft. Bitch. She’s lucky she was cool.
A grunt from the room next door turns all your attentions to the sound of a flushing toilet. The door barrels open and a mountain of muscle in an undershirt and combat boots ducks under the door frame walks out.
”Do NOT go in there.”
The smell hits you all at once, causing you and Artemis to recoil.
“Saints alive, Sombra! Light a match!”
”I think you singed my nose hairs!”
”I kinda like it.”
“Shut the fuck up, Eris.” you say.
”What did you EAT, man!?” Artemis asks.
Sombra tosses a lit match into the sink and shuts the door, walking over and grabbing a pair of sticks from a box behind you. “Ten pancakes, a plate of bacon, two bagles and some mints. Drumming takes it out of you.”
“Holy-, ten pancakes from that place? You want to check in there to make sure you didn’t shit out your intestines?”
”Eat my asshole, ya wimp.”
”If the war crime you just committed on that poor toilet is any indicator, only one going near your ass any time soon is Eri.”
Sombra looks over at her. “How about it? I got time for a quickie before the show.”
Eris looks over at him. “Tossing salads is gross, Somb…”
“Deniiiiiied.”
Artemis makes a blimp shape with his hand and adds sound effects as he makes it crash and burn into the couch. ”No survivors.”
The door on the other side of the green room opens up and your manager/lead vocalist heads in.
”Okay so you guys aren’t going to believe this bullshit.”
Artemis groans and Sombra throws his hands up in the air. “Don’t tell me, they’re stiffing us.”
”You got no idea.” Chrysalis says.
”Three hundred?” Artemis asks.
Chrysalis grabs her leather jacket off a chair and points her thumb down.
“-Two-?” you ask.
”Try One-fifty, and a free breakfast at the bar.”
The band collectively groans. Playing with four people who used to have their own kingdoms wasn’t as financially fruitful as one would expect. Everyone here who’d been worth something at some time was now worth about just as much as the clothes on their back or the dive they were crashing in, penance for being one-time enemies of the crown.
Everyone save Arty of course, for all the good that poorly kept secret did.
”Tirek wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit.” Artemis grunts.
”-We- wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit if you’d stop fucking around and let us use some of that allowance, Prince.” Sombra says.
”It might be easy to say that when all you have to do is be a musclebound hobo, but I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
”If you’re that afraid to ask your sister for a raise, let me do it.” Sombra says.
Artemis shoots him a glare. “Sombra, don’t try and fuck my sister.”
”Yeah, not before I do.” Chrysalis says.
”Man, screw you guys.”
“Yeah screw you guys, we need a solution, not an idea how to screw Arty’s sister, which comes later.”
”I got an idea.” Eris says.
All of you look back as Eris rises off her box and plays out some notes. ”We could just shut up and go play and have a good time, it’s not like we really give a crap.”
That hangs in the air for a spell, each of you mulling it over.
“…Everyone who gives a crap?”
You don’t get a response, but see Sombra weighing options in his head.
“Everyone who doesn’t? I don’t really give a crap.”
”I misplaced all my giving crap tonight.” Chrysalis says.
”Nope.” Artemis replies.
”I –almost- give a crap but not enough to really, you know, do something about it.” Sombra answers.
You nod, stroking your chin. A band that doesn’t give a shit was probably good for the image. “Hell with it?”
Chrysalis raises a cider can. “Hell with it!”
”Hhhhhhhell with it”
”Hell with it, let’s go play.”
The band springs into motion then. Gone was the banter, replaced with instead a unified effort to get on stage.
”Has anyone seen my spare mic?” Chrys asks.
“Over by the chicken wings, where is my tie?”
”Here Anon.” Eris says, handing it off to you. “Why do you wear that stupid suit, anyway?”
“Makes me look cooler.”
You tie your tie, clip your cufflinks, and pull down the special mask you had made; a green cover all with a question mark in the middle to go with your name.
If you ever made it big, you wanted to be able to go to the store and not get mobbed.
Sombra laces up his shoes, Eris ties back her hair, and Artemis puts on his helmet and becomes cloaked in twilight. “What are we opening with tonight?” he asks.
”What do we –always- open with, Arty?” Chrysalis answers.
The five of you silently shuffle out onto the dark stage at the venue, a club in the middle of nowhere. Big enough to attract a crowd yet small enough that the manager could stiff you and not catch hell. Turnout was, as per normal, weirdly higher than expected. A couple hundred people stood in the pit sipping drinks and chatting amongst themselves. It had been like that for a while now, people attracting to your music through word of mouth even though barely any radio would play you. Some chalked it up to the cults of personality your bandmates had or the kingdom finally growing past the “lovey dovey cutesy” pop crap that had held it for centuries, others to dark forces warping the minds of the impressionable.
You personally just knew you could carry a beat.
Each of you sound checks and gives your okays to the others, signaling Chrysalis to snap her fingers and cast her illusionary spell, your bands biggest advantage over the competition.
Still in shadow, Chrysalis holds the mic to her mouth.
”This here is a song about why bad people do bad things.”
Sharp strums on your strings coupled with Sombra’s smashing the –shit- out of those heads mixes with Eris’ smooth plucking of her strings and, most importantly, Chrysalis’ magic. Magic lights timed with the notes spring up around the crowds feet, forming a dense illusory forest.
Figures are added as you take lead and Arty keep the rhythm. A small girl with green hair being lead through the forest by a near-goose-stepping older and much taller woman. They were walking through the forest, but their image remained stationary in the midst of the crowd. Eyes glowing, Chrysalis claps ahead at the front of the band on a 4/4 rhythm, the crowd reciprocating and either clapping or stomping their feet in rhythm.
You take a deep breath and let that energy in, this was why you played. There was no feeling in the world like a crowd like this. You slide your hand up the neck of your guitar on queue and begin your tapping bridge. Aligned with your playing, the taller woman raises her transparent hand and casts a spell, covering the venue in a magical winter.
You drag the notes after the winter out and drink in the cheers of the crowd.
Looking back, Arty gives you a nod, which you give to Sombra. A two count on the cymbals and you both start the heavy pumping rhythm that makes the backbone of the song.
Once Sombra hits the cymbal again, the forest scatters away in a cloud of lights, leaving only the little girl to fall to her knees and sob. Chrysalis takes center stage and bangs her head to Sombra’s drumming, you and Arty spread out and mingle with the crowd.
”My mother was a witch…she was burned alive…”
Stomping your foot along to the rhythm, you let yourself go and prepare this crowd for the best night you could give them.
Life in a rock band was draining both on and offstage, so you relished the sleep you could get when you could.
When you weren’t being smacked, that is.
”Get up, get up, get up, get up!” someone cries.
You groan and wince and roll away from the source of the smacking as you come to. “Hanh? Whu? Whut’s the problem?”
You roll over bare-assed to the girl smacking you.
“Oh…hey there babe it was…uh…”
Come on, you know this.
“…Flitter! Yes, Flitter.”
”You can’t be here right now, okay? You need to go right now.”
Pffffffffft.
“Nah nah! Let’s stay in!” You sit up and blink a few times. “I make a mean eggs and bacon, come on, my treat.”
You weren’t good for much else in the mornings.
Flitter throws your shirt and pants at you and puts her own top on. ”No, see, my boyfriend is on his way over so that means you need to leave!”
Leave? You’re still waking up.
“I don’t remember anything last night about a boyfriend.”
Flitter dashes off the bed and opens the window. “Yes! Well, the schnaps will do that.”
Oh so that’s what that taste was.
”Come on, up and at ‘em!” she says, pulling you off the bed to your feet.
“Ah well he can come, I’ll set the table.”
You heard someone banging on a door at the front of the house. “Yo, Flitter! You up?”
You snap your fingers and smile with one foot out the window.
“See? I was right, he said Flitter.”
Flitter laughs which lets you get in close and plant one on her while you both ignore the pounding on the door. Once your other leg is out the window you leave Flitter to her boyfriend and haul it into the tree line where you can put on your pants.
An hour or so later, you’re walking down the road in town looking out for The White Bell. After-shows always had a habit of splitting the band up for their own adventures so you’d come up with the idea to all meet at a local pub once you all regained consciousness a long time ago.
You head inside and find Sombra lounging at a table while Chrysalis sits behind him off in her own world with a guitar.
”Salutations, Anonymous.” He says, raising his glass.
“Hey Sombra.”
You head over and take a seat next to him. “Where are the others?”
”Artemis is spending time with his sister and Eris is off getting groceries for this week.”
You nod and grab a beer out of the box.
“What was her name this time?” Sombra asks.
“Flitter. And you’re one to talk.”
”I wasn’t scolding you, I was asking so I could find out who to avoid.” He takes a sip of his beverage. “Anyone who’d invite you into her home clearly has something wrong with her.”
“Douche.”
”Cry more, Anon.”
You point back to Chrysalis, eyes closed and head down as she plays a complex rhythm. “What’s she up to?”
”Composing. There wasn’t a spare room.”
Old adaptable Chrys.
You look around the bar and find it empty save one dude in a trenchcoat drinking at this hour.
“…What –day- is it?”
Sombra looks the same way you are and is quiet for a moment. “…Wednesday?”
You nod. “Explains this place…”
On queue to prove you wrong, two young boys run into the pub and ask the barkeep for two sodas.
You feel Sombra roll his eyes next to you. ”Little boys should be in class.” He says.
One of them looks over his shoulder back at you two. “Old dead kings should be under glaciers.”
“Ooooohhhhhh.” You snicker.
Sombra just snarls and drinks his beer again. “Kids these days, no respect.”
“Ignore my friend here, he’s bitter.”
The two kids walk over to you drinking their sodas.
“What’re you two doing here?”
”Skippin’ class.”
You nod.
”You gonna tell?” they ask.
You feel Sombra bristle a bit but speak first.
“No? I aint a truant officer, you’re not my problem.”
The two look down at your gear in boxes around the table. “What are ya, then?”
“We’re in a band.”
”Like a marching band?”
”Like a heavy metal band.” Sombra says.
The two boys look at each other. “My mom says that heavy metal was evil music that got banned for a reason.”
Oh lord, this again.
You wave your hand. “That’s all crap and lies, no one tells the real story these days.”
”Weeeell what’s that?” the one asks.
You lean back and think. Technically it might be against crown orders to tell this…but you have a prince in your pocket. You look to Sombra and shrug, getting one in return.
…Fuck it.
“Chrys, some ambience music please? I’m gonna tell these boys the history of our craft.”
Chrysalis plucks at the strings on your spare guitar as you lean forward to regale the youths.
“In the beginning…there was The Wasteland, a land of dull and rock and scrub. Wandering these wastes were two Immortals, Tirek and Grogar.”
One of the boys smacks the other on the arm. “I know those names!”
You nod. “A-huh, the big buys themselves. Tirek and Grogar wandered the Wasteland since time immemorial.”
”Some say they saw the slaying of the God of Fear in the primordial world.” Sombra chimes in.
“Tirek and Grogar once grew tired of the dullness of their world and challenged one another to a contest.”
”What kinda contest?”
Sombra leans forward like you. “The only contests beings like them could have, a contest of metal.”
”Tirek reached deep into the earth and fashioned a might axe, with twenty strings and three necks and a sick whammy bar. He played a song so righteous that his chords cracked the ground, and his screams echoed around the world.”
The two boys eyes widen and the nod.
”But Grogar was a crafty one.” Sombra says. “And Tirek gave him an opening. He sung his litany and let it seep into the cracks and trenches Tirek’s music had dug, until it reached the ears of the dead things insde, under the ground. Grogar’s dirge was so powerful that it reanimated the bones of the beasts and beings who had fallen in the Wasteland in the past, the Manticores and Chimeras and some say even traces of Smooze and dragged them to the surface where they joined in their master’s terrible wailing chorus.”
“The louder Tirek played, the louder Grogar and his hoard wailed, until not a living thing on the planet could not hear them. So great was their fury and so majestic their sound, that the energy being released by their battle tore open a hole in the world so deep that it shook the planet itself.”
The boys look at you in anticipation.
“…You call that hole, The Breach.”
”No way!” they exclaim. ”What happened next, mister?”
You nod and sip your beer.
“The primitive races of the world, seeking to save themselves from the clashing titans, banded together and raised an army a million strong to attempt to defeat the two while their battle raged.”
You make slashing motions with your arms. “They cut through the army of skeletons and reached Grogar first, where six of their strongest mages did battle with him for six days and six nights, eventually driving Grogar into one of the canyons Tirek had carved.”
”When Grogar was at the bottom of the canyon, the remainder of the army began to throw the bones of Grogar’s minions down with their master, burying him up to the horns on his head, which Grogar considered a symbol of his power, which Tirek hacked off with his mighty axe. Weakened and having lost the battle, the six mages harmonized themselves and banished Grogar from life. He was now as dead as it was possible to be, not even trapped in some other realm.”
The boys gush again. “Six! Just like-“
”No way, you think?”
”It’s gotta be the elements, it’s gotta!”
You wave your hands “Hold up little guys, not done yet.”
They both shut the hell up and give you their now undivided attention.
“Tirek, his task done, looked around at the world that had been ravaged by his power and allowed a single nuclear tear to fall from his face.”
”That tear fell into through the world through the hole Tirek and Grogar’s battle had caused until it settled near the other side and began emanating the mourning God’s power, filling the new cracks in the world with a fraction of it and forming the magical leylines that grip the earth today.” Sombra says.
“Tirek had never wanted his power, his metal, to destroy but empower. So it was with a heavy heart that he surrendered to the primeval races. The primeval races were worthy of Tirek’s trust and show leniency for his peaceful surrender, together with Tirek they locked him away behind the gates of Tartarus where he would remain until the world was recovered enough to endure his presence again, guarded by the beast Cerberus.”
”But then…” Sombra says.
”Then what?” the boys ask.
“The creatures above had not seen Tirek’s sacrifice, only experienced his metal, noise, and fire. They feared the results of more of this music that had nearly shattered their world and so they forbid it from being played, taught, or spoken of lest it bring another calamity. Instead they fostered a new kind of…” Sombra gulps down disgust. “music” that would be the antithesis of Tirek and Grogar’s metal. Saccharine songs as far from that power as they could be.”
”Is that why I have to take Spontaneous Song and Dance classes?” one boy asks.
”The very reason, boy.”
You lean back and put your hands behind your head. “And now you know the secret history of metal…never gonna hear that in any book.”
”If metal was banned, where did you guys learn it?”
You nod, that was a decent question. “Tirek is below us, in Tartarus, but his words can echo through the cracks in the ground and sometimes reach the surface where they become hieroglyphics. That’s where the first ones learned it.”
”Not me.” Sombra says.
You blink twice.
”I studied Grogar’s books in Tambelon like I’m supposed to.”
“YeswellgoodforyouSombra.” You snap out.
Sombra smirks and the boys still smile.
“So what now, dudes? Not a lot of people know this info.”
The two boys look at each other, eyes wide with excitement. ”Let’s go break your piggy bank and buy a guitar!” one cries.
”Yeah!” the other returns.
The two boys turn on their heels and haul ass out of the pub down the street.
Sombra chuckles next to you. “Well Anon we made two bright young stars quit their studies to become rock stars.”
“Sounds like just another day for Evil King Sombra and his friend from another reality.”
Sombra chuckles a throaty chuckle and sips his drink while a thought comes to you.
“Shit, who gave Eris the list?”
”Chrysalis, why.”
“Hey Chrys-“
You start reaching your arm back before you stop yourself and retract it. It was best…not to bother her while she was composing.
“Did you tell Eris to get condoms?”
Sombra’s face drops to the floor. “…Think she’ll get them on her own?”
The two of you look at each other for a moment before saying “No.” in unison. You and Sombra rise to your feet and grab your coats and beer to go prevent any bastard children from ruining your tour, leaving Chrysalis in her zone to compose her next lyrical masterpiece.
You and Eris play your instruments and set Chrysalis up for the last verses of the last song in your set in the Fillydelphian venue. The Changeling Queen pushes aside the pulsing lights she’d conjured over the rambunctious crowd and straddles her microphone.
”When we started this band, all we needed, needed was a laugh…times gone by, I’d say we’ve kicked some ass.”
She looks back at you and grins, she could be rather warm when she wanted to. The four of you raise your instruments and slam out the rest of the cords to lyrics Chrysalis wrote down…what, three days ago? Something like that.
You and Arty go to the mics on stage to provide backing for Chrysalis as the pulsating lights return and drive the crowd into a new uproarious frenzy.
Chrysalis turns back to you. “Okay boys let’s rock the house!”
You and Arty lift your guitars over your heads and lead the band in playing the last, explosive finisher of the song loud enough to shake the roof. You speak into the tube hanging from your mouth and sing the final lyrics in a robotic tone before slamming down the last note as Chrysalis’s pulsating orbs explode.
“Ptew. Nasty.”
You hook the talk-box tube on your shoulder and walk to the front of the stage, waving at the cheering crowd and flicking spare picks their way. Chrysalis stands on top of a speaker raising her arms and drinking in the praise and literal love of the crowd, blowing exaggerated kisses to them.
”Yes. Thank you! Thank you! Glad you liked the show. Yes, thank you very much.”
She hops down and offers a wave as she starts backstage, Sombra and Eris had already slinked away. “Goodnight! And gods bless!”
You quickly follow Chrysalis back off stage so the next band in the docket can take over, from there it’s all business. “Huey! Yo Huey, where you at?”
Ahuizotl was your roadie, the best in the business if he lived up to his own hype. He could fix, obtain, and scrounge up, and sweet talk just about anyone or anything. Some said he was so good that he had to have an extra arm hidden somewhere. He hailed from some tropical locale down south and had just as checkered a past as the rest of you, apparently with some legal action with some writer.
The tanned roadie walks comes around the corner with Eris’ bass on his back already. “Here Anonymous, you know my name, say it right.”
“No, I know how your name is SPELLED but I can’t pronounce it, it’s different.”
Huey rolls his yellow eyes and takes yours and Arty’s guitars off to a quiet spot to retune them. He liked to work alone, said you could hardly ever trust hired help.
You step into the green room while the next band starts their set and catch Chrysalis wiping away “eyeliner” and applying “lipstick” in the mirror. You sigh. Her changing the color of her skin to save on real makeup was weird, it made you wonder if she was actually wearing clothes or if she was wearing woven hair.
“Show’s over Chrys, you can stop whoring yourself up.”
”Very funny coming from the man still wearing the mask.”
Gah shit. You reach up and roll the mask off yourself.
“You know I barely feel it these days.”
”We all barely feel it with you, Anon.”
You wince. “That hurts me.”
Chrysalis gives you an incredulous look as she settles on the right shade of green for her lips. “Hon, you walked right into it.”
Not technically untrue.
“So who is it this time?”
Chrysalis grins and pushes her corset up in the mirror. “Remember the reggae-funk band that played before us?”
“The ones with the tone deaf singer? I remember.”
”Well I caught their drummer making eyes at me during our set, I would wager it can’t hurt to network, get to know the other bands on the circuit…”
“Really? Jet Set Dredlocks out there?”
”You’re one to talk.”
“No, I was just warning you against the dangers of lockjaw.”
”SO kind of you.”
Chrysalis moves a single hair into place and looks at you, frowning. ”Am I pretty?”
“Were I not your close friend and a gentleman of unparalleled statue, I would whisk you away and have my way with you.”
”Cuz I’m pretty?”
“Cuz you’re pretty.”
”That didn’t stop you in Las Pegasus.”
Fucking-
“Okay then I’m tired after the show and THAT’s why.”
Chrysalis kisses your cheek like a mother would. “Always so honest, you make us old-hens so proud.”
“Go blow your drummer.”
Bidding Chrysalis farewell, you turn to head down the hall to the front of the club. You’re quickly pushed to one side by Sombra’s hulking mass as he carries two giggling women on his shoulders like bags of wheat to the mill. You let him pass and look down the hall where he came from, Arty and Eris are there.
“Buncha goddamn sex perverts in the band, I swear!”
”It’s because he doesn’t wear a shirt.” Eris says.
“No shit.”
You walk over and join them, grabbing your cold weather coat from the rack.
“What’re you two up to.”
Arty leans against a wall. “Waiting for-ah, there! My good man!” he says raising an arm.
Artemis, well, technically Night-Terror since he still had that retarded helmet on, even if the magic he used to conceal his face wasn’t dispelled and you could see his stupid haircut, walked over to a guy carrying a clipboard.
”Set’s done, crowd entertained, any chance we can get our pay and get out of your hair for the night?”
This used to be where you’d pray the club owner wouldn’t skimp you with nothing but kind words and a pistol, but running with the posse you ran with carried certain intimidating benefits.
”Pay’s coming out of the take tonight, meet back here after all the bands are done and we’ll talk cash.” He says.
The manager grabs a pen and scribbles on his clipboard. “Which ones were you?”
“Mystik Spyral, but we’re thinking about changing the name.”
Yeah you’d been thinking about that for the last six months. The manager scribbles that down and nods to you, walking away. Artemis sighs and removes his helmet. “I’m starved, how much do you two have on you?”
You stick your hand in your pockets and feel for coins.
“So what can we buy with thirty-nine bits for all of us?”
An awkward moment passes between band-members.
”Let’s go buy ice cream until we puke.” Eris says.
Brilliance.
A few minutes later the three of you are walking down the street. Actually you and Arty are walking on the street, Eris is balancing with her arms out as she walks along a stone wall and argues with you.
”You’re Wrong, Anon! Stupid Donkey Blues music isn’t crap to us!”
“Eris the influence of classical music is –I’m sure- impossible to understate but it’s not heavy metal’s next-door neighbor! There’s shit in-between on the scale both in hardness and chronology! Arty, back me up!”
Artemis puts his hands up. “I was with Eri for many magical years, I did my time, you can’t make me go back.”
Eris sticks her snake-y tongue out at Artemis and turns back to you. “Nuh-uh! They went from playing classical to playing the music that’s out there now! I was there, I know!”
“Eris, what did you have for breakfast today?”
Eris stops walking and scratches her chin. “T…ennis balls?”
“You had pepperoni and pickles, the same thing you have every week, your memory sucks.”
Eris exhales into her hand and sniffs it. “That explains that…”
The Chaos-bassist starts walking again but pauses a little bit further down the wall, turning sideways, bending down, and grabbing a poster off the wall.
You’d ask how she saw it, but the answer would just be “It’s Chaos, I don’t have to explain it” again.
”Guys! Check this out!”
You and Artemis head over and look at the poster Eris floats down with. It’s pink, like lots of shit, with lightning bolts and v-guitars in cartoony style around the edges. And hearts. Always the fucking hearts.
”Do you have what it takes to be a rock legend?” it asks. “Canterlot Musical Society is holding a battle of the bands! Gather your friends, your best licks, and your most rocking ballads and show us what you’re made of!”
”Ew, ballads…” Eris says.
“Arty your sister has GOT to get a better print ad designer.”
”Royalty are slaves to their subjects, you’ve known me long enough to know that.”
”Still this is cool!”
Eris bounces a bit in excitement and doesn’t suffer the effects of gravity, now hovering a few feet off the ground and reclining. “We can beat these pussies and make more than thirty-nine bits at the same time! You know what that means!”
Holy shit, you did!
”We can put it into the band and get better equipment!” Artemis says.
“We can make Arty have to accept an award from his own sister!”
Eris pumps her arms. “We can get even MORE ice-cream!”
“Okay, band huddle.” You pull the two of them in. “New plan: We go back to the hotel, pull Chrys and Sombra off whomever they have in their, tell them about this and get ready to blow these other bands the fuck OUT.”
Artemis and Eris both stare through you. ”That’s a terrible idea, Anon.” she says.
“Uhg. Fine. We go eat the ice cream, digest while they end up siring heirs we have to deal with later, THEN do all that other stuff, agreed?”
Artemis nods. “I’m not dealing with them getting blueballed.”
”I like the one with the ice cream.”
Whatever, that works, at least it was a plan. You walk past them and lead down the street, stuffing the flier in your coat pocket along the way.
You and the rest of the band were sitting in the hall of the Canterlot Musical Society listening to a little trio play what was the heaviest song you’d heard all night, and even that was giving you cavities. Looking around you see Sombra yawning in his seat and Eris nibbling on French fries, the crowd beyond them was responsive…sort of, but you had the nagging feeling that a lot more could be coaxed out of them.
“This is gonna be a bloodbath…”
”Don’t write us a check just yet.”
You turn your head the other way. “Why’s that, Chrys?”
She twirls her hair in her finger. “The rules say no magic in the first set, meaning if the crowd is “less than receiving” we won’t be able to use our crutch.”
You sip your drink. “So cynical.”
”I am not losing to a band called “The Dazzlings”, Anon.”
Fair enough.
”I’ve one idea.” Artemis says past her.
Chrysalis turns her head quizzically.
”The dress song.” he says.
Chrysalis now rolls her eyes.
”Sex sells, you know it better than anyone.”
”Anything to get me on a pole again, dear Arty?”
“Wait, again?”
”Don’t ask.” She says.
"But I want to."
Artemis chuckles.
An aide comes to your table. “Uh…Mystik Spiral?”
“That’s us.” you say.
You had to change that…
”You’re up next.” He says.
All eyes turn to Chrysalis. ”Well Chryssy? Are you down?” Artemis asks.
The Changeling Queen sighs and grabs a napkin and pen from her pocket. “We’ll be ready.” She tells the aide.
He walks off and Chrysalis beckons you all closer. “Come on, come on. Let us try and teach you this song before we go on stage and make asses of ourselves.”
She begins writing down notes on the napkin and inwardly you thank yourself you learned to read sheet music.
The minute the Dazzlings exit stage left, you’re hurried in through stage right. You all quickly take your positions and sound check, emanating a low feedback hum through the hall and earning you some preemptive cheers.
“Hello hello, we are Mystik Spiral but uh…we’re probably gonna change that name. Keep an ear out for us next time you’re at a show and you just mi-“
”Anonymous shut the hell up, these people didn’t come to hear you flap your gums.” Terror says.
You look offended, this was important. Good band banter could carry an audience through a song they might not like, and it also would give anyone moments to rest in between songs if anyone was flagging.
You cover your mouth with your hand to imitate Terror’s echo of his helmet. “You’d prefer instead they came here to hear your life story, Night Terror? Tell me, was getting trapped in the moon part of your plan?”
”Are you two going to go down on each other here or are you going to play for these people.”
You and Terror look at each other, he gives you the signal.
”Fuck you.” You both say in unison
”I can do better~” Chrysalis says, winking at the audience.
Some guy in the back catcalls up to her.
Terror turns his volume up. “Fine, you want songs, we’ll give you songs. Do something else with your ass besides get it spanked and keep up. Sombra, get ready to hit it.”
Sombra’s face lights up and he SLAMS out a four-count, ready to raise hell.
“Not that hard, big guy.”
Sombra rolls his eyes and starts a much lighter four-count.
Sombra chirps away on the high-hat while you, Terror, and Eris start a steady and quick rhythm. Chrysalis presents her side to the audience and begins gyrating her body back and forth like a snake. Suddenly every guy in the audience and about five percent of the women were eyes front in rapt attention.
Chrysalis truly was a renaissance woman. Singing, playing, writing lyrics, and shaking her voluptuous ass. You bang your head as you play and Sombra slams out on the drums behind you as the song picks up and Terror sings.
”I met her in the chaos in the horde of the bizarre…immaculate and lucid in a smoky crowded bar…”
Chrysalis hops off the stage and strides along the dividers, caressing her hands along the faces of some of the dancers and fans near the front and getting them further into the palm of her hand. You head away from the front of the stage and continue jamming out the riffs Terror helped you learn not twenty minutes ago in the company of Eris and Sombra. This was clearly Chrysalis and less-so Terror’s show, best to let them have front stage.
”Through the seas of lights and glimmer, she’s a savage, she’s a shark.” Terror continues as Chrysalis climbs back up on stage and sheds her denim jacket for the noticeably thinner t-shirt underneath. She hangs the jacket over her shoulder while she prances around Terror, tracing her finger across his torso.
Chrysalis pecks Terror on the cheek and from here you can almost see Terror stumble, instead you just catch him smiling and chuckling under his helmet.
Chrysalis balls up and tosses her jacket into the crowd during the momentary breakdown of the song, hopping off the fence and then hopping the dividers at just the right time to- Terror ends the breakdown with a retching scream, thus begins the final heavy chorus.
Chrysalis clears the dividers and drags two onlookers away and begins dancing. From there it’s only seconds before everyone surrounding her is, then over half the floor.
You’d seen a DJ make a club explode like this, but this was certainly a new turnout for one of your shows.
The song ends on a high note, your reverb filling the hall as Terror takes to the mic to speak over the applause. “Thank you, thank you. And thanks to our good friend Chryssy for displaying her only talent she can show in public for us, round of applause.”
Chrysalis casually flips off Terror before taking his offered hand and getting back onto the stage. She grabs the mic.
”Anything for the fans, Terrance.”
“She means that, too, you guys.” you say.
Eris and Sombra chuckle behind you.
Stage left, you see the manager tapping his watch. You nudge Terror and make sure he sees it too.
”Set your watches, we’ll be back before you know it.” he says.
You lead the band offstage, Chrysalis going off last as she blows kisses to her adoring public.
“Yeah…” you agree. “But listen to it, it’s not exactly awesome.”
”It’s the principle of the matter, Anon.”
“When do you stand on principle?”
”When something gets stolen from me five minutes after I show I have it.”
You lean back and look Chrysalis over.
“Anyone with eyes can see you “have it” Chrys.”
”Shut up.”
One of the Dazzlings, the one with the orange hair, sits down on the front of the stage near the dividers and plays her guitar, singing serenades to the lucky few in the front. The fans eat it up and practically fall over the dividers reaching for her.
”Bloody sirens.” You hear Artemis say behind you.
“We need something to break the crowd out of that and we need it fast.”
”I got a song.” The four of you turn around, Eris is standing behind you all with her hands behind her back.
“You wrote a song?”
”Yeah, a while ago.” She looks to Chrysalis. “I need you to help me do vocals.”
Eris digs into her pockets and produces two crumpled pieces of paper, one she hands to you, Artemis, and Sombra and the other she hands to Chrysalis.
The tree of you look it over and scratch your heads. The beat was…unorthodox.
Chrysalis was faring no better. “Eris, dear…what language is this?”
”Chaos.”
The five of you shuffle onto the stage and take positions at your instruments ten minutes after The Dazzlings were pulled off, hopefully enough time to lessen the effects of their wiles.
Eris walks up to the center mic and taps it twice. The tapping and whining of the mic gets the crowd’s attention and makes them silent.
”Uh, hey. I’m Eris…lotta you probably knew that already, whatever.” Eris plucks her low string a few times and points to her right to the other mic. ”This little piece I know y’all remember, she’s gonna help me sing this song I wrote a while ago by hitting the notes I can’t.”
Chrysalis snaps her fingers and two illusions form over the heads of blocky, simple, rudimentary humans. One orange, the other purple.
”Don’t listen to this song…just –feel- it.” Eris says.
Chrysalis and Eris begin a duet of…some sort of nonsense you can’t understand over your short choppy chords. The illusions spring to life as well, the orange one pointing at the purple one and issuing a challenge. The tailed purple humanoid crosses its arms and throws its head back laughing, accepting it. The pace of the song picks up and both illusions hunker down, glowing like the sun in powerful auras and growing in size.
The break comes and you and Terror drop your heads and spin your hair around windmill style. The illusions fly through the air and charge at one another, throwing incorporeal punches and kicks at mind-boggling speed. The figures break away from each other and fly around the room, throwing balls of light at one another which explode into tiny fireworks. Chrysalis and Eris sing in a lighter, calmer harmony while you and Terror pluck along some held notes.
