TMPDA: Last One In The Nest

by Myriad of Failure

Family Bonding

"Your turn Auntie!"

"Thanks, Lulu." I took the die from my niece and rolled it clumsily. By now, I was certain that unicorns had invented board games just to annoy the other pony races. Dice were not designed for hooves.

I glared as the die came up with only one dot.

"Better luck next time, Sissy," Fantasia smiled, nudging my miniature top hat one square forwards. She picked up the die and rolled a four, letting her silver satchel reach the finish line first. I was only two squares behind her.

"Well that was fun, wasn't it, ladies?" Our newest addition to the family smiled around at us naively. He required an education into the competitive nature of family games, as well as the long-standing grudges and bitterness that ensued.

"But she won again!" I whined. Lulu patted my hoof while my sister grinned devilishly.

"It's not my fault that you can't win, Sissy - Snakes and Ladders is clearly too complicated for you..." We shared a dark glower. She would never have won if this had been charades... As it currently stood, my sister had won five games, my niece had won two, and my sister's coltfriend had won one. I, rather disappointingly, was yet to win.

"Have my little pups finished playing?" A shrill voice trilled from the kitchen, "Because I think it's time for little fillies to be tucked up in bed!" My mother came through into the dark living room, her pink eyes glowing from beneath her sharply styled mane. They squinted at the four forms sprawled out in relative brightness. To allow the stallion a fair chance, we'd had to light a candle so that he could see.

"But, Grandma!" Lullaby protested, only to be scooped up in one of my mother's wings. "I'm old enough to stay up tonight!"

"You'll be old enough when I say so, little filly," said the mare, far more kindly than she had ever spoken to her own children. Although, we had managed to coax a small glass of mulled wine into her, so maybe it was that calming her down. Sonata was a mare to be reckoned with - small, fluffy and ferocious. The kind you didn't want to meet alone in a dark alley - especially if you knew what she could do with a conductor's baton and a tuba. I've been told that the results are pretty messy.

She left with Lullaby, who waved at me, blew a kiss to her mother, and smiled shyly at her... well - stepfather? Thinking about it, I supposed that's what he was now - not that marriage had been discussed. Lullaby's real father was some unknown stallion Fantasia had met after a gig at some fancy hotel. She remembered that he was a unicorn with a white coat - though you could tell that from looking at Lulu, considering that none of our family could ever be that colourful. Except for those details she was too drunk to recall any more.

Their departure forced me to face my gloating sister.

"Now, ladies," Sun Dial interjected, finally noticing the simmering tension, "Hearth's Warming Eve is all about the harmony of friends and settling disputes - do the two of you really want to be fighting tonight?"

"I don't think you get much say in the matter, Sunny." I quipped back. I knew he didn't like the nickname (mainly because it was a private thing between him and Fantasia; he called her 'Mooney'). I also knew that he didn't like me very much either - he was just too polite to say anything. After I had exposed my sister's scandalous nature to him, he seemed to take it as some sort of personal offence and took my sister's side. I maintained the argument that I was doing it out of good intentions - I mean, who wouldn't want to know that the mare they were dating was a sorry, good-for-nothing horse who didn't know how to keep her eyes to herself?

For some unknown reason, they'd managed to continue dating for the past five months... I had a feeling that was Fantasia's personal record for a long-term relationship.

"Now, Sissy," Fantasia cuddled up to her coltfriend more closely, "Sun Dial has a good point - we should have a heart-to-heart. So why don't you tell your big sister what's bothering you?"

"You keep winning."

"Ah - but that's just the superficial problem. For this to work, you're going to have to tell me your deepest resentments and desires." She closed her candy-floss coloured eyes and smiled serenely. A pair of fuzzy ears twitched in my direction. "You can trust me, Sissy - just let everything out. Take a deep breath in... and out... Now feel the tension leaving your muscles. Reach for your true feelings..."

"I never win!"

"I won't help you if you're refusing to do this properly!" She snapped, breaking the calm atmosphere.

"What's my little pup refusing to do?" Our mother stalked into the room, carrying a stocking in one wing. She hung it on a peg over the fireplace with the four others that were already there. Mine was the best - it had spiders on and didn't even have any holes in it yet. Fantasia's had a large tear were an owl once sat.

"She won't tell me what's wrong!"

"She wants me to tell her all my secrets!"

