• Published 10th Jun 2014
  • 2,058 Views, 72 Comments

Blood, Meth, and Tears - Hot Blooded Hero



A man wakes up near the Crystal Empire, and he plans to build himself a crystal empire.

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Need a Light?

The door to a house in the outer-suburban area of the Crystal Empire opened up to a couple of ponies followed by a middle-aged human. Spelunker walked inside carrying some equipment that Walter assumed was from his job and made a showy motion with his hoof to welcome Walt into the house. "This is our lovely home, and remember that you can stay for as long as you'd like. Someone in your position deserves a bit of hospitality, and we're prepared to give it to you."

Walt noticed that the doorway just barely cleared his head as he walked in before he tried to once again dissuade his new friends' notions. "Listen, I appreciate what you're doing here, but I'm perfectly capable of finding my own place to sleep. I'm sure I could have found a hotel or something." He closed the door behind him.

Spelunker chuckled and put down his equipment off to the side. "And pay with what? Those slips of pocket lint you kept in your wallet?" He gave Walt a look. "Hey, no offense, but your money's no good here, or anywhere even remotely close for that matter. Just sit tight and we'll take care of ya 'til you get back on your feet. I mean, even though you should be six feet under by now, heh." He then looked up in thought. "Does that make you a zombie?"

Sally stopped that train of thought before it had a chance to derail. "What my husband means is that you don't have anywhere to go to right now, so you might as well stay with us while you figure something out."

Walt put a hand to his head and tried to come up with a way to put down their sound logic. For some reason, he couldn't stand the thought of relying on another's help. "Well... What about those princesses you told me about? The ones down South?"

Spelunker scoffed. "Please! They've already got enough on their hooves with the complete eradication of that 'Crystal' stuff that's been going around. They probably don't have the time to deal with more magical weirdness going on."

Sally patted Walt on the arm. "Really, Walt. It's no trouble, we promise. You stay here as long as you need to, alright?"

Spelunker interrupted from the kitchen. "Alright! I don't know about you two, but I'm starving. How about I grill up some wheat dogs?" He poked his head into the living-room from the kitchen. "Walt, you're okay with fake meat, right?"

Walter's mind was still frozen on one word from earlier. "...'Crystal'? What's this... 'Crystal'?"

Spelunker was confused for a second before the thought was renewed. "Oh, that? Ah, it's just some stimulant substance... thing that's been going around. Trust me, you do not want any part of that. The things they say they do to ponies makes me wish I hadn't read the news last week. So, how about those wheat dogs?"

Walt sat down on the living-room couch and absentmindedly said, "Uh, yeah. Sure," then lost himself in his own thoughts.

Then his own thoughts seemed to turn on him. They were almost random and incomprehensible. Equations and information he didn't know just came to him, and he didn't know what to make of it. There were bits and pieces he started to put together, and as he did, he realized something:

Knowing what they meant felt really good.

He snapped out of his trance when a blue hoof was waved in front of his face. "Hellooooo, Earth to Walt? Wheat dogs are done." Spelunker followed what his eyes seemed to be staring at. "Sheesh, I know they say TV rots your brain, but you gotta turn it on first. Did you really just stare at a black screen for a whole hour?"

Walt shook his head and looked to the stallion. "An hour? Wait, TV?"

Indeed, in front of him was a Pony brand standard resolution television. Walt furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. How did they have television before cars?

Walt felt a plate placed on his lap and a pat on his shoulder. "Eat up, bud. You've gotta be starving by now too, huh?" He went to get a plate for himself.

Sally sat down with her own food. "He's right, Walt. You were unconscious for hours. You should probably get something in your system."

On the plate were surprisingly authentic looking hot dogs with the works. Walt picked one up and said, "Alright. Thanks, Hank."

The ponies paused, but Walt froze. Spelunker questioned, "Who's Hank?"

Walt sputtered and spat out, "Someone I... knew. From before I died."

Sally gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was he family? A friend?"

Walt quickly responded in the negative. "Oh, no, no. He was like a... character. Fictional. He was a fictional character. Spelunker just, kind of... reminds me of him. It's no big deal." He took a bite out of his dog. "Mmm! These are delicious! Thank you, Spelunker."

Both ponies looked to each other and shrugged.


Lightning Dust hesitated at her parents' new doorstep. The stuff around it seemed so... lame! There was a flag with sunflowers in a pot hanging to the left of the doorway, and the knocker on the door was a mouse hanging by its tail. She was also sure she spotted a garden gnome in the front-lawn on her way in! She was starting to regret coming in the first place. Why was she here again?

She looked down that the envelope she held. Right. Cash. Cash was very important to the economy nowadays. Her parents had some, so it would only be right to take what they offer and spend it to support said economy, which happened to, in turn, support herself. This was totally for a good cause.

She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and hesitantly raised her hoof to knock when the door opened itself. Standing behind it were two older and very surprised looking ponies. Both had bags packed and appeared to be leaving on a trip, but dropped both and opened their forelegs with an exclamation of "Dusty!"

Lightning Dust found herself being smothered by the ponies she felt obliged to love the most. "Yo, Mom and Dad. Look, I was just-"

She was cut off by her enthusiastic mom's voice. "Ooh, you must come in and see the new place!"

