Twilight
Celestia sighed as Twilight cringed away from her, the smaller pony trembling on the verge of tears. “You have a lot to think about, Twilight. I’ll leave you be.”
The Princess turned away. With a snap of her wing the Royal Guards in the throne room quickly moved to follow their Princess out the main doors, each one awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the sniffling mare in the middle of the room.
Twilight felt tears crawling down her face as the sound of metal-clad hooves echoed through the throne room, and her eyes dropped to the floor as the heavy doors slammed shut. Twilight sat there for some minutes, hiccuping and sniffling, but eventually pushed herself standing again. She felt terrible, and frankly the last place she wanted to lay down and recover from a harsh reprimand from Princess Celestia was said Princess’s throne room.
Turning around, she started heading into the hall that lead to the guest chambers. She stopped, however, when she noticed a door behind Celestia’s throne. It wasn’t secured and didn’t bear any symbols that indicated it was off-limits to palace visitors, yet for the life of her Twilight couldn’t ever remember entering it before. Maybe it was a washroom? She could really use a sink to clean herself up right about now.
Trudging to the door, Twilight’s horn flashed and turned the knob when she walked into the room the first thing she noted when she walked into the room was that it was so very dark she was about to summon a ball of light at the top of her horn when she tripped over a protruding metal object. As she fell she felt her head impact on something then all she knew was black.
Slowly Twilight opened her eyes looking around her in fear. She realised that she was no longer in Equestria. As she got to her hooves and started walking around the mysterious hell blasted landscape that reminded her of pictures she had seen of Tartarus. Suddenly a shadow flitted across the landscape. Trotting towards it she came across a red pool. Suddenly realising how thirsty she was she dipped her hoof into it and raised it to her mouth. Crying out as a familiar coppery tang filled her mouth—‘blood’— she realised, but then again she was really thirsty and blood was better than no liquid at all. Lowering her muzzle to the pool she took a few hesitant gulps but the more she drank the more she realised that it was the best tasting liquid she ever had drunk. Thrusting her whole muzzle into the lake she gulped down mouthful after mouthful drinking down the sweet sweet nectar until she could drink no more. Raising her bloodstained face she looked out at the blasted landscape suddenly in the horizon Twilight saw a portal in the distance. Galloping towards it, she arrived at the portal thinking that it lead back to Equestria she stepped into it.
Walking out of the portal she immediately realised her mistake—she was on a overhang on a cliff face. Realizing that she would never see Equestria again she curled up and started to cry.
Peturabo
The pain was the only thought in my head as I gently flexed my right fingers just enough that they uncramped but not enough that they would let go from the handhold that I had dug in the rock. I had no memory from before I had climbed out of that hole and started to climb the cliff. I started to climb up the rest of the cliff but out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of purple. Reaching out my right hand I moved closer to it. When I had gotten to the overhang I saw what looked to me like a small purple horse. I was just about to leave it when I heard a sob I realised that this horse was alone, like me. Detaching my left hand from the cliff face I gently nudged the pony.
Twilight
I was dreaming of being back in the castle of Canterlot around my entire group of friends. They were all congratulating me on seeing through Cadence’s mask when suddenly they started yelling at me how I was the evil one and then suddenly they all started glowing with the elements of harmony on their necks and then Celestia appeared with the Element of Magic on her head they then shot the Elements at me. I could feel myself turning to stone and then as the stone reached my neck I woke up. I saw a creature that looked like the things Lyra always talked about—humans I think.
“Are you alright?” the creature asked me. I didn’t answer expecting the human to climb away and leave me to my misery but he didn’t, instead he reached out his hand and picked me up and then put me on his back. I held on to his neck with my hooves.
Peturabo
With the weird creature on my back I continued to climb up the cliff when I could see the top a rope fell down towards me. “GRAB ON; WE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THEN HAUL YOUR SORRY ARSE UP!” Ignoring the rope I continued to climb. “SUIT YOURSELF.” Inch by painful inch I haul myself and the pony up to the top when I had hauled myself over the top of the cliff. I could see a massive fortress in front of me silver armoured people pointing elegantly made guns at me. The pony on my shoulder curled up into the foetal position on seeing the guns.
“Who are you and why do you approach Fort Secunia in secret?” One of the figures said, He was wearing a gold helmet so he must be a high ranking officer.
I smiled, unafraid of the guns pointing at me. “Is that the name of this place?” I said gesturing to the fort.
“Aye it is and you are trespassing.”
I stood up. Even though I was only young—‘How did I know that?’—I stood just as tall as these fully grown men. “Who commands this fortress?” I demanded.
Speaking as if he was unsure to why he was replying to me the leader spoke up, “Warmaster Jason, Tyrant of Olympia.”
I smiled even more. “Take me to him,” I commanded.
“Of course. Follow me.”. As he started to lead us to the fortress he asked “What are your names?” to which I replied “Peturabo”, and to my surprise the purple pony on my shoulder replied as well “Twilight Sparkle.”
Meanwhile in Equestria…
“Twilight I apologize for snapping at you like that but I am under a lot of— Twilight?”
