• Published 15th May 2012
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The Equestrian School of Hackercraft and Villainy - benxlabs

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Chapter 2: Lesson Plans

Chapter 2: Lesson Plans

An ominous silence descended upon the crowd. No one dared say another word, for fear of retribution. Nelio Maximillius, satisfied with the silence, continued. “As I was saying, this place will be in your new home. You will sleep here, eat here, and take all your classes here. Oh yes, did I mention that you are forbidden from leaving this place ever again until you reach your senior year, when you will be assigned missions?”

Once again, the students broke out into chatter. Quite a few more ponies dropped to the floor. Akihiro smirked. This headmaster was not your everyday buffoon. Utilizing fear to enforce order upon an unruly crowd. These ponies would soon learn obedience. Such was the nature of all organic beings. It was the “action-and-consequence” effect after all. Such stupidity. To resist was to die, so he would lie low for now. To escape from this place designed against such actions would take time and planning.

“Psst. Hey nerd boy!” Peach nudged Akihiro. “What da ya’ think about this kooky old guy?”

“I would be much obliged if you would forgo your tendency of addressing me with such insolent terms. To answer your question, I believe he isn’t as lacking in IQ as some other ponies I know.” replied Akihiro coldly.

“Gee, mate! You ain’t half bad as I thought you were!”

He could only sigh and mentally slap himself. Was this mare for real? Akihiro decided he would have to communicate with her using only inferior words.

Now, Iron Hoof had decided to join in the conversation.

“Keep it down, you guys. Didn’t you see what happened to those other guys?”

Akihiro scowled. The brute had a point. His mission was to attract as little attention as possible. Therefore, talk and motion should be reduced to a minimum.

Unbeknownst to them, they had already attracted the attention of their enemies. Nelio Maximilian took a step back, and asked the shadows: “Who are those three whispering over there?” A mare lept out of the shadows, clad in a jet black jumpsuit. When she spoke, it was as if she could breath ice. Her tone was colder than Akihiro’s. “The small one is Akihiro Takahashi, foal genius, and master hacker. The mare is Peach Blossom, pickpocket, thief, and cat burglar. The brawny looking stallion is Iron Hoof, skilled in many martial arts, and possessing enormous strength.”

Nelio smiled. Looks like we hit the jackpot this year. He said: “Thank you. Dismissed.” The mare simply saluted and jumped back into the shadows. Nelio sighed. I really need to hire some warmer personnel. That being said, she was the best in her line of work. It was hard to find talented assassins like her. He decided he would closely observe the actions of the three. Stepping back up to the podium, Nelio, or Dr. Maximilian as the students would now call him, resumed his speech.

[Warning: Long and Boring Speech Imminent]

“Once again, I would like to welcome you to the Equestrian School of Hackercraft and Villainy, one of the top schools for education in the villainous arts. You have been called here to fulfill your duty as the criminals of tomorrow. Many of you have already started on that career, and I applaud you for that. However, being enrolled in this school is a completely different experience than lone operation like many of you are used to. Here, you will hone your skills along with your peers, and learn how to truly become masterminds.

Despite being villains and criminals ourselves, we have a set of rules that all students must follow for the duration of their enrollment. First, as I have already mentioned, no student may leave the campus for any reasons, personal or otherwise, unless given explicit permission by myself or other staff. Second, while enrolled, students are not to engage in physical violence outside of fitness classes. Third, stealing is forbidden outside of stealth classes. Fourth, curfew is strictly enforced, and all violators will be severely punished. If you would like a complete set of rules and regulations for your reading enjoyment, please contact an administrator after the presentation is over.

Here at the Equestrian School of Hackercraft and Villainy, there are an assortment of classes that you may enroll in. However, each course requires a passing score on an entrance exam, determined by the educators. Should you fail to enroll in any classes by the beginning of the semester in one week, you will be immediately executed. There will be no excuses, no complaints, and absolutely no mercy regarding the matter. We consider tardiness a very serious crime around here. It may seem harsh, but it is to simulate the cruel reality and life of a mastermind. A true villain faces death every day, but strives to reach his or her goals using any method conceivable.

