A Tale of Blue and Red

by Stratocaster

So You Want to be a Bumpkin

Chapter 3: So You Want to be a Bumpkin

Twilight awoke the next morning later than usual. The previous day kept her awake with arranging ridiculous requests by her spoiled guest, such as unpacking his many suitcases and giving him drinks or snacks frequently; not to mention a large wave of customers coming for books. She stepped out of her bedroom with a yawn and sunken eyes, expecting Blueblood to still be in bed without a doubt.

"Why good morning, Twilight!"

She shook her head in surprise of the cheery voice. Twilight gawked as Blueblood stood in the library bright and smiling, tidying up the entire room, for some reason wearing a frilled apron.

"Blueblood?" she said. "You're up already?"

"I've been up for four hours, my friend!" replied Blueblood, cheerily. "I just thought I'd clean the place a little since yesterday was quite busy. I even freshened up the library with my own tastes. A few potted plants and some dust ruffles, and I even put out a bowl of potpourri!" he pointed to the potpourri and ate a bit of it.

Twilight looked around her library which now sparkled with cleanliness. Then she caught a whiff of something from the kitchen. She stepped in to find a table filled with plates full of breakfast items, including flower omelettes, hash browns, Prench toast, pancakes, waffles, coffee and different juices.

"Did you make breakfast?" she asked in bewilderment.

"Indeed!" he answered. "Help yourself! I hope you like it sense I never really cooked before. It was just something I wanted to try."

Twilight tasted one of the omelettes. "My gosh, this is delicious! What got into you all of a sudden?"

"Oh Twilight, you will not believe how happy I am to awake to a new day!" said Blueblood, effeminately. "Ever since I met Applejack, I've had a new outlook on life! And everything is just so beautiful; especially her!"

"I take it you two hit it off?"

"More than that, Twilight! I am in love with that enchanting mare! And I think she feels the same way!"

"So you and AJ are...dating now?" she asked, with more surprise.

"Of course! She has cast her lasso around my heart!"

"Blech!" Twilight tried to keep her appetite for breakfast. "Well that's really amazing to hear. I never thought Applejack would be one for romance."

"You know something, Twilight?" Blueblood sat down. "Neither was I. I was so used to being set up with rich floozies who only wanted to be seen with celebrities; it wasn't real love. But your friend, Twilight, my dear sweet Applejack, she is so honest and caring! It's evoked something in me that I never felt before! What's it called? Comp- compy- compass-"

"Compassion?"

"Yes that's it!"

"Well it's no surprise." Twilight joined him. "Applejack was the first friend I made when I moved to Ponyville. She along with her family treated me with hospitality even when I didn't ask. So if there's any mare who'll treat you right, I'm sure it's her."

"Oh I'm so glad you think so, Twilight." He smiled. "Because I'm going to meet her family tonight, and I hope to make a good impression!"

"Oh you won't have to worry about that. You're a prince after all. Besides, the Apples are the nicest ponies you'll meet."

Blueblood sat back on the couch in reverence. "Ah, I imagine every night with Applejack will be magical and exciting! Especially since last night when she showed me her mud shoot."

"...Excuse me?" Twilight stared, not sure what that meant.

DING!

"Oh! My muffins are ready!" Blueblood skipped merrily to the kitchen.

Twilight sat there wondering how this encounter between him and the Apples would play out. She still found the fact of an esteemed prince falling in love with her friend to be stranger than she liked.

Spike walked from the kitchen with a tasty morsel. "Hey Twilight, you gotta try these! These are even better than your muffins!"

Twilight sneered at the dragon and used magic to toss the bowl of potpourri over his head.

...

Later that day, Blueblood joined his new beloved for a hot homemade meal of daffodil loaf and gravy, with her family. Once again he sported his best tuxedo and combed his mane back into a shiny blonde wave. Nevertheless the Apples enjoyed his company.

"So yer a real prince from Canterlot?!" beamed Apple Bloom, with curiosity.

"Why yes." Blueblood boasted. "I'm a descendant of Celestia and Luna themselves."

"Wow!" she smiled. "Princess Luna once gave me a dream where I got mah cutie mark for trainin' seals to jump through a ring o' fire!"

"...Oooookay." He turned away from her.

