Everypony thinks Discord died in the war, and then a strange egg is found at Sweet Apple Acres. What if he's going to be reborn? Will he be welcomed back, or will ponies fear his return? And who in their right mind would want to adopt him anyway?
Discord died saving Twilight Sparkle and in the process all of Equestria. Or that's what everypony thinks, until a strange egg is found at Sweet Apple Acres, and Princess Celestia says it's the egg of Discord reborn. As the Element Bearers prepare for his return, some ponies remember Discord's darker days. Forces long dormant awake, wishing the return of the rule of chaos, while others, equally old and secret, will stop at nothing to prevent Discord's rebirth! And then there's just one more thorny little question. Who in their right mind would want to adopt him anyway?
In a blur of limbs Discord rolled to a stop, flat on his back. Through separate crenelations of the tower, an arm and a mismatched leg dangled high above the Everfree. Smoke rose from the parts of him not covered in scales. Sitting up, he began slapping the patches of his hide that were aflame. “Well, that might have been a tad bit less focused than I intended!” he remarked laconically.
A nearby movement drew his attention. Twilight sat in a heap a short distance away. She stumbled as she tried to rise onto all fours. Looking down, her eyes grew wide with shock as she saw the smoking stump where her left foreleg used to be. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air.
His usual sardonic grin died. My blast hit Twilight! he thought and groaned in disbelief. “But what about...” He jerked his gaze up to the sky.
No! It’s still there!
A black miasma swirled over the partially restored ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters, casting a sinister shadow over the Everfree Forest as far as the eye could see. It continued to pulse and shower sickly green lightning onto the land below it. It was as if his beam of pure chaos hadn’t even touched it! All around the castle, large swaths of the Everfree burned where the green bolts of energy had previously struck. Ashes rose from the holocaust, feeding the hungry dark cloud above, while lightning set still more of the forest aflame.
“It can’t be, Flutterbear!” he whispered. “I put everything I had in that blast. How could they just... shrug it off?”
A voice echoed from within the cloud. Three pairs of disembodied eyes focused their evil glare on him. “Hah, ha, ha, ha, hah!” chortled the Chorus of Lost Souls.
The voice of Tirek spoke. “You were a fool then, Discord, to seek satisfaction outside of yourself. And you are only more the fool now!”
The chorus laughed again, its three voices in dissonant union.
“I was a fool to have listened to you once before, Tirek!” shouted Discord as he painfully arose. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
He crossed his arms over his smoking chest and tried not to cough. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw that Twilight had sunk to her haunches shivering, her face pale and her mouth open in a silent scream.
Chrysalis’ voice spoke. “There is no point trying to distract us with your silly games, trickster. But we will enjoy tasting the sweetness of your despair, as you witness the final defeat of that miserable pony who has ruined so many of our plans.” A ball of green light appeared in the heart of the cloud and inflated rapidly in size.
Discord’s heart felt like a lead weight in his chest. He was going to fail her, and them. Again!
This time it was Sombra’s voice that called out. “Look up, Twilight Sparkle, and prepare to face the doom you wished on all three of us!”
It was as if hearing her name broke Twilight's paralysis. The mare shook her head and turned it towards the voice. Her eyes narrowed, and her face regained some of its color. She gritted her teeth. “You cannot thwart the power of Harmony for long,” she called out to the sky, her voice gaining in volume with every word. “In the end, you will fail!” she concluded with a snarl.
“Enough words!” the chorus shouted angrily. The ball of green energy suddenly compressed and surged towards the tower.
Discord had watched the exchange, too drained to so much as cast an illusion. His worst nightmare had returned, paralysing both magic and thought. So he didn’t think. He acted. He shot towards Twilight, and pushed her out of the way just as the enormous energy discharge struck where she had stood.
Fire enveloped him. His body arched and he howled as pain beyond any he had ever known coursed through every fiber of his being.
A tiny corner of his mind watched as the energy blast consumed his material body from the outside in. His agony grew until finally it burnt itself away, leaving impressions of yellow and pink, butterflies and bunnies, and familiar kindness more pure and true than anything else he had ever known, a kindness so great it could forgive even his own greatest sin and claim the heart of chaos. That didn't hurt as much as having betrayed you, he thought, satisfied that this time, he had remained true to her and her friends. I love you! The thought echoed brightly in the fading remains of his consciousness.
Granny Smith rocked herself on the porch in the agreeably pleasant company of her granddaughter's faithful old dog Winona.
“There ain't much left fer us to do these days, old girl,”she said gently. “With Apple Bloom off ta Canterlot fer college, and Big Mac's young'uns old enough to do chores, all I have left ta worry about is that stubborn granddaughter o' mine.”
She glanced down at the grizzled pooch. As usual, Winona was curled-up on the rug next to her rocking chair, snoring away. Granny cackled sweetly.
“Havin’ a nap, are ya, old girl? Well, y’all deserve it, waitin’ patiently all day on that filly to come home.” The dog slept on. “Never you mind me gabbin’ away, sugarcube,” said Granny. “Anyways, y’all are pert’ near deaf by now, and Ah cain't claim these ol' rags ta be any sharper!” Granny flicked her ears and cackled some more.
The breeze was pleasant today, putting her in a good mood. It made her feel like talking a spell, even if the only ears around were attached to a sleeping dog.
“Yup,” she continued, “Ever since the war that girl’s done spent most of her days at the castle, carryin'-on as Minister of Defense, whatever that is. I keep sassin’ her, tellin’ her that she’s let all that Element of Honesty hoo-haw plum take over her life. She ain’t done a lick of farm work in years. Why, she ain’t even had time to find herself a special somepony of her own! And that’s a crying shame, I tell ya!”
With these emphatic pronouncements, Winona raised her head and looked Granny in the eye, one ear high and the other low. The dog's expression set the old mare to chuckling.
“Heeee, hee, hee! I guess I haven’t been chasin’ every widower in town, neither, have I? But ya cain’t blame an old mare fer wantin’ better things fer her granddaughter, now, can ye?”
The dog barked once.
“So there! You was payin’ attention after all!” Granny smiled tenderly at the pooch. “Ya’ll are a good ol’ girl, ya'hear?”
Winona’s tail thumped the rug a few times, then she lay her greyed muzzle back onto crossed forepaws. With a sigh, she closed her eyes.
Granny sighed as well. She loved how the lazy heat of a late summer afternoon warmed her old bones. The heady scents of the Hyssop, Sage and Sweet Autumn Clematis lining the porch vied in turn for her attention as they danced in the breeze. Finally, the constant chorus of crickets and cicadas gently pushed all thoughts and concerns into the very back of her mind. Her eyes slowly closed of their own accord, the gentle rocking of the chair swayed to a stop, and the aged mare’s snores joined those of a faithful old dog’s.
Applejack crept quietly up to the front porch, the setting sun sketching longs shadows behind her. She smiled at the sight of her grandmother and Winona resting peacefully together. Granny had been old ever since she could remember, but only this summer had it become possible for her to even attempt sneaking up on her aging pet.
Well looky here! she thought affectionately. Two grand old ladies catching Z’s in the summer heat!
While Applejack stood there lost in thought, Granny Smith’s eyes cracked opened.
“Why, hello there, sugarcube!” drawled the old pony. “Is it supperti...” Granny’s eyes shot wide open and her ears rose to attention as the sound of her voice trailed off.
“Granny?" said Applejack, concerned. "What is it?”
The old mare stood up creakily from her rocking chair. Her eyes narrowed as she looked out across the farm. “Somethin’ ain't right!”
Applejack turned around, nervously glancing from farmhouse to barn to barnyard looking for anything amiss. Everything seemed in place.
“What’s not right?” she asked.
Her grandmother shivered and pulled her shawl tight. “Somethin’s powerful wrong –” she raised a foreleg and pointed towards the Zap Apple orchard “– and it’s in there.”
Applejack looked in the direction her grandmother indicated as a sour feeling grew in her belly. She wasn't sure whether that was her reaction to Granny being upset, or if her earth pony senses were catching up to the old farm-mare's more experienced ones.
“Hey Mac!” she shouted. As expected, her brother was in the barn washing up from the day’s labours. His huge red head stuck out the barn door.
“Ayuup?” he replied as usual.
“Granny Smith says there’s somethin’ strange up in the Zap orchard. Let’s go check it out.”
“Ayuup!” He grabbed a freshly cleaned and oiled yoke from a peg on the barn wall, and thus equipped plodded up to the house.
Applejack herself often wore a ceremonial sword as Minister of Defense, but she was glad she wasn’t in uniform today. She did her best fighting with hoof and tooth and unencumbered by armor, something she had discovered during the war.
Together they trotted warily in the direction of the orchard.
