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Interesting HiE perspective.
I know right?
this story is interesting you have caught my attention
besides all the doctors, nurses and volunteers are unsung heroes who risk their lives to treat the other people that's what this fic I express great job
greetings and good luck
This looks like an interesting story. I hope to see more of it and the way he will interact with the Mane 6 and the Princesses when they inevitably come to visit him.
Very interesting start with a rather different approach than usual. Looking forward to seeing it progress.
"All the other doctors are busy" patients are treated by severity first, unless literally every other patient was in danger of dying a Doctor would be there to help.
"Charred skin of the third-degree burn" Third degree burns means all your skin is gone. http://hospitals.unm.edu/burn/classification.shtml
Coolant? Dude, what are you talking about?
"Prepare the skin graft" - healthy skin is taken from the patient (or someone else, but most often the person with the burn) and applied to the burned area. It is a procedure that is *not* done right after you are burned. Did they get it from someone else? I guess Graft Vs Host disease doesn't exist in Equestria.
So, so many things wrong with this. Did you do any research?
Interesting premise but the incorrect medicine bothers me. Even if this is the way Equestrians do medicine, how would he know? He literally just got there 15 minutes ago.
5185900
For your first point, I agree that it's really far-fetched. However, I needed a way to introduce surgery and show how it will be portrayed in the story.
For your second and third point, you are 100% correct. I understand that this surgery was not correct. I was basing this surgery off of one of the Trauma series operations. I also know that third degree burns are white or black and leathery, and that they are not charred. However, as I said above, I was basing this surgery off of fiction and I wanted to have it done in one go. Jumping ahead a few days in the middle of the story to do another procedure would make the story choppy in my opinion.
For your fourth point, this procedure can be done in cases of severe burns. http://www.regionshospital.com/rh/specialties/burn-center/skin-grafting.html However, this was a lack of communication on my part because I did not state in the story that the nurse removed skin from the donor site on the patient's inner thigh. For this, I am sorry. As for GVHD, there is a "60 - 80% when the donor and recipient are not related." It's not 100% that she would suffer from this.
For your last point, I missed this and I am sorry. Just assume he's lucky.
I apologise for my lack of research and I will make an effort to improve these sections of the story in the future.
5186228 If you're looking for justifications, you could say that someone had gone to fetch the surgeon, but they hadn't shown up yet. Ponyville is a fairly rural town compared to someplace like Manehattan, I could see them not having someone for every type of medical emergency at all hours. Other doctors being busy tending to smaller injuries or keeping the severe cases stable until the specialists can arrive.
Speaking of specialists, (and please, those more knowledgeable are more than open to correct me) I'm under the impression that Anesthesiology is not something that all nurses have training in. It seems to me to be a mildly dangerous assumption to make that Redheart can perform it without checking to be sure. Honestly, I think it would make more sense for Redheart to call in for the anesthesiologist over the PA system, as I understand that to be a 'full-time' job; and by that, I mean that that's all they do, just check to make sure the patient is getting the right amount of anesthesia; and it would free up Redheart to do her assisting and appropriating the donor graft without having to also do that checking.
Onto other things...
Your opening gave me a very rushed feeling, very little description of the area, little description of the oppressive, stifling heat, nothing about the roaring fire deafening him, nor the smoke making his eyes water and causing a burning, itching sensation in his lungs. It just felt to me like it was kind of glossing over the danger of being in a building that was actively on fire and burning to the ground all around him.
I know the above paragraph may make it sound like I'm getting on to you for not describing it exactly this way, or exactly that way, but the gist of what I'm trying to say is that there isn't a whole lot of description, not a whole lot of opportunity to become immersed, it's glossed over, in and out in less than 500 words (I considered "... I hurried inside" to be the end of the 'opening', and the next paragraph the start of the 'Now let's get the nice lady-creature some help' section).
And a smaller question: How did he know he was on the second story? Did he look out a window? Could he feel it in how much the floor vibrated when he walked across it? Just... how?
Maybe it's just my inner cynic peeking through, but I see that you've selected the 'Sex' tag for the story as well as rated it Mature. I'm really hoping that you're not planning on Dr. Bowman having those type of relations with any of his patients, as that's explicitly disallowed according to the Hippocratic Oath.
oh, and one minor nitpick:
Should probably capitalize that. "Ministry of Health".
There's probably some other minor grammatical/spelling errors, but Dnar Semaj's issues as well as the ones I brought up were the biggest things for me with this story.
Apart from all that, I hope this does well. I like the basic idea of a doctor-centered fic. Please keep at it.
I would critasise you but i see several people have beaten me to it so ill say this. Keep it up
you should add an army corpsman/woman. THOSE FUCKERS ARE TOUGH! They run into place that make the valley of death look like a picnic with nothing but a first aid kit and an army .45 and a will to heal (real quote). there is a story of a corpsman during WWII who, while giving first aid to a downed soldier, held off 2 kamikaze charges. Another took 2 shots to the chest while helping someone, finished, neglected to give himself aid and moved onto another before getting shot in the head. THEY ARE A SPECIAL FORCES IN THEIR OWN RIGHTS!
