• Published 8th Dec 2014
  • 3,483 Views, 182 Comments

"The Name's Dash" - calmcalmcalm

Soarin and Rainbow Dash have met several times before, but alas have yet to fall in love. When they both try to change this in very different ways, things get funny.

  • ...

"Rough Night..."

"Hey Soar, rough night?” a voice spoke to Soarin’s left. He was currently sitting in the cafeteria at the Wonderbolt HQ’s and was picking at his breakfast.

“Oh, hey Lightning.” Soarin looked up and saw one of his teammates, a pale blue stallion by the name of Lightning Streak.

“Rough night?” He repeated, looking over Soarin’s appearance. “You’re a mess. And by that, I mean more than usual.”

“Heh, you can say that again.” The bags under Soarin’s eyes were very prominent, his mane was a complete mess, and he had a large bruise on his cheek where Fleetfoot punched him.

“Care to elaborate?” Lightning set his tray down and sat across from Soarin. “Remember, Captain Spitfire gave us the day off today, we can go hit the gym or something!”

“Not especially,” Soarin replied to Lightning’s first question. “And yeah, sounds cool. Lemme finish breakfast first.”

“Hey dude! How’s your cheek feeling today?” Fleetfoot trotted towards their table, balancing a breakfast tray on an outstretched wing. “Hey Lightning!”

Soarin glanced at her. “How does it look?” he turned to show her the bruise.

“Oh! I really got you good, didn’t I?” she started giggling. Lightning reached out and grabbed her tray off her wing, already knowing what was going to happen. Fleet’s giggling got louder and louder, and eventually she tipped over, rolling on the floor.

“Every time.” Lightning placed her tray next to his. “Wait, did she give you that?” he pointed at Soarin’s bruise.

“Yeah. She’s kind of a bitch.” Soarin shot a look at his friend, who was still laughing on the ground.

“Wow, she sure can punch…” Lightning shook his blond mane out of his eyes, looking impressed. “She must be stronger than she looks!”

“Hell yeah I am!” she called from the ground. “Did you doubt me?”

“Of course not Fleet, I just meant you are delicate looking, a very beautiful mare.” He smirked.

“I am NOT delicate!” she jumped on him, tackling him to the floor.

“Whoa! I didn’t mean! Wait, Fleet! NO!” They started wrestling, rolling around and knocking over chairs.

“Ooo! Pony pile!” a high pitched voice called out. A white mare started bouncing towards them, her curly yellow mane bouncing behind her.

“Surprise!” Lightning called out. “No, help me get her off!” he tried to get out of Fleetfoot’s grasp, but failed.

“No can do!” Surprise squeaked. “SURPRISE!” she jumped in, joining the impromptu cage match.

Soarin stood up at this point. This was not the first time this had happened, and Spitfire was NOT going to be happy. They had stayed late at Donut Joe’s the night before, having a break from training to just catch up as friends, but Spitfire got REAL grumpy if she didn’t get enough sleep.
“I’ve gotta get outta here before she gets here!” Soarin muttered to himself, trotting towards the doors. “Spit’s gonna be so pissed!”

“I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT TODAY!” a voice roared from behind him. He turned around, seeing Fleetfoot, Lightning and Surprise lying on the floor, looking up at an angry Spitfire. “Lightning! Surprise! Go do something productive!” she barked, causing the two mentioned ponies to get to their hooves and scurry away, giggling. “Fleetfoot! Go find Soarin, I want both your asses in my office in five minutes!” she trotted away, back in the direction of her office.

Fleetfoot hovered over to Soarin, kicking him as she passed. “Hey you! Captain Spitty McGrumpy Pants wants us in her office!”

“I heard.” Soarin said flatly, glancing up at her. “What are we in trouble for this time?”

“Who knows…” Fleet giggled as the two made their way to Spitfire’s office.

When they got there, Soarin reached towards Fleet’s face and grabbed her cheeks with his hooves. He pulled her towards the door, and using her head, knocked on the door lightly.

“Ow, ow, ow!” she complained. A voice sounded from inside of the office.

“Come in! And you better not be using Fleetfoot’s head to knock again Soarin! She doesn’t need any more brain dam- I mean, come in!”

