A man wakes up near the Crystal Empire, and he plans to build himself a crystal empire.
A man who spent his life feeling cheated from his earnings dies in a police chase in New Mexico. He wakes up near a city of crystal with his hair replaced by a genius intellect and a want to use it.
A story created as a deconstruction of LOHAV stories as well as looking at the only way to write a legitimate Breaking Bad crossover without writing a complete fusion fic. Warning: May contain major Breaking Bad spoilers.
Creatures of sapience are curious beings. Our minds instinctively force us to think within boundaries and labels, and yet we tell ourselves that labeling other people as if they were objects with strict characteristics is wrong. Prejudice is an evolutionary trait, originally one used primitively to prejudge either predator or prey. Maybe we try to forego such notions as we are knowledgeable to them already, but then wouldn't that be prejudice in itself? Where does our moral compass come from anyway? It's certain to everyone that it differs with every person. You'd be hard-pressed to find two people who agree exactly at where they cross the moral standards without lying to you and the other person. Some people try to justify their actions as moral to other people in an attempt to justify it to themselves.
Darren Whitaker knew that what he was doing seemed wrong to other people, and maybe a little bit to himself, but he had what he would say is a very good reason for racing away from the police in a car that currently belonged to the city.
He'd say that it was his house.
The city tried to tow his residence off of a time-limited public parking lot after he had slept away seven hours out of his allotted 15-minute time slot. He immediately tried to drive away, and ended up speeding down the local freeway through red-lights in a panic. A few sirens and 8 minutes of resisting arrest later led him down the back-roads of the New Mexico desert in a car without working headlights.
Darren didn't expect this situation to come up as he was handed his high school diploma, nor when he applied for his first full-time, non-Summer job. It might have come up in passing during those anti-drug assemblies, though. He regretted ever taking those pills from the medicine cabinet. It only made him vomit.
At this point, it's very clear that somehow, something in his promising life went horribly wrong to lead to this scenario.
He knew he hadn't done anything wrong. He was a participator in his community, a good contribution to society. He didn't blame his family. He couldn't imagine anyone who would. They loved and provided for him as best they could before their own... problems kicked in.
He couldn't blame a single person for this. This moment wasn't any one person's fault. However, that didn't stop him from blaming everybody else.
It was then that his car hit a significant dip in the road, causing it to swerve and spin out before rolling over several times.
The identity known as Darren died that day. The individual that used to have it awoke with a start and sat upright in an unfamiliar cave. The cave was obviously dark as well as damp, and his headache certainly didn't help his vision much. The man raised his hand to run it through his hair only to discover that it was gone. His hair, not his hand. That would have been much more horrifying. Both hands moved to grasp his now-bald head and also found a pair of eyeglasses on his face. The man never had any problems with his sight as far as he could remember.
Remember... What did he do last night? Now that he thought about it, this could have been the work of some local douche-bags pulling one over him. He searched his pockets for any sign of robbery and found some matches and what he thought was his wallet. After fumbling to open the matchbox and striking one lit, he found a surprising amount of cash he didn't have before in the wallet, and wondered if it was even his. He instantly found a driver's license, and found himself laughing loudly.
"Hoh my god, they actually make things like this!" the man exclaimed with humor in his voice. The driver's license was a New Mexico license, but everything else was very much different from his own. What made him laugh was the information and the photo used for the profile.
"Walter Hartwell White, heheh. I am the one who knocks!"
Wait a second...
"...I am the one who KNOCKS!"
That didn't sound right. It was too perfect.
The man felt his face again and immediately found what he was looking for.
A beard existed where it didn't before.
Confusion settled into the man's mind, and he pondered on it. As he pondered, he remembered what happened last night.
His confusion turned into panic, and he began breathing heavily.
He then had a coughing fit. It was painful.
His panic dropped from his mind into his stomach like a sandbag.
Walter White grasped his head and tried grab at hair that wasn't there. He shut his eyes as his mind repeated the mantra, 'This isn't real. This can't be real,' several times. He gasped for air, not realizing that he had been holding his breath, and let out a cry. His cry then became a yell. His yell became a scream. His scream became a roar. His roar sputtered into coughs. His coughs turned into cries again. His cries died down to whimpers. He curled-up into a ball on the cave floor as he stewed in his despair and self-reflection. He shook and shuddered as the adrenaline left him, and he became well-aware of the coldness of his environment.
He remembered how he used to feel like he couldn't go any lower than he already was. That feeling returned with a vengeance. Throughout his entire life, he always followed the rules that were set before him, and never strayed from the boundaries that society had in place. He always played it safe, and it lead him to poverty. In the end, a desperate move got him killed.
It suddenly seemed a bit less random that he woke up the way he was.
This thought process was interrupted by a bright light shining in his face. He instinctively squinted and brought his hand up to keep the glare out of his eyes.
"Uh, ahem. 'S-scuse me, uhm, sir? Are you... alright?"
The voice was male and filled with uncertainty. White replied with a raspy, "Yes."
The voice seemed a bit more relieved with its reply of, "Do you need any help?" He was probably hoping White wouldn't be some crazy hobo. Coherent responses were generally a good sign.
White realized that he kept on thinking of himself as White and resolved to look into that later. "Uh, ye-" He tried to swallow, but his throat was dry, which led to more painful coughs. He raised his hand to let the other know that he was fine, took a deep breath, and finished with, "Yes, that would be appreciated, thank you."
The other seemed a bit more cheery in his response this time around. Politeness can go a long way. "No problem, buddy. I heard you screaming from outside and thought you needed help. We aren't that far from the entrance, Mr..."
White froze at this and had a mini-identity crisis in his head. He took a long look at the wallet still on the ground and sighed deeply. "It's... White. Walter... Walter Hartwell White."
Only seconds later did he realize how stupid he was to say that.
But there was no laughter from the voice. The other simply put down his light source and pulled out what looked like a mirror from it. The light dimmed considerably and lit the entire room rather than a single direction. The light source was revealed to be something like a propane lantern, only without a tank. Walter stared at it, seemingly fascinated by the device and where the fuel was coming from. His musing was broken by the male voice, but as he turned to face the figure, he completely forgot what the voice said.
