• Published 8th Dec 2014
  • 3,483 Views, 182 Comments

"The Name's Dash" - calmcalmcalm

Soarin and Rainbow Dash have met several times before, but alas have yet to fall in love. When they both try to change this in very different ways, things get funny.

  • ...

"Anypony gonna order a donut?"

Rainbow Dash touched down in front of Donut Joe’s donut shop. Ahh, this is gonna be the best part of my night so far. As she pushed open the doors, she instantly spotted a familiar electric blue mane. “Huh? Is that who I think it is?” she stepped into the shop, and confirmed who the pony was. “Scratch.”

The white unicorn looked towards the door and spotted her. “Dash.”

Rainbow stepped closer to the booth the mare was sitting in. “Long time, no see. Apparently you’re famous now?”

“Yeah, and you’re not. How’s becoming a Wonderbolt going?” The unicorn flipped her sunglasses up, revealing magenta eyes, which were narrowed at her.

“Bitch, please. I am so much better than the Wonderbolts.” Dash stepped closer, smirking.

“Who you calling a bitch?” The unicorn rose from her seat, approaching Dash.

“You.” Rainbow snickered. “You deaf or something? All that loud music can’t be good for your ears.”

“Hmm, you think your funny, don’t you…” the unicorn and Dash were now an arm’s length apart. Donut Joe was standing behind the counter, watching them with wide eyes. He looked like he was prepared to intervene if a fight broke out.

“Aw, I’ve missed you Scratchy!” Rainbow grinned, pulling the mare into a rough hug. Joe looked very confused now.

“I’ve missed you too Dash! It really has been too long!” Vinyl Scratch AKA DJ PON3 replied, messing up Rainbow’s formerly tidy mane. “What’s got you lookin' so fancy?”

“Eh, I was at the Grand Galloping Gala but had to… step out early.” Rainbow straightened her dress. “Rarity gave me a makeover.” She rolled her eyes.

“Um, Vinyl? What’s happening right now?” A voice came from the direction of Vinyl’s booth. Rainbow turned and looked, spying a light blue unicorn stallion with a spiky mane.

“Oh, Neon! This is Rainbow Dash! We grew up together in Ponyville!” Vinyl led Dash over to him.

“Hey, nice to meet ya!” Rainbow smiled. Hmm, this guy looks familiar…

“Hey, I’m Neon. Neon Lights.” He introduced himself.

“You may know him as MC WISH. Or my coltfriend.” Vinyl added.

“Oh, that’s where I know you from! You guys toured together, right? And coltfriend Vinyl? Neon, blink twice if she`s holding you hostage.” Dash snickered. Vinyl had been one of her best friends when Rainbow had first moved to Ponyville, before she became a successful DJ and began touring all of Equestria. She had always been adamant about not dating as it would `interfere with her sick music-making abilities.’

“Yeah! He does lights, I do music.” Vinyl explained, completely ignoring Dash and Neon`s laughing about the coltfriend comment. “So, how’s life been treatin’ ya?”

“Decent. I’m still in Ponyville, Captain of the weather team, nothing too exciting.” Dash decided not to tell them about being an Element of Harmony. Celestia didn’t broadcast it out to the world, so Dash decided not to either.

“Nothing too exciting?” Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “Winner of the Best Young Flyer Competition? Winning a medal in the Equestria Games? I’ve been keeping tabs on you girl, you’re a fricken hell of an athlete.” Rainbow snickered.

“Yeah, I guess I am pretty cool.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes. “And clearly you haven’t changed. Still a cocky little shit, aren’t you?” She smirked. Dash remembered all of the trouble she used to get in for being over-confident.

“Why would I change, I’m already the most awesome mare in all of Equestria.” She stated, smiling smugly. Vinyl squinted at her.

“Oh yeah?” She leaned towards her.

“Yeah.” Dash leaned in to, still grinning.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Ok. Then I challenge the self-proclaimed ‘most awesome mare in all of Equestria' to a… WUBS BATTLE!”

“How did I know that was coming?” Rainbow commented. The two mares were nose to nose now, glaring at each other. They were lucky that apart from Joe, they were the only ones in the shop. They were sending some pretty weird vibes at the moment.

“PPFT!” Vinyl busted out laughing, Rainbow joining her. They had always been getting into stupid little competitions when they were younger. Rainbow glanced over at Neon who was sitting there with an extremely puzzled look on his face.

“You two are weird.” was all he said. The two mares kept laughing, Rainbow not caring what happened to her dress at this point. Twilight's already gonna kill me, might as well get Rarity in on it to.