The first thing they noticed was the smell. There was a hint of ozone to it, as well as sulfur, tar and, surprisingly, chocolate milk. She and Mac looked at each other and shrugged. They entered the orchard side by side, two pony lengths apart. It put them sufficiently distant from each other to present separate targets, yet close enough to easily fall into a back-to-back defensive stance if needed. My brother, the gentlecolt farmer/warrior, she thought with a glance at Mac. The war may be over, but it’s still with us.
She and Mac moved slowly through the orchard. They had almost reached the center of the stand when Applejack noticed a metallic glint reflecting the setting sun.
“Hey Mac! Do ya see what I see?” she whispered.
“Ayuup,” replied her brother. “Looks like an egg.”
“Sure does, don’t it.” The siblings approached it carefully.
It was indeed an egg. About the size of a hoofball, and pure gold in colour. It nestled between the gnarled roots of the oldest Zap Apple tree in the orchard, as if it had always belonged there. Applejack looked around. The tree seemed hardly worse for the wear, although that wasn’t saying much as Zap Apple trees spent much of the year looking somewhat dead.
Big Macintosh stepped forward to take a closer look but Applejack rushed forward to bar his way.
“Y’all have foals ta raise, Mac, Ah don’t,” she said, looking him in the eye. The pain was still there with the green, even after all these years. The stallion nodded and stepped back.
“Y’all be careful, AJ,” he admonished her. A tight grin split his muzzle. “And as I recall, you have a niece and a nephew to spoil, kiddo.”
She grinned at her brother. He don't say much, but when he flaps his jaw what comes out is what needs sayin'!
She inched up close to the golden object. Her neck swayed back and forth as she carefully eyeballed it from all angles.
“It’s egg-shaped all right. And it don’t seem to be connected to the tree or the ground unner it,” she informed her brother.
Applejack brought her muzzle in close and took a sniff. “And this is definitely where that smell is comin’ from.”
She caught Big Mac’s gaze. “Stand back a bit. Ah’m gonna try to pick it up.”
Big Mac didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded and complied. She turned back to the egg and placed a hoof to either side of it. She felt its texture with the frog of her right forehoof.
“It feels just like an egg, Mac. An' it’s right warm to the touch, like a fresh one just laid.”
Applejack gathered her courage. “Here goes…” She squinted her eyes and pulled up. The object rose smoothly and she cradled it in her forelegs. She felt a slight movement from inside the object and stared down at it, eyes wide.
Big Macintosh noticed her change of expression. “What is it, sis?”
“Ah think it’s fer sure an egg, and Mackie –” a strange smirk appeared on her face “– whatever’s in it, it’s alive.”
Big Mac and Applejack approached the farmhouse. They progressed slowly as the mare was forced to walk upright while holding onto the egg with both forelimbs. She was regretting that decision: it was heavy, and she was sweating profusely from all the heat the object produced.
As they approached they noticed a commotion on the front porch. Granny seemed upset at something or somepony. There was a clang of metal, and they saw the old mare swatting her cane against a huge stallion in full armour. Applejack was about to rush-in and rescue the poor idiot, when a white head and horn appeared above those of the ponies in front of her house. She stopped in her tracks.
“Yer Majesty!” she said, and sketched the best bow she could manage under the circumstances.
Princess Celestia of Equestria nodded back to her.
“Minister Applejack, Big Macintosh.” Her gaze focused on the golden egg. “It would appear you’ve found the object of our visit.”
Another unicorn head appeared next to Princess Celestia’s, this one just a tad lower.
“Hello Applejack,” said Princess Twilight Sparkle. She stepped forward. Her regalia only partly blocked the scar that mottled her coat from her throat down to the metallic cuff of her prosthetic left foreleg. “We need to talk.”
The princesses, Applejack, and a somewhat nervous Big Mac all sat around the imposing wooden trestle table in the Apple farmhouse kitchen. The huge room had more than enough space for both Celestia and Twilight’s Royal Pegasus Guards, Mac’s wife Cheerilee, who stood near the stove as she had started cooking dinner while her husband washed up, and their foals Lil’ Mac and Blossom, both sitting on their mother’s back. The colt had a dark brown mane and an orange coat while his sister’s was pale blue, her blond tresses done up in complex braids. The scents of supper cooking on the stove filled the kitchen, setting more than one stomach to growling audibly.
The guards had also brought Granny’s rocking chair inside and set it in its customary place next to the huge iron wood stove. The old mare kept glaring suspiciously at the guard-ponies, who having already tasted a few whacks from her cane were keeping their distance.
Applejack put down her cup of the Special Reserve Apple Acres Cider that Cherrilee had served everypony as they sat down. The egg sat in the middle of the table, in a wooden box lined with a blanket. She pointed to the object. “So, Yer Majesties, do ya’ll have any idea who’s egg is this, and what it’s doin’ in our zap-Apple Orchard?”
The princesses glanced at each other.
“We have a pretty good guess.” Twilight waved the hoof of her metal forelimb and smiled. “I’m sure you remember how I got this.”
Applejack nodded. “Sure enough. The three Lost Souls fought y’all and almost done killed ya. If it weren’t for Discord, they would have.” Applejack wasn’t proud of the occasion. The villains had managed to neutralize the power of the Elements of Harmony, lock the other princesses out of the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom, and resist the combined power of the Flight of Flames. Only Discord’s last minute sacrifice had saved Twilight’s life. Fluttershy still wept when anypony slipped-up and mentioned the event.
“So what does this egg have to do with the war?”
Celestia put her own cup down. “I’ve seen this egg before,” said the elder Princess. “Several millennia ago, in fact. You see, I’m almost sure this is Discord’s egg.”
Applejack’s ears drooped low. “His egg? But he’s been dead for years. And, er, –" she blushed under her stetson, "– to my recollection, wasn’t he like, uh, a stallion... and such?”
Twilight laughed. “Oh, I understand your confusion. She didn’t mean to imply that he lay the egg!” Her grin faltered and she looked askance at Princess Celestia. “Did you?”
The elder princess chuckled gently. “No, my little ponies. What I meant is that he is the egg.”
Applejack stared at the golden orb on on the table. “So y’all are sayin’ that thar egg is Discord hisself?”
“Ayuup!” drawled Princess Celestia with a glance at Big Mac, who somehow managed to look even redder than usual. “I estimate that in three weeks or so, baby Discord is going to hatch from this egg.”
“How is that even possible?” asked Applejack. The words were barely out of her mouth when she realized what she had said and blushed again furiously. “I mean...”
“I believe you deserve an explanation.” Celestia winked at Cheerilee. “And don’t worry, you won’t have to take the foals for a walk while I provide it.”
She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “You see, Discord is not a normal being. In a sense, he is a reflection of the fabric of the universe in that he personifies one of its fundamental forces: entropy. Most ponies think of it as randomness or chance, or in its more troublesome aspect, chaos. Because of this, Discord can’t actually die or be destroyed, but his essence can be dispersed for a while. And if that happens then some time later, months or years even, his essence will regroup and reconstitute itself into an egg from which a baby Discord will hatch. There are no adult draconequii involved in the process.”
“That’s so sad!” said a filly’s voice.
All the adult heads turned to look at Blossom on her mother’s back. The pale blue filly wilted under the sudden adult attention.
“Why do you think so, my little pony?” asked Celestia in a sweet voice.
“Well”, said the filly shyly, “because he doesn’t get to have a momma or a poppa. When his egg hatches he's gonna be all alone, that’s why!” Her orange coated brother nudged her. “Your Majesties!” she added with a dip of her blond mane.
Twilight and Celestia both stared at the filly, jaws open.
The two princesses again exchanged long glances. “From the mouths of babes...” whispered Celestia.
It was decided to hold a full gathering of the Element Bearers and Spike. Messengers were dispatched to call them out to Sweet Apple Acres Farm as quickly as possible. In the meantime, the royal party was of course invited to supper.
Having Princess Celestia dining at Apple Acres meant getting out the good china and silverware. Twilight grinned as she carefully floated the prized dishes onto the table. It had become her tradition to set the Apple’s table whenever she dined with the family. As the youngest foal of her own family, it had been her job when she was a filly. Here and now, Lil’ Mac and Blossom helped, respectively placing napkins and glasses on the table.
Throughout the hustle and fuss, Princess Celestia sat serenely, a bastion of calm in the eye of the storm. Cheerilee had been watching over the simmering pots when she noticed her amusement.
“I’ve tried telling Twilight to sit and be served like proper royalty,” remarked the school teacher with an nervous smirk. “But she can be very obstinate at times.”
Big Mac flapped an ear while pulling biscuits out of the oven. “Twilight’s been comin’ over for supper for so many years she’s just like family,” he stated gravely.
“An' family members get chores!” added Granny from her place next to the stove.
Princess Celestia's laughter was like bells chiming. “It greatly warms my heart to see the place Twilight has in this family. Such homely pleasures are exceedingly rare for royalty. I must admit being quite envious!”
The aged mare cackled. “Well then, we could always let y'all help with the dishes.”
