The Great Ponyville Election

by RarityFigma

The Filth of the Trail

HEDGEMONT CENTER WEDNESDAY 1:00 PM

A huge crowd of pegasi exchanged confused glances in the middle of the Hedgemont Center. Each had been received a note or some form of message to assemble at the field. Many ponies hadn’t seen each other since the time they united to bring water to Cloudsdale. However a familiar whistle blew causing everypony to turn and face the stage. A certain well known pegasus with a rainbow mane and a tenacious smile cheerfully greeted her audience.

“Attention pegasi! Rainbow Dash yelled to the crowd. “I’m glad you all came to this field today! Because today is the first step to a better Ponyville for all of us!”

Everypony stared up at Rainbow Dash in confusion. They also couldn’t help, but give a few worried glances over to Fluttershy, who was barely standing a few feet behind Dash. Little did everypony know the amount of time it takes to message every single pegasus in Ponyville. Poor Fluttershy had been up all night flying letters and knocking on doors to get the audience Rainbow Dash now had. The yellow pony struggled to keep her eyes open. She kept her sights glued on her friend and her leader.

“Now I hope everypony knows that the Mayor’s new laws make life not only boring, but also harder,” Rainbow Dash said opening a copy of the new rulebook. “Under the Mayor’s boring leadership we’ve lost the right to fly at 10 or more wingpower at heights below 100 feet of the town!” The ponies in the crowd still looked up at Dash confused. The pegasus tried to find an example. Suddenly her gaze became transfixed on a perculiar gray pony with a yellow mane.

“Derpy!” Rainbow Dash said pointing at the mail pony.

Derpy grew scared for a minute. “Who? Me?” She said awkwardly.

“Yes you!” Rainbow Dash responded. “You deliver mail right? Well this rule makes it so you can’t zip over the buildings to deliver mail faster! Are you ok with that?!”

Derpy thought for a few seconds. “I…guess not,” she said slowly.

“And what about,” Rainbow Dash said as she scanned the crowd again. “You Flitter!”

The pegasus shook when Dash pointed at her. “Mmm me?”

Rainbow flipped to the next page in the rulebook. “You and your brother wanted to start a flight school here in Ponyville right?”

The pegasus looked at her brother who also seemed confused and scared. They both turned to Dash and said, “Yeah that was our plan why?”

“Well this rule by the Mayor says that all flight classes must be taught by a teacher 20 years or older,” Rainbow Dash said slamming the book against the podium. “Sorry, but both of you are too young to start your school.” The pair of ponies started to tear up. The crowd all felt sympathy for the saddened duo. That was when Rainbow Dash decided to make her grand declaration.

“My fellow Pegasi!” Dash cried. “For too long we’ve accepted boring and lame rules. We let ourselves be fooled into believing that our safety was at stake. When the real thing in jeopardy was everypony’s right to have fun and live their dreams! Well I think if we’re all happy and unrestrained, we’ll be more than safe. Because what’s the good of this safety if life becomes a total bore! So listen up everypony! If you vote for me as new mayor of Ponyville, I promise to remove every single rule that stops us from doing our jobs and having fun!”

The crowd all started to look at Rainbow Dash with some pride. Then a few ponies started to cheer and stomp in approval. The feeling spread and soon the whole crowd was exploding with support for Rainbow Dash. The pegasus smiled strengthened by the surge of happiness. Dash raised her right hoof to the sky as she did before and shouted aloud her slogan.

“Join the Rainbow Revolution!” Dash yelled as the crowd again began to mimic her pose. The audience began to chant Rainbow Dash’s name over and over again. The blue pegasus was ecstatic. “Hehe, let’s see Twilight beat me now.”

PONYVILLE HAT SHOP 2:34 PM

“Now now Twilight,” Rarity said as she tried to force a size 2 hat on Twilight’s size 4 head. “You need to stop struggling.”

“UGGHHH!” Twilight screamed. “GET IT OFF ME!” Rarity heeded Twilight’s words and levitated the hat away.

“Oh ok,” Rarity said. “We’ll just have to custom order a hat in your size then!”

