Equestria
Canterlot- Statue Garden
Present Day
You ever been in a position so long that you get stiff and have trouble moving afterwards? Yeah that’s how I feel, except I CAN’T MOVE!!! I’m literally a STATUE! No seriously, I have been stuck on this pedestal for years… seriously I’ve been sitting here getting rained on, looked at, snowed on, spit at, etc… oh, and POOPED ON! No, I’m not kidding… first thing I’m going to do once I stop being a statue is shoot the first pigeon I see… yeah that’s right… pigeons… I hate those things now. Being a statue can be pretty boring, but thankfully here in Equestria, just like back home, Teachers just LOVE to take their students to important places filled with boring art! As it was today! Boy does it cheer me up when they come around in these school groups, it helps end all the boring monotony of being a statue!
“Alright now children be very careful here. This garden is filled with priceless statues never before seen in any other part of Equestria!” said the Teacher. I assumed she was a Teacher. She had a pink coat, a whitish pink mane, and a cutie mark showing 3 smiling flowers. As usual they started near the front with the more dangerous villains, mainly Discord, he of course felt like bragging about it.
‘MUWAHAHAHA!! You see that? They chose ME first! Oh yes dear education official! Tell them all of my delightful CHAOS!!!’ Discord said telepathically. One benefit/curse of the special reason for our imprisonment was that we could all talk to each other telepathically, if we stayed on the edge of consciousness. Sadly only Discord and I had done just that… don’t get me wrong I always liked Discord but you try living with only one person to talk to for 1000 years… maybe more I kinda lost count… yeah you’d get annoyed too.
‘Yes Discord, we all know of your chaos’ I replied ‘but come on don’t you think that it’s been over discussed?’ I thought to him with a mental raised eyebrow, don’t ask how one does that it’s much too difficult to explain ‘I hope they come and talk about me for once!’ apparently the Teacher did just that!
“Alright children this statue is one of the more strange ones.” The Teacher stated to her class “Can anyone guess what he represents?” she questioned, while Discord grumbled about ‘Ignoring good Chaos, and lack of appreciation’ but I happily ignored him.
Then they were all looking at me I tried to straighten my already stiff pose to look more impressive. There I was in all my glory I had my sword in one hand and my shield in the other. My tunic looked as if I was being buffeted by a strong wind my hat looking like a traditional Windsock in the gale. My pointed ears were revealed as my hair had been blown back. My gaze looked heroic and as if I was judging those I looked at. My Gauntlets, which had retained a bit of their original color compared to my stone gray self, shimmered with hidden power as the sun glinted of the remaining gold. My boots looked sturdy though scuffed. All in All I struck a heroic figure, even with the single earring.
“Heroism” said one filly.
“Truth” cried another
“Justice” questioned one colt
“Battle” shouted one in the back
This battle for the answer lasted for a while as the Teacher smiled at her hard trying pupils. Then when a fight broke out between 3 of them, who had already gotten into a fight in front of Discord, she put a stop to it quickly.
“Actually class” stated the Teacher “This statue mainly represents Courage!” she said smiling slightly “It is said that this creature once had the courage to even stand against the Princess’ for what he believed was right. It was also incredibly powerful and could fight the Princess’ to a standstill barely breaking a sweat! It is also rumored that he was incredibly wise, it’s said that he could even outwit Equestria’s greatest tacticians! This showcase of abilities is what is known as a ‘balanced trinity’ and it is the rarest kind of magic known to Ponykind! It is said that this creature known as a ‘Hylian’ got his powers from a mystical force called ‘The Triforce’ which he brought from his world. But! It is said he also had a dark side, one so terrible it was as feared as NightMare Moon! Let this be a lesson children, where there is light, there are also shadows.” the Teacher lectured to her class.
“I knew that!” said the voice of an orange coated filly with a purple mane who looked strangely like a chicken, an image that made me want to instinctively pull back in fear… trust me, Chickens are EVIL!!
“You did not!” countered a small butter colored filly with red hair topped with a pink bow.
“Did to!” countered the orange one again.
Oh dear… this could take a while… HEY! While they argue let’s have a flashback!
Earth
Houston – Texas
Video Game Convention
1000 or so Equis Years ago
“Man this is gonna be EPIC!” Said my pal Khalil.
“Calm down Khalil! I’m trying to drive here!” I shouted at him chuckling.
“Yeah Khalil you really want to send us off the road?” chimed in Louis, another pal of mine.