“Granny!” blurted Cheerilee.
Just then Twilight re-entered the kitchen with Blossom and Lil' Mac in tow, each one carrying a brass candlestick. She froze as she suddenly noticed that she was the center of attention.
“What?” she asked, blushing. This only set all the other adults to laughing, including Princess Celestia.
Twilight shook her head, and then helped the foals place the candlesticks on the table and light them. Big Mac and Cheerilee began loading the table with all sorts of enticing farm fare. Soon enough, everypony was seated and enjoying dinner.
Almost an hour later, Princess Celestia pushed her plate back and dabbed her lips with a glowing napkin.
“Y’all sure ya don’t want another piece of Apple cobbler, Yer Majesty?” asked Applejack.
“No, thank you, Lady Apple,” she replied. “If my sister finds out I already had two desserts I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Can I have another?” asked Blossom. She had spent the entire dinner seated next to the alabaster princess, imitating everything Celestia did as far as an earth pony could. The princess had caught-on quite early, and thereafter had used only hoof and mouth to eat just as an earth pony would.
“One piece is enough, even for a growing filly,” said Cheerilee.
The filly in question sighed in disappointment. “I guess so.” Her face brightened up. “Mom! Can I show Princess Celestia Miss Smarty Pants?”
“Certainly, sweetheart,” said Cheerilee, “but go wash your hooves first.”
“Yes, ma'am!” The filly slipped off of her bench and bounded out of the kitchen.
Celestia turned to Twilight, who had spent much of the dinner with three year old Lil’ Mac in her lap. She winked at the shy colt. “You did a good job feeding your aunt Twilight, young stallion!”
He beamed back up at her. “Yeah. Auntie Twi’ likes carrots!” he stated emphatically.
“He’s usually pretty quiet, that one!” said Big Mac.
"That’s because still waters run deep!" cooed Twilight.
A young male voice called out from the hallway. “And with both Cheerilee and Twilight on his case, that lil’ dude is on a one way trip to eggheadsville!”
“Unca Spike!” Lil’ Mac hopped off Twilight’s lap, galloped to the entrance and jumped into the dragon’s open arms.
“There’s another princess like Auntie Twi’ here,” began the colt breathlessly, “‘cept she’s white ‘stead of purple, an’ she had dinner with us, an’ Blossom’s gonna show her Miss Smarty Pants, an’ Auntie Jackie and Pop found a gold egg in tha orchard thiiiiis big!” His eyes were wide and he held both forehooves up as far apart as his little limbs could manage.
“That big, eh?” replied Spike with raised brows. The colt nodded emphatically. With Lil’ Mac still in his arms, Spike approached the table and bowed to the princesses. “Your Majesties!”
Twilight rose from her seat and rushed to hug her former assistant. Despite Twilight having become almost as tall as Celestia, Spike now towered several inches taller. “I’m so glad you could make it!” she said and stepped back.
Celestia stepped forward and also hugged the dragon warmly. “Ambassador Spike,” she said, “as you have already been expertly briefed by Princess Twilight’s able and most dashing assistant, perhaps you could take a seat and grant us your counsel.”
Spike nodded and sat down next to Big Mac, setting Lil’ Mac between himself and Twilight. He poked the foal in the ribs with a claw. “Hey, squirt! Looks like you’re gunning for my old job!”
Lil’ Mac blushed and buried his face in Twilight’s side. The adults were still laughing when the sound of tiny hooves cantered in and a tattered rag doll appeared on the table. A moment later Blossom hopped back up into place next to Princess Celestia.
“Smarty Pants, this is Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria,” said the filly gravely.
The doll’s right foreleg glowed and rose to touch Princess Celestia’s. “It’s so nice to see you again, Miss Smarty Pants!” said the princess.
Blossom looked up in confusion. Celestia cupped a hoof to her mouth and bent down to touch the filly’s ear. “You can ask your Aunt Twilight later how I met Miss Smarty Pants,” she whispered, sotto voce. “And be sure to ask her to tell you all about our adventures together!”
There was no mistaking the sudden gleam of joy in the filly’s eyes.
“But, now, it’s time for good foals to go to bed,” said Big Mac. “Y’all kiss Granny and yer aunties g’night, now!”
The foals of course gave half-hearted objections, but after nuzzling each of the guests, including Princess Celestia to her obvious delight, they trooped off to bed followed by their dad.
Granny Smith rose shakily to her legs. “An’ it’s time I got mah beauty rest! Good night, y’all!” Before she left she turned and glared at the guardponies. “And keep an eye on those tin-plated galoots! I don’t like the look in their eyes, I tell ‘ya!” She harrumphed, and left the kitchen.
“Goodnight, Granny Smith!” chorused Twilight, Cheerilee and Applejack.
Big Mac had just returned from tucking the foals in when there was the sound of a hoof knocking at the front door.
Cheerilee rose and returned a moment later in the company of the remaining Element Bearers. They bowed briefly to the princesses and then the kitchen erupted into a friendly scrum of happy greetings, hugs and nuzzlings. As usual, Rainbow Dash sat next to Applejack, and Pinkie Pie next to her. Rarity took the place on the other side of Spike from Twilight and offered one forehoof to Spike, which he clasped in a muscular claw. She draped another limb around Fluttershy's foreleg, who seemed even more quiet than usual. Big Mac And Cheerilee served coffee and tea to the new arrivals, and placed a huge plate of pastries conspicuously close to Pinkie Pie, who immediately set to munching happily.
When everypony was seated, Twilight placed both forehooves on the table and leaned forward. “Thanks everypony for coming here, and to the Apples for their hospitality and letting us use their home in this urgent situation.”
Twilight related the find in the Zap Apple orchard, and its implications. Everypony seemed to take the news in stride, except for Rarity who cast a concerned glance at Fluttershy.
“Since we’re all here now,” concluded Twilight, “we can discuss the matter at hoof: who should we ask to raise Discord?”
There was silence around the table.
“Well,” began Spike with a nod to Princess Celestia. “Having him be a ward of one of the ruling princesses might be safest, but it could also be seen as putting Discord in line for succession to the throne, and given his reputation in prior incarnations, that might cause... issues with the populace.”
He looked back at the egg. “No, it seems to me that the most obvious,and safest course of action, is to ask one of the Element Bearers to take up the job.”
The mares in question exchanged uneasy glances.
“Therein lies the problem, Spike,” said Celestia. “Raising another being isn’t just a job, it’s a lifelong commitment.” She smiled knowingly at him. “Tell me Spike, do you think Twilight raising you was just a job?”
He blushed. “No, of course not!” he replied. “She’s the best mom a dragon’s ever had, even if we don’t play it publicly that way.” He gave Twilight a quick peck on the cheek which was followed by d’awes and chuckles around the table. Twilight hooked a foreleg into Spike’s.
“Still, I think Spike makes a valid point in suggesting it be one of the Element Bearers,” she said. “I got a lot of help raising Spike from all of you, and I don’t think bringing up Discord is going to be even as simple as raising a fire-breathing dragon. It will be good for the pony who does so to have friends who can help, and who knew Discord before he was... er, dispersed. Other ponies might just be too frightened of him to raise him in a proper fashion.”
“Princess Celestia, might I ask a question?” said Cheerilee.
“Certainly!” said the princess.
“When Discord hatches from this egg, will he remember his previous life, or will he be reborn in mind as well as in body?”
Celestia's gaze turned inwards for a moment. “I was a filly myself when last this occurred. It was several thousands of years past. As with many things that happened so long ago, I cannot recall it with one hundred percent certainty, but I seem to remember my elders saying that he would be ‘different this time’. This would indicate that his memories did not carry over from one incarnation to the next.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Does that mean... he won’t know... us?” Besides her, Rarity’s expression grew troubled.
Celestia’s own eyes widened. “Discord never spoke to me or my sister of his previous lives, not even after his reform.”
“He wouldn’t talk to me about his childhood either,” said Fluttershy. “Whenever I brought it up he just made a joke about some things being best forgotten.” Her head dropped, hiding her face in her mane. “I didn’t really understand, not until now.” Her withers shook with a sob as she rose from the table and rushed from the room.
Rarity muttered an apology, sketched a bow, and hurried out after her.
“Oh, my!” Celestia seemed distressed. “I... didn’t know they had grown so close.”
Twilight looked on the verge of tears herself. “I should have told you more about those days before he died.”
She sighed.
“After Tirek, Discord felt really bad about what he had done to us all. But with Fluttershy it was... worse. She had been hurt very deeply, and he knew it. He just couldn’t do enough to try to make it up to her. It took him years, but he finally made it back into her heart. To this day, I think he truly did love her.
“And then the war happened, and he fought like he hadn’t the first time Tirek freed himself. Maybe he felt he had something to prove to us. Or maybe he was just trying to protect Fluttershy." She glanced towards the parlor from which gentle sobbing could be heard.
