• Published 7th Oct 2015
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Nine Lives, Cat's Eyes - Campanula Monkshood

I have the worst luck... ever... of all time. For the first time in fourteen years I get sick and it's terminal but I mean it can't all be bad right? I mean one of the doctors offered me a cure, who wouldn't take that?

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Chapter 3: Mistress of the Night and Cat-scratch Fever.

I sat on a fluffy pillow as I watched the conga line of races on the street; different types of ponies, furry versions of the dog ghoul I had torn apart -which turned out to be called Diamond Dogs-, griffins, a minotaur, couple of things that looked like a lizardmen, and honest to goodness cat-people. “Aloha cousins,” I shouted with a goofy grin and a couple of them looked up, smiled, and waved at me.

“Stop drawing attention to us Felix, as of right now we have three options on how to get to Equestria. One; we hoof it across the border and hope we reach Hoofington but that might take a week or more, two; stowaway on one of the airships-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa; there are airships here?! Why don’t we just buy the tickets?”

“Yes as I was trying to say; stowaway on one of the airships because the tickets are bucking expensive and we would be checked before departure and arrival, or third; hitch a ride from one of the sailing ships heading up the river to the sea and travel up river to Tailton Spring –I have a cousin who lives up there- but we’ll have to deal with the active volcano en-route.”

I deflated a little, “Dang, I would have loved to fly… I’d have to go with the third option and sail, I’ve been on a few boats before and my guts are cast iron!” I got a little laugh out of her and it perked me right back up before I thought back to the doctor’s office, ’Three hours ago the poor thing was at the Green Pasture and then its heart-rate returns to normal and the wounds are almost gone.’ I doubt it means anything, people are confirmed dead only to come back loads of times…

“What are you thinking about, Felix?”

“H-huh? Oh… nothing just wondering… how long was my heart stopped,” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, afraid of her answer.

“What was that,” Bonbon looked up from her notes and checklists.

“How long was I dead for,” I cleared my throat when it came out louder than I was expecting.

“Oh… like Dr. Petpal said; you were… gone for three hours then your heart started up and the bite marks started healing at an incredible rate. Needless to say it surprised both of us, I had heard of the old mares tale that cats had nine lives but I didn’t believe it.”

“Me either… Hey! This means all this planning is pointless; you can just go back to Equestria since I’m technically dead,” I gave a small smile to Bonbon, hoping she’d get the message.

“I still plan on going back and giving Celestia a piece of my mind but…,” she looked over me at the smoke-stained sky, “I’ve done wrong by you and I wish to make it up; I got you banished from possibly the safest place on Equus after foalnapping you because I couldn’t get over what I used to do.”

“What about your friend, Lyra?” She looked down at the papers she was rustling and pulled out an envelope.

“I wrote her a letter telling her that I was going to be stay at your owner’s place for a while, hopefully she’ll understand.” Bonbon held the letter in her hooves for a few extra moments before setting it down. “So let’s get down to business, I’ll go find us a ship to sail on and you stay here where you can’t get in trouble.”

“Hey! I can stay out of trouble just fine thank you, trouble just can’t stay out of me,” I flicked my tails at her, “This is probably a bad time to ask this but… you’ve encountered other Bakeneko right?”

“Shh-shh, don’t say the name!”

“Sorry but what’s the worst that can happen from saying their names?”

“Agents of TRT have been critically injured because they spoke a creature’s name and it acted like a beacon for the creature.”

“Dang… anyways what I meant to ask was; since you know about them, do you think you could teach me?” Her flustered look was all I needed, if I were to learn how to control these abilities who’s to say I won’t turn on her, “N-nevermind, forget I asked.”

“No, no, I’ll be happy to teach you, I can’t have my partner so inept at using his Faust given abilities. You’re just lucky that I read the manuscript about your kind before I foalnapped you to prepare myself. Other than increased abilities associated with felines -strength, speed, agility, and balance- it said you’re able to conjure ghost lights in the form of fire, electricity, and/or light, change sizes, some of you can cause misfortune and disasters to happen, no poison known to pony seems to affect them, as well as having spiritual awareness which I guess is how you knew something was wrong in Granite Junction as well as apparently being able to use magic and having multiple lives…”

“Oh, I also brought a toy mouse to life back in Ponyville. Not on purpose, I thought move instead of levitate and it came to life. I believe it’s still out there; it ran off when I said I wasn’t going to eat it.”