"Well would ya look at me now!" grinned Granny Smith. "Havin' a big fancy prince eatin' in mah home! I'd like to see those good-fer-nothins over at the pear farm show that off at the county fair!"

"I must say you have a wonderful home, Madame Granny Smith." Blueblood said charmingly. "It's very...quaint and rustique."

"It is? Does that mean I have to call a plumber?" Granny tilted her head. "Big Mac, I told you there was somethin' wrong with the terlet! When are ya gonna get off yer flank an' fix this darn place up?!"

Big Macintosh rolled his eyes and swigged some cider.

"Granny, he's complimentin' the house." Applejack said. "He just has a real big vocabulary."

"Oh I'm sorry, Blueblood," said Granny. "I hope the doctor gives ya some good news about that problem."

"Anyway," said Blueblood. "Uh, Big Macintosh, is it?"

"Eeyup."

"Applejack has told me a bit about you. I hear you're quite a lady-killer around town."

"Eeyup."

"You know, I bet you could be paired up well with a mare I know from Canterlot. If you'd like, I can set you up with-"

"Nnope."

"...But, are you sure? I mean-"

"Nnope."

"...Alright then..." Blueblood drank some cider. "Granny Smith, your food is delectable. But, if I may be so frank, is this your best flatware? Surely food of such exquisite taste should only be eaten on fine china."

"Wazzat? China?!" Granny shot him a stink eye. "Well if it's egg rolls and noodles yer lookin' for, that's too bad! We don't make that crap!"

"Yeah, we don't make that crap!" repeated Apple Bloom.

"Nnope." Big Mac said.

"No no, please forgive me," explained Blueblood. "I was simply talking about the plates. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I feel your sweet cider deserves to be in some crystal glasses. And don't you serve a first course as well? Salad? Soup? Sorbet?"

"What am I a restaurant?!" replied Granny. "Should I be chargin' restaurant prices?!"

"You should do it, Granny!" beamed Apple Bloom. "Then I can get mah waitress cutie mark!"

"Nnope."

"Uh, Blue, honey?" said Applejack. "Can I speak to you for a moment?" She took him into the hall outside the kitchen.

"Applejack, don't you think it's a tad rude to leave the table just like that?" asked Blueblood.

"Actually, Blue," she winced. "You're the one who's embarrassin' me."

"What?!" he bugged. "How could I be embarrassing? I'm using my best manners!"

"That's just it, dummy." She said. "You're all gussied up lookin', ya got your napkin in your lap, you got a whole bunch of different spoons, forks, and knives laid out in a row for who-knows-what. Honey, you're bein' too polite."

Blueblood became baffled. "Too polite?! That's impossible!"

"Not for my family." Applejack sighed, as Apple Bloom flung mashed potatoes in Big Mac's face, making him swear loudly, and Granny Smith dropped her dentures in her cider. "Look, I know you're tryin' to be a real sweet guest n' all, but maybe you could just take the high society act down a notch. I know you're a prince, but you're confusin' the heck out of my family. Apple Bloom doesn't even know what a sorbet is."

Blueblood sulked. "I'm sorry, Applejack. I just don't know how to behave so...so..."

"It's okay, you can say it." She assured him.

"Poor."

Applejack glowered. "I thought you were gonna say 'ordinary', but whatever."

"You know I want to become a part of your life, Applejack." Blueblood said. "But I could use a little help. My dear, will you teach me the ways of the country pony?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" smiled Applejack.

...

Before long, Applejack managed to sit Blueblood down at a small desk in her living room as she prepared some notes on a blackboard. Blueblood wasn't expecting this date to take a turn like this; he felt like he was back in private boarding school. But he was more curious as to why Applejack kept a desk and chalkboard in her home.

"Alrighty then! Welcome to How To Be A Hick 101!" Applejack tried to sound professional. "I'm gonna teach ya how to lose all yer hoity toity manners n' what not, and become a dumb, dirty country-folk!"

"Um, Applejack, don't you think this is rather unorthodox?" asked Blueblood, before Applejack slammed a ruler on his hoof. "OW!"

"That's rule #1: no big fancy words!" she turned her nose up. "Before you can learn anything else, I'm gonna teach ya how to talk the talk. Let's start simple. Repeat after me: 'How do you do, partner'?"

