The landing
We woke up one day, about three and a half years since we had first taken off from Earth. We started our daily routine, just like every other morning. Off to breakfast, eating the same bread and cereal grown on board. Meat was hard to come by, so we had a genetically crafted substitute for dinner. Before our meal was over, we heard an announcement. A planet had been found, and we were to arrive within the week. Everyone cheered in relief, releasing tension from being on this ship for so long. Suddenly, a loud crash echoed through the cafeteria, and alarms started to go off. The ship started to shake. The crew of the ship attempted to keep everyone from panicking, but they were unsuccessful. I ran off with Daniel to find out what was going on.
“One of the engines had blown out, and we’re spiraling out of control!” we heard the captain call.
It was utter chaos in the engine room. Men and women ran about trying to organize repairs. Daniel followed some of the other engineers to find out what had gone wrong.
I finally left look for Stacy. I went to her room and found her roommate looking puzzled and frightened. She had no idea where Stacy was and, frankly, didn’t care, so I went to look for her in the main hull. I found about sixty people running in circles and screaming. At least I am calm and trying to figure out what is going on, I thought to myself. Thankfully, I didn’t see her among the useless crowd of rabbits.
I finally found her in the computer room. Concerned for my safety, she had been looking for me, too. I was glad that she cared so much about me, and the next thing I knew, I was hugging her tightly. We separated, and I could see she was blushing. She opened her mouth as if she was going to speak, but before she could get a word out, Kelly and Daniel came out of the engine room to tell everyone that they found out what was going on.
The alarms were off, and the ship was stabilized. Everything was quiet, but I noticed that the windows were now a different color. Instead of showing the dotted black image of space, there was blue atmosphere, and I could see a tree in the background. We were on some sort of ground.
Twilight woke up, finally understanding the dream. It was of something else! Some sort of creature she’s never seen before, but she felt like it exists. No, she knows it exists, and she feels like they’re closer than she would think.
Just then, Pinkie Pie broke down the door to her library, and startled Twilight. “It’s time for some INVESTIGATING!!!”
“Pinkie, I’m not ready yet. I just woke up. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“Okie dokie lokie! I’ll go and wake up Dashie, since I know she’ll still be asleep. See ya in a few minutes!”
“Okay,” Twilight responded as Pinkie bounded away from her library. As she got ready, she was still thinking about that strange creature. She decided to talk to Spike about her realization after her job was finished, so she left her library without disturbing her purple and green friend.
Everypony decided to meet up in front of Sugarcube corner, so they can go into the Everfree forest together. The mysterious object was calculated to land in an open field somewhere on the other side of the forest, and they didn’t have much time before it arrived, so they needed to hurry.
Going through the Everfree Forest proved to be a difficult journey. There were horrible creatures and scary plants that looked like they could eat an entire pony. The six ponies stuck together as they battled ferocious manticores, sea dragons, disgusting insects, and the most deadly of pony-eating plants. Eventually, the ponies made it through the heart of the beast known as the Everfree Forest.
They just barely made it in time. As they came out of the tree line, they saw a giant mass hurling straight in front of them. It crashed right into the field, as Princess Celestia’s secret service had predicted. Slowly, the six ponies walked up to the strange object, shaped into an object no pony could describe. It had wings, kind of like a bird, but it wasn’t made of the same material. It had wheels, but was far too large to be a chariot. It had parts shaped like cones and cylinders that not even Twilight could figure out what they were. Just then, Applejack spotted something moving. Underneath some of the rubble, there was shaking. Fluttershy thought it might’ve been an animal, so she tried to rush forward and save it, but Twilight Sparkle stopped her, explaining, “Fluttershy, we don’t know what could be in this thing. It might be dangerous. We should wait a while and see what it is first.”
“Oh all right, but we can’t wait long. It might be hurt,” was her response.
