Odds and Ends.

by Redstargazer

Ch4: Perchance to Dream [unedited]

James felt like he might lose his lunch at any moment. Or at least as much as one could as a mentally constructed illusion.

James had just saved Princess Luna, Princess of the Moon, protector of Dreamers, and one of his favorite ponies from the show. Anyone in his shoes would be stoked to be here right? Well, he wasn’t anyone. All he could think about how their first meeting went south and whether she was going to send him to the moon afterward.

For starters, the threat he had to save her from was a deranged thought process from his own mind. Afterwards, a mental image of Anthony Hopkins issued a thinly veiled threat to eat her before James’ own mouth shot off as he tried come up with something intelligent to say. Then there was that little half-bow he gave her that she probably thought he was mocking her with when he was actually having an internal fight about protocol. Seriously, at what point was a bow respectful and when was it idol worship? Kind of hard to pick when the one you’re talking to a force of nature personified. And what could be worse than having these thoughts bounce around in his head while talking to someone? Having them bounce around while said someone was literally inside his head.

It was taking all of his concentration to keep these worries and thoughts bound in other sections of his mind while keeping them from appearing in the ‘lounge’ he and Luna used now. As a result, they had spent the last ten minutes, at least as they perceived time in here, in silence as he did nothing but stare ahead. Sadly, in spite of his best efforts, the good old juice side effects picked then to pull another prank.

James had to really fight to keep his attention on Luna instead of the reappearing image of Taft behind her; this time, wearing a hula outfit. James didn’t want Luna alerted to any more signs of potential instability so, instead of speaking aloud, he sent a message along the fabric of his mindscape around Luna to the Taft construct. Alright, listen up and listen good. I don’t care if you do have the form of one my country’s leaders. You will get your pudgy, inappropriately covered rear back into my subconscious NOW or, so help me, I will toss it in with the rest of the junk in the Gauntlet.

The Taft lookalike raised an eyebrow as he took a long drink from his Italian soda and transmitted a bundle of sensations that vaguely translated to, ‘Hey! I’m just a messenger. Take it up with the kid that sent me here.’

James closed his eyes a moment to calm himself before addressing him again. I don’t care how much pull he seems to have over the rest of you. I rule here, not him! He’s just as much a part of my mind as you and he will behave himself…or else. You can tell him that when you meet him. Taft bowed deferentially as he faded from his spot behind Luna.

James opened his eyes again to see Luna staring at him with an intent expression. Good grief! She probably thinks I’m a complete moron or something, he thought glumly.

****

He’s a tactical genius! Luna thought grudgingly as she regarded her host with a neutral expression.

While she couldn’t sense any falsehood in his claim that her prior altercation was accidental, that didn’t seem to stop him from probing and testing her. Not that Luna could blame him for it of course. After all, despite her good intentions, she trespassed into the deepest, most sacred corners of his consciousness. It was the sheer skill of his probing that boggled her mind.

First there were his dream skills. His phantom butler presented an odd mystery with his unassuming visage and vaguely threatening aura. And the room they used now? No amount of prodding seemed to hinder the illusion or reveal any flaws. From the stable structure of the room to the fine details of the tea, she could have easily believed they were somewhere in the waking world. To have something so detailed as taste and smell in tea! No matter how skilled somepony, or someone in this case, was with optical illusion it wasn’t possible to make another mind feel such ingrained and specific details such as smell, taste or tactile information. That had to be borrowed from past experience.

It took all of Luna’s discipline to keep her expression blank as that last point brought up a very disturbing thought. The sensations she felt at the blob dragon’s attack; the burning flesh, the flaring pain throughout her body. That had to come from existing experience. What kind of life would one live to collect such horrid experiences?

If this mental fortitude wasn’t intimidating enough, his shrewd, political tactics were terrifying! After he had to ‘hold back’ the mysterious butler guardian he proceeded to tear at her composure through snark and cutting remarks. He even tossed in a subtle bite through his little half bow and dry glance; not openly mocking but just enough insolence for the gesture to leave a sting. In his latest stroke, he made the ever so cordial offer of civilized conversation over tea, only to have her stew in silence under his cold, if moderately civil, scrutiny. If she hadn’t known better, she might have thought he had been trained by Tia herself.