Our mother ignored both of us and turned to face Sun Dial. "I do hope you're having a good evening, sunshine. I'm sorry it has to be with these two whiners."

"Oh, don't apologise, Mrs Sonata. I'm having a wonderful time." The stallion tapped his chin with a golden hoof. "It is fascinating to see how you spend Hearth's Warming Eve - everypony's family has it's own special routine, do they not?"

"Well - we never celebrated till we moved to Canterlot." My mother said, waving a hoof dismissively, "It isn't something that caught on in the caves. You see, while the three pony tribes were so quick to celebrate their unity, they completely missed out the bat ponies in their festivities!"

"Technically," I interrupted, "seeing as the bat ponies had already colonised the 'new land', we should have welcomed the three tribes to Equestria. The problem was that our ancestors were bad hosts and chose not to show up." A hoof thwacked against my ear for my wise insight, leaving a persistent ringing.

"Maybe we would have done - if the ponies hadn't brought the windigoes with them! Your ancestors were probably freezing in their caves!" She patted Sun Dial fondly. "Not that we blame you, sunshine." The unicorn nodded awkwardly; his emerald green corkscrews bounced mesmerizingly when he did so. I couldn't help wondering if he took longer than Fantasia to get ready - a mane like that was high maintenance, and must have required a strict conditioning routine. Probably. I wouldn't know - my own manestyle was achieved with as little effort as possible.

"Maybe we should play another game?" I suggested tactfully. "We can't exactly sing carols while Lulu's in bed." Lullaby was only six years old, and had to sleep through the night so that she could be on time for school. She did have two weeks of holiday, but my mother believed in maintaining routines - holiday or not.

"I thought you were tired of games, little sister?"

"I'm tired of you winning the games -"

"Maybe you should try to do better."

"How? It's a game of chance!"

"Maybe the dice don't like you..."

"Maybe you fixed them!"

Our mother coughed, stepping between us onto the board. We fell silent immediately. "I'll send the pair of you to bed if you don't behave. Don't think you're too old." She offered a sickly-sweet smile to Sun Dial. "Don't worry, sunshine - I won't be telling you what to do." The unicorn was about to reply in that horribly gracious way, but Sonata held up her hoof. "Unless I have to."

With that she stalked off, moving out into the hall.

"Why don't we check your horoscopes, little pups?" Her voice called back, as if we were foals tumbling around the cave floors again.

---

After living in Canterlot for over half my life, I had stopped bothering to check my horoscope. It would be called heresy back in the caves - a slight to my culture, a disregard for the stars we lived under.

But, seriously? You want me to believe that the stars can tell my future?

Well, apart from the stars that released our glorious Moon Goddess from her imprisonment, and the idea that we all have destinies, and the so-called ascension of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the fact that cutie marks sometimes predict your ultimate fate...

So apart from those things, there's nothing to believe in at all.

The truth was that I didn't get the time to check, and the articles in the Equestrian magazines didn't do it properly. Luckily, my mother had been plotting the movements of the night's sky for years, after converting the attic into our own private observatory. While this might have seemed a little drastic, it was infinitely more comfortable than lying out in the snow for half a night.

I assumed my favourite beanbag in the corner, reclining enough to see through the skylight. The snow had stopped for now, leaving a clear, cloudless sky. A myriad of stars stretched out above me, a canopy against whatever lay beyond the sky. Perhaps there would be planets that you could see, or the vast expanse of the moon. A world full of glistening lights.

"So, sunshine - as our guest, you can go first. What's your star sign?"

"Um, well, my birthday is in February... so, I think it's Pisces..."

"Okay." She said swiftly, judging the poor stallion for not knowing - Fantasia ought to have warned him. Her nose raised over the charts tersely, tracing the lines she had drawn earlier. Taking out the silver ornaments from one of the many wooden boxes, she laid them out across the route. Occasionally, she would backtrack, making sure that everything linked, joined, and converged at the right points. Eventually, after a glance at tonight's sky, she lifted up a strange contraption in her wing, holding it above the entire map. To anypony else, it would look like a foal's mobile.

