New Opportunities

by shenadri

And plotlitics... I mean politics... maybe?

"AND YOU VOTED FOR THIS," The purple librarian yelled, making Celestia and Luna wince.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Luna trailed off, gaining a glare from her older sister. Celestia, after a while, simply came closer to her disgruntled fellow alicorn, and, putting one foreleg on her withers, proceeded to calm her down.

"Twilight, we are concerned about the changelings, all of us truly are, and the nobles and all the other stuck up nobles want some retaliation for the crimes they committed, and that's why I approved the law, so the nobles couldn't put a hoof on the changelings" Celestia tried to placate her irate student.

"I understand, really, but why you couldn't wait for me to be aware of this situation?" Twilight grumbles, turning her neck and locking eyes with her mentor.

"Sorry, princess Twilight" one of the other changelings in the meeting, Cayo, if Twilight was remembering correctly, said, "but after our arrival, we were trying to help when one of the nobles, Prince Blueblood, I think he was called, was beginning to organize all the nobles to try and 'evict the evil little abyss dwellers from our fair city' or something like that" he said, even getting the falsetto voice of the pompous prince, "so we need to stay low, or to be integrated into your society"

"Ok, let's see this logically," Twilight began, "on one hoof, the entire race of changelings, or at least the ones that want a pacific solution, need to be under my protection, meaning that I am bound by the law to protect them," all the heads on the table nodded, "the other option is to leave things like they currently are, meaning that, sometime in the future, the changelings would be attacked due to a misconception or out of spite." Again, all the ponies gathered nodded.

"Ok, I will do it," Twilight said after a while, "But it will be on my terms, no blackmailing me into the situation at hoof."

"First of all, I will be moving the changelings back to Ponyville, and even there, I'll be reclaiming the lands on the Everfree as our new land, those are forgotten by the crown, and it would be nice to put those lands in use." When Princess Celestia nodded, Twilight continued, "Secondly, this would be like the Crystal Empire, we would be a protectorate under the crown, meaning that we would get some financial aid, and some help to start, then we should get any possible advantage or trade on the land bestowed to us, right?"

"Actually," Cayo said, gaining the attention of all the royals, "we changelings could provide a very useful service for you ponies." When all the eyes at the table were on him, he continued, "thing is, us changelings are renowed potion brewers, rivaling with the zebras, also we have one natural advantage" he afterwards proceded to spit a green goo on his forefoof, "this is called salve, we can produce it naturally, it is absolutely aseptic, also it is used to improve the healing or the restoration of tissue when we get wounded, we can engineer it to change its properties on the go, even we can make it so it can be used to avoid decomposition on perishable aliments.

All the royals at the table were flabbergasted, Twilight was taking notes, Celestia and Luna were a little skeptical on the matter, Cadance's face was green and Shinning Armor was scrunching his own muzzle in distaste.

"Well, first of all we are going to make this work, Cayo," Twilight finally said after an awkward silence. "Anyhow, I will help our own people to understand the changelings and, more importantly, to accept you guys as fellow equestrians."

"So..." Crysalis began, eyes full of hope.

"Yes, I am going to be your Queen-princess, but we will do it our own way, OK?" Twilight says with finalty, also putting one hoof over the queen's withers

"We are now allies, Chrysalis." the alicorn of frienship said, extending her wings and embracing the changeling queen in a friendly hug.

Author's Note:

sorry for the short chapter, I am working in two jobs now to maintain my lifestyle, also, I think I can't finish my studies, so please be patient with me for now

Comments

[Guner]

Cadence was green on her face and Shinning Armor was scrunching his own muzzle on distaste.

in distaste
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/70/8f/c5/708fc59f3cdfb8542581f79fbd4994a2.jpg

[Night Star the Scholar]

YES!!!

There is still LIFE!!

[shenadri]

7293586 pretty much

7293606 I am so sorry about this, but RL is a bitch with me lately

[Raibolt]

Very nice to see you're still alive ^_^ suggestion though... I'm sure one of your readers' be pleased to edit and proof-read your work. It's kind of hard to understand it sometimes. Still a good story though

[FinalFan]

It's nice to see this is still alive.

Nitpicks noticed:

"AND YOU VOTED THIS,"

AND YOU VOTED FOR THIS or AND YOU VOTED THIS INTO LAW

Luna trailed off, gaining a glare from her older sister, Celestia, after a while, simply came closer to her disgruntled fellow alicorn, and putting one foreleg on her withers, proceeded to calm her down.

