The Great Ponyville Election

by RarityFigma

That Old Debate

The Great Ponyville Election

TOWN HALL WEDNESDAY 8:00 PM

The Town Hall was packed for the first Ponyville debate in 20 years. Everypony in town had been somehow affected by the explosive campaign. None were able to walk more than a few feet before seeing a pro-Rainbow Dash flier and more than half the ponies had eaten some of the delicious pro-Pinkie Pie baked goods. Even now the Crusader’s classmates were still handing out treats. Where were the Crusaders and Spike at this time? Well the sugar high little creatures were finally feeling the horrid effects of their 2 day straight binge in Pinkie’s dressing room.

Pinkie’s Dressing Room

“You guys,” Pinkie said endearingly. “I already told you we’ll have a race later right now we need to focus!”

“I can’t Pinkie!” Scootalou said as she tried to run up the wall to no avail. “I just can’t stop!”

“Yeah,” Applebloom moaned. “Ah think we ate too many sweets.”

Spike had fallen to the floor. “Ughhh…Tell me about it,” he whined.

Sweetie Belle had also crashed. She curled up in the corner. “I think I’ll gonna hurl,” Sweetie cried.

“Hmmm,” Pinkie struck a pensive pose. “Oh I know!” The pink pony grabbed a couple pills from inside her tail. The group looked at her stoically, yet sadly they were not surprised. “When I used to get owwies in my tummy from eating too much candy, I would eat these pills to feel better!” Pinkie threw a pill to each of her campaign staff. Every creature looked at the large blue capsule with a common terror. Pinkie smiled as she left to get on stage.

“Wait Pinkie!” Applebloom said.

“Yeah Applebloom?” Pinkie responded.

“You ate a lot of sweets too,” the yellow filly said slowly. “Shouldn’t you eat a pill too?”

Pinkie laughed. “Oh you guys,” she chuckled. “No amount of yummy sweets hurts me anymore! Well wish me luck!” And with that the pink pony left leaving her staff to mull over eating the strange pill or waiting in agony.

Rainbow Dash’s Dressing Room

Meanwhile in Rainbow Dash’s dressing room the only pony about to collapse was Fluttershy. The tired pegasus yawned as she finished giving Dash all the grooming the blue pegasus could tolerate. Fluttershy had managed to get all the lint out of her friend’s mane, bathe her and get her to wear a tie. Rainbow Dash said she thought the tie was trying too hard, but Fluttershy convinced her that ties were cool.

“Did you finish my talking points Fluttershy?” Dash asked as she stared at herself in the mirror. Fluttershy eyes were red from depravation. She reached into her saddlebag and grabbed a sheet of highlighted topics for Dash to talk about. Rainbow Dash took the paper and gave her friend a sincere smile. “Thanks Fluttershy, really.”

The yellow pony managed to return Dash a serious glare that made the blue pegasus recoil. “After all the work I did Rainbow Dash you better win!” Fluttershy yelled breaking her usual quiet demeanor. Suddenly as if that shout took all her energy, Fluttershy fell to the ground fast asleep. Rainbow Dash lifted Fluttershy up and placed her on a nearby couch. As Dash walked away she glanced back at her exhausted ally.

“Don’t worry Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said with pride. “I won’t let you down!” The pegasus took off flying toward the stage.

Twilight’s Dressing Room

“I look silly,” Twilight sobbed.

“Nonsense dear,” Rarity countered. “Why you look truly like mayor material!”

“Yeah Twilight,” Applejack cut in. “I admit it is a little much, but as long as you believe in yourself you’ll do fine!”

Twilight realized she could no longer depend on Applejack for sound fashion advice. The farm pony was now wearing the bigger cowboy hat over her smaller hat to make it look even bigger. Rarity had said the idea was “truly fetch” whatever that meant. Now all dressed up from head to hoof in weird clothing Twilight only hoped she could remain focused on what really mattered in this election. Getting her sweet revenge on Rainbow Dash.

“Well,” Twilight moaned. “I guess it’s now or never.” The purple mare walked clumsily out the door as Rarity and Applejack left to take their seats.

MAIN ROOM OF TOWN HALL: THE DEBATE 8:30

Applejack and Rarity strolled into the large yet somehow crowded meeting hall looking for a place to sit. There didn’t seem to be anywhere they could go. That was when the pair heard a familiar voice call to them.

“Oh hello Applejack, Rarity,” said the unknown voice. Applejack and Rarity turned to see that the voice belonged to none other than Princess Celestia. Both ponies gave a quick bow.

“What’re you doin here princess?” Applejack asked.

“Well when I heard Twilight was running for mayor I decided to come check it out for myself,” Celestia answered. “I’m so proud of her for showing such leadership. Anyway here you go” Celestia’s horn flashed as two new seats appeared in the front row. Applejack and Rarity both thanked Celestia for the chairs as they each took a seat. Celestia took a seat next to the pair. “Though I also heard some of your other friends are also running for mayor.”

