• Published 8th Dec 2014
  • 3,483 Views, 182 Comments

"The Name's Dash" - calmcalmcalm

Soarin and Rainbow Dash have met several times before, but alas have yet to fall in love. When they both try to change this in very different ways, things get funny.

  • ...

“Might as well get a donut...”

“What do you mean he was stupid darling?” Rarity looked utterly confused.

“I mean exactly that. He was stupid! He kept saying he liked Rainbows, but then called me Raindow. With a D. That's not a name! And he's met me before! It's hard to forget my name. I'm like a fricken bag of skittles!” Rainbow was frustrated. After her talk with Rarity, she was prepared to dazzle an amazing stallion. Instead she got one that was... Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

“Well, maybe he was just nervous. Why don't you go find him and try again?” Rarity suggested

“Ugh. No thank you. And why would he be nervous? He's a Wonderbolt!” They don't get nervous! Dash exclaimed.

“Why Rainbow darling, I'm sure they do, but if you don’t want to see him again, why don't we go and join our friends?” Rarity pointed to where the other four were gathered.

Yeah, sure. Rainbow started trotting towards them, still disappointed that her attempt to wow Soarin was a bust. Not because of her of course, but because he was dumb as a doorknob.

“Hey Dashie! Hey Rarity! Where'd you sillies go? Pinkie chirped at them as they neared.

“Well-” Rainbow was cut off.

“You were outside when you ran into a certain Wonderbolt by the name of Soarin who you were interested in but then he turned out to be a big dumb dummy and now you don't like him anymore and never want to see him again to avoid awkwardness!” Pinkie spoke in one long breath.

“Wha? How the hell did you know that?” Dash knew this was just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, but that was amazing.

“Eh, just a hunch!” Pinkie bounced off towards the dance floor.

“I will never understand that pony.” Applejack shook her head at the bouncing pink form that was now on the dance floor doing her signature dance move, 'the Gummy shake'. It consisted of shaking on the floor, and yes, her pet alligator Gummy had inspired it. “So sugarcube, Soarin eh?”

“Nope. Not anymore at least...” Rainbow started to tell her story to her friends who gathered around. "Man, that stallion is DUMB!”


“Wow Soarin, you only lasted seven minutes? That's gotta be a new record!” Fleet giggled upon seeing Soarin returning from outside. “I totally won me and Spitty’s bet! And even though I haven't paid her for the past four I'm sure she's gonna pay me!”

“Think again Fleet.” Soarin replied. “She's not gonna pay up until you do. And before you ask, yes I know you two bet on me.”

“Oh, smarter then you look Soar!” Fleet teased him. “Well, you didn't listen to my advice, did you now... Otherwise you wouldn't have failed so quickly.”

“I did! And it worked great! I was charming, suave, the whole bit! It was Rainbow Dash who was the problem...” Soarin trailed off.

“What? How was SHE the probl-”

“She DUMB man!” Soarin interrupted.

“Huh?” Fleetfoot blinked at him.

“Literally every single time I spoke she got really confused! How am I supposed to like a mare who can't even keep up with a simple conversation?” Soarin plopped down on the floor in front of his friend.

“Well, maybe she was just nervous. You are a world famous Wonderbolt after all.” Fleet reasoned.

“Hah! Why would she be nervous? One of the best friends of a princess, only pony who can do a sonic rainboom, not to mention really, really cute... I should have been the nervous one! And maybe I would have been, if she wasn't so dull!”

“Uh, ok?” Fleet widened her eyes as Soarin rambled.

“And that! She answered everything with a question! Ugh, so irritating...” Soarin sighed.

“Well, I'm guessing you don't want to find her again... Why don't we go find spitfire?” Fleet pulled him onto his hooves with a grunt. “Ugh, you’ve been eating too many pies.”

“Yeah sure. But I also pretty much promised Rainbow Dash a dance later! Knowing her she's gonna come find me. Bleh.” Soarin stuck his tongue out as he trotted after Fleetfoot- who was still flirting with every stallion they passed- to go find their missing friend.

“Yeah, the thing is you don't really know her! Maybe she's actually great! From what I've seen, Rainbow’s a pretty talented flyer, potentially a future Wonderbolt!” Fleet reasoned while brushing her tail across a random stallions face, leaving him staring.

“Uh, no thank you! If she becomes a Wonderbolt with us...” Soarin trailed off, spotting Spitfire straight ahead of them.

“There you guys are!” She called as they came into earshot. “So Soarin, how'd it go with Rainbow Dash?”

Soarin took a deep breath. “Well...”


“Would you care to dance m'lady?” A grey earth pony had walked up to where Rainbow and her friends where gathered after she had finished her Soarin story.

“Oh, no thank you sir. My hooves are much too sore-“ Rarity was cut off by the stallion.

"Um, I was talking to her." He pointed to Rainbow Dash.

“Oh. Ah, I knew that of course, heh, I was just-“ Rarity spluttered before turning and quickly trotting away.

“Me?” Rainbow couldn't help but snicker at Rarity’s reaction.

“Why of course m'lady. Is that a yes?” He held out a hoof.

“Heh, I guess so...” She took his hoof and followed him onto the dance floor. Maybe this will get my mind of a certain dumb Wonderbolt...

“My name is Storm Flash.” The stallion spoke over the classical music coming from the live band.

“I'm Rainbow Dash.” She replied, shaking her mane out of her face.

“Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful mare.” He began to lead her in a slow dance. Rainbow couldn't hold her snickers in. Was he for real? So cheesy... She was too busy laughing at Storm Flash's cheesiness that she completely missed what he said next.