“And now I can add reanimation to the list… because good guys totally use necromancy. I guess that counts under ‘magic’ so I won’t hold it against you,” she gave me a look to let me know she was joking. “Honestly not much is known about your kind’s abilities but the boys back home believe most of the superstitions about cats stemmed from you; like when a cat sits on your chest it’s stealing your soul… things like that.”

“Well that’s fucking dark…”

“Don’t take it to heart, Felix, there are far worse things roaming the world than you; I’ve been hearing stories about some sheep monster roaming the Wastes that sprays acid,” She stood, closed her folders, “I’ll be on my way then, maybe I can help you practice when I get back. There’s a pouch of Bits in the desk if you get hungry.”

With that she was gone, leaving me alone in our room, Maybe I’ll take a nap until she returns, how could I possibly get into trouble by sleeping? I laid my head down on my windowsill pillow and dozed off to the sounds of Port Redstone.

Stalking, rustling grass, and a full moon was all it took; my blood was at a boil as my large form bound past the thick trees. I crouched down onto my belly as I spotted my prey; a small yellow filly with a red bow in her hair. She seemed to have lost her way, even better she had found her way to me. She started looking around as if looking for something, fear filled her eyes, my tails twitched and I started making clicking noises of those of my feline ancestors.

“Help,” she cried out with a southern drawl, “Anypony?!” A split second later the night air was filled with my roars and her screams as I chased her through the woods until there were no woods left; only apple trees, “Applejack! Big Mac!”

I knew I had her cornered now, I could smell it on her; she knew she couldn’t escape. My haunches tense as I readied a leap at the filly when a booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. “CEASE THIS, FOUL BEAST!”

“Princess Luna,” the little pony squealed as dark smoke swirled around her and a dark winged blue unicorn stood before her, “If you’re here then this is just a dream! I can just wake up-.”

“NAY CHILD! DO NOT WAKE, IT WILL CONTINUE TO HAUNT OUR PONIES,” She shouted as a midnight black glaive with a blade that gleamed of moonlight materialized in her hooves, “TO TARTARUS WITH THEE, FOUL HAUNTER OF DREAMS!” I dove out of the way as she charged with the lance; I let loose another roar as I flung azure fire at my attacker. “ENOUGH,” she wiped the flames out with a single swing of her weapon then pointed it at me as chains materialized around me effectively pinning me to the ground, “Thine reign of terror over Our ponies ends with thine life.”

No! Wake up! WAKE UP! As the dark princess struck my chest with the glaive I awoke in our room then immediately fell out of the window onto the floor. Trying to get my heartbeat under control I dry-heaved while rubbing my chest that ached as if it had indeed been pierced, “Christ, maybe I’ll just take a walk… maybe get drunk…”

Ruffling through the desk I found the small pouch of coins that I placed around my neck before opening the door with my magic and slid down the banister effectively launching myself onto the first floor. The pony running the front desk just looked at me as I walked out and I gave her my best meow. We had agreed that I should just keep pretending to be a normal cat unless not given a choice. Sucker~

***Outside Granite Junction: A Few hours earlier.***

A large shadow fell over the sparse ground outside of Granite Junction as a large griffin glided to the ground with heavy wing beats. The griffin’s long bald neck turned as it surveyed the desolate mining town, no building stood but it reeked of rotting corpses and necromancy with trace amounts of living energy and one near-death.

“It seems to be dormant… for now,” The black-winged griffin gave a shrill whistle and the fluff around its neck shook and the lump on the griffin’s back jumped off to the ground and the griffin spoke in a baritone voice, “Pierce, find the two that got away.” The red and blue armored creature let out a shriek and took off westward on its hind legs, occasionally leaping high into the air to glide and give its legs a rest. The odd griffin took one last look around the ghost town before following the fierce looking creature named Pierce in a slow flight. Pierce led him to a river bank where the Near-death succumbed to its wounds and collapsed, “It’s rather large… Very little blood must have just fallen out of consciousness.” Pierce gave a series of clicks and chirps while nipping lightly at his talon, “What is it Pierce?” Pierce sniffed at the large impression then at several hoof prints and large pawprints in the sand. “Hoofprints? So the Living be the form of prey while the Near-death be the form of a predator. How did the pony drag the body away? This is most unsettling…” He gave three chirps and Pierce hopped aboard, holding on with his clawed wings and tail like a backpack. His wings shook violently, he looked north along the bank of the river and his little eyes gleamed, “Near-death has met Death and its journey… is done. Let us go, Pierce, its spirit may have lingered after being in that town and it is our duty to help it pass on.”

