TMPDA: Last One In The Nest

by Myriad of Failure

Work, Rest and Work

"What do you think about the Cupcake Case?"

"Well, young Nocturne, if you are content to write 'accidental food poisoning', I will not stop you." Conundrum turned to face me judgementally. "However, if it is later revealed that the old mare was attempting to poison her friend with peanuts and pony feathers, it will be you alone writing the apology letter while I gloat."

"So I'll be safe there then..." I muttered, starting to type out a report to our client. Due to the amount of work we now received, we had been able to afford two clunky typewriters. It was also rather fortunate for our clients, because I was fairly certain that they couldn't read my hoof-writing. I couldn't read my hoof-writing.

"Did you find Miss Day's heirloom?"

"It's on my desk," I waved a hoof in the general direction of the silver pendant, "I hope you appreciate the number of charity shops I had to traipse through before I found it. What kind of pony gives away a priceless heirloom to a charity shop, anyway? The rest of us just send old sweaters and tatty books."

"The same kind that leave priceless heirlooms lying around on desks?" Conny levitated the necklace from beneath the papers on my desk and slipped it into a small box, wrapping it up in brown paper. "You can take this when you finish." The parcel deposited itself beside my fore-hoof, on top of a growing number of letters and other small packages.

"There aren't any other cases to finish, are there?" I asked hopefully. Ever since we had solved the high profile murder of Gently Articulate, we had been almost inundated with work. The last time we hadn't had an ongoing case was six months ago, so the push to finish all the work before the winter holidays was an enormous effort. Drained didn't describe the half of it.

"No, and I have put up signs to say that we shall be closed for the holiday." The pale green unicorn leant back from his desk beside me, resting his hooves behind his head. "A full week without any work..." He let out an indulgent sigh.

I wrapped up the letter, took it out of the typewriter and rolled it into the scroll. The only things standing between me and my holiday were the deliveries. After each case we delivered a written report and our fee - it was quickly discovered that we were more likely to be paid if you took the report in person. So that inevitably became my job, because I was the young sprightly mare, and Conundrum was the ageing and decrepit stallion - apparently. Conny was a middle-aged unicorn with some middle-aged spread, while I was twenty-six and accident-prone.

I was also a bat pony, which can scare some ponies when you appear on their doorstep. Actually, it scared most ponies - but at least that persuaded them to pay up quickly.

Gathering all of the brown paper envelopes and parcels, I dumped them into my saddle bags - a new pair of purple bags with a black eye on the clasps. Conny had a matching set with a magnifying glass instead of the eye. Not that his cutie mark was a magnifying glass - it was a crossword puzzle. However, that didn't seem to represent the detective-y theme we were trying hard to create.

Along with these, I grabbed my scarf, hat, and sunglasses - though I tucked the sunglasses into the bags now that it was dark enough to see. Winter was definitely the best time of year; it wasn't scorching hot, the Sun was out less than the Moon, and everypony was too cold to care that your eyes were slits and you had leathery wings on your back. Well, some of them were too cold...

"I'll be back with the money in about an hour," I called, leaving the room in my wintry getup.

The snow wasn't very deep yet, but it hadn't been swept off the streets here. Conundrum's house (in which our so-called 'office' was located) sat on a backstreet in a less affluent area of Canterlot. By my estimate, that still made it too expensive for me to afford a house there. Even with steady work, I habitually lacked funds; throwing away too much of it on spoiling my niece and paying an extortionate amount in rent money.

I took to the air, soaring above the snow coated Canterlot and watching the twinkling lights that had been hung in the streets below; it was Hearth's Warming Eve tomorrow, and the ponies were starting to get excited. They were also feeling more generous, so I could be looking forward to a sizeable tip for completing the commissions early.

It took a while to get around all of the houses, especially when I got lost on the way to a couple of them. Eventually, my bags were empty of letters, and full of tinkling bits. Not that I would get all of them; Conundrum paid me a set fee, and occasionally gave me a bonus for good work. He also had a set fee - so that made it fair. Any extra got spent on improving our office and advertising, not that we needed a higher profile - we had gotten that in the newspapers when I solved the Gently Articulate Case.

