Chapter 5
You take another swig of hard cider before grabbing the volume knob to your stereo and cranking it as far as it will go.
L.A. Filly...
L.A. Filly...
L.A. Filly, Sunday afternoon...
L.A. Filly, Sunday afternoon...
L.A. Filly, Sunday afternoon...
Ride through your suburbs,
Into your blues...
Into your blues, yeah...
Into your blue, blue, blues...
Into your blues...
Ohhh, yeah...
From the next house over, you can hear your neighbor scream your name for third time this night. Stumbling over to the window, you open it so you can actually hear what he has to say this time.
“IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!” the gray stallion screamed. “Some of us have work in the morning, so turn that noise off you idiot!”
All you can do is laugh at him as the bottle of cider almost slips out of your hoof. “Hey you know? That's a good idea. But here's a better one: WHY DON'T YOU SIT ON MY DICK AND SPIN?”
Grabbing a hold of the window, you slam it as hard as you can before joining in with the song and sing at the top of your lungs.
“Mr. Mojo risin'... Mr. Mojo risin'... Mr. Mojo risin'. Mr. Mojo risin'. Got to keep on risin'. Mr. Mojo risin'! MR. MOJO RISIN'! MOJO RISIN'! GOTTA MOJO RISIN'! MR MOJO RISIN'! GOTTA KEEP ON RISIN'! RIDIN', RIDIN'! GONE RIDIN', RIDIN'!”
By now you're screaming and jumping up and down on your couch as you get into the song, spilling hard cider everywhere. “RIDIN'! GONE RIDIN', RIDIN'! I GOTTA RIDIN', RIDIN'! WELL, RIDIN' RIDIN'!”
Jumping from your couch, you soar across the living room and land on your recliner, knocking it over and hitting the floor with a heavy thud. “I GOTTA, WOO!” you cry as you climb onto the chair. “WHOA!”
You flail around helplessly for something to grab onto, but it's all for naught as you fall to the floor for a second time, bouncing your head off of the coffee table as you go down.
A black haze starts to overtake your vision as you try to continue signing. “Yeah...”
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A dull pounding in your head stirs you from your sleep and intensifies as you try to open your eyes. “Fuuuuuck...” you say as you grab a hold of your aching head. Getting to your hooves, you shakily walk towards the kitchen.
“Thirsty...” you mutter aloud.
Opening the fridge, you pull out a pitcher of water and throw your head back as you drink heavily from it. You continue to drink until a knock at the door makes you stop. “Just leave the package by the door, I'll get it later!” you cry as you turn back to the pitcher.
“Sir, this is the third noise complaint we've had this week, we need to talk with you.”
You groan in irritation before putting the pitcher back in the fridge and making your way towards the front door. Another knock at the door makes you pick up the pace. “I'm coming! I'm coming... Keep your saddle on.”
As you fling open the door, you immediately recoil and put your hooves to your eyes. “Someone turn down the sun...” you say as you try to get a look at the two ponies standing before you. “Oh. You guys again.”
“Yes, us again,” the white stallion in the blue uniform says as he adjusts his belt. “I thought we were clear last time we were here.”
The brown stallion next to him nods in agreement as he pulls at his badge. “Yeah, we're really getting tired of getting called down here. We're going to have to ask you to pay-”
“Yeah, yeah, I'll pay the fine, just lemme get my checkbook,” you grumble as you turn back into your living room.
“Uh... Okay then,” the white stallions says as you stumble off. “Maybe this will teach you about playing music that loud at all hours of the night.”
“Now where did I... Oh, here it is,” you say as you fish your checkbook out of a pile of empty beer bottles. Walking back towards the front door, you flip open the checkbook. “One of ya got a pen I could use?”
The brown stallion reaches for his belt and holds out a pen for you. “The fine is-”
“Yeah, I know how much it is,” you say as you take the pen from him. “I've been through this song and dance before... Say, weren't you two at that Pancake Dinner thing a few months back? The one you threw to raise money for renovations to the police department?”
“We were,” the white stallion says with a nod. “I didn't see you there.”
“It's because I didn't stay long. Those pancakes were terrible,” you say with a shudder. “You reach the thousand bit mark to get the renovations?”
The brown stallion shakes his head. “Sadly, no. I honestly don't think we're gonna hit the goal until next year.”
Signing the check, you hold it up for both of them to see. “See this?” you ask as you point to the amount listed. Their eyes go as wide as dinner plates as they get a look at the number. “This is for the fine and a little more for the fine officers of the Ponyville Police Department.”
The white stallion takes the check slowly before looking up to you. “How can you afford this?” he asks as he gives it to his partner.
“Are you seriously going to look a gift-pony in the mouth? Just take the damned money,” you say as you turn back into your house. “The next pancake dinner better taste like two-thousand bits!” you yell through the door.
You hear the officers chatter outside your door for a few seconds, but it soon disappears, giving you some measure of relief. “Glad that's out of the way...”