Quickly the tempo changes back to a low and pounding beat and the purple illusion gets behind the orange one, chasing it and throwing firework bombs at it which it just barely dodges. Eris supports her bass on her knee and slaps out a beat, singing the chorus with Chrysalis as the orange man flies around.
The temp becomes heavier and the purple man throws his head back and screams, flashing read and growing in size. The orange figure looks back, Chrysalis lowers her head and lets her hair hang over her face as she sings in a screeching falsetto.
Then came the chorus, you’d never sung about a freezer or whatever it was before.
You were happy the song included a solo, as the lead guitarist you always needed more of those. You kneel down on the stage and bust out some sick-nasty licks while Eris keeps playing, Chrysalis runs over and holds her mic to your guitar.
Above you, the two figures continue to fly around and exchange exploding blows which would shake the roof were they real. Chrysalis screams into her mic as the song ends and Eris picks up after her, standing in a shaft of light from the lamp above in a power stance.
Wow…she looked…wow.
You jump to your feet as the final chorus begins.
Terror heads to the far right Mic and Chrysalis holds hers up to the both of you. She smelled nice. The four of you screaming into them Sombra wailing behind you, the cacophony of fury you were pounding out shattered the glamor’s of the Dazzlings.
Meaning there was a sick-ass mosh pit in front of the stage.
The song winds down the same way it started, with Chrysalis and Eris parroting back nonsensical words to one other. Eris finishes the song by proper her bass up high and slapping out the final notes and making the two fighters explode.
And the crowd goes wild.
Hoots, hollers, and applause emanate up from the masses, along with the two fingered Sign of Tirek they flash in respect.
Four of you wave and toss spare picks and drumsticks to the fans while meanwhile Eris stands on an amp blowing exaggerated kisses to all of them. ”Awww, you like me! You really like me!”
You head over and look up at her, silently tapping your watch and nodding your head backstage.
Eris scoffs and throws up The Horns on both hands before jumping off the amp over the crowd. ”Door! Door! Get me to the door!”
The crowd pushes Eris on her back towards the door, she calls back towards you as you grab her bass. “See you guys at the pancake house!”
You throw your head back and laugh as you head backstage to go rub it in the faces of the other band.
The Canterlot Royal Music Hall pulses to the beat of the drums and strum of Eris’ base. It was of course not planned that you’d be opening your set just you Eris and Sombra, but then again that’s how playing in a band worked.
The theatre was more packed than last time due to the finalist nature of the contest as well as who your competition was. Even Princess Celestia was watching from her private box. That’d been where Arty had to be right now, making appearances before slipping away to get changed. Celestia always supported her little brother's passions. She even, you suspected, slipped you guys’ money when it was running low.
You’d never really been able to figure out why though…
Chrysalis meanwhile was off who-the-fuck-knew where. She got one look at the competition and went off to go make some “special preparations”. You didn’t see her trying to seduce the judges so what they were was beyond you. But whatever, a band technically only needed rhythm and lead to play and you guys had that covered, Eris had also pulled something together to sing for you.
You bob and jump around the stage while you play your solo, showing off to the crowd and getting some claps.
Eris slows you both down and sings into the mic, strumming her bass with the gain as high as it’d go and shaking the earth beneath your feet.
The last verse goes the same as the others, getting cut off suddenly at the end once Eris raises her single gloved hand.
Bam, song done. Crowd cheers. Thanks are given.
”Mwah. Mwah. You all like me! You really like me!” Eris says, waving.
Sombra jerks his head back and gets up from his drums, signaling you. You walk over and put your hand on Eris’ shoulder, signaling the same to her. Then you leave the crowd to find the rest of your bandmates.
You barely get your mask half off before it starts.
Eris’s hands go up to her ears. “Damn Sombra! I know you can hold your breath but sheesh!”
”Chrysalis get your shapely behind out here! We gotta go!” he shouts.
“Eris, have you seen where Huey put my extra masks?”
”Uhh…this way I think Anny.”
You and Eris head off to where the guitars were kept.
Meanwhile Night Terror pokes his un-helmeted head in. “Sombra? Why are you yelling so much?”
”Because Chrysalis has been gone for too damn long doing who-knows-what.”
”Sweet Jumping Jezebels, I was gone ten minutes!” Chrysalis throws open the yellow drapes blocking the door and stomps through. “Why are you yelling so damn loud?! I could hear you downstairs!”
”You vanished for our entire first set! Artemi-
”Hey!”
Sombra rolls his eyes. “NIGHT TERROR has an excuse but we needed you! You’re our frontman!”
“Does this mask make my nose look big?” you ask.
”Nah, I think it’s cute.” Eris says.
“Yeah but you’re supposed to be the cute one in the band, I’m the enigma.”
”Where was I during that band meeting?”
“Asleep on the table.”
”Oh.” She giggles.
Behind you Sombra and Chrysalis were staring daggers at each other. ”Oh my, is this the band we’re up against?”
”Oh hell…” Eris says.
Six girls stood at the other side of the backstage room, all in various costume. You recognized them from the news, the Element Bearers.
They had a band?
Chrysalis’s face falls. “Here come the fun police.”
”Fashion police darling, and I’d like a word with you.” Rarity says.
”Here, tell it to my lawyer.” Chrysalis says while unbuckling her belt.
Terror put his hand on her shoulder. “Hold on now. Someone here has to be on her best behavior in this city since they almost invaded.”
Chrysalis grinds her teeth and buckles her belt.
”Rainbooms? You’re on in three.” An aid says quickly.
Pffft.
“…Rainbooms? Seriously?”
”Better than “Mystik Spyral”.” Rainbow Dash says.
You’re about to go off on her but the bass player steps forward. “Night Terror, Queen Chrysalis, Sombra, even Eris…who let y’all out? Let alone into a band.”
”I’m reformed now!” Eris says.
”I don’t have to answer to you six.”
Sombra just flips them off.
”Tch. Don’t worry.” Rarity says. “With their music they’ll be locked up again post haste.”
”Pffft!” Eris walks over and pokes Rarity’s keytar. “1984 called, they want their lame-ass instrument back. You can take your tacky clothes with you too.”
A fire lights up in the keyboardists eyes but the Great Mediator, Princess Twilight steps forward. Too bad she seemed intent on being a bitch today.
”Rarity isn’t wrong. You all know that music is forbidden. Why, the magical implications of the words alone could-“
Chrysalis stifles a loud yawn and turns around. “Princess, unless it’s to tell me that your brother has stopped by, don’t speak to me.” She says before walking into the green room. ”We have better uses for our time then being around you dolts.” Sombra says following her.
Terror, probably in concern for his alternate identity if it wasn’t already known, wordlessly follows.
Eris backs into the room sticking her tongue out and flipping up both middle fingers.
You awkwardly stand there for a bit before grabbing the complimentary box of doughnuts and following your bandmates.
You and the rest of the band were watching the “Rainbooms” play just offstage.
Opinions varied.
”This song is literally giving me cancer.”
”I wish I were back in the moon.”
”If we lose to this, I’m killing myself. Others may die too.”
And Eris was vomiting rainbows into a garbage pail.
“That’s the problem, it sounds just like the poppy sensations on the radio.”
”You cannot. At all. Tell me that this is the music half my kingdom chose to listen to while I was away. I refuse to believe that.” Terror says.
Using Princess Twilight’s magic, a rainbow blast shoots from the drum kit and hits the chandelier hanging over the crowd, shining the room with a disco-ball of all colors.
“Damn. They have magic too.”
”How’s the crowd taking it?” Sombra asks.
Chrysalis licks two fingers and puts them on her temple while she extends her hand out towards the crowd and closes her eyes.
“…You know we know you don’t have to do that.”
”You also know it won’t stop me from doing it…They’re enjoying it.”
”FUCK!” Eris says from inside the bin.
”But it’s strange…they’re enjoying it because it’s…familiar? Like the tacky sweater grandma makes for your birthday.”
The five of you look out to them as they finish.
”So…these girls are the musical equivalent of old ladies knitting a sweater.” Terror says.
“We can beat that.”
”If we don’t I promise I’ll give you guys a ten second head start before I kill everyone here.”
Eris remains in the garbage pail. ”Go be edgy somewhere else, Sombra.”
Sound check good, you give Chrys a thumbs up. She says “This is a song I wrote about an ex.” Before giving a window cracking scream.
You start the band off with an upward slide. Sombra bringing up right behind you with a thunderous drumbeat of charging horses.
Lights wink above the audience, coalescing into a vivid image of a barren desert with two armored figures, one male and one female leading an army of knights towards a swarm of flying black figures.
You give a small riff as Chrysalis pinwheels her hair around in front of the audience. The audience who jumps to their feet, rushing the barricades.
Paydirt.
Chrysalis begins her first verse. A taller figure walks out of the black swarm and holds up a green glowing hand, while the smaller male armored figure trots forward and reaches out to her, pleading some unheard argument.
Meanwhile, Terror and you weren’t just pretty faces and rippling muscles on stage, it was also your job to sing chorus. The both or you crowd around one mic near the side of the stage.
”SHE IS THE RULER OF THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW…YOU’RE SO PREDICTABLE NOW GIVE HER YOUR SOUL…”
Sombra pounds on the drums and does a four-count on the symbols before exploding out again.
Chrysalis sings the bridge and makes the image of the swarm rush the proud knights, the taller figure immediately grabbing the smaller male off his horse and flying into the air on buzzing wings.
You continue to pound to the simple but heave rhythm. Chrysalis takes the mic off the stand and saunters across the stage, cooing her dirge to the audience.
The illusions hover over the audience telling their story, the translucent swarm leader and her captive having some conversation before she suddenly drops him to the ground below.
”COME JOIN THE ARMY OF UNDEAD AND OBSCENE…SHE’LL GIVE YOU NOTHING BECAUSE THAT’S ALL YOU’LL NEED…”
Chrysalis continues to wail about a lover’s treachery and you break from the mic, leaving Terror there.
Sombra continues to make the entire building shake at his feet while Eris accents Terror’s throaty “HEY”’s with her own.
You prop your leg on an amp and begin your solo, a whining flanging tune while the illusionary swarm breaks from the imaginary boundaries of the vision and flutters around the ballroom.
Chrysalis pumps up the crowd more, spotting a guy holding a camera recording the show. Normally some bouncer would have taken it, but Chrysalis…
With a wave of her hand the camera floats up into her grasp where she aims it out towards the screaming fans. She laughs as she focuses the camera on each member of the band, getting poses and reactions from them.
That guy was gonna be REALLY happy with this home movie.
She comes over during the second half of your solo and aims the camera straight up your guitar’s neck. You make sure to give her some good footage.
As your solo comes to an end, you let your guitar feedback through the amp and make a quick motion to Chrysalis.
“Trade?” you ask.
Chrysalis nods and holds the camera out to you, you slide your guitar off your shoulders and exchange them. Chrysalis slides the axe on and ambles around the stage, playing an improved tune.
You follow her with the camera and try to get it all.
As she plays the illusions all burn away in the light of a sun that’s descended from the chandelier.
Chrysalis drops to her knees and makes use of your noise gate to break up the sound and send the song home.
”Well…It think we’ve seen enough.” A judge front and center says.
The five of you get back stage off from the roaring crowd.
Chrysalis is beside herself. ”Arty I could KISS you right now you were so good out there!”
”Night Terror!”
”Shut up!”
You flick the last of your spare picks to some girl in the front and head back.
“We were all fucking amazing! We killed it out there!”
”Up top!”
You and Artemis, then, Sombra, all high five.
”Where’s Two-plot and her Fantastic Five?” Eris asks.
Chrysalis shrugs. “Where the losers hang out, fuck them, they were cunts.”
The cheering outside changes enough that all of you pick up. You lift the curtain a bit.
”ONE MORE! ONE MORE! ONE MORE!” they chant.
“Hahahaha…sweet, dude.”
Sombra runs his hand through his hair. “Uhh..shit! Okay! What have we got for an encore?”
Chrysalis adopts the most sly fucking cat grin you’ve ever seen.
”I have JUST the thing.”
She waves her green glowing hands and recedes a portion of the front stage…revealing a full orchestra.
”Where did you dolts think I was?” she answered as you all looked at her in shock.
You don't even want to THINK of how many blowjobs she had to offer to score this...
Chrysalis gives the conductor the thumbs up. The orchestra plays their notes, notes you and the others instantly recognize as you gather your gear backstage for the encore.
The crowd falls to a hush, wondering what you have planned as the stage goes dark. The five of you walk out onto the stage amidst the darkness, taking in the cheers as the actual, factual, 100% certified best band in Canterlot.
They can ban it all they want but this passion was realer than anything they could say.
You looked out over the concert hall and saw hundreds of screaming fans, all here for the music you played. It brought a tear to your masked eye.
The music swells as you all take position and the crowd catches onto what’s going on.
As the horns and strings reach their crescendo, you turn your tuning way down and fire off the lightning fast and heavy notes of your anthem.
You meandered down the street of the port town in your “warm getup” which basically meant long shorts and a tshirt. You weren’t a “showing your legs” kinda guy. Or any kind of skin for that matter what with the mask.
Chrysalis had somehow gotten you a gig at the southern tip of the continent, near the fringes of the kingdom, but she sprung it on you all a week or so after the Canterlot Music Festival, saying that due to your heightened status for winning that thing, you could expand. Granted having to spend four hours on Artemis’ royal jet while hearing him complain about it was less than fun, but it was what it was.
As you drew closer to the club you were set to play at, you noticed some of the other local musicians stopping to talk to fans in the street or being stopped. Some were hitting on or getting hit on, a few were signing autographs and at least one was being followed. Something you relished about your life was the anonymity you embraced with your name. It meant you could go to a bar or the store or whatever and not be accosted by people. There was also some sick voyeuristic thrill or something in knowing who you were but them not.
Whatever, you were an oddball surrounded by oddballs, it didn’t matter.
You round the corner of the club and spot Eris and Sombra and some girl Sombra had hanging off him. outside leaning on the wall having a smoke, they raise their hands when they see you.
”Hey.” he says.
“Sup.”
”We’re on in two hours, third from last.” Sombra says.
You contort your face. “That’s…a weird place.”
Eris shrugs. “Maybe that’s how they do it in Zebrica.”
You look around. “Where’s Chrys and Arty?”
Eris stomps her cigarette out. “Arty’s off explaining to his sister why he’s not home.”
”And Chrys is hanging with The Black Stripes.”
”Oh your god Sombra, you can’t just go around calling Zebricans that.” Eris chides.
You head inside.
You step through the cigar smoke and crowds and look around. Chrysalis was seated at a table with six gentlemen. You head over and catch them all laughing at the tail end of some joke.
“Chrysalis! Who are your chocolate comrades?”
Chrysalis looks back at you. “Hahaha…he-hey Anon! Pfftahahaha…” she grabs you by the arm and grabs a chair with her magic, pulling you into it and up at the table. ”Guys, this is Anon, our lead guitarist.”
One of them leans forward. “You’re the one in the mask, right?” he says in a slight accent.
“That’s me.”
He nods and pats your shoulder. “It’s a good mask, it reminds me of home.”
You flash him the horns. This guy was cool, mask enthusiasts were hard to come by.
Chrysalis goes around the table. ”Anon, this is Kunta, Norm-“
”I’m adopted.” One you assume is Norm says.
”He’s adopted.” Chrysalis continues. “Norm, Eee’da, Avery Day, and ‘Chala.” She says going counterclockwise around the table.
“You guys a band too?”
’Chala nods. “In a way, we perform slam poetry.”
“…Slam…?”
”They’re rappers, Anon.” Chrysalis says.
Oh.
”Slam poetry is an ancient custom of the Zebricans, we’re happy to see it caught on overseas.”
You look around at all of them, dark skin marking them from Zebrica as well as ghost white tribal markings, but modern dress in identical long coats and caps.
Your eyes drift to Chrysalis.
“So are they why we’re here because I don’t think the hotel beds are big enough for all o-OOF!”
The heavy glass mug sitting in front of you gets pushed off the table by an unseen twitch of Chrysalis’s finger.
Right on your balls.
"OW. FUCK." You keel over.
”Whoops! Let me get that.” Chrysalis says, bending down.
She glares at you under the table as you wince.
”You will never see me naked again.”
“Don’t lie to your bandmate.” You cough out.
Chrysalis grabs the mug and rises back up, pulling you along with her. ”So, when do you guys head up?”
Kunta holds up three fingers. “Three from now.”
“Damn, better than us, we’re third from last.”
Avery Day shakes his head. “Man, how they gonna do that to the best band in Canterlot?”
”You heard about that?”
“You heard us before?”
Avery extends his arms. “The streets got ears, mang.”
Well damn.
“That’s-“
The lights above dim save for the stage.
”Oh shit, new talent.”
Onto the stage trots an old face and a new one.
”Heeeeey there everybody! My name’s Pinkie Pie!”
You feel Chrysalis cringe next to you. “By the ancestors…”
“What is she wearing?”
”Damn son…”
Next to her stands a little girl with purple hair in a nice dress. ”This here is my friend and music partner Sweetie Belle! We’re going to perform some slam poetry we wrote for you!”
The kid nods and grabs the mic. “I’m gonna sing!” she says, all too excited to be on stage.
“Oh no…”
Pinkie goes to the turntables and starts up a beat with some soundbites, Sweetie Belle grabs the microphone.
The club is DEAD SILENT save for the girl no older than twelve singing on the stage. She had the voice of an angel, the beats were pretty good too.
But goddamn…
”Yo…where’s that kids parents at?”
”They can’t not know she’s here, man.”
“With Pinkie Pie, who knows.”
Avery turns around and faces you. “You know that girl?”
“We’ve met.”
”That woman should not have a future in music.” Chrysalis says.
”Or raisin’ kids.”
”Or that.”
You look around. Several patrons had the same expressions you all had, shock, appall, confusion, but many were bobbing their heads to Pinkie’s factory churned beat that wormed its way into their ears.
“I dunno…” you say.
Chrysalis looks over at you.
“Look at these people, those beats may be uninspired but they’re good.”
”I bet you anything it’s that dude out in Candia.” Avery says.
Chrysalis turns and arch her eyebrow, Avery continues. “Some dude out there said he cracked how to make catchy music, you pay him and he cranks out a hit for ya, it’s disgraceful.”
Kunta eyes Pinkie. “They may win at this rate…”
”Who else is set to play tonight, anyone good?”
Chrysalis rests her chin in her hand. “There’s at least one one-man-band.”
Ew.
“So just us.”
”Looking like.”
Chrysalis’s eyes drift over the Stripes and you. ”…We all like each other here, right?”
You nod, so do the Stripes, Avery adding “That girl you got in the suit is HOT.”
”So…” Chrysalis continues. “Do we want to beat each other senseless or knock this travesty out? And split the bonus for the encore.”
All the Stripes look at each other then you. “Whatchu got in mind?”
Chrysalis dons her “Evil queen” grin. “Anon, go get the others, we have a plan to enact and not much time.”
A few hours later the ten of you were backstage rushing out.
Avery grabs the mic. ”Yeah. Yo. We are The Black Stripes.” He says to some applause.
It was awkward shuffling out onto the stage with so many people, but you made do.
”And we are Mystik Spyral…but we’re gonna change that name, keep an ear out for us.” Chrysalis says.
You, Artemis, Eris, and Sombra all laid your cords out and plugged them into the turntable as Norm got behind it.
“Levels good?” you ask him.
He gives you one thumb up.
”Today…we decided to try something different, we hope you all enjoy.” Chrysalis says.
You walk out further towards the front of the stage patting your strings, filling the club with a low hum.
The remaining members of the Stripes each grab individual microphones and mill about the stage, either enticing the crowd or looking tough. Chrysalis joined Norm behind the table.
Once everyone looked ready, you grabbed your pick.
“We ready!?”
You get thumbs up, nods, crossed drumsticks, and a power stance in response.
“Hit it, Sombra!”
The song was a fusion of all things good both in the world and locally. It was important to try new things, even if you just wrote it over the course of two hours while eating chicken wings.
Huh, look at that. This magazine says that Sapphire Shores was getting divorced. You’d totally fuck Sapphire Shores, you should keep an eye out for her once you become famous.
You were sitting in the reception area of the Royal Palace in Canterlot trying to avoid the cold. Right after the show in Stableside, you and the band had noticed that you weren’t getting any dates for gigs until the end of the month.
Turns out it was December and you forgot about Hearth’s Warming. Again.
If you had a mom here, she’d kill you.
The band had crashed in a hotel in Canterlot and spent Hearth’s Warming drinking cheap eggnog. It wasn’t much, but you were all together, that was important.
Also you couldn’t afford anything else until you played a big enough show.
Which is why Chrysalis marching in two days after the holiday announcing she’d gotten you two shows was the best gift of all after watching Sombra pass out while wearing some of Eris’s booty shorts.
One show, the bigger of the two, was a MASSIVE blowout on New Year’s Eve in Ponyville. The other was today and…considerably more somber. The day of memorial for the defeat of the Changelings long ago.
Which made Chrysalis sitting with you and Artemis in the lobby all the stranger.
”This is taking too long, Arty.”
”It’s the speed of politics, Chryssy. Celly will meet us when she can.”
Chrysalis groans and rolls her eyes, impatiently tapping her crossed legs as she looks at you.
”And why are you here, Anon?” she asks.
“Cuz Sombra and Eris are either fuckin’ or getting high and watching cartoons or abducting children or something and I needed the air.”
You turn the page. “Plus I figure I can help pull you off Celestia if you try to kill her.
”If we ever see her.”
Clunking boots draw your attention to the archway, a tall night guard with an eyepatch looks at you.
”Kept you waiting, huh?”
Artemis groans and gets to his feet. “Sunshine Smiles, I swear to me, if you keep saying that I’m going to…rub sand in your eyes or something.”
”Consider it payback for ditching me here to go play rock star, Boss.”
Artemis grumbles. “Is she ready?”
”Princess Celestia will see you now.” The guard says, leading you back.
He leads you, Artemis, and a lagging Chrysalis through a long series of hallways to a small office near the side of the castle. Sunshine Smiles seems to always keep Chrysalis in the corner of his good eye as he leads you along. It’d be stupid to think she didn’t notice.
At the door, the guard opens it a crack and stands watch outside, letting the three of you in.
Seated at a desk in sensible attire you’d never seen a monarch in before sat Celestia of Equestria. She was filling out some paperwork or another at her desk and just now seemed to tear herself away from and look to the door.
”Oh! Artemis! Hello brother, what brings you here today?”
Artemis dons a genuinely warm smile. “Hey there Celly, long day?”
”Oh no longer than others.” She says standing. “I see you brought friends.”
Ohshit.
“Uhm.”
You bow yourself at the waist.
“Uh…pleasure to meet you, Your Highness?”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes and Artemis laughs. Even Celestia stifles a chuckle. “Rise Anonymous. Any friend of my brother’s has no need to bow to me.” Celestia’s eyes drift to the third monarch in the room. “Queen Chrysalis.” She says with a curt nod but still smiling. “I’m pleased to see that you made use of your freedom to come to my office, just as I was to see that you agreed to headline today’s event.”
Chrysalis blows and pops her green slimy gum.
”Yes. That’s why I’m here. I trust you’ll be at the main event?”
That sounded…suspect.
Celestia handles it rather well, however. “Indeed. As acting monarch, I attend most functions in the city. I suppose I could take some time off if there were another here…” she turns and winks at her brother. “But we must follow our passions, no?”
Artemis rubs the back of his head. “Oh sure, let’s go down that road again.”
Now you laugh.
Celestia pinches her brother’s cheek with a devilish grin. “Oh don’t be so melodramatic. If I’d let you pursue your passions a thousand years ago, you might not have had to have been imprisoned.”
Ooooh shit. You wince exaggeratedly.
“Princess Celestia is breaking out the FANGS.”
Artemis slaps her hands away. “Oh do not let her station fool you, she’s sharper than a sword this one.”
Celestia chuckles and taps her brother’s face again. “Look at you, so gaunt. Are you eating correctly? You know you could eat a full meal here with your sister once in a while.”
Artemis slaps her hands more like a child this time. “Oh now you sound like mother!”
You laugh.
Chrysalis pops another bubble behind you and draws attention to herself, she was good at that. “I don’t want to interrupt this family moment but I have what I need and these two need to be fitted for suits and practice a new song, let’s go.”
”Chryssy I-“
”I said let’s GO Artemis.” She says, grabbing the Night Prince by the shirt sleeve and dragging him out.
You wince for real now.
“Have a nice day, Your H-Celestia.”
You’re about to leave-
”Anonymous?”
You look back, Celestia has her hand out to you. “Might I ask your indulgence in something…?”
Uhh…
”ANON!”
You point down the hall. “Can it wait? She sounds mad.”
Celestia’s warm smile returns after a brief moment and she nods. “When next I see you.”
“Till then, stay gold.”
You hurry out of the room after Chrysalis.
Hours later the five of you are backstage in the city square, tuning up and stuffed into identical suits that were no unlike the one you normally wore onstage. You now appreciate how odd you must look sometimes through your mask.
The day’s festivities had gone as somberly as you’d anticipated. First a speech by Celestia, then a few military members, Prince Shining Armor and Twilight spoke a bit and then attendees milled around eating finger foods and generally being upper class twits.
”Alright, alright! Showtime!” Chrysalis comes up behind you all clapping and wearing what amounted to basically a cocktail dress, once again standing out from everyone.
”Is everyone ready? Sombra, your sticks? Eris, are you tuned?”
“We’re fine, Chrys. Are you?”
You put your hand on her shoulder, she jumps a tiny bit.
“You seem kinda…on edge.”
Eris and Night Terror both nod.
Chrysalis sighs and grabs her mic, tapping it three times. “Everything’ll make sense in a bit you guys just…trust me for a few minutes more. Please.” She looks at the four of you with emerald eyes. “This is important to me.”
A long silence drops.
”...That’s cheating.” Sombra says.
Chrysalis offers a small tired chuckle and walks through the curtains on stage. The four of you wordlessly follow her out and take your positions. Normally Chrysalis would be hyping up the crowd, but this time she just stares at Celestia in the royal box directly in front of her some fifty feet away.
”Hello.” She says as she screws in the microphone. “Some of you…may know me.”
Shining Armor was glaring at her from his table.
”Today marks the anniversary of…” you hear her gulp “The destruction of an empire…Their crimes were many and despite being necessary evils, they did not permit them. If there are any who can judge if the actions taken on them were justified…it is not me.”
She points at the mic. “I’m just here to sing.”
That gets one or two laughs.
Chrysalis nods at you as Celestia strokes her chin and Sombra does a four-count.
One part of this song you were really happy with was the opening riff. It was heavy and slow and really drove the song forward. After your first riff, the rest of the band joins in. Terror providing an eerie backdrop of whine and Sombra chugging out light but rhythmic beats on his crystal drum set.
You play the opening chord twice more.
Chrysalis grips the microphone with both hands and bobs with her head facing down, hair covering her face. Eventually she leans forward and enraptures the attending on the first verse.
”We are…not your kind of people…you seem kind of phony…everything’s a lie…”
All eyes are on Chrysalis, exactly as she probably intended, and she stares right back at them as she pours her heart into the lyrics she’d been sitting on for years.
You crank up the gain and start a supporting whining bridge with Night Terror. Chrysalis extends her arms out to her sides and sways in the breeze, serenading the audience with her words and drawing them closer and closer to the stage. Eris joins her for harmonizing vocals.
You, meanwhile, slip your slide over your middle finger and pluck out a few up-scaling twangs while Terror provides rhythm.
Chrysalis, during the calm, flips her hair forward to hide her face again. During this, her image shifts. Small gasps from the crowd reach the stage as a crooked horn sprouts from her head and her skin turns as black as her dress, holes appearing in her exposed arms.
Celestia watches with piercing interest, but the show goes on.
You play your opening riff again to bring the chorus back.
The Changed Chrysalis leans forward in the same pose as she did when she looked as she normally did, staring with the same intensity as she had before.
”Running around, trying to fit it, waiting to be loved…”
He words reach the ears of the attendance, people still inching closer towards the stage and holding up lighters. Pinpricked embers spring to life in front of the stage.
Eris goes to her microphone again, once more providing harmony.
”When you build a shell, build an army in your mind. You can’t sit still and you don’t like hanging ‘round the crowd…they don’t understand.” Chrysalis says, shaking her head.
Chrysalis locks eyes with both Celestia off stage and Night Terror on-stage. Her words now turn more personal, painting a vague picture of the decimation of a race.
If you remembered the showed you’d played at the Canterlot Musical Society, as well as because you’d heard them both bitch when they were plastered, you knew what exactly went down.
Chrysalis extends her arms out toward the crowd…and the sea of embers turns emerald green.
The images of the lighter holder’s shimmers, just as it did Chrysalis, and suddenly the high and mighty attendees were face to face with about thirty odd newly revealed Changelings. Friends, colleagues, spouses, pillars of the community. The citizens of Canterlot were now being directly told that their hated enemies of the past had secretly been an integral part of them for as long as they could remember.
Chrysalis stands in the spotlight that shines on her as the rest of you keep playing. Tears stream down her cheeks but she still smiles of at the light, her arms outstretched to her side.
”We are extraordinary people…we are…”
She repeats herself thrice more and lets you and Terror bring the song to a close. The Changelings in the crowd keep themselves natural as Chrysalis re-assumes her old form and takes the mic.
”Whomever we were in the past…whomever we are today, none of that really matters. I’m not here to hurt anyone…I’m just here to sing.”
Chrysalis turns and leaves the mic on stage as she heads back, the rest of you quickly behind her.
“Holy shit.”
You all leave the stunned crowd and find Chrysalis heaving over and resting her hands on her knees breathing heavily. ”I feel…like I’m about…to throw up…”
The four of you get around her.
“Hold up, give her some space…”
Chrysalis takes a few deep breaths and stands tall, wiping her mouth.
“Are you…okay?”
She blinks a few times. “I feel like…I’m still in a dream.”
”Chryssy…” Chrysalis turns to her left and looks Artemis in the eyes as he removes his Nightmarish helmet and reverts to normal. “I don’t- I mean I knew what I was doing back then but…Chryssy I had no idea it had all…you never show…I’m so sorry.” He says.
Chrysalis quietly laughs once and falls forward, wrapping her arms around his torso and closing her eyes on his chest. “No hard feelings, Artemis…everyone is young and stupid sometimes.”
Artemis chuckles and pats her back, planting a light kiss on top of her head. “You did a really good thing today, Chrysalis…”
”I can only hope.” She says.
”Stop hoping.” You hear Eris say.
Everyone looks and joins her over by the curtain she had pulled back to look at the crowd.
The Changelings, still natural and acting as if nothing had changed, were being vindicated as the other attendees engaged them in conversation.
No one had on angry faces, or looks of disgust or distrust. Even Shining Armor spoke to one of the guards who had changed with an understanding smile as the guard recounted something or another to him.
Chrysalis’s tears come back as she gasps and covers her mouth with her hands.
And the five of you watch music you played help heal centuries old wounds.
“Where is Chrys!?” you shout as you walk around backstage.
”Bathroom!” Sombra calls to you.
Fucking- It was under ten minutes to showtime and this was what she pulled? You should be going over the setlist but nooooo. Chili was never on the menu for the band ever again.
You bang on the door of the bathroom, already in your suit and mask. “Chrysalis will you hurry the fuck up!? The entire town is out there and they’re expecting us!”
”I’m almost done, you idiot!” she calls back.
You bang on the door thrice again.
“Well get done faster because otherwise we’re going to have to make Arty our first singer of the New Year!”
”Hey!” the night prince exclaims.
You bang again. “Chrysalis!” ”ALRIGHT!” she says…with a much deeper voice.