***Port Redstone; Present***

“I know it’s here! I can feel it, Life and Death were dancing in that room,” the black-winged griffin shouted, banging his claw on the vet’s desk. “Show me the large cat’s corpse!”

“Celestia damned vultures,” Dr. Petpal muttered to himself. “I told you already, this is a pet hospital! We don’t work on big cats here!”

“Tell me where the creature is that died in that room or else.”

“Or else what,” Dr. Petpal asked and the vulture clicked his tongue, signaling the creature strapped to his back to hiss and intimidate the doctor who took a loud gulp. “I-is that a?”

“A Lurker? Yes it is… Will you tell me what I wish to know now?”

“Alright fine I’ll tell you but I don’t want this getting back to the board; they’ll think I’m crazy and revoke my license! I haven’t operated on any large cats like you assumed but I did operated on this one mare’s pet cat, it had succumbed after being bitten by what could have only been a diamond dog and the wounds were oozing black goo. The poor thing died while I was operating on it.”

“I know that it died here, I’m asking where is it now?”

“I was getting to that, the mare took it home. Just an hour ago the thing’s heart started beating again and it came back to life!”

The vulture griffin paused for a moment, staring at the doctor with its tiny eyes before signaling Pierce back and giving him a piece of meat, “Thank you for sharing this information with me. Where is this mare now?”

“I-I think she left the name of the place she was staying at,” Petpal shuffled through his filing cabinet until he found what he was looking for and passed it to the vulture with a shaking hoof, “O-owner said her name was Bonbon, there’s a picture of her and the cat inside for insurance purposes. Please just go now?”

The vulture griffin took the file and gave a smile that made Dr. Petpal cringe, “Thank you for your help.” When the vulture griffin left Dr. Petpal let out a sigh of relief as he mumbled about how he should have taken that job at the Canterlot Zoo. On the street outside the vulture opened the folder as he walked to the hotel the pony was staying at, a frown crossed his face as he studied the picture of a black cat lying on the operating table, “Two tails? Something about this seems wrong…” As he moved the folder away from his eyes he spotted cat that was identical to the cat in the picture but it only had one tail. On a hunch the vulture took to the shadows and followed the cat until it went inside of a tavern, “Well this is certainly a new one…”

***Felix | Port Redstone, Slicker than Grease Tavern.***

Taking a peek inside I saw that it was filled with all those unsavory types; grizzly, scarred, and vicious looking, This is a den of scum and villainy! Oh look, pretzels! I slinked through the hooves and paws of the other drinkers until I was at the bar, hid myself where I didn’t think anyone could see me, and spoke to the bartender in the deepest voice possible but it still came out kind of squeaky, “Got anything for felines?”

There was a pause as the poor pony was looking around, trying to find me, “Um… hello?”

“I said, do you have anything for felines.”

“Oh, um… we have catnip wine…”

Here we go! I hopped up onto a stool in front of him and gave a toothy smile, “I’ll have some of that!”

If there was a record playing I’m sure it would have scratched as everyone turned to me, Bonny can’t complain, I really can’t help it this time. Their faces are- Oh shit, knife! I hopped over to the next stool as a serrated throwing knife embedded itself where I had been sitting. The owner, one of those lizard things wrapped in cloth from the neck down, “Foolish insect, you shouldn’t have left your hive.”

“Hey now, I don’t want any trouble.”

“To late Changeling, die quietly and with little mess.”

What’s a Changeling? I felt a growl rumble in my chest and tried sounding as dark as I could muster, “I don’t know what you think I am but you best sit your scaly ass down before I make you into a vest… actually I better not, it might smell even worse than you do.” There were several laughs and ‘ooohs’. “How much for a bottle of that wine, dude?”

“A-a bottle is twenty-five Bits,” he stammered out, eyes barely above the bar.