In front of him was a big-eyed, blue horse. Sky-blue to be exact, with a navy-blue mane. It was also wearing a green vest that had pockets in an odd position, to humans anyway, given that they were horizontal and on his sides. It also had its front hoof stretched out towards him in a way that looked like it would break any regular horse's hoof. Its face was also full of human expression, and he could notice its dying smile replaced with concern as he stared at this creature who looked, for lack of a better word, 'cute'.
Considering that he had died last night and was now Walter White, his shock towards it was marginally dulled. He considered the possibility of a hallucination or a dream, but the fact that he possessed the mental capacity to question it banished that theory.
The horse was now very concerned and its mouth moved for at least two seconds. Walter stared for two more seconds before blinking. "Huh?"
The horse put its... his hoof down. "I said, 'My name is Spelunker'. Are you sure that you're okay, Mr. White?"
Walter was silent as he noticed how tired he was. "Yes, I am. I just... need a nap..."
"Phenylacetone... organic chemical compound substance... comprised of nine Carbon molecules... ten Hydrogen... and an Oxygen... Chemical formula of... C-six-H-five-C-H-two-C-O-C-H-three... Can be... artificially produced with phenylacetic and acetic acids with a thorium dioxide catalyst andwhenusedwithmethylamineinareductionaminationprocessitproduces-"
Walter awoke with a gasp before deteriorating into coughs for the third time that day. The sunlight from the curtain-less window shined in his face like the lantern from before he passed out, reminding him of what was happening. He let out a deep breath and rubbed his face, noticing his glasses weren't there. Looking around, he noticed he was no longer in a cave of any sort, but a hospital room with an IV in his arm and a heart monitor connected to his chest. He was wearing a hospital gown, and his clothes (which he now noticed weren't even his) were on a chair beside his bedside table. On the table were his glasses and a glass of water.
He put on the glasses before picking up the glass and hesitantly sipping it. The second the cool water reached his tongue, he immediately tried to down it in one gulp, succeeding only in getting most of it on himself and starting a much more intense coughing fit, causing his heart-rate to beep faster.
Fortunately, a nurse happened to be opening the door to check up on him and noticed his condition. She raced to the bed at his aid with a "Sir! Are you alright? Please, take deep breaths and calm down."
Walt started to, but it led to more coughing, so he decided to let it ride out as the nurse attempted to comfort him with small pats on the back. The nurse then noticed the empty glass on his bed and the spill it made. She glanced to the clipboard next to his bed and got his name.
"Mr. White, I understand that you might be thirsty, but you need to limit yourself. Those coughs don't sound too good, and while they could be due to the state we found you in, the doctor may still need to perform a scan on you once he returns." She picked up the glass and moved to the bathroom to refill it.
Walt's hacks eventually left him as the nurse returned with the glass. He looked to the kind nurse to tha-
Oh. Here was another one. For some reason, it was obvious this one was female. She was pink, and somehow a transparent crystalline, which boggled White.
'You've already been through this last night,' said his logic. 'Whatever they are, they are kind and willing to help someone like you.'
'But she's shiny! How is she doing that?!' exclaimed his curiosity. 'Her eyes aren't gems, so she can't be a mineral-based life form. Is it an illusion?'
'Focus. You can study their physiology later. For now, we need to piece together our situation.'
Right. He had been staring blankly at these kind creatures for too long. He grabbed the glass with a nod and a small "Thank you" before taking smaller gulps as she had suggested.
The nurse made sure he wouldn't drink himself into another fit, then turned to leave.
"Wait."
She turned back. "Yes?"
Walt had his mouth open slightly, a question on the tip of his tongue, but realized that asking this nurse, who most likely isn't that much in the know about his situation and might not even care, would be incredibly rude. Instead, he asked a different question. "Is..." His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember something. "Spelunker here?"
The nurse's face brightened with recognition. "That's right! My husband was the one who found you! You wish to speak with him?"
White nodded. It seemed more appropriate to ask the one who found him than a nurse who was only making sure his well-being was well. Although, it was an odd coincidence that she happened to be his spouse.
After she left the room, Walt put thought into the position he found himself in.
Sapient horses. Sapient, English-speaking horses. A true oddity if he'd ever known one, but oddity is known from perspective. Could he be an oddity to them? Were they so trusting as to give assistance to such a strange and possibly hostile creature?
Well, he supposed the appearance of being cute wasn't without some form of naivete and innocence. Maybe it's an evolutionary trait.
The door opened again and in stepped the blue horse from the cave and the nurse. A smile that Spelunker already had on his face widened at the sight of him. "Hey, Walt! You're okay! I can call you 'Walt', right?"
Walt nodded. "Sure."
The stallion gave the man a once-over. "Well, you're certainly looking better than how I found you last night. What were you doing down there?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked a bit. "Actually, heh, a bigger question might be 'What are you?'"
At that, the nurse gave him a sharp nudge and a pointed look, eliciting an "Ouch! I was kidding!" out of her husband. "I'm sorry, Mr. White. He sometimes forgets to filter his words."
Walt chuckled. "Hey, I didn't expect a comedy routine to come with my treatment, so it's welcome."
Spelunker smiled slyly. "Well, they always said my wit was sharper than my looks, but I say that's impossible." He put a hoof around the nurse's shoulders. "I mean, how do you think I managed to snag this beauty right here?"
The nurse rolled her eyes. "You begged, like the puppy you are."
The stallion looked her in the eyes. "Am I an adorable puppy?"
Walt 'ahem'ed, and both blushed and pulled their hooves to themselves like some middle-schoolers caught in the hallway. Walt turned to the nurse. "You know, I never got you're name."
"It's Saline Solution, but most call me Sally," she said.
Walter hummed in confusion. "I thought 'Spelunker' was a nickname. I didn't think that all your names were based on what you would do."
Sally shrugged. "Cutie marks are generally genetic. Both of my parents worked in a medical field in some form or another. It only makes sense that I'd have a name centered around medical work. Or like Spelunker here, who's parents had different careers in exploring and geology, named him after both. Now he goes looking around caves for different rocks."
