Tall Tales' Not-So-Secret Shipfic Folder

by Tall Tales

A Question of Time [Tom/Braeburn/Doctor Whooves]

Truth be told, he had questioned before. Maybe, a dirty little voice in his head kept telling him, it was time to stop questioning...

— New Experiences

Braeburn circled the rock for the seventh time but no matter where he went or how he moved, the pair of sunglasses on the rock stared into his eyes.

“That’s just creepy,” he said and tilted his head. The sunglasses followed him sideways, except it didn’t really follow. Braeburn couldn’t explain it. The sunglasses moved to whichever side he was looking at but Braeburn couldn’t see it move. It was just inexplicably there.

“It’s simple spatial manipulation,” Doctor Whooves said, sitting on top of the rock and kicking his hooves idly. “I don’t know why you’re so interested in Tom when you’ve got me to look at. I’m far more interesting. Not that you’re not interesting, Tom,” he added, patting the rock. “Anyway, come on. We’ve been here for far too long already. I’m sure you’re eager to get back to... well, whatever pony town you were picked up from.”

“I’m Braeburn and it’s—” he reared on his hind hooves “—AAAAAAA-pple-LOO-sa! I’d love to get back home but I haven’t heard any suggestions.”

Braeburn looked around, hoping to see an exit appear but there was nothing except the same endless expanse of blue surrounding them. He wasn’t sure how he got here but, heck, he wasn’t even sure how he was standing on a color. It was far more practical to worry about getting out rather than how he got in. So far, he’d done a lot of walking around looking for anything else but the blue seemed to just go on and on.

There was only Braeburn, Doctor Whooves, and a rock named Tom.

“I already told you my plan, didn’t I?” Doctor Whooves said, hopping down from the rock and sidling up beside him. “We have to kiss.”

“That is not a plan.”

“It is a plan,” Doctor Whooves insisted. “A brilliant plan. I don’t see you coming up with anything.”

“Well, we don’t kiss. There. That’s the plan.”

“Rubbish plan. Mine’s better and will get us out of this dimension.”

“Let me see if I understand. We kiss, and somehow that gets us out of this weird blue place?”

“Yes!” Doctor Whooves threw his arms up in exasparation. “It’s a very simple concept to grasp.”

Braeburn rubbed his chin and pretended to think about it. “...Nope. No kissing.”

“It’s the only way out.”

“I’m still not seeing myself kissing you.”

“Imagine it then, because I guarantee you: we will kiss. Maybe not now, maybe not any time soon. But sooner or later....” Doctor Whooves trailed off, looking at Braeburn meaningfully. His eyes, a paler blue than this dimension’s color, bore into his own. They were beautiful, Braeburn thought, and felt vulnerable. He could get lost in those, could imagine them half-lidded as the pony they belonged to whispered promises into his ear. He could—

Braeburn shook his head and stepped back. “No.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t.”

“You will.”

Braeburn clutched his hat in frustration. “Can’t you think up a plan that doesn’t involve us kissing?”

Doctor Whooves shrugged. “Believe me, this is easiest. We have to kiss. Why are you so against us kissing? Oh, will I be your first? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it’s memorable. I’m an excellent kisser.” He put an arm around Braeburn’s shoulders and smirked, eyes still staring into his own.

Braeburn felt himself sweat and his cheeks felt unusually warm. “I’ve kissed plenty of mares, thank you very much.”

“But no stallions? Will I be your first stallion? Don’t be nervous.”

“I—” Braeburn shifted his eyes left and right, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Come now, it’s just a kiss! If you don’t, you’ll never get out of here.”

It was ridiculous but Doctor Whooves was wearing him down. The promise of getting back and never having to face this mad stallion again tempted him. Just one kiss and it would be over... “Alright, fine.”

“Excellent!” Doctor Whooves beamed and drew his face closer.

Curiosity. That was Braeburn felt, a strange mix of curiosity and excitement. He’d never kissed a stallion before, but he’d thought about it. He’d thought about it a lot. Whenever he’d see two stallions together, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like. Once or twice, he’d tried to ask a stallion out but never went through with it, changing the topic at the last second.

Before he realized it, Doctor Whooves’ lips were startlingly close and still curled up in an insufferable grin. “Come on, then,” the Doctor said. “Pucker up.”

Braeburn opened his mouth to ask... something, he wasn’t sure anymore because all he could think of was the warm tongue in his mouth and the lips against his own.

“Mmph!”

Braeburn’s eyes went wide, feeling the other stallion on him.

Doctor Whooves kissed with the same excited urgency he had when he spoke, his tongue quick but deliberate, seeking out every corner of his mouth until it felt like there wasn’t anywhere that hadn’t been touched by it. He couldn’t help but respond, his own tongue moving to meet the Doctor’s.