As I was coming back down over Conny's house it began to snow.

Opening the door and shaking the first few flakes out of my mane, I came into the hall. We had managed to hire a cleaner for the ground floor of the house, where we accepted new clients. The previous litter of papers and discarded apple cores were doing nothing for our professional image. Nevertheless, that didn't include whatever disaster lurked upstairs. I thanked the stars that I never had to go up there.

Bringing the full purse to Conny, I waited for him to dole out my wages. I couldn't resist peeking to see whether he added some extra - he did, but very few. What can I say? At least he was careful with the money.

It was then that we heard the knock at the door.

"If that's a new client, tell them we're shut for a week!" Conundrum called after me as I went to answer it. "Unless it's something big - you do not turn those down!"

"Sure..." I replied, although it came out sounding like a non-committal grunt. I was of the mindset that even if it was something 'big', I would still turn it away and lie to Conny. It had been too long since I had slept in untill midnight and then pestered Orion while he was on sentry duty.

Through the frosted glass I could make out the silhouette of a unicorn.

"Sorry, sir," I explained as I opened the door, feeling a rush of cold wind around my hooves, "we're not taking any more commissions until next week."

"I am not here to commission your private detective agency." He droned in a bored monotone. "You are Miss Nocturne, are you not?"

"Yes, that's me..."

"You have been summoned to attend the Night Court this evening for urgent discussions concerning diplomatic negotiations," the unicorn told me in the least urgent manner possible, "you will be expected to arrive promptly at seven o'clock."

"Do I get to know what sort of negotiations these are?"

"No."

"Will I be speaking with Princess Luna?" My voice rose slightly. To speak with the Goddess of the Stars and the Moon was an enviable privilege. The last time it had happened I managed to only grovel a little bit.

"That is highly unlikely."

"Oh..." I sighed and pretended to look interested, "sure, I'll be there at whatever time it was you said."

"Seven o'clock."

"Yeah, then." I shrugged and shut the door on his face. It wasn't like he was going to tell me anything else. Now, don't get me wrong; I did want to know why I was wanted at the Night Court. Despite my inquisitive nature, however, all I could expect from them was either more detective work or a plea for me to rejoin the Night Guard - which also constituted more work. Little to say, I wasn't thrilled by my prospects.

"What did he want?" Conundrum shouted from the office. He needn't have shouted - the front door was only about two meters from the door to the office.

"I have a meeting at the Castle tonight." I trudged back into the small room, finding a purse hovering in front of my face in sparkling unicorn magic. I took it in my mouth.

"You're not being arrested again, are you Nocturne?" Conundrum asked with a disappointed sigh.

"Huh - nugh!" I spat out the money bag. "Of course not!" I glared at my boss. "Anyway, I've only been arrested once - you make it sound like it happens every week!" Actually, I'd been arrested a few more times than that - but they were all in foreign lands while I was in the Night Guard. I liked to think that there was a difference.

"You seem to be forgetting those other two times - during the Jam Doughnut Case and the Merry Weather Case."

"I'm not being arrested, okay?" At least I hoped not. I huffed, gathering up my bits and pieces again. "And they were accidents."

Conundrum shrugged and turned to face me. "Well, I suppose I'll see you in a week then, young Nocturne. Have a good holiday."

"Thanks, sir," I returned a small smile filled with fangs, "happy holidays to you too."

---

I set a course towards my apartment, sailing through the air. The snow was still falling lightly, and there was no breeze to speak of, so I was able to enjoy the flight.

Well, I enjoyed it until the snowflakes got in my eyes and my wings started to lose feeling. Then I wanted to curl up in some blankets with a large mug of steaming cocoa. I wondered if I still had some marshmallows - those things were like eating fluffy little clouds. Clouds coated in chocolate...