You walk across the beer bottle strewn floor over to the phone that hung on the wall next to a series of post-it notes. Picking it up off the receiver, you scan through the post-it notes until you find the number you want. “352-” you say aloud as you dial “225-1378...”
The phone rings a few times before a gruff voice answers. “Trump Card financial advisement, where we-”
“I need you to wire five thousand bits into my account.”
For a while, there's no answer and you think he hung up this time until you hear a long sigh from the other end. “Again?”
“Yes, again.”
“Listen kid, I know you're not feeling well, but-”
“I'm feeling just fine, what are you talking about?” you ask in an upbeat tone. “I'm the best I've ever been! I just feel like spending money all of a sudden.”
“Who are you trying to convince, kid? I know you. Seriously, what's wrong?”
You laugh aloud in spite of yourself. “Nothing's wrong, it's just I've been saving away all of this money for a rainy day and now it's pouring, so I want to buy an umbrella.”
“...Alright kid, if that's what you want. Not like you can make a dent in your wallet that easily. You'll have it twenty four hours.”
“Thanks,” you say as you go to hang up the phone.
“Just take care of yourse-”
You groan aloud as you look around the room in vain for a bottle of beer that you haven't already emptied.
“I need more booze...”
You pick up the phone again and dial up the local pub; a number you've managed to memorize by now.
“This is The Painted Lilly, how may I-”
“Yeah, can I get a 30 pack of lager delivered to-”
“Again?”
You let out a heavy sigh and nod. “Yeah. Again.”
“...Alright sir, we'll send someone over in a moment.”
“Thanks.”
Hanging up the phone, you look around the place in irritation. “Great, now what do I do?”
Walking over to a nearby coffee table, you move a few magazines before grabbing one of them and sitting down on the couch. “Ah! Son of a-”
Sitting up slightly, you reach under your seat and grab what was making your couch so uncomfortable. “What the... Oh!” you say as you pull out the obstructing object. “So that's where I put my flask.”
Unscrewing the top of it, you take a sip of it before opening up the magazine entitled 'Better Homes and Stables', flipping through with no real interest. That is, until something catches your eye.
“Hmm... I should buy a pool.”
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“Yeah, I know, I know,” you say with a bit of anger “but what about a hot tub? I've got enough room in my backyard, I can-”
“Sir, it's still impractical to build with such little space. If we-”
“I don't care if it's impractical, I want a hot tub! Now, either put me in touch with someone who can make this happen or I'll-”
A knock at the door interrupts you and you groan aloud in frustration. “This isn't over, not by a long shot. I'm getting a pool and this is going to happen. You'll hear back from me in a few minutes.”
Hanging up the phone in frustration, you walk up to the door and peer through the peep hole. “Well hello~” You say silently. A white unicorn with a purple mane stood on your doorstep, ready to knock again.
“Just a minute!” you say as you unlock the deadbolt. You run a hoof through your mane in an attempt to straighten it before opening the door with a smile.
The white unicorn’s smile disappears from her face as she lays on you, but takes a deep breath before clearing her throat.
“How do you do?” she asks with a little bow “I'm-”
“Those folks at the mail room are finally getting it and hiring more cute mail mares,” you say with a laugh. “You wouldn't believe the last one that came by to deliver my Vinyl Scratch Discography. She had this giant mole at the end of her nose and smelled like-”
“I'm sorry,” she says as she cuts you off. “But I am not a delivery mare. I came here to see you personally.”
“Oh?” you ask as you cock an eyebrow at her. “And what can I do for ya, sweetheart?”
“My name is Rarity and I'm an acquaintance of Twilight's and I-”
In one quick and fluid motion, you slam the door and dead bolt it before storming off. “Go away!”
“Well I never!” Rarity cries. “You open this door right now! I am NOT done with you!”
“Well I'm done with you!” you yell back as you sit down. “Just leave me alone!”
“Like hell I will!” she cries as she beats on the door. “You open this door right now or I’ll... I’ll....”
“Or you’ll what?” you ask before taking a sip from your flask.
“Or... I'll kick it down!”
You laugh a loud before finishing off the rest of the whiskey and screw the cap back on. “I'd like to see you try.”
“Have it your way.”
You shake your head as you set your flask down and kick your feet up. “I'm waiting!”
For a few moments, there's no answer. But then, you hear the sound of hoofbeats and not soon after, the front door is almost knocked off it's hinges as the white mare barrels through your living room.
“What the hell are you doing?!?” you yell. “Get the hell out!”
“Not in your life! I'm a mare on a mission and I'm not leaving until I've talked with you!”
“I don't wanna talk! I-”
“Now you listen here, mister,” Rarity says as she advances on you. “Ever since this little tiff you and Twilight have had, she's been crying her eyes out and has been a complete mess! I-”
“And you think I care?” you ask as you get to your hooves.