"Uh...how do you do, partner?" Blueblood winced as he received another slap. "Youch!"

"Try again!" ordered Applejack.

"Um...how do you do, partner?" He howled in pain again.

"It's 'howdy, pardner'!" she urged. "Say it!"

"Eh- uh- Howdy, pardner?"

"Good!" Applejack pointed to a sentence on the board. "Now, let's work out that tongue of yers. Repeat after me: 'I am not doing anything for you.'"

"I am not doing anything for you."

She ruler-slapped his hoof again. "Wrong!"

"But why did you make me repeat that?!" shouted Blueblood.

She whacked him yet another time. "You raise yer hoof before asking a question!"

He raised his hoof.

"Yes Blueblood?"

"Why do I have to repeat the sentence if it's wrong? And why do I have to raise my hoof if I can't be polite?"

"No two-part questions!" she cracked the ruler once again. "Now say it right! You know this!"

"Um...uh..." Blueblood sweated nervously. He tried his best to mimic the slur of a country-pony accent. "Let's see, uh...I...ain't...doin' anything...for ya?"

"Close," nodded Applejack. "A little more."

Blueblood cleared his throat. "I ain't doin'...nothin'...fer ya."

"Yeah that's it!" she beamed. "Say it again!"

"I ain't doin' nothin' fer ya."

"Yer on yer way, Blue!" she winked. "Now try this one: 'The flight...of the kite...flies lightly...through the night."

"The flight of the..." Blueblood paused and caught the trick. She was coaxing him into saying the opposite of the proper way to speak that she presented. He then made sure to replace the rhyming sounds in the sentence with a country twist. "The flaht...of the kaht...flahs lahtly...through the naht!"

"Yeah, yeah, you got it!" cheered Applejack. "You're doin' great, Blue! And where does the kite fly through?"

"The naht!"

"And how does it fly?"

"Lahtly!"

"What color is your coat?"

"Whaht!"

"What's six plus three?"

"Nahn!"

"What do you think we should be right now?"

"Quahet!"

"You're right. Granny Smith is tryin' to sleep. How do ya feel, Blue?"

"I...I feel like I'm starting to get it!" smiled Blueblood.

"I'm glad to hear it, darlin'!" Applejack gave him a sly smile and dropped a heavy plow yoke on his desk. "Now it's time for some real practice. For the next few days, I'm gonna show ya the ways of the Apple Family."

"Um...what?"

...

Just as Applejack said, she would put her new coltfriend through the rigorous process of molding him into one of her own. After nailing the lingo and accent the day before, Blueblood would have to learn the physical side of country living, which included laborious chores around the Apple homestead. It would teach the spoiled prince discipline, and keep Big Mac off his tired hooves for a few hours.

"C'mon, Blueblood, it ain't so hard!" said Applejack, as the two of them stood in a soil bed.

Blueblood was tied to a plow and heaved with all his might to drag it over the fertilizer. He barely moved three feet. "Applejack," he panted. "I understand learning the speech and everything, but this seems really unnecessary!"

Applejack leaned down close and looked at him lovingly. "You said you wanted to share your life with me, didn't you?"

"Well, yes, more than anything."

"Then this is how it's done! If you wanna be a simple folk, then hard labor is a big part of it. Now get into gear! This whole field's gotta be plowed by six o' clock!"

"Ugh, no wonder I had ponies doing this for me." Blueblood continued attempting to tug the plow over the soil.

Meanwhile, Twilight strolled down the dirt road past the farm, when she turned to see the odd forced labor.

"Only four-hundred-ninety more yards to go!" pushed Applejack. "C'mon, I'm barely seein' any sweat! Keep those lines straight!"

Twilight stared for a moment, then shook her head and continued walking. "I knew it. Rainbow owes me some money."

After hours of back-breaking plowing, Blueblood finally hauled himself through the entire field. He collapsed where he stood, gasping for air.

"Nice work there, Blue." Applejack stood before him. "Feels good to get yer workin' hooves, huh?"

Blueblood managed to catch his breath and look up at her. "Can I...can I have a glass of water?"

"Sure! We can take a break. After ya plant all the seeds where ya plowed."

"AAAAAGH!"

...