Not paying attention to where I was flying, I promptly crashed into the side of a tower.

Stars flew around my head as I dropped through the air. Half-heartedly, I flapped my wings, trying to fight gravity. Realising that my plan wasn't going to work, I let myself go limp and hit the ground.

It had been a long week.

Thankfully, I came to a graceless halt in a snow drift. A very comfortable snow drift that I could relax quite happily in.

"Are you alright there?" A voice interrupted my chill-out (pun intended).

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine..." I drawled, closing my eyes and settling into my snow nest. The spinning stars followed me into the darkness.

"You just crashed into the Castle!" I felt a couple of hooves grab me under my forelegs and pull me out of the white powder. I opened an eye experimentally as I was set on the ground. A Royal Guard stood in front of me, his face creased with concern. That concern quickly changed to surprise and then fear.

"They should make it more obvious - it's a hazard!" I blinked and looked up, seeing the tower reaching up into the sky. The only way you could have possibly make it more obvious would have been to paint it luminous orange.

"A-are you lost, miss?" The pegasus guard hesitated. If he had done his training properly, he should have been going through the standard first-aid checks. Clearly, he hadn't paid enough attention.

"No, I am not lost." I pronounced clearly, making sure that he caught every word. I rubbed a hoof over my eyes in an attempt to clear them - it came away with blood on. "I was briefly distracted."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I held a hoof over my snout. "Do you have a tissue or something?"

"Do you... need one?" The guard took a nervous step back. "I thought you would - you know..." he leaned down and hissed, "drink it." He needn't have made it sound like such a secret - nopony else was around in the frozen twilight.

"That's disgusting," I told him bluntly. Drink my own nosebleed? Eugh... I hadn't drank any blood since I'd left the Night Guard, and even then it was never my own. Bat ponies hold a taboo against drinking pony blood, for good reasons. "Do you have a tissue or not?" I shook my head in frustration as he stared back blankly. "Never mind, I'm sure I'll have something..." Reaching into my saddlebags I found nothing, and resorted to using my scarf. It was just a plain black scarf, so I didn't mind too much.

"Ah oo jus' gonna stan' dur?" I murmured after some time, still holding the fabric to my face.

"Oh, sorry, are you talking to me?" This seemed to rouse the guard, who had been standing there awkwardly for nearly ten minutes.

"Nah - em tawkin' tu de gernt pernk ahlicern." His expression remained blank. I gave up and removed my bloodstained scarf experimentally. "Yes, I'm talking to you!"

"Okay..." the pegasus ruffled his wings and glanced back sheepishly, "what did you say again?"

"It doesn't matter now..." I tried to breathe deeply and not punch the soldier. "Look, you might as well be useful. Do you know what time it is?"

"Nearly seven o'clock - I'm off-duty then, you see." He raised an eyebrow. "Is that important? You look a bit worried..."

I was a bit worried. Not about being slightly late (though for the Night Court I was at least trying to be on time), but because there was no time to fly home and back. My plans had never involved arriving dressed up and preened, but they certainly hadn't involved trotting in with blood on my face while wearing my work bags.

"Can you show me where I can get into the Castle?" I reluctantly asked. Today was not the day for my usual trick of flying in through a window.

"Why do you need to be in the Castle?" The stallion was finally showing a small amount of threatening hostility. Only a little bit, mind - nevertheless, he was slightly less pathetic now.

"I have a meeting with the Night Court," I declared, "of a most urgent nature." He just raised the other eyebrow and remained at his post. "I'll find it myself then..." Getting up, I trudged off to find the gates. After walking around the towers a bit, I realised that I was already inside the gates, having landed there after my crash.

With all of the other guards leaving to change posts with the Night Guard, the grounds were almost deserted. So like any good, neglected guest, I let myself in.

Through the front doors, obviously; sneaking in through a window would probably get me arrested. Not that there was anypony around to arrest me. Somepony in the Royal Guard should have been alerted to this security problem - any random maniac could get in! Unfortunately, I was too busy to file a complaint. I also didn't care. The princesses were powerful enough; I didn't understand why they had even bothered to create the Royal Guard in the first place.

