• Published 18th Dec 2014
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The Conversion Bureau: Joker's Revenge - Convair



Batman was converted in a PER attack and the Joker wants revenge. After all, who are the ponies to ruin his fun?

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Intro (Updated 6/26/17)

Gotham.

A place once revered for its prestige and accomplishments.

Once the shining star of what mankind could achieve, and now the fallen example of what could happen when 30 million people are left to rot together.

This city, one that had been crumbling around its citizens since innumerable gangs and criminal avenues had muscled their way into existence, had one hope left before it fell into anarchy; The Batman.

No one knew who he was, where he hailed from or why he chose to risk his life apprehending the criminals that plagued Gotham, but those he protected were content to remain ignorant so long as he kept the evil at bay.

Due to his unwavering vigilance, there were countless criminals, gangs and syndicates either locked up in the city’s prisons or run out of business. This led to some areas returning to the people, criminals far too fearful to roam those sections, especially once darkness transformed them into the Bat’s realm.

Unfortunately, due to such a successful campaign of justice a small coalition of criminals had become obscenely rich from the lack of competition, and had thus grown powerful enough to keep the Bat at bay for a time. But this time was quickly running out.

Plans had been in the works for months using marked bills, political games and a myriad of other tactics on both sides as they prepared for the eventual endgame of both factions, with the Batman seen by both sides as a wildcard; neither a villain, nor a pure hero.

Everything had changed when they arrived.

Ponies, of all shapes, sizes and indeed species had emerged from the relatively small island that had appeared out of nowhere in the Atlantic.

At first, they had wanted nothing to do with humans, so long as they stayed away from their island and out of the skies above.

Soon, though, their leader made public visits to various countries before attending meetings with the UN. The same being who, even after presented with sound scientific proof, continued to preach to her subjects and the world that she and her sister still held control over the Sun and Moon.

The phrase ‘delusional, or a hoax?’ and its variants appeared on many news stations and papers before she next made an appearance.

She came out of her final meeting with the United Nations looking as arrogant as ever, looking down upon the humans she ‘towered’ over by about an inch, before making her announcement.

Even though much time had been spent by the assembled delegates to convince her otherwise, the one and only Princess Celestia had strut out of the UN building having deemed the way that humans ‘suffered’ in cities due to crime, were crippled by dangerous work, accidents and birth defects or were outright rejected by society to be too horrible to let continue.

After a ridiculous amount of gold was transferred to cover the expenses, she had her so called ‘Conversion Bureaus’ opened all across the world, inviting those who wished for a new life to give up their humanity to become a pony, one who would live happily ever after in Equestria.

After the initial rush of the dying, disabled and social rejects, there were few humans who would willingly give up their bodies for another. Exceptions included environmentalists, PETA and their ilk who had already believed humanity to be evil, and didn’t even need to be asked to change themselves into a pony as soon as the Bureau doors opened.

After perhaps a little over 300 million people worldwide, with many coming from either poor or dangerous countries as well as those from developed nations, had been converted, the flow of humans into Bureaus slowed to a trickle, then to a slow drip until the Bureaus sat empty, awaiting humans who would never arrive.

It was at this point that a small group came into existence, a terrorist organization that called themselves the Ponies for Earth’s Rebirth, or the PER. Their primary mandate was to convert all of humanity into their version of a perfect being: the pony, whether they wanted to or not.

They stayed relatively unknown until, after months of equestrian-sanctioned planning, several of their operatives walked into heavily populated areas and did their best impressions of a suicide bomber with gas bombs containing an airborne version of the ponification potion.

These populated areas included the crowded streets of New York, London, Shanghai, Moscow, Berlin, Seoul, Paris, and Sydney. Though there were attacks in other cities as well, these specific potion bombings caused hundreds of thousands of forced conversions alone.

While most ended up having to go to their local Bureaus to learn how to use their new bodies and how they would resume their lives after they had adjusted to their forced changes, there were some who were so infuriated by the loss of their humanity that they formed a counter to the PER. They named their group the Human Liberation Front, on account of their desire for the Equestrians to reverse the effects of the potion that was forced onto the many thousands affected, which would ‘liberate’ them of their new equine prisons.

