Chapter 1
The sun raise over New Mare City. To many people, it was a normal day, but that was not the case in New Mare City.
"Much more than just a series of small, isolated incidents, it's apparent an organized criminal element is at work." A women voice was heard as the scene was shift around the city.
"And at the moment, business is good. So good, in fact, there appear to be no eyewitnesses to any of these crimes." The same women voice said as the newspaper was deliver to a newspaper stand saying "Crime as raise."
"With complaints ranging from purse-snatching to breaking and entering, police switchboards have been swamped with the angry voices of more and more citizens who have fallen prey to the recent surge of crime that continues to plague the city." The women said again as a few people took some of the newspaper.
"Instead of getting better, things have gotten worse. Even more alarming is the baffling and often bizarre nature of these crimes." The women spoke again as a man wallet was stolen and pass around, before it disappear in an ally.
"Merchandise of every size and description from skateboards to stereo systems has been disappearing from store shelves and storage areas at an alarming rate." The woman voice said as a man made a deliver and walk back to see that his truck was empty.
"Even the victims themselves rarely glimpse the thieves. Many don't know they've been victimized until it's too late." Another women was watching this one speak and turn away. She turn back and saw her TV was gone.
"In fact, police have yet to come up with an eyewitness. Only a few vague reports of young boys or teenagers at the scenes have been filed." The women said as more crimes happen.
"But whoever is behind these crimes, one thing is certain. These are much more than just a series of random incidents. Come on. Hurry up. Good. Crimes without criminals? An invisible gang at work? Who are we going to call? Unfortunately, the police are the only ones available to combat what some are dubbing "the silent crime wave." But perhaps the most disturbing silence is that coming from City Hall." This time we see the women that been speaking this whole time.
She had purple hair and ice blue eyes. She had a white news suit on and diamond shape earrings. She also had some make-up on.
"Rarity Belle, Channel Three Eyewitness News." She said ending her report.
Rarity Belle was a news reporter that was looking into the crime that has been happen though out the city. She was the only one that wanted this crime to be look into more then normal, but with all the reporters she has made, no one has done anything to stop them. Rarity was just about to leave when the guard stop her for a bit.
"You got to stop working so hard." He said to her.
"What, give up all this glamour?" She joke.
The guard laugh and said, "Goodnight."
Rarity wave and walk out the door. She started to take out her keys when she heard something and look up to see that her trailer was been empty by a few gang members.
"Bad timing." One of the said.
"You're telling me." Rarity agree.
She turn and bolted, but she didn't get far, before she was jump.
"Get away from me! What do you think... Help!" Rarity call out as the gang member try to steal from her.
"What the hell's going on? Thought I'd seen it all."
They all stop at the sound of voices and something been thrown in the air. Something hit the light above them and it shatter making everything dark.
"All right. Come on, tough guys." A voice said and the sound of fighting fill the air.
Soon a siren was heard and Rarity look up to see the gang members all warp up and the police walking up to her.
"You all right, ma'am?" One of the Officers ask her.
"I'm fine." Rarity said and check to make sure her diamond shape earrings were still on her ears.
"Rest right here while we deal with these guys.", The same officer said and walk around to untie the gang, "Ted, give Hoops a hand."
Without anyone knowing, a man cover open and some green eyes peek out. It watch as Rarity look down, thinking she saw it.
"Oh, man." It whisper.
Rarity look down and saw something she knew, a Sai. Rarity pick it up on look at it.
"Let's get them in the car." The officer said, as Rarity slip it in her bag.
"Damn." It said before retreating under ground.
Under the sewer four shadows walk through cheering about their first battle.
"Oh, spectacular." One said.
"We were awesome, sisters!" said another.
"Awesome!" The third said.
"Yes, dudes and dude-ettes, major league butt-kicking is back in town." The second said before the third jump in the air.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Ponies
Soon one of the shadows jump out and look to be a cyan pony with rainbow mane and tail and wings on her and she wears a blue mask and wields two long and razor-sharp katanas. Her name is Rainbow Dash.
"Awesome!" She said as she landed.
The other shadow jump out and was a pink pony with a curly mane and tail that was also pink and wears a orange mask and wields a pair of nunchakus. Her name is Pinkimina Pie or Pinkie for short.
"Righteous!" She said laughing.
"Bossa nova!" They both heard and stop.
There behind them was purple pony that had a horn and a purple mane and tail with a pink stripe in it and wears a purple mask and wields a bo staff. Her name was Twilight Sparkle.