Spelunker huffed. "They're minerals, not rocks. Sheesh, Sally."
Both of them seemed moderately surprised, but not entirely shocked. Sally then explained the basic concept, and Walter scoffed.
"Oh what, like magic?"
That got them both shocked. No one ever didn't know about magic. Not even the griffons. It was like knowing what basic colors were. Saying you didn't believe in magic was like saying you don't believe the color blue exists. Well, unless you were getting philosophical, and there are some nutjobs and douchebags who say the same about magic.
Spelunker was the first to break his shock. "Sheesh, did you live in that cave- Ow!" He rubbed the spot where Sally hit him, a bit miffed that it was the same spot as before.
Walt seemed to get the message though, and the moderate surprise that the other two had before was now on his face. Magical, sapient, English-speaking horses. They may get weirder by the minute, but at least they weren't getting worse. "Okay, sure. Yeah, I can deal with magic being a thing. Now, I think we're getting off-track. I wanted to ask Spelunker, but I guess you have about as much to do with this as him, Sally. First things first, where am I?"
Confusion was shared among the both of them. It seemed weird how synchronized their expressions were. Spelunker gave a courtesy cough before continuing. "Well, that depends on what you mean by 'where', because if you really were living in that cave, then I'd answer that you're in the capital city of the Crystal Empire, located within the continent of Equestria. Otherwise, if it weren't too obvious by now, we're in a hospital- Ow! Sheesh, Sally, could you stop hitting me there?! I think you bruised me already!"
"Then stop talking to him like an idiot!" Sally snapped. "He's obviously lost and an incredible ways away from home. Again, I'm terribly sorry for my husband's behavior, Mr. White. I-"
Walt raised a hand and motioned her to calm down. "Hey, hey, it's alright. It's perfectly understandable. I'm sure that anyone coming here would've known where they were going to, but I'm just a special case. It's fine, I promise. In fact, I think how I ended up here might be the weirdest thing that's happened to me today."
"So you ended up in that cave by accident? What happened?"
"Well, heh, the strangest thing, actually." Walter absentmindedly scratched his bald head. "I sort of... died."
The silence wasn't quite awkward, nor was it stunned or shocked, but an odd bastardization of the three.
Walt simply replied, "Yes, I died. In a car crash. Anymore questions?"
Spelunker actually raised his hoof. "What's a car?"
Sally sighed.
Lightning Dust fiddled around with the complimentary pin they'd given her after she flunked the history test. She was sure she'd had it in the bag! How was she supposed to know that Commander Whatshisname created the So-and-So division for some stuffy nth century nobles?! It was literally impossible for her to remember all that book stuff! Wasn't she already fast enough for their team anyway? Heck, she was faster than most of them! She didn't need no national flying team telling her she wasn't good enough! She was her own mare.
There was a knock on her front door.
Yeah, she didn't need anyone! She'd start her own flying business. Anything to do with speed. Didn't matter what they did, as long as there was flying and speed.
There was another knock on her front door.
"Ugh." Lightning Dust threw the pin across the room and into the trash bin. She pumped her hoof unenthusiastically and deadpanned, "Two points."
There was a third knock on her front door.
Lightning Dust propped herself up from the couch she was laying on and called out, "Door's unlocked, bitch!"
The door opened with a slam, and a pony wearing a business suit accompanied by two bulkier ponies entered her abode. The business pony glanced around before telling the other two, "Alright, just take it all."
As the two moving ponies started moving some of the heavier furniture, Lightning rushed off the couch and tried to stop them from taking anything. "Whoa, whoa! Hey, what're you doing?! That's my stuff!"
The business pony replied for them. "Yes, and it still is. This apartment, however, has rent long overdue. We've sent you several warnings, and you've failed to pay then. We've sent you several eviction notices, and you've failed to comply. You're leaving today."
Lightning Dust looked at him like he just spoke Neighponese. "What? I don't remember any..."
The suited pony pointed to a box by the door with a slot to the outside. It was stuffed and overflowing with red envelopes and white ones with red letters stamped on them.
Lightning sputtered and said, "Aw, c'mon! You don't expect me to actually check my mail, do you?"
The other pony simply replied, "We'll have a storage locker filled with your things. You can retrieve them after you pay the storage fee at our main office."
Defiant rage crossed Lightning's face. "Oh, really?! You're gonna kick me out?! Huh, bitch?! Well, guess what! You can try, 'cuz I ain't going nowhere!" She emphasized her point by sitting on the floor where she stood.
Lightning sat just outside the gated entrance to her apartment complex holding only several letters that weren't from her landlord's office. She turned back and yelled, "You know what? Fine! The building smelled like rat piss!" She almost started off but turned again to add, "And you can keep my shit! It was all boosted anyway!" She looked to her bunch of letters gathered from her mailbox and noticed that some were from her parents. Three months of rent she totally didn't forget to cash-in at the bank along with letters telling her that they supported her dream to join the Wonderbolts. Pfft, she took care of herself. She didn't need no help.
Lightning glanced around at exactly where she ended up in life.
PFFT, THAT TOTALLY MEANT NOTHING. She just needed a little help, is all.
She noticed that one of her parents' letters had a different address from before. Did they move? She opened the letter and started to read it.
Dear Dusty,
Aw, damn. They still call her that.
Just wanted to let you know that we still support you, and hope that one of these days you'll write back with good news.
Ouch. A death threat would've hurt less.
We've also wanted to let you know that we've managed to come into a bit of money after your Great-Aunt Cloudy died.
Ha! Rest in pieces, you old hag.
So if you ever run into any financial troubles, you can contact us.
Well...
Also, you may have noticed that we've changed addresses. I'm sure you've heard all about the business with that crystal place popping up out of nowhere up North, right. Well, we're here, and the place is just gorgeous! You really should visit sometime!
You know what? She should! And she will!
Your Loving Parents,
Mom and Dad
Lightning dropped all of the letters and began to race off towards the North... before coming back to pick up the envelope with the new address and rushing off again.