“Rarity,” Twilight said depressed. “Ever since we left the house yesterday, all you and Applejack have done is spent the money on superficial things like my clothes! We haven’t made a single flier yet!”

“Nonsense Darling,” Rarity answered. “Why with the improvements we’ve made to your wardrobe, you’ll beat Dash and Pinkie in no time!”

Twilight let out a sigh. “What do you think Applejack? Applejack?” Twilight turned to see Applejack happily wearing a scuba diving helmet. Twilight facehoofed.

“What do ya think?” Applejack laughed. “Aint this the craziest space hat ya’ll ever seen?”

Rarity giggled. “Oh it looks lovely AJ,” the white pony chuckled.

“Alright guys,” Twilight said. The big debate is tonight and I need to do as much campaigning as possible before then. Rarity how much money do we have left?”

Rarity grew dumbfounded. “Umm well let’s see here,” she said pulling out a VERY long list. “Well it looks like we still have about 800 bits.”

“800 BITS!” Twilight screeched. “WE HAD 3000 BITS YESTERDAY! HOW DID WE SPEND 2200 BITS IN LESS THAN ONE DAY?!” Applejack and Rarity each looked away and whistled a guilty tune. Twilight’s was growing physically red now. “What did you guys buy?!”

“Well,” Applejack said slowly. “I kinda bought a new tractor… and a new barn to put it in. But I swear it only cost 800 bits!”

Twilight threw a peeved look at Rarity. The white unicorn recoiled, beginning to sweat profusely. “I ah,” Rarity began. “I might have bought a few imported perfumes. But I did it for the campaign really! You need to smell your best dear!”

“How much did you spend?” Twilight growled.

“Only a measly… um 500 bits,” Rarity whimpered.

“Well that doesn’t add up,” Twilight said. “We only spent 300 bits on my outfit. Where did the last 600 bits go?” Rarity and Applejack exchanged glances and smiled. The duo then escorted Twilight from the hat store.

TWILIGHT’S LIBRARY 3:14 PM

Twilight stared with a rage far greater than any she had ever felt before. Rarity and Applejack kept their most optimistic smiles on as they pointed at the eyesore in the middle of Twilight’s living room. The purple mare slowly asked her question. “You guys spent 600 bits… ON A NEW MAGIC SCREEN TELEVISION!”

The giant crystal screen was randomly placed in the center of Twilight’s room. It was shiny and eye pleasing even while turned off. Magic television was all the rage in Canterlot, but it hadn’t taken off anywhere else due to the high price of the system.

“But Twilight think of this,” Rarity said as she caressed the huge crystal. “When you get announced as the new mayor we can watch the event right here on this beautiful high def magic screen TV!”

“Yeah Twi,” Applejack said running over to the device. “Besides now we can watch all the great magic TV shows! Oh boy I can’t wait!”

“How did you two even agree on this?!” Twilight bellowed in rage.

“Well it’s simple,” Rarity answered. “I get the TV on the weekdays and Applejack gets it on the weekends.”

Applejack leaned in close to Twilight. “Rarity’s a sucker Twi! All the best shows air on the weekends! Everypony knows that!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Twilight shouted causing AJ to back up. “I can’t believe you two! We’re saving Ponyville from chaos remember?! You guys have been acting totally selfish and-”

Suddenly Spike ran into the room right past the three mares. He grabbed a few books and was about to bolt when Twilight called him. “Spike where have you been?”

“Oh what?” Spike said quickly. “Sorry Twilight I’m really busy!” The little dragon was running in place. “I need some books on baking and politics and stuff! You know how it is!”

“Spike why are yer eyes red?” Applejack asked.

“Well I’ve been up all night helping Pinkie make fliers and stuff,” the dragon answered. “I’ve also eaten nothing but cookies for the last two days.”

“Spike how many times do I have to tell you that eating too many sweets is bad for you!” Twilight’s maternal instincts momentarily distracted her from her corrupt campaign staff. However, before she could get an answer Spike was already at the door.