"Bossa Nova?" Rainbow asked.
"Chevy Nova?" She asked smiling.
The two shook their heads knowing their sister can't get any of those words right.
"Excellent!" She shouted, surprising them.
"All right!" Pinkie said and they give each a low and high hoof.
"Come on, let move it!" Rainbow said as they walk off.
"I'm staving!", Pinkie said as her tummy growl, "We're talking major pizza attack here, dude-ettes."
"Pizza! I need it. Oh, baby." Twilight said, also hungry.
Soon an fourth pony walk out and this was was orange with a blonde mane and tail and wear a dark red mask and wields a pair of sai. She also had a hat on. Her name was Applejack and unlike her sisters, she was not happy or hungry.
"Oh man." She groaned, as she held up her only sai.
"What's eating her, sisters?" Pinkie asked.
"Give me a hoof!" Rainbow said and held her hoof up.
"You got it!" Pinkie said and she and Twilight give Rainbow a high hoof.
"We were great." Twilight said as the walk in.
Applejack stop at the door and look back before hold up her sai once more.
"Damn!" She said and walk in.
The three ran up to their teacher still excited of their first fight.
"We have had our first battle Princess Celestia. They were many, but we kicked...", Rainbow said, before stopping and calming down, "we fought well."
"Were you seen?" A lovey voice ask her.
Rainbow and the others shook their heads no.
"In this you must never lapse. Even those who would be, our allies would not understand. Our domain is the shadow, tray from it reluctantly. For when you do, you must strike hard and fade away. Without a trace." We soon see another pony, this one was white, with different colors on her mane and tail that flow like the wind. She also had a horn and wings on her.
"I lost a sai!" Applejack bust out.
"Then it is gone." Celestia said, trying to calm her down.
"But I can get it back." Applejack said again.
"Applejack...let it go." Celestia said quietly.
Twilight place a hoof on Applejack, but she was to upset to care and hit it off. Twilight hit her back which case Applejack to hit back. Celestia's voice stop them and Applejack walk away.
"Your ninja skills are reaching their peak. Only one truly important lesson remains, but must wait. I know it is hard for you here underground." Celestia told them.
While she was doing so, Pinkie was on the phone, ordering Pizza for everyone.
"I want a large thick crust with double cheese, ham, pepperoni..." She said, not listen to what Celestia said next.
"Your teenage minds are broad, eager. But you must never stop practicing the art of ninja, the art of invisibility." She said and turn back to see Pinkie still on the phone.
"Oh, but no anchovies. And I mean no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing, and you're in big trouble." She said before Celestia use her magic to pick up an book and threw it at her.
"Pinkimina Pie!" She said, a bit upset.
"Uh oh, That'll do. And the clock's ticking, dude." Pinkie said and hang up.
Everyone else laugh as Celestia shook her head. Pinkie shrug and walk up to the others.
"You are still young, but one day, I will be gone. Use my teachings wisely. I suggest we all meditate now on the events of this evening." Celestia said and they all started to do so, before some music was turn on.
She turn to see Pinkie and Twilight dancing to the music and having fun.
"Ninjitsu!" They said, as Celestia place a hoof on her head.
"Well, this is like meditating." Pinkie said as Celestia shook her head.
Applejack, on the other hand, had a over coat on and fixed her hat.
"Hey A.J., where you going?" Rainbow asked her.
"Out to a movie." She answered, "that OK with you?"
Rainbow nods as Applejack left. The five ponies are strange indeed, but remember there more to then then meets that eye.
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Oh I love TMNT! This is gonna be awesome!
Uh I just noticed you forgot fluttershy here.
4587287 I don't have a role for her.
4587293 what about kurai?
Can't wait to read the next chapter. But for now you get this awesome tmnt/mlp video.
4587370 Not sure when she'll come in, but I'll think about it.
4587293 Just finished reading and it was awesome and now I've got to watch the movie again bye!
4587403 Thanks, I know it switch Applejack and Rainbow Dash role and I don't blame people for that. I'm just going by the picture it show me.
Have not read it. But love the idea.
4587419...
I can understand going by picture you are using for a cover image.
Personality-wise, however, I would think Applejack make a better Leonardo and Rainbow Dash be more fit for the role of Raphael.
Raphael is generally the brash and hot-headed one, which puts her more in-tune with Rainbow Dash.