“Yes, you do care!” Rarity yells as she pushes you back down on the couch. “You wouldn't be cooped up in here, drowning your sorrows in cheap booze if you didn't care!”
“So what? I don't care anymore! I'm happy like this!”
Getting to your hooves, you turn your back on Rarity and make your way for your room. “I'm partying, I'm drinking, I've got great music and anything I could ever want is a phone call away. I'M FUCKING HAPPY!”
Before you can make your way to the stairs, Rarity darts in front of you and blocks them. “Just who are you trying to convince? Just look at yourself! Twilight's not the only one falling to pieces over this!”
“Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, TWILIGHT! THAT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOUT!” you yell as you make your way for the front door. Holding the busted door open for her, you point out into the streets. “Now... Would you kindly get the hell out of my house before I-”
“How does this make you better than him?” Rarity asks abruptly.
“Better than who?” you ask in irritation.
“Better than your father.” Rarity says as she walks towards you.
You feel your blood flare at the question. “What the hell do you know about my father?”
“I know what Twilight told me. Do you seriously think you're any better than him?” she asks with a scoff. “You're sitting here in your own filth, avoiding the problem at hoof and doing everything you can to stay far away from the one you love. You've abandoned her and-”
“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?” you scream. “You come into my home, UNINVITED I MIGHT ADD, and accuse ME of abandoning HER? I gave Twilight everything! I gave her my heart, my love, and does she do? Stomp it into the dirt! And now what is she doing? I trusted her, told her everything, and she's betraying that trust!”
“If anything, I'm the one that's been abandoned! AGAIN! I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!” you scream as hot tears fall down your face. “I KEEP LOSING EVERYONE I LOVE AND I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE!”
“Do you really believe that?” Rarity asks calmly.
You try to keep a straight face, but it all just overwhelms you. “I LOVED SOMEONE AND THEY SAID THEY LOVED ME! AND I LOST THEM! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG? I THOUGHT I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT! BUT-BUT...”
You stagger over to the couch before collapsing onto it in a heap. “But... I guess I'm just a fuck-up... A f-fucked up kid f-from a fucked up f-family who's g-gonna live a f-fucked up life...” you say with a sob.
“Just leave me alone...” you say as you feel Rarity take a seat next to you.
“Shhhh.... It's okay...” Rarity coos as she runs a hoof through your mane. “Just let it all out.”
You don't hold it back anymore. Burying your face into the couch, you cry openly for the first time in a long time. Tears flow freely as the facade breaks. “I MISS HER, OKAY?”
You stay like this for longest time before finally speaking up.
“What the h-hell happened?” you ask with a sob. “What did I do wrong? We were happy, we where la-laughing, and now we ain't...”
“That's what we're going to figure out,” Rarity says as she continues to comfort you. “I'm going to help you through this. But if we're going to get anywhere, you're going to have to have to let me help you.”
Looking up to Rarity, you try to rub the tears out of your eyes as you nod. “Yeah... Yeah, sure...”
“Why don't you clean yourself up?” Rarity asks as she looks to your bathroom. “And when you're ready, we'll talk.”
Getting to your hooves, you nod wordlessly before staggering towards the bathroom. As you walk in, you see yourself in the mirror and stop dead in your tracks.
Is...Is that really me? You ask as you touch your face.
Your coat was matted and dirty, your mane was tangled and partially caked with blood, and your eyes were completely bloodshot.
Turning on the water, you splash it over your face and watch as a chunk of dried blood falls from your head and into the sink.
What the hell happened last night?
Saving that question for later, you grab a hold of a nearby towel, you dry yourself off and take a deep breath. “Alright...”
Heading back into the living room, you look to the floor as you approach the couch. “Hey... Uh... Sorry. About... You know...”
Rarity simply waves a hoof. “It’s nothing. You’re hurt, confused, and angry. Anyone would scream in your position.”
“So, um... What now?” you ask as you sit down next to Rarity.
“We’re just going to talk. Nothing more,” she says with a reassuring smile. “So, why don’t you tell me what happened between you and Twilight? Give me your side of the story.”
“...I don’t know what happened. I mean, I know what happened, but I don’t know what started it all.”
“Then just start from the beginning. And take your time, dear,” Rarity says as she puts a hoof on your shoulder. “I’ve got nothing else to do today, so there’s no rush.”
Taking a deep breath, you think back to that night and nod. “Alright... Well, we were laughing and happy and I was a little tipsy.”
“So you were drinking?”
You shake your head. “No. Well, yes, but no. I was drinking, but I didn’t know it at the time. The waitress... Jubilee I think was her name, she got the drinks confused and I ended up with Pinkie’s super Bloody Mary. By the time I figured it out, I already finished it.”
Rarity crosses her legs before tapping her chin with her hoof. “And I take it Twilight didn’t approve?”
“Well, I don’t think so. I think she was more mad at the waitress, but I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, so I stopped her.”
Rarity just looks at you for a few moments before nodding. “I take it this is the same waitress that you were hitting on?” she asks plainly. “The one that left you with her number.”