"So, Pisces, the Sun is nicely out of the way, and Neptune is actually just leaving this system -" she indicated with one of her hooves to a space on the charts, "- and the Moon is particularly full and radiant tonight." She shifted the jangling mobile. "But... Jupiter is finally coming into line here, with Venus -" Fantasia squealed with delight, hugging Sun Dial tightly around the neck, "- giving you a very nice outlook for the next year." Even my mother cracked a rare grin, raising an eyebrow knowingly to Fantasia.

"That sounds... good?" The unicorn glanced at his mare-friend quickly, wanting to know what was going on. "Especially the bit with, uh - Venus?" He reached a hoof to where my sister was throttling him. "Could you maybe loosen your grip a little?"

"Yes it is, Sunny! It is very good." Fantasia ignored his pleas for more air and nuzzled his cheek instead. I pretended to be sick.

"So, who's next?" The small bat pony gathered the things from her charts and looked at me. "How about you try and read your sister's, little pup?"

"Oh, I thought, y'know, maybe Fantasia should do yours now?" I couldn't do the reading - I'd forgotten how the charts worked! Fantasia had been the one to do it for the last three years, seeing as my mother refused to let anypony read their own fortune. Apparently it brought bad luck or something.

"No, no - Asia seems rather settled there. I'm sure even you could manage this."

"Sure..." I slumped out of the beanbag, dragging myself over to the low table the papers rested on. Each of the paths and sectors had been marked neatly in Cave Tongue, but the ink was fading after all these years, and I could hardly distinguish one planet from another. Hiding my doubt, I scooped up the silver figures in a wing and tried to find where I was starting from.

"Right, so - Libra..." I hovered over the segment on the board, tracing a line across to where Venus had landed in an opposite corner. I dropped a silver heart on the spot. Following that line, I ran over Saturn, Mercury and Uranus, leaving a shiny pebble, moon and star over the crossing lines. Nervously, I held the mobile over the map, trying to remember what it was needed for.

"I think..." I started cautiously, "that Saturn is in retrograde, the Sun is far too big in your segment, and... Pluto has... been crushed by a giant silver heart."

"Do it properly, Nocturne!" Fantasia whined, peering over my shoulder. "You've done it all wrong!"

"No, I haven't - see - that follows there, and jumps to there -"

"Pluto is over in your bit, not mine!" She nudged me over. "And it's Uranus that's in retrograde!"

"Uranus is in retrograde..." I muttered back, letting myself be pushed away from the table.

"Here, I'll do yours." Fantasia gathered up the silver for the third time and pulled the mobile from my grasp. She pinpointed the sign for Aries and moved quickly from there, laying out the objects with certainty and confidence. A twirl of the mobile later, and she was gesturing to the path she had made. "Don't you see, Sissy? We go along here, and you mark this, this, and this -" she stabbed each spot with a hoof, "- giving you a year's forecast." After taking a second to squint at the lines she laughed. "So you've ended up with Pluto moving into the system, Mars remaining constant over the Moon, and Neptune entering your path from Pisces."

"Sex, death and self-delusion? That's not fair!" I moved her over with a shove. "You must be reading it wrong!" I tried to take the mobile, but she wouldn't let go.

"You can't read your own!"

"I can if you've done it wrong!" I put a hoof down on the table, leaning over the charts. Fantasia grabbed my mane in her teeth, trying to pull me back. Struggling, I knocked a couple of the silver ornaments onto the floor. "Let go! You're pulling!"

"Ah will wh'n 'ou move!" She growled back, keeping her teeth firmly around my hair.

"Let me have a look first!"

"ENOUGH!"

We fell back from the table together, the mobile making its own course to the ground, shattering as it hit the wooden floor. Clearly it was only made of fancy glass, not silver. Above us, a small bat pony mare loomed, her pink eyes burning with a previously disguised fury. Dark grey wings blocked out any of the light from the night's sky, leaving us with only those glowing eyes. Fangs shone as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I hope you know what you've done," she pronounced every word carefully, as if trying to throttle the life out of each syllable, "because - stars above - you will be regretting it for a long time."

---

I liked the cold. It made you feel alive. It stopped other ponies from coming out to ruin the peaceful night. It reduced the swelling on freshly earned bruises.

