...And That's All Folks!
The new edifices glistened like a thousand diamonds in the sunlight. Two large, rectangular towers stood as sentinels to the cave entrance below. A large, ebony gate with swirling roses intimidated any would-be raiders. The walls itself were twenty blocks thick if it was made of bricks. But changelings almost nearly made everything different. Blending the rock together in a chemical mixture that still puzzles architects today, the metal was put through a cement-like process to form a round, natural semi-circle wall, where a simple stone fence protected those who guarded above.
Every day, three changelings patrolled the gate, clad in large helmets that protected their backs from harm. Each was armed with a sharpened ebony spear dipped in paralysis and their own horn. The new class of warrior, known as sentries, were organized similarly with that of the Changeling Armada. However, they were still small in stature and not nearly a capable military power. Yet, the hive was secured down to its core with traps and devices set up by the Praetorian Guard should someone get by the gate. Legions led by Praetorian Centurions made hexagon patterns around hive complexes, practicing drills monthly for different situations.
Everyday, Two Centurions flanked the Queen's throne, armed with a spear and rigged ebony shield. Many of the guards stationed around the hive had either joined the new guard or had been reassigned to outposts in the colonies to assist the changelings living there. The Praetorian Guard was getting there, and soon the Queen predicted that in several generations the number of volunteers could rise to 100. But until that day, the Hive would rely its safety and security to 30 rag-tag, possibly ill-suited, changelings and their disillusioned commander.
%%%%
And so it was on one of these particular nights that a certain changeling was wandering her way towards the cave entrance, humming a tune she had grown accustomed to singing. So far, Mirror Match had had a wonderful time with her fellow friends Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie had decided to give away her favorite party cannon to Mirror, who took it upon herself to get it fixed by one of the hives shifty mechanical merchants.
As she approached the gargantuan ebony gate however, a thunderous voice bellowed, "WHO GOES THERE!?"
Mirror forze in her tracks. She looked up at the gate, but could only see the moonlight being reflected off a helmet of some sort. She had heard of the Hive placing up new defenses in light of the peace, but she was only expecting a guard at the door. Surely this was overcompensating for something.
"Uh...hello there?" Mirror called. "It's me Mirror Match?"
"MIRROR MATCH!" the voice boomed, "WHAT'S THE PASSWORD?"
"Password?" Mirror Match asked, tilting her head, "nobody told me of a pass-"
"THEN YOU CAN-NOT ENTER!"
"But that's not fair!"
"Well perhaps I can let you off if you answer these three questions."
Mirror Match thought for a second. Perhaps she could answer the questions correctly, or end up in the dungeons. Either way, she really had nothing to lose.
"Okay."
"First, what is your name?"
Well that's a stupid question. Perhaps I shall answer them all! "My name is Mirror Match."
"What is your quest?"
"To get inside these gates!" Mirror's nostrils where now venting out steam.
"What...is the national monument in Las Pegasus?"
Oh that's it! Mirror suddenly whirled out the party cannon, aimed the sights down near the helmet, and fired.
BOOM!
"AHHHHHHHH!!! NOT AGAIN!"
The guard fell off the wall and onto the ground, his body covered with cake mix as he slowly rose to his feet. Mirror could now see he was about her height, although his armor probably made him look bigger. His blue eyes were blazing at the changeling now, wings buzzing in irritation.
"It's just a question! And how did you come across that weapon?"
"It was given to me," Mirror stated in a matter of fact voice.
"Because I was shot by one of those things before in the invasion..."
The memory flashed in Mirror's mind. This must have been the changeling she fired upon under the table on accident. She hadn't given the incident much thought, but now that said changeling was in front of her, being her bridge from the desert to the shelter of the hive, she quickly kicked the cannon behind her.
"I had no idea that something like that happened to you!"
The changeling wiped some of the cake off his face, revealing two saber-like fangs. His helmet had two, sort of wing-like fans that extended from the back of the helmet in an upwards ascension. The front of the ebony helmet led into a curve that ended in a tip 1 inch away from his snout. Judging from the royal symbol adorning his chest plate, she could already tell he was the Commander of the Guard.
"Well, I'm friends with some of the Elements of Harmony and she gave me this. I didn't know how to handle it so..."
