Life of Sin

by Thyrai

V.

There’s something wrong with Twilight. I know ponies change over time, and our lives aren’t at all what they used to be, but I know Twilight. There’s something more to it. For one, she always looks sad in her eyes as she rushes from her appointments to the train station for short day-trips to surrounding cities, and then back again in time for more appointments. For another, she’s always exhausted and anxious like some huge responsibility is constantly weighing on her shoulders. Also, for as long as I’ve know her, she’s always had a streak of snarkiness and sarcasm, which I’ve always thought was kinda cute and funny, but these days it’s become cynical and almost mean more than anything else. It’s especially prevalent when things aren’t absolutely perfect or when she’s stressed, which is all the time.

I’ve seen all of this mostly firsthoof, since I’ve been feeling really nerdy lately and I spend absolutely crazy amounts of time in the library when I’m not working or hanging with my awesome sister. Sometimes I’ll be there for an hour or two a day! Past me would be ashamed, but present me is even more ashamed that past me would have been ashamed that I’d discovered this new part of me. I’m still not smart at all compared to like any of my friends, but I’m working on it. Applejack said that’s all that counts, but she still teases me. I tease her back to show her how much I appreciate her. I think she understands.

But while I’ve been becoming a massive nerd, I’ve seen lot of Twilight. What I find most disturbing is that I don’t see her reading books anymore. She does read a lot, sure, but not books. Most of what she reads are scrolls filled with bills, proposals, politics, and other tedious crap. She’ll deal with one of them with a signature or something, and then move onto the next. She looks like she’s about to pull her hair out and start bawling more and more with each consecutive one she opens up. I’ve tried to say something nice or ask if she wanted to go out and get some food or something to take a break, but she snapped at me both times. She said Equestria doesn’t run itself, and that some ponies actually need to get some work done. She apologized afterwards.

She still helps me find books to read about different things, but my favourites are still astronomy and easy science. It’s almost like I can physically feel the longing she has when she looks at them. Today she recommended a book about really interesting ponies in history. I got a good look at her eyes, and they had a red tint to them. I think she cries at night.

I’m going to fix her. I don’t know how, but I’m going to. I can’t stand seeing my best friend like this. I want her sweet wintery voice to come back to what it was when her biggest concern in life was how her favorite author delayed their book signing by an extra month. I want to be confused and bored when she tells me all of the technical details of some ridiculous new apparatus she’s made for taking measurements of the Pinkie Sense.

I’ve talked with Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, and Spike about her. They’ve all noticed Twilight’s been getting more un-Twilight every day as well. We think we know why.

Comments

[Wurd]

The feels... They hurt...