Brayside Crush

by Outlaw Quadrant

12 - Dance Around the Problem

“Testing! Testing! Y’all can hear me, right?” Hipster tapped her microphone as the newly formed band hauled their equipment into Windy Chimes’ backyard. “One day turnaround, pones! That’s all we’ve got so once we’re all hooked up, we’re jamming!”

Octavia walked past her, dragging a black case enveloped in her aura inches above the dirt.

“Yo! What’s with the frown there, girl?”

“If our conductor was here, she would’ve fired me on the spot,” bemoaned Octavia, dropping the case down and taking a seat on top of it. “Always be ready, Octavia, she always tells me. Make the notes sound right every single time, even if it’s the first time.” She covered her face, “Nothing but wrong notes. My performance was unsatisfactory.”

“Whoever your conductor is, she’s full of hot air,” Vinyl quipped while hooking wires behind a large speaker. “Didn’t you hear those pones cheering for us? We were sick out there!”

Hipster cut the microphone’s power and whipped her head. “Sick, yeah, but not sick enough. I’m not ragging on Tavi or anything but right now, all of us are just a one hit wonder. Audience will be expecting more from us, so we better step our game up.” She infused magic back onto the microphone. “Yo! Before we start, a big shout out to the old timer for letting us use his digs! It’s a sweet place to keep our stuff on the down low and away from those unhip birds, you know what I’m saying?”

Across the yard on the back porch, Windy Chimes grunted with a leer. “You think I was going to tell you kids to get off my lawn?” he shouted. “Okay! I thought about saying it as a joke!”

“Good call! I’d be all over you for some weak sauce like that!”

Soon afterwards, Fluttershy walked through the backdoor with a tray of lemonade. “Would you like to sample my batch, Mister Chimes?”

“Thank you, young lady.” Chimes sipped on a cold drink. “Ah! Just the right amount of sweet! The lemonade’s good too. Heh!”

“It was nothing,” she replied with a smile that welcomed other thirsty guests to their refreshments. “I just want to be of help.”

“If usefulness is what you desire, you should take your leave and rest. A long night awaits you.”

Fluttershy placed the now empty tray on a nearby table, “But Rarity hasn’t come back from the warehouse yet. Who’s going to help Rainbow and Swift with their performance?”

“I’m certain they can handle that with the band’s assistance for now. Besides, a set of wardrobe for the unlikeliest of music combinations takes priority.”

The back door swung open once more and two pegasi exited the house. The attention Rainbow and Swift drew was that expected from the arrival of Wonderbolts and other than a different color scheme, they looked the part as well. Rainbow basked in the praise of her sparkling wardrobe while Swift tried his best to stand behind her, away from all those eyes.

“C’mon, now.” She nudged him forward into the yard, “Soak it in! This is exactly what a Wonderbolt has to go through.”

“But I don’t want to be a—”

“I know you don’t but just play along for me. Please?”

Her plea tugged his heartstrings enough to walk beside her, chest bolstered like how the Wonderbolts usually appeared in posters. When he glanced her way, her face shone with the joy that rewarded his struggles of wriggling into a suit fifty degrees too hot and one size too small. At least he now had conclusive proof of muscle gain over the last few months, whatever small amount that was.

Hipster banged hooves with the two aerial performers. “Slick! Totally slick! So much, energy! I can just feel the vibe from you two!”

“Well, duh. We are the stars after all,” Rainbow said with her usual inflated ego. “I hope this mixing rock and orchestra is a good idea because rock’s totally my thing but orchestra, not so much. Um, no offense.”

Octavia fidgeted from her seat. “No, I understand your apprehension, Rainbow Dash. We’re used to performing for more upscale affairs. Even before I joined this orchestra, I never played in anything this, unrestrained, before. I’m afraid I lack the requisite experience to handle a unique situation like this.”

“Now you better hit that mute on that kind of talk,” Vinyl spoke, sliding in next to Octavia. “You’ve got me and Hips to back you up. Besides, I saw you work that stick on stage. That was pure magic, Tavi!”

“But the notes—”

“Loosen up! I’m far from perfect myself and the only pon that can pick that up is Hips. Always ragging on what I’m playing just because of her talent.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t be dissing my mark, Scratch,” replied Hipster, moving up her tinted glasses for a moment, earning a laugh from the DJ. She chuckled before turning back to Rainbow and Swift. “Tell you what. We’ll start with the song we played back at the festival site. You know, work with what we already know so you two get a nice groove going.”

