A Missing Knight Of The Round
The mountain village of Onyxstead was one of the rarest sights in Equestria. A abandoned frontier town.
Once a center of gem mining in the north, now a quiet empty set of buildings left in the great exodus after the seemingly endless fountain of natural riches went dry. This was before the discovery of rock farming, that could keep a stable replenishing source of gems. Of course, by the time the needed innovation came around, Onyxstead was already dying. The only thing rock farming could do at that point was staunch the fatal bleeding. The town languished for a few months as ponies packed and left for better pastures before quietly dying and left to rot.
It had been over two hundred years ago when the last pony left.
It was there, among the collapsing faces of storefronts and the sagging roof of the town hall, that the town got it's first visitor in centuries.
A unicorn stallion with a reddish brown coat and black robes, made his way along the empty main thoroughfare, the sounds of wind and creaking wood echoing through the cool air. While Onyxstead was robbed of any material value, its magical worth was, and this was an understatement, beyond comprehension. The husk of a town was standing on one of the purest magical laylines, in Equestria. Second only to the Everfree layline, and he was not going to risk life and limb as well as his freedom. Most of the other lines existed in more populated areas, where the unicorn knew that the current brand of magic he was building would be recognized in an instant.
The sky was cloudy. Perfect for what the unicorn planned to do. He didn't want any prying eyes from pegasi that might have a flight path nearby seeing what he was doing. Quickly, as if he was already on borrowed time, he pulled a piece of chalk from under his cloak and marched up the rotted steps of town hall. With several flashes of his horn and several flicks of his wrist he began building an arcane symbol on the door of the building. To the uneducated eye, it would have look like nothing more than random scribbles but to the unicorn, he was laying the foundation for one of the most powerful spell matrixes he'd ever crafted in his life. The spell would need power, far more than the average unicorn could physically handle. That's why he was here, the layline would do most of the work. All he needed was to give it a little push. It's magic would flow at his direction.
Once the drawing was done, he began to focus his magic on the power beneath the ground and began to draw on it. The power began to flow through him in drops at first and his senses expanded to the point that he no longer aware of his body at all. The cloaked unicorn felt the energy bleed through him more and more until a small creek grew into a sea of power. Like an ocean, the magic contained currents and eddies and, likewise caused his body to glow and pulse in time with it and it focused on one point at the tip of his horn.
Magic flowed around his awareness, allowing him glimpses of the truth of the life that sustained it. He knew the heartbeat of the soil like an earth pony, the joy of flight like a Pegasus, and his understanding of his own magic had grown tenfold. If anypony were to ask him at that moment what true harmony, what a hint of ascendance to alicornhood, felt like, his answer would have been 'Perfect.' In truth, he didn't want to let the power go. He wanted to become part of it or keep it with him at the very least but he knew that such power was not meant for him or any mortal being to hold. It would eat away at the fabric of his body if he tried to contain it. He knew this from harmony itself. He rather sacrifice himself to a goal that was attainable. Slowly and very carefully the unicorn began to focus the power into a cone that covered the spell matrix, all he had to do now was let it...
"DESIST AT ONCE!"
In the midst of this calm, clear ocean, there came a sudden storm of power almost equal to what was singing through his nerves. Firm but not violent. The unicorn touching true harmony spun around so fast that the sheer momentum behind the motion caused the spot wood where his hoof came down to collapse but that didn't matter.
What did was the many figures that now occupied the street before him. Most of them were soldiers, Royal Guards in fact, and he instantly knew their names. Harmony told him who they were. But again, that didn't matter because of the mares at the head of the lines of white and gold. He didn't need the names Harmony whispered to him. Six of the mares were national heroes. He had seen them in the paper multiple times.
Applejack.
Rarity Belle.
Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy.
Pinkie pie.
And the newest Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Speaking of Royalty...
"You will release the layline and surrender for your crimes!" Princess Celestia boomed, her eyes alight with the power of the sun and wings spread wide.
