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What would Jimmy Buffett Do?1,815 words
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The Waiting World1,624 words
Bad and Beautiful and Free1,159 words
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What would Jimmy Buffett Do?

Dash landed on a cloud and grinned at the scene in front of her: Cloudsdale bustled with activity as the factory shut down for the day. The mare passed several fillies and colts on their way back from flight school and stopped at the front door of a small, house. Dash pushed the door in, and entered.

“Mom? Dad?” Dash called out, “You guys home? I got your letter.”

An older stallion peeked out of the kitchen and smiled. The blue pegasus trotted out of the kitchen, his dulling rainbow mane tied back.

“Hey Dashie,” he chuckled, “Early for once.”

“Dad…” Dash sighed, “It’s my day off.”

“Because you came in late, or an actual day off?” He chuckled again.

“Dad, I don’t care what Fog Gun says, I don’t come to work that hungover.”

“Kid, all I can say is you got my awesomeness and Streak’s alcohol tolerance.” Another voice responded from behind Dash. She spun around coming face to face with a pegasus mare: pink coat, wild blue mane and the same cocky smile Dash wore.

“It’s not that bad, mom.” Dash rolled her eyes as the mare walked pass.

“Kid, the first time I went drinking with your dad, he got hammered off of one Long Island Ice Tea.”

“You told me it wasn’t alcoholic, Firefly.” He shook his head.

“Yeah, yeah, keep making up excuses.” Firefly trotted into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, “Want a beer, kid?”

“Yeah, sure mom.” Dash replied, plopping down on the sofa. Firefly returned carrying two bottles and tossed one at Dash. She caught it and took a swing of beer.

“So how’s Turner?” Firefly asked, “You put in the cloudwalkin’ seal for him? Because I gotta tell ya, I told that story to Wind Whistler and she thought it was hilarious.”

“I got it done the day after,” Dash grumbled.

“It’s one of the sacrifices you gotta make when you date an earth pony.” Firefly shrugged, “Besides, embarrassing date stories are important. You can tell’m to your kids or at family gatherings and stuff.”

“More seriously,” Dash’s father interrupted, “How is he?”

“He’s fine. Got some business back so he couldn’t come with me.”

“Business about what?”

“Pinkie made a bunch of duplicates of herself and they caused trouble, so he had to kind off take care of the repair budget.” Dash took a swing of beer.

“…Kid, Pinkie is messed up.” Firefly paused, “I know she’s your friend and all, but this is bullsh-”

“Oh, that’s right.” Dash’s father interrupted, “Heard about the stunt you pulled off at the Academy.”

“…Time Turner nearly got killed.” Dash muttered.

“Well…” He paused, “Yeah.”

“Kid, love makes you do stupid ass things,” Firefly took a swing of her beer, “You shoulda kicked Lightning Dust’s ass for doing stupid shit like that.”

“She can’t blow her chance by letting her emotions get the better of her, Fly.” Dash’s father countered.

“Streak, sometimes you’re gonna find out that there are circumstances where it’s alright to kick the crap out of someone.” Firefly paused, “I mean, I was in Dash’s position and it was you, I know I would.”

“Yeah, well…Soarin was there too.” Dash paused, “He’s dating Rarity.”

“Isn’t she your age?”

“She’s like six years older than me, dad.” Dash paused, “Soarin’s like eight years older than me.”

“Hm.” Her father went back to cooking, “Well, at least the tabloids haven’t gotten to it yet.”

“They try to keep it low on the radar,” Dash emptied her bottle, “Not good for either of them.”

“Yeah, well…” Firefly drained her beer, “She’s lucky.”

“You think so?” Streak asked, “There’s always a downside to dating celebrities.”

“How would you know?” Firefly countered.

“I dated you in high school remember?” Streak shrugged, “What’s that song? She wears high heels, I wear sneakers/ she’s Cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers.”

Dash stared at her father in disbelief “…Dad, are you quoting a Swift Tail song?”

“Why not? It’s catchy.”

“Forget it kid,” Firefly shook her head, “Most midlife crisis involves younger girls and ridiculous expensive crap. Your Dad’s midlife crisis means listening to bubblegum pop crap that’s meant for teenaged girls.”

“Dinner’s ready, you two.” Streak ignored her.

The two mares flittered into the dining room. They settled at the table as Dash’s father placed a large pot on the table, and ladled out its contents.

“…Ok, what’s going on?” Dash asked.

“What do you mean?” Firefly asked.

“You guys invite me home to talk about something and now you’re making Borsch,” Dash paused, “You only do that when you got important things to tell me.”

“…Well…” Streak paused, “We do like Time Turner. He’s abit…”

“Scatterebrained.” Firefly interrupted.

“Your mother’s words, not mine.” Streak quickly clarified, “And…well…”

Dash’s face froze in horror.

“Oh Celestia, you want to meet his parents.”

“Basically.” Streak shrugged.

“Kid, if you want to make little flying babies with him, I want to know who the other grandparents will be,” Firefly dumped dried dill and chopped tomatoes onto her borsch.

“…Turner’s parents are…Interesting.” Dash admitted, “I…I guess I can talk to him about it.”

“Good,” Firefly shoved a spoonful of borsch into her mouth, “What kind of beer they do like?”

“They’re more of wine ponies.”