Celestia looked around her throne room but her student was nowhere to be seen. Just as Celestia was about to leave she noticed that the door to the mirror to the human world was open. Feeling a slight tinge of fear Celestia ran into the room. Upon seeing the mirror was rippling she let out a cry of fear. “Oh no.”
She stopped as she heard a cruel laughter coming out of the mirror. “HA, YOU MAKE IT TOO EASY TIA! REALLY, YELLING AT YOUR WHELP LIKE THAT.”
Celestia looked at the mirror as a familiar figure appeared in it. The other main six and her sister Luna who came running in when they heard the yelling slide to a halt as they saw it Celestia stood up to her full height. “What do you want Tzeentch? Didn’t you do enough when you corrupted my sister and turned her into Nightmare Moon?”
The creature just laughed. “I wanted to thank you Tia; thanks to you when the forces of Chaos invade the Elements of Harmony cannot do anything about it. This world will burn and it’s all your fault.”
He laughed again. “See you later Tia, oh and say hi to your student when you see her again will you?” As he walked away he suddenly stopped and turned back. “You have brought this upon yourself Tia.” With a final laugh Tzeentch disappeared.
Dramatis Personae
THE IV LEGION “the Iron Warriors”
Twilight Sparkle - Equerry to the primarch and warsmith of the 2nd grand battalion
Warsmith Berrosus - Warsmith of the 2nd Grand Battalion
Warsmith Barabas Dantioch - commander of the 51st expedition fleet
Kroeger - Warrior of the 23rd Grand Battalion
Warsmith Harkor - warsmith of the 23rd grand battalion
Warsmith Soltarn Vull Bronn, “The Stonewrought” - warsmith of the 45th Grand Battalion
Warsmith Barban Falk - Warsmith of the 235th Grand Battalion
Warsmith Andraaz - Warsmith of the 3rd Grand Company
Warsmith Koros
Warsmith Shon’tu
Warsmith Ferrous Ironclaw
Warsmith Toramino - leader of the Stor-bezashk
Warsmith Khr Vhalen - Warsmith of the 77th Grand Battalion
Warsmith Zhorisch
Commander Zhigo Trador - commander of the 23rd Armoured Company
Captain Erasmus Golg - Captain of the 11th Grand Company
Legionary Dionor - Commander of the 5th Grand Company of the 3rd Grand Battalion
Legionary Khorius Rex - 3rd Grand Company, 7th Grand Battalion
Legionary Zhinnon - Serving under Warsmith Vhalen in in the 77th Grand Battalion, 5th Counter-Armour Wing, 30th Squad
Ancient Vhakis - Assigned to the 7th Assault Cohort, 23rd Grand Battalion
Jharek Kelmaur - Chaos sorcerer assigned to the 1st grand battalion ‘The forlorn hope” prior to the invasion of Equestria
Warsmith Keagan - First Triarch, Warsmith of the 1st Grand Battalion commander of “The forlorn hope” terminator company
This was proofread? *checks* O.K., the story itself seems to be fine, but the title, description, and author’s notes are all red flags — you can not afford to do either of the first two half‐arsed and since the author’s notes are at the very beginning of the chapter you can’t skimp there either.
5941490 the title and description was done by my younger cousin
5941494
Alright, I understand, but my point stands. Plenty of people won’t even click on the story without the first two at least being correct, and many who do will run when they see the author’s note because they won’t even bother reading past it to see that, yes, the story has actually been proofread. Some of those will down‐vote based upon those factors alone.
5941518 i have moved the authors note to the bottom
...alright, let me be positive first. This is just the sort of work I have been looking for- a story in which a Primarch meets some of our favorite ponies before/during the The Horus Heresy. Seriously, its a great concept and I am pleased to see it being carried out.
However...
1.) Malal/Malice? Really sure you want to use him for this? I mean I like him as much as the next guy who also mourns things like Squats, Zoats, Land Trains, and such but out of all the Chaos gods to pick to torment Equestria you went with Malice? His domain is self-loathing and overthrowing of oppression; he is literally fed by hatred for Chaos. He only tends to poke his head into matters that deal with fighting Chaos...granted by using Chaos but still I have a point. He isn't antagonistic unless you are a cultist to one of the Big Four or are trying to kill him.
You still have time I am sure to go and change Malal out for someone else. Nurgel would be neat choice.
2.) Why Peturabo (seriously, Iron Warriors seem the go to guys for warbands on this site)? This one doesn't technically have any plot flaws to it but seriously why him? Everything I ever read about the guy paints him as a under-appreciated genius who simmers in quiet anger. Not saying many of the other Primarchs would be a better choice but I just doubt Perturabo would have brought Twilight up the cliff with him, let alone become her friend. Guy just doesn't seem like a fan of companionship. Now you know who really liked other people? Angeron. Seriously, dude was such a bro he told the Emperor 'no thanks' on becoming a badass space-knight because he didn't want to leave his fellow rebel gladiators to die alone. That guy got Friendship in spades; chainaxes too but you know he is always willing to share them.
5942188 1 problem i see with your argument of angron .... KHORN he hates magic twilight is the element of magic you see the problem
Because Iron Warriors are popular, I take it. Best get a better proofreader.
5951277 i will
Uh oh...
6961669 What?
6963161 just getting a bad feeling about what Tzeentch has planned...