The next couple days passed by with more grueling farm work and house chores for Blueblood. The pampered prince griped and strained through it all, and even was almost moved to tears when he got a splinter. But deep down, he was determined to adapt to the ways of the common pony, and appreciate what his new love went through on a daily basis. He wanted to show Applejack his loyalty even if it killed him.

"Okay, Bluey," said Applejack, standing by one of her numerous trees with a few baskets laid about. "You must've worked up some muscle by now after helping out around the farm."

Blueblood's knees wobbled. "Does this still count as a date?"

"There's just one thing I want ya to appreciate, Blue: the art of the applebuck!" She turned her back toward the tree, and silence fell upon the field as if drums were rolling. Applejack closed her eyes and focused all her concentration, taking her time. Then, with her rear legs retracted, she delivered the famous blow, slamming her hooves into the bark faster than a speeding cannonball. After several more seconds of silence, the apples hanging from the tree dropped from their branches and landed in the baskets; the tree was left completely barren of fruit.

Blueblood stared at her, excited and amazed by the kick. "You have such power in those legs." He uttered.

"Nopony's really mastered it like I have." Applejack boasted. "But since you wanna be a country pony, you might as well try to learn it too. Go ahead, Blue."

"Yes, my dear."

"What was that?"

"Uh, I mean, darn tootin'!" Blueblood approached an adjacent tree, and copied her actions as best as he could. After mustering all his strength, ignoring the soreness in his legs, he plunged his back hooves into the tree with a shudder. The shock went more through him than the tree. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Jeez! Motherfffffff- Ah! Sweet Celestia's- Ow, ow, ow!" He hopped around gripping his right rear leg in agony. Little did he notice the apple highest up in the tree wiggled loose, and tumbled down the branches. The apple even shook loose some of its comrades as it hit their branches, sending them all plopping into the baskets.

Applejack looked with surprise. "Sheeyoot! I never seen anypony buck that many apples on their first try."

"Is that a good thing?" asked Blueblood, massaging his tender hoof.

"Well darn, Blue," she grinned. "You just might be an Apple yet!"

Those words were music to Blueblood's ears. "Uh, great!" he smiled. "Can we stop now?"

"Just one more thing, then we'll call it a day." Applejack then began climbing the bucked tree.

Blueblood groaned, already feeling his legs falling out of their sockets. With a tired heave, he followed her up the trunk, slipping on the steep surface and hanging onto the branches for dear life. Applejack reached down and helped him up, until they were now sitting next to each other on a thick, high branch. The view from the top of the tree stretched surprisingly far across the whole town out ahead, and even to the distant hills around it. Blueblood felt relaxed by the moment, but wondered what menial task awaited him atop there.

"You really wanna learn my lifestyle n' everything, huh?" she spoke as she stared outward.

Blueblood realized that she just wanted to talk. "Well of course, my love. Like I said, you turned a new leaf for me. I want anybody to show me how to live like an ordinary pony, I want it to be you."

Applejack smiled at him. "That's some mighty fine commitment there, Bluey. But you don't have to go that far to prove that."

"What?" he retorted. "Then why did you have me do everything except make the beds?!"

"Because, you were a pampered, spoiled rich boy who couldn't lift a hoof." She shrugged. "That's just the honest truth. I knew that if I was gonna let ya into my heart, I had to see if you really meant provin' yourself to me. I don't care if you wanna be some country folk or not; I just wanted to see if you have what it takes to be a loyal special somepony."

Blueblood thought back to all the arduous tasks, and regretted how much he complained and struggled through it all. He sighed. "I suppose I'm not the strongest pony for that. If I could barely lift a bushel of apples, how can I expect to be the least bit loyal?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" Applejack touched his chest. "Blueblood, for a ritzy prince from Canterlot, you've proven more loyalty than I could've expected to see! No matter what I told you to do, you stuck with it the whole time even though you were almost miserable. If that isn't the sign of good coltfriend, or a hardened apple pony for that matter, I don't know what is. All that just showed how much ya really love me." She then scratched her mane sheepishly. "Plus, I partly just wanted to have a little fun with ya. Who says a date has to be all dinner n' manners?"

With relief, Blueblood grinned with her. "I said it before, you have an interesting definition of fun."

Then, Applejack leaned in to hug her stallion, nuzzling his chest. "I'm sorry for trickin' you like that. I guess I have a weird way of dealin' with love. You poor thing; you must be achin' all over."

