Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
898 users online
593,048 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting HiE perspective.
I know right?
this story is interesting you have caught my attention
besides all the doctors, nurses and volunteers are unsung heroes who risk their lives to treat the other people that's what this fic I express great job
greetings and good luck
This looks like an interesting story. I hope to see more of it and the way he will interact with the Mane 6 and the Princesses when they inevitably come to visit him.
Very interesting start with a rather different approach than usual. Looking forward to seeing it progress.
"All the other doctors are busy" patients are treated by severity first, unless literally every other patient was in danger of dying a Doctor would be there to help.
"Charred skin of the third-degree burn" Third degree burns means all your skin is gone. http://hospitals.unm.edu/burn/classification.shtml
Coolant? Dude, what are you talking about?
"Prepare the skin graft" - healthy skin is taken from the patient (or someone else, but most often the person with the burn) and applied to the burned area. It is a procedure that is *not* done right after you are burned. Did they get it from someone else? I guess Graft Vs Host disease doesn't exist in Equestria.
So, so many things wrong with this. Did you do any research?
Interesting premise but the incorrect medicine bothers me. Even if this is the way Equestrians do medicine, how would he know? He literally just got there 15 minutes ago.
5185900
For your first point, I agree that it's really far-fetched. However, I needed a way to introduce surgery and show how it will be portrayed in the story.
For your second and third point, you are 100% correct. I understand that this surgery was not correct. I was basing this surgery off of one of the Trauma series operations. I also know that third degree burns are white or black and leathery, and that they are not charred. However, as I said above, I was basing this surgery off of fiction and I wanted to have it done in one go. Jumping ahead a few days in the middle of the story to do another procedure would make the story choppy in my opinion.
For your fourth point, this procedure can be done in cases of severe burns. http://www.regionshospital.com/rh/specialties/burn-center/skin-grafting.html However, this was a lack of communication on my part because I did not state in the story that the nurse removed skin from the donor site on the patient's inner thigh. For this, I am sorry. As for GVHD, there is a "60 - 80% when the donor and recipient are not related." It's not 100% that she would suffer from this.
For your last point, I missed this and I am sorry. Just assume he's lucky.
I apologise for my lack of research and I will make an effort to improve these sections of the story in the future.
5186228 If you're looking for justifications, you could say that someone had gone to fetch the surgeon, but they hadn't shown up yet. Ponyville is a fairly rural town compared to someplace like Manehattan, I could see them not having someone for every type of medical emergency at all hours. Other doctors being busy tending to smaller injuries or keeping the severe cases stable until the specialists can arrive.
Speaking of specialists, (and please, those more knowledgeable are more than open to correct me) I'm under the impression that Anesthesiology is not something that all nurses have training in. It seems to me to be a mildly dangerous assumption to make that Redheart can perform it without checking to be sure. Honestly, I think it would make more sense for Redheart to call in for the anesthesiologist over the PA system, as I understand that to be a 'full-time' job; and by that, I mean that that's all they do, just check to make sure the patient is getting the right amount of anesthesia; and it would free up Redheart to do her assisting and appropriating the donor graft without having to also do that checking.
Onto other things...
Your opening gave me a very rushed feeling, very little description of the area, little description of the oppressive, stifling heat, nothing about the roaring fire deafening him, nor the smoke making his eyes water and causing a burning, itching sensation in his lungs. It just felt to me like it was kind of glossing over the danger of being in a building that was actively on fire and burning to the ground all around him.
I know the above paragraph may make it sound like I'm getting on to you for not describing it exactly this way, or exactly that way, but the gist of what I'm trying to say is that there isn't a whole lot of description, not a whole lot of opportunity to become immersed, it's glossed over, in and out in less than 500 words (I considered "... I hurried inside" to be the end of the 'opening', and the next paragraph the start of the 'Now let's get the nice lady-creature some help' section).
And a smaller question: How did he know he was on the second story? Did he look out a window? Could he feel it in how much the floor vibrated when he walked across it? Just... how?
Maybe it's just my inner cynic peeking through, but I see that you've selected the 'Sex' tag for the story as well as rated it Mature. I'm really hoping that you're not planning on Dr. Bowman having those type of relations with any of his patients, as that's explicitly disallowed according to the Hippocratic Oath.
oh, and one minor nitpick:
Should probably capitalize that. "Ministry of Health".
There's probably some other minor grammatical/spelling errors, but Dnar Semaj's issues as well as the ones I brought up were the biggest things for me with this story.
Apart from all that, I hope this does well. I like the basic idea of a doctor-centered fic. Please keep at it.
I would critasise you but i see several people have beaten me to it so ill say this. Keep it up
you should add an army corpsman/woman. THOSE FUCKERS ARE TOUGH! They run into place that make the valley of death look like a picnic with nothing but a first aid kit and an army .45 and a will to heal (real quote). there is a story of a corpsman during WWII who, while giving first aid to a downed soldier, held off 2 kamikaze charges. Another took 2 shots to the chest while helping someone, finished, neglected to give himself aid and moved onto another before getting shot in the head. THEY ARE A SPECIAL FORCES IN THEIR OWN RIGHTS!
5184948
GOD DAMMIT! you never escape it.
5188805 Oh please. Everyone have paperwork.
Same like Exam. school.
I like this
Decent story so far, a bit rushed. As for the surgery, I thought the first thing they would want to do was get an I.V. going as well as start an Intubation. Then from there I would figure checking for internal bleeding would be the highest on the priority list so it can be taken care of to lower the risk of the patient dying. BUT this isn't my story and I'm no medical expert. I'm only speculating here. If a... specific person in my life were still around I'd ask them as they were a Trauma Nurse. Still you have my interest, and I like this.
This is good, but the dialogue needs a bit of tweaking in a lot of places, it sounds almost forced in some places, and some things just seem too elaborate for someone to use in every-day conversation IE exactly what dialogue should be in this story. The most blatant one to point out would be this:
"I've been a surgeon for ten years" isn't something someone just quickly tacks on at the end of what they were saying as if they forgot they were supposed to say it, which is what "Oh, and" implies.
OOooooo... doctor fic... I'm getting NIght Shift vibes from this... that and ER, hehehe.
Nice start to this, methinks I shall read on, good show!
Doctor who?
(Ba-Dum Tish!)
Well this is interesting. I'm a little surprised that they just let some strange alien operate without so much as a by-your-leave, but needs must when the narrative drives. let us see where this goes, yes?
You really wouldn't do exploratory surgery for broken ribs. You would do that if you suspected internal organ damage like a lacerated spleen. Things like lower body temperature and blood pressure are red flags especially if there is no or little external bleeding. I did premed and failed out of medical school. Anyway they don't even treat broken ribs on their own and you won't even get a perception for the good stuff unless you're over 40. Also if a rib does puncture something it's going to be a lung and there are better ways to diagnose that instead of exploratory surgery.
9490510
True. They don't even wrap them anymore. Just warn you not to take ibuprofen and take it easy.
But I think the surgery was to remove damage from third degree burns.
Oooooooo, I am LIKING this, straight into the action. Not many stories like this, it's all about the soldiers and warriors, never the ones who have to patch em up afterwards haha