Rainbow hoof pumped. “Oh, yeah! Time to get this party started!”

What Rainbow didn’t notice was Swift’s growing sense of unease. She had her own priorities, mainly suppressing her emotions. With an explanation for them airtight as her attire, though, this practice session was a flight through a Cloudsdale park. The music proved pleasing enough to her tastes and after a few attempts, contact with Swift didn’t add extra heartbeats. Even her partner proved competent enough that she could cross off a hard collision off her worry list.

Over time, however, it dawned on her that he struggled to keep eye contact. If he smiled, his muscles fought to hold it in place. His forehead also became a lake of sweat, even after Rarity returned and made some adjustments.

“Is it still too tight, dearie,” Rarity asked him during a lemonade break, pulling around the hole designed for his wing.

“Just a warm day,” he answered before gulping down a whole glass.

“Well, aren’t you the weather pony leader of this town, Swift? I’d think you could adjust the temperature to something more comfortable.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t quite work that way, Rarity. Besides, it’s not that warm. Where are we now? Eighty? Eighty five?”

“Eighty eight,” Swift corrected. “I wanted it lower for this weekend but I’ve got my orders.”

Chimes pushed through the back door with another batch of cool drinks. “Orders? Hmf! It’s a convenient excuse to sell more cold refreshments and sunscreen. I’d say it’s unnecessary but what do I know?”

“I certainly don’t mind,” said Applejack as she arrived on the back porch along with Blitz. “If ponies are thirsty, that means they’ll be looking for something to drink. With my spot near the front entrance—”

“Yo! Our spot,” Blitz complained.

She pulled the lid of her Stetson downward. “Yeah, yeah. You don’t to remind me. Anyways, we’re set to go for tomorrow but we’ve got tonight to worry about first. Fluttershy? Why are you’re still here?”

Fluttershy raised an empty cup, “Well, I’m still needed here.”

“No, you’re not,” Rainbow countered, nudging her friend through the back door. “AJ? Make sure she goes straight to the motel and takes a long nap.”

“Will do, RD. Good luck with your routine.”

Rainbow patted her partner. “Don’t worry. We’ll be ready by show time. Right, Swift?”

He gave an affirmative answer that convinced everyone but her.

What’s up with you, Swift?

---

With one row of fireworks set up near the shore, Widget and Pinkie lit up the dusk skies in a splash of sparkling colors for thirty seconds. It was but another small step but the watching redhead saw it as a giant leap.

“I love it so much,” Blossom squealed, hugging the two mares responsible for the demonstration. “It’s so pretty!”

“Color me impressed, ladies. Not one misfire and everything’s up to code,” remarked Ember Quench before scribbling on a clipboard. “About your cannon, however, I have my doubts about allowing such a device to be operated.”

Widget raised a screwdriver at the firepony, “Oy! It’ll be at full power by tomorrow. There’s just some bugs to conk out first.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, Miss Widget.”

“Afraid? I can give you a small test of what it can do right now!”

The unicorn marched to the cannon and flipped a few switches on the side panel. Her sceptic stood on the other side, armed with a fire extinguisher. She looked for enthusiasm from Pinkie or Blossom but all she had was doubters around her. No surprise. It’s always been that way but tonight, maybe tonight would mark a new start.

Widget pushed a red button, immediately making the device rattle and emit a high-pitched whine. “Star shaped fireworks coming up,” she proclaimed. “Just hear her purr! Just watch it—”

One measly spark exited the barrel and the cannon clattered to a stop.

Ember squirted foam onto the access panel, putting out a small spark. “I will admit that by your standards, that was an uneventful failure, Miss Widget.” The stallion then jotted some more notes, “If you want to use your cannon tomorrow night, keep that away from the rest of the fireworks and take all necessary safety precautions.”

He left Widget with a passing grade on his inspection sheet before taking his leave. Any other day, she would’ve run home and plastered the good mark on her fridge.

Instead, she chucked the paper into the nearest wastebasket. “You lousy bucket of bolts!” She pulled out a wrench and whacked her invention, “I’ll tear you apart and turn you into slinkies!”

