You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You

by PinkiePiedPiper

Chapter 3: A Meeting of Partners

Here is the disclaimer: I don’t own MLP: FiM, aside from my Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack figures. Oh, oops! I don’t own the RIGHTS to MLP: FiM. That belongs to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.

You Wouldn’t Believe Me if I Told You

Chapter 3: A Meeting of Partners

“Yup. He’s dead alright.”

Steve only had to look at Sven’s face to see that. His face was extremely pale, and he had no pulse and was not breathing. He was also very cold.

The girls looked on slightly shocked that he was dead so suddenly. They had just been talking to him last night, and now he was dead as dead can get.

“Do you know how he died?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight answered this one. “I would say judging by the way that scratch wound on his leg has swollen that it was from poison. That spike from the wall that pierced his leg must have been poisoned! And judging by the temperature of his body, I would say that he must have died very shortly after we all went to sleep. I can only hope he did indeed fall asleep before succumbing to the poison; that would have been horrible!”

“He died to save my life…” Rainbow half-whispered. Different feelings swept around in her mind. She felt bad that someone had died for her, but even though he had saved her life, there was only so much sadness that could be found for him. She had, after all, only known him for a few hours at most. Despite that, she felt somewhat guilty for not being more distraught that he was dead.

A few silent minutes drifted by. No one said a word, barely any move was made. They all remained still by Sven's corpse, not able to look away, yet unable to continue for much longer.

“What do we do now?” Steve said to break the trance-like state they had fallen into. “I mean, it’s not like we can bury him. I wonder why Sauron did not take him yet…”

Twilight said, “Because this is a survival situation, I think that we should check him for anything useful and dispose of his remains off the side of the platform. That is about as good of a burial as we can muster.”

“And by ‘we should search him’ you really mean me.” Steve pointed out. “I mean, neither of you are winning any dexterity awards with those hooves of yours, and magic is no longer an option, either.”

They nodded slowly. Twilight was visibly irked by the reminder of her removed powers. The two Equestrians shuffled over to the edge of the arena to leave Steve to his duties as undertaker, and, as he saw it, grave robber.

* * * * *

Only a few minutes later, Steve walked over to the girls, Sven over his shoulder. He placed the corpse next to the edge of the square plot of land furthest from Sauron’s Tower. Instead of the customary practice of throwing dirt on the coffin, they all played a part in rolling it off the side.

Nobody watched it fall.

They stood in respectful silence for a minute, each paying their respects silently for the a man that none of them really knew. To Rainbow Dash, he was a self-sacrificing rescuer of a certain pegasus in distress. To Twilight he was a brave soul from another dimension who stayed pure and sane in this twisted game as everyone he knew was killed off around him. To Steve, he had just been an annoying character from a video game at first, but now he saw Sven as an O.K. character from a video game. But he was still annoying.

“All he had was a few gold coins, a silver necklace, a lockpick, the clothes on his back, and the key to his house,” Steve reported. But still no one moved. “I figured we couldn’t use any of that stuff so I just left it in his pockets.” They both nodded their heads slightly.

That was almost everything he had had, minus an iron dagger, Steve mused inwardly. But that went over the other side as soon as I found it. No sense having a weapon around to make killing each other easier.

Part of him had wanted to keep the dagger. A very strong and convincing part, in fact. Just for self defense, of course, he had thought. No! This must be Sauron talking! Well I’ll show you! With that he had flung the small weapon as hard as he could in the opposite direction of his two pony companions, fittingly in the direction of Sauron himself. That had made Steve smile.

“So,” Rainbow began, “not to be a downer on the mood or anything, but how long do you figure until that’s us rolling off lifelessly into nothingness?”

“I’d really rather not think that far ahead,” said Steve. Twilight could do nothing but agree wholeheartedly in the short silence that followed.

So Rainbow Dash, who really hated these long pauses, spoke up again. “Ok then… so now what?”

Good question, thought the other two simultaneously.