Sadly, it hadn't started snowing again, so there weren't any cool flakes to land on my throbbing flank, but an icy breeze was making up for it. I glanced back as I flew. There was going to be a massive bruise over my cutie mark by the morning. Already, the silver eye was beginning to swell and bulge. Consoling myself, I considered the fact that Fantasia's would be more noticeable - her coat was a lighter shade of navy than mine. Nevertheless, she would still get to sleep in one of mother's nice feather beds. Once we moved to Canterlot, my mother decided that the best thing about Equestrian culture was sleeping on the floor, on mattresses. Ever since then she had always bought the best beds - no matter whether we were lacking more essential things, like a cooker or a working shower...

I cartwheeled in the air, letting the wind rush around me as I span. Pulling my wings around, I fell into a dive before looping back up. By now I was slaloming the tall, snow-capped towers that dominated Canterlot, dipping in and out, brushing stone with my wing-tips and ducking beneath low roofs. Soaring low, I passed above the walls around the Castle grounds, careful to avoid the guards.

Scanning the towers, I found what I was looking for.

Gently, I climbed in altitude, moving up beside the shaded stone and guiding myself around gaping windows. Eventually, I flew high enough to come to a stop beneath a balcony that circled the tower like a dog collar. Above me, I could hear the regular tap of hooves as a pony made their patrols. Timing my jump, I waited until the guard passed over head, moving to the other side of the wall.

With that I sprang, making enough noise to easily be heard by a bored guard.

"Halt! Who goes there?" They called out from the opposite side of the balcony. By the voice, I confirmed that this was the stallion I was looking for.

"I go there." I replied, moving around to see him. He was putting his spear down as I came into view, tucking it underneath a wing like a good regulation soldier.

"Oh? Long time no see, Turny. I was starting to think you'd been murdered by one of your clients." My old friend smiled lazily, exhibiting rows of sharp fangs. A pair of yellow eyes glittered below his silver helm.

"Could say the same for you too, Officer Orion." I hit his shoulder playfully, regretting it when my hoof came into contact with the fashioned metal armour. "You were the one off in the Crystal Empire playing soldiers."

"That was a month ago - just after I was promoted to lieutenant, remember?" He explained slowly, "It's you that hasn't come since - too busy puzzling over schemes with that mad boss of yours." He glanced at my attire; a hastily adorned scarf with no boots or bags. "Has he finally let you out? I thought you were working daytimes."

"Oh, no," I admitted, "I was thrown out of the family Hearth's Warming Eve celebrations - but I do have a week off."

"Finally," Orion humphed, ignoring my allusions to the family holiday. Orion never celebrated, like most bat ponies, and continued refusing to even when he moved to Canterlot. He came from a very traditional family, who shunned all Equestrian festivals - and, unlike me, he didn't argue with them. However, with nine other siblings, keeping the peace was of utmost importance. "So, are we going to get back to our old training again? Ghoul said he might join in if he gets some free time."

"I'm afraid not." I sighed. I hadn't seen Ghoul for ages - we'd done our Night Guard training together, along with Orion and a couple of others, but had hardly seen each other since I'd left. Last thing I'd heard was that he was getting married to a mare I'd never met. By now it was just Orion I was still in touch with, and I'd only left three years ago. Maybe it was about time to plan a reunion... "I may have - accidentally - agreed to a diplomatic meeting with the dragons."

"Oh...?" Orion raised an eyebrow. "I think I heard about that - you leave next evening, right?"

"Yeah, but I was only told that after I agreed."

"I bet they couldn't find anypony else stupid enough to go." Orion side-stepped me before I could hit him. Moving to the balcony's rail, he looked out over at the castle grounds. "You know what you're going to have to do?" He glanced back at me, smirking slightly.

"Of course - just make sure everypony's happy and stop any fights."

Orion laughed.

"What's so funny?"

He kept laughing, shaking his head in exasperation. "You've been in Canterlot for too long, Turny." He turned around again, reaching his free wing out to draw me over to the balcony. I was pulled under his leathery appendage and against his cold armour, looking out over the fountains, lawns, and heroic statues that decorated the Castle Gardens. Sneakily, I edged my flank against his plating, feeling the cool metal wash over the swelling. "How much do you know about bat pony and dragon relations?"

"They're thousands of years old - ever since the bat ponies have lived in caves they've made pacts with the dragons to protect them in exchange for the precious stones and food they'd find." I shrugged my wings. "I have met dragons before, Orion - I know what I'm doing."

"Really?" He looked down at me with a mocking grin. "Did you know then, that -" he leant down to whisper in my ear, tickling the multitude of hairs that lined it.