“And then... I was fighting a losing battle, –” she lifted her prosthetic foreleg, “– when he intervened and took the spell that was supposed to end my life. His was extinguished instead.”
She then turned her gaze to the golden egg.
“In three weeks, ready or not, we have a baby draconequus on our hooves.”
Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves together. “Goodie! We'll have a new foal in the family I can foalsit!”
“The Cake twins aren't enough of a hoofful, Pinkie?” said Cheerilee with a smile.
“Nuh-uh. And they spend most of their time at school, or with their little friends. I hardly see them anymore.” Pinkie pulled another pastry from the plate and focused all of her attention on it as she took a huge bite.
“Yer Majesty,” said Applejack. “When y’all faced this situation before, didn’t anypony think of some other way to handle it?”
The princess’s ears lowered. “Yes, Applejack, somepony did, though it gives me no pride. At that time it was proposed that we avoid any risk at all by turning the egg to stone,” said Celestia. “A small number of reasonably powerful unicorns could have managed the spell as long as Discord was still in his egg.”
There was the sudden sound of hooves on the wooden floor. “No!” shouted Fluttershy as loud as she could manage. She and Rarity stood in the doorway, the yellow mare trembling in anger. “You will not steal his future! He saved us all, and he deserves better than that!”
“But, Fluttershy –” began Applejack.
“– Applejack, please!” interrupted Twilight. She looked her friends in the eye each in turn.
“Yes, Discord does deserve better than that.” She exchanged glances with Princess Celestia. “And even if he didn’t, a certain princess taught me that all living beings deserve a chance to love and be loved. Even the avatar of Chaos.”
She faced Fluttershy. “Don’t worry, we’ll find somepony who will raise him well.”
A soft smile appeared on her tear-streaked face. “You won’t have to,” she said.
Twilight’s brow furrowed. “And why not?”
“Because I’m going to raise him!” said Fluttershy.
The ponies around the table exchanged gazes.
Rarity and Applejack looked concerned.
Spike and Princess Celestia were smiling.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “As if that’s a surprise to anypony.”
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to speak, but then turned suddenly to look at Fluttershy. Her ears drooped, and her mouth closed without the mare saying anything.
“Are you sure about this, Fluttershy?” asked Twilight. “You’re... still in mourning for, er... the previous Discord, and a big decision like this should be made carefully and rationally.”
“Should it?” asked Fluttershy angrily. “Raising a thinking being as potentially dangerous as Discord will require somepony willing to devote herself heart and soul. Rationality falls far short of that type of commitment!” She tilted her head and her expression softened. “I’ve raised all sorts of beings, and I’ve loved them all. The one thing you and everypony here can be sure of is that I’ll love this child, heart and soul.”
There was silence in the Apple’s kitchen.
“Nopony doubts that, or you, darling,” said Rarity. “We simply don’t want see you hurt any further."
Fluttershy sighed and raised her head. There was a very determined look on her face. “Well, maybe it’s about time I stopped moping over losing him and starting living in the present.”
Twilight smiled warmly. “I think that’s very good advice for all of us!” Heads nodded and faces grinned around the table, including that of Princess Celestia. “It looks like you managed to convince us, Fluttershy. And make no mistake, we’re all behind you one hundred percent in this.”
Ponies and dragon alike, left their seats and in ones and twos went to the yellow mare to express their congratulations.
The rest of the evening went by quickly. Rarity and Pinkie walked back to Ponyville together. Dash hurried off to manage a midnight rainstorm. Princess Celestia volunteered to convey Fluttershy and the egg back to her cottage in the Royal Chariot, then together they flew off into the night.
Twilight watched them go at Applejack’s side. She held the sheaf of drawings Lil’ Mac had given his Auntie Twi. They would be added to the ones already plastering several rooms of her apartments in the castle.
“Will she really be okay for this?” asked the orange mare.
Twilight couldn’t keep the doubt from her face. She smiled apologetically.
“Rationally speaking, who else amongst us is better suited? I’ve got a kingdom to run. You’ve been doing the work of three ponies since the war, ditto for Dash. Rarity spends a third of her time on the road at fashion events and running her store chain, and Pinkie is, well, busy being Pinkie. No, we’d better hope Fluttershy is the one.”
She looked at the crayon drawings in her hoof.
“You know, these days I always wonder. Was the reason Celestia had me hatch Spike’s egg because she had some idea about what my life would be like, and she wanted me to have a chance at motherhood before it was too late?” She placed a hoof on Applejack’s withers. “Tell me, am I preventing all of you from being able to live your own lives, from having families?”
Applejack laughed. “Sugarcube, I done figured out long ago Ah wasn’t the type of mare to jus’ settle down. None of us are, if'an' ya’ll wanna be fully rational ‘bout it. Dash has more coltfriends than she can count, an' she likes it that way. Rarity and Spike are happy even if their jobs often keep them apart. Young'uns are a complication neither one of 'em seems to want. Fluttershy's too bashful to bag a special somepony of 'er own, and Pinkie don't sit still long enough fer anypony to bag her!” She laughed again. “We’all are busy livin’ our lives, Twilight, and we wouldn’t have it any other way! Now don’t you ever doubt that!”
Her friend’s smile was infectious. “You’re a good friend, Applejack! You all are.”
“Yer darn tootin’! Now getcher’self off ta bed.”
“Yes, Minister Applejack!” Twilight curtsied, and disappeared in a flash.
Applejack looked towards Ponyville, and chuckled softly as she trotted back to the farmhouse and all the things that meant home.
Stormblast was still saluting as Princess Celestia left the courtyard of Canterlot Castle, no doubt bound for her apartments. He and the other guard, a young kid with the ridiculous name of Eagle Badge, saluted Captain Sentry, and then set to stowing the chariot away for the next time her majesty needed it. They were experienced working as a team so the whole process hardly took more than a few minutes, and then they were officially off-duty.
They helped each-other remove and stow their armour, reverting to their normal colors when they removed the guard plastron with its uniform enchantment. It was funny how the captain was the only pony known to be immune to the plastron’s magical effect. Apparently it had been the source of much ribbing before the Captain moved up to his current rank. Of course nopony now dared to mention it.
Stormblast was a cloudy grey of coat, with a darker grey mane and tale. He was rather nondescript, as far as ponies went, which suited him just fine normally, and even better on nights like tonight. He begged-off going to the tavern with Badger, claiming to be feeling his age. The stallion laughed and waved as he trotted off.
No, he had other business tonight. Far more important than going drinking with some kid. Tonight he had something to report for the first time since the death of the foe.
He got there via a circuitous route, making sure that he hadn’t been followed. Finally he saw his destination, a rather non-descript door in an older, slightly shabby part of town. He gave the secret knock: one, three, one, and waited. The door cracked open, and he entered.
An old unicorn mare that looked to be as far ahead of him in years as he was ahead of the kid, levitated a candle aloft and led him inside, walking with a cane. They went up a narrow stairway, and on the second landing passed through a heavy oak door into a large room that held several dozen ponies. He was surprised at what he saw in the light of the huge chandelier that hung from the high ceiling. Almost everypony was here!
The mare extinguished her candle and led him to the center of the room. She tapped her cane on the floor.
“Brothers and sisters,” she called out in a strong voice, “our patient vigil is coming to an end. Our brother in the castle has seen the chaos orb with his own eyes.” She gestured for him to give his report.
“It’s true!” he said, causing several ponies to gasp. “The orb was found in a farmer’s fields near Ponyville, where Chaos last resided. Princess Celestia became aware of it and we conveyed her to the site.”
“So then surely it was taken into custody!” said a stallion’s voice.
Stormblast shook his head. “I’m afraid it was not,” he said. The room became very quiet.
“So what did the princess do with it?” asked the old mare. “Did she destroy it?”
Again, he shook his head. “No,” he said. “She gave it into the care of one of the Element Bearers, Kindness, if I recall.”
“You say she gave it into the care of the Element Bearer. For what purpose?”
He swallowed, having a hard time to believe what he had himself witnessed. “She intends to let the egg hatch, and to raise Chaos as she would a foal.”
A cacophony of voices broke out, with several questions being shouted at the same time. Stormblast couldn’t make neither heads nor tails of the confusion until the old mare again tapped her cane and shouted loudly, amplifying her voice. “Quiet!” she called. “This is supposed to be the Order of Harmony!”
Under her baleful glare the hubbub died. She turned her gaze to Stormblast.
“Do you know where where they took the orb?”
“Yes,” he said, and swallowed. What he was about to do was edging awful close to treason. But then he steeled himself. To do otherwise was to betray Harmony itself. “The egg sits unguarded in the cottage of Lady Fluttershy, and could very easily be taken from her.”
A murmur spread through the room. The old mare tapped her cane a single time and the noise faded.
“Then we know what we must do,” she said. “The orb must be brought into our custody, and permanently sealed. The Lord of Chaos shall not be born again!”