“Oh yes,” Rarity responded cheerfully. “Twilight’s running against Pinkie Pie and Rainb-”

Suddenly a huge rainbow explosion enveloped the stage. A storm of confetti flew over the audience. Most of the ponies began to cheer as the smoke cleared revealing Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus descended to her podium and waved at the excited crowd. Rarity looked mortified at the confetti scattered in her mane. Celestia laughed shaking off some of the confetti. “Well this is going to be fun,” the princess chuckled.

Pinkie Pie bounced to her podium to the right of Rainbow Dash. She also waved at the crowd. Every foal and filly began to cheer for Pinkie wildly. Among the youth of Ponyville Pinkie was their only hope at having a voice in the town. The entire school was in attendance that night and everypony under the legal voting age was cheering for Pinkie.

Lastly Twilight walked on the stage. The crowd murmured and stared in confusion at her outfit. Rainbow Dash was wearing a modest tie and Pinkie Pie was naked as usual. But then here was Twilight, totally overdressed. She was wearing a lavish blue dress Rarity had bought for her with a pair of matching high heels. Twilight wasn’t used to wearing the weird shoes and almost tripped trying to get to her podium. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but laugh at Twilight’s plight as did some of the crowd. Twilight did her best not to blush as teleported to the podium to avoid any further mishaps.

Celestia got up and flew over to the stage. “Greetings everypony.” The crowd all fell to the ground bowing.
Twilight was confused. “Princess Celestia,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

“Well Twilight,” Celestia answered. “I wanted to see your election and if you don’t mind can I announce this debate?”

Twilight looked perplexed. As if she would ever say no to anything the princess would ask of her! “Of course you can announce the debate Princess,” Twilight answered.

Celestia smiled as if this was some fantasy of hers. “Alright citizens,” she said. “Now we’re going to begin the debate!” Stomps of approval echoed through the room. A mix of cheers and yells deafened the hall for a few minutes as Celestia magically floated a stack of papers in front of her. “Ehem.” The room grew silent. “The first question is for you Rainbow Dash.” The blue pegasus grew psyched. Now was her time to shine. “How do you plan to improve the economic output of Ponyville?”

Rainbow Dash looked confused. Eco-what? She thought to herself. “Um I plan to…,” Dash stared around aimlessly. Twilight was giving her a cocky smile while Pinkie was still waving to her fans. Come on, Dash thought. You need to say something! “I would totally like…” Suddenly Rainbow Dash remembered why she started this campaign in the first place.

The rules, the rules had to die. “Ehem,” Dash went clearing her throat. “Sorry about that everypony. Now where was I? Oh right! When I’m elected mayor, I’m gonna get rid of all rules that slow down travel in Ponyville. With nothing to slow us down, everypony can do their jobs faster and thus… uh… improve economically.” Rainbow Dash made a guilty smile. She was worried that she blew it, but the thunderous applause of the crowd quickly changed her mind.

“Excuse me Princess Celestia,” Twilight asked.

“Yes Twilight,” Celestia answered.

“I would like to rebut Rainbow Dash,” the purple mare said proudly.

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight with a mix of surprise and fear. “WOOAH Twilight. I know your scared, but how is messing with my butt gonna help you?!”

“Yeah Twilight!” Pinkie jumped in. “Rainbow’s butt is fine! At least I think it is.” Pinkie took a gander down at Rainbow’s posterior. The crowd began to laugh uproariously. However, Rainbow Dash grew annoyed by Pinkie’s conduct and flew into the air.

“Stop checking out my butt Pinkie!”

“But I was seeing if Twilight needed to replace it!” The pink pony cried.

Twilight facehoofed….hard. “No no no guys. I’m not trying to give Rainbow Dash a new butt! I want to challenge the answer she gave!”

Celestia chuckled. “Oh my Twilight. Why didn’t you just say so?”

Twilight suppressed her rage. Hadn’t anypony else read the debate guidebook?! Twilight let out a sigh. “Ok so Rainbow Dash, even if you cut all the travel rules you can’t prove Ponyville will improve economically. In fact I think things will grow worse due all the accidents and injuries that might happen due to ponies speeding around town.” The crowd solemnly nodded their heads in agreement with Twilight. What the purple unicorn lacked in charisma, she made up for in brutal honesty.

“Oh oh oh,” Pinkie said raising her hand wildly. “I wanna rebut Twilight’s rebut!”

“Pinkie you can’t rebut a rebuttal,” Twilight responded.

“But that’s not fair!” Pinkie shouted at her opponent.

“Yeah Twilight,” Rainbow chuckled. “Since when do you get to make the rules!” Rainbow Dash pointed an accusatory hoof at Twilight. The crowd ate it up and started to roar in approval.

Twilight magically teleported her debate guidebook to the stage. “As it clearly states on page 320 of Equestrian Debate Etiquette, you cannot rebut a rebuttal.” Twilight triumphantly shut the old tome. Pinkie was on still making puppy dog eyes at the purple mare. The crowd also seemed to disapprove of Twilight’s cruel conduct. The hall had grown silent.

“Come on Twilight,” Celestia asked. “Can’t we just skip that rule this time?”

Twilight pouted before causing the book to vanish. “Fine.”

