I likes the chapter. The meeting with Lyra, the fight with RD, the dream with Luna, and the morning with Trixie were hillarious. I really hope Luna appears again.

I'm guessing Fluttershy will show up as a Druid at some point in the next chapter. It would be really cool if all of them come together at the end for a big battle scene.

4819031 Why? Because it's a second person story?

4817406 I don't really mind it. I just think it's a different approach than most stories.

This may just be my favorite Lyra of all time,
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg

4819990 No... the OC tag would be a good idea because the nameless warrior is an original character, who is also a focus of the story.

4822767 I wouldn't really call him an OC because he's meant to be you. Most second person perspective stories I've seen do not label him as an OC.

4822944 So... a new character introduced into the story, who is not one of the characters from the series, is not an OC?

If it's meant to be me, I'm particularly insulted. I am a VERY original character.

4823444 Hm. Quite.

4828028 Well, the last chapter was around a thousand words longer than intended and this is around 2/7 of the story, being on the lighter side.
Don't worry though, I do have plans for each day so that they won't become just events of the day like it's shaping up to be.

Why cant I Like Trixie too! she seems so sad! and at least she in honest about liking me!!

She gave him/me a false dream in order to get a little bit of interest goin'.
So there wasn't really any luna in there and mister Jablowmi was the killer all along!
Jeankees!

4867297 Haha.

Well, the story shows promise, however (and not that you asked) but personally, I'd like some character development on 'Warrior's' (that's his name as far as I'm concerned) personality. (Aside from him being a sarcastic 'when all you have is a sword' fighter.)

Why is this on hiatus?

5431806
Because it is surprisingly hard to write for considering the scope of the story. My usual works run between 4,000 to 9,000 words and this is looking to clock in at around 70k. I leave it up so I can remind myself to work on it at some time, but between writing these stories, school work, writing my actual novel I simply don't have the focus that a story like this would really require.

Still, it's only on hiatus, not cancelled.

>tfw Luna tries to secude you and fails
Hue!

>Luna looks away as you sit down on the bed beside her. It becomes apparent that you were wearing a very loose fitting robe. “Do you know how hard it is to get laid as a god? All of the guards think they’ll die or something if they so much as touch me," she says slightly agitated.
It's both hilarious and true that I'm jealous about you writitng talent!

>You glance around the shimmering chamber as you remember being told the princesses were gods made flesh. And gods made flesh were not bound by common desires of sleep, food, or lust. Guess you could chalk that up to a mistranslation. Somehow.
Your story telling and plot making is a miracle in my eyes.

>She rolls onto her side, exposing her shapely rear towards you, making you have second thoughts about the safe side. “Dreams suck. Can’t believe I got shackled with this job," she complained. She goes quiet as you stare at her ass before becoming aware of her disappointed eyes looking back at you. “Oh, so sex is a no-go but ogling is a-ok?”
Hello, boner. Long time no see.

>“I can get checked out anytime, but what I want is more than just wandering eyes. What’s the point of eternal youth without sex?" she whines. It was odd, but you felt a small amount of pity towards the immortal goddess.

>She looks you up and down before placing her head back on the pillow. “Knock yourself out, I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. You better not be one of those ‘I won’t touch a woman’ types.”
Your Luna is the best Luna.
Oh, I love when writer gives the thoughts and ideas like that! That shows you are really a thinking person! Yay!

>“You’ll see when you wake up in a couple seconds.”
Hahaha! I know what it is! Muh sides!

>It takes a few moments and your hands listfully squeezing one of her bare breasts for the knowledge to hit you.
Yesss... Yes. YES!

>Oh right, she was the one who was paying you and she might not be so nice if she thought you were sleeping with her destitute friend.
Or, be happy because Trixie is bitching no more. Hue. Hue, hue.

>Neither of you say anything for a long period of time, confused and angry looks on both of your faces. Trixie glances up and down your body before pulling some of the covers off of herself. It is only a side view, but the sight of her bare curves threatened to get you excited, which would not look too good.
I can't fap when family is nearby. HNNGG.

>“I didn’t ask you to sneak in here naked!" you growl, straining to keep your voice down. This was getting ridiculous, but at least her eyes are downward. While staying vigilant to see if she lifts her head again, you start to put on your pants.
Kek!

>About halfway through Trixie starts to talk and lift her head again. “Trixie likes sleeping nude, it’s far more--" she stops before staring at your groin‏. Her hazy dream like expression becomes a wicked grin. “--Comfortable." she finishes looking between you and your crotch.
Family is gone, time to rub my genie out. Abracadabra. Fap, fap, fap.

>You feel your eye twitch for a moment before finishing tying your pants knot. After that, you grab Trixie’s legs through the bedroll and start to drag her outside as she thrashes about. “Unhand Trixie!" she demands, keeping herself covered while also trying to kick at you.
I can't believe how good and kekful this story is!

>“That’s a lie. Trixie told you she felt more comfortable nude, just like you," she said, pulling herself deeper into the bedroll. You shoot her a glare, which she returns with a grin.
I love their funny bond they have.