I had been inside the Castle a few times - to swear my oath to the princesses, to do sentry duty, to scrub out the dungeons with a toothbrush after another 'incident'... However, today was the first time I felt like an intruder. Most of the staff were on holiday, the noble ponies had disappeared to their villas, and the bustle of court was yet to begin. The entire place felt incredibly empty.

Grinning with forbidden glee, I flew up through the expansive white hall, slaloming the pillars and columns. Taking advantage of the acoustics, I let out shrill notes so that they reverberated up to the vaulted ceiling and spread throughout the entrance. Almost as soon as I was enjoying myself, I began nearing the end of the hall. Two unicorn guards stood ahead of me on either side of a large wooden door.

Carefully, I landed on the purple carpet that ran the length of the entrance and trotted up to them. They didn't look impressed.

As often happened, these stallions were dressed in the garb of the Night Guard while not being bat ponies. I'd been told that a thousand years ago, before Princess Luna's banishment, the Night Guard had been comprised entirely of bat ponies. Due to her banishment, however, they retired back to their colonies. It was only eight years after her return, and the Guard was still slightly short of bat ponies - so those ponies who had served under Princess Celestia had needed to stay and fill in roles around the Castle at night. Not that that stopped them from looking ridiculous in the dark blue armour.

These stallions didn't seem too pleased to be up tonight, and they certainly weren't pleased to see me. The white one raised a hoof as I approached, frowning aggressively.

"State your name and business."

"Nocturne - I'm here on urgent business to attend the Night Court."

"What is the nature of the business?"

"Um - I wasn't told..." I rubbed the back of my mane and hoped there wasn't any blood on my face. "Maybe it's a secret?"

"If it was a secret, you would not have been -"

"It's alright, Cold Snap," the second guard butted in, "she's on the list." I never found out what the 'list' was, because I was quickly ushered through the doors and into a waiting room.

The room was relatively small compared to the rest of the Castle. It's ceiling was the height of any normal room you might find in your house, and the walls were lined with plush purple cushions. Unlike much of the Castle, the walls were painted navy rather than white, and the curtains were drawn back from the arched windows, showing off the dark, snow-covered gardens. A crackling fire lit the room, keeping the ponies from shivering at the sight of the snowstorm outside.

There were already a few others in the waiting room. Fire-lit faces all turned to me as I trotted in - either they were very close knit and didn't like intruders, or they were extremely bored and needed a distraction. I guessed that I would find out soon enough.

It didn't take long to discover that they were desperately bored. Several kept yawning, nopony was being called into the Night Court, and a couple had started a game of I-Spy. Feeling rather annoyed having been told that this meeting was urgent, and had rushed over here to oblige them, I looked for a distraction; studying my fellow companions. The two ponies playing I-Spy had star constellations for cutie marks and the kind of squint you only get from staring down telescopes for a living, so I guessed that they were astronomers. A few ageing unicorns also sat together, papers stuffed in their saddlebags and ink stains on their hooves - the scribes.

Everypony else was sat alone, glancing nervously at the clock and fidgeting. I couldn't decide why they would want to petition to the Night Court, unless they had missed the Day Court and needed somepony to moan at. Nevertheless, one mare caught my eye. No, not because I found her attractive or anything - she was another bat pony. She had also been studying me, her eyes watching me earnestly. Like my mother's and sister's eyes, her pupils were a shocking shade of pink, as well as her fur. Along with a silver and white mane, she was possibly the brightest bat pony I had ever seen (second only to my niece).

Realising that I had seen her looking, the mare got up and sat beside me. A large, friendly smile spread across her lips.

"You're a bat pony!" She exclaimed, her voice a little louder than it needed to be.

"And so are you," I returned the smile, but with less force. "Seeing as this is the Night Court, you'd expect to see a few more of us."

