After a fling with Rarity, Celestia inadvertently triggers her innate powers of fertility and begins to slowly transform into a divine being of pleasure and passion.
I'm really looking forward to Spike getting ahold of the rest of the mane 6. I can just imagine all of them trying to get a piece of his dick.
Can't wait for the next chapter. Although, I do recommend expanding the actual sex scenes a bit. The lead-up is spot on, but the actual sex was lacking a bit. There is an erotic thesaurus floating around for clop writers, and I highly suggest you using it to spice up your scenes. I'll happily send you a link if you need it. Also, I hope they stop growing at some point, because eventually its just going to get ridiculous, but its your story so I really don't have a say in it.
Personally, this story has like all of my kinks, so I really want it to be the best it could be.
5778175 Is the sex scene just too short? One of the side effects on their condition is they're constantly on edge and it really doesn't take much to get them off.
And yeah, they are getting pretty big, but Hyper is a theme in the later part of this story. Discord wants his enemies to be too big to follow him into the castle, but I won't give any more plot away.
5780418 Yea, I would have to say the sex scene is a bit short. As I said, the setup was lengthy and well done, but the actual sex was a but too fast in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with them cumming fast, but following your logic I would assume they could get off more than once in a short amount of time, which is a way you could extend the scenes.
I hope I don't come off as an asshole telling you what to do with your story, I know how that feels.
5781168 I hadn't thought of multiple sessions in one go, I'll use that :P
No, I don't mind, I appreciate the feedback. It's my first clopfic and in fact first real attempt at describing sex in writing, so I'm in no way unappreciative of constructive criticism.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/10/21/128823__princess+luna_princess+celestia_suggestive_edit_artist-colon-johnjoseco_princess+molestia_thread.png
...Why.
Why is this popular.
I'm really looking forward to Spike getting ahold of the rest of the mane 6. I can just imagine all of them trying to get a piece of his dick.
Can't wait for the next chapter. Although, I do recommend expanding the actual sex scenes a bit. The lead-up is spot on, but the actual sex was lacking a bit. There is an erotic thesaurus floating around for clop writers, and I highly suggest you using it to spice up your scenes. I'll happily send you a link if you need it. Also, I hope they stop growing at some point, because eventually its just going to get ridiculous, but its your story so I really don't have a say in it.
Personally, this story has like all of my kinks, so I really want it to be the best it could be.
Yay for chaos! Sexy, sexy chaos!
5778175 Is the sex scene just too short? One of the side effects on their condition is they're constantly on edge and it really doesn't take much to get them off.
And yeah, they are getting pretty big, but Hyper is a theme in the later part of this story. Discord wants his enemies to be too big to follow him into the castle, but I won't give any more plot away.
-groans with a grin- Ah... It's a really good chapter when reading it makes me cum.
5780418
Yea, I would have to say the sex scene is a bit short. As I said, the setup was lengthy and well done, but the actual sex was a but too fast in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with them cumming fast, but following your logic I would assume they could get off more than once in a short amount of time, which is a way you could extend the scenes.
I hope I don't come off as an asshole telling you what to do with your story, I know how that feels.
5781168 I hadn't thought of multiple sessions in one go, I'll use that :P
No, I don't mind, I appreciate the feedback. It's my first clopfic and in fact first real attempt at describing sex in writing, so I'm in no way unappreciative of constructive criticism.
Jesus Christ this story.![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
5781772 he hasn't appeared yet, I might be able to give him a cameo later though.
5781893![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
please write more of this story
5901386
Next part should be up soon.![:moustache:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/moustache.png)
i know im way late but you need to continue this great story