“Well gotta run!” Spike yelled as he took off down the road.

“Ughhh I don’t believe this,” Twilight moaned.

“Oh don’t worry Twilight,” Rarity said reassuringly. “You’ve got this election in the bag so to speak!”

“Yeah,” Applejack said as she put on the new slightly bigger cowboy hat she had bought with the campaign money. “Rainbow and Pinkie could never beat you!”

Twilight shot her friends an angry glare. “I’m still mad at you guys. But I guess your right. I mean what could Rainbow Dash possibly do to beat me?”

Suddenly the door to the library was thrown open as Spike ran back inside. “Sorry I forgot something! He said grabbing another book from the nearby shelf. “Also somepony gave me this flier while I was running here. I thought you might want it.” Spike handed the paper to Rarity before again fleeing the tree house at a ridiculous speed.

“What is it Rarity?” Twilight asked ignoring her concern for Spike.

“Um… I don’t think you want to see this darling,” Rarity answered dismally.

Twilight magically pulled the paper from Rarity and gave it glance. The flier showed Twilight with a pair of glasses poorly drawn over her face. The caption of the image read:

DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS EGGHEAD AS MAYOR?

Twilight crumpled the flier with her magic. “That little,” she said fuming. “I can’t believe Rainbow Dash would sink so low!”

“Ah don’t let it get under your skin Twi,” Applejack said trying to reassure her friend. “Rainbow Dash probably doesn’t have any really mud to throw at ya so she’s just makin jokes!”

The door opened up again as Spike ran into the room. The trio all looked at him with confusion.

“Well,” Twilight asked.

“Well what?” Spike answered scratching his head.

“What book did you forget this time?” Twilight chuckled.

“Oh I didn’t forget any books,” Spike answered cheerfully. “I just got a ton a fliers from Fluttershy!” The dragon ran outside and then reentered the tree with his arms filled with papers. “I figured, why not store them here and read them later! Well see ya!” Spike dropped the pile of fliers on the ground and for the third time took off down the road. Twilight took the precaution of locking the door.

“Hmm let’s see here,” Applejack said pulling some of the fliers. “Uh oh.”

“What uh oh?” Twilight said as she walked over to AJ.

Rarity took a glance at the flier in Applejack’s hooves. “Ohhhh that was cold of her,” Rarity said as she read the flier.

“What did Rainbow Dash do?!” Twilight said grabbing the flier from her friend’s hooves. The purple mare looked at the document and grew wide-eyed. The flier showed Twilight dressed in one of her most secret of princess gowns. The unicorn grew red. “HOW DID SHE?!” The flier was also captioned with the words:

Don’t vote for Twilight! She’s a total weirdo!

Twilight ran over to the pile of fliers Spike had left. Each paper had some embarrassing photo of Twilight. Some fliers even had articles calling the purple mare as a freak, a snob and worst of all, a total nerd. Twilight clenched her teeth. Her horn grew as red as her face. Applejack and Rarity both backed away in fear. Twilight’s mane lit on fire again scorching the fliers around her. Her fiery rage almost set fire to the very tree house. Luckily Applejack grabbed a nearby fire extinguish and sprayed the gray deluge all over Twilight. Within seconds the blazing pony was covered from head to hoof in foam. Only her very angry eyes were visible.

“Rainbow Dash is gonna pay for this.”

Comments

[UltiXevoz]

Dis Gun B Good

[OmniFox]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blackbelt]

oh hell. Twilight's pissed.

[Rainbow Dash the Awesome]

Why do I get the feeling that the winner is going to be a dark horse candidate (no pun intended), like Derpy, Zecora, or Cheerilee? It just seems like a classic but still hilarious way of ending this kind of story.

[Robotic Fireant]

gifsforum.com/images/gif/dis%20gon%20be%20good/grand/this_gon_b_gud_gif.gif

[NightmareDash]

Pony sh*t has just hit the town hall fan.

[Meadow_Elune]

Shit just got real, yo.

[Sparrow9612]

<(In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny: of course you realize, this means war!)

[ShadowLDrago]