Luna considered all the she had observed in the human during their interactions thus far. He obviously possessed a strong will. He didn’t initiate hostility, at least not intentionally if his claim of the Gauntlet’s nature was to be believed, but was ruthless and cunning in dealing with potential threats. His skill with reading and manipulating others hinted that he grew up, where ever he came from, in an environment steeped in political intrigue that made Canterlot seem a foal’s playground. Most notably, he was no stranger to pain. All of these qualities made for a being that was not to be underestimated.

The question now is, would he prove friend or foe?

In either case, Luna wasn’t going to learn anything by sitting here and squirming under his gaze. She would have to be the one to break the silence. But how? Tia had taught her that making the first move often meant having the least margin for error. The first question she asked could decide the entire tide of their verbal battle. It would have to be probing. It would have to be clever. But above all, she would have to be subtle.

“So, dost thou come here often?”

The silence quickly went from tense to awkward as the ridiculous query hung in the air. Oh,dear Faust! Did I really just ask him that question those younger ponies ask when courting in those modern clubs!?! She berated herself silently. Maybe he won’t take the opening to-?

Her hopes were dashed when the human raised an eyebrow. “My apologies Princess. If I knew this is the direction our talk would go I might have arranged for slightly stronger drinks and some candle light.”

Luna snorted in barely contained annoyance before taking a breath and calming herself. “Thou knowst, I mean, you know very well what was meant. There is no record of creatures with your description and I know the mental processes of this world’s inhabitants, ponies and otherwise, to know you are not from here. How did you come to be in this world?”

“I have no idea.”

After all of the intrigue, the blunt admission caught Luna off guard. “You…do not know? Truly?”

James nodded slightly. “As you said, I don’t come from this world. Everything I’ve seen out there,” James vaguely waved to indicate the waking world, “would’ve been myth in my world. I might’ve even thought this was all a hallucination if not for the sheer length and consistency of my time here. As for how?” He shook his head. “One day, I was in a tourist town on vacation with my family. The next? I wake up in the middle of a forest full of monstrosities, animals and plants both, trying to eat me. Everything in between is a complete blank.”

Luna could detect no falsehood. Every word he spoke was true and she could even notice a crack in his defenses as his eyes tightened at the mention of his family. She looked down and sighed. Her behavior was not unlike the distrust many ponies directed at her. “Forgive me. You have shown exceptional kindness despite personal loss…and my less than gracious behavior.”

“No need,” James said, waving a hand dismissively, “you’re a princess. It’s part of your job to be suspicious of anything outside of your kingdom and potentially dangerous. It’s also kind of my job to show kindness to others, so no need to thank me either.”

“Part of your…?” Luna tilted her head curiously. “What sort of profession has a requirement such as that?”

“I’m a chaplain.”

“A what?”

“Well it’s…How to explain? Hhmm” James put a hand to his chin and frowned as he thought. “Have you ever had priests of some sort? Someone, er, somepony that represented a religion, taught its tenets, and performed rites pertaining to it?” Luna nodded and he continued, “Well, basically, a chaplain is the same thing. The difference is, while a priest does their work in a big temple, chaplains do their work traveling or being posted in locations where people don’t have the luxury of having time to visit such temples.”

“I see,” Luna said uncertainly, “and…what exactly is your religion?”

“It’s called Christianity,” James shrugged, “I won’t bore you with all the details but it’s basically centered around these things: First, we follow the example of one called the Christ, our God who took mortal form.”

“He took a mortal form? For what purpose?”

“Well, basically to spend his life being an example to us on how to live in peace and performing miracles to help mortals in sorrow,” Luna smiled fondly and nodded at this before James finished his first reason, “and then he was tortured to death.”

Luna nodded absently before the words caught up with her and her eyes widened in horror. “WHAT!?! FOR WHAT POSSIBLE REASON WOULD THAT BE NECESSARY!?!”

“Well, we are taught from a young age that my people’s furthest ancestors committed a sin; One that all of their descendants would be doomed to pay and suffer for in this life and the next. Our only hope was a prophecy that stated we would be free when one who was devoid of sin would willingly give their life for the rest. In the end, who else could possibly match that but a God? To that end he came to our level, taught us a new way, and then paid the price for our redemption. It is for this reason that my people are dedicated to him.”

Luna sat there in silence as she tried to take that in. What sin could have been committed that warranted such a cost? And to willingly pay it? Celestia had always loved and worked hard for their little ponies but could she have managed to go this far? Could Luna?