“Dang… hold that thought,” I said, holding a paw out at the lizard thing before pulling off my pouch of coins and counted out thirty of them, “A little tip for not being an asshole bartender, sorry if it’s not the right percentage; I’m terrible at math.” The pony just nodded, took the money, and slid a silver bottle and a red saucer. “…is that supposed to be a joke?”

“N-no sir, that’s how the Bast drink theirs…”

“Oh… sorry about that then,” I reached out to the bottle with my tail and used them to pour a saucer full. I tried sipping it but it just ended up soaking my whiskers, “Damn, now would be a really good time for some sippin’ lips.”

“Stop ignoring me,” the lizard man screamed as he pulled the bottle from my tail, “Lisk hates bugs with attitudes!”

“Hey! I was drinking that,” I shouted indignantly.

“Or what? You’ll maul me with you widdle teeth and claws?”

When he said that my mind flashed back to the dream I had had; wanting to tear into my prey, I left the flashback only to meet a scaly bitch slap that sent me careening into the wall and slid to the floor.

“Ow… Asshole, didn’t your momma tell you not to hurt animals; especially the cute ones? I’m giving you one more chance… put down the bottle and sit your ass down before you really regret it. I was taught if someone comes after you with the intent of causing a ruckus; give them two warnings before you beat their faces in.” He pulled out another knife, I sighed as my eyes glowed and it encased the lizard known as Lisk. “What was I thinking on making you into a vest… you would make a much better puppet. Do a little dance for the nice people!” I made him go through the motions of the chicken dance as his eyes widened in fear.

“Sever the puppet’s strings,” a deep voice said as a large odd looking griffin that looked like a buzzard variety stepped through the swinging doors. “I came because I was wary that your brush with the ghost town had tainted your soul… I see I was right; you have many lives within you and this is not natural.”

I glared at the intruder as he stepped up to my puppet and took the bottle he had taken from me, “Of course it’s not natural, I’m not natural! I died four hours ago and I feel like I’m an entirely different person! You seem to know about how many lives I have in me so tell me; am I still me?”

“One way to find out; would the you before continue to treat a life as if it had no worth; whether it was evil, good, or because it ‘deserved it’?”

“W-well, no…”

“Then sever the string… that is how you will know.”

I looked at the glowing lizard, fear welled up in his eyes and it nearly broke me; I closed my eyes and stopped the magic. I hung my head as there was loud scrabbling and a bang as the door swung so hard it fell off its hinges, “…Thank you.”

“No worries; it is my job to help those that have passed, this is the first time I’ve met one with a flesh body that wasn’t trying to eat me so this is a nice contrast,” He placed the bottle back onto the counter and placed a small bag in front of the bartender who he stared at with his tiny eyes, “A bottle of Dragon Dread Liquor please.”

“D-Dragon Dread?!”

“Is that a problem?”

“No but I’m required by law to warn anyone who attempts to purchase it.”

“Yes, yes, I’ve heard it all before; don’t drink and fly, don’t stand next to any fires, and watch out for the Fire Ruby shards at the bottom.” A black bottle that flickered with red whenever the sun hit it just right and the black griffin took both bottles to an empty table, “Since you were here for a drink, let’s drink. It’s always nice to have company for a drink.” I nodded then hopped up on the table where he poured shot glasses of flame-red liquor.

***Half an hour, a bottle of Dread, and a third of wine later***

“Everybody wants to be a c-cat, cause a cat’s the on-only cat whooz knows where it’s at,” Felix sung as he stood on his hind-legs and danced on the table.

“Everyone is picking up that feline beat,” Geoff the vulture griffin sung in a deep voice.

“Nyan Nyan Nyan-nyan-nyan,” laughing so hard Felix fell on his back onto the table.

“I can’t understand you if you start meowing…”

“Who’s The Cow King,” Felix slurred before his limbs went limp and he passed out.

Geoff ruffled his feathers and dropped his drunken act, well partially due to the fact that the Dread had a delayed effect on him. He stood up from the table and draped Felix’s limp body on his back right behind Pierce who sniffed at the cat, “Don’t eat him, I can’t have you drunk; you’ll never track right after that.” The other drinkers watched as the vulture toted out the cat that had made Lisk the Lowdown its plaything with no idea what the hell had actually just happened.