The door to the bathroom swings open and someone half new is on the other side. He’s got Chrysalis’s clothes on, although stretched to fit his broader shoulders with the neck a bit lower to show off his pectorals, along with her colored hair which was cropped shorter and sitting on his head much messier than the Changeling Queen would allow. He’s also a good few inches taller, but chews the inside of his lantern-esque jaw the same way Chrysalis did when she was annoyed.
”WHAT Anon?” he says.
“Uhhh…”
You can’t help but be taken aback. “Chrys, is this a cry for help? Because I’ll be honest, it colors some of our past…interactions, let’s say, in a new light.”
The male Chrysalis smirks and looks into the mirror. “I thought I’d try something for tonight. Chrysalis is a unisex name, afterall.”
“I’m not a unisex guitar player.”
”Oh stop, it’s just for one song.” He says, stroking his chin. “You’re lucky I didn’t keep the beard.”
One song? “So you have the setlist?”
He wags his fingers and floats a sheet of paper with nine songs written on it off the chrome throne. ”Taken care of.”
Chrysalis walks past you and pats your ass, earning a yipe from you.
“Oi!”
”Chop chop Anon! Not long till showtime!”
The five of you walk out onto the erected stage in a field outside of town to an uproar of applause.
”Thank you! Thank you Ponyville! We love being here!” Chrysalis shouts to the crowd.
You inch over and whisper to your rhythmic counterpart.
“Arty.”
”TERROR.” he corrects.
“Whatever, fuck you, why is this town called Ponyville?”
”Don’t think about it Anon, it doesn’t matter.” He says before walking to his corner of the stage and tuning his guitar up.
Okay, whatever.
”I hope everyone had a nice Hearthswarming.” Chrysalis says. He walks over and attaches his mic to his stand. ”You guys ready to ring in the new year with us?”
Applause and cheers.
”ARE YOU READY FOR SOME ROCK AND ROOOOLL?!” Chrysalis roars into the mic with his new voice.
A cheer is his response, from the front of the stage to the trees near the back.
Chrysalis shades his eyes and props a leg on the pot-light. “Wow, must be the entire town out here tonight. You guys humble us, for real…”
He salutes the crowd, apparently a new body came with a new personality, or at least persona.
”BUT SO FUCKIN’ WHAT? HIT IT SOMBRA!”
Sombra raises his arms high and hits a four-count, you play the first chords of the song.
The first song leads into the second leads into the third as the night goes on. Chrysalis ducked behind the curtains and changed back to her regular self after the first song, brushing it off with a glib “I just passed the most handsome guy on the way out here.” to the crowd.
Shenanigans and chicanery ensued throughout the show. You and Terror had a guitar duel, which he lost, Eris flashed the crowd, and Sombra broke his stick and had to drum one handed until Huey could get him a replacement. The heat from your show and the audience had melted the fresh show on the ground and upped the temperature due to writhing bodies.
You were actually sweating under your mask.
All that stopped for the moment as the collective mass huddled just outside of Ponyville held their breath.
”3!...2!...1!...Happy New Year, everyone!” Chrysalis exclaims.
The crowd erupts with applause and jubilation as you shed your jacket. From the corner of your eye you catch some fans admiring.
”May your year be full of joy and good music and…I don’t know, other good things.” Chrysalis says, waving her hand over her shoulder.
She turns to the lot of you and holds the mic to her face. ”So! Band of mine, what song shall we play for our first of the New Year?”
You shrug, the others have similar reactions.
“How about that hip hop song about our dicks?” you say into your mic.
Chrysalis gags and waves that off. “Noooo.”
”Yeah, no.”
”Not till I practice.”
”You suck, Anon.”
Fuck you guys, then.
A glint appears in Chrysalis’ eye. “How about that one?”
You shrug again.
”The one we re-worked.” she clarifies.
Oh shit.
”You want to subject this crowd to something Tirek originally wrote?” Terror says, slightly eyeing the royal box.
Some cheers and “Oh!”’s came from the crowd, the exact reaction you wanted.
Chrysalis turns back to the public. “Weeee have a surprise for you, my little minions. We, long ago, stumbled into a cave that held hieroglyphics of Tirek’s last mighty wail.”
The crowd gasps.
”OBVIOUSLY we would never want to play anything so forbidden, so we…tweaked it a bit.”
The guards weren’t stopping you…could this work? Everything was banking on this, your entire future of the band.
”You in?” Chrysalis asks.
The crowd bursts into cheers. Shirts are removed and waved above heads, girlfriends get on shoulders, and ten thousand Tirek-horns shoot up into the air.
”New Song! New Song! New Song!" They chant.
Chrysalis turns back to Terror. ”I think they can handle it, can you, big guy?” She says, tickling Terror’s chin.
”How about the rest of you?” she asks.
You jam out three power chords in response, Chrysalis jumps up.
”That’s what I want to hear! Sombra! Lay it on us!”
You ready your guitar as Chrysalis weaves her hands and summons the images, ready to play the new song for your new band in the harder and faster future.
You slam out the chords of the anthem as Chrysalis finishes conjuring the images, from even the get go you can see the fans bang their heads harder than you’ve ever seen. The image of a single golden city, resplendent with light and strength on top of a lone mountain appears before the crowd as Chrysalis begins her verse.
From all sides of the city, monsters come. From below marches an army of stone golems that come from under the mountain. From the sky comes beings of pure blackness which claw and scrape at the light emanating off the city. From the left and right march two separate armies, one of armor clad cyclopses and the other of multi-armed devils. Each force, alone being able to decimate the city, inches ever closer to consuming it entirely.
However at the last moment, incidentally right as Chrysalis picks up the second verse and you and Terror join in, an army of defenders appear on the city walls.
They are clad in shining armors, bellowing robes glowing with power, and cloaks that catch in the windless air. Each of them brandishing weapons and magics of the purest light to combat the evils at their door.
The gates of the city open and the warriors ride out on horseback, charging into the combined oncoming hoard face first. Again from the city rises a boat that needs no water.
On the top of the ship with the wind in his face, a titanic figure in horned armor turns the wheel, brandishing his broadside to the enemy and firing magical cannon blasts of pure sunlight as the warriors combat the demons below.
Monsters from the horde grow more distinct, hovering in the air and casting their fowl magicks over the forces of light.
Ancient arcane circles form underneath their feet and erupt in hellfire. Vast eight winged wyrms descend from the sky to devour the guardians of the just, only to be stopped cold. One three eyed monstrosity from the sky raises its curved sword and points to the city, ushering a new wave of monstrosities from the ranks behind him to drown the defenders in bodies.
The defenders steel themselves however and glow brighter than a thousand suns. Their weapons glow with magical fire and cleave the monsters in two, while others release gouts of magic that disintegrate them, or let fly volleys of lightning bolt arrows that pierce even the strongest of hides and armor. The armored sky captain raises a greathammer above his head and strikes a gong behind him, signaling more translucent shapes to the scene.
From the sky where terror had once spilled forth now drops winged warriors whose hands glow with righteous power. They tear into the monstrosities and fill their comrades with renewed vigor. Behind the army of darkness, once hidden assassins with knives made of stars stabbed at the rears of the enemy, felling them before even a sound could be uttered.
The shadowy enemy is slashed to ribbons, bursting into small motes of light as their bodies are destroyed from blade or bolt or magic fire.
The scene zooms in towards five unique soldiers amidst the field that stare down the seemingly insurmountable host of abominations. While at the beginning they stand alone, other aid comes from those behind them who pick up arms to defend their shining city, ready to take on all comers.
”Alright!” Chrysalis shouts to signal your solo.
You dive into the crowd and turn your back to them, praying this doesn’t end up like that show at that casino. Your loyal subjects catch you however and pass you along to their comrades next to them as you jam out on your guitar. The images above flash to the five chosen knights charging the three-eyed king with his curved sword and doing battle with him.
Armored figures trade blows and block his massive swings while other, more nimbler fighters dance between his legs slashing at him and making him roar in silent pain. The wizards bend reality to their whim amongst the field of charred bodies and drop suns and black holes upon the head of the king, weakening him and driving him to his knees
The lone armored knight raises his sword high and brings it down on the kings on all-black necrosword, shattering it with the force of a single blow and sending smoking shards flying over the crowd as the king returns to ash and you’re tossed back up on stage.
Chrysalis begins to repeat her first verse again as she quickly illustrates the five warriors defeating no small number of foes after that.
A multi-armed lord of the devils, a golem the size of a castle that seemed to erase others from existence, but not the warriors, and a cyclops king clad in decorated armor and fineries were all destroyed by the warriors of light.
As the song wound down, the shining golden city was the only thing left in the vision, forever guarded by the warriors within it and able to repel any invasion.
The song ends, the crowd cheers, and the adrenaline hits your ears again. You all raise your hands with the crowd, mirroring their Tirek-horn gestures.
They were like you, and you were like them.
Chrysalis claps for the crowd and grabs her mic. “Yeah! You guys are amazing, the absolute best we’ve had, no lies.”
She turns and waves for everyone to join her at the mic, Sombra diving off his set.
”Now…you may have heard that we’ve been considering changing our name for a while now, if you’ve been to our other shows.”
Eris grabs the mic. “Which you shoulda been.”
”Yeah, which you SHOULD have been, but anyway, we decided on a name.”
Chrysalis turns and waves her hand, causing a furled banner that was attached to the top of the stage to fall and reveal a logo that you’d paid some scribe Arty found a good bit of money to make.
”We are the Neon Knights…” Chrysalis says into the mic. “And we play rock and roll!”
The crowd cheers and Chrysalis puts her arms around you, the five of you taking a bow to the crowd.
”Encore! Encore! One more song!” they exclaim.
Chrysalis laughs without her mic and pulls you all close together into a huddle. “They want more…do you guys trust me?”
”Kind of.”
”Sorta.”
”On a good day.” you say.
“Sure? Why not.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes. “Such love. Look, I know a song we can play to REALLY kill this, get our names from here to the griffon kingdoms…it’s risky, but we all know it by heart.”
”…Which?” Sombra asks.
Chrysalis grins like a devil and whispers into your ear. ”Let’s make them sick…” she whispers.
You blink twice. “You weren’t lying when you said that it was risky…” You think for a moment…a forbidden song… “But fuck it! Now or never time, I’m with her.”
The others, amazingly, nod.
”If Anon’s with it, so am I.” Eris says and Arty agrees.
”Great! Break!”
Chrysalis breaks the huddle and snatches the mic. Okay! Okay! We have one more to shut you up!”
You swallow your nerves as everyone gets into position and grab a fresh pick. You hold up a four-count to Sombra and strum your guitar 8 times after receiving it.
Somewhere far off from the celebrations, there was a tomb. It was not an erected tomb, the sole occupant did not enter it willingly, but it rested in a silent cavern beneath the stone.
Somewhere far off from the celebrations, there was a corpse.
Cut off from all but the right sounds, dark hieroglyphs were etched into the walls surrounding the occupant, a withered bag of bones and dust that not even carrion creatures would dare feed on. In its hand rested an axe, one that cleaved both body and soul and had been used to carve the mountains into the earth in the before-time.
Somewhere far off from the celebrations, the sounds of power reached the tomb.
The writings of the madman on the wall glowed a sickly green as their power was unleashed in a single act of carelessness or pride after countless eons of nothing. The power of the notes, the chords, the chants flowed into the corpse and made its black heart beat once.
A yellow eye opened, taking its first glimpse at the waking world in a million lifetimes and seeing what it had become.
It gripped its axe in its hand and rose to its feet.
You walk along the marble floors of where you were staying barefoot in your flame print bathing suit. This place had a ‘tub and you were on vacation.
“Hey Arty, where’s Sombra?” you ask as you pass through the foyer.
Artemis holds up one finger while he talks into the phone. “Some little band saw him walking through town the other day and invited him to some party tonight. Yes, yes I’m still here Celly.”
Whaaat? Some party and you weren’t invited?
“I thought we came all the way out here to get away from all that.”
Artemis shrugs and turns his back to you, going back to talking to his sister.
Whatever. YOU were relaxing.
You head out onto the porch overlooking the snow covered mountains and let the cold air brush upon your chest. The band-Neon Knights had packed up after the New Year’s show and skedaddled north for some R&R. Artemis was letting you all squat in an old summer retreat of his and you were taking that for all it was worth.
Right now that meant a hot tub. You walk over to the very edge of the porch where the tub overlooks the snow kissed valley below as the stars begin to come out and find someone already there.
“Hey you.”
Eris bends her head upside down and looks back at you. “Hey yourself.”
“How’s the water?”
”Like me, hot and bubbly.”
You chuckle. “If I cannonball in, how much trouble will I get into?”
”You’ll surface somewhere less fun than next to me.”
You laugh again and step in normally, getting chest high in the warm and steaming water as you sit next to Eris. “I gotta say I’m surprised to see you wearing a top.”
”Arty complained that his neighbors were watching earlier.”
Ah, that’d do it.
Time passes and Artemis raises the moon from inside. Meanwhile, Eris is practicing a trick.
Your part in it was holding two maregarita glasses she’d pulled out of her bikini top and filled with tub water.
“…Eris, please.”
”Shut up! I have this.”
Eris snaps her fingers again for the third time and the liquid in the glasses turns green and starts fizzing.
She leans down and sniffs it like a cat would. “Smells right. Take a sip.”
You hesitate a minute. “Please Eris.”
”Oh come on, trust me here.”
Oh well…you’ve put worse in your mouth. You bring the glass to your lips and take a sip.
…Tasted like a maregarita, shockingly enough.
“I’m legit surprised.”
”You don’t give me enough credit.”
“I give as much credit as someone made of chaos warrants.” You say, handing Eris her drink.
“Cheers.”
”To Arty for this sweet pad.”
“A-fuckin-men.”
You and Eris clink your glasses and drink down the liquid.
“It’s a bit minty.” you say.
”You’re a bit minty.”
”Any more of that left?” you both hear followed by a sharp “click click click” sound.
The two of you turn towards the house and the sound and spy Chrysalis walking towards the tub in heels and…well a “suit” would be stretching it.
“Shit Chrys, I could floss with that thing.”
”You can, I’ve done it.” She says as she reaches the pool’s edge.
“Course you have.”
Chrysalis winces and reaches down, unbuckling and removing her heels. “Dammit…”
”Why would you wear those if they hurt so much?” Eris asks.
”When you’re the frontman of a band one day, you’ll understand why we have to look good.” She says as she slides into the tub on your opposite side. “Now about that drink?”
Eris pulls another glass out her cleavage and holds it under her nose, she blocks one of her nostrils and sprays maregarita out of the other into the glass which she hands to Chrysalis.
Chrysalis tentatively takes it but looks at you.
“Tastes fine, trust me.”
Chrysalis takes your word and clinks glasses with the two of you. “Cheers.” She says before she sips and reclines.
”Aaahhh~…This is the life.”
“We do more shows like that one in Ponyville and this will be the life all the time.”
”That’s the dream, Anon. That’s the dream.” She says. “And all we need is some gig to hit it big.”
“Mmmhm…”
You swirl your drink as it magically refills and take another swig.
“Did I ever tell you about my first real gig?”
”Nope.”
”Probably.” Eris says.
“Well it was back in the home I came from…” you begin.
Time passed some more and you were on you…eighth drink? It didn’t matter, you were almost finished the story.
“And so Steve…riiiides the food cart through the cafeteria and smashes into a vat of old grease. We weren’t allowed back at that school again.”
Chrysalis and Eris both laugh themselves into a fit next to you. “Oh-ho-ho Anon…you had downright CHARACTERS as friends, didn’t you?”
“That’s one way to put ‘em aside from “retards”.”
”You ever miss ‘em?” Eris asks.
You hang your head a bit and sip your drink.
“…Yeah. Sometimes.”
You set your drink down and quickly get an arm around each of their shoulders. “But here I got other new friends! And these ones have hard-ass rap sheets and laws named after them.”
The girls, equally on their something-ith drink, giggle.
”Well I see that my houseguests are having a good time.”
The three of you turn around. “Arty!”
”Get IN here you big lug! The water is perrrrfect.” Chrysalis says.
That’s when you notice Artemis is in his normal clothes.
“You got a speedo under there, big guy?”
”Fraid not. I’m afraid this is where I leave you three.”
”Whaaaaat?” Eris says.
”Oh say it isn’t so.” says Chrys.
”Afraid it is.” Artemis says. “It’s the holiday and I’ve a family to spend it with and duties to perform. I’ll see you guys in a couple of days though after, alright?”
Chrysalis splashes a bit of water his way and turns around. “Fine, party pooper.”
”Eeeevery party needs a pooper that’s why they invited you…” Eris sings.
Artemis dodges the splash with a jump back and zips his jacket up. “Just don’t die in the tub, and don’t mess up my house!” he says walking away.
You turn back and put your feet up on the seat on the opposite side. “Whatever.”
Eris adjusts her seating and lets her head fall onto your shoulder. “Some holiday with half the band gone.”
On your opposite shoulder, Chrysalis mirrors Eris and plops her head down. “You’ll have to be a gentleman and entertain the ladies tonight, Anon.”
Maybe it was all the alcohol in your blood. Maybe it was due to diverted bloodflow in the first place. Or maybe it was because you weren’t a fucking chump, but you were suddenly really happy Artemis left.
“So…girls.” You say, clearing your throat. “What’d you ask for for the holidays?”
You awake the next morning in one of the beds to the most gorgeous sight in the world, a rising sun over a snowy valley seen from between a beautiful woman’s legs.
At least that’s what you saw before Chrysalis pulled her panties back up.
“I was looking at that…” you say as you push yourself out of a puddle of your own drool.
Chrysalis turns around and smiles. “I would think you’d still be out by now. Good morning.”
“Hey beautiful, and nah, my years of practice being a drunk prepared me.” You yawn out
”No hangover, even?”
“Not even.”
”Must have sweated it all out last night.” She teases as she puts a shirt on.
“I don’t think that’s how that works…” you say.
”I may have cheated a little bit.”
”Be quieeeet.” Eris says pulling her head out of the blankets from behind you on the bed. “It’s too early for talking…”
You laugh.
“Apparently Chrys didn’t cheat with everyone.”
”She’s always so mean to me…” Eris pouts.
”Stop pouting Eris, you’re be gal-pal, you know I love you in my own special way.”
You watch Chrysalis pull her pants on. “The hell are you going?”
”Out?” she says.
“It’s a Saturday and we spent all night partying and you want to go out?”
”I lived in the desert most of my life, Anon. I’m going to take every chance I can to see what’s out there.”
”I was in a rock and I’m still in bed…” Eris says.
”You’re lazier than I am, dear. Have a nice day! Don’t get dehydrated.” She says as she wanders off cackling to herself.
You let your arm give out and fall back onto the pillows. Eris worms her way up to you and puts her head on your chest.
”Now what?” she asks.
You rub your forehead and yawn.
“Okay. We go back to sleep, get up around noon, order doughnuts, and watch cartoons all day. That sound cool?”
Eris closes her eyes and kisses your pec. “Read my mind, Anon…”
You pull another pillow over your face and you’re out like a light.
Damn. New Year’s may be over, but it was still bitch-ass cold outside. Winters were something else in The Crystal Kingdom. You and Eris stood out back of the club you were playing, sharing a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the crisp night. The little chaos sprite purses her lips and exhales, the ring of smoke she releases morphs into a triangle and spins around before dissipating.
“You’re cheating.”
”I am not, I’m just amazing.”
“Your mouth isn’t that amazing, Eri.”
”Pffft. You know it is, don’t lie to me Anon.”
You chuckle and take another drag from your cigarette. “So how about it, s’been a few weeks, seen Chryssy standing under your window with a boombox?”
”The last time we hung out just us was when she scored with the bouncer at that one club. You?”
You shrug.
“She squeezed my ass at breakfast, but that was because I said I got told it was nice.”
”Well it is nice.” Eris says.
“You’re too kind.”
You shiver and hike up your coat. “S’fucking freezing out here…”
”Aw, is baby cold?” Eris asks chidingly, blowing smoke in your face.
“Fuckoff.” You say waving the smoke away. “The blankets at the hotel suck ass.”
”My blankets are purrrrfect.”
“THAT is because you put the charm on the bellhop and got a nicer room, you little hussy.”
Eris laughs and flicks her cigarette away, you stomp yours out.
”You gonna cwy about it?” she mocks.
“I might. Just to watch you squirm.”
Eris puts her hands behind her head and leans back against the wall. “Come sleep in my bed then.”
You lean back with your hands in your pockets. “Are you inviting me to sleep with you?”
Eris rolls her eyes. “I mean it. I barely feel the cold but I’m pretty sure I still radiate heat.”
“You don’t feel the cold?”
”You lose a lot of sensation when you’re a statue, Anon…”
…Downer.
You gyrate and boop her butt with your hips. “I’d love to share your bed. I promise to keep the groping to a tasteful minimum.”
”No titty tiwsters, please.”
At that moment, Huey leans out the door. “Anonymous? Eris? We’re on in five.”
Eris walks towards the roadie. “Ready to warm up, Anon?”
“Let’s burn this place down, hot stuff.”
-Later
-
The show was going well. The crowd was electric and a put was forming in front of the stage. You wave to the fans up front and flick your pick at one.
Chrysalis grabs the microphone. “I’ve something to take care of, my lovelies. Be back in a mo’.”
Wait what. You turn your head breakneck fast and catch Chrysalis near stage right.
"What the fucking fuck?!” you whisper.
She was bailing!?
Chrysalis smiles her cat smile and glances to the drums. “Show must go on, Annie.” And with that, she was gone. Sombra chuckles behind his set as you shrug to Night Terror.
This was fine. You were a semi-pro. You grab your guitar and snap four times. Music
You bust out a sick lick that you and Artemis have practiced dozens of times. He catches on quick and plays in response to you. The both of you go back and forth a bit before the rest of the band join in
Your fingers dance and drift along the neck of the guitar as you stand next to Terror and do musical battle with him. Eris bobbed and drifted around the stage, lightly strumming along her bass while Sombra tossed and caught his drumsticks out of the air, his bass kicks stomping tiny crystals around his feet.
The supporting instruments die off as you and Terry drop to your knees and each bust out the hardest chords and solos you can each muster until you can’t feel your left fingers anymore.
The hall goes silent for a moment before applause reaches you on stage. You smile and stand, looking to your left. Chrysalis wasn’t waiting right off the stage to come back.
The…?
It wasn’t unusual singers to take a quick break to get a drink or pee or something, but this was going on.
Sombra must have been looking too, because he stands up from his drums. ”Oh the hell with this!”
You look back as Sombra gets off his seat and removes his tanktop, walking to the front of the stage. Night Terror sees it too and goes to his microphone. “Hey! Hey! You turn right back around and go back where you belong, mister.”
Why was he talking like a fucking goobe-oh.
Sombra pushes past him and grabs Chrysalis’ mic. “Oh shut up you insufferable windbag.”
You look to Eris, she shrugs. Not unexpected.
Sombra walks forward and tosses his shirt into the crowd before resting a massive booted foot.
”I tell you, it’s good to be back…who here knows who I am?” Several cheers from the audience. ”King in the Stone? The Shadow Emperor? Host with the Most? Ringing any bells?”
More cheers.
”Yeah that’s what I thought…This is my home town, and we aren’t sitting around waiting for some Tirek-damn Changeling Queen to finish doing her nails for our entertainment, are we!? Is that what the Crystal Kingdom is about!?” he shouts.
The entire audience cheers and holds the Horns of Tirek up to Sombra. ”Damn right. But if she’s out, I’ll have to do her job for her. HUEY! FRONT AND CENTER!” he calls out behind him.
The “yummy brown” as Eris liked to call him stagehand walked out from behind the curtain in his Neon Knights tee-shirt. “Sombra. You know I don’t like being on stage, what do you wa-AH!”
Sombra throws a pair of drumsticks at the guy from his back which he catches lightning fast.
”That’s our Three Armed Huey.” Sombra says.
”I actually heard it was three legged…” Eris chimes in.
”Then he better be dexterous. Huey! You’re my drummer!” Sombra says pointing at him.
Ahuizotl sighs and gets behind the set.
Sombra walks over to you after quickly conversing with Eris and Night Terror.” ”You remember that song I taught you at the hotel in Cloudsdale?”
You scratch through your mask and think back.
“The one after we met those super-fit twins, right?”
Sombra nods. “On the four.”
”HIT IT!”
Ahuiztol counts off four hits and you grab your spare pick.
You strike quick on your strings as Sombra unhooks the microphone from the stand, wrapping the cord around his arm. Huey falls in quick and slams out on the tops for the opening crescendo. As the rest of the band joins in, Sombra makes his hand glow and raises his foot, stomping down on the stage and making eight foot tall crystals erupt out from behind the drumset. You bob your head and walk over to stand side by side with Terror. The song calls for higher accents which you both slam out and arc your guitars up in unison during. Huey plays a complex drum bridge which you and Arty match on your guitars while Sombra starts singing.
The crowd loves the change of pace. Chrysalis was a fantastic showman who knew exactly how to sensually draw in the crowd with illusions, ever changing vocals, and sex appeal. Sombra however radiated raw power from every muscle in his body which he was now exploding out to the audience.
Sombra strikes a pose with one leg on the amp as he belts the lyrics to his song out, making glowing crystalline nubs pop out form the ground as he thrashes on his bare chest like a mad gorilla.
This was why you had female fans.
You and Terror go to your microphones as the chorus comes up.
“RE!”
“SPECT!”
“ROCK!”
Sombra goes through an identical verse, stomping more crystals out of the ground which charge the room with an electricity in the atmosphere. The audience feels that power and the pit in front of the stage swells, turning into a raging vortex of bodies and shirts swirling around a naked eye. You tilt your guitar to mess with the pickups as you begin your solo, serenading the crowd and the crystals with the wining opening chords of a solo that quickly turns more and more technical.
Your fingers patter across the neck like raindrops in summer, your hand slides up and down like you’re cocking a gun, and then you step down on your wah peddle and crank your whammy bar as far as it will go. Sombra throws his hair over his face and pinwheels his head to Night Terror’s rhythmic strumming.
”ARE YOU TALKIN’ TO ME!?” Sombra shouts.
You and Night Terror shout out the chorus in unison with the entire audience over and over again. Sombra extends his arms and uses his magic to recede the thrumming crystals back into the ground, the floorboards sealing behind them. He brings his mic to his mouth as the rest of the band bangs their heads and plays him out to Huey’s thunderous mimicry of Sombra on the drums. “Walk on home boy.”
Sombra turns and walks back towards the drumset as the lights darken to absolute blackness and the four of you stop playing. The audience erupts in cheers as Sombra stands next to his drums. He raises the Horns of Tirek while Huey slides off and graciously bows over the stool, returning it to its rightful master.
You, Terror, and Eris all clap as Sombra takes his place back on the drums, slamming out hits to signal that the night should continue. Amidst the jubilations, Chrysalis returns to the stage and grabs the mic. “Whoa whoa whoa, what’d I miss here?”
After the show let out and autographs were signed, the five of you walk back to your hotel together in the wee hours of the morning.
”Who knew you had a set of pipes, Somby?” Eris said, riding atop Sombra’s shoulders and drumming on his skull with her thumbs.
”You’d know if you’d asked.” He answers.
”Honestly” Artemis says. “I’ve known you longer than anyone here and I’ve never heard you sing like that.”
”The right song can make us do straaange things, Artemis.”
Artemis puts his hands in his pockets and nods. ”Mmmmm I could hear you even from backstage~”Chrysalis coos.
“Speaking of, Huey says the crew need more earplugs.”
Everyone looks at Artemis who rolls his eyes. “Add it to the list.”
Sombra stops in front of a door. “Alright, this is me, off woman.” He says, picking Eris up and setting her down.
Chrysalis leans with her hand against the all as he lets Eris down. “So what’s the plan now big guy?”
”I relax.” He says.
Chrysalis taps her fingers on the wall. “Need a hand~?”
Sombra…yawns. “That’s my code for “I’m going the hell to sleep”. Ask me after our next show. Honestly, how you have the energy for that after singing is beyond me.”
Sombra goes into his room and shuts the door. “Later guys.”
“Lates.” You say waving.
Arty cracks his back and walks down to his room. “I’ve got earplugs to order it seems, goodnight.”
You and Eris snicker to one another.
“You got turned the fuck down, Chryssy.”
”Careful Anon, she’ll use her feminine wiles on us!”
“She knows she needs to liquor us up first for that!”
”I’m sure she’s got a bar in her room if she wanted.”
Chrysalis crosses her arms and pouts. “Just for that? I am taking a bath BY MYSELF. You get NOTHING. Good DAY!” With that she snaps in a Z formation and turns, strutting down the hall to her room.
“What do you think that’s code for?”
”Drawing a bath and masturbating herself retarded, probably.”
The two of you shake your heads. “Degenerates.”
”Wanna come clear out my mini-bar and watch 3am porn, roomie?”
“Yeah alright.”
You follow Eris to her room and start the second hardest thing of the night; finding what channels were which in this fucking city.
You walk in through the back, you didn’t like attracting attention when you did this. From the sound of things, the band was already playing. That was good, better to catch them in the middle of something when they’re natural, less preprepared.
You didn’t need a band who could only sound good in post.
The band had fliers all throughout the back rooms. The Neon Knights, you’d heard good things. You’d see how well they could handle themselves.
You sit down at a booth near the back in the middle of the club and signal a waitress over. ”Your usual, Mr Rich?”
“Please, sweetheart.”
The girl heads off and you make yourself comfortable. The band finishes up their current song and the frontwoman, pretty thing for a Changeling Queen, comes forward and addresses the crowd directly. You focus intently on her, watching how she roused sections of the crowd to a fervent pitch, preparing them for the next song in their set.
How a frontman handled a crowd was almost as important as the sound of the band to begin with. A decent frontman could cover up a drunk bassist or a fritzing amp, and it was what was required to take a band to the levels of the greats.
The waitress returns and sets your drink down. “Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you, Mr. Rich.”
“Thank you, darlin’.” You say as you sip your drink.
The girl walks off, but you’re not alone.
”My my, what are the odds?” a familiar posh voice says.
You don’t even have to look, a good thing because your eyes are transfixed on the stage. “Fancy! What on earth are you doing here?”
Fancypants and his ridiculous mustache come around into your field of vision, dressed as sharply as he always was and still sporting his ridiculous mustache. He takes a seat and the two of you shake hands. ”Oh, this club is a recent purchase of mine. I’ve come to ensure the place is up to snuff. And you?”
You tilt your glass towards the stage. “You’re listening to them.”
Fancy chuckles and rests his head in his hand, whistfully looking at the Neon Knights as they begin to play again.
Fancy sighs and leans back in the booth as the guitarist starts his opening riff.
”Saints alive…how long has it been since the old days, hmm?”
“Twenty-two years.” You say.
Fancy shakes his head. “When did we turn into a pair of old men?”
“Some time after your divorce.”
Fancy chuckles. “That’s how they say it starts.”
Fancy leans back and takes in the sight and sound of the Knights with you, seeming especially impressed by the illusions they cast over the crowd.
”If only we’d thought of that, huh?” he asks.
“Blues don’t exactly lend themselves to theatrics like this, Fancy.”
”I wonder if I could still pull that off.” he ponders.
“When was the last time you even picked up a guitar?” you ask.
Fancy is quiet for a small time. “…I’m almost CERTAIN that Tiara was born.”
You roll your eyes and drink your drink. Fancy turns back towards the band. ”You think they have it?”
“I think they stole the show at Canterlot, made a splash in Stableside-“
”Sweet Celestia, Stableside? How did they pull an audience? Zebrican music is huge there.” Fancy interrupts.
“They teamed up with a Zebrican band at the club and wrote a new song right before their set.”