The changeling cocked what would have been his eyebrow, his eyes squinting at the changeling in suspicion. "And you just happened to be sitting on the trigger when it went off?"
"Yes."
"Because," the guard sneered, "the pony, or should I say changeling, who fired a cannon at me disguised as Daring Do..."
Mirror could feel her body perspire in front of the guard, whose tone only grew with fury.
"-and I swore to myself that if I ever found that changeling I would-"
"Okay," Mirror raised her hooves in defeat, "You caught me! I fired the cannon in your face, but in reality it was on accident. Besides, it was your fault for being an eavesdropper."
Now the commander's eyes widened. "I was not eavesdropping! I was surviving!"
Mirror simply glared at the changeling for a long time before he mumbled. "You can go on in."
With an appreciative smile, Mirror skipped in with her cannon. The Commander's eyes followed the cannon with pure malice. Why if I ever get the chance I'll destroy that cannon and-
BOOM!
The Commander once again found himself drenched in cake mix. Swiveling his head to stare at Mirror, the changeling apologetically lifted her hooves, saying, "Must have gone off again! Sorry."
Morpheus simply facehoofed himself before climbing the stairwell back to the top of the wall. As he approached the guard's entrance, a sentry hastily bashed his way out, the black wooden door slamming right into the Commander's face.
"Oh sorry," the changeling apologized, before doubling back to stare at his supreme officer, "is that cake on your face?"
Morpheus merely mumbled something about no respect or humor in this job before stepping inside. As for the sentry however, he merrily continued on his way to his post, where he would resume his shift till someone else took over.
%%%%
The Guard's Chambers was a hollowed out cavern filled with racks for the guard's helmets and spears. The room was more like a hallway than anything else. Adjacent to the corridor, there was another, slightly smaller cavern. Inside, the room was adorned with a withered down desk in the center, a mahogany shelf on the right, and a rusty old filing cabinet brimming with hoof-written papers. On the shelf, laid a large collection of Daring Do books, down to the latest installment of the series. The desk itself was wobbly on its uneven peg legs, but it was stable enough to hold a wax candle, ink, cider, and a whoopee cushion. The only other pieces of furniture adorning the room was a hammock on the left and a swivel chair for his desk. It was an office in-development, but it was where Morpheus called home.
Adorned on the wall was a recent picture taken by a photographer visiting the Badlands. In the picture, the 30 sentries were arranged in rows, with Morpheus in the center. Someone had snuck into his office, however, and had left a crudely drawn moustache that Morpheus actually liked for once. To him, it made him seem professional. And it hid that stupid grin that he had shown when a sentry shoved him off balance.
As the Commander rested his body against the swivel chair, he spun around a few times lackadaisically, his eyes scanning the room. It had been a rather unproductive day today. Most of the daily routines included tracking down sentries who missed their schedules, which few, if ever, did. After that it was lounging in his office, going out to see the hive, deal with a few black market merchants, and then pull a few pranks here and there.
As he lounged in his office, he heard the sound of hoofsteps and immediately straightened his shoulders. "Come on in."
Chrysalis stepped in, her eyes observing with a disapproving eye. "I see you've gotten to redecorating your quarters Commander."
"Well," Morpheus shrugged, "I haven't finished just yet. I need to buy a few supplies to reinforce the defenses but going back on subject, what's up?"
"It is come to my attention that you could indeed use a vacation," the Queen motioned, "and since you seem to have nothing better to do then prank on my fellow changelings, perhaps you'd be gracious to your Queen if she allowed, I don't know, the weekend off?"
"I suppose I could use the time to buy some of those defenses," Morpheus murmured, "sure I'll take the vacation. Ummmmm, what's my budget though?"
"Considering the amount of sentries at your disposal, I'd say thirty bits should suffice."
"THRITY BITS?" Morpheus shrieked, "YOU CAN'T BUY AN APPLE FOR THIRTY STINKIN-"
But his argument abruptly faded at the glare Chrysalis gave him. "You'll have a great time Commander, I'll make sure to alert the Elements of Harmony of your arrival."
"There's no need for that," Morpheus hastily added, "I think I've made enough enemies to last a lifetime."
"If you insist," the Queen smiled, "but enjoy yourself none the less. After all, what's the worse you can do?"