A while later Bonbon returned to their room only to find Felix laying on his back laughing along and cutting up with a strange looking griffin, “Felix, what in the name of Celestia are you doing?! Who said you could let strange griffins into our room?”

“I didn’t let a strange griffin into our room… I let Geoff into our room. Geoff, Bonny. Bonny, Geoff,” Felix giggled as Bonbon glared at the nickname.

“By Faust you’re drunk!”

“I certainly hope so,” Geoff said as he lifted his head, “I paid good Bits for that Dread.”

“Why are you drunk?! I told you to stay in the room and out of trouble.”

“And I did. *hic* I laid down and went to sleep but I had the strangest dream; I was trying to eat this little pony with a ribbon in its hair and *hic* this pony called Luna appeared then she started attacking me… I mean what’s up with that… Why would I dream of some dark pony trying to deep-six me.”

“Princess Luna tried to kill you? Wait, wait, wait… you were trying to eat a little filly?!”

Felix just raised his paw above him and looked at it with longing, “Sometimes I wish I still had fingers… cats are cool but being human just had so many more perks.”

“Don’t ignore me, Felix,” Bonbon shouted as she stomped a hoof, “Why were you trying to eat a filly?!”

“I don’t know Bonny, it was just a stupid dream. Sometimes you do things you wouldn’t normally do and I don’t think I would have eaten her; I was just chasing her. She ran to this farm place, shouting something about liquor and burgers, then that fake princess showed up and tried to shish-ka-bob me.”

“I don’t think that Luna was a fake Felix, Princess Luna patrols the dream of ponies; it’s her job,” Felix’s eyes gain slight clarity when Bonbon dropped this news on him.

“Oh… perhaps I best go apologize then,” he started saying something else but he slumped over giving a mewling snore every now and then.

“Sweet Celestia what has my life become as of late,” Bonbon asked herself before giving Geoff a look, “So what’s your story, why are you hanging around Felix?”

“I was hunting someone, well technically they’re a something now but as is a falling pebble into a calm pool.” Geoff took a swig from the silver bottle of catnip wine and blanched as he corked it, “Gods this is terrible.”

“What is it?”

“Catnip wine…”

“Aren’t griffins part feline,” Bonbon asked as she trotted over to her desk to put up her folders.

“I’m a vulture griffin, we’re part jackals… which are dogs,” Geoff corrected. “That’s beside the point, I believe you have met who I was hunting… in that town?” Bonbon froze then gave Geoff a suspicious glare, “I found where the town appeared but when I got there I noticed that two life forces had escaped. I can normally sense life forces of living beings but it is difficult and those that are near death are easier but not by much. I had Pierce track you to the river bank where I felt your friend die, here in town and that was how I found you.”

“Who’s Pierce?”

“He’s asleep at the moment but he’s a Lurker from the Black Marsh, I hatched him from an egg and from then on he’s been my loyal companion… so long as I remember to feed him.”

There was several seconds of silence before Bonbon gave a polite cough, “So you were looking for Granite Junction?”

“Yes, well specifically the party behind it. While Felix and I were sharing a drink he told me what had transpired inside before offering his help to purge that foul place.”

“Ooof course he did… good thing the ships won’t make sail for another week.”

“Say… about what you said about that dream princess; is that true?”

Bonbon just gave an odd smile, “Absolutely, Princess Luna is very good at patrolling the dream realm.”

“Do you think Felix could chance upon her like he said he did?”

“Doubt it, Princess Luna comes to the dreamer not the other way around. She probably sensed his messed up head and popped in to check it out.”

***Meanwhile inside Felix’s messed up head***

I ducked in between two huge shelves of books just as a large fiery explosion rocked the enormous library behind me, “Shit!”

“My books,” I heard a familiar voice scream and I saw Twilight running to me with her horn glowing.



“What are you doing here,” we both asked at the same time.

“CEASE THESE GAMES CREATURE,” Luna’s voice echoed far above the bookshelves in the domed part of the roof.

“P-princess Luna? But that would mean this is a d-dream,” I saw the gears turning in her head as the building around us groaned as if it were falling apart.