Fancy looks to the stage in awe. “They certainly have something…”
“They brought the house down at the New Years party in Ponyville this year, came on my radar.”
Fancy nods. “I heard about that, I was in Germaneigh at the time and I heard about that.”
You finish your drink. “They have something…a sound, a passion, the illusions. This is what we were trying to find back in the day, Fancy. This is the game changer. And I want to be on the ground floor of it.”
Fancy pushes himself up and begins to walk away. “Best of luck then, Filthy. Tirek keep you strong.”
The after show was almost always just as fun as the regular show these days. The five of you had finished your set and collected your pay and decided that the best way to spend it was to crawl down to the nearest pub and grab a stool.
You and Sombra sat laughing at the counter while Artemis took on some of the locals in billiards. Eris had a fake mustache on and was helping the bartender pour another beer and finally Chrysalis was off in the corner either trying to get another lead on a new gig from a patron or propositioning him, you couldn’t tell.
Possibly both. Probably both.
But that didn’t matter right now.
You pat Sombra on his shoulder. “HELL of a job on the skins tonight, big guy.”
Sombra has a hearty chuckle and raises his mug to his mouth. “It was pretty wild. I’m still waiting on you lot to let me really cut loose.”
Chrysalis piques in from the corner. “From what I’ve seen you, cutting loose would split the continent in half. We’re keeping you dialed back for all our sakes.” She says.
Sombra rolls his eyes.
”She’s right though.” Eris comes up dressed as an old timey bartender, pinstripe shirt and everything, while washing a glass. “The building didn’t always used to shake when we played.”
You and Sombra look at each other and then back to her.
“Well yeah. Bigger venues mean more people and bigger sound equipment, it’s natural.”
”It’s physics, Eri.”
Eris shakes her head. “I know stuff. I know when there’s magic in the air or not.”
You cock an eyebrow. “Yeah but from where? Chrys is the only one casting any spells.”
”It’s from your music.” A voice with a bit of a drawl says as the jukebox stops.
All eyes turn towards the man in the navy blue overcoat and pompadour haircut standing by the jukebox.
His hungry, yellow eyes drift over the five of you. ”The Neon Knights…got a minute?”
Now you all look to Chrysalis who sighs quietly. “You get one to get my interest.” She leaves her prey for the evening, signaling the rest of you come closer.
The man strikes the jukebox and starts a slower, more ethereal tune as he takes his seat.
”Who are you?” Sombra asks.
”Yeah, and what’d you mean about our music?” Artemis finishes.
The man reaches into his coat and produces a card. “Filthy Rich. Resident entrepreneur, businessman, daddy…and at one time, bass player and song writer for a blues band.”
The five of you look at each other.
“…Well we never heard of you.”
Filthy Rich frowns annoyed at you. “Yes, you wouldn’t have.” He signals you closer
You all lean closer because you’re stooges and tipsy. ”What if I told you…your music effected the world in more ways than people listening to it? Guitar chords that could make lightning crack, baselines that could ripple space, drum solos that could shake the ground?”
“Probably ask what you smoked.”
Filthy looks at you again, Eris and Artemis chuckle.
”I mean it, boy.” Filthy is silently somber for a few moments. “The world…it wasn’t ready for what my band brought to it. Our energy, our passion, it was misplaced and we faltered. After that, we vanished.”
Chrysalis sits on a stool. “And? Assuming we even believe you for a second about this magic thing, what do you want with us?”
Filthy leans back in his stool and crosses his arms. “I believe your band can move the world. I think you’ve got the sound of a generation under your hood, and I want to be a part of it.”
“Say what?”
Filthy straightens. “As of two hours ago, Rich Record Labels officially exists and by the end of the week, we’ll have our first fully furnished recording studio. I want your band to not only be the first ones in it, I want you to make the first record we put out.”
Chrysalis drops her mug of beer. Eris’s mouth drops all the way to the floor. Literally. Artemis blinks several times. Sombra smiles, not believing what he’s hearting.
You raise your hand and order another glass, you think you need it.
Canterlot may be the capitol of Equestria, but Manehatten was probably the nervous center. Everything came through here before it got to the rest of the kingdom and almost everything started here.
Trade and immigrants came through the Winding River and into Bucktooth Bay where they passed by the Equus sans Conflit monument before they got into the city to join the great melting pot of cultures in it. It was no wonder that Filthy Rich set up his recording studio here. You’d have to ask him if this was where he started his band back in the day once you saw him again.
Here would could experience the widest degree of cultures in the world and channel all that love and energy into your music, producing a record that would travel along the railroad nerves of Equestria to every ear in the kingdom.
Or at least you would once you started, right now you were busy.
“Ha! That one almost hit four feet!”
Eris catches the bit in her hand and flicks it back, giggling. “Hehe, use your thumb more, that seems like it works better.”
“I could concentrate more if I wasn’t so concerned about someone cutting off the blood to my legs because she can’t lay somewhere else.”
”This couch is too small to lay somewhere else?”
"You could move."
"Yeah that's not happening." she says.
You think that over for a minute. “...More thumb it is. In three…two…one…”
The door beyond Eris’s head opens. “Hey guys what’s-“
”Fire!” Eris shouts.
You flick the bit as hard as you can, your aim shifting during the moments you’re distracted by the door. It bounces off its target and sails past Eris’s head, and wings off the doorframe.
Sombra instinctively recoils. “Damn!” he cries, before he turns and looks angrily at you both. It only lasts a minute as his expression changes to confusion at the scene. ”…What in the world are you two doing?”
“Uh…” You look at Eris who shrugs. “I’m…bouncing bits off Eris’s butt.”
Maybe he’d be less weird about it if she hadn’t pulled her pants down to her ankles.
Sombra rolls his eyes and walks into the lounge you and Eris were chilling in, heading over to the table and pouring himself a coffee. Eris hikes her jeans back up and gets off your legs.
“I was ogling that, you know.”
”Later.” She responds, taking a normal seat. “Why the long face, Somby?”
Sombra sips his drink and nods towards the door. “Artemis and Chrysalis are going at it again.”
You and Eris groan in unison. “What NOW?” She asks.
Sombra continues. “It’s about the album. Some big movie director or studio to something contacted Filthy Rich once he heard we signed with him, they want us to compose a song for their movie coming out and shoot a video for it and stuff.”
You and Eris look at each other. “That sounds pretty sweet, actually.”
Eris rubs the back of her head. “Yeah, she would…”
”They’ve been at it for two hours. I can’t take much more. I need coffee.” Sombra sips his “Slave driver” mug. “I’m amazed you two haven’t heard the shouting.”
“We’ve…been busy?” you say as you pick up stray coins.
Sombra shakes his head. “Not in the studio, Anon. Please.”
“Oh shut up. Not that.”
”That game was a lot of fun, Somby. You want to bounce some coins off my butt?”
Sombra cocks an eyebrow. “I’ll pass. It’s a nice offer, but anyone could tell you stealing a bandmates girlfriend, especially when she’s also a bandmate, would be a bad idea.”
Before you can respond, the intercom lights up. Eris goes over and presses it. ”Mushi mushi?”
“Fucking weeb.”
”Shut up.”
”Hey Eris.” You hear over the intercom. You can also make out indistinct hollering in the background.
”Hey Flam, what’s up?” Eris asks turning back.
”It’s Flim.” the intercom answers.
”Whatever.”
Twin brothers should never hold the same job.
”These two sound like they’re winding down. If you guys want to strike while this iron is hot, now’s the time.”
Eris looks at you and Sombra. “Might as well.”
Sombra sighs. “Once more into the breach…”
Eris hits the button. “On our way, Mustache!”
”No, that’s my brot-“ Flam starts, but Eris releases the call button and the three of you head out the door.
-Some time later-
Uhg.
You walk through the recording area later in the night. It took five and a half hours of arguing, reading a bullshit script, composing, bullshiting, drinking, and recording, but the basic gist of the single for the movie was done.
You’d go back and clean things up and re-record later. Right now you all needed a bit of space from one another or someone was going to wind up with a drum set shoved down their throat.
Trudging along, you hear the low plucking sounds of a bass some feet away. The rhythm was…infectious, worming its way into your bones.
You follow it to the source, Eris sitting in a big chair with her bass in her lap.
“Hey.”
”Hey.”
“What’s that?”
Eris continues to play the simple yet addicting bassline. “Just something I had in my brain.”
You next to her and watch her play. “Doesn’t sound like our usual fair.”
”S’cuz it’s not, it’s what I feel inside.”
You cock an eyebrow.
”Look, I love you guys and I love playing with you. The music we play is awesome too. But one day I want to write music about what I’m really all about.”
"Puppies and anime?"
"Shaddup."
You snigger. “Why haven’t you brought it up?”
Eris shrugs. “Bass player?”
“Oh fuck off, that’s a myth. Queen of Chaos can’t be content to sit in the back not being heard, anyway.”
Eris is silent for a moment or two. “…Eeeehhhhh…”
“Fuck that.” You grab your guitar and plug it into an amp.
”Whaaaaaat are you doing?
“I’m gonna jam with you, help you smash this out, and then we’ll put it on the record.”
”Anon, this song doesn’t really belong next to our hard songs…”
“You mean like a dude in a mask doesn’t belong up with four enemies of the state? Not flying. When was the last time I used my talkbox?”
”Uhhh…Canterlot.”
“Time again.”
You plug the box in and stick the mic in your mouth.
Eris resumes noodling on the strings. You close your eyes and nod along with the beat, getting a feel for it. As you do, you begin to pluck at the strings of your guitar, mimicking the pitch and notes with your voice to create your flanging effect.
Time begins to lose meaning as you strum along and jam with Eris, letting the notes do the work. Eris lets you into herself, moving together until your hands are in perfect unison and your music echoed out in harmony.
At least until some cockgobbler coughed and interrupted you.
“GAH SHIT WHAT?!”
You open your eyes to find Chrysalis, Artemis, and Sombra standing over the two of you.
”Are we interrupting?” Chrysalis giggles out.
Eris shrinks into her seat a bit. “Hooooooow long were you guys standing there?”
”The last twenty minutes.”
“We’ve been playing over twenty minutes?”
Eris turns a particular shade of red and shrinks into her seat more, releasing a pathetic whine at being caught playing a personal piece of music by her band.
Chrysalis kneels down and pinches her cheek. “Don’t be saaaaaaad Eri dear, you made a beautiful piece of music.”
”Were you going to put that on the record?” Arty asks.
“I think she should.”
Arty and Sombra look at each other, Chrysalis coos. “Awwww…our little Eris is growing up and wrote us a song, guys.”
You look yourself in your costume over in the mirror. “Hmmm… gimme the first pair again.”
Your aide hands you the first set of goggles you tried on. ”Why are you bothering with these if you’re wearing the mask, Anonymous?” she asks.
“Because sometimes heavy metal is less about the music and more about looking really, really cool.”
”Right…”
You throw the goggles on and hike up your trenchcoat as you step outside your tent. The makeshift shooting camp in the middle of the Mild West was expansive, going on for hundreds of feet in a plane of tents and food cards juxtaposed by the flat, sandy ground and high mesas of the desert west of Equestira.
You turn your head and spot Eris dragging on a cigarette in a patchwork suit and tutu. ”Remind me to shoot the person who wanted to film a music video in the fucking desert.”
“That’d be the director.” You say heading over. “Not a fan?”
”Too hot, ruins my hair. You should have heard Chrys.” She says, blowing out smoke.
Right…the place the Changelings were banished to.
You wisely change the subject. “You see the cars we’re on?”
Eris practically purrs. “I get a comfy ride I can lay down on, I don’t know about you.”
“Giant speaker-mobile.”
”That’s pretty tight.”
“So this movie’s about cars or something?”
”Cars, guns, and I saw some chicks in wet clothes earlier.”
“Were they hot?”
Eris gives you the A-okay symbol.
“Nice.”
The two of you turn your head towards a ruckus coming from the primary costume tent, it sounded like Artemis.
“Want to be entertained before we earn our pay?”
Eris stomps her cigarette into the sand and takes your arm. “It’s a date.”
The two of you walk towards the central tent where all the costumes for the movie were being kept. Filthy had negotiated the use of the actual costume and props people for the video shoot. Procedure was that you report to this tent where they’d experiment and mix and match with what they had to find out what’d work best for the band.
”BLOODY HELL, HURRY UP!” you hear Sombra shout from outside.
Apparently it wasn’t going well.
The two of you walk inside and find Sombra standing in a T pose on a raised platform. Leather straps across his chest met in the middle and he was wearing chainmetal kilt. Two costume designers stood next to him, rubbing their chins.
Artemis was laughing in the corner.
”Hmmm…what if we added horns with a helmet?” one designer asks.
”Oh yes, please, let’s do that. I mean, to the parent’s rights groups, I’m already a demon.” Sombra says sarcastically.
You and Eris snigger.
”You two aren’t helping.” He says.
”Good, we aren’t trying to.” Eris chuckles.
“You look like some sort of weird sex roleplay guy.”
Everyone in the room gives you both incredulous looks.
”That’s some weird fetish, Anon…”
“Shut up. Put feathers on him.”
One of the designers claps his hands. “Ohhh! Feathers! Right at the top of the helmet, a glorious plumnage!”
Sombra stares at you with a face that could shatter the ground. “I hate you.”
You stick your tongue out and flip him off as you and Eris vacate.
The two of you walk through the production camp and find Chrysalis standing in wonderment in front of a vehicle. It was a monstrosity. A hodgepodge of random parts and speakers and horns attached to a chassis that looked like it could rattle apart at any moment, with a throne in the front for someone to stand.
Chrysalis looks back at you and points a finger at the death mobile. ”You’re going to ride that?” she asks.
She was nervous, you could tell. It was sweet.
“I’m going to own that car. Whole video, I’m looking the best.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes as Eris comes up next to you. “I dunno, have you seen hers?”
“No?”
The Changeling Queen rubs her forehead. Eris turns your head towards a small speedster with a 30 foot poll on the back.
”She’s up there.” She says.
You whistle. “Hope you’re not scared of heights.”
Chrysalis is not amused. “I could always use a nice cushion full of hot air to break my fall if I need to.”
“Sorry, but they made a big, safe, nice truck for me to ride on. I think they know what they’re investing in.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes again and makes a “yap yap yap” motion with her hand. “Where’s the other boys?”
”Getting dressed up like a pride parade and laughing about it.” Eris says.
“Respectively, that is.”
”Yeah, respectively.”
Chrysalis eyes the two of you and squints. “New Years aside, but is there something between you two?”
You and Eris look at each other and then say “I ‘unno?” in unison.
”And…action!” you hear over the speakers behind you. Engines rev and the crane camera attached to the leading car got into position. Music
You position yourself on your rolling stage as it roars to life and jam out a riff. Flying cameras launch up and encircle the fleet of vehicles when you jam out another. The intention with all this was, in essence, a gamble. This fleet of cars was too expensive and irritating to get multiple shots of, even ignoring what’d happen if someone wrecked, so you only got the one take.
Everyone had two cameras on them at all times and the convoy as a whole had a whopping five. You were going to drown the editors in footage from every angle you could.
The convoy speeds down the road in a herd of hellish engines. You stomp your foot as you play your intended notes.
Artemis rides up beside you in a mighty interceptor who’s wheels have been transplanted with tank treads instead, but built to not sacrifice an bit of speed. Behind you, the center of the convoy rides up. Sombra’s thunderous choir rig belches pitch black smoke into the sky as it jockeys for position in the group. On its back sit a half dozen thundering war drums leading up the ziggurat structure to the top where Sombra sits on a four-bass drumset.
Two smaller cars zip between the bigger rigs of the convoy. One with a large almost bed shaped hammock of some kind suspended in the back as it drove alone on three wheels, speakers bolted to the sides blasting sound. Eris lay in the hammock slightly swinging back and forth as she plucked along on her base, high heeled boots resting on the cab.
The final relevant hot rod lurches forward and loses its 30 foot pole it had attached to it. And the singer attached to the pole. Chrysalis grips her mic with one hand and grips the pole she was secretly harnessed to for dear life with the other. She screams the first crescendo of the song which signals the entire fleet to kick their engines, spraying smog and fire into the sky.
You and Artemis flick switches and stomp down as the convoy sprays up the golden sand into the sky where it mixes with your smoke and fire.
Chrysalis starts singing—or at least miming—as the technicians focus the cameras to capture every moment of footage they can while they can. Chrysalis starts singing while she can and you and Artemis shift to a more technical plucking of your guitar strings. Sombra slams his drums behind you as hard as he can.
Every sound and vibration you make is fed through the amplifiers and then set to eleven. Then someone draws a twelve and thirteen on them, then a little skull, and turns it to that. The sonic amplitude coming from the speakers sends sand flying in your wake.
The cameras re-position themselves around you as the chorus starts, the chorus you thought was lame but you were out-voted on so whatever, one angling low under Chrysalis to get a shot of her against the clear blue sky. You put on a show for the cameras and mouth along the lyrics for the boys in editing.
Once the chorus ends, your solo starts. The camera gets in as close as it can and your rig belches an inferno into the air. The solo is quick and plucky, just like the rough cut of the film you saw, before you go nuts with the notes to mirror the deranged feeling you got from the film.
Chrysalis’s car falls back a bit to tighten up the group more and her pole starts to swing back and forth. You see momentary fear in her eyes as she grips her safety harness tighter and dips closer towards you.
The cameras swarm over to the both of you as she sings and you reach your hand up.
Come on, you bitch…
Chrysalis’ eyes meet you for a moment and she catches your drift.
The two of you high-five at a hundred miles an hour.
As you watch Chrysalis raise back up, you see Sombra flourish and put on a show for the camera that zooms in on his face. Even here in the noise and wind you can hear him wail on his double bass. The drummers on the back of Sombra’s rig begin pounding again. At that same time, the lights on the cameras flick on as you enter into a small artificial dust cloud made by some support staff.
If memory served, this was the more calm bridge you wrote. Good for ambience, but terrible for acting. Everyone pulls scarves and goggles down around their faces to hide from the dust. The convoy rockets out of the dust cloud on wheels of fire and Chrysalis starts the last verse.
Stunt-men jump between the cars or bang their heads to the same rhythm all of you are that Sombra puts out on his drums. Chrysalis flies high over the convoy as she sings over the desert.
Each camera gets a money shot of you all as the cars burn their last nitrous and race past a camera on a crane. The lens captures you hauling ass out into the desert as the agreed upon finishing shot.
”Annd…cut! Excellent work, everyone!”
Finally!
You pull your scarf down and begin hacking and coughing as the cars come to a stop. Your hair was full of sand, your face had scrapes on it, and your fingers were raw.
But the worst part was that you were pretty sure you swallowed a bug.
You rifle through the posters and memorabilia at your fingertips. No…no…no…crap…crap…that one was porn. The Neighponese had both the best and worst merchandise in the world.
You’re so busy that you don’t notice the shop aide come up beside you. “Help?” she asks in her heavily accented tongue.
Uhhh…
“No, no thank you.” You say shaking your head.
The aide tils her head to the side still looking at you before she picks up a black shirt with red arrows on it. “Help?”
No. Fuck.
Eris hadn’t shut up speaking Neighponese the entire flight over and you stand there awkwardly trying to remember a word of it. Wait, shit, what was that apparent catch-all term she gave you?
“Uhh…欠 を 食べる.”
The aide blinks a few times and looks taken aback. “Hai?”
FUCK.
You put your hands together and bow to her. “欠 を 食べる.” You say again.
You begin backing out of the store, keeping your head bowed before you turn on your heel and hightail it down the street.
Smooth as silk, Anon.
Yoketo’s streets were kept cleaner than you were used to. No errant scraps of paper or bird shit anywhere, no fucked up paint jobs or dropped cups. Just clean orderly streets. It gave you the fucking willies, no city should be this clean, and there was no charm. This entire island needed to stop making movies about giant monsters fucking their shit up and actually have it happen.
You were kidding, of course.
Probably.
Still, it surprised you that Filthy had insisted you all come out here. According to Filthy, heavy metal had a giant underground scene in Neighpon where Equestrian values weren’t held onto so tightly. Not as hard as their idol values which were basically the same shit with skirts on, but it was at least there.
His logic was that in order to properly get your hooks into the region, you had to strike out early and keep striking. That meant attracting kids as much as it did adults. And so that meant you got to be special guests on the biggest national program, Happy Road Adventures: Cloth Friends Magicka.
Basically a kid’s show with puppets. You’d never heard of it.
It filmed out of this several block radius of functional amusement park style area where actors would be in character all the time while they filmed the show. The plan was for you all to meet the kids and parents before playing something for them.
That was the plan, anyway. The rest of the band might say “fuck that” and go do something more fun.
You hoped so, anyway.
You walked up to the hotel you were staying at to find Eris and head-what was she holding.
“Eris, what the fuck is that.”
”Hahn?” she asks, pulling her eyes away from her phone.
“That.” You point to the four foot long pillow she was holding under one arm like it wasn’t no thing. “What is that.”
”It’s my Dakimakura.”
“That's not a real word.”
”It's a local word, you gaijin.” She scoffs, going back to her phone.
“What is it FOR?”
”Cuddling in bed.”
You do a double take. “You’re going to SLEEP with that thing?”
”Oh relax, it’s not like it’ll take your spot or anything. I bought it because I liked the character.”
“…This fat bearded guy?”
”Ron-sempai is not fat, he’s big boned.” She raises the pillow of the blushing tub o’ lard to her face and nuzzles it. “And I like the feeling of his beard on my face~.”
You visibly recoil a bit.
”Pussy.” she says.
“Were you officially crowned Queen of Weebs or is it a self-claimed title?”
”Baka-gaijin.”
You sigh and stand next to her as people pass by you.
“Where’re the others?”
”At the place thing already, they went ahead.”
That was weird. “Why didn’t you go with them?”
”I figured we could walk there together.” She says as she puts her phone away.
Oh. Huh.
“Yeah…I’d like that, let’s boogie oogie.”
You take her free hand and start walking down the road, getting a nod from the doorman on the way.
“欠 を 食べる.” You say to him with a nod.
This earns you a gutbusting laugh from Eris.
“What!?” you exclaim.
”I can’t believe you just said that!”
“You told me to on the plane!”
”I was fucking with you Anon!” she cries as she holds in chuckles.
Wait…that means…
“Eris, what the FUCK have I been saying all day?”
She leans over and whispers in your ear.
…
”God fucking dammit.”
You and Eris end up at the studio lot where the episode is being film. VIP status got you past all the mothers trying to get their kids in to see the characters and maybe be in the background.
“Uhh…hi.” You say to the door guard.
Eris bows. Fucking weeb.
“We’re with the Neon Knights? We’re playing today instead of the Three Peace Band.”
This whole country had been all about that peace since the war. The guard nods as he checks his list “Through there.” He says with an accent.
You and Eris step inside into bizarre world.
It was a street, a fully functioning street with shops and stores and places you could get coffee. It also had people in full costume or animatronics or puppets where the puppeteers could hide and a gross of kids that were running around having a ball.
“Jeeze!” you shout as one bumps into your leg.
Next to you, Eris claps excitedly. “Oohhhh! I’m gonna go to Mr Barson’s shop first and then ride the S.S. SSSSSSSSSSS, And then eat lunch under the wishing tree!”
Wait.
“The S.S. what?”
“Bertie only had an S stencil.”
“You like this show? It’s for toddlers!”
Eris cocks an eyebrow at you like you were fucking retarded. “Do you KNOW how long Happy Road Adventures: Cloth Friends Magicka has been on the air?”
“Nnnnnnno? Is this just because you’re a weeb?”
Eris doesn’t pay attention to you, opting to look past and exclaim. “Sugary dream rolls!” before she runs off to a roadside food purveyor.
You slink off hoping to find some sanity somewhere.
You amble along down the road until a familiar voice catches your ear. ”-sure he didn’t mean it.”
“Huh?”
You turn your head and walk down an alley.
“Sombra?”
”I just don’t know.” Another voice says.
You round a corner and find Sombra sitting on a box next to what looks like a talking lemon with hair. Sitting at both their feet are about twelve kids.
”Oh, hey Anon.” Sombra says as all the locals turn to look at you. “Kids this is Anonymous. He’s my friend.”
The kids all wave or say hello, you offer a wave back.
“What are you doing back here?” you ask.
Sombra pats the lemon’s back. “Just helping my boy Bort here with some boyfriend troubles.”
What the fuck kind of name is Bort.
“Huh?” One of the kids pipes up. “Bort’s friend Arnie has been making him sad.”
Bort sighs. “He leaves his clothes out, he puts his feet on my chair.” Sombra reacts uncharacteristically concerned. “Have you asked him not to?”
Bort sighs again. “You know how he is.”
One of the kids chimes in. “Friends will always listen if they care about you.” The rest of the kids all nod and offer their agreement, Sombra points at the one who spoke. “He’s right.”
Bort sighs one more time. “I guess I should talk to him.”
“Really?”
Is this really happening?
Sombra looks up at you. “You…know this stuff?” you ask.
Sombra just stares at you for a few seconds. “Dude, everyone knows Bort and Arnie.”
This country is fucking bonkers.
You escaped the alleyway of insanity and continued down the road, looking for anything worth doing while you waited for the set. You found it hiding off in her own little corner of the world staring at a wall while sitting under a tree.
“…Hey Chrys.”
”Hey Anon.” she says.
You lean against the tree next to her. “What’s up?”
She looks away from you and blows air out through her teeth.
“Oh come on, don’t give me that. I thought we were close.”
”Having sex doesn’t make us close.”
“It does when you stay for breakfast. Come on Chrys, this is me asking. Not Arty or the others.”
The Changeling Queen sighs. “It’s these kids.”
“Hmmm?” You take a seat down next to her “What’s up?”
”I haven’t…been around kids in a long time. Not really.”
“Aaaand?” you ask.
”And so it got me thinking.”
You skootch closer as she talks. “I’m thinking how…in the past before everything, you know, happened. How I was a totally different person.”
“What do you mean?”
”It’s like…I was the Queen, the head matron of the hive. I took care of thousands of our young over the years…”
“…Any of your own?”
Chrysalis doesn’t answer and just looks away, you put your hand on her shoulder to try to comfort your friend.
”It’s been…so long since then, I knew I was bound to change.” She looks back at you with the slightest bit of sarcastic mirth. “I swear, I wasn’t as promiscuous back then.”
“What? You? Sleep around? Perish the thought.”
Chrysalis laughs that kinda laugh where you only exhale through your nose once, sharp and quick.
”Being here with these kids…I dunno, I just don’t think who I am now can be the mom to these kids I used to be.” She says lowering her head.
You pat Chrysalis’ shoulder.
”Well why do you have to?”
You and Chrysalis look behind the tree to where an 8 foot tall bipedal bird was standing. You hear Chrysalis’s face drop. “Bymyancestorsit’sPillaringPetrel.”
“Oh god, not you too.”
Pillaring Petrel walks around the tree and cants his head to the side. “Hi!”
“…Hello.”
Chrysalis meeps. It was cute.
”Are you guys with the new band?” he asks.
You nod. “Yeah, we’re filling in for the Three Piece Band.”
The bird ruffles its feathers. “Well, I bet you guys are gonna be really great!” He then looks around. “Oh. But…you’re here all alone…”
You nod again and point to Chrysalis. “You heard us talking before. My friend can be…skittish around kids.”
Petrel nods. “Yeah…I heard that…”
He waddles over to her. “What’s your name?” he asks.
Chrys looks up at him with big eyes. “…Chrysalis.”
”Hi Chrysalis…”
This guy had to know her reputation from the Canterlot invasion…he had to. ”Is it true? Are you afraid you can’t be like a mom to all the kids here?”
She nods.
"Gosh. Maybe you don't need to be a mom to these kids. They'll be happy enough if you'll just be their friend. Hmm...you used to be just like them. Be the kind of friend that you needed as a little girl." Petrel says.
The air hangs still for a moment with that just out there before Petrel scampers to the sidewalk again. “Well, it was nice meeting you! I have to go into town to meet my friends now, but I’ll see you at your show!”
You and chrysalis sit in stunned silence for a moment more.
“…Smart bird.”
”Yeah…”
”Anon? Let’s go hang out with the kids and play our song.” She says, standing up.
You rise too. “Any ideas?”
”I was thinking giving an old pop hit our own flair~” she coos.
“I know that smirk, what are you getting at?”
Chrysalis skips off down the street. “You’ll see! Now hurry up!”
Over the day, all of you had been caught on camera hanging out with the cast members and kids, Eris and Artemis even ended up in one of their skits about alphabet letters.
When they cut for lunch, Huey and the roadies came in and set up the instruments and amps in a corner of the street. Chrysalis stands at the mic and waits for the recording light on the cameras to come on.
You slide your hand down the neck of your guitar, holding one string while messing with your noise gate. You and Artemis smack out the simple chords that those preteen rejects wrote a decade back and bob around your simple performing space. Everywhere you look, you see happy faces and dancing kids. The cameras move around through the prepubescent mosh pit and capture everything they can.
The performers and actors were on point too, improvising dances and interacting with the kids. Parents who enjoyed it and kids who grew up listening to it obviously enjoyed the familiar lyrics with a new swing.
It wasn’t exactly the most technical song you’ve ever played, but it wasn’t about that. Power Chords existed for a reason.
In your mind, fun was what mattered.
You and Night Terror stand at your shared microphone and sing the chorus alongside Chrysalis as you rock the most magical street in the world.
-That night-
”Snort! Snort! Snort! Snort!” the four of you shout.
Eris sticks the straw to her nose, bends down, and snorts. The face she makes as the wasabi passes into her nose will be one you remember for all time.
”OH FUCK.” She exclaims as she falls out of her seat, rolling on the floor with wasabi leaking from her nose.
The four of you bust a gut laughing as she writhes.
You sip your drink. “I didn’t know you lot were all such big fans of that show.”
”It’s been on for years, Anon.” Sombra says. “Everyone here’s seen a few episodes.”
Chrysalis nods in affirmation. “Mhm. And it’s…nice having at least one thing out there telling kids to follow their dreams, whatever they may be.”
”Well I’m glad you think so.” You turn your head and see a tall lanky man with a scruffy beard walk to your table and extend his hand. ”Hi, I’m James.”
“…Hi James.” You shake his hand, he shakes the other’s hands as you sip your drink.
”I just wanted to thank you personally for the show you put on, we really appreciated it. You made the kids happy, I like when they’re happy.” he says.
Oh…well…
“Sure thing, James. We were happy to be there.”
James nods and waves as he walks off. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
You turn back to your band. “Nice gu-“
The rest of the band are all still staring at where James was with their eyes wide and jaws on the floor.
”Holy…shit.”
”I can’t believe he talked to us.”
"I can’t believe the creator of the show was so nice!”
”I can’t believe the only time I met him was when I had wasabi up my nose.”
At this point you weren’t asking anymore questions. You just sip your drink.
You fish your lighter out of your pocket and hold it up, illuminating the insides of the cave.
“Are you positive the Everfree is safe this far in?”
Chrysalis walks in behind you and pats your chest. “Quit your whining, I’ll protect you.” She holds up her first and greats a green flame around it, lighting up the cavern more.
”Hey Anon, mines bigger~.” She teases.
“Liar.”
”Pffft. You wish.”
“I don’t have to wish.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes and leads you deeper into the cave.
You glance at her. “…Kinda metaphorical, huh? Deep dark cave…you leading the way.”
”Oh stop.”
“Someone had to say it.”