The door to a house in the outer-suburban area of the Crystal Empire opened up to a couple of ponies followed by a middle-aged human. Spelunker walked inside carrying some equipment that Walter assumed was from his job and made a showy motion with his hoof to welcome Walt into the house. "This is our lovely home, and remember that you can stay for as long as you'd like. Someone in your position deserves a bit of hospitality, and we're prepared to give it to you."
Walt noticed that the doorway just barely cleared his head as he walked in before he tried to once again dissuade his new friends' notions. "Listen, I appreciate what you're doing here, but I'm perfectly capable of finding my own place to sleep. I'm sure I could have found a hotel or something." He closed the door behind him.
Spelunker chuckled and put down his equipment off to the side. "And pay with what? Those slips of pocket lint you kept in your wallet?" He gave Walt a look. "Hey, no offense, but your money's no good here, or anywhere even remotely close for that matter. Just sit tight and we'll take care of ya 'til you get back on your feet. I mean, even though you should be six feet under by now, heh." He then looked up in thought. "Does that make you a zombie?"
Sally stopped that train of thought before it had a chance to derail. "What my husband means is that you don't have anywhere to go to right now, so you might as well stay with us while you figure something out."
Walt put a hand to his head and tried to come up with a way to put down their sound logic. For some reason, he couldn't stand the thought of relying on another's help. "Well... What about those princesses you told me about? The ones down South?"
Spelunker scoffed. "Please! They've already got enough on their hooves with the complete eradication of that 'Crystal' stuff that's been going around. They probably don't have the time to deal with more magical weirdness going on."
Sally patted Walt on the arm. "Really, Walt. It's no trouble, we promise. You stay here as long as you need to, alright?"
Spelunker interrupted from the kitchen. "Alright! I don't know about you two, but I'm starving. How about I grill up some wheat dogs?" He poked his head into the living-room from the kitchen. "Walt, you're okay with fake meat, right?"
Walter's mind was still frozen on one word from earlier. "...'Crystal'? What's this... 'Crystal'?"
Spelunker was confused for a second before the thought was renewed. "Oh, that? Ah, it's just some stimulant substance... thing that's been going around. Trust me, you do not want any part of that. The things they say they do to ponies makes me wish I hadn't read the news last week. So, how about those wheat dogs?"
Walt sat down on the living-room couch and absentmindedly said, "Uh, yeah. Sure," then lost himself in his own thoughts.
Then his own thoughts seemed to turn on him. They were almost random and incomprehensible. Equations and information he didn't know just came to him, and he didn't know what to make of it. There were bits and pieces he started to put together, and as he did, he realized something:
Knowing what they meant felt really good.
He snapped out of his trance when a blue hoof was waved in front of his face. "Hellooooo, Earth to Walt? Wheat dogs are done." Spelunker followed what his eyes seemed to be staring at. "Sheesh, I know they say TV rots your brain, but you gotta turn it on first. Did you really just stare at a black screen for a whole hour?"
Walt shook his head and looked to the stallion. "An hour? Wait, TV?"
Indeed, in front of him was a Pony brand standard resolution television. Walt furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. How did they have television before cars?
Walt felt a plate placed on his lap and a pat on his shoulder. "Eat up, bud. You've gotta be starving by now too, huh?" He went to get a plate for himself.
Sally sat down with her own food. "He's right, Walt. You were unconscious for hours. You should probably get something in your system."
On the plate were surprisingly authentic looking hot dogs with the works. Walt picked one up and said, "Alright. Thanks, Hank."
The ponies paused, but Walt froze. Spelunker questioned, "Who's Hank?"
Walt sputtered and spat out, "Someone I... knew. From before I died."
Sally gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was he family? A friend?"
Walt quickly responded in the negative. "Oh, no, no. He was like a... character. Fictional. He was a fictional character. Spelunker just, kind of... reminds me of him. It's no big deal." He took a bite out of his dog. "Mmm! These are delicious! Thank you, Spelunker."
Both ponies looked to each other and shrugged.
Lightning Dust hesitated at her parents' new doorstep. The stuff around it seemed so... lame! There was a flag with sunflowers in a pot hanging to the left of the doorway, and the knocker on the door was a mouse hanging by its tail. She was also sure she spotted a garden gnome in the front-lawn on her way in! She was starting to regret coming in the first place. Why was she here again?
She looked down that the envelope she held. Right. Cash. Cash was very important to the economy nowadays. Her parents had some, so it would only be right to take what they offer and spend it to support said economy, which happened to, in turn, support herself. This was totally for a good cause.
She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and hesitantly raised her hoof to knock when the door opened itself. Standing behind it were two older and very surprised looking ponies. Both had bags packed and appeared to be leaving on a trip, but dropped both and opened their forelegs with an exclamation of "Dusty!"
Lightning Dust found herself being smothered by the ponies she felt obliged to love the most. "Yo, Mom and Dad. Look, I was just-"
She was cut off by her enthusiastic mom's voice. "Ooh, you must come in and see the new place!"
"And tell us how well you've been doing with the Wonderbolts!" her father added.
Lightning awkwardly chuckled as she was brought in. "Heh, yeeeaaaaah... It actually seemed like you were going somewhere, so-"
"Oh, our trip can wait for our little Dusty!" her mother interrupted as the door closed.
"Mooooom!"
"...And this is your room! Kept it just the way you left it!" her dad announced as she stepped in, and as she noticed, it wasn't much of an exaggeration. All of her old things, her posters, records, and bed, were set-up as they were when she left... back in Cloudsdale.
"Uh, wow. You kept everything the same. Even though, you know, you moved." She had a bit of a hard time realizing just how much her parents really missed her.
"Well, we just wanted to make sure you had a warm welcome if you ever decided to come home, honey," her mother said.
"Yeah, I get that, but..." She sighed. "Listen, you really looked like you were about to head off somewhere."
Her mom put a hoof on her shoulder. "Dusty, our trip can wait. You just got here! We'd love to here about your progress in becoming a-"
"I didn't get in, alright?!"
Her parents were shocked. "What?"
"I couldn't pass the stupid history test they had." Lightning snapped. "I also got kicked out of the apartment for... breaking policy. Also, I'm broke." She sighed. "What I mean to say is that I... was hoping to stay here for a while, and that if you'll have me, then I'll still be here when you get back. I could watch over the house while you're gone! Y'know, feed the cat and sh... stuff."