We were on our way to the Video Game Convention being held that year in Houston, I had moved to Texas a few years ago but we had gotten the old school trio back together again for this convention. We were all cosplaying of course, you can’t go to a convention without Cosplaying! Khalil was dressed as some random Wrestler, he loved wrestling I personally didn’t understand any of it though, which translated into bare skin and a mask. Louis was dressed as a Spy from TF2 and as a result was twirling the Butterfly Knife that went with his costume he had deliberately dulled the Blade so that he could bring it into the convention. He was also wearing a Ski-Mask over his face and was wearing a red toned, pin-striped suit. He also had an E-Cigarette that looked like a real one to help him with the image, he also had a lighter that he used to ‘light’ the cigarette, it released water vapor that looked like real smoke. While I was dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda, mainly the one from Twilight Princess with a bit from others, wearing the traditional Green Tunic with many of his normal items. I had spent WEEKS working on designing this costume! I had the Master Sword, the Hylian Shield, the Longshot, a Hero’s Bow, a Boomerang, the Boots, just about everything he normally has. The only thing I was really missing was some cool Gauntlets, I had brought a bit of money with me because I was hoping to find a pair at the Convention. But even if I didn’t then at least we could all have a good time.
We walked into the Convention Center and spent a fun couple of Hours going around the place, we tested games, saw other cosplays, got autographed stuff, you know normal convention stuff! We were on our way to sign up for the Cosplay competition, since we all wanted to enter into it, when I saw a cosplayed Merchant selling Cosplay items and then I saw THEM. There among the other useless and intriguing junk he had was the most epic piece of Cosplay loot I had seen, and they would work PERFECTLY with my cosplay! I told the guys to hold up a moment and ran to this dudes booth.
“Hey man! You got some nice stuff here!” I told him trying not to show too much of my curiosity and to avoid him bumping up his prices at the sight of interest, trust me some people do this kinda thing… that or I’m just paranoid.
“Oh” he replied eyeing my slyly in a way that sent a bad feeling to my brain. “See anything that interests you? Perhaps some of my lovely Legend of Zelda merchandise?” he questioned me.
‘PHILIP!’ my brain shouted, ‘back out NOW man! This guy sends out ALL kinds of bad vibes!’
‘When did you become a psychic?’ questioned another.
Oh boy here we go again… oh yeah in case I didn’t mention it earlier I have voices in my head. Sometimes they are helpful sometimes they’re not… ok most of the time they aren’t they end up being more annoying than anything else. After forcefully putting down their brief little tirade I turned back to face the Merchant.
“Possibly, how much are those Gauntlets?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
“500 dollars,” he stated flatly.
“Yeah, I don’t know…” I said sounding like I was on the edge of buying, “maybe there are some better deals elsewhere…” looking around like I was considering leaving.
“450 dollars,” he interjected, probably sensing I really wanted it.
“Yeah no, I’ll go elsewhere,” I said as I started to walk away. I saw his eyes darting around his table desperately trying to figure a way to get my money. I had brought $750 for spending at the convention, but I really wanted to get a good deal here.
“Wait!” he cried after me. “I’ll put the price at 575 dollars AND add any Zelda merchandise you want!” As he said this, I could FEEL the desperation rolling off of him; guess he hadn’t been doing as much business as he had originally hoped.
“Deal,” I said and turned around sharply. While he had quite a bit of gear that Link had owned at least once throughout all the Zelda games, he only had a few that I didn’t already have. After paying him I put the new gear into my bags and started walking back towards my friends who were grinning at my exchange with the Merchant.
As I was putting on the Gauntlets mid-stride I heard the Merchant mutter something. I half turned to him and caught the majority of what he said.
“… Young adventurer, thinks he’s so sly… oh I’ll have fun with him… bound to get my revenge once I send him off… sure to be amusing for me…” he grumbled, the rest was gibberish. I was pulling on the final strap as I turned back towards my friends… that was the last time I saw them.
Suddenly a glowing hole appeared underneath me, people saw it and ran back from it.my friends looked at it wearing looks of disbelief. I started to fall back into it and I attempted to reach for a hand hold my eyes wide. The last thing I heard before my head fell into the hole was a shouted cry of “PHILIP!” from both of my friends and to make matters worse… I entered a void.
= The Void =
: An Unknown, if any, amount of Time :
So who knows how long I was in the void… felt like forever. I had nothing to do, no control. Oh and to make matters worse the voices decided this was the PERFECT time to, of all things, LECTURE me!