Blossom and Pinkie held her back until the former forced her to take a seat.

“Oh, Widget.” The redhead delivered a quick hug. “I know you really want this special cannon to work but don’t push yourself too hard. Simple fireworks are all we need and everything tells me you’re going to deliver. I’m proud of you!”

“But I want something really special for tomorrow, Blossi.” She clanged the barrel one last time.

Pinkie squeezed the pouty pony. “Even if it doesn’t work tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll make it work and when it does, everypony’s going to remember it.”

Widget sighed. “Hopefully, for the right reasons.” She then pulled out a bag and smiled. “But I can say these things in here will work like a charm! Are you sure this is all we need against the seagulls, Blossom?”

“Oh, yes,” she answered as she sifted through the contents. “I think Twilight will be having a nice evening. I wish I could be part of it but duty calls.”

“All nighter, Blossi?”

The surfer mare stared off toward the festival site, not that far away but much of its features draped in shadows. Little by little, another tent went up or one of the mechanical rides flashed its lights and went in motion. “Nah, Widget. A few extra hours but we’ll be ready. We’ll be ready.”

---

“Take ten, peeps!”

Hipster wiped hours of hard work off her forehead and took a well-deserved swig of water. Even with the sun long gone, the liquid that once swam with ice provided relief from thirst but not excess warmth. Nonetheless, it satisfied her and the exhausted ponies around her, at least the few that hadn’t found a convenient spot to collapse for an evening snooze.

“Talk about a long jam session,” remarked Vinyl as she sat next to Hipster and gestured Octavia to join them. “So, what do you think, Hips? How would you grade the sound so far?”

“From one to ten, ten being the highest, about five and a half on average.” Hipster stroked her chin, “Seven in some spots, maybe.”

“That’s quite a generous score,” Octavia interjected as she squeezed in between the two. “A four would be more accurate and I’m responsible for that. I am struggling mightily with the overall tempo, especially with that last song.” She gazed at the case holding her cello, “I know where my talents lie and conducting an entire orchestra is well outside my scope.”

Vinyl grabbed her around the neck and pulled her closer. “Tavi, you gotta stop doubting! I couldn’t do what you can do with just a stick!” Then, she brought in Hipster. “And your voice, damn girl! That’s ‘tour around the entire world’ type of talent!”

Hipster smirked. “Even if it is, this is a one-time deal. It ain’t hip to be too hip for your own good, dig?”

“If this will be a one-time performance, then we’ll make it one to remember,” said Rarity while rolling in a garment rack in front of them. “I’ll admit the fusion of classical and,” she squirmed for the right word, “eccentric sound made designing the right outfits difficult. That’s why I have a few mock ups you ladies can go through.”

“I see tears on that one,” Octavia noted on a grey vest she lifted from the rack.

Rarity nodded. “A design element and not shoddy work, I assure you.”

“I’m not sure if it would be proper to deviate from our usual attire. Our actual conductor—”

“—isn’t here, Tavi!” Vinyl ruffled her hair. “C’mon! Don’t be such a stiff!”

As Octavia and her two companions scrutinized the other garments, Windy Chimes brought over a much-anticipated new tray of cold water.

“How have our two dancers fared so far, Mister Chimes,” Rarity asked, searching across the darkening expanse over her head. “I would think they would be practicing right now, even if there’s no music.”

Chimes set the tray on a table and watched all the glasses disappear in five seconds, “They’re taking a dip on the ocean as we speak. Breathable as their suits are, you can only keep them on for so long before you’re swimming in sweat. As for their general performance, I’d say they’re, technically proficient.”

Rarity gave him a puzzled look. “Technically proficient? Should I be taking that as a positive?”

“I doubt we’ll have a midair disaster if that’s what worrying you.”

“Somewhat, but do they appear to be on the same page?”

Chimes turned to the trio that was the DJ, the singer and conductor converse about clothes and musical notes. “An answer to that, I don’t have.”

---

Near the shore, Rainbow sprawled on an inner tube as the waves occasionally splashed onto her damp coat. She might’ve been a pony with an active lifestyle but sometimes, she needed the occasional peaceful moment just like this once. Stars faded into existence before her eyes, a gentle breeze bristled against the palm trees lining the small beach and every time she breathed, she wished there was a spell to bring the ocean right to her doorstep. Forget a lowly branch with a pillow. This was the ideal setting to take a siesta.