Those questions boggled Luna so much that she nearly missed out as James continued with his explanation, “A second part of my faith comes from this,” he waved a hand and a thick book with a cross on its cover appeared, “it is a collection of scriptures that acts as a history for our faith as well as a large number of tenets that we use to guide our lives. To put it simply, all of it tends to focus around one simple rule; Love thy neighbor as a brother and thy brother as a friend.”

“Well, based on the effort you have expended to help a stranger and the tolerance you’ve shown one who trespassed into your very mind,” Luna said warmly, “I would say you’ve stayed true to your belief. Your order would be proud if they could see you.”

“Well, they might be. Or they might want to have me hauled to prison.”

It took much of Luna’s practiced court skills to keep from facehoofing then and there. Were all humans this frustrating?! First it’s peace talk, then it’s death and torture. First he’s noble, then he is apparently a wanted criminal. Admittedly, the death and torture bit was done in honorable self-sacrifice so there may be something to this ‘prison’ comment. Or it may just be another elaborate test of sorts. In any event, her best course of action was to play along. “And why would that be?”

“For impersonating a member of the clergy. I was never officially recognized, so I’d likely be tracked down, denounced as a fraud, and jailed and/or fined into oblivion.”

“…It’s likely a pointless question but, with those kinds of consequences, I am compelled to ask ‘why?’”

“Oh, goodie the dreaded ‘why’ question,” he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands pressed together as his face formed into a thoughtful, slightly irritated frown, “the wisest, vaguest, and most bothersome question ever to be asked and used as a bane to sane minds everywhere.” He closed his eyes and seemed to focus on gathering his thoughts as Luna silently debated on whether or not she had just been insulted.

Before she could decide, James started speaking, “Well, before my little trip to the magical land of Oz-”

“Equestria.”

“Nuance,” James muttered absently, “I was actually looking into training to be a chaplain but, interestingly enough, that sort of plan tends to fall through after getting thrown into another world. Looking back, though, I honestly can’t say I’m sure whether their opinion would’ve mattered that much to me anyway as I was beginning to question my faith in it anyway.”

“Wait. If you doubted your faith, why did you decide to go for priesthood in it?”

“They’re snazzy dressers?” he managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds under Luna’s aggravated glare before he guffawed. “Okay, seriously, it wasn’t my faith in God and Christianity in doubt as much as in other people in general.” He took in the Princess’s confused stare before shrugging uncomfortably. “Well, let’s just say they did some things that didn’t sit well with me and leave it at that for now.

“Anyway, as to why I chose the self-taught route while in a strange world? Being marooned in the middle of nowhere by yourself tends to require something to focus on to take the edge off of the experience. There wasn’t much else I was that passionate about and, while a lot of my duties are null in void without others around, I figured there were worse things I could do besides devoting time to God.” He looked to the side then shrugged and added, “Besides, I’m in another world. Even if they did know, what would they do? Say hurtful words about me and hope that I’ll hear them from here?”

“Then for the sake of better understanding,” Luna said quietly as she ignored the sarcasm, “can you explain your duties priest?”

“Sure. Just bear in mind that, for the sake of brevity, this is going to be a much abbreviated explanation sticking to the basics.” He waited for a nod from Luna before continuing.

“Well, firstly, we do what all Christians are called to do and spread the message of God to others. Specifically, other humans as that was the only intelligent race mentioned in the scriptures and known of in my world.” He looked over to take in Luna’s wide-eyed stare and nodded as he went on, “yeah, pretty sure he didn’t have any plans regarding you and/or other worlds when the gospels were written. So, unless I find other humans or he sends some kind of really obvious sign, it’s probably best I make no assumptions on any plans he may or may not have and put the ‘looking for sinners to save’ mission on hold.

“Next, we act as teachers. Whenever members of the Faith, new and old alike, have questions about the finer points in the tenets, need reminding about the basics, or just have some confusion that needs a confident guide to clear up they come to us for the answers. If they don’t have any questions, then we go on sort of a routine lecture that’s aimed at keeping them focused on living as Christians are meant to.

“And lastly, we act as counselors. Whenever someone has doubts, fears, or disturbed consciences they come to us. By drawing on our knowledge of scripture and personal experiences we work to comfort and guide them as best we can. And if we don’t have all the answers, or they feel the answers we give doesn’t help, then we at least help by offering a willing ear they can tell their worries to without fear of judgment. This last duty is different from the rest of the job as we are expected to perform it for anyone regardless of whether they are believers. In fact, it’s probably the one duty I can do in this world that isn’t dependent on belief, station, or species.”

