• Published 25th Nov 2014
  • 1,628 Views, 19 Comments

Being You - bahatumay

Applejack and Rainbow Dash decide to settle a bet about who works harder by recruiting changelings to imponyate each other.

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Deep Thoughts

Author's Note:

Original idea by Posted.

The mark of true friends is just how comfortable they are with each other. For example, a good friend will ask if you have any food; a true friend will already have emptied your fridge by the time you notice they’re inside your house. A good friend will tell jokes with you; a true friend will tell jokes about you to your face.

Also, true friends always share their cider. No matter how late at night it is.

This is why Rainbow Dash and Applejack were currently drinking cider together in the barn at around midnight. As it often did, the conversation turned somewhat competitive.

This time, however, it also turned somewhat personal.

“You have it real easy, you know that?” Applejack said suddenly.

“Me?” Rainbow slurred. “Nah. I’ve got boatloads of paperwork and I’m paying half my salary in insurance. You’re the one who has it good, with your tons of good food and breaks whenever you want…”

“Excuse you,” Applejack snorted. “I run the risk of tweakin’ off the whole town if I don’t get my work done.”

“And I have to put up with that every day,” Rainbow retorted. “Something bad happens with the weather, even if it’s just a little accident? It’s the pegasi. Always the pegasi. Blame the pegasi. Sue the pegasi. And you’ve complained about it, too, so don’t even deny it.”

“I’m not denyin’ it,” Applejack snapped, turning slightly red and not just from what she was drinking. “I’m just sayin’ that I’d rather put up with a day of lousy weather than go hungry all winter. My stakes are bigger.”

Rainbow could not think of a good thing to say back to that, so she went with a classic comeback. “Yeah? Well, your rump is bigger, too.”

Applejack’s thrown mug bounced off Rainbow’s head, but Rainbow was nonplussed. “Look, I’m sayin’ I could totally wear your ponyshoes for a bit, that’s all.”

Applejack choked on her cider. She pounded her chest as her coughing subsided. “Wear my-! All that cider must've gone straight to your brain. You ain't got what it takes to be me. Now you? Any half-witted fool could be you.”

“Maybe the cider's gone to your brain!” Rainbow really wasn't much for good comebacks when she was drunk. “All you do is kick trees and eat apples.”

“So what? You want us to switch places for a week or something?” Applejack challenged as she grabbed another mug. “Dye our coats and…?”

“Nah,” Rainbow slurred. “That’s too easy. Sounds like a bad story or something.”

Applejack finished her drink. “So what?” she asked. “We get somepony else to imponyate us?”

“That might work,” Rainbow murmured. “I train somepony to be you, and you train somepony to be me. First trainee to give up… no, wait…” She took another drink. “That wouldn’t make any sense. We’d need, like, a new pony, one that didn’t know either of us. Everypony in Ponyville and the greater surrounding area knows how awesome I am.”

“And how big your ego is,” Applejack muttered.

Rainbow pretended not to hear. “So all we need is a couple of new ponies.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not havin’ a foal for this contest,” Applejack insisted.

Rainbow choked on her drink and coughed uncontrollably. Eventually, she managed to regain control. “Nothing like that,” she said. “Like, maybe we got like changelings or something. We each train one to be each other, and the one who trains the first one that gets caught loses.”

Applejack laughed. “Changelings? Yeah, right. I’ll go put a want ad in the paper and see if any of ‘em show up.”

“I swear, they're around,” Rainbow insisted. “In fact, I've seen one.”


“Yeah. I saw a pony that looked like Berry Punch standing in the park, playing catch with her daughter, and she didn't look drunk.”

Applejack threw another mug at her, once again scoring a direct hit. “You insensitive featherhead, she's trying to clean up her act, which is more than I can say for you.”

“My act can stay dirty,” Rainbow slurred. “I'm cleaning up the cider.” She demonstrated this by throwing back her head and draining the rest of her mug.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “I'm cuttin' you off,” she said.

This seemed to sober Rainbow up slightly. She sat up, horrified. “What? No! What would you do something like that for?”

“Barrel's empty,” Applejack said, tipping it over and demonstrating.

Rainbow groaned. “You can just go get another one,” she said. “Hay, I'll go get another one!” She stood up, took two steps… and then collapsed, fast asleep.

Applejack chuckled. “Lightweight birdbrain,” she muttered. She dragged a saddle blanket over her prone form and headed back into the farmhouse.