Evil is only a concept. An opinion, really. There is no set “good” or “evil” in any given situation. Therefore, we believe that at the Equestrian School of Hackercraft and Villainy, we teach age-old values while promoting the use of technology to forward one’s own life.”

Nelio stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and gazed around. Instead of bright, cheerful, motivated, inspired faces, all he saw was a sea of sleeping ponies. He twitched in irritation, but then he noticed that the trio he was observing earlier was still awake. They were still quite lively, in fact. But it was probably their fear of death more than anything that kept them awake. He sighed. This happened every year. He should have gotten used to it by now, but for some reason, the fact that those three were still awake made him more irked at the other ponies. Looks like there will be a couple more dropping dead today... Nelio smirked to himself.

Soon after the speech ended, and after the sound of several ponies dropping to the ground woke up the other ponies, Nelio said: “You will now be assigned dorms. The seniors will arrive shortly to show you around the school. But first, you must all be assigned school uniforms. Please follow the school counselor Syke Uni to the fitting rooms.


Syke Uni happened to be a tall but skinny unicorn. She wore a long, black trenchcoat that simply reinforced her already threatening stature. Her eyes glared daggers, piercing all in their path. Upon closer inspection, one could realize she was probably already in her 60’s, judging from the white streaks in her hair and the slight wrinkles around her eyes. Akihiro smiled. There were certainly some interesting people working at this school.

As they continued toward the fitting room, a pony asked a question. “Why is an old mare like you employed at this school? Shouldn’t they hire younger ponies that don’t get heart attacks every five seconds?” The other ponies around him gasped and backed away. Skye slowly turned around, and a brief burst of magic emanated from her horn. The insolent pony immediately turned pale, and said: “I apologize for my insolence, counselor. I understand you were employed here for your experience and knowledge in the field of psychology.”

Upon seeing this, Peach nudged Akihiro.

“Psst. Egghead. Did you feel that? When she cast that weird spell, I mean.”

Akihiro nodded. “That spell was not composed of contemporary magic. A genetic mutation perhaps?”

Perhaps this farmer was not as ignorant as she first appeared. She was able to notice the subtle difference at the point of magic release that signalled a difference in magic type and power. But it is possible that those who possess the ability to wield magic themselves can sense such things easier. From the resulting actions, it would appear that the spell cast was one that disrupted the flow of information between neurons in the frontal lobes, causing momentary termination of free thought. The spell then seemed to create an artificial impulse, forcing one mandatory thought upon the brain, causing effective mind control, as well as thought suggestion.

“If yer done daydreamin’, the line has moved on without ya’!” called Peach Blossom.

Akihiro looked up. Indeed, he was starting to lag behind. No matter. He would observe what happened to those in front, and therefore buy himself more time to think.

The group approached a door, labeled “Uniform Distribution Center”. They had finally reached their destination. As the counselor approached, a small camera dropped down from the ceiling and scanned her retina. It chimed and blurted out in it’s mechanical tone: “Identity Affirmation Successful. User Syke Uni.” The door slid open, and the group entered. The inside of the room looked like a technologically advanced potty room. Thousands upon thousands of porta-potty looking things were scattered around the chamber. Syke turned around and said: “Welcome to the uniform distribution center. Please pick a pod and enter. You will be instructed by an AI, so do not panic.

Akihiro watched as a mob of excited ponies poured into the pods, all eager to explore. He was reluctant to enter himself, however. The possibility of the chamber not being what the counselor said it was was very high. For all he knew, it could be a gene-restructuring chamber, designed to manufacture clones or maybe even create biological weapons. Perhaps it was a neural domination device, designed to control one’s mind? Or perhaps it was just a toilet after all? Many theories were possible, but none of them were appealing. Well, besides the toilet theory. Besides, nature was calling.

After about five minutes of deliberation, he decided he could no longer satiate his curiosity. He picked a pod in one of the far corners and pushed open the door.


So what did you think? This is my first chapter since coming back from my vacation. Feedback would be appreciated, since I might be getting a little rusty. Also, read my other story! (Achievement: A Daily Dose of Shameless Self Promotion!)

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