Chrysalis leads you into a large circular chamber and throws her fire into the air, the flame splits into several smaller embers and take place around the room, illuminating it all and revealing its contents. Carved into the floors, walls, and ceiling were ancient hieroglyphs depicting ancient magical rites and the songs used to summon the magic of old. Above you murals of titanic figures battling in the sky and raining furious sounds and metals onto the ground at your feet were depicted. Around you mighty warriors did battle with terrifying demons in an orgy of death and destruction that had all but been lost to time.
”Killer…” you both mutter.
Chrysalis walks over to the wall and begins to copy down some of the musical chord hieroglyphs on a pad of paper. ”I told you this would be here.” Chrysalis says.
You run your hands over some etched stone carvings, trying to feel the power the original carver must have felt when he first played the solo they represent. “That you did…but why here? Why near Fillydelphia?”
”The Midnight Castle isn’t too far from here, we’d be bound to find some fonts of Tirek’s power here.”
You certainly felt the power.
Chrysalis and you spend the next hour or so recording the findings the cave had.
“Think this’ll help The Masterpiece along?”
The Masterpiece was a song the entire band had been working on collectively together for the past…well, as long as you could remember. You’d all poured your hearts and souls into it, trying to make it perfect. You’d taken all the raw fury you could muster and the images of other carved murals you’d found in caves like this one you’d found before and throwing every technical trick each of you could into it.
It had to be perfect, you were going to change the world with that song. And perfection took time.
”I think I found a good few things.” Chrysalis says, stowing her pen and paper.
“So now what?” you ask.
Chrysalis looks around and shrugs. “Quicky in the cave~?”
Normally by this point you’d be getting your fingers under Chrysalis’s shirt, but now…
“Uhh…”
All you can do is stand there and think about things.
“You know uh…maybe…not now, you know?”
Excuses, excuses!
“I mean it’s damp in here and this rock looks hard…”
Chrysalis cocks and eyebrow and rests a hand on her hip. “You are seriously turning me down?”
“I guess I am?”
You were expecting some prickliness but Chrysalis grins at you. “Is this about Eris?”
Shit. Chrysalis was always good at picking this crap…but she confided in you.
“I…guess?” you say rubbing the back of your head.
Chrysalis closes her eyes and chuckles as she walks over to you and puts her hand on your shoulder. “And what about New Years?”
“It’s…not New Years anymore, Chrys. It’s February, stuff’s changed, I guess…”
She pats you. “Right answer.
Oddly enough, then she kisses your cheek. “Don’t let them change too much, Anon. There aren’t enough guys like you in the world.”
“Eh?”
”Trust me, I’ve lived long enough to know that no lost kingdom or fall from grace equals the tragedy of the world losing one more truly nice guy.”
You feel your cheeks get hot.
“Uhh…thanks Chrys.”
She smiles, a warm smile of a good friend at you. “Don’t mention it. Now come on, let’s get back to the club and play our show, I’ve got to talk to Eris anyway…”
You start following her out of the cave.
“You aren’t gonna say anything, are you?”
”No you silly, just a warning.”
“That being?”
”That if she breaks your heart, I’ll snatch you up on the rebound so fast it’ll make her head spin.”
You feel your cheeks get red again as you head out.
Chrys and you get back to the hotel just in time to hear a wooden crack as you exit the elevator from the direction of your rooms.
You scoff. “Why does this only ever happen when we’re OUT!?”
The two of you walk down the hall and find Sombra and Eris standing outside Artemis’s room. Inside the room you could hear Artemis and someone really angry sounding screaming at each other.
”Hell's Bells, WHAT is going on now?”
”Artemis and his sister are having it out.” Sombra answers.
”She’s pretty pissed.” Eris says with a chuckle.
Princess Celestia was here? Princess Celestia could get angry?
”ENOUGH, ARTEMIS!” you heard from behind the door before it swung open. Princess Celestia barreled past the four of you towards the elevator as she stomped down the hall.
You all look at each other and then in the room. “Arty?”
”Are you dead?” Eris queries.
Inside the room, Artemis is kneeling on the floor as he picks up a mannequin head and his iconic Terror helmet. “Hmm? Oh…hello all.”
Chrysalis steps gingerly as she tiptoes through the carnage. Curtains are pulled down, the bed was a mess, and a shattered wooden chair lay in bits on the floor. “What…the HELL happened?” she asked.
Artemis sighs. “Celly and I got into an argument, what did it sound like?”
“Princess Celestia argues?”
”Our family is truly the ones to bring out the worst in us.” Arty says, holding his hands out.
Sombra looks around. “What could you possibly disagree on so badly as to warrant all this?”
Artemis sighs. “She doesn’t want me to wear my mask anymore.”
The room is silent as the four of you all share awkward glances.
”…What?” Artemis asks.
“Well Arts…”
”Is that so bad?” Chrysalis answers.
Artemis looks at each of you before he does that sorta nervous not-believing-you laugh people do.
"Heh…guys, come on, you know why I can’t do that.”
”Nnnnnno we don’t?” Eris says. ”Total loss.” Sombra adds.
Artemis puts his helmet back on the head and rights it on the desk. “How about because I almost ended all life on the planet and that nobody would want to see me up on stage?”
”Uhhh, excuse me?” Chrysalis says. “Because I’m pretty sure that describes everyone here but Anon.”
“I've got a plan and a bomb, I'm just waiting on the skull island lair, by the way.”
Artemis silently adjusts his helmet.
”Artemis?” Sombra asks, putting his hand on Arty’s shoulder.
The prince bristles. “I heard you I just…” He sighs. “No, no I want to wear my helmet. Celestia is just going to have to accept that.” He turns and looks at the four of you. “I’m…gonna go tune up.” He says before vacating the room.
The rest of you stand silently in the ruins of Arty’s bedroom, shaking your heads.
“He’s gonna pop at this rate.”
”The big idiot needs to learn to be himself…” Chrysalis says.
”We should pull his pants down on stage.” Eris replies.
You all look each other in the eye, silently conveying ideas. ”That’s stupid as hell, but we can all agree that we’re getting that helmet off his head sometime tonight, right?” Sombra asks.
“Oh, totally.”
The show was a few hours later. The final note hung in the air. Jizz would leak from the speakers if you lived in a perfect world.
Chrysalis throws a bottle of water into the crowd and turns, walking back to the drumset. Against her thigh she rests two fingers and gives you the signal.
Showtime.
You maneuver yourself around the stage, keeping Night Terror in the corner of your eye as he goes to rouse the crowd. Eris maneuvers behind him, having gotten a similar signal.
You pretend to mess with your dials in the middle of the stage as Terror walks past you, unawares.
Suddenly, Eris uses her child-bearing hips and bumps into Terror. The night lord stumbles a bit off balance and strikes against your outstretched leg, causing him to teeter.
”Gyah!”
The lord of shadows tumbles over your foot and crashes to the stage, his helmet flying off. Chrysalis acts fast and boots the helmet backstage.
As he gets to his feet, Artemis’s illusion begins to fade. His hair becomes less nebulous and his face is revealed from the shadows, cast in horror. His armor melts away to the t-shirt and jeans he had underneath.
Artemis looks up at you all, eyes sunken in as the truth of his betrayal came to light but too petrified to do anything about it. ”Y-you…”
”Sorry Charlie. This just aint your day.”
“You so sure about that?”
You point Artemis to the crowd who was behaving just as you predicted. Thanks to yours and other's efforts, heavy metal music was on the rise the world over, but it was still ostracized by many conservative elements. The fans of heavy metal were almost tribal in nature, a tribe of outcasts. Having felt thrown out of regular society, they banded together to make something new, and they always strived for legitimacy beyond the stereotypes of hoodlums and troublemakers, something that having a band full of legitimate villains didn’t help.
But this was their Prince, not only a public figure but the second biggest one you could get. And not only was he a fan, but he was contributing, legitimizing everything all these fans needed to hear.
To say they were deafening was an understatement.
”What…but how…?”
”They like you, you big lummox!” Chrysalis says as she hoists him up.
”Look out there.” Chrysalis points Artemis towards the crowd. “Out there is almost two thousand fans who you just made’s night. They’re never gonna forget this.”
”But…my reputation…they weren’t supposed to know.”
You roll your eyes and grab a mic. “Who here is HONESTLY surprised that Night Terror Nebula turned out to actually be Prince Artemis in disguise?”
The fans fall silent for a moment before they all laugh at the response.
You walk back to a red cheeked Arty.
“Now get the fuck up there and SAY something!”
You and Chrysalis push Artemis to the mic. ”Hey!” he cries before he realizes where he is. You hear him gulp to the mic as he grabs it. “Heeeeeeeeey.” He starts, walking with his guitar around his neck.
He gets a wave of cheers. Luckily, he also starts to loosen up. ”So, it sounds like my bandmates got tired of me being cooler than they were.”
The crowd responds again and the rest of you flip Artemis off.
”Of course they could have done so a bit more eloquently.”
You flip him off with both hands.
”So…what to do now that I have the mic.”
Oh shit. You grab your mic.
“Arty.”
”I could-“
“Arty.”
”Maybe-“
“ARTY.”
”WHAT Anonymous?”
Banter was important for the crowd.
“Yer a faggot if you don’t sing track 8 for us.”
Chrysalis gasps and claps behind you, running to your spare synth.
”Oh they don’t want to hear that.” Artemis teases.
“Fuck you, yes they do.”
Arty looks out over the crowd. “You wanna hear what I have to sing?” A roar of affirmatives was his response.
You strum some test notes as everyone takes position. Artemis smiles his first smile of the night. “Let’s see if I can remember all the words….ONE TWO THREE HIT IT!” Music
-Later-
Eris and you mill around the stage after the venue had cleared out. Most of the time you’d all go out drinking, but this was Arty’s night and his sister had basically whisked him and Chrysalis away, Sombra had followed. Probably to try and fuck her.
You were both fine with letting them go, there was treasure hunting to do.
”Ha! Got a wallet!”
“What’ve we got this time, Eri-bear?”
”Looooks like Allen Jefferson from Plainsville.”
“He looks like the most boring man in the universe.”
Come overs? Seriously?
“Prolly…”
Eris reaches back and tosses the wallet into a box you’d give to the venue owner later, you continue to look around for more loot that got dropped during the show, sweaters and unopened beers and the like, maybe a phone to leave a prank message on.
You also take the time to do something really stupid.
“So Chrys propositioned me earlier.”
Stupid mouth!
You don’t see Eris’s response. “Oh yeah? Any good? She do that thing where she bends over backwards?”
You rub the back of your head and look back at her. “I uh…didn’t take her up.”
Eris looks at you with her eyebrows up, honestly surprised. “You’ve seen her, right? Why not?”
Oh just say it, you fucking pussy.
“I uh…think I insinuated that we were together.”
Eris remains quiet for a moment, looking you in the eye. “…Because of New Years and all that stuff after, right?”
You shrug. “I guess? I mean you’re pretty hot and we’ve always been cool. I dunno, I just like being around you.”
Eris looks down at her shoes as she walks over towards you. She’s a bit sorter then you so you try to angle your head down to see her face.
That’s when she lifts her head up and gently presses her lips against yours for a few seconds. ”Cool, me too.” She says smiling.
Hehehe…You feel your cheeks redden again.
“Wanna let the others have their fun? Maybe go rent a shitty movie?”
Eris takes your arm in hers and starts to lead you out of the venue. “If you don't put out, I’m breaking up with you.”
You strum along with Eris at your back off in a corner of the green room. The two of you sitting in chairs with the other out of sight while you jam before the latest Canterlot show. These were important to a band, sessions where you were amped up for the show but could still let the creative juices fly, the perfect synergy of preparation and creativity. Songs and rhythms you made here could go onto the next album or something further down the line, who knew?
While the others mulled around getting ready or talking on the phone or eating bon bons, the two of you jammed.
“How’s it feel to you?” you ask.
”I think I need more gain…” she says as she adjusts her bass.
“Illuminating. Anything else?”
”Uhh…lyrics will be hard?”
“You suck at this.”
”Chrysalis writes most of our songs, what do you want from me!”
“You wrote that one smooth as hell song on the record!”
Eris’s head pops up. “This isn’t going on any of our records.”
“Why the hell not?”
She sinks down again. “…Too personal.”
“It doesn’t even have words yet!”
”Shut up! I’m invoking girlfriend rights! You have to shut up now!”
You grunt and roll your eyes, fucking with your guitar.
From in the hall, you hear a commotion.
“What now…” Sombra says.
The door swings open and four guards in resplendent golden armor with blue plumage enter in, taking position flanking the door and creating a path…That you were in the middle of.
Through the door comes the “tap tap tap tap” of someone walking down the hallway. Someone in heels.
”Oh no…” Artemis mutters.
In through the door comes the source of the noise, Her Highness Princess Celestia.
…Who was wearing a peculiar outfit.
”Sweetfuckinggod.” Sombra stammers and turns away. Chrysalis cackles under her breath, but you see her looking out of the corner of her eye.
You yourself find your jaw on the floor. God. DAMN.
Artemis however looks horrified. “Celly! What in Mother’s name are you DOING here!”
Celestia chuckles and holds her hand up. “Am I not allowed to come visit you at one of your shows, brother? You are out now, I would think this grand masquerade would be over.”
”And why in TARTARUS are you dressed like that!?”
The princess rolls her eyes and smirks. “I was teaching a late night class! I decided to stop by on my way back to the palace, the council is covering night court for you, again, and I’m not needed so I thought what better time? Excuse me if I didn't have enough time to stop by the palace and change out of my teacher's uniform.”
"Teacher's uniforms aren't that tight!"
"This was all the school had in my size! It doesn't matter what I wear, so much as what I teach!"
Artemis grimaces at mention of his covered responsibilities and backs down. Letting an awkward silence fill the room while Sombra controlled his spaghetti and Chrysalis avoided contact with someone she didn’t like.
“Uhhh…well welcome to the green room, we’ve got beef jerky on the table.”
Celestia’s eyes drift down to you and she smiles. “Ah Anonymous, always the most social out of this group.”
You swallow, you didn’t think it was a big deal. “I’m a butterfly. Also I’m the only one here who hasn’t had to fight you to near death so that’s probably helpful.”
She laughs again. “Very true.”
You strum a few notes.
“So, can we expect you out there tonight?”
Celestia crosses her arms and smiles as she looks around with her ever present smile. “I believe I will, I do enjoy the energy here.” Celestia says before looking down at you with a predatory grin. “Perhaps you can do me a favor, Anonymous?”
“I don’t do anything with children or animals.” You say.
Celestia covers her mouth and stifles a snorting, un-royal laugh from behind it. “Oh that’s good, I have to remember that…no, actually-“ Celestia bends down and stops next to your ear, whispering something soft and inaudible to the others into it.
She smelled like all the best parts of spring.
Before you know it she’s rising up and backing out into the hall again. “Break a leg out there little brother! Anonymous! Do try!” she calls before she starts down the hall. Her guards file out behind her and close up.
All eyes are on you.
”Well?” Eris asks.
”What’d she want?” Chrysalis says.
You were still trying to wrap your head all the way around her request…The princess too? Really?
“She said she wants us to bring back 80’s speed metal.”
-On stage-
The song ends and Chrysalis holds up the horns. You walk to your mic stand and grab a new pick, pointing at some young kid in the crowd. Chrysalis walks to the front of the stage and waves to the crowd and shielding her eyes from the spots to survey the venue.
She grabs the mic and continues to wave. “Hello Canterlot, the Knights are BACK!” The crowd cheers and you clap a few times, enticing them.
”Look at all these heavy metal maniacs here tonight…” she continues. They cheer again. “Are you all ready for some Neon Knights heavy-fucking-metal!?”
The crowd cheers.
”Are you ready?”
And cheers again.
”ARE YOU READY?”
And again.
”ARE YOU REA-DY!?”
Again they cheer their exaltation. Chrysalis points up to the shadowed royal box dead in the center of the stands and walks back a bit. “Arty! Anonymous! Do it!”
You and Artemis take your positions next to each other front and center. Music
You slide your fingers down the neck of your guitar as you depress your wham peddle and begin to play. Your pick is a blur of motion as you shred your way across the strings, becoming faster as you go down the neck again and hand off to Artemis.
Artemis bucks his guitar up and pinwheels is head around as his own fingers flow along the strings like water on a roof, tearing up to his pickups before he finishes and hands off to you.
You adopt a power-stance and begin the hard and heavy riff of the song. Sombra blasts some beats on the drum and counts down while Chrysalis grabs her microphone. You and Artemis stand next to each other on one side of the stage, mimicking one another’s movements as in-sync as you can considering you’re playing the same thing.
Chrysalis adopts a screeching high pitched voice that sounds to you like the edge of a razor as she sings.
You play the first of several bridges built into the song, using both your hands on the fretboard to do something quick and look around. The crowd in their leather and spikes and denim pound their heads with renewed vigor and strength.
No less than three circle pits were going on.
You glance up at the royal box and although it was cast in shadow, you like to think you saw some raucous movement in there. Aiming your guitar to the sky, you play to mat Chrysalis’s higher pitched singing that carries over the audience. Artemis bends his strings at an angle and produces an unholy sound at the end.
Chrysalis lets her hair fall and cover her face as she grips the microphone with both hands. The rest of you, even Sombra, pinwheel your heads around in rhythm with the guitars during the slower chorus.
The second verse was similar to the first, having an almost identical structure and chorus to it. That was because any dolt could tell that this song was built around the guitar solos, of which Chrysalis was leading you into.
She’s on one knee in front of you and Arty with her eyes closed and mic to her mouth, belting rapid fire lyrics that end in a harsh scream and Sombra shaking the ground with his drums.
You and Artemis face off again. Chrysalis uses her magic to turn the room blood red and you feel Sombra’s base drums shake the building under your feet. Outside a storm crashes and inside you’re fired up.
You start with a short downward riff while you fuck with your wham bar. He counters with a choppy beginning and screeching finish. You bust out a howling whine of your upper strings that you send out fast. Artemis catches and begins his solo where you left off to a note, beginning a shrill cry and sending out a complex noodling pattern with a flourish.
Hoping a step back, you get close to him, the two of you holding your guitars close together as you play the same climbing notes. Your notes climb and climb up the mountain until you reach the metaphorical peak and summon a bolt of lightning with a high note. The two of you separate as Chrysalis takes to the microphone again, clapping her hands as the song slows down and you and Artemis continue to slam notes out.
”HOY! HOY! HOY! HOY!” she cries.
”HOY! HOY! HOY! HOY!” they repeat as you play.
Chrysalis grabs the mic from the stand and begins to stomp around in circles on the stage, harshly banging her head before she begins to scream into the mic again.
When that’s done the song picks up its old rhythm for one last quick verse before you all take power stances and play faster and faster. Your music grows like a dam about to burst as you go high and harder and faster until you finally explode with a single final chord.
Chrysalis pops up from her pose and holds her mic up again. “All right, yeah…the person who wanted that knows who they are! You come backstage after this, we’ll treat you right…”
Oh THAT will be good.
-Later-
”Come on, tell them brother.”
”No! Sod off!” Artemis says.
Celestia puts her drink down on the table and pulls her brothers cheek. “But it was so…grandiose! Like something out of a tall tale one would tell children to scare them.”
”You already know what happened!”
”But your friends don’t!”
“Your highness?”
The monarch turns away from tormenting her brother and looks at you. “Celestia.”
“Right…Celestia. We all can pretty easily guess why Artemis and Chrysalis broke up.”
”Not like they hid it.” Eris says as she plays with her hair in your lap.
Her ears probably burning, Chrysalis walks back into the room. “Ah~ Another show said and done and another paycheck in the bank. Everyone did wonderfully out the-“ She looks at all of you looking at her.
”…What I miss?”
“Nothing.”
She narrows her eyes. “Don’t lie to your bandmate.”
“I just did. Don’t fight in front of the guest.”
The Changeling queen’s emerald eyes drift over to Celestia, still in her weird outfit and sipping a drink from a red cup while looking eerily relaxed. “Did the guards outside give you any trouble?”
Chrysalis doesn’t say anything for a moment before she sits down, having forgotten you. “No. But one of them was trying to look under the door.
Celestia closes her eyes and nods “Yes, which would be Helios. I’m afraid he’s a bit of a worrywart.”
”I’m surprised that he listened when you told him to leave.” Sombra says.
”As you well know, Sombra, one of the benefits of being a monarch is that your subjects have to do what you say.” She says as she levitates another beer from your cooler and pours it into her cup.
”Someone’s going hard tonight…”
Celestia smugly looks at her brother while she sips her drink. “What are you going to do, tell Mom and Dad? They left me in charge, remember.”
"Eons ago!" Artemis shouts.
"Take it up with them when they get back then."
“Oh so thaaaat’s why you’re the big boss around here.” You postulate
Celestia chuckles. “Well it certainly wasn’t my aptitude for politics.”
You lean back in your chair, no one else wanting to talk. “My my, was that a joke from the Princess?”
She holds her arms out wide and shrugs. “I dearly hope so, I can’t stomach the idea of someone wanting to willingly enter into the political. If only I had a sibling I could unload all the responsibility on so that I could go fulfill my dreams…”
”Oi!”
Celestia chuckles and sips her drink again at her brother’s expense.
“You’re…way more casual then the last time I met you." you say.
”I’m not working now. Or are you judging me privately through the image I’ve presented publically, Anonymous? I’d hope that this motley crew of all of them wouldn’t do that.”
You nod slowly. “I suppose that’s right…teacher.”
Celestia looks down at her outfit, seeming to notice it again. “Oh, this? I admit I fibbed a bit earlier, this is partially dress code and partially to tease Sombra with what he can’t have.”
The drummer looks away coughing. “I’m still waiting on my chocolates~” Celestia says.
Artemis rolls his eyes. “Sombra isn’t the only one she teases…” he mutters under his breath.
Celestia looks down at Artemis and sighs, closing her eyes and putting her cup down. “And there I think I’ll take my leave…”
She magics the door open and reveals two guards kneeling down to where the crack was. “Go clear the street, I’ll be leaving in a few minutes.”
The two stand embarrassed and salute before rushing down the hall. Celestia stands and floats her coat over. “Anonymous, can you walk me to the door?” she says on the way out.
You cough on your drink.
“Uhh…”
”Go ahead.” Eris says.
You look down at her, a bit gobsmacked. “Hurry or she’ll turn you to stone, trust me.”
“Right, right.”
Eris lets you up and you hurry out of the room.
You and Celestia walk silently down the hall of the venue leading outside. Even though the princess isn’t saying anything, you can feel her looking at you from the corner of your eye. You try not to meet her gaze.
”Sorry for putting you in that situation.” She says sympathetically.
“Huh? Wwwhat situation?”
Celestia sighs. “You were right earlier in the evening. I’ve had to fight each and every other person in that room with the fate of the kingdom on the line. I’m afraid that that leads to some…awkwardness in conversation.” She says, though still with what could be called a smile.
“It’s no big deal…Eris drunk, that’s awkward. This is…it’s whatever.”
Celestia snorts lightly through her nose. “To be able to be so blasé…I swear it comes from your age. Reach your first millennium and see if you’re not bitter yet.”
You reach the door and hold it open for Celestia.
“How in the world are YOU bitter?”
She smiles at you, you no longer caring or too buzzed to notice you’re looking her in the eye.
”You’re not the only one who wears a mask, Anonymous…the immoral is never as wicked as we pretend it is, and the righteous are never quite as good. An old centaur told me that once.”
You’re taken aback. “You? Really?”
Celestia puts her coat back on as her limo pulls around, she walks backwards out the door, still looking at you. “I’m far more interesting than my position as ruler of a country would have you believe, Anonymous.”
Killer…
Something quickly crosses your mind as she keeps walking. “Wait, don’t you need an umbrella?”
”Hmm? Oh the storm stopped once your set ended, that should make more sense to all of you very soon if you keep your pace.” She says.
One of her guards opens her limo door and Celestia sets one foot inside before waving back. “Take care, Anonymous! And do be good to that little chaos sprite in there, I put the most lovely flowerbed where her statue was and I’d hate to have to tear it up again.”
You wave but Celestia climbs in and drives off before you can respond. You look up and indeed see that the clouds are gone and the sky is clear now before you turn and head back to the band.
“Eris, come on! We’re already the last ones there!”
”That’s because we’re not degenerates!” she calls from the bathroom.
You adjust your shirt and small necklace.
“If we’re being invited here and actually going, I’m pretty sure we are!”
Eris walks out of the bathroom in a skirt and spats. “It’s rude to turn down an invitation…”
“Especially to this place if half the stories I heard about Photo Finish are true.” You adjust your belt pondering how Chrysalis even KNEW Photo Finish, let alone got these invitations.
Then you remember who you were talking about.
You see Eris mulling about behind you. “Rumors like…?”
“Rumor’s like she took the entire Wonderbolt team to her ranch in the country for a week and whatever they did there left Soarin’ with brain damage. Like that she’s been caught in the bushes outside Filthy Rich’s place with a camera. Like she-wah!”
Your world becomes considerably pinker as someone wraps something over your head, pulling it back. You look through the holes offered by your new mask to see a sigil of Eris’s upside down face in that “chibi” style she talked about on the fabric while the real Eris snickered behind you.
“Eris! Panties stay on outside of the bedroom!”
Eris guffaws behind you and leans on your shoulder as you peel the undergarments off. “Why so serious? They’re coming off once we get to the ranch anyway, you said so yourself.” She looks in the mirror at you.
“Actually-“
You feel Eris worm her fingers into your shirt. “-You don’t need this either.” She says.
“Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! We’re not gonna be late again!”
Eris smiles her catty smile and continues to try.
In the end you leave 15 minutes later than you already were.
You arrive at Photo Finishes’ private ranch after a bit of a limo ride and stand in the doorway, taking all of…it in.
The ranch was one big room with a few rooms shooting off from it. In the middle was a large ziggurat structure upon which sat the master of ceamonies for the evening, Photo Finish. In all black lether with a cat-o’-ninetales.
“Wow…” you say.
”Yeah…” Eris responds.
You and Eris walk along the soft, tantalizing red carpet among the other select elite around you. Many wore masks and lounged in depressed sections of the floor on velvet pillows sucking on either hooka pipes or each other’s faces. People were spreading…some lotion on each other and a heavy incense aroma filled the air. Behind you came a train of people running along the ground holding hands as they weaved in between either waiters dressed in feather-boas and tight pants that carried assortments of foods, meats, and pills or golden fountains that shot crystal waters, or wines into the air that guests lounged in.
”I told you, you were overdressed…”
“And I told you that this would be intense…”
”Oh you both have no idea…”
The two of you look over your shoulders at a fountain that was spewing milk chocolate. A hand sensuously reaches around the central basin. You feel Eris grip your hand tighter as the guest passes through the chocolate-fall and crawls on all fours through the milky delight below her before she looks up at you both with sharp emerald eyes.
“…Hey Chrys.”
She rests her head on the side of the basin at your feet and sucks on her fingers one at a time. “Hello Anon~ Eris~.”
”…You’re naked in there.”
Chrysalis snaps her fingers. Two young men immedietly come over to the fountain and start rubbing her back. “I am~”
“Is that sanitary?”
”I don’t have to think about that here, Anon~ It’s the perks of being famous~”
She was right about that at least. The band had been getting huge recently. Booking shows, selling albums, doing interviews, selling OUT shows, and swelling bank accounts.
”We’ve finally made it, Anon~ Back to the life we all deserve~”
Wow, she was out of it.
“Did you take something?”
She waves her hand. “A little bit of what Eris just took from that waiter.
As soon as the words are out of mouth, you feel Eris loop her arms under yours and gently rub your chest. It feels good.
”Anonymoooous…I want to see some of those pillowy pits~
Chrysalis titters as you look back at Eris in her sorta glazed over eyes.
“How many did you take?”
“Sshhhhut up!” Eris says “We’re famous now…stop worrying so much and enjoy it.” She says.
You ponder that until you can’t ponder it anymore. Which is about two seconds before Eris turns your head and shoves her tongue in your mouth.
For good or ill, you were not a very strong man when it came you your kinda-girlfriend. You feel Eris tug you away and hear Chrysalis laugh again. “Enjoy yourself, Anonymous~! And stop thinking so much…Take my lead, I’m going to lounge here a bit longer then have these two gentlemen clean me off with their tongues…”
“That sounds-“ you get out before Eris pulls you out of earshot.
You fall onto the pillows Eris pushes you onto and grunt as she straddles you, planting kisses on your face and neck while she gets your shirt off.
Time seemed to lose meaning as you breathed the incense in and laid on the pillows that were softer than a cloud. Your last thought is Chrysalis’s advice.
”I love this city!” Artemis shouts out of the sunroof double fisting expensive champagne.
You tug at his belt. “You’re drunk as fuck!”
”Who cares, so are you!”
Artemis gets pulled back into the limousine as it gets into a busier street. He laughs as he pours himself and Spitfire another drink.
“You almost got your head torn off!” you say laughing.
”Oh I’d have been fine.” He says, wrapping his arm around Spitfire’s as they clink glasses and drink.
Eris giggles in your lap. You pet her fluffy hair. Over near the front of the limo, Sapphire Shores leaned into Hoity Toity and showed off the stunning legs that she got paid for.
Unf.
”Darling tell us again about your idea to liven up this town.” She says, sniffing and rubbing her nose.
”Okay okay okay.” Eris says, holding up her hands. “Picture? Chocolate. Rain.”
Sapphire sips her glass. “This girl is a genius.”
”A true visionary” Hoity says.
“Damn straight!” You bend down and peck her forehead.
The voice of your drive comes over the intercom. “Sir? We’re pulling up now.”
"Oh shit shit shit!” Artemis says as he stoes the drink. “Who’s ready to see this moviiiie!?”
”Here here!” the car shouts.
As the limo pulls up to the carpet, the six of you climb out and greet the cameras.
-Tuesday-
You down your shot and slam it on the bartop. “Another!”
Your friend and comrades around your cheer as the barkeep pours you another drink.
”Heeeeey!” Sombra shouts as he lifts his stein. From the other side of you, the members of Fuckface Academy patted you.
”Can’t believe we ran into you here!” their drummer says.
Sombra sips from his mug. “Well believe it. We love this tavern, don’t we, Anon?”
“Come here every time we’re in town.”
You noticed as your fame rose, more and more people noticed who you were even without the mask. You’d have to be more careful.
Their bassist, a cute little thing, what is it with chicks and bass? She comes up to Sombra. “Photo?”
He throws his enormous arm over her shoulder and holds up the horns. “Anything for a fan.” He says posing. Sombra and the girl snap the picture quickly, but it’s all for naught. A burly man bumps into the girl and knocks her camera down, smashing it on the floor.
”Dude!”
”Not cool!”
The mountain of muscle looks over his shoulder and scoffs at the two of them. “Piss off.” He says.
You down your mug and turn to the rest of the Academy. “And here’s why we love this place.”
You hand your mug back to Sombra who takes it behind his back. You reach for a stool just as Sombra brings the mug down on the guy’s face and punches his friend.
If you hurried, you could get out of here before the cops showed.
-Thursday-
Your eyes are closed.
”Okay, thanks.”
A door shuts and you hear someone walking around the bed.
“What is it this time?” you ask, eyes still closed.
”Box’a Prench chocolates.” Eris says.
”Room service guy get a look at your cooter?”
”I don’t think so, this robe is long enough.”
You open one eye and look up at her in the afternoon sun. “That robe barely covers your ass.”
”It’s fiiiiiiine.” Eris says as she eats some of the chocolates.
You hold your hand out and lightly grab her fingers, rubbing them a bit. “You gonna share those?”
”Mmmm. Thought I might just use my day off to eat them all and drink all the wine. Maybe take a bath.”
“You’re gonna get fat and ugly unless you work that off.”
Eris turns and looks around the hotel room. Full of crap. “I think I have an exercise machine here somewhere…”
She play pulls away, but you tug her closer until, like an alligator, you snatch her by the waist and throw her over the you onto the bed. Eris descends into giggles as you nip at the back of her neck. “Stop! Stop! You’re gonna make me spill.”