“Huh? I mean, pardon?“ Dash asked, leaning her ear in so she could hear him better. I should probably be polite. He is a Canterlot elite….

“I said, do you want to get outta here? I'm staying in a hotel just down the street. We could go... Have some fun.” He wiggled his eyebrows. Rainbow quickly recoiled and stared at him.

“Excuse me?“ She scrunched her eyes, still not sure if she was hearing him right.

“We could go grab a couple of your friends, if that's what you’re into.” He leaned in towards Dash's face again.

“Um, no.” She replied flatly, leaning away again. “You can get your creepy ass outta here by yourself!” She began trotting away, weaving through the ponies on the dance floor.

“Aw come on Dashie!” He followed.

“Don't call me that.” She turned towards him again, eyes flashing. The only pony she allowed to call her Dashie was Pinkie, and that was because she couldn't convince her not to.

“Oh, feisty.” Storm flash commented, wiggling his eyebrows again.

“Aw gross! Leave before I go all sonic rainboom on your ass!” She replied, her temper starting to flare up.

“Sonic rainboom? Sounds good.“ He sauntered closer. Rainbow looked around for her friends, and instead spotted a large sculpture by the buffet table. One that looked familiar. It was the same statue that she had caught last year, and ended up causing a lot of damage with. An idea popped into her head. Sure, it was a stupid idea but eh, it was all she had. She began to trot towards it, Storm Flash following behind, still being a creep.

“Where are you going Dashie?” He smirked, seeing that they had reached the buffet table. Rainbow shuffled her body towards the statue.

“Hmm, Twilight is so going to kill me.“ She muttered.

“What was that? Changed your mind yet?” Storm heard her muttering. “Who's Twilight?”

“Um, yeah sure. I changed my mind. Just stay there for a second.” Rainbow internally gagged. This dude was so nasty!

“Oh, sure. You want to get a good look at the Storm, don't you.” He grinned and bounced his eyebrows.

“Yeah… totally.” Rainbow shuddered. Ew! She shuffled so she was slightly behind the statue.

Storm flash started to pose, flexing his muscles and smirking. “Yeah girl, get a good look.”

“Uh, yep!” She glanced around, her front right hoof directly behind the statue now. Ugh, Twilight is definitely gonna make me reshelf her library or organize her reports or some other egghead thing… She pushed against the statue and it began to tip… Storm stood completely oblivious, still trying to show off his muscles.


All heads turned to Rainbow Dash’s direction, Storm flash’s tail now pinned under the statue.

“Oops...” Rainbow smiled weakly at the crowd that was now forming around the fallen statue. I am so dead. She very slowly began to inch away from the crowd, hoping she wouldn`t see any of her friends.

“RAINBOW DASH!” bellowed a voice from the other side of the ballroom.

“SORRY TWILIGHT, GOTTA GO! BYE!” Rainbow hollered back, before turning and flying out as fast as she could. Only when she got outside did she allow herself to burst out laughing, remembering the stupid expression on Storm Flash’s creepy face, his ass stuck under a huge statue. “He was asking for it,” She chuckled to herself. “But I’m gonna be in deep crap when Twilight finds me…” she started heading towards Donut Joes, because it was one of the few places in Canterlot that she knew of. “Might as well get a donut out of this night.”


“What was that?” Soarin asked, after a huge crash had shaken the entire ballroom.

“I have no idea…” Spitfire shrugged.

“RAINBOW DASH!” A very angry sounding voice yelled out.

“That was definitely Princess Twilight,” Fleet commented, cocking one ear up.

“SORRY TWILIGHT, GOTTA GO! BYE!” another voice shouted.

“And that… was Rainbow Dash.” Soarin muttered, as he and the other ‘Bolts watched a cyan and rainbow blur fly into the night.

“Well, you’ve gotta admit,” Fleet spoke, noticing Soarin’s flat expression. “Whenever she’s at an event, it certainly gets… lively.”

“Ha! You can say that again! First, the gala last year, then the whole “Oh no, falling to our deaths” thing at the Best Young Flyers competition, a Changeling attack at the Royal wedding, the “Trying to get her on our team instead of Soarin” at the Equestria Games… Sorry about that bud.” Spitfire glanced over at Soarin.

“Well, now that she left, this party is dead. Can we leave?” Fleet hopped up and down, antsy to go spread her wings.

“Well, we did make an appearance… the paparazzi got some pictures of us here…” Spitfire mused, her wingmates eagerly waiting for her decision. “I guess we can go now.”

“YES! THOSE ARE THE WORDS I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL NIGHT!” Fleet shrieked, already heading towards the door.

“You seemed to be having too much fun with those poor stallions to leave before,” Spitfire snickered as she and Soarin followed her outside.
As they stepped out into the cool night air, they stopped.

“Well, back to headquarters?” Soarin asked, stretching his wings.

“Nooo, not yet! Please can we go get donuts?” Fleet whined, making a pouty face at Spitfire.

“We have personal chefs back at HQ, they can make you some donuts Fleet.” Spitfire patted her friends face with her wing.

“But there not the same as Donut Joe's donuts!” Fleet fell to the ground dramatically. “Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a donut on top?”

“Fine. But you’re paying.” Spitfire smirked as she took to the air.

“No I am not! But YAY!”

Soarin smiled at his two friends as they headed towards their destination. Might as well get a donut out of this night…

Author's Note:

Because donuts are good. And Storm Flash is weird.