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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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please stop with this type of chapter
541138 can you be more vague? I personally thought that this chapter well executed.
Please make more.
this is a good read!
wow jaze is going to be 'that guy' everypony!
To say that I hate this chapter would be an understatement. The story is decent thus far, but this chapter was just atrocious. Trixie was quite OC a fair bit. I can see her wanting to change a bit in order to regain some lost respect. But her coming to tears so often and so easily apologizing was just absurd. She is still prideful and would not submit that easily.
Then there is the fact that Jaze keeps saying "everypony", "anypony", "somepony", etc. Like ffs. He has been saying "anyone", "everyone", "someone", etc, for his entire life. He wouldn't be switching terms so quickly. And what about the gashes across his chest? They cleaned them sure but that wouldn't stop the bleeding. He should have been near collapsing due to the loss of blood. Yet he barely makes any further mention of it. And of course; his reaction to losing his eye sight. That isn't something that someone would just go "oh I can't see atm". Soldier or not he would be quite shocked at first. Sure he said it was a "terrifying experience". But his reaction sure as hell didn't show it.
This chapter was littered with shoddy writing. I expected better from the writer tbh. Hopefully the rest are better than...whatever this was.
Oh and that letter to Celestia? That was just silly. Leave that type of thing to the show mate.
that part made me laugh so hard
Can I get annoyed for her blaming Trixie for that? Cause if that's the case then everyone should be mad at her, celestia, rainbow, apple jack and a couple of others(a lot of others) for putting ideas in people's heads.