You shake your head as you get to your hooves in anger. “No, no, no!” you cry. “I WASN’T hitting on her! And the number was taking completely out of context! Twilight didn’t even give me a chance to explain before she blew up at me!”
“Then explain it to me, dear, because from what I heard, you were flirting with this waitress all night.”
Dragging a hoof down your face, you take a deep breath and calm yourself. “I gave her MY number first. She was worried about ruining our night and thought she was going to get fired for it. I didn’t want that and she seemed like a nice filly, so I gave her my number and told me to call me if she has any problems.”
“And how were you going to do that?” Rarity asks with a curious look.
“Well, if she got fired, I figure the least I could do is get her a new job. Gregorie Plat owes me a favor and-”
"Wait, Grego- How do you know the owner of the Grand Gourmet? Nevermind that, how does he owe you a favour?"
“Last stockholder’s meeting I went to for some random company, I forget which,” you say plainly. “I met him there and we hit it off. He invited me over to his restaurant for lunch, but it was way too busy and he was short hoofed, so I offered to help out. I did dishes, carried meals around, took orders, that sort of stuff.”
Rarity nods slowly. “I... See. Sorry, it’s just I didn’t expect-”
“Somepony like me rubbing elbows with the big ponies?” you deadpan.
“Well, um...” she says slowly, shifting nervously in her seat.
“It’s alright, I get that a lot.”
“Alright then...” Rarity says as she regains her composure. “Please, continue.”
“So, yeah... I gave her my number and she was really grateful and I guess she gave me her number, too.”
“Okay, I think see what’s going on here. But first, let me ask you something: Why were you saying all of those things to Jubilee? I mean, you just met her. Why were you flirting with her?”
You open your mouth to say something, but simply shake your head. “I really don’t know what you mean.”
Rarity gives you a tired look before talking a deep breath. “Okay, better example; why did you call me sweetheart at the door? What compelled you to flirt with me?”
“Listen, I don’t know what you mean! I wasn’t flirting!”
“Then what were you doing?” she asks as she leans forward a bit.
“I was just being nice,” you say plainly. “I’ve always been told that you should always be nice to a lady and call them nice things.”
Rarity furrows her brow before scooting a little closer to you. “Now who told you that? I mean, you’re not wrong, but I’m just curious.”
“My dad,” you say with a shrug. “He may have been a bastard at times, but he wasn’t all bad. Taught me a lot of things growing up. Like, ‘never piss in a forward wind’ and ‘always have a pitcher of water in the fridge if you go out drinking’ and “Never go anywhere without letting someone know where-”
“I get the idea,” Rarity cuts you off midsentence. “And I think I see what’s going on here.”
Getting to her hooves, she begins to pace across the floor in front of you. “The problem I see is that while you think you’re being nice, you’ve been damaging your relationship with Twilight. Let me ask you; how many times have you said things like that with Twilight around? And they were directed at her?”
You blink a few times as you think back. “Well... Maybe a few.”
“Now, follow me on this one,” Rarity says as she takes a step forward. “How would you feel if Twilight started calling a random stallion ‘sweetheart’ or ‘darling’ or some other little quip?”
Shifting nervously in your seat, you see where this conversation was going. “Well...”
“You’d be pretty upset, wouldn’t you? She was supposed to save those words for you and she’s using them on someone neither of you know. You’d feel betrayed. Just like Twilight.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, you hang your head. “So you’re basically saying this is my fault.”
“Oh no, no, no!” Rarity says as she rushes forward. “Don’t blame yourself! You thought there was nothing wrong with it and it’s alright to say a nice thing here and there, but you went a little...”
“Overboard?”
Rarity nods thoughtfully. “Yes. You got a little flirty, but you didn’t even know it, so don’t blame yourself. This whole fight is just one big misunderstanding.”
“Then what do we do?” you ask desperately. “I don’t wanna be like this and I certainly don’t want a kid to grow up without a dad, like I did.”
“It’s not going to come to that, I assure you,” she says as she puts a hoof on your shoulder. “All you need to do is talk to her.”
You shake your head. “I don’t-”
“If you don’t you’re not going to get anywhere.”
Looking to Rarity, you see the sincerity in her eyes and nod slowly. “...Alright. I’ll talk with her.”
A smile forms on her face as she pats your shoulder. “See? We’re making progress here.”
You smile weakly as you get to your hooves. “Yeah... Hey, do you want anything to drink?”
Rarity shakes her head quickly. “Oh, no, it’s far too early for alco-”
“I meant like water, coffee, milk?”
“Oh. Well... Sure. Coffee would be nice, actually. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.”
You give Rarity a nod before making your way to the kitchen, feeling a little bit better as you scan the cabinet
“Hmm... Coffee... Coffee... Ah! Here we are!” you say as you grab the canister of coffee grinds. Pulling the top off, your nose fills with the smell of fresh ground coffee, bringing you back to the hotel room.