“We’ll clean it up later~”
You slide your hands under the too-small robe and towards Eris’s chest, getting a slight moan from her as she finally relents and leaves the chocolates on that side of the bed.
She bends her head back and kisses you lightly. “You know, we’re probably going to have to do something else today too…”
You start getting the rest of that robe off. “Yeah, we’ll bone on the couch and watch cartoons at the same time.”
-Friday-
The five of you duck out the back door of the club all laughing into the night.
”Great job tonight, boys!” Chrysalis says.
”Hey.”
”And Eris.”
“Your snares were spot-fucking-on in there, Sombra.”
”Pfft. Says the guy who played that solo.”
”He wouldn’t have had anything to play if not for Chrys’s songwriting.”
”Someone’s trying to score a handy~” she coos.
From down the alley you see a kid, no older than 18, look at you. “Yo, over here!” he calls to his friends.
Chrysalis looks up. “Another fan…I’ll take this.”
“Knock ‘em dead, slugger.”
Chrysalis rolls her eyes as he walks away from the group as the three youths walk towards her. “Boys! Autographs are usually held by the club but for fans-“ ”Fucking save it, poser!” one shouts.
Another rears back and with a push of his throat, spits on Chrysalis.
”Whoa!”
“Dude!”
The four of you can’t believe what you see, can’t react as one of the kids jams his finger in Chrys’ face. “You used to be fuckin’ better than this, man. Better than making videos for some fuckin’ movie or getting photographed at some fucking fuck-ranch or selling us toothpaste!” Another leans forward. “This is how we treat fuckin’ sell outs in this town, bitch.”
“Hey! Fuck off you little bastards!” you shout as you and the others run over to help Chrysalis, finally shaken from your stupor.
”Oh shit!” The three kids drop their skateboards and haul it down the alley.
You run around the frontman.
“You okay? Did they do anything?”
”Here, hold still, this’ll come out.” Eris says.
Sombra snarls and Arty pats her back. “Kill those little fucking-“ Sombra starts before Chrysalis holds her hands up and shoos you all back.
She walks out of the circle you’d all made around her into the light of a billboard standing on top of a nearby building featuring Sombra’s grinning face offering a crystal shine to teeth.
Chrysalis sighs and holds her arms. “Someone get the car around here…”
You were walking down the sidewalk in the downpour with your hands in your pockets and coat hiked up. This city had an almost oppressive quality to it that you’d never noticed before. The almost black water stained buildings contrasting with the gaudy neon lights illuminating all the convenience stores, shoddy motels, and strip clubs contrasted well with the season biting winter cold you’d heard about, on its way out as spring set in in early March.
It’d been about ten days since the events of the back alley, when those fans had spit on Chrysalis, and everyone’d been dealing with it their own way. The band hadn’t play a show in the entire time, which was public knowledge. You had scheduled yourselves to get one week off at the end of every month of touring so you didn’t all burn out or kill each other.
What they didn’t know was that you’d all barely seen each other at all during that time.
Sombra claimed to have drifted around in a camper the entire break, camping in the wilderness and going to “clear his head”. Eris had spent much more time than usual at her apartment in Manehatten, you had barely spent time with her which sucked hard. Artemis had actually spent all of his time in Canterlot seeing to real-people politics and leading a sudden expedition into the Graveyard of the Forgotten in the Forbidden Forrest, something about a mysterious magical drifter causing trouble, but nothing had come from it. Whatever, you knew Artemis and you knew when he was distracting himself from his thoughts.
And Chrysalis…well…
The Changeling Queen had taken it the way she takes most critiques of her character, personally.
You come up on the hotel the road crew was staying at in the nicer part of town and look up through the rain. The light from the room on the eighth floor was on and the door open to the balcony. You sigh and walk under the veranda over the front door, shaking yourself off and joining the other leaning on the wall.
“She still at it?”
”Yep.” Sombra says, taking a drag on his cigarette.
You look past the mountain-man at the light again.
“How long’s it been?”
”She was in that room when I got to this city and working the entire time, you?”
Same…”
Damn.
You lean back against the wall. “Was she always like this?”
Sombra gets that far off look in his eyes that people who’ve lived for a thousand years get sometimes. “She’s always had an ego about her…”
“Says the self-proclaimed king.”
”You know what I mean.”
You did.
“Like Eris-ego bad or…?”
Sombra shakes his head lightly and drops his cigarette, stomping it out. “Not as big or as all-consuming, but definitely more fragile. It used to be no well-kept secret that you could bait an attack by the Changelings right when you wanted it by insulting Chrysalis’s character.”
From up above, a plastic bag filled to the brim with energy drinks clangs and clatters into the dumpster underneath the balcony.
“…Those kids did more of a number on us than I thought they would.”
”We did it to ourselves.” Sombra says exhaling the last of his smoke. “We set ourselves up after we started with those humble intentions and it’s no wonder we got toppled so easily. We let it all go to our heads.”
You sigh again. “Ready for the show tomorrow?”
”As I’ll ever be.” He says.
You pat him on the shoulder and head to the door. “Later.”
You head up to the room you and Eris were in and open the door. The room was clean of almost all clutter. The room was NEVER clean of almost all clutter.
“…Eris?”
”Here…” you get from inside the room.
You walk in and shut the door, finding Eris laying on her side at the foot of the bed watching her animes like a dead leopard laying on a tree branch.
“Hey…”
You take a seat on the lounge at the foot of the bed. “What happened? Where’s all your stuff?”
She blinks slowly. “I sold it.”
“Whaaaat? Why?”
”They didn’t make me feel good anymore.” She says flatly.
“So your car?”
”I don’t know how to drive anyway.”
“Sir Bearington?”
”He’ll have a better home.”
“…The custom handcuffs?”
”I could tell you don’t like them.”
“Yeah but you did.”
Eris half-heartedly shrugs on the bed and watches tv. “I just wasn’t feeling them anymore…sorry.”
“Are you still feeling me?”
Eris tears her eyes away from the tv and looks at you. “Yeah, of course.”
The two of you look into the others eyes for a bit. “…Okay.”
You recline in the lounge and look at the tv, maybe Eris was right in her doldrums… “So who’s punching who now…?”
-The next night-
The four of you climb out of the car behind the open air venue you were playing at as the roadies start moving gear out.
”Alright lads and lass, breaks’ over, let’s get back to it.”
Eris and Sombra skulk towards the edge of the stage and peek out. ”How’s the turnout?” Sombra asks.
”A little less than we’re used to…” She turns back to him. “Do you think they know?”
“Know what?”
Eris puts her hands in her pockets and kicks the gravel once. “You know…that we sold out.”
”We did NOT sell out.” The four of you turn your attention to Chrysalis walking down the stairs from backstage, she carries papers with her. “And I’m not letting those little snots tell us that we did. All of you, here.”
She passes the papers out, you look at it.
“A new song?”
”Something that we’re gonna blast at 13 until those little bastards hear us and eat their words.” She looks over at all of you with icy green eyes. “All of you who can, now’s the night. No more fucking around. Filthy says our magic can affect the world? Tonight we’re putting that to the test.”
The four of you are silent until Artemis speaks first. “Chryssy, I don’t-“ Artemis gets a smack upside the head for his trouble. ”We are NOT the half measures band anymore!” she shouts over your stunned silence.
Chrysalis looks at all of you with fire in her eyes. “THAT kind of “oh we can’t do this” stuff? THAT’S why those punks got under our skin, THAT’S why what they said hurt. We were living it up but we didn’t DESERVE it because we were not living up to our potential.”
She pounds her chest with her fist. “We’re THE heavy metal band on the continent. Ours is a world of sound and fury, fire and blood. If our music can alter the world then the world had better be ready because the train is barreling into the station.”
You silently look over your paper. “So…am I taking this solo or is Artemis?”
You all silently take the stage in utter blackness and start your song as suddenly as you can to surprise the crowd.
The song opens with a shared chorus that you belt with as much fire in your stomach as you can. After that came the riffs, something simple and heavy to draw in the working class people here but with as much power as you could muster. You weren’t sure how this music magic was supposed to work, but you did what was natural and felt the stage hum beneath you. Surely that was Sombra slamming out on the drums behind you. Chrysalis leans on a leg resting on an amp in front of her and overlooks the crowd while she sings. You float around during her first verse and try to look cool until she finishes and you start playing again. This time when you and Artemis harmonize, you see soundwaves erupt over the cheering crowd and knock the snow off a line of trees.
HOLY TAPDANCING MONKEY-BALLS, IT WAS WORKING.
Sombra hammers into his drums as hard as he can behind you, cracking stones with his force while Eris strums along her bass and vibrates your very bones. Chrysalis continues to sing and all at once, without provocation, the crowd screams at the exact moment she called for it, almost entranced by the music.
By Celestia’s resplendent ass, it was working!
You flash an amazed and happy grin to Artemis who mirrors your enthusiasm. The fire in your stomach flared again and released cold nitro into your blood, burning away the despair the jeers had caused and making you feel like your skin was as thick as the metal you stood on.
What could possibly compare to this after all?
The metal gods continue to smile upon you all as the song keeps going, Chrysalis leading the crowd in the catchy-as-fuck chorus she wrote.
”LOUDER THAN HELL!” the shout.
You stand beside Chrysalis as she calls for and play a pair of shredding bridges that arc lightning between the pot lights above you. Chrysalis raises her fist to the fans and gets a sea of fists in return, all raised in solidarity with her and drinking in the energy you exuded. She looks over to the far off mountain range Canterlot sat in with a maddened, almost seeming to try and find the naysayers who’d kept her down and daring them to do it again.
Another chorus goes, the voices shaking the ground and making the stage rumble with raw power as your solo started.
You rear back, climbing the neck of your guitar each time before you start proper. Putting your foot on the ledge near Sombra’s drum set and locking eyes with him, you shred across the guitar. Lightning arcs from the stage and into the sky as well as down your amps, attracting to the nobs on the end of your guitar and along your strings. At first, for a moment, you fear it. Then you feel the electricity enter into you and become a part of you, guiding your fingers along the frets and making you feel for a moment as if you could connect to every metal fan in the world and treat your guitar as an extension of your own body, tapping into Tirek himself. And as you did that and finished your solo, something very old and very far away felt its heart beat again.
You float again as Chrysalis and Sombra play. You take this time to grab a new pic having either melted, disintegrated, or lost the old one with your metal. Chrysalis kneels over and holds a clawed hand to the air as she screams the chorus into the microphone multiple times, each time urging the audience to join along with a “LOUDER!”
As soon as the song starts, it ends, with you sliding your pick down the neck of your guitar as the lights come on showing Chrysalis holding her arms out to 10,000 fans going more ballistic than you’ve ever seen. You’re close enough to hear her say “Now that’s how you make a comeback…”
The power you felt and the feats you saw after just one song of letting go made it hard to disagree. It also made you hungry to see what other awesome shit you could do.
You and the others were backstage in your tent at Bawken, everyone was preparing for your set. From here could hear the roar of the crowd as the band ahead of you finished out and you wrapped your hands in grip tape.
Eris shivers on a chair next to you. “Why did we have to come all the way to Asgaaaaard? It's too cooooool.”
“You're in a fur coat, hun.”
”My face is cold, come rub your beard on it.”
“Maybe after the show.”
She groans next to you and sits in her chair upside down. “Why are you so fussy? They treat us like royalty here.”
”Three-fifths of our band are actually royalty,”
“Whatever.”
”It matters.”
“WHATEVER. The point is that our music is way more accepted up north here and it shows, why are you fussy?”
”I want to wear my coat on stage...”
“Fur jackets are not metal.”
”I could take it back.”
“Is this like that time you tried to take racial slurs back?”
”I'd've done it too if not for that stupid cop...”
You roll your eyes and finish buttoning your suit.
“Mask me, sweet stuff.”
Eris wings your green question mark mask at you. You catch it and pull it down over your head, adjusting it in the mirror before you turn to her.
“Ready to rock and rumble?”
Eris's pensiveness over the cold vanishes as she rises up and lets her coat fall off, wearing some sweats and a long sleeve shirt underneath. “Ready.”
You and Eris grab your guitars and walk along the path to directly backstage.
The rest of the band is already there, turning to greet you. “Just in time, you two.” Chrysalis says “And not a drop in your hair, Eris.”
”Shaduuuuuup.”
She chuckles and waves you into the huddle. ”Okay...crew is finishing set up. These folks are way more manic than our usual fair, but that doesn't mean we take it easy on 'em, huh?”
”Hell no.” Sombra says.
”Damn straight. That means we play our guts out, melt some faces-”
”Potentially literally.” Artemis says.
”-and we make this one for the record books, feel me?”
You and everyone else nod.
”This is BAWKEN, guys. Before us, it was the only bastion for metal in the world. Let's give it what it deserves.”
Chrysalis puts her hand in between all of you. ”HATE'S GREAT!”
The rest of you put your hands on hers and break to “BEST VILLAINS!”
The five of you head out onto the stage, before a crowd that stretched beyond the horizon.
Chrysalis grabs the mic as you all get in position. “HELLOOOOOOOOO ASGARD!” She grins and slacks the cord to the crowd. “ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HEAVY-FUCKING-METAL!?”
The crowd erupts again.
”ALRIGHT! Well the Knights and me got a NEW SONG for ya!”
You wave to the crowd and prepare.
”That's riiiiight a single coming to a place where any not-shit records are sold! Premiered here first and live! At Bawken...If your socks get blown off to hard, go grab 'em at the front gate!”
Chrysalis turns her back to the crowd as you and Arty take the front of the stage, putting your hands in the weirdest fretting position possible for this intro.
For the briefest of moments your heart is in your throat and you choke, but not from fear. Reaching as far as your eyes can see is a veritable sea of people, an ocean of fans.
Your fans.
To see so many sentient beings gathered together in this one spot fills you with a kind of awe, but the knowledge that it’s you who they’ve all come to offer reverence elevates it to new heights. It makes no difference how many times you’ve seen it in the past or will see it again, the experience is fresh with each iteration. Unnumbered multitudes shout your names and fill the air with their adoration and it sets your blood afire. Is it the same for Celestia, you wonder? Is she filled with the same energy when the masses scream her praises?
From the corner of your eye you glimpse Artemis drinking in the crowd’s energy and reveling in the sensation. At your fore Chrysalis does the same, but much more literally, her face a mask of near euphoria. Unwilling to tear your gaze from the scene you miss how your other compatriots are handling the attention, but you can only imagine it must be similar for them. Then all at once the moment passes. You swallow your heart and in your mind everything is still. All that exist are the instrument in your hands and the song in your mind.
As one you all raise a hand to sky in salute to the progenitors of your craft and the crowd responds in kind.
The first mighty chord is struck with such power that the snow covering the glacier you stand upon is blasted away.
Standing in an eerie calm before the storm, the six of you all stare straight down as the song opens with faces obscured by masks and flowing bangs while lightning flashes through a clear sky as punctuation to the notes you hammer out.
Soon the music picks up and the calm shatters. A gale kicked up by the furious playing whips your companions’ hair into a frenzy and makes you grateful for the mask you wear. Magical energy arcs from each enchanted instrument with every note to create a dazzling light show all around you. And in the eye of the storm of metal and magic Chrysalis stands stock still with eyes closed and arms held out to her sides.
Slowly she raises her head and her eyes fly open, twin flames of fel magic springing to life as all save Ahuizotl’s keyboard go silent.
”On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light. In flame’s of death’s eternal reign we ride towards the fight.”
In response to the words notes of steel tear forth from your instruments to accompany her. Eyes blazing bright with fury, Sombra is a maelstrom of thrashing limbs as he pummels his drums with strength to sunder stone. Hair as white as the snow surrounding you whips around Eris as she thrashes her head back and forth in time with the music.
Channeling magic through his strings, Artemis casts a glamour and great wings of pure black unfurl from his back and spread wide.
The world itself seems to shake from the might of your performance. Almost lost through the cacophony you notice small cracks spider webbing through the ice beneath your feet, though you pay it no mind. Chrysalis clutches the mic close in an almost desperate grip, screaming the lyrics with an unfathomable passion. As she holds that last note the collected energy of the numberless masses explodes forth from within her and wreaths her in emerald witchfire.
When the last word fades away you and Artemis take over while she catches her breath. Fingers a blur as they dance across your strings with inhuman speed, you coax a chorus of piercing screams from your mighty axe while the Prince of the Night follows alongside with his own siren song.
The speed at which you play catches falling snow in a whirlwind to create a small storm about the two of you.
Lightning cracks through the storm summoned from the sparks that fly from your strings each time a pick strikes.
A smear of red on the neck of your guitar catches your attention for a moment and you suddenly become aware of a cut the strings had made in your middle finger. Your lips pull up in a grin while the dull pain encourages you ever onwards.
Artemis’s enchanted wings suddenly explode in a brilliant nova that sends tendrils of starry midnight across the sky and dispels the blizzard that engulfs you. The crowd roars its approval at the spectacle and the cracks across your icy platform grow yet more from the cacophony. Ablaze with evil fire Chrysalis reaches up to claw at the sky while she sings. The ground begins to rumble as though alive while a sickly green glow begins to emanate from the ice.
The glacier heaves and tears and soon cracks open up all across its surface that widen into great rents that belch out torrents of changeling fire. Wracked by the display colossal chunks of ice to break loose from the glacier and fall to shatter against the frozen ground beneath, though the noise is almost completely drowned out by the cheering of the crowd and the wailing of the guitars.
More and more you become aware of the pain in your left hand as yet more cuts open up across your fingers. Heated to near boiling by the magic flowing through your strings, the blood slicking your guitar drips down from points along its neck to fizzle and spit on the frozen ground.
Then with one final, piercing note you and Artemis release your instruments and along with Chrysalis raise your hands to the sky, first and last fingers of both hands extended to form the horns of metal. Countless hands rise from the sea of bodies to join your own while the changeling queen begins the chorus and you add your voices to hers. A warm wetness runs down your left arm while you hold it high and thin streams of red slowly soak into your sleeve.
The second time around the crowd raise their voices to mingle with yours. The resulting noise shakes the very ground you stand upon and seems almost great enough to awaken even Grogar from his slumber. The voices still and quick as lightning you and Artemis take up your instruments once more while Chrysalis uses her reprieve to summon a bottle of water to herself from offstage.
Summoning every ounce of energy you possess you lay into your instruments with reckless abandon. Suddenly energy surges through your strings and when next your pick makes contact it’s overloaded with magical power and shatters in your grip.
Mindlessly you switch to your fingers without missing so much as a single note. Fortunately you keep your nails long for exactly this reason, though you wince inwardly as the strings begin to dig into them. In your mind you can see the extra picks in your suit’s pockets, but to grab for one would result in missing notes and that is unacceptable.
So you play through the pain feeling more alive than you ever have. Your treacherous strings open cuts along the fingers of your left hand and split the nails of your right, but you carry on regardless with only the music in your thoughts. Artemis seems to be faring better, paying you no mind while completely lost in the moment. Magical lightning courses over every inch of him making him shine like a star. Then all at once the star burns out as he ceases playing.
You lose yourself to the music and your hands seem to move of their own accord over your guitar at a speed no mortal eye could follow to unleash a relentless sonic barrage. While your strings spit pure steel Artemis makes a show of grabbing a beer and cracking it open. Casually he leans back and guzzles half the bottle’s contents while making a point of looking anywhere but at you. The display is lost upon you, though. You see the motion but barely register the action as consumed as you are by the music.
Then with one last echoing shriek your solo ends and it’s Artemis’s turn. He abandons the bottle which remains floating in the air on an aura of magic and begins his answer to your challenge. Taking advantage of the brief respite you saunter over the floating bottle and snatch it from the air with your bloodied hand and down the rest of it while snatching a spare pick from your pocket. Once empty you toss it away to shatter against the ice and take your guitar back up as his song yields to yours. Having a fresh pick in your hand leaves you feeling invincible and with renewed vigor you dive back into the music and let it overtake you.
You feel almost detached as you shred out note after note, as though you’re only a conduit for the song rather than the one giving it life. Springing into action once more Artemis takes up his guitar again and together you forge metal the likes of which hasn’t existed upon this world in living memory.
In perfect harmony you give birth to a storm of chaos. Perfect in its conception it consumes and becomes you, making you into vessels for its arrival in this world. Abruptly the storm abates and Chrysalis breaks her silence.
Sombra and Eris add their voices as backup to hers while Artemis throws his head back and howls out a note as high as the heavens alongside. Mighty and unrelenting, the music seeps in through the rents in the glacier and fills it with a power it cannot contain. Vast sheets of ice are blasted free as its surface is raked with heavenly power in the form of lightning from the sky and green fire from below. Steam rises from the boiling blood on your strings while ethereal energies writhe across Artemis’s. You play with unrelenting fury to craft a tribute worthy of your forefathers, those two first great titans of metal.
All the while the world falls to pieces around you and reality itself shudders under the iron onslaught. Even time seems to warp under the strain. Each note seems at once to hang in the air for an eternity and only a fleeting moment. But not even the rending of time and space is capable of forestalling the end, but you hold onto that final moment for as long as possible.
The final screams of your instruments carry out over the frozen wasteland with a triumphant finality, carving themselves into the very landscape as testament to their existence. But soon the moment passes and all is silent...until the crowd explodes into cheers again.
The five of you wave, you a bit weakly due to your hand.
Eris hurries over to you and looks you over. “Really!? Through the bandages too?”
“I'm enthusiastic...”
Eris waves a medic over and pushes you to the side of the stage. A quick glance to the others and they know what's up, Sombra starts a drum solo to cover. With one last look you survey the effects of the power of your metal. The fans, the glacier, the latent magic, all of it.
“Do you think we'll get eco-nuts protesting our shows now too?”
You open the fridge and frown in despair. “Eriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis...”
”Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” you hear from the other room.
“We're out of milk.”
”That sucks.”
You walk into the living room where Eris is watching cartoons and having cereal and chocolate milk still in her pajamas.
“So we need to go get some.”
”Anon, what day is it?” she asks.
“...Thursday?”
Eris chews another spoonful. “It's our day off the band.”
“Yeeeeesss...?”
”And so why would we go out and do stuff on our day off?”
You're silent for a minute. “Because I want milk.”
Eris falls on her side onto the couch, her cereal continues to float and be fed into her mouth. “Nnnoooooooooo...”
“Eeeeeeeeriiiiiiiis...”
You walk over, grab her foot, and start tugging. “Come on, sometimes we have to go out and do things.”
”I'd rather we stay in and do me.”
You cross your eyes and put your teeth in front of your bottom lip. “Hurr hurr hurr.”
Eris mirrors your expression. “Hurr hurr hurr hurr.”
“Come on, seriously, I want milk.”
Eris rolls her eyes. “Why do you wait till now to do this? Why not get some roadie to go?”
"Because I'm not a worthless sack of shit.”
”I am.” she responds.
Pfft.
“You know you can't make chocolate milk without the milk, right?”
Eris is silent for a full ten seconds before she retorts. “...I'm magic, I probably could.”
“But you might not be able to.”
”Y-you don't know that.”
“I know that there's a 100% chance you'll have chocolate milk if we go to the store.”
She's silent again before speaking softly. “I want to get cookies too.”
“It's a deal.”
”Let me find my pants then.” she say as she rolls off the couch.
A few minutes later the two of you are walking down the road from your house. Eris knits her fingers between yours in the cold early spring air as you go.
”So I'm thinking of getting something pierced.”
You try to suppress a surprised cough. “As an effected party of that bit of you, I must express my discomfort in the thought of metal there.”
Eris shoulder checks you lightly. “I meant my nose or ears, ass.”
“You were being vague, fuck you. I get your ears, but why your nose?”
Eris shrugs. “Tirek had a nose-ring in the old tales.”
“You're old as dirt, were you really not around when the old man was knocking about?”
Eris takes little offense, she's head it all before. She was still a little vain though. “I was busy back then, you wouldn't get it.”
You don't pry. “Earrings could look nice, but your face is too pretty to ruin with bits and bobs of metal.”
She smirks a bit. “Not your best save.”
“Abloo bloo bloo. Your look is fine, don't worry about it, worry about the music.”
”Mm...” Eris says.
The two of you walk along a bit more.
”...Anon? Have you thought what you want to do after this?” Eris asks, leaning on your shoulder.
“Have a late breakfast and then watch tv in bed?”
Eris plays with her hair, a habit she did when she was nervous. “I mean after us, after the band. No band lasts forever...”
Ah...
She wasn't wrong. Even the old poppy crap bands of yester year were rare to last too long. Truth be told after meeting up with everyone and starting the Neon Knights, you hadn't put much thought into what came after you were all sick of each other...
“...I dunno. You?”
Eris moves her hair and looks away from you. “I dunno...maybe do a solo act? Get some of my less metal songs out of me for a few albums. I've always been more classical than everyone else.
You mull that over, the idea didn't immediately turn you off and Eris's soul music she'd shown to you was fun to play along to. “Do you need a guitar player?”
Eris shuts her mouth and looks up at you, you were about six inches taller than her. “You're serious?”
“Yeah? Sure? Why not? Could be fun.”
She blinks twice but keeps looking at you. “Why? You've always been heavy and sharp, wouldn't...whatever I do be weird for you?”
“Maybe, but I can learn.” You bring your hands up. “Besides, no place I'd rather be.”
Eris positively beams at you and lets go of your hand in order to wrap both her arms around yours, she nuzzles your shoulder but doesn't say anything. Neither did you, nothing really needed to be.
"Hmmm...Do I want Admiral Featherweight or Gorilla Munch?”
Eris leans against the small handcart you have. “You said we only needed milk...”
“Yeah but we could also probably use some other stuff.”
Eris groans and seems to melt onto the floor.
“Quitcher bitchin'.”
”It's my day ooooooffff...I want to be at home either naked or in my pajamas...I'm missing my shows...my feet hurt...”
“Stoooooooop.”
”Noooooooo.”
”Excuse me?”
You turn your head and look behind Eris who reverses like an old VCR and goes back to her feet with an audible pop. “Eh?” she grunts. In the aisle behind you was a shorter woman with purple and silver hair and a gray sweater on. You and Eris glance at each other for a moment.
”Who's askin'?” inquires.
The woman moves a strand of hair from her face and walks a few steps forward .”My name's Twilight Velvet...” she giggles “I'm uh...a fan.”
You see Eris thinking over what she said. “Velvet...velvet...way...Twilight? As in-” Eris snaps a pair of glasses onto her face, changes her hair purple, and adopts a haughty pout before she poofs them away.
Twilight Velvet laughs into her hand. “Yes, that's my little girl, I'm very proud...don't tell her about this though.”
”Uhhh...” Eris says.
You step forward a bit. “I think what my...friend here is trying to ask is why the mother of the lead of a band who was...let's just say “contemporary” since we're in public would be a fan of...well...”
You point at Eris, smoke is coming from her ears.
Twilight Velvet digs into her purse. “Well us proud moms weren't always so vanilla. I was a young lady too once!” she produces a small notepad and pen. “Could I...trouble you for an autograph?”
Eris's eyes now start spinning like a slot machine until the words “TILT” appear in her irises.
“Hold on.” You grab Eris's hair and give it a tug, her eyes rotate back to their normal gold and red and she pops up.
”Uhh...sure? Sure. I've always got time for a fan.” she says, taking the notepad and pen. Twilight Velvet is beside herself in the aisle as Eris signs her name and does a little doodle.
You and Eris leave the store and cut through the park on your way home.
“That was nice of you.”
Eris turns a bit red and plays with her hair. “She was a fan...”
“A fan who's daughter turned you to stone once.”
”I made some of my best bird-friends like that.”
You chuckle and keep walking with her, but Eris lags behind a bit. “Eri?”
”...Do you hear something?” she asks.
You close your eyes and listen to the music that wafts through the trees. Music
“...Wow, that's pretty goo-Eris?”
Eris hurries down the path in another direction, looking about for the source of the tunes.
“Shit.”
You follow behind her and find her standing a few feet from a girl with spiky hair and purple frosted tops strumming away on an acoustic. A hat with some bits sits in front of her and she continues to play with her eyes closed. Eventually it ends, another passerby dropping some bits into the hat. “Be here all week, buddy.” she says.
Eris claps like a retarded seal after the song ends and grins. “Awesome! Anon, give me money to give her money!”
“...You're serious?”
“Money money money money!”
You hand Eris a few bits which she immediately deposits into the hat. The busker takes them out and counts them before looking up. “Mighty kind of you. Any requests?”
”I'll think about it. You sound awesome, who are you?”
She pours the bits into a bag and puts the hat on her head. “Name's Gilda, local busker.”
You take a few steps forward. “You're pretty good. You in a band or something?”
Gilda strums her strings and tunes herself “In-between, making some cash on the side this way. Got mouths to feed.” Gilda looks up at a girl with small pigtails who was playing around near a pond with some ducklings, the girl looks back at her and Gilda nods before strumming again.
Gilda strums a bit more. “Don't think I don't reco'nize you two. I know stars when I see 'em.”
You instinctively step behind Eris, this was why you wore a mask.
"If not for you two...I would be able to make any money for us. Few years ago music was almost gone outside of the radio, now a girl like me can afford to make an almost living off this.” She looks up at you again. “So thanks.”
If Eris felt weird in the store, you did now.
“Y-you're welcome.”
Gilda sticks a pick in her mouth. “Here's one free of charge.” she says as she starts to strum again. Music
Eris and you take a seat on a nearby bench.
“...We inspired someone.” you say.
”Pretty cool, huh?”
“Better than your lame cartoons any day.”
Eris doesn't say anything and just rests her head on your shoulder.
”Stop laughing!” Eris says, stopping her paint dipped finger.
“It tickles!”
”How can we make love if you’re this ticklish!”
“You don’t make love with my stomach!”
” Are you two done?” you hear Chrysalis say.
The two of you turn your heads and catch her standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.
“Yeah, almost.”
You look down.
“I didn’t know you wore a push-up bra.”
Chrysalis had INSISTED that it was important that you all not wear shirts for this little ritual.
”You’ve taken my bra off before.”
“Yeah but I wasn’t lookin’ at it…”
” Aaaand done.” Eris says. “Thanks for distracting him.”
You look down and see the symbol of Tirek on your stomach. “Sweet.”
”Come along, let’s get this going.”
You follow Chrysalis out of the closet onto the common area of the tour bus where Artemis and Sombra wait with their own symbols drawn on their stomachs and arms and heads. Chrysalis claps her hands. “Okay! Does everyone have their paint and bras taken care of?”
You elbow Eris playfully.
”Can’t believe you made me put one on…” she says.
”We can’t have the boys being distracted, hon. Now come.” Chysalis waves her hand and a magic circle appears in a flash of green fire. ”Everyone please take their seats and we can begin.”
You and the others take your seats, you grab a pad of paper and pen in front of you and bow your head.
Chrysalis puts her fingers to her thumbs and her eyes alight with green flame. The circle between you all glows.
” Mighty Tirek.” She begins. ”We, your chosen, call upon you. In our rampaging temple in your name, we seek you. We invite your flame into us to be our furnace, our spark, our passion.”
Artemis puts some things into the circle. A rubbing of a cavern you found Tirek’s carvings in, some picks, an 8-track you’d recorded some solos on.
”Let your power, fury, wisdom, and grace guide us as we seek to make the perfect song. We seek a harmonization of raw power, majesty, and metal to bring this world into a golden age of music. In your name, we ask this.”
The fire circle changes to red and you feel thoughts burning into your brain. You grab the notepad and start writing.
All this was to work on The Masterpiece.