“Ahh Dash, you really haven’t changed.” Vinyl sat up, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Neither have you Scratchy, neither have you.” Rainbow sniggered, looking up when she heard the door open. “Oh shit.” Vinyl and Neon followed her gaze and spotted three ponies walking in. They were dressed in yellow and blue flight suits, and had large goggles hanging around their necks. “Holy shit. Crap. Bloody hell.” Rainbow began to mutter as she hid behind her hooves.

“Um, Dash? Everything ok?” Vinyl stared at her, bewildered.

“Uh-huh…” Rainbow scooted in further to the wall. “Why me?” She groaned.

“Kay, this is weird, and that’s coming from me… I’ve seen some crazy shit before. Aren’t those Wonderbolts?” Vinyl questioned, confused on why her friend was hiding from ponies she idolised.


“That didn’t clear anything up.” Vinyl glanced back over to the Wonderbolts. “That’s the lead squad isn’t it? Spitfire, Fleetfoot and Soa-" Rainbow reached across the table and put a hoof over the DJ’s mouth.

“Shh! I don’t want them to see me!” She whisper-shouted.

“Aw gross man! I don’t know where that hoof has been!” Vinyl slapped Dash’s hoof away from her face. “What’s going on? I thought you were like, in love with them or something.”

“It’s a long story. Part of the reason I’m here actually…” Dash tried to scoot even closer to the wall.

“Well, we’ve got time! And also Vinyl, remember when that Soarin dude hit on you at that club? That was hilarious!” Neon piped up from where he was sitting.

“I know right! He was so desperate! It got really funny after he tried to hit on YOU though!” Vinyl and Neon burst out laughing, leaving a very confused Dash trying to hide behind her hooves again. The loud laughter alerted the Wonderbolts of their presence and Soarin glanced over. His eyes widened as he saw who was sitting there. Rainbow cringed, knowing she had been spotted. Her mane was a dead giveaway.

“Curse my awesome hair…” She grumbled as Vinyl and Neon calmed down.

“So, ready to tell us this story now?” Vinyl looked curiously at Dash.

“Ugh. Fine.” Rainbow began telling her story for the third time that night.


“Soarin, why do you look like a little filly that just wet herself?” Fleet asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, no reason. That's just my regular face.” He quickly looked away from the booth that Dash was in. He was a little too late though, and his friends followed his gaze.

“Oooh shit!” Fleet began laughing upon seeing who he was looking at. Soarin grabbed her by the wing and dragged her over to the booth in the corner, Spitfire following.

“Soarin, it’s no big deal that Rainbow Dash is here. You’re both full grown ponies, you can handle this responsibly.” She rolled her eyes as Soarin just sat there dumbly. “Ok, fine. Just act like a big baby and never speak to her or acknowledge her presence again.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll go with that plan.” Soarin stated, completely missing the sarcasm. “But the fact that she’s here isn’t even the worst part! Did you see who she’s sitting with?”

Fleetfoot craned her neck to see who was accompanying Dash. “HAH!” She collapsed in a fit of giggles again. “It-Its BAAHAH” she tried to speak but couldn’t through all the laughing. Spitfire looked as well and saw the iconic electric blue mane.

“Damn! Not only is she here with DJ PON3, the very mare you tried to hook up with, but MC WISH is also here! The very stallion you tried to hook up with!” Spitfire couldn’t contain her giggles. She collapsed next to Fleet, leaving a mortified Soarin sitting right in the eyeshot of Rainbow.

“I hate you guys.” He said flatly as Rainbow Dash’s eyes met his. Why is she looking at me? Well, I guess I am pretty much straight in front of her. But she’s so dumb! Why doesn’t she just look away?

“This has been such a great night.” Fleetfoot sat up, regaining her speaking abilities. “I mean, I met a bunch of smoking hot stallions, Soarin completely embarrassed himself, and- oh right! Soarin runs into not only the mare he embarrassed himself in front of, but also the two celebrities he tried to get with! One of them being a dude!” She cracked up again, falling back onto the booth seat. Soarin still sat looking straight ahead, having a sort of extremely awkward staring contest with Dash.

“I actually cannot look away.” He tried but his eyes seemed glued to hers. “What the hell is wrong with my neck, it’s like, paralyzed.” He tried to break eye contact but he physically could not. Little did he know, Vinyl was sitting in the other booth, using her unicorn magic to freeze his and Dash’s necks so they couldn’t look away. Back at the Wonderbolts booth Fleet reached over and punched him. Right in the face. That seemed to loosen his neck up.

“There! Did that help?” she asked brightly.