Whoa, check it out! The room has its own coffee pot and grinds! Want a cup, Twi’?
Yeah, sure... Coffee sounds AWESOME right now. Then maybe you and I can curl up with a good book.
Sounds like a plan, cuddle-butt.
Oh quiet you! Don’t make me come over there!
Don’t hide it, you love it! You’re blushing! You’re-
“Are you okay?”
You turn to Rarity in surprise. “What?”
“I asked if you were okay. You’re crying again.”
You wipe at your face before shaking your head. “No... No... It’s just that everything is-”
“Reminding you of her?” Rarity asks with a sigh. “That’s usually how heartbreak works... Why don’t you take your time? You don’t-”
“No, no. You’re right, I gotta talk with her. And the sooner the better.”
Making your way to the front door, you hear Rarity call out. “Wait dear! It would be wise to take your time!”
You ignore her and break into a full gallop as you set your sights on the large tree a certain purple unicorn called ‘home’.
I’m going to make this right.
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Pounding on the door for the what feels like the eighth time, you start to think that she was either avoiding you, or not at home.
Rarity said she was home...
Circling around the house, you look around for any sort of sign that she was in there. That’s when you saw the curtain to what looked like Twilight’s room shut quickly.
“Twilight?”
There was no answer, so you called out louder.
“Twilight!? Come on, I just wanna talk!”
Slowly, the curtain opens just hair and you can make out an eye looking down at you.
“Twi’! Come on, please! Just lemme in! I wanna talk!”
Finally, a familiar voice speaks up.
“Go away!”
Your heart sinks a bit at the words. “Why!? All I wanna do is talk! I’m sorry!”
Twilight is silent for the longest time, but finally speaks up. “I’m busy! Come back later!”
You throw your hooves up in anger. “Why? I wanna do this now! I’m tired of lying around hoping for things to get better!”
“You’re just gonna have to wait!” Twilight cries as she sticks her head out the window. “I’m busy right now, so just go away!”
“No!” you yell in frustration. “I’m not leaving! I wanna make this right! And if-”
“Excuse me,” a timid voice said from behind, breaking your concentration.
Turning around, you found yourself face to face with a yellow pegasus who’s face hid behind a pink mane. “Um, maybe... Maybe-” she stops herself and takes a deep breath. “You should leave Twilight alone.”
“Hi... Fluttershy, right? Listen , I’m-”
“I remember you,” she says much more loudly this time. “You’re the one who made my friend cry.”
“Yes, I did, but-”
“And while it’s nice that you want to apologize, it sounds like Twilight isn’t interested.” She pauses, takes another deep breath, and her gaze hardens. “So I think you should leave.”
“Now wait a minute,” you say with growing irritation. “I haven’t even had a chance to talk to her since-”
“Since you broke her heart?” Her very words make you visibly flinch and your stomach sink into your hooves.
“...But I-I just-”
“Now you listen here, buster,” Fluttershy says as she glares down at you. “If you have any respect left for Twilight, you’re going to leave her alone.”
You could feel your eyes tear up again. “I just want to make things better,” you say above a whisper.
Fluttershy’s face softens a bit. “I know... But maybe Twilight doesn’t want to. I’m sorry.”
With a sniffle, you hang your head as you make your back home. “...Fine. If she doesn’t want to see me, then fine. At least I tried.”
You hear Fluttershy say something to you as you walk away, but you don’t hear it, nor do you care.
Fuck it. Just fuck it all. I’m going to bed.
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You crawl into bed carefully, making sure the glass bong you carried in your mouth didn’t spill or break. Finally settling down, you cradle the bong in your lap. Making sure the clover was packed in tightly, you bring the lighter up to it as you put your lips to it. Taking a deep breath, you feel your lungs start to burn, but you hold it,
One... Two... Three.
On three, you take your lips off of the bong and exhale the smoke, leaving you light headed and slightly buzzed. Falling back onto the bed, you set the bong on the ground and lay flat on the bed as the clover starts to work on your system.
“All I need...” you say with a chuckle. “All I need...”
You start to close your eyes as everything goes hazy and it feels like you’re melting into the bed.
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Your eyes slowly open and you smile widely as you get to your hooves. “Feel like a million-WHOA!”
You flail around helplessly as you slowly drift up into the air, only to settle back down on an alien landscape that looked like a completely flat desert that stretched on for miles and miles.
“Well... This is new,” you say aloud as you survey your surroundings. Kicking at the ground, you stir up a cloud of sand that floated about idly, only to have it settle back down to the desert floor.
“Now what?” you ask idly as you look up at the starless sky, devoid of anything, even the sun.
As if to answer your question, a shining light on the horizon beckons you, the only thing for miles.
“Well that’s nifty...” With a heavy sigh, you focus on the light, figuring that it had to be at least a couple miles away. “A wise pony once said that a journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step...”
