Obama Returns to Equestria

by a human

Obama's Revelation

The moon was keeping him alive. That was the only conclusion Obama could reach.

He couldn't quite tell how much time it'd been, but it had been years, that much was clear. And in that whole time, he had never needed food or water. He wasn't immortal, not by any means—cuts and scrapes healed, but not much faster than they would in any human.

And he didn't appear to be aging, but without a mirror, it was hard to tell.

He thought Celestia was kidding when she said she was banishing him "to the moon, beeyotch," but she was indeed completely serious. He was on the fucking moon.

It was even more drab than he expected. There was a giant hole blown out of it, which initially seemed sort of interesting, but then Obama realized that from the surface, it was just a giant, smooth valley, and thus even more boring than everything else. The rest of the planetoid, with all its rocks and craters, was far better. There even seemed to be some signs that someone else was here before him.

Like all those broken rocks covered in dry, crusted something.

Obama tried not to think about those too deeply.

He had a nice view of the planet below. He had expected it to be nice and green and happy, and was surprised to see that most of the planet was a lifeless wasteland. Demented, fast-moving yellow clouds covered most of it. Underneath them, Obama could occasionally make out landmasses. When he pieced it together, he realized the planet's layout was disturbingly like Earth's—or at least, it used to be.

The only exception was a glowing dome that occupied a little less than a third of the planet. At first, Obama wasn't quite sure what it was, but then he noticed that it was usually covered in a pattern that resembled clouds, and at random times, would turn dark and be covered with spots of light.

That was Equestria. It was Equestria's "sky."

Celestia had destroyed a world… and made a fishbowl to experiment with life in.

He had begun to doubt himself after he saw the results of his attempt to kill her. But that made him sure.

She couldn't be forgiven.

She had to die.

But there was nothing he could do from up here.

For now.

If he was being kept alive up here, that could mean only one thing—Celestia was planning on visiting him or bringing him back to her country at some point. If she wanted to kill him, she could have just done that immediately.

And when she did… he would strike.

Somehow.

He thought about how he would get his revenge constantly, and was beginning to gain an appreciation for her strength. If she had destroyed an entire planet, sent him to the moon, and could keep him alive indefinitely just to toy with him, she was incredibly powerful. And if everything Twilight and her friends tried on her didn't work, she probably was genuinely immortal.

It was clear he was going to need a different line of attack, but it seemed hopeless.

…at least until that day.

On a whim, he decided to look around on the dark side of the moon, finally beyond caring about getting lost in pitch black nothingness.

After walking for a while, though, it was clear that was the least of his problems.

Because the back of the moon wasn't pitch black.

The further he walked, the more of it he could see. It looked like an ocean, and for the first time, his plans were beginning to look practical.

For surrounding him were blue, glowing letters.

ACT I END

Comments

[a human]

7375392
I... can't either lol. I've actually thought of calling the series something other than "the Obamaverse," simply because Obama plays a fairly minor role in everything. I haven't been able to think of anything good, though :p

[iamthemithras]

This is a surprise. What's Obama doing in this story?

... What? He's been in the story all this time?

[Devantejah]

He's back!

[a human]

7383265
Yeah! Obama's appearances are timed to be as irritating as possible :p

7382239

The moon is hurling down towards the planet.

Is that a reference to that one Zelda game I've never played since I never had a Nintendo 64? :p

The thousand that read There is No Luna should have checked out this series-spanning novel you're working on. Speaking of novels, have you got one published? You would really make it big IMHO

I have not been professionally published. I am considering trying to write a real novel after this, though.

To be honest, I actually prefer working in other mediums. Or at least self publishing in some capacity. I feel like if I broke into the professional publishing industry, the first thing that would happen is that I would get an editor and they would be all like, "Okay, you have potential, but we have to make everything less weird…" :p

[Devantejah]

7384213

Oh, I don't think it was irritating, in fact, I was wondering when he would make a return.

I have a N64, and a Zelda game. I think it's Ocarina of time. So, when are you coming over?

"but we have to make everything less weird…"

NO!