Both parents silently hugged her, and Lightning squashed that indignant feeling for their pity. Her father said softly. "Dusty, you can stay for as long as you'd like. If you truly feel like you need to be by yourself for awhile, then we'll leave on our trip. I guess we have been planning this trip to Las Pegasus for some time now, right, sweetie?" He turned to his wife.
Lightning's mother nodded hesitantly. "I suppose so. You've been gone for so long, but I guess we could wait a little longer."
Lightning shook her head. "Whoa, wait, I didn't mean it like that! I just-"
Her father raised a hoof to quiet her. "We understand perfectly, Dusty. Just relax and take a few days to yourself here while we do the same elsewhere. It's not a big deal." He gave her a small smile. "We do actually need this vacation as well, so enjoy the new house to yourself while you can." He turned to leave the room and said as he left, "Also, there is no cat to feed anymore."
"Aw, no, not Sparky! He was such a badass cat!"
Lightning stepped outside and wished her parents goodbye as they got in their taxi to leave. They had left her enough money for a few days on the counter, and there was leftover hay-casserole in the fridge. She guessed that she had to eat the casserole, because she definitely planned to use the money for something else. As the taxi left her sights, she pulled out a carton of Mareboros and picked one out. Putting it away, she realized she forgot to buy matches earlier and muttered a curse.
"Need a light?"
Lightning didn't quite jump at the voice, but she certainly did at the sight of the source. Tall, Bipedal, and Furless-with-Clothes was standing in the yard of the house next door. She immediately voiced her curiousness. "What the hell are you?"
"Species is human. Name's Walter White." He pulled out a matchbook. "Need a light?"
Lightning gave him a scrutinizing glance before shrugging. "Sure."
He struck a match and lit the cigarette as she puffed. She then pulled out another Mareboro and offered it to Walt. He pursed his own lips in thought before shrugging himself and taking the offer. He lit it himself and tried to pull on it.
Lightning noticed his struggle and lightly facehoofed. "Don't suck, inhale. Breathe it in naturally." He did so and started coughing violently. Lightning groaned. "Is that your first smoke, dude? I know you're a different species, but even those wrinkles tell me that you're like, what, 60?"
Walt looked back annoyed. "I'm 50." It probably, technically wasn't a lie.
Lightning turned away aloofly. "Whatever, dude."
Walt glanced at the house of the lawn she was in. "So what's a mare like you doing in a house like that."
She looked back to him heatedly. "And what's that supposed to mean, exactly?"
He just shrugged.
Lightning stared him down for a few silent seconds before saying, "I'm staying with my parents."
There was more silence besides the sounds of suburbia surrounding them before Walt asked, "What's your name?"
Without facing him, she said, "Why should I tell you?"
"Well, excuse me for thinking that it was common courtesy to tell someone their name after they've already given you theirs."
"...Lightning Dust."
Both wordlessly smoked their cigarettes until Lightning finished hers. She flicked the butt onto the sidewalk in front of her lawn and turned to head back into her house. "Later, bitch."
Walt's eyebrows rose slightly, and he watched her leave. He immediately dismissed the thought as her door shut, and dropped his own butt before squishing it out.
Darren honestly thought that the interview was going well for him so far. He made sure to go all out for this one too: clean-shaven, hair combed, new suit, the works. The interviewer seemed pleased with his answers so far, and as he looked through his resume and his reference letters, he had this look that telegraphed how much of an impression Darren left on him. He really hoped to get this one in the bag as well, for every other position he applied for rejected him for 'better qualifying' candidates. This was his last interview for a real job before he had to wait for another to open up, but he was actually much more confident about this company, as they had two waiting spots that he was sure any competent person could get, and he was very much hyper-competent.
However, doubt interrupted his high-flying confidence when a frown creased his interviewer's face. The older looking man looked to Darren, almost with a judging expression. "Listen, Mr. Whitaker, I want you to understand that there are many other qualified people currently applying for these two positions that we have open here today, so there is one important question that I feel I must ask you before we consider you to be one of the new members of our team." The man laced his fingers and leaned forward onto his desk. Staring dead into Darren's eyes, he asked, "What makes you think that you deserve this job more than them?"
Darren opened his mouth to answer, but a lump in his throat stopped him from speaking. He could have said anything to put himself in a better light than any of the dozen other applicants looking for a job same as himself. He could have said something, anything generic like, 'Because I'm sure that I could put more effort/be more loyal/give more heart for this company than any of your other applicants' with an extra little 'sir' to kiss him up a bit.
But instead, Darren decided to be courteous about his competition.
He stuttered a bit under the interviewer's harsh gaze and said, "I guess I don't know. You could choose any one of us. I'm not really anything special."
Even Darren knew, as it left his mouth, that it was the wrong answer.
But the interviewer made no show of disappointment, simply picking up the documents Darren left on his desk and nodding slightly. He slipped the documents into a drawer and said, "Well, Mr. Whitaker, it was a pleasure meeting you, and we'll be sure to let you know if we've accepted your application." He smiled an obligatory smile, one Darren could see was absolute cardboard, and shook his hand. "Have a nice day."
Darren reciprocated his smile. "You as well, sir." He turned around and opened the door to the room. To his surprise, someone had their hand on the door-handle to open. He noticed that the hand belonged to a very admittedly attractive young blonde.
She excused herself in and the interviewer welcomed her warmly with a grin that said something else about him. He said something to Darren about closing the door on the way out, but he beat him to the punch. He almost stumbled in the backlash wave of nervousness that hit him after he left and made his way to the building's main exit. However, as he reached the front door, he heard a single female voice speak from behind him.
"This is odd," said the voice.
Out of reflexive curiosity, he turned to the source of the voice and stopped when he saw a taller, darker-blue horse with a flowing mane, weird wings like that one pegasus, and a horn.
"Your appearance here doesn't match your description at all," she spoke again.