Taking a step forward, you feel like your whole body was engulfed in molasses and stuck to you as you tried your best to move.
Gritting your teeth, you concentrate. “You... Put... One hoof in front... Of the other...” you grunt aloud as you start to move with more confidence. “And soon you’ll be walking across the floor... Put one hoof in front of the other...” You start to smile a bit as walking across this desert becomes easier and easier. “And soon you’ll be walking out the door!”
Slowly, with each step you take, it becomes easier as you make your way towards the light until you’re almost galloping towards it.
Why am I running? you ask yourself as your lungs start ache from running. Better question, where the hell am I? And a better question yet, why is everything turning purple?
You slow down a bit and look around as everything starts to gain a purple tint to it. You try to come to a halt, but you’re met with some unknown resistance and you soon find yourself tumbling through the air. Instead of face planting into the ground, you instead to start to tumble through the air, higher and higher.
“How the hell do I steer?!?” you cry as you flail around helplessly. You’re so turned around that you have no idea where up or down was, or even if you were about to hit the ground or floating towards the sky.
Amidst the confusion, you find yourself floating towards the light now, mere inches away from it; a giant floating ball of white light that was as bright as the sun, yet didn’t hurt to look into. As you pass by it, you see a face in the light look to you with a smile.
Reaching a hoof out, you try to touch the face in the light. “Twilight?”
As soon as your hoof makes contact with the ball of light, it bursts like a soap bubble and sends out a cascade of tiny little balls of light that dotted the landscape like stars that you could reach out and touch. One of the lights passes you by and you find yourself dumbstruck as you watch yourself and Twilight in the light snuggle in the hotel bed with big goofy grins on your faces. Again, another light passes you by and in it, you see yourself pushing Twilight up the stairs as she mouths the word “Snakes” over and over again.
“Aren’t you coming?” a familiar voice says from overhead.
Looking up, you find yourself face to face with Twilight Sparkle, giggling as you looked up at her with a stupid look on your face.
“What are you doing up there?” you finally ask.
“A better question would be ‘What are you doing down there?’, sweetheart.”
You don’t know what she means until you watch her move past you, swimming through the air as if it was water, towards what looked like a shining hole in the sky.
“Hey, wait up!” you cry as you flail around helplessly.
In a moment of clarity, you calm down and stop moving for a moment before mimicking Twilight’s swimming motion. It works surprisingly well and it’s then that it dawns on you.
I’m under water.
Shaking the revelation out of your head, you turn your attention back to Twilight, who was now floating idly up to the surface, her hooves splayed out, as if she was welcoming you for an embrace.
“Hold up Twi’!” you call out as you kick your hooves frantically. “Wait for me!”
Twilight doesn’t seem to hear you and continues to float up to the surface, spurring you to swim faster. You put everything into it and you’re a hair away from Twilight as she touches the sky-
Surface, you think as you reach out and grab her. The water’s surface.
You bring your face closer to hers as she starts to pass through sky, surface, whatever it was and touch her lips as you pass through it and-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You almost jump out of bed as something loud bangs against glass, followed by a loud cracking sound. Looking around, you take a deep breath as you get to your hooves.
“Freaky...”
Looking around, you hear your tell tale sound of a skipping record player, getting your attention. Walking over to your record player, you open it up and stop the spinning record before making your way towards your now cracked window.
As you inspect the window, your thoughts turn to back to the dream and chuckle a bit. “No more Hendrix in bed...”
Throwing up the sash and the grabbing a hold of the window, you stick your head out into the dark and look around, only to feel your heart jump into your throat.
“T-Twilight?” you ask hoarsely.
You start to smile, but it slowly starts to disappear as the events from earlier today start to flood back to your memory.
“What do you want?” you ask in irritation.
Twilight looks up to you in desperation. “I need to talk to you!”
You can’t help but burst out into laughter. “Oh, now you want to talk? What happened to ‘I’m busy’ and ‘Go away?’. I tried to talk to you and you turned away and then Fluttershy-”
“Fluttershy shouldn’t of said those things and I really need to talk to you! It’s important!”
You shake your head as you turn away from the window. “I tried and I’m done! I-”
“I had my last pregnancy test and I’m-”
Your eyes widen at the words ‘pregnancy test’ and rush back to the window.
“WhaAHH!”
As you run for the window, you trip on a beer bottle and stumble out of the window and grab the window sill.
“Crap crap crap!” you yell as you struggle to pull yourself back into the house.
“Don’t worry, I got you!” Twilight cries as a purple aura starts to envelop you. Slowly, it tries to pull you off of the window sill, much to your displeasure.
“DON’T! I DON’T WANNA-”
“STOP FLAILING AROUND!” Twilight yells from below. “YOU’RE GONNA-”
You feel the aura around you weaken and give away, leaving you to hit the ground from the second story.