“AUGH! Fleet, that hurt! Why do you always have to be so mean to me?” Soarin shook his head a few times, hiding the tears caused by the punch. “But man that was weird! It was like I was frozen!”

“Dude! Did I just make you cry?!” Fleet guffawed as she saw Soarin’s watery eyes.

“You punch hard. And you’re a bitch.” He rubbed his eyes. “And I’m not crying. This is just pain leaking from my eyes.”

“I made you cry, I made you cry…” Fleet began singing.

Back at Dash’s booth, Vinyl started snickering. “Dude! She totally just made him cry!”

“Vinyl, I kinda hate you.” Dash was miffed about her spell-use. “I literally thought my eyes were gonna melt his face or something. I do not like that guy!”

“Clearly, based on the story you just told us!” Neon remarked. “But honestly, it didn’t sound that bad. Maybe a bit awkward, but no reason to hate the guy!”

Dash glanced over at him. “Yeah, I don’t like you much either.” He blinked at her.

“Hurtful. But I'm just saying, aren't you overreacting a bit?”


“IS ANYPONY IN HERE ACTUALLY GONNA ORDER A DONUT?” Joe bellowed from behind the counter. “IF NOT, READ THE SIGN ON THE DOOR. NO LOITERING.” Dash looked around. Out of the six customers in the shop, not one of them had actually bought anything.

“Eh, I just realised I’m flat broke anyways. I think I’m just gonna head home. Maybe I can make it back to my house without Twilight seeing me…” Dash stood up, and glanced down at her dress. It was now very wrinkly and had crumbs on it from the sticky booth. “Or Rarity for that matter.”

“Well, it was cool seeing you again RD, I’ll swing by Ponyville soon.” Vinyl reached out and tousled Dash’s mane.

“Nice meeting you. See ya around.” Neon waved a hoof.

“Yeah! See you guys!” Dash trotted towards the door, avoiding the Wonderbolts booth. As she pushed open the door, she came face to face with a familiar group of ponies (and a dragon). “Huh?” Her friends all stood looking at her with confused expressions. They must have finished up at the Gala and felt like a snack!

“Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?” Spike asked.

“Uh….” She glanced over at Twilight who was staring at her with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah Rainbow. What are you doing here?” She asked, eyes flashing.

“And what did you do to your dress!?” Rarity gasped.

“Sorryguysgottarun!” Rainbow said in one breath, and shot into the air, in the direction of Ponyville. “Heh, lucky I left when I did!” She continued her flight back home, pausing to rest on a cloud. This has been a weird night. We really can’t go anywhere without something… eventful happening. Better get my ass up and flying if I wanna get home before Twilight and the others. The flight from Canterlot to Ponyville wasn’t very long, half an hour if Rainbow was going at a slow pace. Which she never goes at.


About fifteen minutes later Rainbow could see her cloud mansion, hovering near Twilight’s new tree-castle thing. She soared towards it and leaned against the base, pushing it. That was the good thing about living in a cloud. If she ever pissed anypony off, she could relocate her house to be far away from theirs quite easily. Dash pushed her house until it was near Sweet Apple Acres. There, Applejack won’t kill me for ruining the Gala! At least, I don’t think she will! Dash pushed open her front door, letting the clouds close together behind her.

“Ahhh, home sweet home.” Rainbow sighed as she pulled off her dress, throwing it in a crumpled pile. “A few more wrinkles won’t hurt that thing.” She trotted through her large living room, past the kitchen, and down the hall. “Why did I make this house so damn big?” When her parents decided to move back to Cloudsdale, and Dash remained in Ponyville she had drawn a plan for a house thinking “bigger is better”. But when the house had actually been constructed, she had realised it was stupid for one Pegasus to be living in a mansion all by herself. It got a little lonely, with all of the empty space. Sure, Tank was there to keep her company, but he just wasn't the same as another pony. She bounced up the cloud stairs, humming a song to herself.

“Been dreaming, I’ve been waiting

To fly with those great ponies… except Soarin because he’s stupid…

The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks…”

She giggled at her improvised song lyrics. “Wow, I am just hilarious. Too bad I live alone and nopony can hear my unbelievable wit.” She hopped into her bedroom and flopped onto her bed. “Ah… better get a good night’s sleep if I’m gonna spend all day tomorrow slacking off weather duties and avoiding Twilight’s wrath….” She drifted off to sleep, thoughts of the odd night still swirling in her mind.

Author's Note:

Who knew DOnut Joe's was such a popular place? The Wonderbolts, two famous DJ's, and the Elements of Harmony/Saviors of Equestria all on one night? Well, let's be honest, who doesn't like donuts....