>“Yes, we were. And this one even started to mumble and grope me," she cut you off as she inched to her own tent.
FUCKING KEK!

>“Oh, I know she probably did it. You don’t seem confident enough to move that fast.” Twilight replies with a small laugh. Was that an insult or a compliment?
Both! Kek after kek, I can't handle this kekistan.

>Looking back up, you spy Trixie in her usual dress, cape and hat. Having seen her naked skewed your view of her towards being more lewd than it was before though. Dammit, you refused to believe you found her sexy. Shaking off the thoughts about a naked Trixie, you get on your horse.
Shut up faggot, get her on horse. Look at my horse...

>You could tell that the thing coming towards you was a bouncing person. Or, at least something that looked human. What kind of person bounces across a huge field like this without signs of fatigue? Over Trixie’s sighing you could make out a gentle strumming as the person drew nearer.
Only the best one... I hope it's...

>“My name is--" you try to answer before getting cut off by Twilight.
WHO CARES!

>“So you’re a bard?" you ask, having an interest in travelling bards. Being on the road and helping adventurers, you’ve often met a few of them and they are always kind. Their behavior is far from normal, sure, but they were always a joy to listen too.
RPG is strong in you. Love it!

>Pinkie smiles and clears her throat before starting a cheery tune.“Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow!" she begins to sing. There are some fairly nonsensical lyrics after this, with you only being able to pick out something about the sun and water. You get the impression this song was meant for a specific person to sing, not her. “Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?” Pinkie finishes before strumming violently on her ukelele. After finishing, she begins to breathe heavily as well as wipe some sweat from her brow.
FUUUCK.
Also:
>You get the impression this song was meant for a specific person to sing, not her.
It kills me! So fucking good!

>“Don’t be fooled by appearances," she’s says in an oddly prophetic tone.
I want it to be the truth, but this event was taken a bit from cosmos. I like it, but it was really cheesy, you know?

>Bards are known for being random by nature, but also being fairly wise from their travels.
RPG. I love you, man!

>Or at least, that’s what you’d been told by other warriors. Twilight was happy to give you the entire history of how that was wrong.
It's canon-like I get the knowledge boner.

>no one's here cliche
Good job!

>“Well, look at her. She’s wearing light leather, you'd cut clean through her armor with it,” Twilight says in a low voice. You made a mental note to blame her if you die in this fight.
That Twilight, also: I love your characters comments

>noble cause
Hue.

>“It is noble! I’ll pay him to watch me, and he’ll carry me in his big arms with large hands, caressing my wounded body..." she drifts off. You notice that the girl has actually started to drool at her own fantasy. This sure is one hell of a highway robbery.
>I spitted my tea. Good job!

>“You didn’t really need to hit her if you dodged her attack,” Twilight adds.
SHUT UP YOU SCHOOLAR!

>“Oh wow, this is real good stuff! And with such a large hand too..." she says, staring in awe at your palm.
FingerBang is strong in you.

>“...Can you rub my cheek?" she asks innocently.
This little lewd thing... Jump into my arms! No! Without the daggers! FUCK!

>“Or a pat on the head or something! Just let me feel those hands one more time!" she says, a wild look coming over her.
Hot!

>Moving your horse up next to her, you look from side to side to try and spot any invisible spies of the event. Leaning over, you lightly caress the bandit’s cheek. The light touch makes her bite her lower lip and one of her legs start to twitch. After a few seconds you quickly remove your hands and place them on the reins. “Satisfied?”
H-hot. This twitching leg... Aww!

>You silently wish that she had been a real robber, at least then she’d have just taken your money.
Fucking kek!

>The number of times you met people with estranged ties to one or more members of the group was far too high.
I'm happy he sees it!

>“No thanks, just looking for--" she says as she turns around. As she does, she removes a small leather helm to reveal a short cut of rainbow hair. God dammit, why does it have to be her? An angry glare comes over both of your faces as you remember each other.
Spitted my tea again.

>“Pervert!" she shouts, pointing her sword at you.
>“Thief!" you say, hopping off your horse and grabbing your sword.
>“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asks.
>“Rainbow Dash?”
>“Twilight?” the thief asks.
>“Lame-bow Dash?” Trixie asks with a laugh.
>“Trixie?!” the thief asks again, pointing her sword at Trixie now.
>“Warrior?” Trixie calls to you.
>“Warrior?” Rainbow asks.
>“Everybody shut up!" you shout, ending the loop of name dropping.
WTF/10
What a cliche-man you are! So stupid and so humorous!

>“About a few months ago now, I was in a small town looking for some relaxation. I got a room at an inn and stayed for a few days,” She moves over to a tree and leans against it.
>“Afterwards, I left and was about to leave town when I noticed that I’d left my shield. I had already checked out, so I had to sneak in,” Reflexively, you grip the handle of your sword harder, trying not to interrupt her. “But when I did sneak in, that’s when I found this pervert in my old room," she says, pointing her sword at you.
Missing space line between those two lines. Also: It's so good!