Walt's eyes opened slowly as he awoke from the strange dream, which was already fading to a memory of only having been there. He lied there in bed for a few moments to observe the pattern that the plaster in the ceiling had formed and noticed how oddly reminiscent it was of his own apartment bedroom before he was evicted. He then wondered why his mind lingered on such a thing in the first place and started a meta-logical thought process that was eventually interrupted by another coughing fit. He decided to then throw it out altogether in favor of getting up out of bed.
His first thought was of morning sustenance, but his second was of how that could wait until after his hygienic routine was complete. A quick brush of his teeth and a donning of his freshly-washed and only set of clothes left him feeling ready for the day.
'But ready for what?' he asked himself.
He supposed that the local authority figures of this world, or at least this nation, have been informed of the newly discovered species, to which he might have to prepare for a meeting about later on. He would also need to apply for citizenship if he was going to make any living at all, especially since he didn't want to be anymore of a burden to his lovely hosts than was necessary. He definitely wanted to live off of his own efforts and no one efforts. Hell, maybe if he earned enough, he'd payback his hosts by a thousand-fold and support them in any of their times of need.
And it would be completely out of gratitude. Completely.
But before any of that...
"Who wants eggs?" he called out to the master bedroom.
Sally came into the living room wearing a bathrobe and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Oh, Walt you don't need to-"
"But I want to." He found where they kept the pans and picked out a sizable one. "For some reason, I felt the urge to cook this morning, and it's the least I could do for the ones who are letting me take shelter in your wonderful home."
She looked at him with a little concern. "Are you sure?"
Walt looked back and smiled. "Yeah, of course. It's fine, I promise."
Sally returned the smile and pulled up a seat at the kitchen table. "Then I guess I'll take my eggs over-easy."
Walt turned back to the pan and poured in some vegetable oil. "Where's Spelunker?"
"Oh, he leaves for his work early. They spend most of the day searching those caves for anything different." She sighed and put a hoof under her cheek. "All of it looks the same if you ask me, and I don't understand what those university buffs see in studying them."
Walt opened the fridge and got four eggs. "I suppose it's how they're formed and what they're made of that interests them." He cracked the first two and poured them into the oil, taking a moment to hear them sizzle and cook. "The chemical compounds that react and compile slowly over time to crystallize into many different natural structures that looked as if they were always there, when truly it's a matter of the right circumstances at the right time to erode them..." He cracked the other two and did the same."...and build them back up into what we see them as now. It's a change that's always happening in them even though we don't see it, and by the time you do notice, it's already something completely different. It's like a stream eventually growing into a river." He looked through the spice cabinets next to the fridge. "Do you happen to have any garlic salt?"
He turned back to see Sally's eyebrows raised in questioning. "Now where did that come from?"
"Where did-" He paused. "I guess it just... came to me?"
She shrugged and said, "Third shelf. It has a green label. Oh, but not a lot on mine, please. I don't like it too salty."
Lightning Dust stood around one of the less busy parts of downtown as she waited for her contact. She paid an old friend in Cloudsdale a visit after she realized that moving meant her supply would be limited. He said he knew ponies around the Crystal Capital who could continue to supply her, but it had to be at higher rates. Of course, she took up the offer, but had to scrounge around for the extra bits, including taking the hundred bits her parents gave her for food to last the few days, which she honestly thought was even a bit much for that long. She eventually resorted to pawning off some of her old records when she thought it wouldn't be enough, and that maybe she could negotiate the supply to a lower price.
'It will be fine,' she told herself. 'I'm sure the price isn't even that much higher than they were.'
She was already starting to get the shakes, and even when trying to squash the urge to, she still kept rubbing her foreleg like there was an itch that she could never get at. She began to worry about whether the contact would even be there, even though she had only been waiting there for ten minutes. She searched up and down the street frantically with her eyes, every moment seeming like another hour.
Eventually, she heard someone ask her from her right, "How much?"
She nearly jumped, not realizing that the inconspicuous unicorn mare beside her had even walked up to her. She managed to process the previous question and stuttered out, "An ounce, please."
The mare chuckled. "Heh, first time I've ever heard an obvious user have manners. That'll be thirteen-hundred."
Lightning nearly shouted, but kept her voice low. "Thirteen?! Yo, the going-rate back in Cloudsdale was eleven!"
She let out a low whistle. "That's pretty fuckin' cheap if you ask me, but you're not getting that here. Thirteen or I walk."
Lightning sighed and recounted her bits. The currency only amounted up to twelve-hundred-fifty, and she cursed her luck. She sighed again and said, "Fine, just, uhh... Just four 8-balls."
The unicorn laughed, very amused, and slapped her on the back amicably. "Look at you, trying to be all 'economical' and what-not. Tell you what." She placed a few baggies of the supply into Lightning's own. "If you can sell that, I can let you keep an ounce for free. Or I could pay you if you prefer that. Whatever. We got a deal?"
Lightning opened the bag that the unicorn stuffed the stuff into and counted nine ounce-sized bags. She felt the temptation of their contents calling her to accept, and it wasn't like she couldn't use the extra cash anyhow. However, she knew that slinging would mean trying to keep up a quota and taking her time to clean out a good amount of her given inventory, and she wasn't even sure if she had a secure place to keep her stash hidden from her parents in their own ho-
"I'm in," she felt her mouth say.
The unicorn shook her hoof and said, "Great! Just be sure to have the dough back here next week." She started to walk back the way she came, but paused in mid-stride. "And I expect all of it here. Bits and unsold product if you got any. Otherwise..."
Lightning felt the tip of a blade touch her throat, held by a glowing magical grasp that was obviously the unicorn's. The mare looked back to her with a serious stare.
"You best hope we leave you on your family's front lawn as a wreck rather than a corpse."
Lightning gulped as she held the stare for a few prolonged seconds, then the blade released her. She saw the unicorn mare leave as if she was just continuing a morning stroll, not looking back even once. When the mare rounded the corner, Lightning let herself breathe again, and stumbled to the wall of the building beside her. She wasn't sure anymore if this was any better than pawning off all of her own stuff. She turned around and began walking home.
She really needed a hit.