5184948
GOD DAMMIT! you never escape it.
5188805 Oh please. Everyone have paperwork.
Same like Exam. school.
So he meets one person that's a moron and he decides the city isn't worth working in?
5214928 Keep in mind that he was on the fence about the job. That just pushed him over the edge.
5214951 It's just rather as bigoted as he considered that asshole. Oh hey one guy is an asshole *Writes off the entire city of Canterlot as similar to him*
Ok, this chapter was great. He operation scene was well-written and I enjoyed seeing Carter having so much in common with Celestia.
5215003
I think it's more a situation of, he doesn't know anyone in Canterlot, compared to in Ponyville where he already knows what the people are like, has friends etc. If the odds were that he would have to operate with others who were just as stuck up as this one grade S moron on a regular basis, then he didn't want to make the move.
Think of it as seeing the sides of a coin, one side holds the people like S grade moron here, while the other shows a much brighter side, the side that shows people like Celestia and Fleur, which, despite physical limitations, appears to be larger than it's opposing face. If you only meet people who show off the negative, obviously you'll having a negatively biased opinion.
I cant for the life of me figure out who youre pairing this guy with.
wow very very nice
That moment when you realize right after you publish a chapter that you spelled temptations wrong.
This is interesting, I hope to see more.
Love the way that Carter and Celestia are bonding/flirting with each other.
Love the way that Carter and Celestia are bonding/flirting with each other.
Yeah....You know it. oil massage techniques.
Great chapter.
damm...i didn't know Chapter 4? oh...yeah i remember now. the hidden chap.
Good job. I love it.
Go on strike for more chapters!
5377710
Sorry it's taking so long. This is a big chapter: around 10,000 words and I'm at 9,000. So, I will defiantly be done by the end of January. Sorry for the wait.
"Disobeyment" = disobedience
Apart from that, no mistakes that caught my eye. Good chapter!
Yyyaaasss, gimme moar! Haha love it so far man, keep it up!
Carter's determination as a doctor reminds me of Doctor Tony Tony Chopper, a fictional reindeer/human hybrid who is a pirate doctor in the Anime One Piece -
onepiecesite.altervista.org/32.jpg
more?
If that turns out to be Luna getting between the two of them...
replygif.net/thumbnail/463.gif
This cheater is great. I hope to see more of this in the future.
"...There is an old law that prohibits the romantic relationship between royalty and a citizen from any country,"
Good thing that he comes from another world. I don't think that that rule applies to aliens. And said rule hasn't been made yet either.
MOAR
hehehehe, ah nice chapter.
Je I wonder, did the law will still apply for him, if Celestia make him a noble?
"Challenge Accepted!" ~ The Universe
5458777
"I think you'll be in for a surprise" -Goddess of fate
5458736
Even if it won't be applied, making him a noble would result in even more problems.
And "There's nothing you can do to change society" - is wrong. Actually, when something is sait a lot of times, people start believing it. So it is possible to infuse some thoughts. Of course, that could take a few centuries - but Tia's immortal anyway. But should be mentioned that it would be necessary to ovecome counter-influence of nobility is this path to be chosen.
5462261
Then what about make him 'the king of the humans'? he is the only one of his race in Equestria right? would't that technically make him that?
Plains, not planes
5458777 cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1318963036593_9464799.png
5463164 Thanks, I didn't see that.
5463078 A king needs a kingdom, right? Or if the is exiled, something like a magic sword or a prophesy of return - at least that's how it works in fantasy. Carter has neither.
5458440 He can technically be considered a Equestria citizen because of living and working in there. And I am sure he is officially because of working in a hospital(any job other that part-time cleaner)requires a ton of documents, including ID. And no country but Equestria can provide it.
5462261
Could you elaborate on that? I didn't quite understand what you meant.
5463310
Well that is what the medias are for right? I mean they already spread the rumor of 'the wrath of human's so why not spread another saying he is like a rightful prince of the humans, and got exile to prevent a war betweens clans or something like that.
That sounds like something the media would buy
5463340 Of course. First of all, Celestia is the nobliest pony in the world by definition - she's royal, btw. So if she decides to become closer to the commoners, other nobles have to become closer an well. And if we want to make everyone see her not only as a Princess but also as a living pony, everyone will also understand that "these nobles ain't so noble really", which is really bad for them. Mainly because they cannot thus be seen as superiors by birth and have to prove it by hard work. Assuming they're still far from stupid(else they wouldn't be an obstacle) someone will catch the attempt to change public opinion, predict results for themselves, dislike it and will try to counter it.
5463466 First of all, the wrath story was totally based on real facts. And it is not so good for Carter's reputation overall because of ponies afraid of "invoking human wrath" are less likely to work with him and more - to spread the rumor about him being wrathful, dangerous, etc. Not to mention that it would make him equal or upper to most of the nobles, which means they'll try to not to let it be. Add that humans are considered "horrible" anyway. Also, even by being a prince in exile he is still a citizen of some country, and most likely of Equestria now.