>“Yeah. Like he could even kill me with a sword like that,” Rainbow says with a condescending laugh. The hell did she just say?
I don't like that, Warior is supposed to not be stupid in Rainbow Dash way. I thought he is more mature.

>“Aside from the fact I could walk away in the time it took you to swing that thing? It’s an overcompensation cry if I've ever seen one,” Dash says mockingly. She starts to grin as you grit your teeth before placing her short sword between her legs. “Look at me with my big sword! I’m so tough and cool!" she says in a poor mimic of your own voice.
I love her. I love your story. I love your style.

>“Was it really necessary to swing at her like that? You could’ve killed her!” Twilight scolds you before turning to Dash. She was lying on the ground as well, but from the groans of pain it was clear she was alive. How did she survive a blow like that? “I shielded you at the last second the best I could, anything less and you might’ve been seriously hurt or killed!” Twilight continues. Well, that explains that.
Twilight for the rescue. Hue. Very nice.

>“Our fiery prism head here only survived your attack because she had no breasts for the sword to catch on and split the shield.” Trixie tells you.
Dude, I spitted to my 3rd tea. I dunno why you made me that, but I think you planned that!

>“We most certainly can, here, I’ll show you how.”
>“Trixie will help. Don’t worry Sparkle, it’s easy once you start,” Trixie says, mounting her own horse and following you. If Trixie's on your side, is that a good or a bad thing?
They should marry. I love their shipping.

>Twilight moves in front of your horse and holds her hands up in front of her. “I’m the one leading this journey! You just attacked one of my close friends and nearly killed her!” Twilight shouts. She grabs Dash’s hand and leads her over to her horse where she lets her get on before mounting it herself. “So if you think you’re getting paid for this then you are mistaken!" she says, a fire in her eyes and voice.
NO PAYING?! NO GOLD?! WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

>“I don’t care who started it, it’s done! Both of you, apologize now!" she shouts with a shrill voice. Everyone winces at the high pitch of her voice.
It's funny, but Warior should be a... Warior. Not a pussy. It's sorry to see that.

>“Apology accepted,” Dash says. Twilight reaches back and tugs at the blanket covering up Dash’s broken armor. “W-wait! I’m sorry, alright? Don’t pull it off!” Dash shouts quickly.
I can fap to that.

>“If you so much as glance at me while I wear this thing, I’ll cut your head off,” Dash remarked as you prop up a tent pole.
I already said it multiple times, Rainbow Dash, sucking doesn't include using dentition.

>“Gah! Y-yes, very clear!” Dash whines. Twilight snaps her head over to you and Trixie sitting frozen by the stones.
>“Friends. Got it," you reply.
>“Crystal clear,” Trixie acknowledges.
It's canon-like that Twiligh force the friendship idea with magic and harassment all over Equestria.

>There was an awkward silence before Trixie began speaking again. “Do you not like Trixie?” Trixie asked innocently. Great, first Thieves and bandits, now this. Wonderful day.
KEK! This is my canon!

>Trixie holds up a hand to dismiss you before she continues. “Trixie is not stupid, she’s very smart you know. But the curious thing is for some reason she doesn’t want you to dislike her,” Trixie finishes. Is this her form of a love confession? “Trixie is not the type to fall for idiots of course, so you have beaten the odds and earned her mild interest. Congratulations.”
Pls. Pls! Make it happens! make it works well! Pls!

>“Wait, are you trying to confess to me or not?"
Warrior. Low int. Pff!

>“Was this not obvious when Trixie snuck into your bedroll naked? She knew you might be thick, but come on,” Trixie said with a roll of her eyes.
I love it!

>“Trixie used it to show two things. First, that she could be sexy and spontaneous," she says, holding up her thumb. Spontaneous maybe, but sexy is more debatable. “And secondly to show you that she could sneak into your tent and get close to you without you waking up." she finishes. Your eyes go wide for a moment before you look over to Trixie as she holds a large smile. “Just kidding. She doesn’t need another reason, unless getting to entice your clearly depraved mind and fill it with images of her counts.”
I'm gonna to fap after that.

>You start to reply before Trixie holds up a hand to stop you. “Let Trixie explain,” Trixie tells you, standing up. She moves towards Dash and stands up straight next to her before cupping her own breasts. Taking her hands away, she keeps them frozen in the shape of her bust before using them to pick up sticks from Dash’s pile. It'ss roughly half of Dash’s pile. Dash begins shouting again and made various boasts about things she’s fought or lifted. Both you and Trixie remained silent as Twilight set up the fire, sharing small grins.
FUUUCK! It's trully the master- no! The god-tier story, Story!

>Would she sneak in again? Not that it mattered all that much, what could some arrogant mage with an overactive imagination do to you in your sleep anyway?
Oh, you son of a bitch! You left those readers for so long after THAT?! You have no heart my friend. Though, I'm so happy you continue I could blowjob you. No homo.