‘Told you it was a bad idea!’
Shut Up…
‘Yeah’
You too
‘Wow… RUDE much?’
Yes this is how I normally act WHILE FLOATING IN A VOID!!
‘Oh… touché.’
‘BURN!’
Don’t you even START!
‘Fine! Party pooper…’
This of course went on for the remainder of my stay within the Void… man I hated that place.
Equestria
Back to the Present
Oh, hey let’s pause the Flashback. The tour group is finished fighting!
Oh… and now they’re leaving… whelp that’ll be the most excitement we’ll have here for a couple decades. That’s what I thought until I heard cracking… and the sound of Discord’s laugh, not just in my head but also… in the air. Discord… the literal GOD of CHAOS was free, FREE!?
‘Well’ my voices and I thought in synch, for once, ‘there goes the neighborhood…’ and then after he kicked off his stone covering, he walked over to me.
“Well, well, well,” Discord gleefully gloated, grinning at me. “Looks like I’M back in business!”
‘That’s great, Discord buddy!’ I thought at him, 'hey pal, since you’re free and all... Would you mind letting me out as well? You know, since we’re the BEST of FRIENDS!?’
“Hmm,” he pondered, tapping his chin with a talon. “I could… You know what? How about this!” He was suddenly in my face, with a Cheshire grin on his face “I’ll break you out... IF I get defeated again! Okay? Good! Ta-Ta for now I have some CHAOS to spread!” he said not giving me a chance to respond. Then he poofed up an upside down umbrella and put on a bowler hat, then, he flew away… that’s right he FLEW… AWAY… LIKE MARY freaking POPPINS!!! Sometimes I really hated that jerk.
Thankfully I didn’t have to wait too long before I felt Discord’s magic crack open my stone casing.
‘Aw man, and we were Mint Condition to!’
‘Shut Up’.
But yeah it was a real short wait, only two days… yeah, Discord only stayed out of prison for 2 days… and he’s a GOD? Then again so where SunBurnt and CraterFace oh or more commonly known as Celestia and Luna… then again… they may have grown up since I last saw them when they were teenagers… yeah, heck unless they were immortal they might be DEAD!
That thought sobered me up a bit, but hey I had to get moving or be caught again! I had to at LEAST set a better Jail-Break record than Discord. I quickly shook off the dust and, using my Mole Mitts, buried the rest of the stone fragments. Then, after hopping back onto the pedestal, I pulled out my Saria’s Ocarina played The Elegy of Emptiness (All official Zelda song names will be shown like this one), leaping away as it created a statue in my likeness. Thankfully since I didn’t look like Kid Link my statue didn’t look like “Ben Drowned”; though the face looked a bit… ‘Trolly’ I guess, if that’s even a word.
Quickly using The Dominion Rod (All Special official Zelda Items will be shown like this… except for Saria’s Ocarina since it BARELY counts as an item in my book, oh and same with non-special items like arrows, bombs, Deku nuts, sticks, seeds, etc.) I was able to get it to copy my earlier position, thank goodness it could move its limbs. After double checking the area, making sure it looked undisturbed, I stopped to admire my handiwork.
“Who says you can’t be the wielder of courage and not have a little bit of wisdom!” I said, speaking out loud for the first time in who knows how long. Hearing a noise, I quickly ran into the Hedge Maze.
As I dived into the Hedge I saw two moving ponies, followed by some Royal Guards, wheeling Discord on a trolley back to his pedestal, once again as a statue. I spent a few seconds silently laughing at his misfortune before running through the maze to freedom.
After running for a few moments, the maze began to take on a familiar look… I groaned quietly to myself. It was pretty much the same layout as the garden in Ocarina of Time… except they also had air support! Thankfully the Pony guards were just as stupid as the Hyrule guards in the game, so getting past them was no sweat.
After getting out of the Maze I encountered some brightly glowing windows. I walked up to them and heard the sounds of music, voices, silverware, glasses, FOOD!
“Well looks like the Canterlot Royalty are hosting a party!” I said to myself wishing I had my gear… Lousy gaurds looting me. I almost feel sorry for what'll happen if they try and use any of it. Almost.
Anyways… back to the party! I glanced inside to see all the Nobles (those snots) and the middle classers (the Normals) partying. After a bit of searching I found the “Guests of Honor,” 6 ponies whom I instantly recognized.