“Darnit.” She stretched all she could, pumping energy throughout her body. “No time for napping. Back to work.”

Rainbow whooshed through the air and aimed straight at the stallion sitting on the shore. The moment she touched down and slid, he moved out of the way just enough to grab her and slow her momentum. No eating Brayside sand tonight.

“Oops! Forgot this wasn’t dirt,” she remarked, adding a nervous laugh at the end.

“Um, yeah.” He scurried back for some personal space. “Of course.”

“Think you’re ready for another session?” Rainbow reached for her suit lying over a towel and touched the inside, “These feel dry enough.”

Swift reached for his hair, “Sounds like a plan.”

After a brief silence, she blurted out, “Swift? What’s up with you?”

“Eh? N–nothing,” he said with a headshake.

With a sigh, she placed back the suit. “There’s no point holding anything back from me. Ever since we went to the Trotwalk, you’ve been off your game and I don’t think it’s because you caught something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Was it something I did last night?”

Struggling to keep his wings in check, “N–no! It’s wasn’t that!”

“So there is something! C’mon. It’s just you and me here. You can tell me.”

A part of him wanted to spill everything to her while another side injected fear into his chest. He knew this paralyzing sensation all too well but this time, his flying abilities were in no danger. For his overstressed heart, that was another story. “I’m, nervous.”

“Nervous? Nervous about what, Swift?”

Having Rainbow lean closer to him was one reason from many. Making up something on the fly was another. “T–the, the dance. Um, being in front of so many ponies, you know, performing. I mean, yeah, there was that race but that was… this is different. We were part of a big group. Here, it’s just us and the band.”

An eyebrow arched upwards. “Really? Is that what it is?” After some scrutinizing of his poker face, she patted him on the shoulder. “Okay, then. Whew! That’s a relief. Thought I was the only one feeling that way.”

“Eh?”

Rainbow nodded. “Swift, being a Wonderbolt has always been my dream. All these years, I’ve been working on stunts and doing them in front of friends and strangers. I thought doing that would prepare me for the day I get to do the real thing.” She stroked the glitter on her suit. “Tomorrow kinda feels like a dress rehearsal. I’ll be wearing something really slick and for once, I’ll have a teammate with me, a great teammate.”

He blinked a few times in awe.

“I got some jitters, that’s for sure, but in a way, that’s awesome. It’s like when I’m in the middle of a stunt and I’m just about to stall. For a few seconds, I’m like ‘I’m screwed! I’m totally screwed’ but then I get out of it. Woo! Right then, I feel alive! It’s what I love about flying! Well, except when I actually screw up and crash. Then that’s really not fun. You know how that is.”

He muttered a faint acknowledgement.

“Anyways, I won’t tell you to just suck it up. If you’re nervous, that’s all right. I’m nervous too. We’ll just have to work through it, that’s all.”

“Wow. I’m just,” Swift wondered whether the pony sitting in front of him was a mirage. “Rainbow, I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you.”

“Why?” She had a brief chuckle. “Well, okay. I guess telling you to suck it up would be something I might say to Fluttershy but you’re definitely not Fluttershy. Well, maybe not even like that.”

Before he could judge whether Rainbow complimented or slighted him, she had ahold of his hoof. “Um, w–what are you doing?”

Every wick of sparkling seawater on her face evaporated. I can handle this. There’s nothing to it. “C’mon. Let’s practice.”

“N–now?”

“Yeah. Since nopony’s watching us, maybe that will make it easier on you. I’ll lead, okay?”

His heart floated faster than his own body. The best he could do to relax is to focus on his next move in the performance. “Rainbow? Which number are we doing?”

“Pffft! Let’s not worry about boring stuff like that! Why not just do what feels awesome?” Pretend we’re moving to a really fast wild jam! Like this!”

“Eh?”

Rainbow wriggled like a snake and after some urging, he did the same. Then she grabbed his other hoof and took him for an upwards spin. The second she let go, she tucked in her body and did five furious rolls followed by a flip. No matter what maneuver she did, he copied it, down to the occasional mistake. If she wanted him to relax and inadvertently make him forget the true reason for his nervousness, mission accomplished. If she was trying to put together a new routine, this was throwing everything in the refrigerator into a salad bowl and calling it a full course meal.