Princess Luna, horn glowing and sabre at her hip already drawn took a threating step forward. "This chase is at an end, Wax Seal."
The unicorn by the name of Wax Seal, knew he should have been afraid. His chances of getting away were nonexistent. He was facing down three alicorns, one of which was the leader of the Elements of Harmony, and an entire division of the best trained ponies on the planet.
He should have been afraid but he wasn't. Harmony sung through him. If it wasn't for that he wouldn't have had the nerve to turn around to his spell. He heard shouts behind him, felt a strong pulse of magic, and the spectrum of color that followed but he didn't care. He released his hold on the magic and funneled it into the matrix. The symbols glowed to his satisfaction before they dimmed and faded out of existence.
Even as he felt his limbs slowly solidify into stone, he smiled in satisfaction and four words left his mouth in a whisper, "All according to plan."
The sigil that Wax created set itself into the laylines, rushing through the very mana of Equestria from the lone town of Onyxstead to the Everfree forest. There the drawing did what it was meant to do, twisting the very laws of the world and reaching out into the void beyond.
It's purpose?
To bring something back with it.
~~~
Italy. Scenic Mountain Parking Lot. 8:45 pm.
The amount of sinking I felt my left foot do, strongly suggested that what I just stepped in wasn't mud. I look down and feel my stomach twist at the sight of horse droppings. "Shit."
"What is it?" I hear Eggsy's voice buzz through the ear piece in my glasses.
My kneejerk reaction is not to tell him but the words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. "I just stepped into a horse patty here in the goddamn parking lot."
Like I expected, his tone get very smug. "And this is news to me why?"
I flip a bird at the line of trees that I know Eggsy is positioned behind. "One, this would make it the second thing that my shoes would have the discomfort to meander into within the last five minutes." I hiss as I turn to the Bentley, unlocking the doors wit my keys. "Two, what the hell is horse shit doing in a summit parking lot in Italy?"
That's the million dollar question. I didn't even know that anyone could ride horses along this highway much less not clean up after them. Nasty. I open the door, scraping my oxfords off in the dirt before I get back into the car to change my shoes.
"Well maybe if you opened your eyes when you walk instead of squinting with that scowl of yours you might be able to see where what you’re about to step on." And here comes the smartass with the extra smug I was expecting. "Open your eyes, Lanval. There’s a whole world out there to see."
"Oh real funny, Gal." I fire back with a mock chuckle and sarcasm of my own. "I’m guffawing here. My sides are splitting like pistachio shells. The Queen herself has declared world peace in order to put all military and scientific research into figuring out just how your lanky ass can contain that amount of funny."
I pause for effect and undo the shoe strings. "Oh, will you look at that. Now she’s broken into giggling fits of hysteria with the rest of the world. Can you hear it? The world is collapsing in on itself from the gratuitous weight of your piss poor attempt at humor."
My ear piece buzzes as Eggsy chuckled. "Please spare me a talk about my sense of humor. The threads of reality would tear, the gods themselves flipping their shit if you ever cracked a real smile. They would break so hard and flip off the handle so dramatically the shock-wave would slingshot our planet into the nearest event horizon in a mutual cartwheel of disbelief. There would be no time for evacuation. The planet would collapse in on itself and crumble like a stale biscuits under a boot while the crumbs are sucked up in the black hole that is your ability to take a joke."
A pause.
"Congrats, Sarah. You just ended life as we know it."
Color me impressed. I thought it would have taken him at least another month to adapt to my brand of snark. Especially considering that I left him speechless multiple times, an act that Merlin thought impossible. I run a few responses through my head as I pull off my shoes and pull a clean pair on, setting the dirty ones in the backseat.
"Well, before that happens I would be more than happy to shove my shoes, nice as they are, down your throat. Gum. Pudding. Spit. Dirt. Cigarette ash. Oil. And shit. This sole is a miasma of flavor just waiting to be comfortably tucked in that huge orifice you call a mouth. Bon appetite, motherfucker."