Before Lightning knew it, it was already two in the morning, the next morning, and she used up the last of the crystal trying to chase a high she didn't know would never come back to her. She looked around to see a mess of refuse, broken glass, and food stains all over the couch and carpet, while the TV was still on playing a stupid infomercial that she knew no one else was watching. She groaned, knowing that the mess had to be cleaned before her parents got home, even though it was still a couple of days away, but she still didn't expect to have to do any cleaning anywa-
Wait a second.
Lightning jumped off the couch and dove for the bag that the crystal was in. She searched through the bag urgently, looking for what she hoped against hope was still in there. She then turned the bag on its end, dumping out its contents in a more desperate attempt to hope that it was still in there.
But even she knew there was nothing left. She wasted it all in one session, and most of it wasn't even hers. She had no idea of what she was going to do to pay them back, nor of what they were gonna do to her if she didn't.
And what if it wouldn't just be her? What if they went after her parents? They didn't deserve this! Why did she even decide to take the deal? Why did she even come to her parents in the first place? Why didn't she remember to use her money for her bills than just more crystal?!
Those questions ended one level deeper, but Lightning wasn't ready to question herself on that.
She would get through this. She always found a way out. Through everything that she had been through, she knew there was always a better solution, one that would end with everyone happy. She was sure she would find it, because that was just how things worked. How everything worked.
She grasped at her head as she laid there on the floor, tears already threatening to break through.
"...and in other news, it appears that neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna will be arriving to greet the latest discovery of sapient species due to complications involving the Crackdown on Crystal that began last month. Instead, Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor are taking their place as Equestrian ambassadors to welcome this 'human' into society. Sources claim that the human is currently residing in the home of a hospitable young couple in the outer suburban area of the capital. It's said that the meeting between the human and the Crystal Royalty will take place in the Crystal Palace privately before moving on to a public press conference outside afterwards. The issues to be discussed during the meeting are currently undisclosed, but we can speculate that the human's supposedly spontaneous appearance may be discussed as well as the concern of incentive and citizenship. Updates as this story progresses.
"Back on the topic of the crackdown, a seven-hundred-thousand bit operation was seized yesterday by royal guards right in the heart of Canterlot's Elite district yesterday. Officials say that several neighboring residents complained about 'shady individuals' lurking around their street before stopping at the suspected house and leaving with several saddlebags that they didn't have beforehoof. Witnesses thought that ponies were robbing the place and reported the crime to the nearest guard station. Needless to say, guards investigated and found a lab with significant traits of being used to produce crystal. Guards arrested the subject, who happened to be none other than Prince Blueblood-"
Walt straightened the tie that he was given. Both of his hosts agreed that the clothes he appeared in wouldn't do for a meeting with royalty, so they met the local seamstress earlier in the week. She was glad to help, provided they advertise it, at least to the princess. He thought it would seem inappropriate to announce his personal designer in a conference about his introduction to society.
Sally had just shut off the television, to which Walt felt slight disappointment. He was enthralled with the idea that these ponies had a much more mature and corrupt side to their society than he had thought. It may have seemed prejudiced to assume that they were all so innocent and naive, but considering the vibrant colors of just their entire cities and... well, their appearance, he thought the assumption was granted. Hell, most of them in this city looked like sparkly kiddie toys!
He sighed. That was probably racist, and knowing what he's seen on their programming, might just be a slur.
Spelunker and Sally were dressed up as well, ready to meet royalty alongside Walt to give moral support. Spelunker was busy straightening his own tie, while Sally put down the remote and said something to encourage Spelunker to hurry along. Spelunker muttered something cliched under his breath about ties and nooses. Walter didn't give much thought to these remarks other than acknowledging their existence, as his mind was currently tied up with scrutinizing the society that these ponies had built up around themselves.
Such a thriving community seemed like something that humans could have created in the right circumstances, barring the elements that involved magic to defy physics. It was probably a safe assumption that many sapient species generally build up their societies with adaptability to their surroundings in mind.
These ponies had magic and wings. If they put their minds to it, they could accomplish many things, much like humans. They already have natural enhancements that put them above the physical limit of humans. These ponies were so human-like, and so much better...
But there was just something that they lacked.
It was what was driving Walt to follow such a seemingly random chain of thoughts. There was just something off about these ponies that he found made them seem lesser to his own species, not that he'd admit it to any of them out of politeness. It was rare for Walt to have such judging thoughts, but studying these ponies was all he could do for the time he had here. They were a fascinating species, filled to the brim with an alien culture of interesting and unexplored concepts for a human mind.
And yet the same thought came to mind that something separated them from being human altogether, apart from the obvious.
These ponies took him in when he needed help, but were they really so trusting? Instead of biding his time in a cell awaiting interrogation, or at least in government-provided shelter, they allowed the couple who found him to have him stay in their house? They almost coddled him, an unknown creature who, to their knowledge, could only be there to gather information for an upcoming invasion! Regardless of the Crystal situation, these ponies were still too naive. Too trusting.
Too giving.
Did he deserve it? To be treated such a way, to even end up in a paradise such as this? He had only done all that was necessary, and that's what needed to be done. Everything he did was as expected from him, and it had never been good enough.
...Maybe that was the problem, wasn't it? He was never the better. Not quite bad, but never good enough. He was always the one left behind. No one really expected that much from him. In the end, everyone's high expectations left him scraping for the bottom of the barrel, and it still wasn't enough for him to survive.
And then here he was: a miraculous result of death in a paradise land of cute and innocent creatures. Death wasn't a damn stroll through the park either. They say men put under enough pressure turn out hardened. If that was true, then he might as well be a fucking diamond. Damn right, he deserved this.
Walt felt a pressure rising from his chest, and quickly tried to stifle it with his hand to his mouth. They were coming in much more painfully now, and with this one, Walt was reminded that his paradise probably wouldn't even remain for as long as he'd like. Results of his physical scan at the hospital hadn't actually come in yet, but he knew this body. He knew exactly who this body belonged to, and what that person did in it.
And over the past several days, Walt discovered the tools with which the body had used to do such horrible things. Throughout the week, Walt felt a strange feeling of accomplishment and completeness every time his mind put together a new compound. Formula after method after fact, Walt found himself understanding things he never had explained to him. From the air he breathed, to the water he drank, to the spices in the cabinet, to the cleaning products under the sink, and everything in his reach, he felt like he knew what they were, and what they could become.