“What do you mean by ‘disturbed consciences’?”

“About what you would expect,” James said casually. “In a faith focused on improvement oneself from a sinful nature, it’s kind of a given that we’re going to make mistakes and need forgiveness along the way. Some have interpreted this part differently but, as I see it, people come to us to admit their sins, learn how to correct them, and be assured that they will be forgiven. It’s not that we have any say in whether God forgives or not so much as it helps others to hear a verbal confirmation that they are heading in the right direction. As for what sins are covered? Pretty much anything from stealing out of the cookie jar to murder.”

“Murder!?!” Luna yelped. “Do you mean to say that if somepony came to you with tears in their eyes and apologies on their tongue, you would simply say ‘all is forgiven’ and leave it at that!?! You would keep silent even if there were no way to know their intent afterward?” Luna ranted in outrage. “There is being forgiving and there is sheer recklessness! To simply keep quiet and-”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” James broke in sternly, “there is a difference between forgiveness and a pardon. Any that come to me with that kind of confession would be told up front that I’ll keep confidential with the understanding that they would answer to the consequences of their actions. I’ll gladly hear them out and won’t go shouting what they did from the mountain tops if they come trying to get their life in order trusting them to do what is right. However, if the authorities come knocking because that same confessor is actively running to avoid facing what they did? Then I’ll consider that trust broken and all bets are off.”

“So you claim that, as long as they answered honorably for their actions and acted with integrity, you would provide comfort and guidance to any who came asking? With no judgment or prejudice what so ever?”

To his credit, the human considered his answer carefully before looking Luna in the eye. “Honestly? There might be something out there that would make it a struggle for me to keep cool. Even so, yes I would do my best to keep impartial and provide the benefit of the doubt.”

Luna snorted contemptuously. “Tis that simple then? Any monster that comes to your doorstep and you’ll just listen without a single scornful word? If some monster that committed genocide, razed towns, or betrayed her own country came asking for advice or comfort you would just give it?!”
The human showed no irritation at Luna’s comments. All he did was tilt his head and look at her curiously. “That…seems oddly specific, Princess. Are we still talking hypotheticals or should I get situated to offer a session?”

Luna’s eyes widened. “You! You dare?!” She stood and stomped her hoof in outrage. “I am not going to sit here while some vagabond speaks as if I he knows everything about me!” She glared at the human and snorted, daring him to speak. All he did, however, was stare back calmly as if she still hadn't spoken . “Well, you do not! I am Princess Luna! A sovereign and protector of Equestria! Everything, EVERYTHING I have done has been for the greater good!” Aside from the Nightmare of course. The fact that the gap in her memory made it hard to know whether it was her choice to begin with didn’t offer any comfort. “I have a sister who loves me and a number of friends that trust and respect me.” A sister that may never fully trust her again and the number of friends still remained in the single digits. She was vaguely aware of something warm streaming down her cheeks and matting her fur. “I am NOT something to be pitied and I am NOT a M-Monster. I-” Luna’s rant was interrupted as she hiccupped. She tried demand the conversation be dismissed but all that came out was a pained whisper. “I am not a monster. I am not a monster.” Over and over she repeated the denial as if it were some soul-saving mantra. She hated everything about this moment. She hated showing weakness in front of this stranger. She hated that she felt she had to defend herself. Above all, she hated how those denials sounded more like she was trying to convince herself of their truth.

Luna’s tears stopped and her body stiffened as she felt something wrap around her shoulders. Her eyes shot open and she saw that James had crossed the threshold and knelt in down to gently hug her. “You are right, Princess. You are not someone to be pitied or seen as a monster. You are someone that has been hurt and needs to talk about it. You are also right that I don’t know anything about the mare in front of me,” James leaned back to look into Luna’s eyes. She could see no trace of mockery or pity in his gaze. There was only kindness and concern. “Even so, I would very much like to find out. And if I don’t have any answers? You would be surprised how therapeutic a willing ear can be,” he waved his hands at the surroundings, “and if it helps, you have my word that nothing said will leave this place.”