She laughed, her eyes sparkling brightly, "Hardly - I attend rather often, and rarely see another bat pony." She had a thick Canterlot accent and pronounced everything with great articulation. Despite this, even as she spoke, you could hardly see her small fangs.

"I guess most of us should be working right now."

"Oh - I am working." She laughed again. It was starting to become annoying. "I am a researcher and documenter of bat pony society and history. Meeting you here is a real stroke of luck - I seem to be having a lot of those lately!"

"Documenter and researcher? That must be a straight forward sort of job." I didn't bother to ask about her other strokes of luck. I didn't think that I wanted to know what might have happened to them. Instead, I raised an eyebrow. "Can't you just visit the colonies and write about it?"

"No, it's not that easy." She corrected me like a stern school teacher. "Every colony I investigate almost never records its history, and, if they do, it's in one of several dialects of the Cave Tongue - it makes my work very difficult."

"Don't you speak the Cave Tongue?" I frowned - even when my family moved to Canterlot, my mother had very insistently refused to let us forget the language. Unless... I glanced up - small fangs, bright colours, and eyes that were going dull from the exposure to sunlight - not to mention the strong accent. "You've never lived in a colony?"

"No." She replied tersely, pursing her lips. It was more of a passing anger than being directly aimed at me. "My family has lived in Canterlot for three or four generations. I started as a researcher and documenter of bat pony society and history because I believed that the ponies of Equestria should be enlightened to the lives of their bat pony cousins." I smirked slightly at the job title, but put on an agreeable face when she looked at me.

"A very noble cause."

"Yes, it is." She continued, not detecting my sarcasm. "Which is why it is such a pleasure to meet you - I would love it if you could answer some questions for me."

"Oookaaay..." I reluctantly agreed. It wasn't like I had anything else to do. So much for my urgent meeting...

"When did you arrive in Canterlot?" A notepad and pencil appeared in her wing-tips.

"Oh, a while back - must be just over sixteen years ago now."

"Which colony did you come from?"

"The one in Canterlot Mountain, they call it the Lonely Colony."

"Who did -"

"Miss Nocturne, the Night Court request your presence now." A stallion announced to the room. I grinned at my escape and stood up. A collective groan rose from the other assembled ponies. It was never fair when the last pony in gets summoned first - unless you were that pony.

"We'll have to continue our little chat later," I excused myself politely, lying seamlessly. There was something about that mare that was a bit too eager, and too deeply naive. Her job also seemed a little pointless, especially when she couldn't speak the Cave Tongue. Surely, if you were a researcher, you'd try to learn it? Stupid mare...

The stallion ushered me into the Night Court headquarters. It was similar to the throne room, although much shorter and carrying the same décor as the waiting room. I padded down the purple carpet, glancing at the stained glass windows. Unusually, they depicted scenes of... well - the villains wining. The reign of Discord, the Crystal Empire under King Sombra's rule, and even the rise of Nightmare Moon. There were even a few events that I couldn't identify; one had the beasts of Tartarus surrounded by a lot of fire, and another contained the changelings swarming Canterlot.

Ponies were waiting for me at the end of the room. The raised throne behind them was currently unoccupied, and all of the councillors had to sit on the floor before it. There weren't many ponies - a mare sat defiantly in the middle, four guards - two either side of the throne, two by the walls - and some more scribes. It was the mare who addressed me.

"Good evening." She said in a low, feminine voice. She observed the scroll hanging in her dark blue aura. "Miss Nocturne, we have important business to discuss with you."

"Okay." I replied slowly. The whole atmosphere made me feel like I had stumbled into a meeting of the occult; complete with flickering candles, a now raging storm, and a mysterious indigo mare whose eyes seemed to absorb light.

"I am the Personal Advisor to Princess Luna, Midnight Rain." She looked up at me under heavy-lidded eyes. "I will be presiding over this Night Court in the absence of the Princess." She glanced back at her floating papers. "I am to inform you of the role the princesses have requested that you play."