* * * * *

“Now what?” said Sauron to himself, perched atop Barad-dur in all his burning ocular glory.

He had succeeded, to his delight, but not to his surprise, in introducing more players to his little battlefield to finish off those last two from Riverwood in Skyrim. He had not planned, however, for both of them to be finished off in such a short time, and as such he had not made any new plans for the three remaining combatants.

“None of them have started killing one another yet! I need more players and a plan for them when they get here. But who shall I get? What do I really need to get the most fun I can out of this?”

Because he had known the instant that Sven had died, he had spent most of the time they had been asleep trying to devise a plan. But after doing the same sort of thing over and over with only slightly different situations and unwilling participants, the whole idea was beginning to wear a bit on the thin side.

“I cannot merely release them, and I also do not want to simply kill them. There is no fun in that. What do I need? Who should I ge-“

His thought was cut short when he felt the sudden intrusion of some powerful being. He was not sure what it was, but it certainly was not from anywhere in Middle Earth.

“Show yourself, worthless cretin! How dare you intrude upon my tower! I shall find you, and when I do, I will-“

He was interrupted mid-sentence yet again by the entity, but this time by a spine-tinglingly maniacal laugh. Well, mortals would call it that, but Sauron merely labelled it as annoying.

“Mu- hahahahahaha!” it chortled in its throat. “Whatcha gonna do, you overgrown eyeball? Glare me to death? Look at me funny? Oh no! I don’t think looking at me funny would do more than just make me laugh! I do so love to laugh”

In all his years, Sauron had never encountered a being that defied his power so openly. The worst part of it, for him, was that he had yet to find where the voice was coming from.

“I am warni-“

“Interrupting you is so much fun! I do believe we could become quite fast of friends, you and I.” The being paused, “I also think that I may prove to be of assistance with your little quandary. The solution does tickle me somewhat pink. Not literally, of course, but then again not far from it. But if you so insist on finding me, I suppose I will just have to reveal myself, party-pooper.”

Suddenly, there in Sauron’s midst he appeared. Sauron had never seen the likes of this creature before, and that was saying something.

The beast had a long, grey, snake-like body with mismatched… everything. Its arms, legs, wings and horns all seemed to have been removed from different creatures and assembled Frankenstein style into one dragon-like entity. Sauron marvelled that such a chaotic being could exist.

The dragon-thing was reclined on an upside-down beach chair on top of an umbrella with its bell top upturned the wrong way. It was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, also on the wrong way, and holding a martini glass with an orange liquid inside.

All of this disappeared from around the creature, which remained lounged in the air, as it began speaking.

“Greetings from Equestria, foul overlord!” it greeted cheerily. “I would shake your hand, but you seem to have misplaced them. I have done such on occasion, and they can be the greatest pain to find!”

Sauron’s mind blanked on a response.

“Silly me, I have not introduced myself, yet, have I? I am Discord, Dragonequus and God of Chaos! Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sauron, Burning Ball of the Spiky Tower, Lord of all Gloomsville.”

He then proceeded to shake a lone hand he had manifested in front of Sauron. “Now, isn’t that a firm grip you’ve got! Now if you’d let go, we can get down to business.”

Releasing the hand as it dissolved, Discord whipped out a pipe and reading glasses, and sat in a newly conjured armchair, puffing the wrong end as he began.

“First off,” he said, grinning, “we are going to need a lot more ponies…”

Author’s note: More pony characters are going to be introduced sometime in the next few chapters. If you have one in particular from the show that you want to see, leave a comment and I’ll be sure to try to incorporate them as much as possible.
Thanks for the support so far! You all deserve a big Pinkie Pie hug! Or a Fluttershy hug, whichever you prefer.

Comments

[PinkiePiedPiper]

491102

i really did enjoy discord mocking sauron to his face... erm, eye.

[PieisGood4U]

Liking story but let me say my honest opinions i aquired from the old chapters:

DA F*Q DID I JUST READ??!?!?!?

thats how i feel. but once again it is good.