"Don't jinx me now..." Morpheus warned.
"I would never." the Queen said innocently before leaving the Commander alone once more in his ramshackle office.
%%%%
Ponyville was just as festive as ever, considering the damage done in the invasion. Morpheus decided to make his bits count and bought a couple of sweets from the bakery, munching on them thoughtfully as he observed the warm wooden cottages and pristine shops filled with tin toys, carpentry tools, quilts, and sofas and quills. Wow, the baker sure has improved upon her craft, these choco-watermelon cupcakes are going to be a hit! I might just order some for the sentries back home. He pondered on this briefly before deciding they could get their own buckin cupcakes and that he would order a dozen just for himself.
Perhaps I could use one of those the changeling thought as he passed a shop displaying various fireworks. Great for warning the Queen, or even for a nice old prank that Retain once told me about-
OOF!
The changeling crashed into a buff royal guard, who gave the changeling a menacing stare. "Watch it buddy, or else I'll make an example out of you."
"You watch yourself," Morpheus hissed, before resuming his steady trot around the plaza. However, not before he overheard the guard mumbling "...filthy changeling." Every now and then, a pony would stare at him in disgust, still not accustomed to seeing a changeling. That and the fact he had chosen to wear his crested armor. The Praetorian Commander's armor was made of polished ebony, rimmed with red rubies found within the cave's mines. The blacksmith had crafted a pair of changeling wings that jutted off the back of the helm and curved at an angle inward. The chest plate was adorned with a circular crest. The crest itself was a shield with two changeling wings and a chrysalis in the center. The symbol of the Praetorian Guard.
As the changeling trotted along he came across a familiar unicorn, or should he say High-General. The changeling was in her unicorn disguise form, looking at the Commander in slight amusement. "Well, Commander, I didn't expect the guard to be off and about."
"Vacation." Morpheus blurted, bits of food escaping his mouth.
Double merely stared unconvinced. "Well for now I'll take your story, but I'm afraid conversations will have to wait. I'm on a play date with my foalhood friend. We're going to have so much fun!"
The last tone was too cheerful for Morpheus to take, but he merely hummed an agreement and waved goodbye with his hoof, thankful for the fact that the squishy dough was the barrier between a thousand insults and likely a thousand ways to be brutally murdered in broad daylight.
As he continued to walk down the street, he suddenly saw Haze sitting at a bench, sharing a smoothie with a purple earth pony. Haze had never been one to accept anything, as his paranoia prevented it. But the earth pony was stubborn and he knew Haze wouldn't last long.
Give in to it. Morpheus projected through the hive chat.
As he continued his stroll he managed to dodge a white unicorn carrying a load of materials on her back. However, that was little compared to her fellow changeling Print, who seemed to be wheezing under the weight.
"A thousand pardons mister..." Rarity began before abruptly halting.
"Hmmm?" Morpheus hummed.
"Well, aren't you that dashing rascal we caught just after the Canterlot Invasion? I believed you called yourself the Commander or something."
"Commander of the Guard," Morpheus hissed irritably, "and if I recall you're the unicorn that owes me a smoothie and a hot chocolate."
"Well you never did pay the tip."
"I was going to!" Morpheus proclaimed, "honest to the Queen I was. Or well, with rudimentary currency. But still-"
"Tsk tsk," Rarity interrupted, "not acceptable, although I must say your armor is just fabulous! Why the rubies do show your hot-tempered attitude but it needs something..."
"Well I don't have time to-"
But the unicorn shoved her hoof before he could utter another word. Meanwhile, Print was giving off warning stares that said do not engage.
"Ah-ha," Rarity proclaimed, "I have just the thing." Rummaging through her saddle bag, she pulled out a glowing crimson cape, where navy-blue felt ran its edges. A perfect match to Morpheus' armor. As she tied it over his chest, she made idle comments of how he wouldn't stand still and how this and that wouldn't work. But in the end, she seemed satisfied enough to give it an affirming stare.
"Well I suppose that fixes my IOU with you-"
"Commander Morpheus Bloom." Morpheus replied bitterly. Although his eyes kept darting to the side to examine the splendid cape.
"Yes well, just don't expect anymore favors darling. Ta-ta."