“Oh my gosh!” Twilight cries as she rushes over to you. “Are you-”
Getting to your hooves, you grab a hold of Twilight and look her square in the eyes. “What did the test say? Are you pregnant? Oh dear Celestia and Luna above, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I-”
“Oh gosh, oh gosh, I’m going to be a father,” you say with increasing worry. “Twi’, I know you don’t want you in my life, but please just let me do right by the kid!”
“But I-”
“I’ll make them breakfast and take them to school and we can watch them grow up and go to college-” your eyes widen at the word. “Oh gosh, I gotta set aside money for college! I gotta talk to Trump Card and get a trust fund set up! No son of mine is going to some cheap college, he’s going to the best school in Equestria!”
“That’s nice, but-”
“Wait, what if it’s a girl?” you ask as your heart starts to speed up. “Oh gosh, oh gosh... School dances, prom night, boyfriends- I swear if she brings home some punk with eighteen piercings and a mohawk, I’ll-”
“NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE!” Twilight cries aloud, cutting you off. “I. AM NOT. PREGNANT.”
The words sink in and calm the storm of worries in your head. “W...What?” you ask dumbly.
“I had my last pregnancy test and it was negative,” she says plainly. “I’m not pregnant.”
You let go of Twilight and start to turn around as you make your way back to your house. “Oh... Well... I guess that’s it, then,” you say with a heavy sigh. “I guess now we just go our separate ways and-”
“Wait!” Twilight cries out.
Turning around, you find your breath catch in your throat as Twilight leans forward and kisses you slowly. As she pulls back, you see her smile, despite the fact she’s blinking back tears. “Please don’t go.”
“What-”
You watch as she plops herself down on the ground next to you, on the borderline of tears. “Don’t go, I want to say something,” she says as she motions for you to sit. You feel yourself compelled to sit down next to her and as soon as you get settled, she takes a deep breath. “I realized I didn’t have all the facts...”
With a heavy sigh, Twilight puts a hoof around you and hugs you tightly. “I was mad at you. I wanted to yell at you for everything that happened, but I couldn’t stand to face you after what I did, so the day after we b-b-” she stutters ever so slightly before she takes another deep breath. “Broke up. I went back to the club and confronted the waitress, Jubilee.”
“What did you do?”
“I was going to yell at her, I was going to do make a scene, but the minute she saw me, she just smiled and started going on about how nice you were and understanding despite it all and asked me to thank you for not getting her fired. She said she tried to call you and thank you, but you weren’t picking it up. So... I put two and two together and realized I blew something completely out of proportion. So I-”
“Holed yourself up and cried yourself to sleep?”
Twilight nods as you put a hoof on her shoulder. “I gotta admit, I was in the same spot. I tried to get you out of my head, but... It’s pretty hard when you lose someone as perfect as you. It didn’t help when Rarity helped me figure out I screwed up, too.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asks with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, I’ve been a little... Flirty, I guess, and I didn’t even know it. When I realized what I did, I ran to go see you.”
“When I was in the bathroom,” Twilight says with a heavy blush.
You look to her in shock. “Wait, you were on the toilet?” you ask bashfully. “I thought that was your room.”
Twilight shakes her head. “No, no! That was the bathroom. And I was trying to do the test when you came by and-”
“You got stage fright with me around and got embarrassed,” you say as you slap your forehead.
“Not only that, I was going to see you after I was done, since Rarity convinced me to go talk to you. But when you stormed off and Fluttershy told me what she said, I just sort of freaked out. I started crying again, thinking you’d never want to see me again, but then I realized I’d never know unless I saw you.”
You laugh aloud as you give her a peck on the cheek. “We both dropped the ball this time...”
“You can say that again,” she says with a sigh.
You and Twilight remain quiet for the longest time, until you finally speak up with words you’ve been meaning to say.
“I'm sorry. I promise to save all of my flirting for you if you promise to not to jump to conclusions.”
Twilight nuzzles up to you and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Deal.”
You and Twilight go silent for a while as you look into the night sky.
“You know, I’m not even mad that you told Rarity about my father.”
“What are you talking about?” Twilight asks with a confused look. “I mean, sure she came by and talked, but I never said anything about your father.”
“W-Wait, but I-...She-...” Rarity’s words echo in your ear and you feel yourself laugh aloud.
I only know what she told me.
“Oh, she is good.”
“What?”
You shake your head as you hold Twilight a little bit closer. “Nothing important... Hey Twi’?”
“What?” she asks as she looks up to you.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
Twilight cranes her neck up and plants her lips on yours. “Yeah,” she says as she breaks the kiss. “And I love you too.”
A warm feeling starts to was over you as you sit there with a goofy smile on your face. The smile disappears, however, as your hoof moves down to your side.
“... Hey Twi’?”
“What now?”
“We gotta go to a hospital,” you say as you try get to your hooves.
“Why? I mean, we’re out of the woods pregnancy wise and the results of the blood test won’t be back for-”
“I think I broke a rib or two when I fell,” you say as you touch your side tenderly.