Luna stared into James’ eyes and could see no hint of deception or malice in them. She wanted to brush aside his concerns. She wanted to say she was fine, that she only suffered a minor lapse in judgment brought on by stress. She wanted to point out how ridiculous it was to think she would spill her deepest secrets into some stranger’s mind. She opened her mouth to say as much but instead whispered, “My name is Luna Selene and…I have done terrible things.”

That soft declaration seemed to open the flood gates as past regrets and doubts tumbled from her mouth. She spoke of assassinations and black ops she had carried out in various conflicts while her sister fought honorably on the battle field. She went on about whole species that had gone extinct, some at Discord’s claws and some at her hooves, during the Chaos Wars. Luna had expected to see James stare at her in revulsion or scorn her for the crimes she listed but he never once showed a hint of disdain. There was not even a flinch. He simply watched her with that unchanging gaze of compassion and understanding that pushed her to keep going. She went on to describe the founding of Everfree City and its inevitable destruction during her rampage as Nightmare Moon. She described her fears about the four month gap and how she worried whether Nightmare Moon was an outside force or just a part of her waiting to rear its ugly head again to take away what little she had now. Her last coherent words spoke of how she suspected Celestia’s insistence on leaving the matter alone actually hid the fact that her trust was only skin deep. Luna finally ran out of confessions breaking down to tears and shuttering as James went back to holding her.

After the tears dried and her shuttering stopped, James pulled back to wipe her tears with a hand and watched her carefully. “So. How are you feeling now?”

Luna took a couple of breaths before answering. “I…I am not sure. A bit hollow, truth be told.”

“That’s not surprising, especially with all that you had to get off your chest. Think of it as a clean slate for you to start over from. I might even have a few ideas for you. If you would be willing to hear a few suggestions?” Luna hesitated a moment before nodding her assent for him to continue. “I’m not sure how much, if anything, you know about my people, but one thing has been fairly consistent: war. Our history has been riddled with it and we’ve learned one thing for sure. No matter what good intentions may have been behind it, war itself is an abomination. The only ‘honor’ we’ve found it to have is in protecting what you love and ending said war as quickly and bloodlessly as possible. Yes, your sister may have acted ‘honorably’ in battle, but each and every battle cost the lives of countless soldiers on both sides. Soldiers that likely left behind loved ones that felt that loss long afterward. Your missions targeted specific individuals, likely those responsible for starting the conflict in the first place, and prevented many more ‘honorable’ battles where large losses would have continued.

“As for those lost species? As I said earlier, war is an abomination. Something bad is always going to come out of it no matter how hard you try to change it. These Chaos Wars are just a whole other level of abomination. They sound just as bad, heck maybe worse, than a nuclear holocaust and you still managed to keep this world from falling apart. That is quite a feat in itself.”

“Those are…certainly points I had never thought have before,” Luna frowned in confusion as she continued, “however, I am not familiar with this ‘Nuclear Holocaust’ term. Pray tell, what is it?”

The human sat there, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times before finally sighing. “Let’s just say it’s one of those subjects that are best left undiscovered.

“Anyway, next point. You’re worried that your sister’s lack of discussion on the Nightmare Moon incident shows that she still doesn’t trust you. Did it ever occur to you that she hasn’t spoken about it because she considers it her failing rather than yours?”

“Hers? That-” Luna shook her head “-that makes no sense! I was the one that rebelled and endangered everypony. She merely did what she had to.”

“Doesn’t mean she’ll see it that way. This actually reminds me about fights I’ve had with my little brother.”

“You both fought a civil war that threatened the safety of your world?”

James leveled a flat look at Luna. “…no. Not so much. There tended to be a lot of fights because of misunderstandings from our differences. I was cautious and took things slowly while he was ambitious and waited for no one. I always worried about others’ opinions while he wouldn’t hesitate to stomp those opinions underfoot with some blunt criticism. Our differences tended to send us at each other’s throats more often than not. Even so,” his eyes tightened before he closed them, took a calming breath and continued, “even so, we were still family and always stood up for each other when it counted. In fact, the one thing that hurt me worse than any insult or put down he sent my way was when he got in trouble that could’ve been prevented if he just came to me for help. Mostly, because it left me wondering what I did wrong and why he didn’t trust me.”

“But what if,” Luna looked down and bit her lower lip nervously. “We are both heads of state and she has even more duties than I. What if she can’t find the time?”