"And tell us how well you've been doing with the Wonderbolts!" her father added.

Lightning awkwardly chuckled as she was brought in. "Heh, yeeeaaaaah... It actually seemed like you were going somewhere, so-"

"Oh, our trip can wait for our little Dusty!" her mother interrupted as the door closed.

"Mooooom!"


"...And this is your room! Kept it just the way you left it!" her dad announced as she stepped in, and as she noticed, it wasn't much of an exaggeration. All of her old things, her posters, records, and bed, were set-up as they were when she left... back in Cloudsdale.

"Uh, wow. You kept everything the same. Even though, you know, you moved." She had a bit of a hard time realizing just how much her parents really missed her.

"Well, we just wanted to make sure you had a warm welcome if you ever decided to come home, honey," her mother said.

"Yeah, I get that, but..." She sighed. "Listen, you really looked like you were about to head off somewhere."

Her mom put a hoof on her shoulder. "Dusty, our trip can wait. You just got here! We'd love to here about your progress in becoming a-"

"I didn't get in, alright?!"

Her parents were shocked. "What?"

"I couldn't pass the stupid history test they had." Lightning snapped. "I also got kicked out of the apartment for... breaking policy. Also, I'm broke." She sighed. "What I mean to say is that I... was hoping to stay here for a while, and that if you'll have me, then I'll still be here when you get back. I could watch over the house while you're gone! Y'know, feed the cat and sh... stuff."

Both parents silently hugged her, and Lightning squashed that indignant feeling for their pity. Her father said softly. "Dusty, you can stay for as long as you'd like. If you truly feel like you need to be by yourself for awhile, then we'll leave on our trip. I guess we have been planning this trip to Las Pegasus for some time now, right, sweetie?" He turned to his wife.

Lightning's mother nodded hesitantly. "I suppose so. You've been gone for so long, but I guess we could wait a little longer."

Lightning shook her head. "Whoa, wait, I didn't mean it like that! I just-"

Her father raised a hoof to quiet her. "We understand perfectly, Dusty. Just relax and take a few days to yourself here while we do the same elsewhere. It's not a big deal." He gave her a small smile. "We do actually need this vacation as well, so enjoy the new house to yourself while you can." He turned to leave the room and said as he left, "Also, there is no cat to feed anymore."

"Aw, no, not Sparky! He was such a badass cat!"


Lightning stepped outside and wished her parents goodbye as they got in their taxi to leave. They had left her enough money for a few days on the counter, and there was leftover hay-casserole in the fridge. She guessed that she had to eat the casserole, because she definitely planned to use the money for something else. As the taxi left her sights, she pulled out a carton of Mareboros and picked one out. Putting it away, she realized she forgot to buy matches earlier and muttered a curse.

"Need a light?"

Lightning didn't quite jump at the voice, but she certainly did at the sight of the source. Tall, Bipedal, and Furless-with-Clothes was standing in the yard of the house next door. She immediately voiced her curiousness. "What the hell are you?"

"Species is human. Name's Walter White." He pulled out a matchbook. "Need a light?"

Lightning gave him a scrutinizing glance before shrugging. "Sure."

He struck a match and lit the cigarette as she puffed. She then pulled out another Mareboro and offered it to Walt. He pursed his own lips in thought before shrugging himself and taking the offer. He lit it himself and tried to pull on it.

Lightning noticed his struggle and lightly facehoofed. "Don't suck, inhale. Breathe it in naturally." He did so and started coughing violently. Lightning groaned. "Is that your first smoke, dude? I know you're a different species, but even those wrinkles tell me that you're like, what, 60?"

Walt looked back annoyed. "I'm 50." It probably, technically wasn't a lie.

Lightning turned away aloofly. "Whatever, dude."

Walt glanced at the house of the lawn she was in. "So what's a mare like you doing in a house like that."

She looked back to him heatedly. "And what's that supposed to mean, exactly?"

He just shrugged.

Lightning stared him down for a few silent seconds before saying, "I'm staying with my parents."

There was more silence besides the sounds of suburbia surrounding them before Walt asked, "What's your name?"

Without facing him, she said, "Why should I tell you?"

"Well, excuse me for thinking that it was common courtesy to tell someone their name after they've already given you theirs."

"...Lightning Dust."

Both wordlessly smoked their cigarettes until Lightning finished hers. She flicked the butt onto the sidewalk in front of her lawn and turned to head back into her house. "Later, bitch."

Walt's eyebrows rose slightly, and he watched her leave. He immediately dismissed the thought as her door shut, and dropped his own butt before squishing it out.

Author's Note:

In this chapter, I had to debate with either letting drugs be a thing in Equestria or whether Walt starts the entire drug-trade. I felt like if I tried to give Walt the entire drug-trade from the start, then there would be no real motive as meth isn't proven to make a lot of money there, and it would also scrap the meaning of his 'rise to power' theme. Television is also inevitable, even in canon, with the way that their technological progress is heading. I mean, the way I see it, MLP's technological progress runs completely on convenience, and TV's are convenient to me. At some point, they'll have to be convenient for the show's writers as well.

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