‘Of course!’ I thought ‘I’ve hit the show! I had my suspicions when I saw the tour group that freed Discord!’
‘Wow… it took you THAT LONG?’
‘Shut. Up.’
You see before ending up here I was a Brony… not a hardcore Brony. Just a normal one, I watched the show, read fanfiction, enjoyed fanart, and talked with other Bronies. Like Louis! So when I first got to Equestria it was Thrills Ville! Then ponies flipped out at me and BAM! ZAM! FLASH! I was turned to stone… actually it took them a few years to discover me, and a few years after that to catch me! Anyways… I had a point here… oh yeah! Since I was a Brony I easily recognized the Mane 6!
As I was leaning against the window above them all I failed to notice a single chicken. It was a slight golden color and lived in the Gardens… it was also immortal… and I had once accidently hit it with a fire arrow. Needless to say it remembered me and quickly attacked. After a quick scuffle, which I totally let him win, I ended up being flung through the window and landing back first, thank goodness for my shield, on the banquet table. Upon impact, I slid a few feet before coming to a stop, loudly knocking off glasses and platters of food, some of which I managed to sample as I went by. (What? I hadn’t eaten for a couple Centuries!) Upon stopping, everyone in the room was looking at me.
‘well… this will most likely not end well… STUPID CHICKEN!’ I thought as I stood up, grinning nervously. I looked around me at the stunned ponies, some of which were now sporting edible head pieces, including some of the guests of honor. Rarity did not look pleased with the new fashion statement.
'uh oh... quick! Stall!'
“GOOOOD EVENING CANTERLOT!” I said in my best Robin Williams impression, seriously go watch “Good Morning, Vietnam” to hear how it kind of sounded, to my stunned audience. “How is everypony tonight? Good? Good!” I shouted, my voice booming close to the level of “The Royal Capslock,” smiling the entire time. Trust me, I know; I once got into a shouting match with Princess Luna... she always was a loud mouth. I quickly brushed the remaining food off my tunic as I looked around. “I can’t believe you guys had a party… and DIDN’T invite ME!” I said faking shock. “I mean honestly! A guy can’t be put in stone AND remembered for a couple centuries?” I pouted.
“WHO DARES DISTURB THE FESTIVITIES” I heard a voice shout from the big doors. Uh Oh… looks like the Princess’s were back to enjoy the party. I quickly tried to keep myself from going pale as I turned around to face them.
“LUNA!” I yelled happily. “Long time no see! How’s that achne coming? Does your face still look like the surface of your moon?” I asked mockingly. To which I heard gasps from around the room, including behind me where the Elements stood.
“That voice… tis not one we hath heard for over a 1000 years. Thou hast returned? How? Why? Oh Joyous Day!” Princess Luna said flying up from the crowd to see me better. “Oh friend Link! We hath missed you since our return! Where have you been? We half expected thee to be near the head of our welcome back committee!” Luna said as she hugged me tightly.
“Luna…” I gasped out “Can’t… breathe…” By now, I was starting to match Luna's fur.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Luna squeeked out, quickly releasing me. “But please! Do not torture me for long. Where have you been?”
“Didn’t SunButt tell you?” I asked while smirking slightly, puzzled that she didn't already know. “After all she knew where I was the entire time! Actually paid me a visit every couple of years!”
Luna looked puzzled at this and smirked slightly as well.
“You know well that our sister does not enjoy that Nickname. But no, she has not told me anything of your whereabouts.” Luna said. “Let us ask my sister at once! But first I want you to meet my newest friends, and the new Elements of Harmony.” She said happily, guiding me towards the Mane 6.
“Luna,” I said, feigning shock “I can’t believe you would try to replace me! I thought we had something special!” My grin giving away the joke.
“Oh I would never DREAM of replacing you!” Luna replied smiling as well.
Then we arrived to the mane 6 who had been watching the entire ordeal with puzzled curiosity. Except for Pinkie Pie of course who was grinning and barely staying in her seat.
“Girls this is Link, he is a trusted friend and confidant to myself and to Celestia!” Luna said “Link these are the Elements of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle Element of Magic, AppleJack Element of Honesty, Rarity Element of Generosity, Fluttershy Element of Kindness, Rainbow Dash Element of Loyalty, and Pinkie Pie Element of Laughter!” Luna said gesturing to each in turn.
They all nodded their heads and mumbled greetings to me, I could tell they all wanted to know more but Luna interrupted them all.