"Is this a commission for detective work?" I asked quickly, wishing that she would hurry up and tell me. "Because I'm afraid we aren't taking on any more work over the holiday. Any time after that would be fine, but -"

Midnight Rain held up a hoof to silence me, as if she commanded the same power as the Princess. I shut up, but crinkled my snout and raised my eye brows in reply. I didn't take well to false authority.

"If you would allow me to finish -" a quick glance to the sheet, "- Miss Nocturne, I will explain it to you." She waited before continuing, knowing that she carried the power through this conversation. I was getting ready to decline whatever she suggested. Call me fussy, but I didn't want to be bossed around by a mare who couldn't even remember my name. It wasn't even a very long name - we bat ponies only ever have the one. "Princess Luna has specifically requested that you be chosen for this job," her voice slipped from the official monotone as she added, "however, I cannot see why such an impulsive mare should be given the honour."

"And I can't see why the Goddess of the Moon chose you as her personal advisor." I didn't regret my outburst - her brows knitted together and her lips curled into a restrained snarl - like she'd mistaken a lemon for her teatime treat. The guard closest to me did take a threatening step forwards, so I caught his eye and winked in an attempt to unsettle him. It worked.

"The request," Midnight Rain coughed to draw my attention, "is that you attend the Badland Summit - the first of its kind between ponies and dragons."

Excitement bubbled in the pit of my stomach. I did my best to retain a neutral expression and gave Midnight an even look. "Why would I be needed at a summit between ponies and dragons? Surely you have enough nobles and princesses to oversee negotiations...?"

"It has been agreed that an independent source is required. You will act as neutral ground between our representatives and the dragons." The unicorn gave me another dirty look while trying to remain dignified. "As bat ponies have historical links with the dragons, and you have Equestrian citizenship, it was believed that you will be sufficient." She brushed a wisp of lilac hair from her eyes. "Personally, I would prefer to send one of the members of Princess Luna's Royal Guard..."

"But that would be biased," I corrected her, neglecting to mention my own five years of service, "a guard would obviously favour the land of their princesses." The personal advisor sniffed snootily. I had a feeling somepony had already told her that. Possibly the Princess herself.

I tapped a hoof on my chin, as if contemplating the deal. Meeting the dragons, travelling to the Badlands, and being away from the detective work for a while... it sounded like a brilliant plan. I wasn't going to turn it down - no matter how much I wanted to refuse this mare. At least she didn't want me to go, so I could still disappoint her there...

In addition to this, it was Princess Luna that had personally asked for me! There was no doubt that I had left a good impression after the last time I saw her. Not as a Royal Guard - this was when I had seen the Ruler of the Night while solving the Gently Articulate Case. The Princess was possibly the reason for why I had even managed to solve it at all.

Deciding that I had considered my options for the longest, most unreasonable amount of time, I smiled. "Sure, I'll come along."

"Good..." Midnight Rain sighed, checking her list again. "The Treasury will pay the travel fees, so all you have to do is arrive at Canterlot Station at seven o'clock in the evening, on Hearth's Warming Day. Will you be able to manage that?" She couldn't resist the snide comment at the end.

"No problem," I waved a hoof, but did a double take, "wait - Hearth's Warming Day? That's only two nights from now!"

"How very observant of you," the mare curled her lip at the taste of sarcasm, "you were informed as to the urgency of this meeting, were you not? You have given your word now - I do hope you will not need to break your promise..."

"Of course I can make it - bat ponies don't really celebrate anyway."

Well - that interrupted my long awaited holiday...

Author's Note:

I wrote this in the middle of the summer - I was very confused. (Not even this summer, this has been sitting around for over a year...)

So, I've finally published the sequel to the Misdemeanour Private Detective Agency! Because I decided to write all of the chapters first, and had a bit of trouble with proofreaders, it's taken me over a year to sort this out. So enjoy!

(New chapters will be coming every Wednesday and Saturday, unless I forget)