1. The first half of the sentence seems to wander a little and become a run-on sentence. I think it would work a lot better if it was broken into two sentences with a period after "sister".

2. The phrase "putting one foreleg on her withers" is what's known as a "parenthetical phrase". You can imagine it being set aside in parentheses (like this) as a little comment aside from the main point of the sentence. A parenthetical phrase can either have commas around it or not; either way is fine, but it cannot have only one comma unless it's there for a different grammatical reason. Long story short, either add a comma after "and" or delete the one after "withers". If you think having two commas close to "and" is too awkward, the one before it is optional also (can be kept or removed at your discretion). Alternatively, you could move "putting ... withers" to the end of the sentence: "... alicorn, and proceeded to calm her down, putting one foreleg on her withers."

all of us trully are

truly

crimes commited by them

committed
(Also, for my money "by them" is awkward and would be better as "crimes they committed".)

"Sorry princess Twilight" one of the other changeling's in the meeting

"Sorry, Princess Twilight," (caps and comma)
changelings (no apostrophe)

prince blueblood I think he was called, was beggining

Prince Blueblood
beginning

need to be under my protection, meaning that I am bind by the law,

bound (not bind)
bound by the law to what? To protect them? It seems the logical conclusion, but it doesn't seem right to leave it unstated.

due to a missconception or based on despite" again all the ponies gathered nodded.

misconception
"based on spite" or "out of spite"
"due to a misconception or out of spite." Again, all the ponies gathered nodded.

no backmailing me into the situation at hoof"

blackmailing
hoof." (period)

ill be reclaiming

I'll (caps and apostrophe)

in use," when Princess Celestia nodded, Twilight continues,

in use." When Princess Celestia nodded, Twilight continued,
(period to break into two sentences; past tense because narration)

useful service for you ponies" when all the eyes on the table were on him

ponies." When
(Also, I would say "at the table", but your vernacular could conceivably be as you wrote it ...? Just say it to yourself and see if it sounds right: "Everyone at the table decided to get lunch" vs. "Everyone on the table decided to get lunch" Let me know the result!)

zebras, also we have one natural advantage" he afterwards proceded to spit a green goo on his hooves, "this, is called salve, we can produce it naturally, it is absolutely aseptic, also it is used to improve the healing or the restoration of tissue when we get wounded, we can engineer it to change its properties on the go, even we can make it so it can hold aliments without deterioration or descomposition.

zebras. Also, we have one natural advantage." He spat (or "spit", different people use a different past tense) a green goo on his hooves (on more than one hoof? Is he now balancing on his hind legs?). "This (no comma) is called salve. We can produce it naturally, it is absolutely aseptic, and it is used to improve the healing or the restoration of tissue when we get wounded. We can engineer it to change its properties on the go, and we can even (not "even we can") ...
aliments?? ailments? (but how does that make sense?) elements? not sure what word you intend here
decomposition

All the royals on the table

on/at the table (see previous)

a little skeptic on the matter, Cadence was green on her face and Shinning Armor was scrunching his own muzzle on distaste.

skeptical
("Cadence was green on her face" sounds wrong to me. How does "green in the face" sound to you? Or maybe "Cadance's face was green")
Shining
muzzle in distaste (not "on")

"Well, first of all we are going to make this work, Cayo," Twilight finally says after an awkward silence, "anyhow, I will help our own people to understand the changelings and more importantly, to accept you guys as part of the equestrians."

said (not "says")
silence. "Anyhow
and, more importantly, (parenthetical phrase: two commas or none)
"as part of Equestria." or "as Equestrians." or "as fellow Equestrians."

eyes full of hope

needs a period.

our own way, ok?" Twilight says with finalty, also putting one hoof over the queen's withers

I believe it should be either "OK" or "okay", not "ok".
finality
withers. (period)
(I would personally prefer to delete "also" but it's up to you)

"We are now allies Crysalis." the alicorn of frienship says, extending her wings and embracing the changeling queen on a friendly hug.

allies, Chrysalis." (comma, spelling)
friendship said (spelling, past tense)
queen in a (not "on")

[shenadri]

7296884 All typos corrected, man, thanks a bunch for helping me out without being an ass while doing it, really

[FinalFan]

7297811 Oh, so "aliments" was just a word I didn't know? (I looked it up after you didn't change it.)
coloradopeakpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/more-you-know.jpg
(For other people reading this, it's food or nourishment.)

[Razzy]

Healing goo!

Leave it to Blueblood to be a jerk.

[Texus]

new chapter please

[shenadri]

7639643 sure, im working on it

[shenadri]

7720527 hope you like it so far