“You’re just being totally random, Rainbow,” he chortled as he ascended above the palm trees. “That’s not gonna fly tomorrow.”

“What’s your point?” She bumped her flank right into his. “You think you can do better?”

“That sounded like a challenge to me.”

“So what if it is? What are you going to do about it?”

This time, it was his turn to grab a hoof. Whatever impulse gave him the courage to do so also guided Swift on what type of moves would be fitting for a daredevil mare. Spins, she adored spins but the way she does them are too plain and fast for enjoyment. No, she deserved something better so he turned down the speed and added sideways rotation.

“Whoa! Swift? I’m digging this!”

Before she could get accustomed to the view of both sky and ocean, he flipped around her and transitioned her into a sideways twirl. Moments later, they started a dive toward the sea and with just one look, she entrusted him to hold her upside down inches from the water.

“Ha, ha, ha!” She let her hind leg skim over the sea. “Swift? You’ve been holding back all this time, haven’t you?”

He didn’t know the answer, only that he wanted to show her more. “Get ready!”

With all he could, he tossed Rainbow up and over his head. Somehow, she knew to grab his outstretched hoof and pull him upwards. They repeated the move a few times, gaining altitude and trust in one other. Possibilities opened up for additional acrobatic moves: double corkscrew, combination spin and a slide with a few twists at the end. No matter what they did, they kept a close distance, their impulsive need to bask in the sight of one another too much to overcome. With each maneuver, they not only earned high marks on technicality, they discovered how to add a touch of charm and elegance to their wing flaps.

Wonderbolts would never move like this. They merely flew next to each other, the goal being to wow their audience with pinpoint precision. These two flew as one, a fusion of souls hundreds of feet up in the air.

Eventually, Swift brought her closer and looped every higher toward the moon. Certainly, Rainbow could’ve done these moves herself — and faster to boot — but it wouldn’t have the meaning it had now. Flying was her passion, a language she thought she had mastered with countless practice hours. Tonight proved there were more lessons to learn. Pegasi could share much more with how they move their elegant feathers than with clumsy words. A moment like this was how to live, to relish the gift that made them different from earth ponies and unicorns. They were the lucky ones. Wings gave them freedom to explore the skies and yet, there was something special sharing it with somepony that understood.

“Fold your wings in, Rainbow!”

Ice had begun forming on her nose. “What? All the way up here?”

He pressed right up against her body. “Trust me!”

Immediately, she acquiesced. Before she knew it, the stallion flapped his wings just enough to send them both into a free falling spin. From there, he ceded all controls to gravity.

“Swift! You, a-ha-ha!”

Such a stomach churning sensation would’ve sent any sane pegasus into a panic. Instead, they embraced the sensation of unequivocal freedom from worrying about speed and altitude. Every second, they lost bits of their maturity until they were back to their respective ages when they first took flight. Faster and faster they twisted further out of control and their only reaction is scream their unbridled delight to the skies, never letting go of one another. They wanted this to last forever, an experience unlike any other.

A love letter to flight, written by their wingtips.

Eventually, sanity had Swift pull Rainbow back to reality a few feet from where they began, just above the pristine sand. By their labored breathing, taking a seat was in order but they kept hovering, unwilling to part.

“You were so definitely holding back,” Rainbow whispered to him, reaffirming her grip around his neck. “Swift? I never knew.”

“Never knew what?”

“That you could fly like that. It was so… why haven’t you shown me this before?”

That answer was right in front of him and if he didn’t say it soon, his cheeks would betray him. “Well, I, you see—” Another interruption arrived but it came from his mind. Mistake, mistake, the almost kiss on the train was a mistake. His intended response was right and yet, wrong at the same time. Swift drifted apart from her, doubt and fear disabling his voice box.

“Yoo, hoo! Where are you two hiding?” Rarity emerged from the field of palm trees and onto the beach. “Ah, there you are, dearies! We’ve been expecting you for quite a while!”

Rainbow gasped. “Oh! Y–you were?” She raced to her side. “Oops! Heh, heh! Sorry. Guess we’ve, um, lost track of time. We’re, we’re ready. I think we’re ready. Right, Swift?”

