A Joke Gone Too Far

by Nivarion

Wake up!

Author's Note:

This started as 3 AM madness a few days ago. I have the beginning. I have the ending. What's in between makes your guess as good as mine.

Also, as I'm editing this, I realize that I am a well and truly awful person. Especially to characters I like.

Edit 5/29/2015 Alright, cleaned this up a little. Probably removed a hundred words and reformatted a few paragraphs. Looks much better to me.

Wake up call

With a gasp, Twilight woke up, entangled in a terrible, unrelentingly quilted foe. After several seconds of impotent struggle, the offending covering fell from her bed in a heap leaving the alicorn a sweaty and slightly smelly mess atop her bed. Twilight brushed a few sweat plastered strands of mane from her face before declaring the obvious. " Celestia's backside! It's hot in here!" Twilight said, before noticing the other obvious thing.

The sun shone brightly through the translucent walls of her new castle, telling her that it was well past her planned 7 AM wake up. In a new panic she threw herself from her bed, "Oh no! What time is it? I must have forgotten to set the alarm! I'm going to miss breakfast with Pi- AAAH!" The once defeated blanket had sought out it's revenge, and had hooked one of her forehooves, sending the princess sprawling to the floor, where on landing, she bit her tongue. "OW! Son of a! OW!" Twilight exclaimed as blood began to fill her mouth. "Why does that have to hurt so much?" She asked herself, making a new dash for the bathroom to rinse out her mouth.

As luck would have it though, the door of the bathroom was locked when she got there. She banged a hoof against the door. There was a swish of water and a soft moan. "Sbike? Sbike arww you in the bafroom?" Great her tongue was swelling.

"Eh..." The young dragon's voice floated from the other side. "Too hot. in bath." There was another swish of water, presumably Spike slipping back under the water.

"Sbike! I neeb the bafroom!" Twilight said, knocking on the door again, but the drake didn't answer. "How do you even feew hot? You can sit in wava!" Well, if that was how he wanted to be. Twilight charged her horn and used her telekinesis to turn the lock from the other side, a moment later she was rinsing her mouth out with nice cool water. She already had a pounding headache though; a sign that she should go easy on the magic today. Twilight had over done it the night before, and if she wasn't careful she could cause a magic burn out.

"AH! What the heck Twilight!" Spike shouted, coming up out of the water for air. "Can't a guy have some- ew..."

Twilight spat a mouthful of bloody water into the sink and turned to look at spike. "What do you mean, ew?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

Spike gripped the edge of the pewter tub and sat up. "Uh, you weren't by chance chewing any gum last night were you?"

Twilight frowned. "Yes... no." Twilight closed her eyes and sighed.

"Did you spit it out?" Spike asked, cruelly making his point.

"No." Twilight said, feeling through her mane till she found it. A decent sized orange glob worked into the purple strands. With a groan Twilight leaned her head against the mirror.

"Are we gonna have to cut your mane out?" Spike asked apprehensively.

Twilight groaned. "I sure hope not. Last time this happened ponies were asking me if I had cancer for a month. She didn't want to move her head from the cool spot she had found, as a growing pain began to thump just behind the base of her horn. "I'll go see Rarity, or... Spike?" Twlight asked, realizing that a better idea had just presented itself."Will you got and get Rarity for me?"

"But- But it's so hot out!" he whined. "I don't want to get out of the tub."

Twilight got closer to him and put on her best puppy dog eyes."Spike? Please? for me?" she fluttered her eyelashes. "I'll let you spend the rest of the day with Rarity if you so choose."

Spike's face lit up for a moment, before taking on a look of panic mixed with constipation. Twilight knew that face, but it was too late; a bright green fireball erupted with a loud belch from the dragons' mouth. A fireball That Twilight took right to the face. "WHY!" Twilight shouted, flailing her wings and hooves in different directions as her nose hairs were presumably sent to Celestia.

The pain of the mild fireball to the face was soon outdone by the new and exciting sensation of a scroll materializing. Now while normally, the scroll materialized harmlessly in the epicenter of the fireball, the epicenter of this fireball had just happened to be Twilight's ear Canal. Also, her mane was on fire, which didn't help at all.

Spike, always quick on his feet began splashing his bathwater at Twilight as quickly as he could. Half of the water in the claw footed bath tub flew, soaking the Alicorn, the rug and the floor. Fire now safely out, Twilight found herself lying on her side. Climbing to her feet, her magic plucked the offending letter from the places it should not have gone. With a groan she unrolled the soggy paper.

Dearest Twilight Sparkle.
How are you today? It has been a very long time since we have heard from you, our closest of fri-

Unfortunately, that was all that could be read of Luna's immaculate handwriting as the ink was running at a rapid pace. "Really?" Since when does Luna just send us letters?" Twilight asked, slowly, looking in the mirror again and groaned. Well, at least the gum wasn't an issue any more.

"Geeze Twilight, I'm really sorry!" Spike said, jumping from the tub. "I didn't feel that one coming at all! Do you need me to get the burn salve?"

She shook her head. "No Spike, I don't think I'm burnt that badly. I'm still going to need Rarity, though for completely different reasons. Also, if you could swing past Sugar Cube Corner, and tell Pinkie that I'm gonna have to cancel today..." Twilight sighed and looked at her destroyed mane again. While she didn't place tons of emphasis on her looks, she still liked to look presentable. Which she for certain did not right now.

"Yeah, I'll do that. Sorry Twilight." Spike said backing out of the room. "Also, it smells in here now. Not that that's your fault, it's totaly mine, so sorry about that." Well he was right about that. Right about the smell, it wasn't enteriely his fault. Well okay, it was mostly his fault, but he couldn't help it that he was used as a magical mailbox. "It's okay Spike, it was just an accident. Just... Just go get Rarity. I'm going to grab some breakfast and a shower."

Comments

[PonyJosiah13]

Formatting needs a bit of work, there are a number of run-on sentences that need to be redone a bit to make it better. But this is turning out to be an interesting idea and true to character for both.