The room shook as every pony in the room began repeating the call of the order while rhythmically stomping their hoofs on the floor. “The Lord of Chaos shall not be born again! The Lord of Chaos shall not be born again! The Lord of Chaos shall not be born again!...”
Stormblast stood tall as he too kept chanting the words, reassured of the rightness of their cause. His expression was grim, for he harboured no doubts that he would be the one honored to lead the order in action.
It was barely a week after the egg had been discovered that it happened. The first one to notice something was amiss was Angel Bunny.
Fluttershy had been outside cleaning the chicken coop when the distraught rabbit entered it and demanded her attention by drumming a hind foot loudly on the floor. The moment she looked at him he burst from the coop and hopped back to the cottage at full speed.
Fluttershy arrived a moment later, and screamed in horror when she saw the empty blanket in the box that had formerly contained Discord’s egg.
The Friendship Rainbow Castle’s throne room was mostly used for ceremonial purposes. The girls and Spike generally preferred to meet in more relaxed environments. Today though it was a scene of tears and multiple ponies coming and going as dispatches were exchanged with Canterlot, and everypony took turns trying to reassure a despondent Fluttershy as she alternately wept and retreated into a shell of silence.
There was a loud burping noise accompanied by a flash of light.
Twilight called her friends to attention. “Everypony! Pipe down! We’ve just got a dispatch from Princesses Celestia and Luna.”
Spike wiped his mouth and handed Twilight the scroll that had materialized from his fiery expectoration. It unfurled as it levitated in her magical field. She read it aloud.
Dear Twilight and friends,
We are very saddened to hear of the news of the disappearance of Discord’s egg. We are at presently mobilizing the resources at our disposal to as quickly as possible determine its whereabouts and return it safely into the custody of the Bearer of the Element of Kindness. Until then, please expect a dispatch every few hours with our progress. Please also keep us in the loop of any developments from Ponyville.
As a first contribution to this collaborative effort, please be advised that our Royal Intelligence Service is aware of and tracking the activities of groups that have in the past expressed extreme views in regards to the activities of Discord, including after his reform. We recommend you keep a wary lookout for any sign of their presence in Ponyville, and ask that you report to us any unusual ponies or unexplained activities in your domain.
Also, please convey our sincere feelings to Fluttershy, as well as our confidence that Discord’s egg will soon be back in her care.
Sincerely,
Princesses Celestia and Luna
Twilight looked towards her weeping friend. “Don’t worry, Fluttershy. No expense is being spared to find Discord’s egg. And with all of us working together, it should be sooner rather than later. Right girls?”
The Element Bearers all echoed their reassurances each in her own way, except for one mare, who held back and got a certain squinty yet determined look in her blue eyes. Suddenly, she was coiffed in a Deerstalker hat and clenched a Meershaum pipe between her teeth. A large pink soap bubble emerged from the bowl of the pipe and rose at a stately pace towards the ceiling. With a toss of a foreleg, the mare wrapped herself in a travelling cloak, and sank into the shadows.
Spike raised a claw to shade his eyes. The massive chandelier above them had suddenly caught several rose coloured bubbles in its branches. He scanned the throne room. “Hey,” he called out. “Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie stood in Fluttershy's cottage and wondered what she was missing, because of course she was missing something. Otherwise she would have seen something. And since she hadn’t seen something, then something was ipso fatso missing. Just like in the Sherclop Hooves books.
“Step one: ascertain that something is missing.” It was. “Check. Step two: interrogate the witnesses.”
She took out a huge magnifying glass and through it gazed onto a giant white creature with huge teeth.
Putting the glass away, she took out a pencil and notepad. “Where were you on the morning of the eggnapping?” she asked archly.
Angel Bunny just stared at her angrily and pointed at the kitchen. He hopped over and pointed to a small tripod. On it hung a small canvas showing an oil painting of a table on which lay a bowl of carrots, behind which was a window that looked out over a dark, stormcloud-filled sky raining lightning bolts down on an assortment of cute woodland creatures fleeing in terror.
Angel put on a small black beret and pantomimed dabbing paint on the canvas. He then put a paw to one ear and turned towards the living room, blinking both eyes three times in the space of a few seconds.
Pinkie scribbled in her notebook.
Putting down his imaginary brush and pallet, he burst into the living room with Pinkie close behind him and in three long bounds stood before a basket that held a loose blanket. There he drew an oval shape in the air over the basket with his forepaws, and shrugged with his paws spread wide before him.
“And the egg was gone, just like that?” asked Pinkie.
Angel crossed his forelegs and nodded emphatically.
“You didn’t see anypony?”
His ears flopped back and forth as he shook his tiny head.
“Wow!” Pinkie smiled happily. “I’m pretty good at this interrogation stuff, aren’t I?” She scribbled in her notebook some more.
Angel Bunny took off his beret, sighed and rolled his eyes. He then hopped to a place on the floor. And tapped his foot. He pointed at a deep gouge mark in the floorboards. Hopping in the direction of the front door, he pointed out second similar mark on the floor. He then hopped up onto the credenza next to the door, and pointed at its frame. It looked like a large blade had cut into the heavy wood.
“Sheesh,” exclaimed Pinkie, looking irate. “You’d think somepony would be more careful moving heavy objects around in Fluttershy’s house...”
Her eyes grew huge. “Say, you don’t think this might have been caused by the eggnappers, do you?”
Angel nodded slowly, eyes rolling and tiny rabbit mouth scowling even worse.
“That’s it!” cried Pinkie exultantly. “The game’s ahoof! And I’d better go report my brilliant deductions to the others!” She galloped out of the cottage at ludicrous speed, leaving the front door wide open.
Angel Bunny sighed. He pulled the door shut, and looked at the beret he still clutched in one paw. Setting it between his ears, he stomped back into the kitchen.
“And that’s when I figured it all out,” said Pinkie to the gathered Element Bearers. “Angel Bunny's art therapy is doing wonders for his anger management. He didn't try to bite me even once!” She glanced upwards and bit her lip. “Oh! And a giant kangaroo with a sword for a peg leg stole Discord’s egg!”
A quick look around the circle showed that her friends didn’t seem convinced.
“Uh, sugarcube,” said Applejack. “Don’tcha think somepony would have noticed a critter like that hoppin’ around?”
Pinkie scratched her mane. “Well duh! If he has a peg leg, then he’s probably a pirate kangaroo, and maybe in his travels he’s stolen a cloak of invisibility as well, and that’s why nopony’s seen him!”
Twilight intervened. “As likely as that possibility is Pinkie, we have to consider all the other possibilities as well. At what height was that mark in the door frame?”
Pinkie held a hoof just at about the level of her chin. “That’s how I deduced it was a kangaroo. It had to have jumped pretty high to slice the doorway with its sword leg.”
“Oh. Okay, then,” said Twilight. “How about you go looking for more clues while I report your findings back to Canterlot?”
Pinkie nodded her head. “Okie, dokie, lokie!” she said. She gave Twilight a tight hug. “That’s for believing me,” she added. She looked at Twilight askance. “You know, sometimes I think nopony takes me seriously around here. But Twilight, you always do. Thanks!”
“Sure thing, Pinkie.” Twilight watched her as she bounced her way out of the throne room. She looked at her pegasus guardponies at attention on each side of the door. They presented arms as she approached, pounding the butts of their heavy spears on the floor.
“Guardpony,” she addressed the one on the right, “If you had to carry a very heavy object while on duty, what would you do with your spear?”
“Your Majesty!” the guard replied nervously, “Er, I would place the object on my back and hold the spear tucked under a wing, Your Majesty, Ma’am!”
Twilight’s eyebrows rose as she considered his response.
“So the blade of the spear would be projecting forwards?” she asked.
The pegasus nodded.“Yes, Ma'am!”
Suddenly noticing that the young guardpony was sweating under such close attention, she smiled to reassure him. “Well then, keep up the good work, gentlecolts!”
She left the throne room deep in thought.
Pinkie Pie had a shift at Sugarcube Corner that afternoon, so she put away her detective gear and put on her pastry cooking apron and chef’s hat instead. It being Tuesday the store had only light business, so she had plenty of time to chat with the customers between batches of muffins and several orders for custom decorated birthday cakes.
The bell over the door rang and a unicorn she had never seen before entered and went straight up to the counter. He had a banana yellow coat, dark purple mane, wore a paisley vest with a striped tie, and sunglasses. The stallion looked at her from behind his shades. Or at least she thought he did.
“Pinkamena Pie, right?” He turned his head briefly back towards the shop’s door. While his head was turned she could see that his irises were ruby red. She also discretely put on her own set of Razorhoof wraparound UV-B-Gone sunglasses.
“What’s it to you, stranger?” she said.
The stallion turned his face back in her direction and did a double take.
“Unless you wanna buy a dozen muffins or are here to pick up a birthday cake, in which case my answer is yiperoo!”