The shaking continued. Then, out of the rubble came out an appendage. It was oddly shaped, with five smaller appendages attached to it. Fluttershy pointed out that it looks similar to a monkey’s hands, but hairless. The hand pulls itself out, revealing more of the creature it belongs to. A head emerges, followed by a torso, an arm attached to another hand, and finally legs. As this creature started to brush itself off, Twilight widened her eyes; it wasn't the first time she'd seen it.
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cliffhangers much and it ended kinda weird with the "twilight had a realization" that doesn't seem like a really good ending to a chapter
46501
I wanted it to end with the reader realizing what was going on with Twilight and her dreams, since I was using foreshadowing to throw what was happening in your face. I couldn't think of a non cliche way of ending it though, like "And then it hit Twilight." What about "Sudden realization overcame Twilight as the figure became more visible."?
I love the cliffhangers.
I think instead of Twilight had a realization, you could end with "Her eyes widened in surprise at the creature who stood before her for a second time." Something along those lines would be good. Btw, I think I see a plot hole here. You mentioned that they were a week away from the nearest planet. when the engine went out, they traveled FASTER than before? or was it magic? and what about their immediate crash landing in the everfree where there was no other indication in the ship until after they had actually crashed? I mean the explosion rocking the ship made sense, but i saw no indication of the crash landing anywhere. I'm not trying to be mean but I'm just pointing out some of the missing elements here. Take it slow. You could easily branch this out into a 3 to 4k word chapter if you take your time in development of the scene mechanics story in general.
(God that sounded better in my head. I also like cliffhangers too.)
46555
Ok, that was what I was trying to say actually. That will go in shortly. And that's not a plothole. I'm actually GLAD you pointed that out because I wanted to explain it more. Well, I'll explain it in Chapter 5, but MissingPony gave me the idea, so go read some of his comments and maybe you can figure it out.
46562
Happy to help. If you need any kind of help with wording or where to go with the story, hit me up. I'm writing a story as well and its proving to be a doozy in terms of length. Need something to keep me out of my own rut, if you know what I'm saying.
46569
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I was actually in a rut writing this chapter, so I put it off for a few weeks. You might be able to tell from the distance in updates.
46562
Yay!
Also, it could be further than 3 light years WITHOUT speed of light. I heard that the closer object is to the speed of light, the slower time is from its perspective. And at speed of light, time stops. Faster-than-light... time goes backwards?
Perhaps that's time dilation.
Also, I found three ways for crossing distance in time shorter than it would take for light. They are more science fiction-like than real as of now, though.
1)Worm hole
2)Hyper drive
3)Tachyons[1]
[1]Hypothetical sub-atomic particles that are always faster-than-light.
PS.Did you read Rainbow Leap?
46771
Actually, no to all your questions. They aren't going backwards in time, none of those theories explain how it happened in MY story, and I've never heard of that fic.
47226
>never heard of that fic
img221.imageshack.us/img221/351/happytwia.jpg
Your argument is invalid.
(or perhaps you didn't look at the title?)
49217
Alright, you got me. I haven't read it yet and I didn't see the title either.
Ok. I've decided to write 8 chapters for this story, and make 2 sequels off of it. In total, that's 24 chapters.
Can anypony guess what the other 2 books are going to be about? 
I have read up to chapter 5 seems a bit rushed >.> I'm not the "writey" type of pony so I have nothing to suggest =/ I look forward to more though ^^
54985
About the same thing, but from other perspectives?
Note - Create something that has more than 3 dimensions, and it will create black hole, since at least OUR universe is 3-dimensional, and 4-dimensional being would be beyond time and space (or something), creating black hole. I'll guess that Equestria is also 3-dimensional.
46 seconds in video = beyond the impossible
Harro kfish XD, idk just clicked the link while editing, i think ill tone down my edits cuz >_> i was rewriting all the scentences and that would take more time then i have to edit, but yea i plan on spending my night editing instead of reading, u lucked out on the semianual, jackson doesnt mind writing scenario. I MUST GO, MY PLANET NEEDS ME. Oh btw we should meet irl for some of these things >.< XD tyler doesnt like that idea though :shrugs: lol idk why im posting this 2 u on fimfic