“NAY TWILIGHT SPARKLE, YE MUST KEEP-,” Luna started to shout but the world shattered around us and I was flung into the dream corridor, it’s like this endless void with doors just floating everywhere and each door is a someones dream “This isn’t going how I planned it,” I said to myself as I kept flying until I went through a door. I hit the outside of a window that let me see into a small classroom where several of the small ponies had animal heads and the teacher’s face and ass were switched, “What… the fuck?”

“So thou can enter daydreams as well,” I heard Luna’s cold presence behind me.

Her horn glowed and we ended back in the corridor, she had her lance at the ready and I just flopped to my side, “Geez, I try to come apologize to you and you chase me…”


“Yeah… you know, for that incident earlier with that little pony; I thought I was just dreaming. Heh, dreams, who knows why you dream what you dream?” After I caught my breath I sat on my haunches, “Man, who knew real life stamina translate into the dream world.

“Real world? Thou jest, thou are but an apparition of some poor pony’s terror that has run amuck and nothing more,” she pointed the glaive at me once more as she spoke then banged it on the nonexistent floor with a thud.

“Nope, I’m real. I’m just sleeping off a bottle of Dragon Dread and Catnip wine,” I laughed at what I must look like.

***In the real world***

“Ugh, who knew real life stamina translated into the dream world,” Felix grunted as he twitched.

“Uh…” Bonbon said slack-mouthed, “I don’t think I want to know what he’s dreaming of if it involves Princess Luna. Too late, it’s already in my head. Sweet Faust I can’t get it out of my head now!”

***Now we return you to your regularly scheduled crazy.***

“It is no matter to Us,” Luna leveled the glaive at my face and I gave a withering sigh, “Thou are a danger to Our ponies so thou must be dealt with posthaste.” I just gave her a flat look, “Pray tell; what is thine look for?”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“This is how Equestrian royalty is expected to speak… or We did.”

“Odd, Celestia doesn’t talk like that.”

Luna set a calculating glare on me, “Thou have been acquainted with Our sister?”

“Yep, I got really acquainted with her, well, her banishing hoof that is. Thing has a hair trigger,” Luna’s look softened when I said banished, “Well no point just standing out in the hallway, I’m going to be passed out for a while more so let’s have some dream tea and crumpets… I don’t actually know what the hell a crumpet is so I’ll have to improvise.” I just started walking in the direction that felt as if it led to my dream room and found a blue door with wavy markings, “Are you coming princess?”

“Nay, thou shall not enter another ponies dream. Thine actions are causing much duress.”

“Good thing it’s not a pony’s dream, I’m… eighty-two percent sure this is my room,” I flicked my tail and the door swung open to reveal the hospital room I had been staying in when I was human. “Odd, why would I be dreaming of this place? We’re having tea so let’s do it right; I’m thinking… a café.” No sooner had I thought that it had appeared, people sitting around drinking coffee, tea, and pumpkin spice lattes. “Oooh better yet, a maid café… nah, better not.”

“W-what,” the dream princess gawked at all the humans walking around, “You seem to have great dream control… and imagination… for a feline.”

“Hey, you dropped your ye olde speak.”

“We didst nothing of the sort!”

I just smiled and hopped up into one of the empty chairs in the middle of the room. I motioned the dream waitress over with a wave of my paw, “Yes, hi, I’d like the biggest size of a caramel frappe.”

“Anything for you, Felix,” she said happily as she jotted it down on a pink notepad, “And you Luna?”

Luna seemed taken aback for a moment when the waitress said her name, “Staring at the moon all night, please.”

“Sure thing sweetie,” tapping her pad twice and it transformed into a large tray with two humongous coffee mugs the size of waste baskets that she placed in front of us before leaving with a hop.

I gave Luna a smirk, “Staring at the moon all night?”

“The strongest legal coffee that may be sold or purchased in Equestria,” she said matter-of-factly as she tipped the drink back. “The pony whom had provided it to Us said he hadst been awake for three days then slept for four.”

“Damn, surprised it didn’t stop his heart,” I leaned forward to sip from the straw sticking out of it, “So where were we? Oh right, I was apologizing for chasing that little filly. Honestly I didn’t mean her any harm; I just thought I was having one of those dreams where you don’t know why you’re doing it.”