At one point earlier in the week, he tested his knowledge with a few backyard garden and household objects he found lying around. He found it astounding at how simple it was for him to make charcoal and to extract sulfur and saltpeter from manure. After a bit of crafting with a few bits of plastic and string, and a careful mixing of ingredients, he found himself giggling like a child at the small pops and bangs his experiment made.
He made black powder, and it was something so stupidly simple to put together. Anyone with access to the internet could take the time to learn how, but the fact was that he didn't know that until the day prior, and that's what made the difference.
The body he had been given came with a gift, one he knew needed to be used, but in what way could he use it?
Oddly enough, he hadn't put as much thought into the reasoning of his body as he probably should have. It was understandable that between the character and himself, their pasts were variably similar, but he would never choose such a path that would lead him down a similar future.
Walt tightened his grip on the couch arm and his face steeled. They wouldn't be similar in what their actions mean, but Walter decided that they would be similar in what their actions accomplish. Walt's character had unknowingly succeeded in bringing down the entire Southern drug trade and nipped the European trade in the bud, but while Walt's character's actions included some criminal and incredibly risky wagers, the knowledge that Walt had of his own world, even that of what any human knows, could still greatly support these ponies to become stronger in their societal structure. With what he knew now, he could skyrocket the progress these ponies had going into something resembling the post-modern state of humanity.
These ponies were so pure, and maybe to a fault. He would be the one to improve upon that.
It seemed that the others were ready to go. Walt stood and followed them out the front door.
Walt knew that he was going to represent his race, accomplishments, atrocities, and progress alike. This time however, he resolved to be more than enough for these ponies. This time, he would be more than enough for even himself. This time, he'll work to become one of the greats.
This time, he'll do what it takes to be seen as someone better.
Princess Cadance, as she prefered to be called, since 'Empress' had a connotation of ruthlessness, was preparing herself as well for her meeting with the recently discovered, self-proclaimed alien. His arrival story was passed along to her shortly after he released it, and knowing how he arrived, getting in contact with his world may be impossible. It still didn't detract the fact that even common knowledge from his culture could provide to be a great opportunity for improvement within theirs. This meeting had to go perfect if it meant good PR and the well-being of this new denizen.
Shining Armor was with her, surprisingly calm in the face of the upcoming event. Normally, this situation would have been reversed, and to make it weirder, those situations usually involved combating an unknown threat. One would think that the Guard Captain and the politician would be most calm in their respective situations, but the truth is what some may call romantic, in that both trusted each other to do their jobs better than they would their own. Shining had taken to reminding Cadence of her breathing technique whenever she started to hyperventilate.
He had also noticed how Cadence and his sister shared certain traits whenever stress took hold of them. He first thought that maybe Twilight had rubbed off on her during her years as a foal-sitter. After awhile, he realized that it was the other way around.
Princess Cadence constantly muttered to herself as she was literally pacing a groove into the floor. Shining enjoyed these moments, as they were adorably amusing to witness, and he could never keep the grin off his face throughout. Not that he needed to, since Cadence was always too busy with her own thoughts to notice. He already knew that everything was completely in order, and neither of them were going to forget the rehearsed greeting and questions they set up for both the meeting and the conference later on. He still figured either way that his wife get it out of her system now and let the stress not be a problem later.
"Oh, what if he takes offense to even some of our most simplest questions? He'd never want to cooperate with us after that! Do we have enough lemon water? What if there isn't enough? He could get thirsty during the questions and feel too uncomfortable to answer!" Cadence gasped with her hooves to her cheeks. "What if he's allergic to lemons?! We need to replace some of the refreshments immediately!"
She had already been through this part of her rant twice, and Shining had already ordered a wide assortment of flavored waters, as well as original spring, purified, and even tap water from the kitchen, each enough for a dehydrated dragon.
There was also a gourmet smorgasbord buffet just for the guest, a griffin masseuse flown in straight from Las Pegasus, and an assorted gift basket of fancy little soaps, shampoo bottles, and a bathrobe with slippers. The more they prepared, the less it seemed like a relations meeting, and more like a five-star resort.
It was only a matter of time before the Princess would ponder on if it was all too much.
Thankfully, a guard interrupted her mumblings before it could get so far. "Your Majesty, Your Highness, the guest has arrived."
Cadence reacted in shock, her eyes widening considerably. "What?! Already?! But we- There's still- I mean-!"
"Honey!" Shining shouted. "Breathing technique!"
Cadence immediately put a foreleg to her chest and pushed it out slowly along with her breath and her stress. She sighed and collapsed to her haunches. "I don't know if I can do this. If I screw up, it would mean closing the biggest opportunity that ponykind has ever had! We have no idea what his cultural standards are, or how advanced his civilization is! If we do offend him-"
"Then I'm sure he would understand," Shining interrupted. "He may be just as nervous about offending us as you are about offending him. Any smart pony would." He walked over and put a comforting foreleg around her shoulders. "Cadence, you're the Princess. He might even be more worried since you're royalty." He turned to face her from the front, sitting on his haunches with her, using both hooves to hold her shoulders and looking her in the eyes with an encouraging smile. "Everything will go as planned. Smooth sailing. If you don't trust yourself, then at least trust me when I say that I trust you."
Cadence searched his face for any sign of doubt, even though she knew his words were as sincere as they could be. She still sighed with relief at the reassurance, and leaned closer to give a loving peck. "Thank you, Shining. That means the world to me." She stood up with him and smiled. "And you're absolutely right. We've been preparing this event for days. Everything is perfect, and we'll be ready to run this as planned." She turned to the guard still standing at the doorway, feeling a little awkward for having witnessed such a tender moment. "Everything is ready, right?"
The guard snapped to attention, having finished examining the interesting wall. "Yes, Your Majesty. We're ready to begin the introductions at your say."
Cadence brought her hoof to her chest and out once more with finality. She nodded to Shining with a smile that portrayed newly-found confidence as he nodded back. She looked to the guard. "Bring him in, please."
