The Hatchling

by Dafaddah

Chapter 5: Pinkie Investigates

Pinkie stood in Fluttershy's cottage and wondered what she was missing, because of course she was missing something. Otherwise she would have seen something. And since she hadn’t seen something, then something was ipso fatso missing. Just like in the Sherclop Hooves books.

“Step one: ascertain that something is missing.” It was. “Check. Step two: interrogate the witnesses.”

She took out a huge magnifying glass and through it gazed onto a giant white creature with huge teeth.

Putting the glass away, she took out a pencil and notepad. “Where were you on the morning of the eggnapping?” she asked archly.

Angel Bunny just stared at her angrily and pointed at the kitchen. He hopped over and pointed to a small tripod. On it hung a small canvas showing an oil painting of a table on which lay a bowl of carrots, behind which was a window that looked out over a dark, stormcloud-filled sky raining lightning bolts down on an assortment of cute woodland creatures fleeing in terror.

Angel put on a small black beret and pantomimed dabbing paint on the canvas. He then put a paw to one ear and turned towards the living room, blinking both eyes three times in the space of a few seconds.

Pinkie scribbled in her notebook.

Putting down his imaginary brush and pallet, he burst into the living room with Pinkie close behind him and in three long bounds stood before a basket that held a loose blanket. There he drew an oval shape in the air over the basket with his forepaws, and shrugged with his paws spread wide before him.

“And the egg was gone, just like that?” asked Pinkie.

Angel crossed his forelegs and nodded emphatically.

“You didn’t see anypony?”

His ears flopped back and forth as he shook his tiny head.

“Wow!” Pinkie smiled happily. “I’m pretty good at this interrogation stuff, aren’t I?” She scribbled in her notebook some more.

Angel Bunny took off his beret, sighed and rolled his eyes. He then hopped to a place on the floor. And tapped his foot. He pointed at a deep gouge mark in the floorboards. Hopping in the direction of the front door, he pointed out second similar mark on the floor. He then hopped up onto the credenza next to the door, and pointed at its frame. It looked like a large blade had cut into the heavy wood.

“Sheesh,” exclaimed Pinkie, looking irate. “You’d think somepony would be more careful moving heavy objects around in Fluttershy’s house...”

Her eyes grew huge. “Say, you don’t think this might have been caused by the eggnappers, do you?”

Angel nodded slowly, eyes rolling and tiny rabbit mouth scowling even worse.

“That’s it!” cried Pinkie exultantly. “The game’s ahoof! And I’d better go report my brilliant deductions to the others!” She galloped out of the cottage at ludicrous speed, leaving the front door wide open.

Angel Bunny sighed. He pulled the door shut, and looked at the beret he still clutched in one paw. Setting it between his ears, he stomped back into the kitchen.

---

“And that’s when I figured it all out,” said Pinkie to the gathered Element Bearers. “Angel Bunny's art therapy is doing wonders for his anger management. He didn't try to bite me even once!” She glanced upwards and bit her lip. “Oh! And a giant kangaroo with a sword for a peg leg stole Discord’s egg!”

A quick look around the circle showed that her friends didn’t seem convinced.

“Uh, sugarcube,” said Applejack. “Don’tcha think somepony would have noticed a critter like that hoppin’ around?”

Pinkie scratched her mane. “Well duh! If he has a peg leg, then he’s probably a pirate kangaroo, and maybe in his travels he’s stolen a cloak of invisibility as well, and that’s why nopony’s seen him!”

Twilight intervened. “As likely as that possibility is Pinkie, we have to consider all the other possibilities as well. At what height was that mark in the door frame?”

Pinkie held a hoof just at about the level of her chin. “That’s how I deduced it was a kangaroo. It had to have jumped pretty high to slice the doorway with its sword leg.”

“Oh. Okay, then,” said Twilight. “How about you go looking for more clues while I report your findings back to Canterlot?”

Pinkie nodded her head. “Okie, dokie, lokie!” she said. She gave Twilight a tight hug. “That’s for believing me,” she added. She looked at Twilight askance. “You know, sometimes I think nopony takes me seriously around here. But Twilight, you always do. Thanks!”

“Sure thing, Pinkie.” Twilight watched her as she bounced her way out of the throne room. She looked at her pegasus guardponies at attention on each side of the door. They presented arms as she approached, pounding the butts of their heavy spears on the floor.

“Guardpony,” she addressed the one on the right, “If you had to carry a very heavy object while on duty, what would you do with your spear?”

“Your Majesty!” the guard replied nervously, “Er, I would place the object on my back and hold the spear tucked under a wing, Your Majesty, Ma’am!”

Twilight’s eyebrows rose as she considered his response.

“So the blade of the spear would be projecting forwards?” she asked.

The pegasus nodded.“Yes, Ma'am!”

Suddenly noticing that the young guardpony was sweating under such close attention, she smiled to reassure him. “Well then, keep up the good work, gentlecolts!”

She left the throne room deep in thought.

---

Pinkie Pie had a shift at Sugarcube Corner that afternoon, so she put away her detective gear and put on her pastry cooking apron and chef’s hat instead. It being Tuesday the store had only light business, so she had plenty of time to chat with the customers between batches of muffins and several orders for custom decorated birthday cakes.

The bell over the door rang and a unicorn she had never seen before entered and went straight up to the counter. He had a banana yellow coat, dark purple mane, wore a paisley vest with a striped tie, and sunglasses. The stallion looked at her from behind his shades. Or at least she thought he did.

“Pinkamena Pie, right?” He turned his head briefly back towards the shop’s door. While his head was turned she could see that his irises were ruby red. She also discretely put on her own set of Razorhoof wraparound UV-B-Gone sunglasses.

“What’s it to you, stranger?” she said.

The stallion turned his face back in her direction and did a double take.

“Unless you wanna buy a dozen muffins or are here to pick up a birthday cake, in which case my answer is yiperoo!”

“Er,” said the stallion, “I’m a secret agent of the crown, and we want to have all the details of your investigation.” A single dark eyebrow peeked above his shades. “All of them.” He took out a notepad.

Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs and saluted with military precision. “Sir! Yes, sir! Sir!” She then leaned on the counter.

“It all started when as a filly I read The hound of the Barrelvilles. It was..."

The stallion had raised a hoof.

“Yes, you in the paisley vest..." Pinkie pointed a hoof at him.

He looked around and sighed. “Um, we just need to know about your investigation of the missing hol... I mean egg... yeah, thats it, the egg.”

“Okie, dokie, lokie!” She took out her investigator’s notebook and began to read. The stallion’s horn glowed as he wrote in his.

Comments

[PresentPerfect]

ipso fatso

That's inspired. :D