“Make the time,” James cut in. “With something like this bothering you, you can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away. That’s likely a big reason for the Nightmare Moon incident anyway. You’ll just have to be upfront. And if causes an argument? Big deal. One of the things that make family special is that they won’t let any argument or insult keep them from being there when you need it.”

Luna opened her mouth to dispute his overly simplistic suggestion but promptly closed it again when she couldn’t bring a good counterargument to mind. A thoughtful frown formed as she closed her eyes and bowed her head. Something about this conversation, this creature, seems oddly familiar. It almost reminds her of…

“And what’s that smile about, Princess?”

She hadn’t even realized she was smiling. Yet, at what came to mind, she couldn’t seem to stop as she opened her eyes and looked back to James. “You. You remind me of a pony long gone.”

“Oh?”

“He was the last royal advisor that my sister and I had ever had in court. He was sharp tongued and cynical. He was quite an irascible old coot who rarely respected anypony or anything that didn’t meet his ridiculously high standards.”

“I feel so flattered. Please try not to give me too big a head here,” James said flatly.

“The old goat was always something of an insufferable know-it-all that never gave a moment’s peace to anypony he deemed mistaken or in need of improvement.”

“Seriously, Princess. You can stop aaaanytime now.”

“And there was never a dearer friend in my or my sister’s long lives.”

Silence stretched as Luna sat there with a nostalgic smile on her face. Eventually, James raised an eyebrow. “Well, come on. You can’t just decide to listen to me and stop when the story gets good.”

For the first time since tumbling into this stranger’s mind, perhaps since Nightmare Night, Luna’s heart lightened at his snark. She even had to put a hoof up and stifle a giggle. “As annoying as his sharp tongue could be, it also comforted the two of us as it proved that he saw the ponies beneath the power, titles, and crowns. Ponies who made mistakes, suffered insecurities, and needed support. He was ready to bring us back down to Equis when the position threatened to go to our heads and always stood ready in private to comfort us and witness our tears when our hearts grew heavy,” new tears, this time of remembrance of better days, flowed down her cheeks, “and for all that know-it-all attitude, my sister and I never saw such wisdom and insight in all of our time in this world as we did during the short life of that crazy old unicorn. We could never bring ourselves to appoint a new advisor since his death. We knew there would never be another soul like Starswirl.” Luna sighed then looked at James with faint smile. “I think I can safely say, though, that I have met one good soul that could rival his.”

James stared neutrally at Luna before he finally returned her smile with one of his own. “Then I guess I can say I’m in good company then.” The comment seemed to banish the remaining trace of tension and both figures sat in contentment. After a few minutes enjoying the sensation of their illusionary tea room, James planted his hands on his knees and stood with a sigh. “Well, I guess that’s enough sharing for one evening. We should probably see about getting you back to your subjects.”

“I take it your meditation is finished?”

“Actually,” James drew out the word as if debating the prudence in revealing what he was about to say, “we’ve been ready to leave since the ‘Nightmare Moon’ segment of your little cry fest.”

“…what?”

“I considered interrupting you so we could be on our way. However, it was obvious you needed to blow some steam.” James thought for a moment then shrugged. “If we stopped, you likely would have bottled it up until you blew up on something small later. Really, it was for your own good.”

A scowl came over Luna’s features and her left eye twitched a couple of times. She opened her mouth then closed abruptly as she inhaled a calming breath. The scowl faded into a calm smile as she exhaled. “You are right. This has been a long time coming.” She opened her eyes and her smile turned wry. “And I was equally right when I recognized you as an insufferable know-it-all.”

James cried out in mock hurt and put a hand to his chest. “Princess! You wound me so! It’s not easy being right all of the time.” He posed and put the back of his hand to his forehead to add emphasis causing Luna to giggle. He laughed along with her as he dropped the pose. “Joking aside though, we probably need to get started on getting you home. I’d wager your sister and the rest of the country will be starting to freak out after you’ve been gone so long. Besides-” James paused as a smirk formed on his lips “-there’s a pegasus mare in need of a good pranking.”

****

Okay, careful Daring, the explorer thought to herself, Just ease in to it. It’s just like all of those temple booby traps. Closer and closer, she worked her way to the mark. Her breath caught in her throat as she thought the wild man’s breathing pattern changed. When it went back to normal she sighed, mindful of the drawing utensil in her mouth, and started making her way forward again.