A solemn nod was enough to satisfy them but not the sudden heart seizure cutting off his vitals. In the span of ten minutes, he went from the peak of elation to the basement of anguish, all because of one cyan mare. I can’t go through this. I… shoot! I– I need to do something! On a whim, Swift collapsed onto the sand and clutched his left wing.

As expected, the two mares ran over to him and asked what was wrong.

“I, um, must have tweaked it.” Swift hissed as he moved his appendage.

Rarity threw herself back with a dramatic gasp. “This is an absolute tragedy! Our star performer injured the night before their big performance! Somepony call a doctor immediately!”

“No, no!” Swift pretended to chuckle. “No worries, Rarity. Not my first time with this problem. I just need to let it rest until tomorrow.”

“But we still need to practice,” Rainbow interrupted.

“We’ll be okay. Just get a feel for the music,” he answered, careful not to look directly at her. “If we can, you know, improvise, then, you know. Ahem! Guess I’ll, I’ll just call it a night.”

“Wait!” Rainbow toyed with her hair, “Um, I could help you fly home.”

Swift took shaky steps back, “No, that’s not, no need! A nice long jog will do me good!”

He did just that, running down the beach with all the power he could muster. It was the physical distraction he needed to forget about the mare he left behind, even if only for a little while.

---

“Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!” In the dark behind a tree trunk, Blitz scouted his surroundings. He then tip hoofed toward some bushes, “Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!”

From within some shrubbery, Applejack yanked him into the leaves “Will you cut that out,” she muttered through her clenched jaw.

“Just throwing in some sneaking tunes. Geez!” Blitz parted the bushes in front of him. Ahead, the moon provided just enough natural light to form the outlines of trees towering over a pitch-black pit. “Yo, Radar? Are we in the right spot?”

Radar crawled in between the two and turned on her magic. “Affirmative. I detect no notable activity from the seagulls. Fluttershy is already stationed in the designed area along with her animal friends.”

“It’s all coming together. Much better than expected,” responded Twilight, joining the three hiding behind the vegetation. “Remember, everypony. I can erect a barrier for about ten minutes, max. We have to make this count.”

“Whenever you’re ready, Sugarcube,” Applejack whispered.

“Operation Squawk Box is a go.” Twilight hopped onto a rock overlooking the edge of the pit. With a sudden shrill, a glittering energy wall encompassed the area, waking the seagulls from their slumber.

At the bottom of the pit, Master Pinion raised a ruckus, prompting his subordinates to follow his lead.

Twilight blew on a whistle, doing little to quiet down the trapped birds. “Listen up because I’m only going to say this once! Brayside Beach and the animals of this jungle have had enough of your unruly behavior! You think it’s so much fun to be incredibly annoying to all your neighbors? Let’s see how you like it when you’re the one being annoyed!”

The unicorn raised a hoof and made a signal. Soon afterwards, critters ranging from anteaters to warthogs emerged from the bushes, carrying an assortment of items whichever way they could. At Fluttershy’s instruction, the animals walked right up to the barrier’s edge and plugged up their ears. The ponies did the same save for the unicorn with the whistle.

“Commence annoying level number one,” Twilight barked.

Toucans and parrots left their branches and began a circular path above the barrier. Eventually, they began dropping their white payload through small holes in the energy field. Then, the parrots opened their beaks wide and strung together their variation of ear splitting squawks. Some seagulls raised their voices even higher while others banged right into the sparkling bubble, causing ripples across the shield.

With a hoof wave from Twilight, the parrots lowered the volume. “Aha! You see how that feels from the other side? I’ll make this nice and simple. We stop annoying you right now and you promise us not to interfere with the festival and be nicer to all the animals in this jungle.”

Immediately, Pinion bolted to the highest perch in the pit. He screeched a few words before spitting on the rock he stood on.

Fluttershy rubbed her temple, “If you didn’t get that, Twilight, he’s not backing down.”

“Just as I expected. They’re not going to give up that easily.” Twilight stomped her hoof. “In that case, proceed to annoyance level number two! That’ll teach them a lesson!”

The non-winged animals prepared to blow into Widget-crafted instruments: kazoos, whizzers, vuvuzelas and horns. A few even had cowbells and clappers in case they ran short of breath. When Fluttershy gave the order, it marked the birth of a new orchestra with one singular and bizarre purpose – play the worst performance possible. Widget’s hoofwork ensured that every tune, every pitch came out distorted and at maximum volume.