“What?!?” Firefly dropped her spoon, “Wine? Who wants to drink that stuff?”

“…This is going to be interesting,” Streak sighed, pouring more sour cream into his borsch.

---

Time Turner tucked the last of his papers into the manila folder and placed it in the drawer. Satisfied, he trotted over to the door and left the room.

“Drinking again?” Raven asked, not looking up from her paper work.

“Dash wanted to talk to me about something.”

“Couldn’t you just meet at her place?”

“After I nearly fell to death?” Turner shook his head, “No.”

“And your place?” Raven continued on.

“We like meeting at the bar.”

“And I’m sure Berry like it too.” Raven muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Have fun drinking.”

“Raven, one of these days, you need to go and loosen up a bit.”

“Turner, I cover for the mayor and you. Someone has to be the serious one.” Raven muttered as he left. Turner continued down the road, heading towards the bar.

“Hey Turner.” Somepony called out to him. Turner turned to see Big Macintosh and Cloudchaser.

“Oh, Hello Mac, Hello Cloudchaser.”

“Going to the bar with Dash tonight?” Cloudchaser chuckled.

“…We don’t always go to the bar.” He muttered.

“It’s Tuesday, of course you’re going.” The pegasus jokingly retorted, “Anyway, have a good time. Don’t get blackout drunk.”

Turner rolled his eyes and walked off. He continued down the street, before finally coming up to Berry’s. He entered the bar and looked around: Dash sat at the bar, nursing a mug of something frothy and pale. To her left sat a chatty older unicorn: light brown mane, grey amber coat and a cutie mark in the form of a simple roulette wheel and a coin.

“So anyway…” the older mare trailed off as she noticed Time Turner, “Oh there he is.”

“Hello mother.” Time Turner sighed as he went over to the bar and took the seat next to Dash, “What brings you to Ponyville.”

“I just felt like visiting my favorite son,” Turner’s mother placed her wine flute back onto the counter top, “Another.”

“I’m your only son.” He sighed as Berry poured out wine, “The usual, Berry.”

“Out of stout.” Berry’s muffled reply came, “Some accident with my supplier.”

“Gin and tonic then.”

“You know I don’t approve of gin.” His mother shook her head.

“Mother, that was years ago. Before I knew my limits.”

“What happened?” Dash perked up alittle, taking a swing of her ale.

“He got into the gin and then the whisky.” His mother paused, taking another sip, “We found him hanging out one of the windows, trying not to throw up.”

“…Better than mine.” Dash grumbled, “I don’t remember what I did, but my mom said they found me sleeping with my head in the toilet.”

“As fascinating as this conversation is,” Berry interrupted placing the glass in front of Time Turner, “I don’t think this is something I want to hear.”

“Sorry.” Turner took a swing of his own drink, “Something’s on your mind, Dash.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re less chatty than normal.” Turner retorted.

“Well…” Dash paused.

“Ah! I knew something was wrong.” Turner’s mother smiled, “Could I get an Aqua Velva?”

“Gimme a moment,” Berry trotted off.

“Well…” Dash looked at Turner as he took another sip of his drink.

“My parents want to meet your parents.”

Turner’s eyes bulged and he spat out his drink, dousing the unfortunate Berry in it. The bartender frowned as the gin dripped down her mane.

“Pay your tab. Tonight.” Berry grumbled, as she trotted off in search of water and a mop.

“I wouldn’t mind meeting them,” Time Turner’s mother broke the awkward moment, “I’m sure your father would too.”

“Mother, Dad is…how do I put it nicely, never happy to do anything except grumble and stare at you with contempt.”

“He’s your father, he always looks at people that way.” She turned her attention back to Dash, “Do they have any idea where they would like to meet?”

“Dad said it would probably be better if it was somewhere on the ground,” Dash paused, “Outside of my great-aunt Rainbow, we don’t have a lot of earth ponies or unicorns in the family.”

“Excellent! I’ll talk to Clagan, It can be at our house,” she paused again, “Hopefully they don’t mind, it’s a bit…well, nicer than what most ponies have.”

“I’m sure they won’t.” Dash flashed a faked smile as Berry came back, mop in hoof. The mare held it out at Time Turner.

“Clean up your mess.”

Time Turner trotted around the bar and took the mop from the still grumpy mare. Berry set to work behind the bar and delivered an Aqua Velva to Turner’s mother. The giddy mare ignored it as she continued to prattle off about her preparations for the upcoming event.

“Dash, do your parents know what they’re getting into?” Turner grumbled, “I mean, you’ve met my father and I’ve met your parents and well…” He shrugged, “I don’t think it’s going to work out too well.”

“Turner, I don’t think anyone knows what they’re getting into.”

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dramatic_spoon

dramatic_spoon #1 · Nov 15th, 2014 · · ·

Aaand we're back!

So soon?
I know.

Dash's parents are still Firefly and Bluestreak.
Turner's dad is still Clagan. If that sounds familiar Clagan was also Time Turner's father in Nightmare Moon over the Republic.
I don't have a name for Turner's mother yet.
taking suggestions.

SageBrony07

SageBrony07 #2 · Nov 15th, 2014 · · ·

This is awesome. I can't wait to read what happens next. Let the battle of the inlaws commence. To celebrate I want to introduce you to my favorite songs about this topic.