“Er,” said the stallion, “I’m a secret agent of the crown, and we want to have all the details of your investigation.” A single dark eyebrow peeked above his shades. “All of them.” He took out a notepad.
Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs and saluted with military precision. “Sir! Yes, sir! Sir!” She then leaned on the counter.
“It all started when as a filly I read The hound of the Barrelvilles. It was..."
The stallion had raised a hoof.
“Yes, you in the paisley vest..." Pinkie pointed a hoof at him.
He looked around and sighed. “Um, we just need to know about your investigation of the missing hol... I mean egg... yeah, thats it, the egg.”
“Okie, dokie, lokie!” She took out her investigator’s notebook and began to read. The stallion’s horn glowed as he wrote in his.
Stormblast had just left guard duty at the castle. He bought a fast-feed bag and ate a dull tasting salad from it while hurrying to the warehouse district of Canterlot. For some reason there were a lot of ponies out and about tonight.
All I get for my efforts is more guard duty! he thought morosely. For a third night in a row he was guarding the blasted egg. He sincerely wished they would hurry up and assemble a sufficient number of powerful unicorns to do the stone spell, so all this double-duty work would be over with and he could finally get a good night’s sleep.
He looked around before entering the building. For a change there was nopony in sight, so he went straight in. Trotting up one flight of steps, he faced the door. He gave the secret knock and was let in.
An aged stallion gave him the key, sketched a salute and, without another word, let himself out.
Stormblast inspected the iron cage, the only furnishing in the room other than a lamp and a chair, making sure the egg still was securely locked inside. He turned around, sat down in the chair with a grunt, took out a pocket novel and began reading.
It wasn’t very long when he heard the secret knock tapped on the door.
The old codger must have forgotten his teeth or something! he thought in annoyance, and went to open the door.
He pulled back on the latch, but instead of the same old pony he saw a unicorn in a paisley vest, striped tie and a rather reptilian looking pair of dark glasses.
“Buddy,” he said, “Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains is in the next building over.”
“I know that!” said the stallion as if offended. “Don’t you think I know that?”
Stormblast shook his head and had almost closed the door when the unicorn’s horn glowed. The door blew off its hinges, throwing him onto his backside in the process. He saw stars as the unicorn entered.
“Where’s the Holy of Holies?” asked the unicorn.
“The... holy... what...?” asked Stormblast, his head still ringing.
The stallion focused his attention on the cage.
“Oh, never mind! It’s all good!” he said with a smile. Stepping up to Stormblast, his horn pulsed with light again and then everything went dark.
Captain Flash Sentry led the squad into the building. Since they began observing it one pony entered, a different one left, and a third one entered. The old pony who had left the building had been taken into custody as soon as he turned a corner.
They went up a flight of stairs and were surprised to find a wide open armored door. Rushing inside they fanned out, with a pair of guardponies going to each of the two objects to be found therein: a pegasus stallion lying on the floor and, a short distance away, an empty cage, its door open and a padlock with a key still inside of it hanging off of it.
One of the guards opened a bottle of smelling salts under the prone stallion’s muzzle. He lifted his head, and Flash felt the bitterness of anger and betrayal in his gut. He casually trotted up to the sputtering pegasus.
“So, Stormblast,” he said. “Where did you put the egg?”
Stormblast rose onto his forelegs and turned to look in the direction of the cage. The anger on his face couldn’t have been feigned. Sentry had known him for too long.
“It’s gone, Captain,” said the traitor. “That fashion disaster of a unicorn must have taken it.”
Flash felt his blood go cold. “Paisley and stripes?”
“The very same, Captain.”
Flash wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not. “We observed that stallion going in, but not leaving,” he said. “Lieutenant Fire Brand,” he called, “I want this building sealed tighter than a lactose intolerant stallion’s lips at a cheese eating convention!”
He put hobbles on Stormblast.
“Have you bothered putting a teleportation interdict around this building?” asked his prisoner.
Flash answered with a glare.
“Then you can forget about finding anypony. This fashion disaster was a rather high powered unicorn. I’m sure he teleported into one of the neighboring buildings and is blocks away by now.”
Captain Sentry still didn’t say a word, but the traitor was right.
“Book him, Fire Brand. Treason and egg-napping.” He left the building feeling far worse than when he had entered it. Now he had to explain to two princesses how Discord's egg had been stolen from within their grasp yet again.
Twilight and her friends sat in their thrones. The mood in the throne room of Friendship Rainbow Castle was somber, to say the least. Fluttershy had stopped weeping openly and instead hid her face in her mane, wrapping herself in a cocoon of silence.
Captain Flash Sentry walked into the circle to deliver his latest report.
“Princess Twilight’s deductions were correct. The timing of the egg-napping left only a few potential suspects who could have possibly known that the egg was in Lady Fluttershy’s cottage. These included yourselves, the residents of Apple Acres Farm, Princess Celestia and her guard detachment. She also deduced from Lady Pie's report that the perpetrator may have been carrying a sword or spear at the time. By eliminating those who had an alibi for the time of the eggnapping, the only suspects left were identified as the two Solar guards. They were both tailed, and finally one of them led us to the site where the egg had been stored.
“We raided the site, but were too late. A competing faction had apparently already stolen the egg from the one to which our traitorous guardpony belonged.”
“What can you tell us about these factions?” asked Twilight.
“The first one call themselves the Order of Harmony,” answered Captain Flash, “and their intent was to turn Discord’s egg to stone. The only thing that prevented them from achieving their goal was that they had not collected a sufficient number of powerful unicorns to cast the spell. We were aware of the existence of this group, but had not made efforts to infiltrate them as they had been deemed likely harmless to the general populace and crown of Equestria.
“The other group is far more shadowy. The members of the Order of Harmony called them the Horde of Discord, but that is almost all we know. Their objectives, membership and intent in stealing Discord’s egg are all unknown. The Royal Intelligence Services have focused all their considerable assets into locating this group, but I must advise you that as of today we have no useful leads to follow-up on, only a partial description of one member, as he was wearing a disguise. We found out afterwards that several of our agents actually crossed paths with him while we were tailing the traitorous guard pony. It’s amazing how a truly horrendous outfit can make a pony overlook the obvious!” He bowed.
Twilight rose from her seat. “Thank you, Captain. We’ll look forward to your reports.”
He bowed again, and pivoting on his rear hooves, left the throne room.
Fluttershy rose from her throne. “They’ll never find him in time!” she wailed. “He became my friend, and then betrayed my trust. He won it back, and then he died. And now, it’s happening again! Why didn’t I see this coming? Shouldn’t I have learned by now!?” Sobbing, she galloped out of the room.
Again, it was Rarity who took off after her.
“Okay, listen-up!” said Twilight. “I’m going to ransack every library and cache of books from here to the Crystal Empire to find something, anything about this ‘Horde of Discord’. Dash!”
“Yes, ma’am!” The pegasus saluted.
“Get to Cloudsdale and find out if any pegasi have ever heard of the Horde, and if so what they have heard!”
Dash flew up towards the ceiling window. Twilight’s horn glowed and the window opened just in time.
“Applejack! If I recall correctly earth ponies can sense Discord’s egg if it’s on land with which they have a connection. Please provide a detailed description of this feeling to the Royal Intelligence Service so they can comb for any earth pony reported incidents that might fit that profile.”
“On it, Twi!” Applejack galloped out of the room, leaving Twilight and Pinkie Pie.
“What about me?” said Pinkie enthusiastically. “What should I do, hunh?”
Twilight scratched her head. “I don’t know Pinkie. I’ve kind of run out of ideas.”
The pink mare’s ears drooped. Her bangs suddenly lost some of their curl.
“Really? You don’t have anything you want me to do?”
“I’m sorry Pinkie.” Twilight’s ears also started to bend down, and then her eyes widened. “But then nothing’s more important than helping Rarity cheer up Fluttershy, right?”
Pinkie’s ears shot up and she nodded emphatically. “Yer darn tootin’ nothing’s more important!” Her hair puffed out like a huge ball of pink cotton candy and she bounced out through the door.
Twilight heaved a sigh of relief. She turned to Spike who sat on his throne, now almost as big as her own. “Looks like we have some books to hit!”
He grinned. “Just like old times!” He rose and walked over to Twilight, taking one of her forelegs in his.
“Just like old times!” She nodded, and with a flash of her horn teleported them away.
Pinkie Pie pronked out of the castle as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Of course she knew that Twilight’s suggestion she go help Rarity cheer up Fluttershy was just her friend’s attempt at making her feel better, not Fluttershy. She also knew that the white and yellow mares shared a very close relationship that predated Twilight’s arrival in Ponyville. If anypony could help Fluttershy now, it was Rarity. Pinkie would only get in the way.
However, just the fact that Twilight tried so hard to make Pinkie feel better actually did make her feel better!