“Yep,” I took another long sip, prolonging the pause until the cold coffee went straight to my brain causing me to slam a paw on the table, “Gah, fuck, brain freeze! I didn’t know you could get those in dreams!” The café and everyone that had come into existence were immediately coated in ice… “Well that’s certainly strange.”

“This room is the metaphysical projection of thine dreams,” Luna took a tentative sip of her coffee, “Why would thou order cold coffee? It’s supposed to be hot.”

“Why do people warm up chocolate milk and call it hot chocolate?”

“Touché,” Luna gave a little chuckle, “Forgive Our- my, aggression towards you… I’ve been… away… for some time and wasn’t aware the process of dream manipulation had been released to the public. You still need practice but I’m sure a Unicorn that could manage to process the astronomical limits of spacial and psychological strain-”

“Process the what? What are you talking about? I just found out about you from this pony that I’m with; she told me that you police dreams… I wasn’t aware that I was in someone elses dream… up until that bit with Twilight recognizing me then immediately exploding. I just thought you would come to me so I could apologize.”

“So thou are not a Unicorn who had found a way to copy Our work in hopes of spreading nightmares,” Luna asked as she gave me an incredulous look.

“Nope, I’m just me… So,” I chirped, obviously trying to change the subject, “I noticed that look when I said banished, I sense a story there.”


“I’ll share mine if you share yours,” I said in the sweetest voice I could, causing her to huff and set down her drink, “yes~ story time!

“I… suppose it started one thousand years ago-“

“Whoa, wait what?”

“The story, it started one thousand years ago.”

“You don’t look that old.”

“Thank you for the compliment but may I finish or even start the story,” she asked and I drew my paw over my mouth, indicating silence, and she proceeded to tell me how she was banished to the moon for a thousand years. The story lasted for what I figured to be fifteen minutes, “-and with the help of young Twilight Sparkle We were purged of Nightmare Moon and welcomed with open hooves by Our sister.”

“Wow… Wait hold on… How did Twilight know what to do?”

“Why don’t we ask her,” Luna gave a smile and emptied her second trash can cup of coffee, “Twilight has a tendency to spend the night studying which makes for an interesting sleep schedule.”

“Ah yes, reminds me of college but with less beer, hookers, and concussions,” I said solemnly, “Good times… So shall we find her?”

“Art thou forgetting something?”

“No? Oh! Right, my banishment; well I was sitting in a hospital bed after I was held for tests- no, wait… that’s too far back.” I thought back, thinking of the time in the woods, “Ah right, next thing I know I’m a cat in this evil forest being chased by wolves, I found shelter in this little cottage after talking to this bunny and…” I imagined up of Bonbon, “she showed up with the cottage’s owner, somehow realizing I wasn’t the average cat, and chased me out. That was went Angel introduced me to Opal –she’s also a cat but like a normal cat- who directed me to Spike, Twilight’s familiar-“

“We believe she refers to him as her assistant.”

“She has a bond with a dragon, I know several people back home that would cream themselves to have one. Anyways; get there and Twilight helps me out on finding out what I was –it involves prior events that involved running from the blue fire on my tail- found mention in this old Neighponese? book that she swore she didn’t know was there.”

“Oh! You’re a Nekomata,” Luna cried out as she gave a laugh, “It’s no wonder Our sister banished you, your race has been seen as monstrous and bloodthirsty, labels that your kin have not or wish not to rebuff.”

“Nekomata? But Bonbon called me a Bakeneko…”

“It’s no different than calling a Macintosh and a Granny-Smith the same thing, they’re both apples. They’re essential the same thing with a few differences… Namely Bakeneko can’t grow… well they do have shapeshifting so technically they could just shapeshift into a bigger form… actually maybe there aren’t that many differences other than one of them being pony-eaters.”

“I have shape-shifting?!”

“You did not know this?”

“No! Dude, if I could have shape-shifted I would have made myself look like a pony and avoided a whole bunch of trouble,” I shouted then rubbed my temples with my paw-pads.

“Unlikely, any Unicorn worth their salt could recognize a shape-shifter with a little study. Well since our stories have been shared let us find one Twilight Sparkle.” Her horn flashed and we were back into the corridor standing in front of a tan door, “Good, she is asleep…”

Her horn flared once more and Bonbon stood in her place, “What’s with the costume change?”