“Tis day is most grand and joyous! Come! We must all celebrate both my return as well as a defender of Equestria’s!” Luna boomed as the party went back into action.
I totally love it XD
Damn... Scootalo is evil! Ma God!
P.S. Oh Celestia is going to BURN! I can't wait for next chapter :P I am putting my money on 'I eat Celestia is cake and she turned me to stone' XD
Good sir, i think you overdid it a slight bit with the capslock. It get's slightly annoying to have a capslock broken character. Otherwise I am interested in the story and shall look out for updates.
PS: it might be because I imagine all capslock to be shouting, making me shout slightly while reading it.
wow... OMG! I just submitted this story today and it already has TONS of Favorites and 2 comments? I must be dreaming! This is only my second story my first one definitely wasn't this popular!! Thank You! Thank You ALL!
5965373 kinda was aiming for shouting...
5965325 LOL! Great idea!
Boom. Wow. Ok. Yeah. This is different. I LOVE IT!
*Takes out clipboard*
Is it too much to ask if we, when it's right for both of us, can do a crossover?
5965944 not at all! I'm all caught up on your story so you just tell me if you wanna be part of his past, the present or both? Possible Love interest? BFF's, partners in crime? Just PM me! I'm working on the next chapter but it's barely in development!!
Also Thx for Faving it!!
Also anyone else who wants to crossover Displaced fics just comment about it or PM me!
5965977 I'll PM you with more info once I can get a chance.
*twitches from the spelling, but gives a tentacle up to the golden chicken.*
5965988 Sorry... I posted this un-edited since I couldn't get an editor on such short notice! Plus I promised to have it out this last weekend but I failed to submit it after publishing the chapter
FINALLY A LINK DISPLACED YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i.imgur.com/5hYZGUv.png?1
How dose this look? i tried to make it look similar to yours you can try it if you want till some thing better comes along ^_^
Hey tia what were was link the past melenium?uh....oh it was nothing i just got stoned. ... ... ...suprise?
5966854 O.o ... I LOVE IT! Will totally use it Thx!
5967080 Np ^_^
I saw the story image and immediately thought "I love the Power Glove, it's so bad."
5967227 lol ... Thx I guess
I'm sorry, but couldn't you have at least made sure the description was proofread? It's bad enough that I've seen so many poor displaced stories that I've reached the point of becoming instantly wary the moment I see a new one.
Probably the most important parts of a story are the title and the description. Why? Well, those two are the first things potential readers are going to see, so you want to make absolutely sure that they are good enough to get the reader interested in the story. The best way to do this is to have an interesting and attention-grabbing title, along with a well written description. Otherwise, how do you expect to get anyone even slightly interested in reading your story?
Allow me to use myself as an example. Ignoring the vast amount of other Displaced stories which were usually pretty bad, let's focus on the title and description of this story. Being a potential reader, the first thing I see is the title. The title for this story works; it's nothing great, but it was enough to make me curious. Clicking the name, the next thing I notice is the image next to the description. This is really the first issue; it's fitting, I suppose, but the yellow surrounding everything makes it look like a quick and messy edit done in Microsoft Paint.
In fact... *five second Google search* that's exactly what it is. While there's nothing wrong with editing a picture to use, you want to make sure it's neat. Honestly, why didn't you just use white? Looking at the actual picture I can see the entire background was white, so it really would have made things easier for you.
Anyway, the final thing I look at is the description. Massive overuse of ellipses, randomly capitalized words, random words in all-caps, and various other grammar issues. I also see where you mention editing the picture, but my point still stands that if you were going to edit it, you could have tried making it look a little neater (again, using white instead of yellow would have been better since it wouldn't contrast so much with the rest of the image). All in all, the description definitely needs some work.
Now, with all of that said, can you see what I mean when I say that the title and description are incredibly important? After seeing the numerous grammar errors in the description alone, why in the world would a potential reader be convinced to read on? Common sense would indicate that, if such issues are present in something as short as the description, then that surely doesn't say good things about what the actual story will look like. Again, that could be wrong. You could have the greatest displaced story ever written (not saying much, but you get the picture), but no one would know because they would be turned away by the poorly written description.
Edit:
Just to be fair to the story, I decided to look at the first chapter.