Hours were spent in the recording studio in between tour legs trying to refine it into the perfect piece of heavy metal, but you’re run up against a snag. All of you had run out of material and it wasn’t done yet.
Some bands might just say they were just not creative enough but you all knew the truth. You’d just reached the limits of how hardcore mortals could be.
So like any reasonable person, you turned to the occult.
Chrysalis chants lyrics backwards and a half octave deeper than normal while you write. You could feel the heat in your arm, flowing from your shoulder and down to your wrist as it dogged and dipped onto the paper, crafting and refining the heaviest riffs straight from Tirek’s brain. To call it exhilarating would be an understatement.
Time passes; how much you cannot say.
You feel your bandmates next to you. Not just hearing them write or feeling their body heat, but like your minds were linked. At that moment, you weren’t five people writing instruments, you were one band writing one amazing song.
Eventually you all open your eyes, the candles in the spellcircle going down to numbs and the sun having shifted in the sky outside.
Sombra opens his eyes wide for a second. “Whoa…shit…did I just get laid?” He rubs the back of his neck and winces.
Eris snaps up a geisha fan and cools herself. “That’s one way to put it Somby…wow…”
You lean back. “I need an energy drink…and to unwind, shit…”
Chrysalis picks up all your papers and flips through them, taking her glasses out. “Hrrrmmm…”
”I don’t like that sound one bit…" Arty says.
Chrysalis looks up at him and meets his eyes. “It’s…pretty good.”
The four of you groan. “COME ON, CHRYS.”
”I just think it can be refined more!” she answers.
”We’ve been refining for two years!”
”We can refine a bit more! You can’t rush perfection!”
”That’s why I was a week-long labor.” Eris says.
Three knocks come from the tour bus door.
“What now…”
You get up and walk over to the door, opening it to two stone-faced men in suits outside with briefcases.
“…Hhhhheeeeeey guys.”
”Anonymous.”
You look back in and make your “Who the fuck are these guys?” face.
Artemis sighs. “The lawyers…”
The two open their briefcases in unison and retrieve papers. ”We’ve come to you in regards to a recent development.”
”It’s come to our attention that there is a minor band in Fillydelphia performing covers of your songs to sold out bars and crowds.”
”As such they are in breach of the exclusivity contract between yourselves and RichCo’s marketing division.”
“We’ve taken the liberty of drafting up Cease and Desist letters which, with your authorization, we will send out to sto-“
You flick your wrist and slam the door shut. “So I’m thinking a surprise show down at the pub to unwind tonight, you guys?”
”Yeah I could go for that.” Chrysalis nods.
”Lemme call Huey…”Artemis says.
A few hours later, the five of you are on a small stage at Mick’s Pub down the street.
Just like old times.
Chrysalis grabs the mic. “This is a song about what we did all fucking day.” Music
The benefit of knowing how to play guitar was that it was a scale instrument, and so was the keyboard. You let your guitar hang in front of you as you switch over to the “pipe organ” setting on the device and play some notes.
Eris plucks along on her heavily distorted bass.
Behind the stage, Huey was able to fit the fog machine from the tour bus. Artificial smoke bellows out from behind the stage and sticks to the ground with its weight as Chrysalis raises her arms to the sky.
You do a simple chord progression and fuck with some effects on the instrument. Lights from above refocus and move about before they center on Chrysalis and all goes silent. Clenching her fist and pumping it down, she delivers an earth shaking first note, which you and Arty mirror on downtuned guitars.
You and Aretmis bob and bounce around as Chrysalis walks through the tables with her mic, serenading the patrons with a history lesson. Two verses in, you begin one of the most complicated solos of your career.
Good to know the power of Tirek hadn’t left just yet.
You walk down the street enjoying the slightly warmer weather with a spring in your step. The sun was shining, your cereal was delicious, and you slept well last night. You were ready for a full day of music. You round the corner to your practice space and run your hand along the wall to-
Standing outside the back door and leaning on the wall stood Flim and Flam smoked a cigarette each and looked drained.
…Oh…It was going to be one of THOSE days.
You sigh and walk up to them scratching your head. “Do I even want to know?”
Flim rubs his face. “We’ve been here…since DAWN…fulfilling the inanest requests imaginable.
“Huh?”
“Are the others already here?” you ask.
Flam jerks his thumb inside. “Everyone but Chrysalis, we went on break before she could demand we drive a bus.”
Bus?
“What the hell kind of requests are we talking about here?”
You don’t do anything with children or animals.
They both run their face or pinch their nose. “Just…go inside, see for yourself.”
Oh WOW. “That bad, huh?”
The twins nod. You put your hand on the door and make sure to take a deep breath before you head inside.
…Oh…
You walk into the break room and find a familiar, but equally peculiar sight. Eris sits on the back couch with her hair dyed jet black and her skin sickeningly pale. She’s dressed in an all-black one slip gown with a collar around her neckline and big white gloves on. She leans back and smokes a cigarette through a holder.
“…Hhhhhhhiiiii sweety.”
She glances over to you. “Salutations, Anonymous.”
“What the fuck is with the look?”
Eris bristles and looks at you. “This is the new me.”
“Eh?”
She flips her hair back over her shoulders. “After our occult ritual on the bus, I felt the presence of Tirek inside me. Through my own research, I’ve decided to embrace all there is about Tirekism and make me a better musician.
You walk over to the counter and grab some fruit, turning off the tv as it blabbed on about a collection of magical disturbances coming up from the south or some nonsense.
“New you, huh?”
”Yep.”
“This isn’t you.”
She bristles again.
“You sit in your pajamas and watch cartoons-“
”Anime.” she corrects.
“-Anime all day. You impulse buy and binge eat because you love life. I’ve never seen anyone who loves life as much as you. Seeing you all…bleak and black is gross.”
Eris bristles again.
”I. Am a spirit of Chaos. Nothing is “not me” because “me” is anything. It’s practically my duty to shake things up.”
You chuckle once. “Not if it’s fuckin’ stupid.”
Eris glares at you for a few seconds before you both hear a loud blaring horn. Was that a fucking bus?
It was. It was a fucking bus.
You and Eris walk outside to see about two dozen people filing off a double decker bus in fuxedos.
“What the shit is THIS?”
You hear cackling behind you and turn to see Chrysalis get out of the limo. “They found their way here!”
“What the HELL Chrys! What is this?” you ask, waving your hands.
”The Canterlot Royal Orchestra.” she answers.
HAHA. WHAT.
“You drove them HERE? From THERE?”
”Yes?” She says cocking an eyebrow.
“It’s a six hour train ride!”
”And about a twelve hour bus ride, hence the luxury bus.”
“Fucking WHY?”
Chrysalis strides over and puts her hands on her hips, looking at the orchestra.
”We need to go bigger, that’s why!” she crows. “Better! More grandiose! More in-your-face! We need to grab the world by the ears and shout who we are right in its face!”
Eris blows smoke from her cigarette next to you.
“I’ll reiterate. FUCKING WHY?”
Chrysalis turns back to you. “I was thinking an orchestral metal album.”
You drag your hand down your face and point to Eris. “What do you think of this?”
Chrysalis looks Eris over. “Honey…black is not your color.”
Eris sneers.
“Yes, okay? That’s retarded.”
You take the Changeling by the shoulder and turn her to the bus. “This? ALSO retarded.”
Chrysalis narrows her eyes at you.
”Do I even want to ask?” you hear behind you.
You turn around again, Sombra walks up to the commotion wearing a ratty old hoodie with stains on it, his face is drained of color and his eyes are red.
You feel your frown deepen. “What the FUCK happened to you?”
”I got invited to a party…”
“When?”
Sombra blinks a few times at you. “Thhhhree days ago?”
“Have you SLEPT since then?”
”I think so…”
You rub your face. “Dude…come on, serious the fuck up.”
”I’m serious as fu-.”
He doesn’t finish what he’s saying before two identical girls come around the corner. ”HEY! SOMBRA!”
”Shit…” he groans.
What was it no-oh.
The two women, both sporting a lovely pair of baby-bumps march up to him.
”Why haven’t you answered your phone?” “Why have you been avoiding us?” “When are you going to take responsibility for our children!?” they shout.
Sombra closes his eyes and raises his hands. “As me and my lawyer BOTH told you ladies, I’m not taking responsibility for anything until they come out and you get a DNA test.”
The two stare at him with contempt, probably fucking gold diggers.
You put your hand on Sombra’s shoulder and look at him, getting his back. “You heard the man.”
Despite what you expected, Sombra grunts and shakes your hand off. “I don’t need your friggen help here, man.”
Okay that was-
”THIS IS THE LAST BLOODY DAMN STRAW!”
Oh what now.
You look up and see Artemis floating down on waves of magic, something you rarely see him do.
“Ho boy…”
”Eighty percent!” he shouts, touching down. “You people have spent eighty per-goddamn-cent of my fucking money on expenses for this band and it stops NOW!”
Chrysalis and Eris look at him. “I thought you covered band operational funds…” Chrys says.
”Yeah, you always bankroll us.” Eris adds.
Artemis marches up to the two girls, still furious. “I’m not paying for luxury busing for fucking sixty and-“ Artemis grabs Eris’s hair and sniffs it. “-Royal Obsidian hair dye!”
”The guy at the store said this was the best…”
”Because it’s made with ACTUAL crushed obsidian, Eris! That doesn’t grow on bloody trees!”
Sombra rolls his eyes. “Okay, we get it, just drop the fucking dad routine and tell us to use our own money next time, jee-“
Artemis interrupts him by laughing a great belly laugh. “We could sell a hundred million records and it wouldn’t be enough to cover the legal costs you get us into you great big Neanderthal! A fraction of the kingdom’s gpd goes to keeping people from throwing you back in the ice but at this rate I may just let them!”
Sombra’s brow furrows. “Oh come off it!”
”Blow me!” Artemis shouts.
Chrysalis slaps Artemis shoulder, he pushes her off.
“Guys! Stop the shit!”
”Don’t you dare hit me, Chrysalis!”
”Get off your high horse and stop trying to hold us back, Artemis! Your rotund sister belongs there but you chose to come down here into the dirt with us!”
”Stop stifling my creativity!” Eris whines.
“Will you assholes stop levying your past mistakes NOW and admit when you’re wrong?”
Everything after that devolves into a shouted argument between four immortal powerhouses that scream with energy crackling around their eyes and you.
The onlookers take a step back.
”HEY ASSHOLES!”
”WHAT!?” you all turn to shout at Flim.
Wait. Flim? Flim, his brother, and Huey all stand by the back door.
”We quit.”
You blink twice. It was quiet now.
“…What?”
”He said we quit. Fucking goodbye.” Flam says walking past his brother.
You turn your head and watch the two best technicians walk down the street before snapping back to Ahuizotl.
“Huey…what the fuck?”
Huey, the eternal rock of the Neon Knights, takes a drag on his cigarette. “I give it three days, Anonymous.”
“What?”
Huey holds up three fingers. “Three. Days.”
”Three days is what I give you before we can’t be convinced otherwise.”
”Hey if Flim and Flam want to quit, that’s their ca-“ Sombra starts.
Huey points a sharp finger at the crystal king. “SHUT. Your lantern-jawed mouth, Sombra. I don’t know if the view is distorted from your crystal tower but you DON’T treat your crew like that, especially not your friends.”
”You sound like those disgusting pop songs…” Eris says.
Huey puts his hands in his pockets. “Maybe you five idiots ought to give them a listen, they do a good job of teaching toddlers not to be dicks.”
The others don’t laugh at Huey’s joke, but you can’t get past something else.
“Huey, what did you mean “we can’t be convinced otherwise”?”
Huey is silent for a few moments. He takes his cigarette from his mouth and slowly, carefully stomps it out.
”Look, this is hard to say. None of us wants it deep down.” He looks back up at you. “But like the wonder twins, I’m fucking DONE until you dimwits get your shit together or get gone.” The air hangs still for an eternity. “Nobody likes a diva.”
Huey puts his hands in his pockets and walks away.
“Huey, wait!”
”Nothing more to say, Anon. Good luck.”
Then he was gone.
You all untangle from the melee you were in and look around. The orchestra, the twins, they were all gone. No one speaks, but everyone looks to each other.
”We…are back in Stalliongrad…” Chrysalis says. “In that alley…”
”But I thought we fixed our songs…?” Eris says.
”But we didn’t fix us Eri…”
”Oh…” She looks down at the ground.
“Fuck…” you sigh.
This can’t be it.
”We need to see Him.”
You look back up at Chrysalis, all the others nod at her in agreement. “Who’s Him?”
”He’s been around almost as long as Tirek was, always on the fringes…”
Eris puts her arm on your shoulder. “We gotta go see The Child, Anon.”
-Elsewhere-
You trudge through the desert lands, drinking in the death around you. The world had changed since you last walked it, you could feel the primal power of your dirge from eons past singing in the air. It fed you, yet drove your hunger like nothing before you.
Suddenly, from the east, you feel a twinge of something.
You crane your head and reach out with your senses.
The state of the world had a catalyst…and that catalyst was fracturing. You could feel it. Their power over the world had been shaken, their link to your ancient enemy nearly severed then and there.
Now was the time to act.
You turn your head behind you. “The long dawn soon approaches, our shadows will not be at the advantage for long.”
Turning back and leaning on your lute, you push forward and bring the storm with you. “We march to their heart, and we will pluck it from their chests before their saviors can reach them.”
Your foot burns as you step over a dead scorpion and plant it down in the hot sand.
“Fuck me…”
Ahead you saw the others trudging along through the sun blasted landscape. All around you the Mild West stretched as far as the eye could see in infinite planes of sand and pockmarked mesas reaching up to the sky.
“Guys, hold up, I need to stop…”
”Come on Anon, just a bit longer…” Sombra says, stopping to offer a hand to you.
The five of you had been marching along for hours now after having your tour bus let you off in Appleoosa and following Chrysalis’ wonderful instructions of “go southwest.”.
You take Sombra’s hand and pant.
“I’m not build like you, Sombra…I’m not an immortal…I need a rest.”
The Crystal King grips your hand tight and pulls you up a bit, turning towards the front of the line. ”Hold up! Anon needs a rest!”
Artemis and Eris both stop, turning back at you with equally haggard expressions.
Chrysalis just keeps marching into the sunset.
”CHRYSALIS!” Sombra cries.
The Changeling perks up and turns around. “Huh? Oh, is he okay?”
“Water…please…
Eris hurries over and holds a cantine up to your lips. “Drink, husbando.”
You swig the ice cold contents down your throat and cough a bit “F-fucking weeb…”
Chrysalis turns and covers her eyes, looking at the setting sun in the sky. “I feel like we should have found him by now…”
Artemis goes and joins her. “We followed the rite as it was written…we SHOULD have.”
“Anyone want to explain for the non-magician here?”
”Finding The Child is…harder than it sounds, Anon.” Eris says.
“Why is finding some kid so hard?”
”He’s not a kid, he’s a man.” Sombra says. “As old and as powerful as Tirek and Grogar, watching from his mother’s womb in the stars while they shaped the earth and hearing their liturgies.”
“…Hardcore. But why is he out here?”
”Best view.” he says pointing to the twinkling ceiling above you.
Artemis sighs and steps forward, raising a glowing hand. “Well at the very least I can cool us off…”
Using his magic, Artemis grabbed the moon from the other end of the horizon and went through the practiced motion with his sister at the other end of the kingdom, lowering the sun into the sky and raising its celestial cousin.
The last rays of orange light disappeared over the horizon, but their glow remained along with the strumming of strings. The lot of you cover your eyes for the moment the glow is blinding, and when you lower them you spot a campfire as the source.
Around the campfire are several logs, and on one of the logs sits a man of fiery hair in a tight outfit strumming an acoustic guitar. His gaunt features jagged face scar momentarily distracting you from eyes so deep that they gave you vertigo.
”You seek the Child of Stars…you have found him.” He says.
Whoa...
”Please, sit.” He says, strumming his guitar.
Eris is the first to approach him, her mouth agape in awe. “You’re real…you’re really real.”
”As real as any of us are, darling.” He says with an upper class accent.
Eris squees or giggles or something. The rest of you approach and the Child frowns. “There is disharmony in your souls…I feel it.”
The band exchanges glances. “You could say that.”
”I have long existed on the fringes of your world.” He says. “Walked the fields of Eden and harmonized with the leylines of this magical place we call home.”
He strums once on his guitar and you feel the universe breath in. “You seek me, as others have before you, to quiet this disharmony.”
The band sits, Artemis taking a seat next to him. “We do indeed, wise one…we feel our music suffer.”
”We were once so strong but now it feels like we’re…lost, like we can’t go any further.” Chrysalis says.
The Child pats Arty on the cheek. “Artemis. It has been many years since your sister came to me, seeking absolution for your banishment. Fate would have the good humor to send you to me.”
Artemis blinks. “Celly was here before?”
Shit, what WASN’T she ahead of?
The Child strums his guitar again, not listening to Artemis, and fishes around in a small bag by his feet. “Lifeforms are never simple, but the complications we make of ourselves serve as our eternal muses and shape the world around us. As we grow older, we learn to bury our complications far beneath ourselves.” He pulls out a roll of…some green plant or another wrapped in a cloth. “We must coax it out.” He says handing it to Artemis.
The night prince turns it over in his hand. “…What is it?”
Sombra takes a piece of it and sniffs it. “…It’s peyote.” He sniffs it again. “And it’s chock-full of mescaline.”
”You want to get us HIGH?” Chrysalis exclaims.
”In your transcended state, your truth will arise.” He says.
Eris squeezes your hand next to you. “Anny?”
You think for a minute. “…We’ve tried everything else and it’s not working. If there’s something we’re not saying and this gets it out…”
All eyes look on you and think for themselves.
“It’s for the band.”
Artemis nods and hands the peyote out. “I’m sold.”
”Same.” Sombra says.
”We’re going to wake up with no clothes, I know it.” Chrysalis remarks, taking her node.
You and Eris share one as Child of Stars picks up his guitar again.
”Let my sound be your guide.” He says as you all take a bite and he strums a chord.
Your entire body feels heavy. You can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. Hundreds of tiny gnats’ swarm around you and pick at your body, each taking a small piece of you away with them as they go. You swat at them, plead with them, and eventually offer yourself of them freely. Surely that will appease them? It does not. The drone of guitar calls you towards an escape of infinite blackness, you rush towards it headlong and escape the gnats. However the veil of shadows is thin and you reach the other side. The gnats now buzz off in the distance, away from you, yet their swarming cacophony remains. You cover your ears and try to distract yourself, but the weight of the gnats cries for your flesh cause you to curl up on the floor, back into your mind, back into the blackness.
You lay on the cold, familiar, ground, your home for as long as you remember. Above you lie the void of space with the twinkling orbs of perfection out in it. You wanted those orbs more than your next breath. You reach out for them, but your arm is not long enough. That would not matter, you would build a glistening tower to put yourself closer.
You build and build and when you can build no more, you reach again. But to your horror, the perfection that was your birthright remained out of your grasp. Thinking quickly, you contract others to aid you in building, and your tower rises. You rise and rise until you are the tallest thing in the world, and then do you reach again. Perfection was closer, but still beyond you, you had to build more. But now, your aid builds the tower in other ways. Sideways, backwards, further down. All but the direction you wanted, needed to go. You lay again at the top of your tower, cold and hard like the ground that was your home, and wonder if it was at all any different.
There were so many beneath you.
From your position towering over them you watched them play out their little lives of duty and diligence. It was mesmerizing from on high, but constantly something nicked at the back of your mind. This one wasn’t doing the right thing, that one was going where it shouldn’t, this one here would hurt itself.
No. You, go there. And that one here. And this one go over there.
You put your hands in the throng of your lessers, why did you care about them so much? Without them you were nothing, that’s why. You turn their heads and direct them, but they continue to come.
No go here. Pick that. No, stay away from that.
Why are you all slowing down? Why won’t you stash food? You’re going to starve. You all need to go over here and eat. You turn all their heads towards food and direct them, but as they crawl over it, they melt away. You shriek and gather up the few you can, hiding them in your palms and running for the shadows where you nurse them back to health.
Now the world was different around you and the ones you kept safe were gone. You would have to steer those you love more next time, the alternative was disasterous.
You can feel for the first time in a long time and you feel afraid. Your joints pop and crack as you move them, and you go hide in the woods to gather yourself. She was there, she was so kind to you, she helped you and made you like outside.
Eventually you left, you found something you liked and did that. It felt good to do things again. You did that thing and did it and did it, finding other things you also liked.
But you didn’t know why.
Everything was so much different, and everything you used to do scared you now. You wanted to feel forever, you wanted to be around, none of that old stuff would work. You watch everyone around you change, but you don’t, you stay the same as you had been.
You look down at your feet and see them turning grey. You scream, but your throat closes up.
The wind howled at your face, ripping away at your skin and eyes. You don’t know where you are, you don’t know how you got here, you don’t know where here is.
You are lost. You do the one thing, so you did it.
The ground beneath you shook and rumbled as great shapes walked along the horizon towards you. The bent down and plucked you from the crust of the earth, carrying you with them. To your surprise, they imitated you, doing what you did as you did it. You danced and celebrated with these entities, so large that their footsteps turned to valleys in your wake, but all was not well.
One bumped into another, which bumped into another which bumped into another. Soon these titans clashed and quarreled, yelling in their incomprehensible language at one another. You gripped tight, trying to shout them down, but what you could do was naught but watch.
These were the beings who made you feel welcome, helped you find yourself in this madness. You wanted to help, them but could not, and that killed you. One titan bumps into another, sending you flying through the air.
Again, you are alone and lost in a place you did not know, helpless and insignificant in the scheme of it all, your company having abandoned you. And then all was black.
You groan and rub your eyes.
“What the hell…”
Pawing at your chest, you see you still have your shirt.
“Hah…Chrys…you lost that bet…”
You open your eyes and immediately wish you hadn’t as the Mild West morning sun beats down on your face and lights your eyeballs on fire.
“Oho! Fuck!” you exclaim, rolling over.
You hear the others around you groaning and rising up as you blink the spots away.
”Where…the hell is Child?” Artemis says.
Chrysalis gets to her feet and stumbles over to where you remember him sitting. “There’s a note…”
”What’s it say, Chryssy?” Eris asks.
Chrysalis’s eyes drift over it. “It says ‘This was fun, loves. But I have an 8:30 pint with Ronnie. Kisses.’ And the I’s are dotted with hearts…”
“Who the hell was that guy…”
Sombra stands and rubs his head. “Do you guys…remember saying anything last night?”
Everyone is quiet. You all did. ”I remember…that you think we’re holding you back.” Eris says, kicking dirt.
”I wouldn’t put it like that…” Sombra says.
“Yeah? Then how would you?”
Sombra sighs and puts his hands in his pockets. “Ever feel like…I dunno, you’re not supposed to be doing what you’re doing? That you’re meant for something MORE out there?”
Eris is quiet for a few seconds. “…Yeah, I did…but that got me in a lot of trouble and I don’t ever want to be like that again. I just want to live my life and be happy but everything changes so fast. I dunno, maybe I’m getting old.”
”I just feel like I should be doing MORE.” He says.
”Tch. Welcome to the club.”
The three of you turn and look at Artemis who’s sitting on the ground with his head resting in his hands. “You have no idea how liberating it’d be to be deposed…Every day I’m out with you all, doing what I love, but there’s this awful nagging every time I set my guitar down that I should be hurrying home and picking up my pen to write some royal decrees. I mean for Tirek’s sake! I’m a head of state and I’m in a rock band!”
“Not everyone expects you to be your sister, Artemis…”
”Yeah well maybe they should.”
”What about you, Anon?” Sombra asks.
You reach back and scratch behind your head.
“You all probably heard what I said…”
Each of their eyes looks through you as you sputter. “You’re all…I mean every one of you has already made your mark. You launched a coup, some of you almost killed everything on the planet, some of you wrapped everyone around your finger and I…I play guitar.”
You roll over and sit on your butt, looking at your toes. “It’s just…I feel like the new guy in a group of superstars already, like in fifty years there might be a story about “that band of bad guys and that one no one remembers with no face”.
You know, like Ringo.
You feel someone tug at your arm and get under it, Eris sitting next to you. “I think you’re a giant.” She says before she kisses you.
”…Phrasing.” Sombra says.
”BOOM!” goes Arty.
They high five and you chuckle. “Ass. You hear these muscleheads Chry-“
You look behind you and see Chrysalis standing where Child was, tightly gripping her arms with her head down.
If she saw what you saw…SHIT.
You get up and run over to her.
“Hey! Hey! Are you okay?”
Tears streamed down her face through her gritted teeth. “I just need a minute.” She says.
The others hurry over as you pat her shoulder and she falls into your chest.
”They’re dead. They’re all dead and it’s MY fault.”
You rub her back. “Chryssy, no…”
”I tried and-- my family died, that was the worst day of my life.”
The others comfort her as best they can. In no time, you feel all of you get pulled together. You look and see that she’s pulled everyone closer. “And the best was when I found my new one…”
A chuckle escapes you as you rest your head on top of hers, the five of you smiling like goons and hugging in the desert.
”…Now what?” Sombra asks.
”Do we all kiss?” Eris questions.
She gets five “No”’s in response. Sombra had a beard, that was gross.
The five of you separate, Chrysalis composes herself. ”This isn’t going to be wrapped up with a musical number and a hug…but I know I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.” She says.
You nod, Artemis pats her back in agreement and Sombra nods once.
Chrysalis nods too. “We know now and we’ll…work on it, come back stronger than ever, you hear? We’ll temper our iron into steal.”
“Here here!”
Eris scratches her stomach. “So…what do we do now? About our careers?”
Artemis digs something out of his pocket. “I actually have an idea for that…”
“Whassup, Arts?”
The night princes presents a glitzy looking gold flyer.
”Who wants to play the Grand Glittering Gala?” he asks.
It was the biggest night in Canterlot, possibly the entire kingdom. Dignitaries and officials from far and wide, from every corner of the kingdom were in attendance tonight. The Grand Glittering Gala.
Your week in town had been more preparation on top of what you’d already done. After the five of you had returned from the desert, you had all set to work.
First order of business was getting back in touch with the road crew, as no band was complete without one. You’d met Huey and the twins in a bar and recounted the whole tale of meeting the Child in the desert and the revelations that came with that.
”Shit, I could have told you that.” He had said before he shook your hand like an old friend.
What followed was two weeks of safety inspections, rehearsals, re-worked stage shows, and tux fittings until you reached now hiding out in Artemis’ apartment fixing your tie.
You get it done right and look to him. “Am I straight?”
He turns and cocks an eyebrow. “You look like you might have seen one or two up close.”
“Takes one to know one.”
”A prince never tells.” Artemis says as he reaches over and adjusts your tie.
“Thank you.”
”Yeah well you’d be lost without me.”
”You’d think at this point he’d know how to tie a tie.” You look over your shoulder and spot Eris in a suit. “You were wearing that suit when we met you.” she says.
“I always used to just make it looser and slip it off. No dress?”
Eris tugs at her collar and smirks. “I make this look too good to squeeze myself into a dress.”
”That and she probably doesn’t want to wear underpants and a dress would end up flashing the crowd.”
”Arty, know the reason I broke up with you?”
”I could do better?” he answers.
”Because you got a big fat mouth.” Eris says, grabbing his cheeks.
You back away and get your tie situated, thinking back to what Arty said.
“Mmm…you guys remember when we met?”
Artemis and Eris get a far off look in their eyes. “I remember driving our van down the road…” Arty says. ”And seeing some strange guy in a suit with a guitar on his shoulder hitchhiking.” Eris finishes.
“Strange? Not handsome?”
”You grew on me.”
Artemis chuckles. “What were you even hitchhiking for? You’ve never said after all these years.”
“I was trying to get out of the worst place on the planet, I didn’t expect to end up in magic-land pine forests after I went to take a leak.”
”And that awful place was?”
“New Jersey.”
Fuck New Jersey.
Eris rests her head on your shoulder. “Ever miss it?”
You contemplate that for a minute. “Where I lay my head is home…Had no family, barely any friends, and my latest band had broken up the week before that. There was culture shock, but as far as I’m concerned, this is where I belong.”
”With me?” Eris ask.
“Yes dummy, with you.”
You lean your neck down and kiss her, she does that cute thing where she lifts one of her legs up.
A knock at the door heralds Sombra sticking his head in. “Five minutes, dickheads. Let’s rock and rumble.”
You look at your friends, your family, and pull down your mask.
“Right now, the place we belong is on that stage. So let’s kill this.”
Sombra leads you down a corridor where Chrysalis is smoothing her eyebrows out in a mirror on the wall.
”Be careful, that’s worth more than our lives.” the Night Prince says.
”I’m priceless, Artemis. Is everyone ready?”
All of you nod, Chrysalis turns and looks at you before taking a deep breath. “Moment of truth.”
”Make or break.”
“Do or die.”
Chrysalis comes in close and snatches you all in her arms. “I just want you all to know that no matter how this turns out, I’ve never felt closer to anyone in all my years. I love you all.”
”Gaaaaaaaaaay.” Eris says.
”Hush. Let’s go kick ass!” Chrysalis cries.
“Hell yeah!”
The Changeling Queen turns on her heel and hurries out into the main ballroom as the rest of you follow.
Your stage is set up in the ballroom right in front of the big bay window overlooking the city below and countryside further beyond. Several cheers and whistles come your way as you silently walk to the stage, an older gentleman standing at the microphone. “And providing tonight’s entertainment, we proudly present, The Neon Knights.” He says.
Chrysalis takes the microphone from the man who quickly heads off stage and looks out over the gathering audience. “I dare say, this is easily our most well-dressed crowd.” She says to break the ice. It gets a few chuckles. She wasn’t wrong though, everyone in here was in a tuxedo or gown that cost more than most cars. Not exactly the stereotypical rock concert stock.
You’d have to do something about that.
Chrysalis loosens her tie as the rest of you get either behind your instrument or get them on your shoulder.
”Like our esteemed mustachioed man said, we are the Neon Knights, and we play heavy metal.” She shades her eyes and looks out over the crowd. “We got some old blood here, you guys want a history lesson? Listen up.”
Chrysalis sets the mic and you grab your pick, taking a deep breath through your mask to center yourself.
You look out over the crowd and spot Princess Celestia by the stairs opposite the door. She’s giving you two huge thumbs up with a big smile. And if that didn’t do it, nothing would.
On cue, you, Eris, and Artemis begin a blasting riff with him. Your guitars were tuned to make an especial flat and blunt noise and the riffs engineered to smack the listener in the face. You play for a few licks before the stage goes dark save for a spotlight on Chrysalis. Eris kneels down and fingers out a bassline while Sombra keeps on tapping a beat out. Chrisalis gestures around while tapping her foot and weaving a historical lesson about the history of rock and roll and heavy metal, none of this music class bullshit.
You all agreed to start at the very beginning.
The rest of the stage lights up when she points to it. The sound of Eris’s bass, Sombra’s drums, and finally yours and Artemis’s rock. You and he jump into the air while you slam out your rifts, then you slide your pick down your neck. The first solo of the song starts with you spinning around low to the ground the same way the rifts reminded you of, all while bobbing your head like a madman. That solo ends dramatically with everyone holding their notes, then you tap a few out and it’s right back into it.
Chrysalis continues her lesson, you look around. Dignitaries and celebutants are loosening their ties and consuming more and more punch.
What’s even better, they were dancing. Dancing like rich white people dance, but still, this was good.
You look out and see Princess Celestia instructing a few delegates in how to get their groove on, smiling up at you and her brother.
Two could play like that.
Right before you and Artemis’ next bridge, you whip your mask off and jump off the stage.