And with that, the caravan commenced on its pilgrimage to the boutique. As the Commander of the Guard-that's a mouthful- moved on longingly around the streets, he came upon a familiar sight. The very place that had been his sanctuary in Ponyville for so long. Now, however, it had been renovated slightly and the hole had been filled with new bricks.
Was it worth a peak? Morpheus thought
Definitely He finally agreed as he entered in through the ruby red doors.
"Sorry, no prisoner-"
But the guard stopped in mid-sentence. His stare was a mixture of anger and hate. Despite the peace now held between changelings and ponies, he had still not forgiven the Commander for his escape and attack on him.
"It takes a lot of nerve for you to show your face around here."
"Well last I heard, I believe I owe a couple of guards a story, but-" As Morpheus headed for the doorway, a large hoof stopped him and propelled him to the stool nearby Mags, who was just as animate as the book she was reading. Clyde, the prison warden, stood with a stern glare at the changeling.
"Well," he said cynically, "let's hear this."
And so Morpheus went on to explain the latter half of his adventures after escaping two bounties and being caught up in a ridiculous invasion. He even told them about the lie he had been believing in for the last week or so and how he had lost much of his pride back there. At last, he got to the part where he had fought Carbon, and then subsequently being promoted to his new position of Commander of the Guard.
"That title sounds silly," Clyde finally said after a momentary silence, "but still, it looks like you went through Tartarus and back son."
"I could say the same for yourself," Morpheus replied. Clyde only replied with an affirmative humph.
"Though I'm sure your name isn't Commander," the other guard interjected, "so what is your real name?"
"Morpheus, and you?"
"Star Wing," the pegasus handed his hoof to properly shake the Commander's hoof. "And it seems that the Queen is still a little messed up in the membrane considering how she elected you to be in charge of the defenses of all things..."
The Commander puffed out his chest. "I am more then well-equipped for the job! Why, just ask my fellow subordinates!"
"I think all of us can agree we won't be doing that." Clyde let out a chuckle before resuming his stare at the Commander. "Well I suppose that if your story is correct, then we don't have much of a problem, though-"
"When will you return?" Star Wing asked hopefully. Despite his initial enmity towards the changeling, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of the old friendship they may have had before the invasion. Like Clyde, both had been deceived by their leaders, forced into jobs they didn't like, and yet, they took them without question. Was it perhaps because they recognized the need to do one's duty? Was it perhaps an act of loyalty, of trust, of perhaps even hope that while they may not be serving in the way they had previously imagined, they still believed that any duty was something worth doing if it helped their species respectively?
"Well," Morpheus hinted, "I'm off for the weekend so..."
"Perhaps you'd like to go on patrol with us?" Clyde asked warmly, something that surprised every pony in the room, including Mags, who had been sleeping through this entire ordeal.
"Perhaps I could fancy a good patrol," Morpheus agreed enthusiastically, "given the little amount in my wallet, and the delectable array of goodies surrounding this fair town-"
"We'll pick some stuff up at Pinkie's bakery later," Clyde smiled, "but in the meantime, let's just go out for a stroll. I heard the weather finally got warmer and that there are some pony racists out there that could use a hoof or two to settle down."
"Why I'll give them both my hind legs!" Morpheus bellowed, causing both guards to laugh.
"Yeah, well keep the violence down okay?" Star Wing said.
"No promises." Morpheus let out a grin before setting off to the door with the two guards in tow. As Mags watched on with the corner of her eye, her lips formed a small smile. It was a smile that she rarely gave, and one that she rarely meant. It was a smile she gave when she was married. It was a smile she had given to her foal twins when she gave birth. And now it was a smile of the times ahead. Though they would still be tough, they were better then before. Perhaps, there was still hope. After all, changeling or not, there would always be a need for guards. Watchful sentinels who guarded the land like stars in the night.
And that's all that folks need. Because with or without their knowing, they bring about the best and worst in all of us.
And so on that night, the three guards partied like there was no tomorrow, and overdosed on donuts and coco-watermelon cupcakes. It was a night they would never forget, but forgot all together due to the overdose. However, who could blame them? By the time the week started again, they would all be back on duty.
The End.
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Daaaaw. Well, I enjoyed it. Shame it has to end though.
This song !
The party canon is watching you...