Braeburn could only feel heat. His entire body felt on fire, like he’d been out in the desert sun too long and the heat had enough time to soak into every inch of his bones, warming him from the inside out and dazing him out of his mind.

It wasn’t until a few moments after Doctor Whooves released the kiss that Braeburn realized it had ended, only a faint trail of saliva connecting their two mouths before it grew too heavy and broke.

“There we go!” Doctor Whooves said, licking his lips. Braeburn couldn’t help but stare at his tongue when it darted out. “Had to be thorough.”

Braeburn didn’t respond, still shaky from the kiss. Kissing mares had never felt like that, but maybe it was just the Doctor. He truly was an excellent kisser.

It took another moment for Braeburn to realize they were still surrounded by blue. “Hey—” Braeburn began, but choked when his voice came out more breathy than he’d meant it to. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “Hey, I thought that was supposed to get us out of here.”

“And it was! Quite necessary for your mouth to contain my DNA. But now we move on to the next step of my brilliant plan: you have to kiss Tom as well.”

Braeburn blinked, unsure if he heard right. “You want me to kiss the rock.”

“Yes, but you have to do it the exact same time I do,” Doctor Whooves said and waved a hoof at the rock in question.

“Tom needs two operators, you see,” he continued to explain, “and he needs those operators to access him on opposite sides at the exact same time. Some kind of failsafe, I bet, to make sure no one uses him alone.

“The problem is that Tom is picky about who his operators could be. Luckily, I managed to get myself included in that category, so I just need to get another operator. Except there’s only you and getting Tom to recognize you as an operator is too difficult; a pony’s genome is inflexible, which I suspect is in part because of your cutie marks.

“So we have to do something else when I got this brilliant idea. What if I accessed both sides at once? Even if it’s the same operator accessing him on both sides, Tom will still activate. At least I think he will. But accessing both sides at once is a stretch even for me, so that’s where you come in! If Tom recognizes you as me, then that’s as good as me being there!”

Doctor Whooves beamed, proud of his deduction.

Braeburn sighed and dropped his shoulders. “I don’t understand a lick of what you just said, but I just have to kiss him the same time you do?”

“Essentially, yes. Come now, on three!”

Doctor Whooves moved to Tom’s other side, leaving Braeburn with only Tom to look at.

“One!” the Doctor said.

Braeburn stepped forward, gathering courage. He’d never thought about what kissing a rock would be like, but he’d already kissed a stallion. It would be a day of firsts.

“Two!”

Tom stared at him through the dark lens of his shades, expression inscrutable.

“Three!”

Braeburn pressed his mouth against Tom, a few inches below his shades.

The kiss was odd, but he supposed it wasn’t bad. Just strange. Braeburn licked the rock like he would a block of salt, feeling its coarseness against his tongue. Tom had no real taste that he could tell, except maybe a mild saltiness, but he didn’t know if that was because of Tom or because of what was left from the Doctor’s kiss.

Braeburn licked Tom again, keeping his mouth pressed against his walls. Shouldn’t something be happening? He started feeling self-conscious, kissing a rock, but went to lick Tom one last time when—

BZZZZZAAAAP!

The world turned into a racing blur of color, of streaking lights and whirling sensation. Lightning danced on Braeburn’s tongue and all he could hear was a high-pitched whine before he finally pulled his mouth away from Tom.

He staggered a few steps, light-headed, before collapsing on the ground.

“That was quite an experience,” Doctor Whooves said from the other side of Tom. Braeburn could hear his hooves step on the ground, drawing closer to him. “But look! It worked!”

Braeburn turned his head enough to look up and, true enough, they were out of the blue dimension. Except now they were in a dimension completely composed of the color orange.

“I don’t—I don’t think we’re back in Appleloosa,” Braeburn wheezed.

“A minor miscalculation. Not to worry, we’ll get there eventually! Tom adjusts himself with every trip so we just need to do this a few more times. I’ll give you a few minutes to get your breath back and then we’ll kiss and do it all over again.”

Braeburn waves a hoof and grumbled something out. He wouldn’t admit it, but he looked forward to that kiss.

Author's Note:

Card: I Swear I'm Not Gay

Comments

[ObabScribbler]

Hi there. I hope you don't mind, but I liked this chapter so much, I have adapted it into an audio version on YouTube:

[PresentPerfect]

Ah dammit, this was great on so many levels. :D

Oh, and I don't know what happened with Scribbler's reading, but it's still there.

[Tall Tales]

5965879
Oh gosh, that was amazing. I am so flattered and happy and excited and squeeee.

Thanks for linking it and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

[Solitair]

Noice.

[Bruno]

Well, this was certainly an interesting mini-fic.