“Awesome!” Pinkie yelled as she bounced at her podium. “Then when I’m mayor, I’ll make a new rule that every week the whole town has a big party! Parties will make everypony happy! And happy ponies work better than bored ponies!” Loud roars were heard from the crowd. Pinkie’s plan may have been simple, but her passion was real.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie how are we going to afford a party every week?”

Pinkie looked at Twilight in disbelief. “Oh Twilight there’s always money for a party.”

“Of course we’ll need to break a few rules though,” Rainbow Dash laughed.

Twilight let out a sigh. “You guys money doesn’t grow on trees. You can’t just spend it all without thinking.” Twilight shot her campaign staff an angry glare. Rarity and Applejack both started whistling trying to avoid her gaze.

“Well Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said coolly. “I find it hard to trust a pony whose magic caused parasprites to eat half the town last year.” Murmurs erupted throughout the audience. Twilight grew panicked. So Dash was going to sling mud now? In the middle of a debate? Twilight wouldn’t take it anymore.

“That’s big talk Dash,” Twilight answered. “Coming from a pony who robbed a hospital!” Gasps of shock were heard all over the room. Rainbow Dash tensed up and went on the defensive.

“Those charges were never even filed!” The pegasus cried. Rainbow Dash turned to the sea of angry faces. “Umm uh, well….oh I know! Tell them what I tried to steal Twilight!”

The purple mare clenched her teeth. All in all, robbing a hospital sounds a lot more sinister when the stolen property wasn’t a cheap book. “Regardless of what you tried to take, stealing is still stealing Rainbow,” Twilight said proudly.

“Yeah yeah,” Dash answered. “But let’s not forget when you went nuts and cast that Want it Need it spell on the town!” The audience was murmur central. Once again Rainbow Dash had turned the tables on Twilight. The purple mare struggled to find more mud to sling. Rainbow Dash looked at her triumphantly. Twilight wanted to punch her.

“Well you um,” Twilight began.

“Led a group of pegasi to transport much needed water to Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Yes I did that.”

Shouts of approval were heard as Dash stole Twilight’s thunder. The unicorn looked to Celestia in hopes that she would restore some level of order to the debate. However the princess was giggling at the current display. Clearly this debate would be decided by who won over the crowd.

“Let’s not forget who also won the Young Flyer’s competition and saved both Rarity and the Wonderbolts,” Rainbow Dash gloated. The crowd was cheering wildly for Dash. It seemed there was no hope for Twilight to recapture their attention. Then suddenly another pony did it for her.

“What about when I led the whole town to smile smile smile!” Pinkie said proudly. “We all had a lot of fun that day!”

“Pinkie that doesn’t count,” Rainbow Dash shot back.

“Why not?” Pinkie whined. “Besides why should anypony trust you? You ate part of my Marzipan Morang Madness cake after I told you not to!”

“That was like one bite!” Rainbow Dash growled.

Twilight had a sudden epiphany. This may have been her one chance to steal Dash’s favor with the crowd. “Well Dash what about the time you traded Ponyville’s future to get your wings back from Discord!” The crowd again was ablaze with gasps.

“Low blow Twilight,” Rainbow Dash groaned. Suddenly the pegasus smiled. “At least I didn’t force Pinkie and Spike to break into Canterlot in order to stop time!” Twilight started to sweat. Rainbow Dash was slinging mud like a champ.

Pinkie grew annoyed. “Hay I told you to keep that secret Dash!”

Rainbow Dash then grew bold. “Well I think the citizens of Ponyville deserve to know that two of the ponies running for mayor are criminal nutballs!”

Twilight and Pinkie both scowled at Rainbow Dash, but it was pointless. The crowd was stomping and cheering for Dash. There was no way to quash that enthusiasm. The debate was over and Rainbow Dash had won.

Comments

[RarityFigma]

I got really distracted from this fic, I'm totally sorry and plan to finish it up soon!

[Blackbelt]

/popcorn

Political mudslinging is FUN.

[OmniFox]

Now that I think about it, Spike's a dragon and i don't think there's a rule that a dragon can't run for Mayor of Ponyville.

[ShadowLDrago]

“Yeah yeah,” Dash answered. “But let’s not forget when you went nuts and cast that Want it Need it spell on the town!” The audience was murmur central. Once again Rainbow Dash had turned the tables on Twilight. The purple mare struggled to find more mud to sling. Rainbow Dash looked at her triumphantly. Twilight wanted to punch her.

Ah, this is in Season 2.

“Why not?” Pinkie whined. “Besides why should anypony trust you? You ate part of my Marzipan Morang Madness cake after I told you not to!”

Never mind, this is mid season three, after MMMMystery on the Friendship Express.

Twilight had a sudden epiphany. This may have been her one chance to steal Dash’s favor with the crowd. “Well Dash what about the time you traded Ponyville’s future to get your wings back from Discord!” The crowd again was ablaze with gasps.

TWILIGHT! That's uncalled for! She was being brainwashed by Discord, you broke as well, not to mention he was forcing her into a sadistic choice, she was dooming the world either way.