Twilight finally donned her earplugs but even with that, the ruckus made concentration more difficult. Thankfully, the seagulls could no longer mount an offensive against her barrier. The collective noises had them writhing wherever they landed, their wingspans proving to be poor noise blockers.

Again, Twilight motioned for a lull. “You know, we can keep this up all night if we have to! Agree to our terms and we’ll let you go back to sleep!”

This time, Pinion flapped all the way to the edge of the barrier where he could see Twilight face to face. “Cram it, ugly!”

The unicorn slipped backwards but Applejack saved her from a fall. “W–what?” Her magic dimmed for a moment. “You, you actually talk?”

“Your hearing’s broken, ugly? Of course, we can talk! Every seagull in Equestria can talk!”

Suddenly, a chorus of laughs erupted from within the pit.

Twilight flicked her tail. “You don’t say? Then why haven’t you until now?”

“Because we’re not like those other seagulls that waste their time speaking your language. I mean, if we just go—” He spat out a string of bird speak —“it’s a lot annoying and straight to the point. Unfortunately, you’re all too stupid to get the message so I’ll spell it out for you. This is our turf now and we can do whatever we want whenever you want. Deal with it!”

Bubbles poured out of Twilight’s horn. For all the emphasis on love and tolerance, she had the urge to zap the leader bird into barbeque. Even if she could set her morals on the wayside, she had enough trouble holding this barrier in place.

“Orders,” asked Applejack.

There was no point continuing a gradual progression. It was time for the last resort option. “Maximum annoyance level,” Twilight enunciated with volume.

Master Pinion feigned a wing shake. “Oh, no. Maximum annoyance. We’re all doomed. Ha, ha! Don’t you know whom you’re dealing with? We’re seagulls! We pride ourselves in making the most annoying noises that anypony or anyone has ever heard! What could you losers come up with that could top us?”

Then, Pineapple Blitz climbed onto a separate rock outcropping. “Right here, you bird brains! Heh!”

Applejack tossed the stallion a microphone before grabbing a record player and two small speakers hidden within a nearby bush. She turned one of the knobs on the speaker and gave Blitz the okay signal.

“Blitz test, yeah!”

The resulting sound shook leaves off branches and broke off loose rock from the pit walls.

“Oh, Blitz, yeah! I bet they can hear me all the way from Brayside! Time to hit you with my greatest hits!”

Everyone around the stallion pressed on their plugs, ensuring a tight fit. Twilight, however, kept hers a little loose. In spite of Blossom’s advice earlier in the night, she wanted to hear what the fuss was about Blitz’s singing abilities, or lack thereof. There’s been plenty of adjectives to describe it – none of them qualifying as a positive – but she couldn’t imagine how an inability to carry a tune could possibly help in this situation. Nevertheless, she braced herself as Applejack moved the needle onto the record. Twilight guessed this would be rock, the logical choice if the intention was maximum decibels.

Close but not quite.

Instantly, Twilight recognized the tune as a song that had electric guitars but with a slow tempo. The lyrics were what she would expect to hear on Hearts Warming Eve, that of a stallion protecting the love of his life, no matter the obstacles. With its original singer, even a pony not that interested in romance found a certain appeal to the song.

This karaoke performer, on the other hoof, destroyed every syllable with what a dictionary would define as singing. In reality, Pineapple Blitz was a butcher of the worst kind, destroying not just the words but also pouring searing acid into her delicate eardrums. Her magic faltered and the barrier developed giant gaps.

“Oh, sweet Celestia, no!” Twilight pressed the plugs deeper into her ears.

To her shock, not one seagull took advantage of her lapse. The stallion had sent them all into a state of writhing pain and squawking agony. A few mustered a brief flight toward the barrier before Blitz shot them down with a flurry of lethal notes. What was a longshot idea turned into a massacre of not just birds but also of an innocent song. While Twilight looked away from the pit, many miles away, Hipster Amps literally dropped the mike.

“What in the–” Hipster’s ears twitched faster by the second.

“Yo, what’s the deal, Hip,” Vinyl asked. “You’ve gone pale on me!”

“Don’t you hear it?”