“Uh, what was that Spitty?” Fleet asked, raising an eyebrow Spitfire as they entered the office.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The yellow mare replied flatly, looking over the brim of her sunglasses. “Sit down, I’ve got an idea I want to run past you…”


“Huh?!” Rainbow sat up in bed. “What’s that noise?”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“The hell?” Rainbow groggily stood up, having just been woken up. “Tank, if that’s you running yourself into the fridge again… that’s not you open it!” she shook her head, trying to stay alert.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Oh, it’s the door!” Dash left her room and trotted down the stairs. “Ugh, it better not be Derpy hoof-delivering mail again… I have a mail-box for a reason!” she continued down the hallway, through the living room and past the kitchen.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Hold on, I’m coming!” Dash was almost at the door when an odd thought popped into her head. “Whoa, my door is made of cloud, how does it make sound when ponies knock?”

“When somepony knocks, the sound is reverberated around the cloud until it is released as sound. It’s almost like small claps of thunder.” A matter of fact voice sounded through the door.

“Oh, thanks! That’s interes- Oh… hey Twi…” Dash pulled open the door, spotting who was behind it. “Y’know what’s funny? I totally forgot you could fly…” Rainbow chuckled nervously, backing into her house.

“Yeah, well I didn’t.” Twilight marched forward. “And I want answers young lady!”

“Ok, yeah, I totally get that. But I’m actually 2 months older than you so-” Rainbow was cut off, now fully backed into her wall.

“Why did you ruin the gala AGAIN, almost severely injure somepony, and then run away?” Twilight began questioning her sharply.

“Well-” Dash was cut off again.

“Not to mention embarrass me in front of Princess Celestia?!”

“Yeah, sorry about that. But-”

“And the rest of the Canterlot elite?!”

“Ok, sure, but-”

“And then go get a donut? Seriously Rainbow Dash?”

“Well, I didn’t actually BUY a donut because I’m broke but-”

“Well? I’m waiting for an answer!” Twilight snapped.

“Kay, well if you would stop interrupting me maybe I could answer!” Dash retorted.

“I didn’t interrupt you!” the lavender alicorn stared at her.

“Yeah. You did. But whatever. Well, it was a rough night… Some pervy guy was trying to get all up on this rainbow, and I did not appreciate that, so I was like “Hey, awesome idea Dash, drop a huge ass statue on him, then he’ll leave you alone!” so I did that, and then I was all “Oh crap, that was probably a shitty idea” so I left. And I was hungry and the only food place I know in Canterlot was Donut Joe’s and I love donuts y’know? So I went there and ran into Vinyl and Neon, who I’m pretty sure you don’t know but that’s ok. So we were chillin’ and then BAM! In walked the Wonderbolts! Whom I embarrassed myself in front of AGAIN, plus Soarin’s dumb and Vinyl was being a bitch and magic-ed us so we were having a staring contest and then Fleetfoot punched him in the face! It was awesome. And then I realised I had no money, so I went to go home but then I saw you guys and I was all like “Whoa, my friends! Who probably hate me at the moment!” So I left again. And then I was tired so I went home and went to sleep. And then in the morning, you knocked on my door and started freaking out, so then I started explaining what happened and here we are.” Dash explained, all in one breath.

“Wow. Ok. First, I have no idea how you just said all that without breathing, I’m impressed. Second, that was a pretty bad idea… But you’re also the mare who thought kicking a dragon in the face was smart so I’m not surprised. Third, I missed most of what you said after that.” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“What I meant to say was… I’m sorry that I wrecked the Gala again, and that I embarrassed you in front of all of those fancy ponies.” Rainbow looked at the cloud ground, shuffling her hooves.

“Rainbow… I’ve literally never heard you apologise to anypony! I’m touched…” Twilight put a hoof on her friends shoulder. “I can’t stay mad at you!”

“Thanks Twi, and I really am sorry. I was stupid and reckless.”

“What else is new?” Twilight snickered.

“Excuse me egghead? Was that you trying to make a joke?” Rainbow glanced over at her, unable to contain her laughter. “You are NOT funny!”

“Why are you laughing then?” Twilight grinned. “Wanna go get brunch with the rest of the girls? Their at Pinkie’s place right now.”

“Yeah, sounds awesome! Race you to Sugercube Corner!” She shot through her door, which they had left open.