Your bandmates don’t miss a beat, continuing to play and dance around. You feel the floor under your feet tremble a bit and see the light fixtures sparkle. In the cleared space among the crowed that you land in, you stalk around like a cheetah before you begin your solo, but you dare to be different. You tap into the power inside of you, the eternal metal magic, and let it flow into you, just like the night on the glacier.
Sliding your fingers down your neck, you launch a gust of air at a woman, lifting her dress up. Normally that’d get you a slap, but this time you get a coy smile and an eye roll.
You start playing a looping guitar bridge in time with your footsteps aw you weave through the crowd. You wink at fans and dance with others, spinning on your toes and flourishing to make a show before you settle on rocking back and forth as your solo intensifies. From your guitar, lights spring forth and spin around in rhythm with you.
People are awestruck by the power of Tirek coursing through you as you extend your solo and lead into another fade-off.
As the last verse starts, you hurry back to the stage, climbing on right as Chrysalis starts singing again. Chrysalis continues her final verse as Eris and Artemis gather around you. Sombra starts spinning his sticks with each strike of the cymbals and the energy rises.
Chrysalis releases a final scream to signal your final solo and you drop down to one knee near the front of the stage and the cheering super-rich fans. You start bending your strings in unholy ways to make this guitar dance for you, letting out a cacophony of noise and majesty that even you’d never thought of till this very moment. Artemis and Eris bang their heads around you and Chrysalis holds the microphone to your pickups. Which comes at the perfect time. You start playing as fast as you can, letting your hand slide up and down the neck of your guitar over your strings and letting your passion take over. The head of your guitar responds in kind, the knobs glowing red hot before they start vomiting out colorful fireworks, the microphone stand mirroring it.
You continue to play from your heart, egging the crowd into more and more intense cheers before you all break away and slam on your instruments. You all hold those extended solos for what seems a blissful eternity before you let loose one final slide and a stomp to end the song.
The crowd cheers and raises their lighters, Chrysalis taking the microphone. “Alright, yeah! If you liked that, we have even more heavy metal mania for you toni-“
WHAM.
Everyone in the room looks towards the main doors as another rough slam hits them.
WHAM.
Chrysalis chuckles. “Seems like someone was late to the party, eh? Security! Let ‘em in!”
A guard reaches over and unlatches the door, then he’s flung back by the force of them slamming open and sending a powerful gale into the room harrowing a mournful dirge.
It wails over the ballroom, snapping everyone from their jovial trance and blowing clothes, curtains, tables, and people back towards you. Cutting through the sound, you heard the chiming of a single pure bell and the pounding of rain and thunder.
“What in the-?”
”Anonymous!” You hear Eris shout.
Momentarily that is, the moaning wail from some sort of guitar gets louder. Your hands and the hands of all those in attendance snap to their ears instinctively to stop them from bursting.
All at once, the noise and wind cease. You peek your eyes open to see the color drained from the world. Everything in the ballroom was now some shade of grey, except for everyone on the stage. They were also all facing towards the doorway where an inky blackness covered contained therein until a pair of red eyes blinked open inside it.
It stepped into the room on a cloven hoof and draped in shadows that collected into a tattered cape around it. Behind it on the floor it dragged a stringed battle axe that left constant blood trails on the floor. He towered over all the guests in attendance, his horns almost hitting the chandeliers as he surveyed the room.
”Mister Bones, you make your master proud.”
His voice shook the very fabric of space.
As the one note wail fades, you hear the clattering of bones from the door and the Black Priest summons his host. A skeleton reaching the satyr’s shoulders and wearing a sombrero and ponoch, deep carvings on his bones walks in leading a funeral procession of smaller human frames behind him, and bringing up the rear, a carriage lead by fire snorting skeletal horses that seemed to be made of fingernails and teeth, atop which stood the same boney puppets carrying bass guitars, chimes, horns, and a drumset.
”Oh my god…” you hear Chrysalis say.
”It’s…it’s Grogar.”
The Ancient Necromancer, The Black Poet, The Mournful Lyric, The Carver of the World, stood high in the center of the ballroom, then he looked at you.
He tilts his head to the side as he walks towards you, eyes fixated on all of you. You feel your knees shake as the band huddles together, Sombra baring his teeth behind you from the sound of it.
”What is this, that stands before me?” he says, either about himself or you.
He extends a gnarled finger towards you and points, the tip glowing black
You feel your soul start to drop into an infinite expanse but the feeling quickly passes with a momentary golden sheen making a bubble around you.
”Wh-what??” Eris says.
”What the hell--?” Artemis says “I’ve read the tomes, why aren’t we inside out?”
Sombra puts his hand on Artemis’ shoulder and points. “Arty…look.”
The crowd that Grogar steps around, the other attendees of the Grand Glittering Gala stand perfectly still…until they all turn to watch their master with jet black eyes and open mouths, and at the head of them near the stage was a princess in a golden tiara, her right hand clenched in a fist that glowed gold with the sheen.
You FEEL the moon wuake behind you as Artemis takes a step forward. “I’m going to—I should—WHERE IS MY HELMET!?”
Grogar chuckles and takes a step towards you. ”Be silent, herald. Your lord walks among you."
He waves a hand and blows the window out behind you…before the entire back wall and ceiling of the castle room collapses and turns to dust in the wind, blowing away.
You hazard a quick glance out and see the expanding wall of colorlessness extend over the city, over the countryside, and up into the sky. Turning the whole world black and white…mostly black though.
Grogar continues to loom over you. “I have felt you since your awakening…so long ago…as the world finished its rotation around the cursed sun…” He seems to savor each word like a succulent piece of meat for how long he draws them out. “I have felt your power grow, and climb, and magnify my power over this world…returning the magic my counterpart once stole from me.”
Grogar grips his axe tighter and brings it over his head with a sick smile, slamming it down on the shield with a crack that shook the planet. In the streets below, gaps in the ground opened up and spilled black soot onto the streets.
Artemis gasps and bleeds from the mouth as the moon glows blood red, the color of Grogar’s pinprick eyes, and begins to drip onto the planet below it.
”The Sun shields you from my shadow…I have been diminished with the awakening of my host…”
He brings his axe back, dragging gouges into the ground with it as he holds it across himself. “It is of no consequence…my mournful song will drain the power from this world…and you will be its last living beings…”
You feel Eris grip your arm and your gut tighten.
”You…whom this world once called evil, will bear witness to your better, to the rise of New Tambelon…”
He holds his bone axe over his knee and begins playing out a droning clamor of sounds and screams from his band back on the carriage which shoots torrents of smoke out from underneath it. The torrents rise into the sky and become new clouds, blocking off everything save the dripping moon.
Grogar looks up to the sky with a manic smile as the last ray of starlight begins to vanish. “IS IT THE END, MY OLD FRIEND!? THIS IS HOW YOUR WORLD DIES! LET THIS SHOW YOU THE POWER OF MY MUSIC! THE TRUE FORM OF YOUR "HEAVY METAL"!”
You feel the pang in your gut explode into fire in your veins and you just can’t take it anymore. You pull away from Eris and march over to the edge of the dome.
“OH KISS MY ASS YOU OLD HACK!”
Your interruption distracts Grogar for a heartbeat and you hear the familiar sound of a string breaking, then silence from the ghastly band that dares not play without its leader.
Grogar turns his bloody gaze down to you jamming your finger up at him.
“You heard me grandpa, kiss my ass.”
No one else says anything, but you can feel Sombra take a step back through the floor. Dickhead.
Oh well, whatever.
“You roll in here big off your britches and trying to take over the world or something dumb like that and you have the gall to think you’re the true path for heavy metal? That it was just left where you last had it and never went anywhere?”
You turn your finger into flipping the bird. “Well fuck you, buddy! We worked our asses off to move this music from the shadows where you left it and let it take its place in the harsh light of the sun!”
Grogar snorts dust from his nose. “I carved these elegies onto the soul of the world in millennia past, pup. You could never match even a fraction of my master of metal.”
He holds his arms out wide. “Look around you…”
You do that. Turning around and seeing all the black eyed, slack jawed slaves to Grogar’s sounds emanating from the skeletal stage behind him. Behind you out over the city you saw endless hordes of red eyed shambling corpses standing motionless, all staring up at the now city wide stage you found yourself on. ”My metal has made you five the last living beings in this kingdom not a part of my will…what could you POSSIBLY do to change that?”
You think for a quiet minute and then stab your finger up at him. “WE challenge YOU to a ROCK OFF! Our best song will kick your as-ah!”
”Just one moment please!” You hear Chrysalis shout before you get pulled back.
The band pulls you into a huddle in the bubble.
”Anon what the fuck.”
”Do you SEE HIM?”
”He’s got literal actual zombies.”
”And we have fucking guitars.”
You take a half step back and hold up two fingers. “Okay.”
“First off, when did my badass bandmates get replaced with a bunch of scared little bitches?”
Sombra, Artemis, and Chrysalis all glower back at you. ”Anon, seriously, what do you expect to DO?”
You can barely believe what you’re hearing. “I expect us to go up there and blow him the fuck out, is what I expect! We know we can play harder than some droning wail!”
Artemis grabs your shoulder. “Anon that is LITERALLY GROGAR.”
”He basically invented heavy metal.” Sombra says. “We picked it up on a whim! What chance do we have!”
”Not to mention the entire WORLD is counting on us at this point!” Chrysalis says.
“Guys…” You grab your guitar and hold it up. “We always said music could change the world, but now ours actually CAN! And he is his band! The face, the name, all of it! Those boneheads won’t play without him! We can blast him back to the pit he crawled out of by working together and become legends!”
You get three concerned, scared, and unsure looks back.
And your gut sinks.
“Guys…”
”I got an idea.” You hear over your shoulder.
All three of you look to see Eris picking up her guitar and strolling over next to you. “We could just shut up and go play and have a good time, it’s not like we really give a shit.”
The others are quiet for a bit before Chrysalis laughs once.
”We are bad guys…”
Sombra chuckles. “It’s not like apathy for the common man isn’t our thing.”
”Contempt even.” Artemis adds.
“So you’ll do it?”
Sombra looks up at you. “What would we even play?”
You steel your eyes and look each of them dead on. ”There’s only one thing we can play.”
They all catch on quick and nod.
”The Masterpiece.” You all say in unison.
It’d been the work of months, years even. All of you knew it by heart. Every note, every chord, every lyric. It was metal in its most pure form as you could make.
”…Get to your places.” Chrysalis says, picking up her mic.
Artemis rushes over and grabs his guitar, taking his place by Eris who gets into a low power stance. Sombra grabs his Adamantine drumsticks and sits behind his kit. Chrysalis points up at Grogar. “We may be bad guys and this may be our world too, but I don’t give a DAMN about that! All I want to do is wipe that smug fucking grin off your face.”
The old satyr breathes heavily, annoyance crossing his face. “And how would you do that?”
Chrysalis points to the drum kit. “SOMBRA, HIT IT!”
The Crystal King grows a manic grin and raises his muscled arms up, about to unleash the fury that you’d held him back from for so long.
Sombra’s sticks hit the cymbals and his legs become a blur as he unleashes his power onto the set. You feet the ground beneath your feet shake and shudder, though unlike before. Before you could feel the planet quake at Grogar’s approach, now it felt like Sombra reached down into the core of the earth and jumpstarted it, echoing the adrenaline fueled heartbeat back up and shaking the surface.
Black crystals spring up from the floor around Sombra’s kit, each cymbal strike sending more up and tracing down the side of the palace wall. Sombra settles on a fast, heavy rhythm and everyone else prepares. Thumping their chests in solidarity and preparing for what was to come.
You take center stage and watch Grogar’s eyes flutter and his zombie slaves twitch ever so slightly.
“Chew on this, you old fart…” You tilt your guitar headstock into the sky and call upon the raw power of Tirek.
And ‘lo does your god answer.
As you release the screech of the titanium beast in your hands, silver lightning cuts the sky in half and strikes your guitar. And from the gap in the world shoots forth gouts of fire and flame that herald the arrival of a chrome champion riding a metallic dragon.
From the legends of old sprung forth Tirek’s champion; Hellfurion, Cremator of the World. Clad in chromate steel with talons that could slice the stars. Behind him roars a great beast as a metallic dragon serpent slithers through the rift behind him. The mountains surrounding Canterlot explode their tops, shooting fire into the sky as Hellfurion dives into the horde of undead beneath him on wings of steel and sunlight.
As the fire from the planets core shot into the sky and burned the necromancer’s smog away, the worlds defiant scream against the entropy of Grogar, your band joined you in your unholy chorus.
Chrysalis grabs the mic with both hands and screams as loud as she can into it, sounds only matched by the carnage below you.
Hellfurion wades into the scores of undead, swinging his scalloped claws and razor talons through the spiteful creatures below and immolating the pieces he carved from them. It was a thing of monstrous beauty to watch the metal messiah rend his way through the streets, where his feet fell leaving trails of flame which burned the traces of soot away. Furion’s serpent, the great Deathscream, flew into the air and unleashed streams of molten iron from his gaping maw into the air with a terrifying scream where they cooled and rained down upon the monsters, tearing them apart. Grogar was a crafty old man and caught wise, extending his axe towards your champion and unleashing a low strum of black magic towards his gleaming metal body.
You and Chrysalis turn towards Hellfurion as Sombra and Eris rebuke Grogar and unleash a wall of noise towards him. The noise strikes the chrome knight in his chest, resonating off his metallic body and blasting away the darkness. In the radius around Hellfurion, civilians which he had until this time avoided, fell to their knees and shook their heads as their eyes cleared.
“IT’S WORKING! KEEP PLAYING!”
Artemis takes his place next to you as he slams away on his guitar, his eyes becoming a star field as the night sky churned above you. Comets smashed into each other and far off suns turned to supernovas, bathing the landscape before you in brilliant light that reflected off the moon in the sky. However from the last vestiges of shadow from the smog came the flapping figures of skull faced bat creatures which descend upon the city.
You in particular, Grogar was playing dirty.
Hellfurion leaps into the sky and lands on Deathscream, taking to the sky as he grabs hold of molten chains on the beasts back with one arm. Deathscream opens its mouth and breathes a torrent of flame at the creatures above you while Hellfurion holds his arm out and sense pointed metal spikes rocketing through the air, impaling the beasts and affixing them to a wall. Hellfurion leaps off his steed as it flies up further into the air, rapidly shedding chrome scales which fall into the air and explode into showers of motel sparks which burn the winged monstrosities at the touch. Grogar was nervous now, thrusting his glowing black hand into the sky as he tore chunks of earth, marble, and stone from the ground and throwing them at Hellfurion in an attempt to douse his flaming body.
Chrysalis belts it out as your champion dives between the stones, either kicking them into dust or chopping them with his molten arm, leaving the pieces aflame to fall back to the earth before he finally exploded, sending a hail of metal down onto the world. Lightning sparks from your guitars as he lands in the destroyed ballroom. Grogar jumps back and raises the bladed side of his axe as Hellfurion charges him through the crowd of guests, all awakening in the presence of his majestic form. You drop to your knees and let all of your fingers pick at your strings. At the same time, Hellfurion tackles Grogar in the chest and angles his razor wings down, sending himself and Grogar flying towards one of the fire spewing volcanoes on like a fury filled rocket.
As the two demi-gods land on the rim of the volcano, Grogar tries to strike with his smokey axe. Hellfurion catches the handle of the axe with his hand and whips the other out, producing a flaming motorcycle chain that he whips at Grogar, gashing him in the chest.
Guests around you regain their senses, Princess Celestia included and watch the spectacle unfold.
Half watch the dueling entities on the rim of a bleeding wound in the world, surrounded by smoke and fire and lightning and noise. The other half watch your band thrash about on stage performing your magic. An art lost to the world of spells not governed by words and gestures, but by the squeal of electric guitars and the strength of the words you let erupt from your heart.
You continue to play as an inferno spews from Hellfurions eyes to match the radiating darkness spilling down Grogar’s cheeks. The two beings, in melee, were evenly matched. Grogar would swing with his axe which got tangled in Hellfurion’s chin who would swing back with a sword made of searing plasma that would extinguish in Grogar’s icy grip.
Your prophet needed more, and you would give it to him.
Chrysalis drops to her knees as you pick your way up your guitar neck. She sings notes so pure that Sombra’s crystals begin to explode, further dicing the remaining shambling corpses and the heavy piece striking Grogar’s backup band, shattering their fragile bones and sending them clattering to the ground.
Chrysalis’s lyric causes the creases in Hellfurion’s armor to glow hot orange as he uppercuts Grogar into the air and leaps after him. A guitar wail from you attracts the metallic fragments of Deathscream and sends them rushing after their master, reforming mid-flight and rebirthing the great chrome steed to fight another day.
Grogar sprouts two pairs of dripping black bat-wings from his back and charges at the metal messiah, teeth gritted and axe in hand.
Hellfurion extends his arm into the air and catches a falling star, stretching it out and letting it cool into a steaming iridium spear affixed with an engine and exhaust ports. With a flap of his steel wings and a roar of his mount, Satyr and Automoton clash in the sky. The titans clash in the sky, sending thunder and lightning spilling over the world. You feel so at one with your metal that you can feel Grogar’s hold on the world weakening, all that does is make you strike your strings harder.
You glance over your shoulder and pass the final solo off to Artemis who drops to one knee and bends his guitar over his other like a petulant child that he shreds on.
Hellfurion and Grogar clash in the molten clouds, an axe made of corpses and shadow sparking against a spear made of atomic fire. In your heart you felt Grogar hanging on by his fingertips to this world. Artemis must have felt it too, because he cranks his gain way up and finishes the solo at the same time Hellfurion finishes Grogar.
The chrome champion opens up his chest and lets the necromancer see his fiery heart at the center of his body. Grogar gets naught but a screech out before the nuclear fire of the heart engulfs him and blasts out of Hellfurion, striking something and blasting a hole in the world. Time seems to freeze as Hellfurion and Deathscream impale Grogar’s flaming corpse with their spear and drive him through the rift in the world.
The Neon Knights memorialize this moment with the longest held note you’ve ever done and a drum solo from Sombra that causes the mountains spewing fire into the sky to collapse at the top, sealing off the pathways to the core. That night, Equestria gains a momentary second sun and you swear you see the horned, red skinned, brass armored face of God as Hellfurion takes Grogar back to the realm of metal to await his judgement.
Your final note rings out across the world as the rift explodes into Tirek’s Horns.
You fall you your knees and breath for the first time in six minutes.
That was…
“Holy shit!”
That was the only word you got out before the second loudest thing of the night erupted from everywhere at once. Everyone in the room, everyone in the city, everyone in the WORLD it felt like were on their feet applauding, cheering and whistling at you.
You rises and help Eris and Chrysalis up.
”They like us…” Eris says.
”They really like us.” Chysalis responds.
”Can you blame them?” you hear someone ask.
Celestia, her dress a bit singed and hair frazzled but smiling all the same, elbows her way to the front of the stage.
”Sister!” Artemis breaks rank and embraces his sister. “Are you okay?” he asks. The monarch closes her eyes for a moment, enjoying the probably rare embrace she gets from her bratty brother, before chuckling and releasing him. “Nothing some rest won’t fix, Arty, though it could have been much worse. You and your friends did it! You save the world and you saved it your way! I’m so proud, little brother. Mother and father would be too.”
Artemis turns a particular shade of red and backs away from Celestia. “Uh…y-yeah Celly.”
“Arty, get your butt up here and see this!”
Artemis looks over and runs over as Celestia backs off. The night prince joins you in overlooking the city below you from what remained of the area behind your stage. People as far as the eye could see littered the streets of Canterlot looking up at you, holding lighters, horns, or bras in some cases up at you in celebration for the feat you had pulled today.
Chrysalis chuckles. “So…we’re not really topping that any time soon in our careers…now what?”
“Well, we can always try. Future’s a bright place, after all.”
”I meant what do we do in the next six minutes.”
All five of you contemplate for a moment.
“Dude, encore.”
”Heeeell yeah!” Eris says.
You grabbed your instruments and got ready to show the whole world that the elements of harmony weren’t the only things it had going for it.
Now it had five more fundamentals.
Fire, blood, noise, lightning, and metal.
-The End.
=Epilogue=
-Ten years later-
You sit backstage in the green room of the K-Colt TV studios on the couch with your guitar in your lap, noodling away at the strings.
“What do you think of this? It could go on the next record.”
Eris sits with her feet up on the couch, leaning on your shoulder and reading a magazine. “The next album is already full, Anon.”
“The one after that, then.”
Eris chuckles. “Jeeze, are you always on?”
“I thought the point of going solo was to explore more creative outlets. It’s not my fault that I’ve got ideas.”
Eris turns the page. “A two-person band isn’t exactly “solo”.” She says.
“It is when it’s your name and face we put on all the covers.”
”Why do we do that?”
“Because you look better in tantalizing outfits than I do and I still like going to the store without someone recognizing me.”
Eris adjusts her but. “I am the pretty one.”
You kiss the back of her neck, she purrs. “Yes, you are.”
”I thought I tasted something familiar.” Someone says.
You and Eris turn your heads and spot an old face standing in the doorway.
”Hey! It’s Chryssy!” Eris exclaims with glee, rising up.
The girls do that kissy cheek thing and you get a peck and a hug when you stand up.
“What are you doing here, you old crone?”
Chrysalis leans back on the wall in her leather jacket. “I was on this show a few days back spreading awareness of the deforestation down in Cervidas. Imagine my surprise when, a night before my flight back, I read that two of my old cronies are on the same show.”
You laugh. “And they just let you back in?”
”I can charm my way into anywhere, you know that.”
“Oh don’t we all.”
”Doesn’t everyone on this hemisphere is more like it.”
”I thought I smelled something rank! Sombra!” Chrysalis says.
The Crystal King walks in from the direction of the stage just as some no doubt clever zinger sends the crowd into a laughing fit. “Hello beautiful.” He says, picking Chrysalis up in a hug.
”Holy crap, did you get bigger?” Eris asks.
”Wanna find out?” he asks, leaning on the wall.
“Easy, seabiscuit.” You take his hand off the wall and stand next to Eris. “Three divorces should have made you wise by now.”
”I’m sorry, does my life as the number one charted artist confuse you, number four?”
He always brought that up
”What are you doing here anyway?” Chrysalis asks.
”I brought him!”
The shadow on the wall detaches and a blue haired man with a scraggly beard in silk, navy blue clothing and a trimmed cape steps out. A cold iron crown sits atop his head.
“Arty?! How the fuck long have you been standing there??”
Artemis chuckles and walks over, hugging Chrysalis and then you. “Being a fly on the wall has its uses in politics. How are you all! Oh it’s been far too long!” Arty goes around and hugs each and every one of you with a beaming smile.
”You look like retirement is treating you well.” Eris chimes.
”I wake up in less strange places with stranger people, yes.”
”That hardly sounds fun…” Chrysalis says.
”You would say that, you bimbo.”
She pinches his cheek.
From your position in the room, you step back and laugh once.
”What’re you laughing at, dickless?” Sombra says.
“This—it’s the first time we’ve all been back together since the split.”
The others look around at each other. “So we are…” Chrysalis says.
”Do we…do something with that?” Eris says.
“For old time’s sake…?”
”Can we even negotiate more time on this show?” Sombra says.
”We’re the Neon Knights. We saved the world and I’m a reigning monarch, I can MAKE them give us time.” Artemis says.
You look at all your old friends and put your hand in the center of them. “One more time?”
You smile when they all put their hands in.
The studio executives don’t even need convincing; they promise the show as much airtime as it needs for the historic event. The host uses his old comedian skills to stall the audience while a ragtag group of roadies are rapidly assembled and gear set up.
Eventually it was told to the audience, that the Neon Knights had come together for a reunion show in that very building.
It went over as well as expected.
When it was time, you all walked out on stage to an adoring public and a feeling you hadn’t quite felt in ten years. Going solo was the right choice, but nothing felt quite the same as Neon Knights fans.
Chrysalis grabs her mic over the din of cheers. “Look what the cat dragged back from the dead!”
Sombra punctuates that with a triple bass tap.
”We thought we’d come out here and show you what we’ve all learned in the last decade, so prepare your ears for orgasm.”
Tou’d all agreed on the song back stage, something that never made it onto the last NK record. Chrysalis gets close to the mic. “This is the greatest and best song in the world.”
You take the stage and start your next masterpiece. Music
You grunt and feel someone fall on top of your ribs to jolt you awake.
“HLORF! I’M UP, I’M UP! WHERE’S THE FIRE?!”
Eris giggles and kicks her feet dangling off the bed. “No fire! It’s today it’s today!”
You grind the gears in your brain, trying to figure out what day it was. You’re not the brightest bulb so you come up with nothing.
“…It’s Sunday?”
Eris leaps up and pushes you down to the bed again, straddling you. “It’s Hearthswarming!
“Hahn??”
You turn your clock and examine the date at the bottom. “Well fuck me sideways…”
Eris rolls off your waist and bicycle kicks her legs in the air over on her side of the bed. “It’s Hearthswarming! It’s Hearthswarming! Whatdja get me??” she asks turning to face you.
You meanwhile are still laying with no shirt, pajama pants, and morning wood.
“Did you get into the fucking sugar again?”
”I love the holidays! Come on, come on!” she exclaims.
“But I’m tiiiiired…”
What’s the point of being rich and successful if you can’t do what you want.
Eris gives you the puppy dog eyes, like her eyes actually inflate to get bigger and teary-er.
“Oh god, come on…”
”Pleeeeaaase Anon?”
“Eris stooooop.”
”Pweeeaaase huggy-bear?”
You squint your eyes shut and groan, throwing your feet over the bed.
“Fine! Fine! Let’s go be festive at this hour!”
”Yay!” Eris squeels, floating up to and latching onto your back. “Carry me!”
You grunt.
”I already have the video camera set up!”
Oh…great…
You walk with Eris on your back through the halls of your home towards wear the living room and Hearthswarming decorations are. But you also swerve at the last minute and go into the kitchen. Eris expresses puzzlement.
”Huh? Wha—Anonymous, my presents are in there.
“Yeah, but my toast is in here.”
You let her down and fish out some bread from the cabinets.
Eris leans over the island counter and groans. ”UUUUUUHHHHHHGGGGG THIS IS THE WORST.”
“You’re insanely old, did you never learn some patience?”
”Clearly I didn’t!”
You laugh once and put two good looking pieces into the toaster.
It had been about 18 months since the Neon Knights had defeated Grogar in a rock off and your second holiday with Eris since you were “official”. Since then you and her had used your hard earned money to get a nice contemporary house on the other side of Canterlot Mountain. The privacy ensured any prying eyes were warded off and let you both blare your amps.
The newfound fame had been good to you both, and it made your plans for the evening set in stone.
”At this rate my presents are gonna be unopened while we’re at the concert!”
You munch. “The Canterlot Hearthswarming Charity Concert isn’t for another fourteen hours.”
”AND YOU’RE TAKING THAT LONG TO EAT!” Eris’s eyes bug out when you hold the last piece of toast in front of your mouth but waver about putting it in.
”We have to break up.” She says.
You laugh and munch the toast down.
“Patience grasshopper.”
”I’ll be patient when I’m dead. Presents now!”
Eris grabs you by the hand and leads you into the living room.
The red and green packaging of your gift crumples in your hand as you tear it off to reveal-
“Wow Eris…another scarf.”
”The mountains get cold at night!”
“I know baby, but seven?”
”Now you have one for each day of the week!” she says, clapping her hands together in excitement.
You run that through your head and chuckle dryly, then plant one on her forehead.
“Thanks cutie, I love it.”
Eris wraps her arms around you and purrs into your neck, you laugh and pet her hair.
“After the chocolate fountain with my face on it, I was worried you’d outdo me this year.”
”No way, not when you do the decorating, you always make it better than Hearthswarming stuff.”
That had some truth to it. You always liked Christmas back on earth and brought some of the Yuletide spirit with you here. You’d insisted to Eris that you get a tree that gets decorated and have some lights put up, as well as the requisite number of stars.
”Now smile!”
You flash the horns while Eris tilts her head sideways and does a double peace sign to the flashing red video camera.
“Are we doing the holidays with the others too?”
”I mean after the celebration we’ll probably be allowed to crash at the palace.”
“It’s not like we live far away.”
”Chrysalis is always sweet on you, should we guilt her into swinging by here after?”
“I unno.”
Eris brings her feet up and moves all the gifts you’d given one another to the side so she can rest on the couch.
“You have a good holiday, Eri?”
”Every day is good when you’re here.”
"Gaaaay.”
”Totally.”
You tilt your head back and close your eyes, sighing and taking stock of things so far.
”How long until we have to be at the celebration?”
“Sound check is at 5 sharp.”
”Good then we have a few hours for the last gift.”
“Wha-whoa!”
Eris gets up from her spot next to you and straddles your waist again, kissing your lips and moving your hands to her rump. With an even motion she lifts her shirt off of her chest and tosses it over the camera.
-Later-
The Neon Knights stand in sweaters and thermal clothing behind the curtain at the Canterlot Hearhtswarming Charity Concert. Lifting the curtain bottom up, you can see people stretch out from the stage through the square the concert was being held in, down the streets of the city.
”Is watching you bend over my Christmas gift, Anonymous?”
You redden in the cheeks under your mask a shade and stand upright.
“Careful Chrys, I’m a taken man.”
The Changeling queen rolls her eyes and puts on her beanie and mittens. “Yes. Because that will stop me.”
You walk back over to the her strumming on your guitar. “Good holiday so far?”
”I just got back from a jaunty skiing trip with Photo yesterday afternoon.”
“Kinky.”
”You have no idea.”
“You know Eri wanted to extend you an invite to spend the eve or two at our place if you had nowhere else you’d rather be.” you say.
Chrysalis laughs her noblewoman’s laugh and boops your nose. ”Be a good boy and I might just take you up on that~”
You bat her hand away and head over to the others. Artemis and Sombra compare matching tattoos they got while Eris tugs her hoodie tighter.
”Okay!” Chrysalis says. “Are we ready for some goddamn holiday cheer?”
Sombra leaps behind the drums and gives a thumbs up while Artemis grabs an acoustic guitar.
Huey sticks his face out. “Thirty seconds.”
“Let’s kill this.”
Eris and you assume your positions and the curtain begins to raise just as Chrysalis assumes hers. The throngs of people cheer and applaud as the lights flick on and they see you, leading right into the song.
Artemis begins playing his guitar and you string along on a half held note. Chrysalis raises her arms to the side and closes her eyes. Lighters begin to pluck up from the crowd when the lights go down and she begins to sing. You’d brought this song from your memories of home. Your uncle and you would always play this each year when he taught you how to play guitar.
Chrysalis wiggles her mittens and makes illusionary green snow begin to fall from the sky, which pops into sparkling fractals when Sombra starts on the skins. This song wasn’t the heaviest or most complex, but seasonal songs hardly ever were. Chrysalis’s second verse was identical to the first, but the message radiated across the crowd and lifted their spirits.
A glowing green snowflake appeared above your heads, spinning slowly in the hearthfire while you blared your solo. Your hand drifts up and down the neck of your guitar while you slam the strings. Your hips gyrate and you tilt down as you transfer to the more complex second portion of it that ends with Chrysalis continuing to sing. You get too wrapped up in pinwheeling the power chords that Eris needs to bump her butt against yours to remind you of your place for the chorus.
The three of you take your places at microphones and repeat the same chant over and over again. Through Chrysalis’s magic you can feel it worm its way into the crowd. It takes less than one repetition for them to repeat the chant back at you and begin swaying their lighters back and forth in time to the beat.
Chrysalis swells her hands as the chorus continues and sends emerald lanterns floating into the sky where they pop once the song ends. You all step to the front of the stage to soak up the applause while Chrysalis takes the microphone.
”I hope the new year’s a good one, everyone! Thank you!”
