Discord died saving Twilight Sparkle and in the process all of Equestria. Or that's what everypony thinks, until a strange egg is found at Sweet Apple Acres, and Princess Celestia says it's the egg of Discord reborn. As the Element Bearers prepare for his return, some ponies remember Discord's darker days. Forces long dormant awake, wishing the return of the rule of chaos, while others, equally old and secret, will stop at nothing to prevent Discord's rebirth! And then there's just one more thorny little question. Who in their right mind would want to adopt him anyway?
Edited by Sharp Logic
Chapters (9)
This is pretty good but I think this would help by having a few more details. For instance I noticed that you gave Big Mac a family and a wife and I think that would be an important discussion for more of the characters.
Most importantly in that vein is that I think this would give Pinkie more reason to want the baby. Right now I am wondering why the Discord baby? Why has she not tried to have a baby with a stallion for instance? Is she unable? Giving Pinkie a legitimate reason for not having a baby gives her motivation for wanting this baby even though Fluttershy wanted him first (by the way I am also surprised that the Fluttershy angle was not used more). I think that this would give the story more depth.
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Thanks for the feedback. I've lengthened Twilight and Applejack's conversation at the end of Chapter three, Fluttershy's comments in the throne room scene and Pinkie's during the chariot ride in chapter seven.
Of course, after the contest is over I'll consider doing more with this story.
You should have a sequel!
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I'm thinking about it! But I need to finish off my current running stories! I'll probably get to it in two or three months (I hope!)
Cheerilee are you kidding me
ugh and Sparity too
You're really trying to make me hate this story :(
That's inspired. :D
I kinda wish you hadn't gone with the "secret Discord cult" plot, because it's very Past Sins, but at least you faked us out by having two of them.
Hey, this wasn't too bad. :)
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Thanks for the comments and for the review! I intend to go in and do a cleanup as this was (perhaps too) hastily put together for the contest. If you have any other thoughts on what I could improve please let me know.
I see what you did there. ;)
Fluttershy giving up custody of Discord happened a little too quickly for my taste. That was resolved a little too easily. I would've liked for Fluttershy to verbally explain her change of heart, at the very least. Even just a simple "Looks like he's chosen you" might've suffised. Still wouldn't be satisfying, but an improvement.
And maybe I didn't like how Discord's parental guardian was decided so quickly in the first place, as well. It was obvious to me that Fluttershy was the worst choice second only to Twilight. Whenever Fluttershy would look at the child, she'd be comparing him to the dead Discord. Can you imagine that? Maybe she makes him some tea like she used to make for her tea parties with the old Discord, only the foal spits it out cuz it tastes like flavored water and tea is an acquired taste, but all Fluttershy does is try not cry as she whispers "Past you liked my tea. It would totally suck for the growing child. Perhaps the only worse thing would be if he was a ward of Celestia or the court, treated as a potential threat or possible political ally and whatnot.
Twilight is probably too much of a control freak for the spirit of chaos. Rarity wouldn't love him; she gets annoyed when her own sister messes up her things. Still, the traveling bit in "traveling fashionista" might appeal to him. Applejack would make an OK mom. Discord couldn't get away with shit by using puppy eyes on her. Then again, she is simple country folk. Also, she doesn't have any magic to help her deal with Discord's chaos magic. Pinkie though, she seems to have a bit of chaos magic herself. She probably is the best available guardian.
I'd be kind of interested in a sequel to see how Discord feels about his mom and his aunts.
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Thanks for the feedback! I've been considering both a cleanup and a sequel.
I would read a sequal cause it looks like those cults aren't done just yet
I like what I read so far.
...That was sad.
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Eeyup!
I hope she gets laid someday.
I have reviewed this piece as part of the Reviewer Cafe! I apologize for the long wait, but at long last, here it is.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/308771/reviews?page=6#comment/6188644
I sincerely hope that my review was helpful.
As always, thank you for the time and effort you put into this wonderful piece.