For the umpty-numpteth time in her life Pinkie thanked her lucky stars for having brought her and her friends together in Ponyville! The feeling only steeled her resolve that she needed to do something to help Fluttershy, and Pinkie had had an inspiration!
With one last bounce she arrived at her destination: her own bedroom at Sugarcube Corner. Hastily, she got a paper and pen out from her dresser drawer. Placing it on the floor, she lay down on her belly and began writing.
Dear Cheese Sandwich,
I need your help! Please come to me now!
Signed,
Pinkamena Diane Pie
She quickly folded the letter into a paper airplane, opened the window and threw it out with a flourish. She looked at it do a few loops as it flew off.
“That ought to do it!” she declared with a smile and went back to her dresser to close the drawer.
There was a knock at her door. She bounced over to it and opened it wide.
Before her stood a tall earth pony with a burnt orange coat, wearing a yellow bowling shirt, from which protruded a long neck topped with a stallion’s face with pink eye, shrouded by a frizzy brown mane in which a paper airplane was stuck.
“You called, oh party of one?” asked Cheese Sandwich.
“Yiperoo!” said Pinkie. “I need your advice!”
“My brain and memories are yours to command, Pinkie, you know that,” said the stallion while bending his left knee.
Pinkie looked down. “Why do you kneel on your left knee?” she asked, curious.
“I used to use the other one. But then I caught an arrow in it.” He grinned. “Good thing we ponies have four, right!?”
“You said it!” Pinkie draped a foreleg over his back. “But tell me,” she whispered, “where would you go to buy the cheesiest outfit in Equestria?”
“How Cheesy?” he whispered back, “as cheesy as a paisley vest with a striped tie?”
“Yiperoodeedoo!”
“Hmm,” he stroked his chin while turning his gaze upwards. “I would go to Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains in Canterlot. You won’t find cheesier, at any price.”
He looked back down and saw a pink pony with a mustache. “Who are you?” he asked archly.
Pinkie waggled her eyebrows and pulled off the fake ‘stache. “It’s me, silly! Like my disguise?”
“It’s brilliant! You going on an investigation?”
“How did you guess?”
He raised one eyebrow high. “I’m blessed with razor-sharp situational awareness! But then, –” he walked back to the door “– my work here is done. Goodbye, Pinkamena, and good hunting!” With a final shake of his mane, he was gone.
Pinkie Pie put the fake mustache back on. “And I have a perp to catch!” She bounced out of Sugarcube Corner, bound for the train station. The two fifteen express to Canterlot was warming up to depart, and Pinkie had a ticket with her name on it.
Oh, by the hair of Celestia’s chin! This is going to be one of the strange ones!
Flash Schmutta looked on in fascinated disgust as the strange stallion with the poofy pink mane and black mustache tried not to stand out. And, even for the usual herd of fashion weirdos usually found at Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains, this one was a doozy!
Meh! he said to himself. Nopony was more surprised than he was at the bits he was raking-in selling the trashiest lines of coat coverings ever seen outside a salt induced fever dream. His surprise however hadn’t made him stupid. If they wanted it, he would sell it to them. Speaking of which...
“Why, hello... sir. Welcome to Flash’s...” Flash stopped talking because the strange pony had put his forehoof over Flash's lips.
“What if I wanted a paisley vest and striped tie combo?” asked the weirdo, “Would you sell that to me?” He lowered his hoof.
“Well, certainly I’d –” the stallion used the other forehoof to block his mouth this time.
“Good! But how can I trust your workponyship? Do you have anypony who has purchased such an ensemble before that would vouch for your paisley skills?” The hoof returned to the floor.
Flash felt insulted. “Why, I’ll have you know that I sell at least one such outfit every Thursday night. My paisley vest and striped tie combos are reputed in all of –” His lips were suddenly covered by a pink hindhoof. Oh, brother! he thought, this one really does take the cake!
“So Thursday night you can introduce me to one of these paisley-vested-stripe-tied-types?”
“Yes, just be here at precisely five fifteen. They always –” Inevitably, the fourth and last hoof was pressed to his lips. Good thing I had the stock-colt sweep the floor this morning! He sputtered and spat out a woodchip. Or was that last Tuesday?
“Okay. I’ll be here.” The weirdo got a sly look on his face. “Oh, and don’t tell paisley-stripey that I’m coming. Mumm’s the word, capice!” The hoof went back to the floor.
Humpf! he thought to himself. As if I'd warn a mark about another one coming in here with more bits than sense! Still, he didn’t want to say anything more, fearing to discover what other body parts might be thrust against his kisser.
The weirdo looked at him expectantly, and seeing as Flash was out of words, he left the store pronking like an antelope.
The meeting in the throne room was tense. Three weeks had passed since the discovery of Discord’s egg, and it was still missing.
Fluttershy looked around the circle of friendly faces miserably. “But... but, they’ll take good care of him, won’t they? I mean, they stole him from the other fanatics who wanted to turn him to stone, after all! Won’t they raise him to be a good little draconequus? And teach him to look both ways before crossing the street and all that?”
“I thought you wanted to raise him,” asked Rainbow Dash. Rarity gave the pegasus a stern look.
“I do want to raise him! Taking care of others is what I've always wanted to do! And ever since I was a little filly I've dreamed of being a mother. I want this! Is that selfish of me to want something for me for once!”
“If course not!” said Rarity.
“But if it's not me, even if it's one of those eggnappers, I just hope it'll be somepony nice,” said Fluttershy. “For his sake.”
Nopony could look her in the face.
Oddly, one of her friends was missing. “Where’s Pinkie Pie?” she asked.
“We don’t know!” said Twilight. “She’s been gone for almost a week. Someone reported a pink pony getting onto the Canterlot express at the beginning of the week, but it turns out it was some stallion with a mustache.” Her smile showed more worry than confidence. “But you know Pinkie Pie, she’ll turn up at the least expected time and in the strangest possible fashion.”
Several heads nodded at the comment.
“Look,” Twilight added. “We’re doing nothing here but chewing our hooves off. How about you all go home, and I’ll send word if there is any new development? Fluttershy, I’ve had a room prepared for you in the castle’s living quarters. Rarity and Spike will go keep you company there.”
“Hmm,” said Spike. “I was going write a description of living quarters for the Breezie delegation that are coming here next month. It would really be great if you and Rarity could help me out.”
Rarity’s smile was infectious. “Oh, my! A decorating assignment from our handsome ambassador – and one involving miniature furniture! Fluttershy, how can we resist?”
The yellow mare nodded. “Okay!” she said, peeking out from under her mane. “It does sound like fun.”
“Good!” said Twilight as she stood. “Thank you all. I’m going to Canterlot Castle in case there are any new developments there.”
Together they left the throne room.
The Horde of Discord was in a celebratory mood. The egg would hatch any minute now. Knick Knack decided to go all out. He hung a heavy silver snaggle tooth pendant around his neck. It sparkled as it dangled next to the new striped tie he had just bought to replace the old one.
The whole Horde was pretty happy indeed. All four of them.
“It’s amazing that we’ve been able to keep this Horde going for over a thousand years,” he said to the new guy. “Imagine that, meeting in Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains! What a cosmic coincidence.”
“Yiperoony!” said the new guy through his mustache. “Say, what are we supposed to do with His Discordance once he pops out? Sing songs? Play checkers? Ping pong? Shuffleboard?”
Knick Knack’s brow furrowed in thought. “We hadn’t really put much thought to it.” He looked at Sloppy Joe and Laughter Patch, the other stallions that made up the Horde.
“I dunno. Do kids like to play cards? We could teach him poker or maybe start him off with something easy like Go Fish or something.”
“What about diapers, rattles and talcum powder n’ stuff? Do you have any of those things ready?”
Knick Knack was floored. They hadn’t considered the need for any of those things. “We uh, we kinda figured we’d play it by ear. Chaos-style, you know!”
The new guy was beginning to looked miffed.
“Have any of you ever taken care of newborn foals before?”
All three of the Original Three shook their heads.
“Well then, aren’t we lucky I have, and that I picked up these foalsitting supplies before meeting you guys at Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains?”, the new guy began pronking around them.
“Wow! That’s such a coinci... dence.” All of a sudden, Knick Knack had a sneaking suspicion.
“Hey!” He pointed a hoof at the new guy. “You!”
The new guy stopped and began looking nervous. “I what?”
He was just about to reach for the the new guy’s muzzle when there was a loud crash at the door. He turned to look as Sloppy Joe went to investigate. Knick saw a flash. Joe flew back and hit the far wall, crumpling into a heap.
“Hey!” said Laughter Patch. He glowed and rose into the air, his limbs thrashing wildly until there was a crunching noise and he fell to the floor, limp as a rag doll.
He looked towards the door. There was an old unicorn mare there with a cane.
“The Horde could not long evade us!” she cackled gleefully. “Show us to the egg. We will neutralize it and then we will spare you.”