Daring Do had spent an hour digging through the hut trying to find something to combat her growing cabin fever as she waited for the McSlashy or the Princess to snap out of their trance thing. After several more disappointments (more blank books, vials of unknown liquids even she wasn’t crazy enough to take a chance with, and some odd rectangle with buttons and a blank window) she stumbled over some ink and a stick stained on the end indicating it had been used for writing. Seeing an opportunity, she made the same rational, responsible, and intelligent decision any explorer would have done in her hooves: she decided to draw doodles on the potentially unstable death monkey.

……Okay, so maaaaybe the boredom was taking over at this point.

Okay, this time for sure. Daring leaned in with the ink stick ready to put a perfectly placed monocle around that beady little eye of his. Closer. Closer. Just…a little…more…

She was a breath away from succeeding when that hazel eye popped open to give her a glare fierce enough to send the fiends of Tartarus home packing. He roared and Daring squealed screamed as she rolled backwards tumbling into the shelf and bringing an avalanche of books onto her head. She jumped out from the pile into a combat stance ready for anything the human might throw at her…Only to find him still kneeling on his spot on the floor.

He stared calmly at her taking in her combat stance and fierce glare. He quirked an eyebrow before he finally spoke. “Dangerous business that sneaking around and pranking. Could even be bad for the heart, eh?”

Daring glared at him as she tried to keep her breathing under control and get her heart to stop pounding. “Yeah?! Well…worry about your own heart ya dumb monkey.” Oh sure. What an awesome comeback Daring, she silently berated herself.

The human seemed in agreement with that thought as he snorted. “Ooooh, such scathing ripostes! Are you always this witty or do you happen to be on a roll?”

Daring snorted and stomped a hoof. “Okay, fine! I’m having an off day. So sue me.”

The human shrugged as he slowly stood up. “Fair enough. Happens to the best of us. I’m James by the way. And you would be Daring Do. Profesional explorer and adventurer.”

“Hey! Just how do you know that?!”

“This little meditation thing I’ve been doing? It’s good for recovery and while I can’t always respond when I’m using it, I can hear a few things.”

“Uhh. Exactly what kind of ‘things’?” Daring asked cautiously as she remembered a few possibly unwise phrases may have been uttered out of frustration over the past hour. Unwise as in ‘don’t say to a super strong killer wild man.’

James shrugged as he started toward his gear near the shelf. “Oh, little things: ambient noises, snippets of conversation, or even-” he stopped abruptly and rushed toward stopping with an inch left between his face and Daring’s. Before she could do more than widen her eyes in surprise he rambled, “andthefeatherbraingraverobbersayswhat?”

“What? I-! HEY!” Daring yelled and swiped out uselessly with her left hoof only for James to jump back well clear of her range and smirk.

“Well, that’s enough fun for now. We should probably start planning for getting out of this forest. Luna should be waking up now so you might want to see about helping her down while I get my own equipment together.” He turned and walked over to collect his gear without giving Daring as much as a backward glance.

Daring’s mouth hung open a moment before she closed it again and fumed at the cheeky human. How dare he?! Who did he think he was?! She’s Daring Bucking Do, darn it! She huffed and headed up the stairs as she resolved to find a way to get even once she and the Princess were well on their way to safety. It wasn’t until she made it half way up the stair before part of the conversation finally hit her. Hang on. Where does he get off talking so casually about the Princess? Come to think of it, how did he know her name?! Even if he could hear through that weird zen thing, she was pretty sure she never mentioned the Princess’s name.

Author's Note:

So lots of philosophy and conversation. Yup, trying to character build and world build can be a pain. Lot more than I thought there would be. Don't worry though. Next chapter should have plenty of action to make up.

As always, comments and constructvie criticism appreciated.

Comments

[8chill]

Story is Intriguing thus far.......

Go on......

~8chill

[Redstargazer]

5634668
Sorry took so long to answer. Aside from checking other stories, been offline focusing on writing. That said, am I to assume BR you mentioned is describing Anthony as a butler character similar to Walter in the Hellsing stories?

[Redstargazer]

5728884
Thanks! Was actually not sure if the newest chapter would be a bit of a turn off with so much more dialogue than I anticipated.

[Fucks Ungiven]

I'm cheering louder then a screaming drunk.

[PinkiePieFox]

Good story is awesome!

[first hand account]

Thumbs fucking up even though it took like 5 months to complete
Great job!!!!!!! YEAGH!