Seeing all those references to the end of Smoke and Mirrors was such fun for me to read; especially the part with Mirror and her party cannon! That is so getting used in the sequel, by the way!
And it looks like this story has finally come to an end. It was a fun ride, though, that's for sure, and I'm hoping you'll write something else about the Commander in the future! Thanks for the great read!
1933207
First: YEEEEEESSSS!!!!!! I look forward to seeing a reference to the Commander!
Second: I am glad you've enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Yay for first complete story of the year! Well It's been a pleasure and I can't wait for the next update to Smoke and Mirrors!
Ooh, a shout out. Didn't expect that, thanks!
Glad to be of inspiration.
Song choices to end... hmm. I'll get back to you on that one.
Now, get working on a sequel!
2167739
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/84988.jpg?1361656026
You sir win a standing ovation.
Stumbled across this when it updated for your list of further works. I realize this is 27 weeks late, but I'll see what I can do.
I want to start out by saying that it shone in the first several chapters, and in the very end. Keep that in mind before you get into the wall-of-text criticism, because most of it applies to the middle chunk of it.
Alright, the first thing I saw in this story is that you need an editor. There were a lot of grammatical issues, awkward sentencing and word choice (“TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!” Morpheus...moaned?), and other presentation goofs. They're not story-breaking, but they do make it more difficult to read when the bigger things crop up.
Throughout the story, there were two of those bigger things.
The first didn't happen for a few chapters. You introduced some dudes, developed them well. And then a few chapters in, all of a sudden you unleashed this storm of side characters without properly introducing or taking the time to develop almost any of them. Some of them we were lucky enough to know from Smoke and Mirrors, but most were just new names with nothing attached to them, and it took several chapters to even work out who was working with who, much less why any of them were worth remembering (my conclusion by the end of the story is that half of them weren't and could have been replaced by nameless supporting thugs or one-sceners, or even altogether omitted with very little lost). I realize we're dealing with a race where the physical descriptions are pretty much all going to be the same, but at least give us more than a handful of paragraphs alone with them to paint a personality, and preferably give them an impact on the story strong enough to warrant allocating brain space for them for the whole story.
In large part because of that, the fight scenes throughout the second half of the story got very hard to follow. You bounced between the subsections and factions of the battle very quickly and without always properly compartmentalizing them. It wasn't always clear who was where beyond the one or two main protagonists, mostly because the protagonists were the only ones developed well enough that we knew what they were even trying to accomplish in the first place and whose side they were on -- the rest just kind of wandered around aimlessly getting into fights with ponies, which doesn't really tell me anything, since there are like three different changeling factions flying around and the ponies are attacking all of them in a panic. After having read through the whole thing I'm still not entirely sure whose side most of your OC supporting cast was on. It got muddled further when a couple of them appeared to have a very quick and unmemorable change of heart (Thresh's seemed to come out of nowhere), or when factions that aren't strictly at odds jump at each other's throats for some reason (the stragglers from this story, versus Chrysalis et al from the conclusion of Smoke and Mirrors who are at this point presumably seeking armistice). At one point Double had Carbon prisoner, and then just kind of wandered off and left him unattended to have it out with the Commander in what she later described as just to teach him a lesson. There were a lot of unnecessary scenes that seemed to serve no other purpose than screen time for the sake of screen time (for instance, whats-their-faces hanging out at Zecora's -- the fact that I can't even remember which squad of whats-their-faces it was should tell you how relevant and worth remembering they came off). And apparently the Matriarch spent like six chapters with her council menacingly walking forward a couple meters to kill her, which sounds like an Austin Powers gag. I'm still not really sure what her deal was; she was just kinda...there and apparently Thresh worked for her, but neither her subplot nor Thresh's had a payoff big or relevant enough to warrant their screen time.
And then after the battle was over and you were into the aftermath and epilogue, most of that cleared right up again. You spent those focusing almost entirely on characters we knew really well.
You have a good story in here, but you need an editor pretty badly to help you pace yourself, prioritize characters, clarify your sideplot machinations, clean up the prose a bit, and deliver it with the punch it deserves.
Liked it, a lot. Glad to see that commander is indeed needed in the hive and that he chose to stay in home, but still be friends with some ponies.
Cya
Raziel-chan