“Hah! You and whose army?” he asked, charging up his horn.
A dozen or so large burly unicorns hustled into the room.
“Oh. That one.” Still, he knew his magical strength had been much amplified by the power of chaos magic. “That’s barely enough for me and my buddy Mr. Stronghoof here...” He pointed to his right where the new guy was standing.
The old mare looked confused. “Who do you mean? That filly with the frizzy mane?”
Knick turned his gaze and saw the the new guy was gone. Instead there was some pink earth pony mare in his place.
“And who in Discord’s name are you?”
The mare smiled. “Oh, I’m just the caterer. And look! I brought too many egg sandwiches!” She wrapped her hooves around a large round shape hidden under a blanket. “I’ll just take these back with me!” She began to huff and puff as she carried the sandwiches away.
The old mare’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Just one minute! Who are you –”
Knick Knack’s horn glowed as he discharged a beam of chaos straight at the old mare. Without stopping to verify the effect of his attack, he crouched behind a table, ducking as several furious blasts were directed at his position.
He settled down for a protracted battle. He knew he was a very powerful unicorn. Glancing around he couldn’t see hide nor hair of the new guy. Too bad. He’d seemed pretty okay. He rose and blasted several members of the old mare’s army out through the windows.
Pinkie Pie was excessively good at sneaking around. She had become very proficient at getting in and out of places and moving around unobserved from all the surprise parties she had held over a very active lifetime of partying.
She grunted. This is one heavy egg! she lamented internally. And I have to get it to Fluttershy before it hatches.
A few distractions and misdirections later, she was out on the street and ducked in an alleyway. It was only a short but exhausting trot around the block where she saw a police pony directing wagon traffic. She waved her down.
“Contact the Castle immediately!” she said. “Element of Harmony emergency!” She even remembered the code word she had been given to get assistance under such circumstances: “Priority code: kumquat!”
A royal chariot arrived on the scene within five minutes. One minute later and they were on their way to Ponyville.
In the chariot, Pinkie Pie finally had a chance to breath. She looked at the egg, swaddled in its blanket. She shrugged out of her saddle bags. They still contained the newborn supplies she had bought earlier in the day.
“See?” she told the egg, “I wasn’t kidding when I said I went shopping before meeting those guys at Flash’s Fancy Wholesale Fashion Bargains!”
She approached the egg and carefully folded back the blanket, exposing the golden shell beneath.
“I want you to know,” she said kinda shyly, “I wouldn’t have minded being the one to raise you myself.” She sighed. “Most ponies think all I'm interested in is having fun and holding parties. But these last few years, especially after I started foalsitting, I keep thinking of how swell it would be to have a family of my own. I almost spoke up when Twilight asked for volunteers, but then Fluttershy said she wanted to do it, and it just seemed so incredibly important to her. I just, –” her ears drooped “– I just couldn’t take that away from her.”
She stroked the golden surface. “Still, I really am a pretty awesome foalsitter. And I’ve always wondered if... I would have made a good mom.”
She snugged the blanket back over the egg and patted it.
“I guess,” she sniffed, “I'll have to wait a while longer to find out.”
The chariot arrived in Ponyville to much fanfare. Twilight trotted down to the castle courtyard as the conveyance made its final approach.
The landing was smooth as silk, as one would have expected. The pegasus guardponies detached their harnesses and took station on each side of the door. One of them opened it. Nopony stood waiting to get off.
Twilight waited several seconds, and then called out. “Pinkie, is everything okay?”
“Just peacheriffic!” came the reply.
“Aren’t you going to come out?” asked Twilight.
“Yuppers. But... just give us a minute, Twilight, please.”
Us? As far as she knew, Pinkie was the only passenger aboard, other than... the egg!
Twilight waited patiently for a minute, then there was a motion at the carriage door. Pinkie Pie appeared, standing on three legs and clutching a blanket to her bosom with the other. A small head peeked from the cloth. Tiny mismatched limbs clutched her coat.
“Guess what, Twi? The little guy just couldn't wait to be born!” She beamed down tenderly at the little form. “Isn’t he beautiful!?”
The Element Bearers and Spike had been assembled in the throne room shortly before Pinkie’s chariot landed. There were seven thrones in the circle, and all of them were occupied except for Twilight’s and Pinkie Pie’s.
The mood was exultant and all heads turned expectantly when Twilight appeared in the doorway. As she strode down the aisle that led to the circle of thrones, ponies clapped hooves and shouted greetings. Then another profile shadowed the doorway behind her. The room grew progressively quieter as a pink mare walked in, standing upright and holding a blanketed bundle in both forelegs. By the time she reached the center of the circle, Twilight stood before her throne, and the room was deathly quiet.
Pinkie remained standing in the center of the circle. There was the sound of a baby’s cry. She raised the bundle to her face and cooed reassuringly. She then plunged a forehoof into her frizzy mane and pulled out a nursing bottle full of a white liquid. She inserted it carefully into the bundle. The crying stopped and was replaced by a loud slurping sound.
“He's a hungry little fella!" Pinkie smiled down at the bundle. “That’s his third bottle since he hatched!” She looked up in Spike’s direction. “Hold your left claw up, Spikeroo!”
The dragon shrugged and complied. Closing one eye, Pinkie rotated minutely on her rear hooves. There was a huge burp and the empty milk bottle arced through the air, landing precisely into Spike’s open claw.
There was a moment of complete silence.
“That, was awesome!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. As if that had been the cue they were waiting for, everypony abandoned their thrones and went down to inspect the newly hatched infant.
Dash arrived first as she flew down to land next to Pinkie. “So what does the little bugger look like?”
Pinkie pulled the blanket back, revealing a small round head completely bald except for two little knobs dotting its crown. His eyes were red, with yellow pupils. And like any infant, he seemed very unsure at the fast growing crowd coming to look at him. He turned and buried his face in Pinkie’s ample mane.
“Ooh, he’s shy!” declared Pinkie. “Whoever woulda thunk it?” She patted the infant’s back reassuringly.
There was a lull in the noise and Pinkie’s smile faltered as she saw Fluttershy approach. It was clear from her face that her friend had spent most of the last day weeping. She stopped in front of the pair, her expression unreadable.
“Do you want to hold him?” asked Pinkie. Her voice trembled, and her eyes were moist.
Fluttershy lifted the corner of the blanket revealing the back of his little head and tiny shoulder. Little claws dug deeper into Pinkie’s coat.
Fluttershy sighed, and patted the blanket back into place. She stepped back and shook her head.
“No, he’s just where a newborn needs to be, –” a smile as sweet and tender as Celestia’s dawn lit her face “– he’s with his momma.” She leaned over and nuzzled Pinkie Pie. “Congratulations, Pinkie. I think you’ll make a wonderful mother!”
Cheers rang out, and were silenced by another cry from the newborn. There were chuckles and murmurs in hushed tones, as everypony did their discrete best to get a peek at the infant.
Oblivious to it all, Pinkie Pie rocked the newborn gently as tears streaked down her muzzle. It wasn’t long until she realized that it was now up to her to make the right decisions for this little one. She smiled apologetically. “Sorry to leave the party early, but the... my son needs his nap now. I think it’s time I brought him home.”
Each of the mares and Spike took turns to wish her a good night, then Twilight stepped up close and draped a foreleg over her withers. There was a flash and they stood in Pinkie’s familiar room in Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie raised a hoof to her lips. Twilight nodded.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Pinkie?” whispered Twilight.
There was a world of longing and hope in Pinkie’s eyes. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life, Twilight.” She sniffed. “Oh, Twilight, am I being selfish? You know I would never, ever, ever hurt a friend, don’t you? And Fluttershy is one of my bestest friends of all.”
Twilight nodded. “I know, Pinkie. And so does Fluttershy. She knows you’ll be a great mom for the little guy." Her gaze turned inwards. "I think she only volunteered because of the love she still feels for the old Discord."
Twilight glanced back up. "But this is a new Discord, a little lost soul who needs a family to grow up in, and I think that somehow, of all of us, Pinkie, he chose you. I think Fluttershy saw this too. She loves him enough to let him make that choice, and she is kind enough and wise enough to accept it.”
Pinkie nodded, smiling again through her tears. There was another flash, and Twilight was gone.
In the corner next to Pinkie’s bed was the cradle in which the Cake twins had slept so often when she was foalsitting them. She walked silently over to it, pushed it up against the side of her bed, and gently deposited the sleeping infant within. She sat on the edge of her bed and gazed in contentment on the tiny sleeper. Soon, she had to stifle a yawn of her own. “Mothers need their naps, too,” she whispered softly.
She looked around the room.
When the Cake twins had reached school age they began taking naps in their own bedroom. Her own room had felt so empty without them, so she had stopped spending much time there. Tonight though, it felt very different. Tonight her room was warm, and safe, and full of life. It was home.