Since Twilight Sparkle is (appropriately) cast as also-intellectual Donatello, that means a Leader-figure is needed for Leonardo's role. In that case, the level-headed and pragmatic Applejack is best suited for that since she is generally considered the "second-in-command" of the Elements of Harmony, often taking up the lead when Twilight Sparkle is unable to.
4587690 Trust me, I have no problem with the order that having everyone else has, but I like this one, maybe if I come with my own version I'll change things up.
I love the first movie, I watched that when i was a kid, and love the story so far
Oy Vey, TMNT x Ponies, how can this go wrong
4587984 That depends on the writer, which is me of course. And the people that review this story.
4587370 1) Okay, it's KA-rai, not KU-rai. No offense, but get the names right. As a long-time TMNT fan, stuff like this bugs me to death!
Almost as much as when folks get Raphael's name, and especially his nickname, wrong.
Case in point (and this is aimed at the author of this):
Raphael's nickname is not Ralph; it's RAPH! The only time that his name ever has an "l" in it is at the end of his full given name!
Sky and winds above, that gets me riled the most.
Now here:
you've got the names right (and kudos for making Pinkie Mikey! You're bang on with this one!), so no nit-picks there.
(Even if Mikey (and by extension, Pinkie) is a lot smarter that folks give him (her) credit for.
)
Honestly, I'm sorry for this rather extended nit-pick, but just like AJ is my favorite among the Mane 6, Raph is my fave amongst the mutant Boys in Green, and as a longtime fan, I get as aggravated about the way his name is so commonly mispelled as I do when folks write AJ's name like this:
Or when they don't separate Apple Bloom's (like so):
.
Okay, that's the end of my mini-rant.
Okay, far be it for me to tell another writer how to write their stories, but you seriously, seriously need to go back and make a few (more than a few, actually) corrections to some of your stuff. Like these:
First example:
Corrected sentence:
Second example:
Corrected sentence:
(And what Dash said to AJ is fine. That was Leo's line from the move, word for word.)
Third example:
Again, the corrected version:
See what I'm getting at? You need to go back and add "ed" to some of the words, like "ask". "groan": etc.
Also, you need to work on your punctuation. I noticed that you've left commas and such out of the places where they're needed, and appropriate.
You also might want to find yourself a proofreader and/or an editor. This is a great fic, and the 1990 TMNT movie is one of my favorites (a bit dated, in this day and age, but still great), and I would love to see you do it justice, but you need to make some corrections here and there.
Sorry if you think I'm nit-picking, but rest assured that I'm not. I'm just trying to help. You're otherwise a good writer; this just needs a bit of polish, where some words and punctuation is concerned.
Now, with all of that said, this is getting a Favorite and an upvote from me, and I can't wait til the next chapter! Should be good!
4590171 Two both of your reviews, thank you for review it and I'm sorry about Raph name, but the spelling check of that name is wrong on my laptop and said it spell with an l in it. Second, thanks for pointing out some stuff. As for an editor, I really can't get one that will help me, they are either busy with something else or take a long time to fix it. And I a bit of the same way with Applejack and Apple Bloom names as well. I use to put a space in Applejack name, but that was fix over time. And when ever I see Apple Bloom name together, I know it wrong and if I do it, I fix it. Plus, I know some people think Rainbow fits Raph better then Leo, but you can see I'm going by the picture that I found. I plan on started the next chapter soon. Hopefully things will get better.
4590254 From me, you're very welcome, and that's okay. I totally understand ornery spellcheckers. You wouldn't believe how often that I have to wrestle with the ones on both my desktop PC (when it's working...which it isn't atm) and this laptop. Drives me bonkers sometimes!
Oh, okay. I understand. I just wish that I could help you beyond pointing things out, but I have trouble with my own stuff sometimes.
And I hear ya. I've seen a lot of people (and not just writers) do that. Artists do it, too, believe it or not.
Hey, I think you did okay with the character assignments, and I think that you should just leave Rainbow in Leo's role, rather than switching AJ and Dash out from the characters that you have them in. Mainly because what a lot of folks forget is, AJ has a temper, too, and she can be just as brash and reckless as Dash usually is when she wants to be. And it's nice to see her a little out of character from what she usually is.
Hey, my all-time favorite Pony playing my all-time favorite Turtle? That's cool with me.
And that's cool to know; can't wait!
And I hope it does, too.
This has potential but you need to go over it to fix the mistakes. Cause there's alot. It gets kinda confusing to read.
I know that my little pony is a Hasbro thing, but did you have to put in a transformers reference?