Before Eggsy can respond, Merlin's voice cuts in and what he says breaks the easy feeling in the air.
Alright you two lovebirds. Cut the chatter. I’m detecting three vehicles nearing the summit. Lanval, are you in position?
I nod as I tighten the knot in my laces. "Ready and waiting."
Galahad?
"In position, looking down the scope."
Alright, I want total silence from here on out. Lanval, gather as much info as you can, during the exchange. Maybe this is the lead we need to find Valentine's source. Galahad, if you see anything suspicious I want you to put down covering fire for Lanval.
"Yes, si...Wait, something's wrong." The sound of Eggsy's sudden surprise is enough to make my heart go cold. I shove the key into the ignition, ready to move at a moments notice.
"What is it?" I ask.
The answer is not what I expected.
"You! You're fuckin' car is glowin' like tree!" I look out at the hood. Nothing.
"What? What are you talking about?"
He's right, get out of the car!
While Eggsy's warning had me confused, Merlin's confirmation of the luminescence of my vehicle now has my attention but before I can open the door suddenly, everything changed.
I don’t know how to describe it. I just know that one blink, I was looking out at the scenic view of an Italian highway parking lot in the evening, and the second blink had me in nothing.. The sudden change in my surroundings was followed by the most gut wrenching wave of nausea I have ever experienced in my life.
I probably would have vomited if not for what happened next. Something came through the car and...smacked into me. Hard. It was enough to snap my head back as if I had been punched yet it didn’t hurt. The only reason why it didn’t, I can guess, is because my body went completely numb upon impact. I never felt anything like it. Imagine running full sprint into a thin wall of clay but less...there, if that makes sense.
No, it probably doesn’t. It would be like trying to describe color to the blind or an itch to someone who can’t feel. It’s impossible to explain.
What I can explain is that I blacked out shortly after.
~~~
In Agent Lanval's place was a simple empty spot of asphalt. The Kingsman Agency with set up an investigation of the area that would yield no results. Footage and audio logs of the failed mission would be stored and review several times at a later date. As for Sarah 'E' Kirkland, she would be listed as missing in action over the course of the investigation before a death certificate was written in her name.
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Good premis but im wondering how far up sarah is (normal, above, elite,) and her rank if she has one
My favourite part of that movie?
The bumsex scene
#BESTMOVIE2015100/10
5740175 movie? If this a movie i wanna see it
Dear god u made a parody of this move I love you
As someone who would have sex with this movie if that were somehow possible, this is relevant to my interests. I shall be keeping an eye on this.
5747235 Parody? Maybe. But I have plans for this. Yes...Lots of plans....
5747255 You get a follow I like you mate!
5747250 Thank you. I shall do my best to keep your interest.
5747265 "Manners maketh' man... You know what that means?" Uses umbrella to pick up conveniently placed glass cup and fling it at some random thug. The guy gets knocked out and falls over cold
5747264 Thank You.
You're too kind.
5747282 Nah you deserve it!
5747216
Very good movie. Hopefully still playing in your area (wherever that may be)
The beginning of this is interesting so far, and I love Lanval's snarky attitude. She should get along well with the ponies, no question. Rather spoiler-ish at the end there, though. Guess we know she won't be going home.
5747374 daaaaaamn that looks amazing leave it to the british to make a cool movie
5747389
It really is a fantastic film. Colin Firth is absolutely fantastic and Sam Jackson plays well against type. Action is very well done, fights well staged though there is the use of a bit much CGI I think in some places. Excellent humour. Honestly worth paying for in theaters if still playing in your area.
5747374 True she won't be goin home. But I didn't say that there wasn't going to still be some...goings on between the human world and the pony world. Lanval's going to just be the only human addition that comes from Earth.
"If you save the world, we can do it in asshole?"
I was just thinking about doing something like this only the agent is rarity.