“Rainbow, you know you’re going to win! Ugh, why does she insist on racing me…?” Twilight sighed at her friend, following the rainbow trail through the air.


“Ponyville? Where the hell is that?” Fleetfoot scrunched her face at Spitfire.

“It’s a small town just south of here. About a half hour flight.” The captain explained.

“Ok, let me get this straight. You want us to take a vacation?” Soarin asked, bewildered.

“Yes. We three are the lead squad of the Wonderbolts. I don’t want us to get overworked, and not be able to perform to our best ability. We’re going to take a week off, and just… relax.” She explained.

“You’ve never given us a vacation before… won’t the other Wonderbolts be pissed?” Fleet was still confused.

“We’re going to leave early tomorrow morning, they won’t even realise we’re gone until it’s too late.” Spitfire smirked. “The lead squad works the hardest, we deserve a break.”

“That sounds… AWESOME!” Soarin whooped.

“The best part is Mayor Mare of Ponyville let me know that she’ll set up residence for us in a local home, so we don’t draw too much attention.” Spitfire smiled.

“Rest and relaxation, here we come!” Fleet exclaimed, bouncing up and down in her seat.

“Ponyville… Why do I feel like I know somepony from there?” Soarin wracked his brain, trying to remember why that town sounded so familiar. “Hmm…”


“Hey party ponies!” Rainbow touched down in front of the open door of Sugercube Corner. She trotted towards the table her friends were seated at.

“Hey Dashie!”


“Darling, glad you could join us!”


She was welcomed by her friends various greetings.

“Hey, where’s Twilight?” Pinkie noticed their friend’s absence.

“Hah! She’s eating my dust, that’s where she is!” Dash boasted, plopping into a seat next to Fluttershy.

“Another race? Really RD, you know you’re gonna beat her every time.” Applejack chuckled.

“Eh, that’s part of the fun!” Rainbow leaned her chair back, fluttering her wings to stay balanced. At that moment, Mayor Mare trotted in.

“Rainbow Dash! I’ve been looking all over town for you!” she cantered over.

“Uh, am I in trouble?” Rainbow gulped. Maybe she noticed that I’ve been crapping out on weather duties...

“No! Not at all! In fact, I’ve got good news for you! You have a rather large home, don’t you?” she tilted her head, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah…” Dash had no idea where this was going.

“Well, Ponyville has some rather exciting celebrities coming in for a week-long vacation. I figured since you have plenty of room, you could take them in!” She looked excitedly at Rainbow.

“Um, yeah, I guess so?! Who exactly are these ‘exciting celebrities’? Dash asked. “And when are they coming?”

“The Wonderbolts, and tomorrow morning!” Mayor Mare turned towards the door. “Thanks Rainbow Dash, I knew I could count on you! Now I must be leaving, goodbye girls!” she trotted out the door.

“The Wonderbolts…. Are going to be staying at my house?!?!” Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Did I hear her right?”

“You sure did Sugercube, but doesn’t that include Soarin?” Applejack turned to her friend.

“The Wonderbolts, at my house….” Dash blinked, not hearing Applejack. “Shit, Soarin at my house. The Wonderbolts and Soarin, yes, he is a Wonderbolt. Who’s staying at my house.” She began to ramble, swaying slightly.

“Darling, are you alright?” Rarity asked, looking worriedly around. At that moment Twilight appeared at the door.

“I’m… Sorry… I’m late…” Twilight gasped, tired from her ‘speedy’ flight. “Why… did… Rainbow just pass out?”

The other girls glanced over, gasping as they saw the cyan Pegasus sprawled on the floor.
“I’m seriously concerned about that mare’s mental well-being.” Twilight shook her head, taking a seat.

“We all are darling. Did you find out why she dropped that statue on that poor stallion last night?” Rarity looked towards Twilight.

“Well… nope.” She rolled her eyes, remembering Rainbow’s explanation from earlier that morning. “Something about a… DJ I think?”

“Oh, I totally get it!” Pinkie cried. “That makes sense!”

Everypony else just looked at her, more confused than ever.


Author's Note:

Here the next chapter is! So, some ponies are headed to Ponyville for a little R&R... :trollestia: And a side story featuring a certain DJ is in the works! Coming soon....