Yeah, I see my initial impression with the description was entirely accurate. Ignoring the nonsensical cliches present in all of these displaced stories ("Oh look! I'm a statue and I'm SO BOOOOORRRREEDDDDD [see, it's funny 'cause I made it RELALLLLY long and ALL CAPS TO SHOW HOW BORED I AM] because
CelestiaSunbutt turned me into a statue because no displaced story is able to actually portray her or the other characters in a way that isn't massively OOC!"), the entire chapter was filled to the brim with grammar issues. I'm sorry but I honestly had to stop within a couple of paragraphs.5967170 though could you possibly make the center of the triforce blue? It kinda is part of the story. if not it a fine!
5967227 Thx... I guess.. you know I did do that myself...
5967348 hmm.. thank you for that. You are indeed right about pretty much everything. The beginning is kind of cliched but I had no real idea how else to do it.. the descriptions do need work. I posted this chapter Un-Edited cause I promised to get it out by this time. I plan to get it edited and reposted.
Using your suggestions I will do my best to fix the issues with the description as best I can.
Thank you again for this massive amount of feedback.. seriously this is the largest amount of feedback I have ever gotten. Hopefully I can fix it enough to where you can also enjoy the story because I do make it original afterwards.
5967348 oh and (slight spoiler) celestia had a really good and in character reason for popping him into stone.. (end spoiler)
And I know I need to fix the picture and I just got a new one from zeldawolffang which I plan to use so it will look better. Also I chose yellow because I was thinking about Triforce when I made it.
5967443
I'm glad my comment was able to help. However, one thing you said concerned me a bit:
This is your story, and that means you should never feel like you have to immediately post a new chapter even though you don't feel like it's ready. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking an extra day or two after finishing a chapter to go over it several times looking for errors. My advice would be to look to several of the proofreader groups on this site (just type proofreader into the search bar) and ask someone if they'd be willing to act as a proofreader. Or heck, ask if more than one person would be willing to look your story over. That way you have multiple sets of eyes looking over your story to catch things you might have missed, and they can also help you by tossing out potential ideas.
If you don't want to ask for help with proofreading for whatever reason, then here are some tips for you. First, try reading the chapter out loud. Why? Well, the way your mind works makes it hard to check for things like grammar errors when reading silently, because your mind will often automatically correct mistakes as you read silently, meaning you never realize there was an error there. Reading out loud makes it nearly impossible for your mind to autocorrect, as you hear the mistakes as you say them out loud. It actually makes a lot of sense considering most mistakes would disrupt you when reading out loud, making them easier to spot. A second tip would be to wait a day or so before looking for errors. It's hard enough to look over your own work for errors, and it's even harder to do immediately after finishing it. When you finish a chapter, don't post it. Take a bit of a break, then sit down with a fresh mind and then do a check.
Most importantly, don't let others dictate when the chapter is released. Did you make a release schedule or something? Like, you left a comment or something else where you said, "Next chapter in five days!" If that is the reason, then just realize that such schedules are not set in stone. Any game developer or any content creator will tell you that giving set deadlines is a bad thing to do, because it puts completely unnecessary pressure on the maker.
In fact, to give you a bit of encouragement, I'll see if I can't do a quick run through this first chapter and point out mistakes and possible ideas and tips. I'm not sure how much free time I'll have tomorrow, but I'll see what I can do.
5967552 wow thx, and that kinda is what I did. I just skimmed through it myself and discovered that I left little note for myself and my editors that were not meant to go into the actual story.. to which I promptly facepalmed.
Luna' s going to be pissed at Celestia. Favorite
5967562
I thought that was the case. Usually when I see someone rush something out (game, mod, story, whatever) it tends to be from having set themselves a deadline, usually not giving themselves enough time and leaving them feeling pressured to get it out on time.
Anyway, like I said I'll see if I can find some time tomorrow to look through the first chapter and see what I can do.
5967652 thx
5967353 i'll get on it :P
5967353 i.imgur.com/wfDAVZz.png?1
There you go
5968937 Thx!! I'll really appreciate it!
5968965 Np ^_^
Why was he imprisoned in stone if he was a hero?
5973293 I could tell you but...
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If you really want to have a spoiler on your concience then PM me or else just wait and it will all make sense!
Also free Internet cookie to whoever gets the reference from the gif!
5973581 AAHHH...
"'ello Sweetie."
5977877 Congragulations!
Have a cookie! betweenthepagesblog.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a5924ef0970b01901ead76f2970b-pi
Uh oh... I think some one else heard about the cookies...
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Sadly not everyone got a cookie...
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poor david... he can't hold onto anything.. including cookies
Best transition I've read so far
5973293
cockatrice