Twilight gets to her hooves quickly. “And you’re just finding this out now? We gotta go to a hospital, now!”
You flinch slightly as Twilight helps you up, grabbing a hold of what felt like a broken rib. “Great idea,” you grunt. “Wish I thought of it.”
“Oh my gosh, what if you need surgery? We gotta-”
“Hey, calm down,” you say with a chuckle. “After what we’ve been through, this is nothing. And as long as you’re here right by side, I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah... But just to be safe, let’s get you there quickly before you pass out,” Twilight says with teasing smile.
You chuckle a bit as she moves to your side, supporting you.
In more ways then one.
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Fluttershy needs to mind her own damn business.
And awesome chapter, glad to see an update!
310412
There's a reason why she did what she did and you'll find out in "By a Fireplace"
For the love of Celestia, thank you.
I know it's made better with all the suspense and drama, but...
...well, I'm just a sucker for happy, heart-warming moments, and I'm glad the bad air between the protagonist and Twi has been cleared up.
Keep 'em comin', I'll keep readin'.
Damn you, GentlemanCreeper.
Damn you and your ability to make it impossible for me not to smile at your stories.
YES.
ALL OF MY INTERNETZ!! I'm so glad this updated, this is so awesome. I love this story!!
Finally. Was getting tired of waiting.
Thank you.
I've had an absolutely crappy day at work and I was looking forward to unwinding with some of the latest installments of stories. Lately, it seems like every fic I was reading would end on some sort of frustrating cliffhanger. It kept happening and I was only getting more and more angry, but then you come along with a nice wrap up of a situation in one of the stories I'm most excited about, and suddenly all the frustration is gone.
Again, thank you.
Yay! another Gentleman Creeper entry. This my second favorite fic from the Creeper/Coffee bean universe. I rank those fics like this.
Top 5
1. Healing Dash
2. Purple Haze
3.Drunken Lullabies
4. My Little Serial Killer
5. Home Coming
Great. Can't wait for the epilogue.
HUZZAH! Thanks for the next chapter! I mean, hardly ANYONE was updating today! xD
Thanks for letting today end on a good note! :3
Hurrah for the Doors song!!
Finally an update!
I love the direction this is going in. Financial problems next I predict. Can't wait for the next update! 
to tell the truth I was kinda hopeing she was pregnant
310425
Looking forward to it!
Wow, Rarity really is good!, and I love this story, why I first found it and read the description, I thought this was some lame pot story and a troll fic, But I was dead wrong, this is fantastic!
Loved this, yay for happy endings
Is anyone else kinda disappointed they're not gonna have the kid now? Then again there is the epilogue, can't wait
Singing the check
OH CHECKO MIO!
“And I expect the next pancake dinner I attend to taste like like two thousand bits!”
Double like all the way across the threshold!
Twilight cries as a purple aura starts to envelop you.
Isn't it more of a red?
You and Twilight remain quiet for the longest time, until you finally speak up with words you’ve
The words I've? NOOOOO I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT I DID!
And everything worked out in the end. I'd like to think there's a lesson here; relationships have difficulties. And relationships aren't based on worth through how few difficulties they have; it's how well the couple can get through it.
Great chapter.
Heh, nothing quite as suicidal as the self-loathing of a grown man.
You did a fantastic job here, as usual. I can't help but feel deeply impressed time and again by the way you handle emotions. The fact that you write this in your trademark "YOU"-style just hammers the point home even more.
Simply amazing.
I just realized something. I think Rarity has been taking lessons in psychology from Fritz with what she did in this chapter. IT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION!
311606
Thanks... I kinda rushed this chapter and didn't get the proofreading I would have liked. Fixing now.
311655
Danke Crowley. Epilogue should be up soon. ^.^
312641
*insert dramatic noise here* IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!
i just got on the computer right now(i wasn't in the computer friday, saturday or sunday) and saw this and my mind exploded with ponies
This is the first time I cried out loud cuz of a fic and I feel sad now but glad it worked out in the end
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130909132701/ben10fanfiction/images/thumb/0/0f/Epic_Facepalm.png/463px-Epic_Facepalm.png
Okay you got me.... I almost cried.
And by almost I mean another 20 seconds and it would have been full blown tears.
HNNNNGGG
PROBS THE BEST CHAPTER YET
Okay maybe tied with the one where Pinkie and RD got high buuuut...
Im pretty sure this one takes the cake
okay... no
he didn't drop the ball, to be frank he didn't even have the idiot ball approach him at the end there... fluttershy dropped the ball, and dribbled it, repeatedly, enough to make every professional basketball player who's ever lived nervous. no i'm sorry but in that final instance the idiot ball is most assuredly on fluttershy and it really should have been covered better, to be specific, someone, possibly rarity as she seems to have placed herself at the center of importance here, needed to chew fluttershy out, i know saying that well lead to probable backlash and down votes on this comment and whatever else but this is the fact, karma demanded fluttershy receive some form of severe retribution here.