“We are the Mistress of Night and Twilight is familiar with us as thou had seen before when she ‘exploded’. Most ponies do not take finding out their dream well; most instances result in something similar others turn into lucid dreams where they act out their fantasies…”

I gave a polite cough, “Fantasies huh? Ever uh… walk in on them doing you?”

“It is best we enter now, just act like a normal cat,” she said ignoring me and opening the door to reveal the small library back in Ponyville. ‘Bonbon’ called out in her normal voice, “Twilight? Are you here?”

Spike came walking out of the kitchen with a broom and apron, “Hey Bonbon, She’s upstairs studying.”

‘Bonbon’ smiled at the little dragon, “Oh, okay… maybe you can help me; do you know how Twilight knew how to stop Nightmare Moon?”

“Oh yeah, I was there,” the little dragon smiled as he pussed out his chest, “She read it in a book while trying to find out about the elements of harmony which led her to the old mares tale of the Mare in the Moon.”

“There was a story about that,” ‘Bonbon’ asked, I could almost here a twinge of Luna in her voice, “What did it say?”

“It said that legends states that on the longest day of the thousandth year the stars would aid in her escape and she would bring about eternal night.”

“Thank you, I’ll be going now,” ‘Bonbon’ quickly turned around and we left the dream. When the door closed she reverted back to herself, “We suppose We shouldn’t have had expected more, Our ponies will always fear us… We are surprised Our sister even welcomed us back.”

“Well that answers how she knew but it raises more questions, if Celestia wanted you to stay banished then why did she work to release you?”

“What,” she asked with a befuddled look.

“Your sister is the princess of the sun right? Well the sun is a star… ‘The stars will aid in her escape’? Maybe I’m reading too much into this…”

“It matters not, thank you my furry little compatriot,” Luna boomed with a laugh, “Thank you for the drink and story, maybe next time We will not try to end you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that… hey luna? Can cats get hangovers?” She gave a shrug, “Well waking up has a fifty-fifty chance of sucking so I’ll just bear it. Til next time Princess Luna.”

“And to you, Felix Azuretails,” she cocked her head and the look I gave her name, “You do not approve?”

“It’s great, at least I have a last name now,” I gave her a smile and I left the corridor.

***Back in the world of disappointment and lack of maid cafés.***

I opened my eyes then immediately clenched them shut, “Yep, cats can get hangovers… Life officially sucks!”

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Bonbon remarked with a closing sound of her notes. “Have a nice dream,” she shouted loud enough to make my head throb.

“Ugh… I wonder if you killed me and I got brought back, would it remove this hangover,” I asked myself as I wondered.

I heard Geoff click his beak over on the couch as he stirred, “The matters of life and death are not so trivial that you may use them to forgo hangovers.”

“Sorry… but yes Bonbon, I did have a nice dream; I got chased around several dreams, watched a unicorn explode, and had ridiculously sized cups of coffee with the Mistress of the Night! Ow…”

Bonbon looked perplexed, “You mean you actually found her?” I nodded and she slumped back into her chair, “I thought she was the only one who could do that…”

“Don’t feel bad, she thought that as well… Also found out I’m not a Bak- Urm, one of those. She called me a Neko- …herm, this not saying their names is difficult, turns out the two are similar but separate creatures.”

“Well that is good news,” Geoff murmured, “The ships won’t be here for a week so you can keep your promise and help me purge that town.”

“Yeah sure, I’m just glad that coffee didn’t come with me because that would have- wait, what’d you just say,” I shouted at the vulture griffin then cringing as it brought more pain.

Author's Note:

Dun. Dun. DUUUUN

:Discordsquee: After many... hours of... brainstorming! Yes, let's call it brainstorming... Here's the third chapter of Nine Lives! Got some drunken shenanigans, he was having an identity crisis of sorts, finally found out who was tailing them (Oh right, someone was tailing them :derpytongue2:), dream coffee date with Luna, (hehehe Twilight essentially exploding... *plays it on a loop*), and an oncoming purge!
I'd like to thank the readers who are still enjoying it, the new guys who weren't warned prior to delving into the story, and a special thanks to Aku for being a totally awesome user for proofreading/getting sneaky-peekys~ of this chapter. You rock!

Thanks for reading, Camp out!