After the Equestrians had refused to revert the converted humans back to their ‘inferior forms’ they went from wanting to give humanity back to the PER’s victims to wanting to make the PER repay them in blood.

Along with a nearly unlimited supply of humans who were now just as hating of ponies as they, the HLF began attacks of their own, killing those they found responsible for the potion bombings along with any other ponies they could find, though only native equestrians if they could help it.

In response to the violent reaction to the forced conversion of so many, Princess Celestia began to openly support the PER, supplying them with potion and funding them with equipment and personnel.

Not particularly liking the idea of another state-funded terrorist organization, many world governments chose to act rather that wait for the PER to claim more victims. In an unprecedented cooperated assault, over a dozen major countries supplied troops and equipment for an invasion of Equestria, their far superior technology letting them steamroll over all resistance, at least until they reached Canterlot.

Once they reached the city upon the mountain, the Princess enacted her last-ditch plan to survive the onslaught: The Barrier. After activating the barrier around Canterlot, she began to slowly expand it, using it to force the humans off the island after the first few soldiers were vaporized by the glowing, pink dome.

After retreating to a safe distance, a standoff ensued. For many months, the ponies were kept quarantined inside of their shield on promises of nuclear annihilation, cut off from the rest of the world. For months, nothing changed, until at last a single Pegasus flew out of the barrier and sent a message to the humans surrounding them.

The message was simple; you leave us alone and we’ll do the same. And for almost a year this worked out fine, with ponies going to and from their island as they wished with human approval, and the humans stayed away from their island, leaving only a few dozen ships behind to guard the equines.

However, peace, as we know, is a fickle thing. It is, in a sense, like gravity: all it takes is a little push for it to come crashing down. This was what happened as the PER, their numbers bolstered by the attacks on the Equestrian homeland, once again resumed their regime of potion bombing populated areas. However, most of their victims now chose to stay in their homeland rather than go to the place their converters hailed from.

Nonetheless, one of the most devastating attacks on any city was the one that consumed Gotham city, with hundreds of potion bombs going off all around the city. In every district of Gotham, from the corporate headquarters of Wayne Enterprises to the slums, hundreds of thousands of people succumbed to the gas as it spread about the city.

It was one of the PER’s greatest victories and the HLF’s justification of the destruction of Equestrian facilities all around the world.

Out of all those unfortunate enough to be in an area that was affected in Gotham, the best known and most important to the city was Bruce Wayne, the billionaire son of those who had practically built the city with their company.

This had the additional effect of turning Batman, the savior of Gotham City into a black and midnight blue Pegasus. As much as this saddened those who knew who the Pegasus really was and had been his friend or practically family for years, there was one other who was enraged by the conversion of Gotham’s Dark Knight: The Joker.

Being the murderous lunatic that he was, he had been well into his scheme to turn Gotham city on itself. The ponification of Batman, however, had thrown a monkey wrench into the gears of his meticulously crafted plot, enraging him to the point where words could not accurately describe his insane fury.

Because of what a group of idiotic miniature horses had done, all his time and effort put towards his life’s goals was wasted. There was no way that Batman could continue his fight of the criminals in Gotham as a pony, as his disappearance obviously alluded to his being converted, and most of his equipment and tactics would not work for a quadruped.

There was also the issue of not being able to truly disguise himself like before as unlike with humans, almost every single pony had different colors or patterns, which would make finding the Batman far easier, almost comically so after all of the masked fighting he had done.

It was then, after thinking long and hard about what had happened, that the Joker realized that all was not lost, as even if he could no longer in good conscience fight Batman and that the first stage of his plan (which he had been about to enact) would have to be modified, he could in fact take his rage out and use at least part of his plan on the ones who had rendered his previous goals impossible: the PER and Equestria.

He smiled to himself, readjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder and clenching the clown mask in his hand tighter before walking up to the waiting car and his fellow criminals within.

What luck that his target bank and the new Gotham Conversion Bureau were beside each other on the same street…

Author's Note:

Rewritten/Updated 6/26/17