"What? No!" He held me still as he explained further. Finally, after every gory detail had been covered, he drew back. A smile so smug it would have made cats jealous met my eyes. "You're lying."

"I'm not."

"But that's not fair - dragons are bigger than me!"

"They match up the ages."

"It would still be bigger than me! And stronger!" I laid my chin on the low wall, getting snow on my nose.

"At least if you died the ponies would get to make all of their demands." He tried to reassure me. I glared back, informing him that it had not been reassuring. "... I have a book on it if it makes you feel any better?"

"Thanks."

Orion shifted his hold on me slightly, though left his wing to drape over my back like a blanket. Gazing out over the shadow coated night, he sighed happily. It was alright for him - he wasn't going to be eaten by a dragon in a day's time. Even if he was, it wouldn't worry him. Orion had a way of zoning out most problems, as if he saw the world at a slower pace than the rest of us.

I also looked out - turning my attention to the sky. The clouds had remained where the pegasi had left them, hovering at the edge of Canterlot to be moved into place for tomorrow morning. The little foals would be delighted to see a fresh sheet of snow falling just as they woke up, ready for presents and more singing and more festivities. I, on the other hoof, would be crawling into bed, hoping that I could do all of my packing when I woke up.

"Do you want to talk about something else?" Orion asked, breaking the silence, "It's not like I'm going to get back to duty right now."

"Why not?" I snorted. "So long as it has nothing to do with work, family, or horoscopes." He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Don't ask."

"Well then..." he poked stray wisps of navy hair back under his helmet, "what would you say if I told you that I have a mare-friend?"

"Really?" I pushed myself up to get a better look, trying to tell if he was playing with me or not. His cheeks held an unfamiliar red flush that I could only assume was genuine. It wasn't like him to embarrass easily. "It's not one of the recruits you're training, is it?"

"No. Why would you think that?" He shook his head in bewilderment. "She isn't part of the Royal Guard at all - she's some sort of academic. We met at the Winter Solstice Dance, I think she's one of the sisters of a lieutenant I know."

"You'd better be careful there then."

"It'll be fine - I think he was happy to be rid of her for a bit."

"Then you'll still have to be careful," I snorted, "it just means you have to worry about her and not the lieutenant." Laughing, Orion thumped my shoulder playfully. I could only laugh along, all the while hoping that she would be good enough for him. I'd known Orion for about eight years, and had had him coming to me seeking approval for every mare-friends during that time. Nevertheless, there was always that niggling thought - that slight flutter. Several of our friends were in relationships, settling down, and even having foals... so maybe it just scared me a little. What if she was the one? What if in a year's time it was her that he married?

Was I being left behind?

"What's her name?" I asked, masking my anxiety. They were only silly little nerves. "If I see her around town I'd like to know who she is."

"Secret - that's her name." He focused on a point in the distance, frowning slightly. "She looks... um... purple. I think that's it - purple bat pony, with a... white - no - blue mane?"

"You don't know what she looks like."

"I would recognise her if I saw her - I just can't remember the details." Orion shrugged nonchalantly. "They don't really matter, do they?"

"As long as she never asks you to buy jewellery to match her eyes." I shook my head, praying to the stars that I would never have to rely on Orion to describe a suspect. My astonishment was soon interrupted by a wide yawn, leaving me with streaming eyes and a heavy head. Taking advantage of the situation, I let my head rest on my friend's shoulder - it was warmer than the balcony, and I had less of a chance of freezing my cheek to it.

"Is it time for little pups to go to sleep?" Orion nudged me gently. I let out a sleepy moan; I'd had to wake up early this afternoon to be at my mother's house, and was going to have to be ready for the trip to the Badlands tomorrow. "How about we go get that book, and then you can wrap yourself up in bed and get your beauty sleep?"

"Okay..." I murmured, "wait. What about your watch?"

"Ah, I'm sure nopony'll be trying to break in tonight."

"If you say so."

Comments

[RadicalDishonesty]

Hm... well there isn't a lot to go on yet, save for the cynical protagonist, but I am interested.

I'm going to trust your tags and add a group or two.

[Myriad of Failure]

6385963
Thanks! I'm afraid it does take a little while to kick off - but the next chapter is a lot more interesting (at least in my opinion) with actual adventuring!