Vinyl checked random spots around Chimes’ backyard. “Nothing. What’s up?”

“I sense a disturbance in the waves.” Hipster shuddered. “That ain’t right. Totally not hip, Blitz. You’re wrecking the sound waves, bro.”

He might have been but as he went deeper into the song, he pushed the seagulls closer to the brink. However, Twilight’s magic reserves also teetered close to the edge, the barrier flickering every few seconds. It became a battle of endurance between a finite amount of magic and an unknown level of tolerance.

“Radar, contingency plan B,” Twilight strained to say with a loud voice. “We may have to… huh?”

Finally, Pinion raised one of his gallant wings and waved it about like a flag. “E-nough! We’ve had enough! Shut him up, pleaseeeeeeeee!”

At first, Twilight gazed at him with puzzlement. Bereft of hearing, she had to combine his stilted movements and read his beak movements in order to shout for an all stop.

Blitz raised his hoof and twanged an invisible guitar, unaware of his new orders. Therefore, Applejack delivered a personal message right into his ribcage. “Owwww! Hey!” His nostrils flared at the smirking cowpony. “I was just ready to sing the chorus!”

“No chorus! No chorus,” Pinion urged, clutching his head while lying flat on a rock. “Damn you. That was downright dirty! Completely unfair! That noise should be illegal!”

“Well, it’s not,” Twilight answered, refraining from cockiness the best she could. “That’s just one song he knows. We’ve got plenty more we can choose from. We can come back every night and indulge you with his singing talents or you can take our deal. The choice is yours.”

Pinion snarled. “Like we’ll… ahhhhhh!”

The singing resumed but not from the surprised Blitz. One of the birds had pushed a button on a pen-sized object that replayed a brief part of the performance.

“Widget was kind enough to build portable recorders just in case,” Twilight confirmed. “But if that doesn’t convince you, then let’s enjoy that chorus, shall we? Blitz? Resume—”

“Noooooooooo!” Pinion pounded the gritty ground. “Ughhh! Fine! Fine. You have a deal but I warn you, pony, that this is only a setback. We’ll be back with something even more annoyi—” He cowered, courtesy of a recorded singing voice.

Twilight lowered the barrier around the pit. “I’m glad we were able to negotiate a deal. I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

Twilight then walked a few feet away from the jungle before slumping by a tree trunk. Not long after, her pony companions surrounded her.

“The seagulls are staying within the pit,” Radar reported. “I believe the animals can keep them at bay in case they want to start chasing us.”

“That was one might fine job, Twilight,” Applejack complimented.

“And not a moment too soon.” Twilight pressed on her temple, “Remind me to practice my magic barriers more.”

Fluttershy drifted into Blitz’s line of sight. “Why the sad face? We took care of the seagulls, didn’t we?”

He took a seat and grunted. “Blossom didn’t say anything about recording my voice! That wasn’t part of the deal I made with her!”

“I’m just surprised you even agreed to do this in the first place,” Applejack added. “Must have been a really nice deal to go through with it. Knowing you, I bet you asked for a date.”

“A, a date?” Blitz blinked a few times before bopping his own head. “Ahhh, horse manure! I could’ve had a date with Blossom! I only asked for a big home cooked dinner, the best one she could make!”

Applejack smiled broadly. “You didn’t… you mean?” She broke into a guffaw. “You embarrassed yourself like that just for some food?” She struck him lightly with her hat. “Oh, Celestia! I’ll be in stiches till tomorrow!”

Twilight shook her head, chuckling. “Tomorrow. If I’m reading the moon right, it may already be Saturday. Whatever the case, festival, here we come!”

Comments

[RainDusk]

This chapter was totally worth waiting

[RainDusk]

keep up the hard working

[Outlaw Quadrant]

6772947 You have the right idea. With so many instruments available to play, it's a bit of a juggling act. Some instruments may get emphasis at certain parts.

[Dustmane]

Oh what I would give to actually hear Blitz's singing voice

[Outlaw Quadrant]

6779451 Believe me, you don't.

It may the last thing you'll ever hear.

[Just Defender]

6779908 I can imagine, having heard Mike Kirby.

[Dustchu]

Hehehehehe, man its good to see more ot this, that part with them flying and what Swift did was beautiful, nice job man!