Blueblood agreed highly. But now that he held her to his chest, all his stress and aching seemed to melt away. He brushed aside her golden mane and kissed her forehead as he hugged her tight. "It was pretty fun for me too."

"Blueblood! Hey, Prince Blueblood!"

"Spike?" Applejack looked down from the tree to see the scrappy little dragon hurrying across the field to them.

"Ah, lackey dragon, what news do you bring?" called Blueblood.

"Blueblood," said Spike, holding a rolled up parchment. "Princess Celestia has been trying to get in contact to you. Twilight wrote to her saying that you're extending your stay here in Ponyville and I think your aunts are concerned why. When are you coming back?"

Blueblood looked at Applejack, who looked back at him waiting for a response. It was quite clear that he wasn't going to pass up a romantic moment with his new marefriend. "Tell my aunt that I'll contact them tomorrow." He said to Spike. "I'll be back at the library later tonight."

Spike sighed before walking away. "Alright, but hurry up! All these letters are giving me some serious indigestion!"

As he exited, Applejack turned to her coltfriend. "Your aunts are worried about ya?"

"Truthfully, I think they're just happy that I'm away." Blueblood answered. "I don't see myself going back to Canterlot soon."

"Aw, the last thing you need is more stress." Applejack kissed him on the cheek. She sat back against the trunk of the tree at the base of the branch, then guided Blueblood to gently lie back against her, nestling his head on her chest. "Time for my hard-working stallion to relax." She pressed her hooves into his shoulders, rubbing deeply and loosening his tired muscles.

Blueblood felt a wave of rejuvenation sweep down his body from the massage. He enjoyed the feeling of her warm, soft, orange coat pillowing his head, almost to the point of falling asleep, and looked up at her. "I reckon that's mahty kind of ya, ma'am." He said in an accent.

Applejack chuckled and bent her head down to give his lips an upside down kiss. "Oh shut yer yap."

Comments

[SageBrony07]

That was sweet. Great chapter. I can't wait for the next one. Good luck.

[Diamond Sparkle]

If Blueblood wants Applejack as a marefriend and lover, he'll need to fit in with the Apple family.

[Stratocaster]

5283839 Thank you! Sorry if this chapter took a while to appear.

[Charzoid]

"Ah, I imagine every night with Applejack will be magical and exciting! Especially since last night when she showed me her mud shoot."
"...Excuse me?" Twilight stared, not sure what that meant.

Didn't think applejack was that kinda mare.
That or Twilight just has a dirty mind.

[Stratocaster]

5285522 I just wanted to see if anypony would catch that!

[The Great Derpsby]

"Plus, I partly just wanted to have a little fun with ya. Who says a date has to be all dinner n' manners?"

With relief, Blueblood grinned with her. "I said it before, you have an interesting definition of fun."

Then, Applejack leaned in to hug her stallion, nuzzling his chest. "I'm sorry for trickin' you like that. I guess I have a weird way of dealin' with love. You poor thing; you must be achin' all over."

Oh, don't worry. Next time he can swing the ruler. You know, show you how to be a proper Canterlot schoolfilly.

You can make a game of it^^

[Lillyfroo]

5286290
If you mean... that... at the end: BOWCHICKAWOWOW!
If you don't: OMG SO CUUUUUTE xD

[Soft Shell]

"Because, you were a pampered, spoiled rich boy who couldn't lift a finger."

Couldn't lift a what now??

[Yoshifan30]

"Well would ya look at me now!" grinned Granny Smith. "Havin' a big fancy prince eatin' in mah home! I'd like to see those good-fer-nothins over at the pear farm show that off at the county fair!"

Oh boy just wait until season 7 the perfect pear they're going to be in Surprise of this revelation

[Yoshifan30]

"Yeah, we don't make that crap!" repeated Apple Bloom.

Hey watch your language kid

[Yoshifan30]

Wow it looks like Prince Blueblood really is happy with Applejack and it looks like he's trying to impress the family and it has his ups and down and it looks like Applejack was trying to test him how much he is dedicated to prove that he actually truly cares about her which he did Whatta Man but it looks like Spike hold Blueblood about Princess Celestia and Luna asking what's going on and I wonder what they're going to talk about