to the people asking if caramel and big mac are related, thats unknown its never said in the show other then "he lost some seeds" which could mean hes just help for winter wrap up, and that event had everyone involved so that doesnt say either here or there.
most people who like this ship dont beleive they are related, the people who like that normally go for braeburn and big mac (not my thing personally) but some stories have had them be far off relations but not in a caramac ship. hope this explains it a bit better.
I'm liking this story so far, and though i personally have no issue with this (even think it's kind of cute) I can't help but notice how a majority of the shipfics (at least in my perception) involve mostly homosexual interactions. This pair is actually pretty cute, and I'm not sure if this was what you were going for but I like how it ties into how Mac "hurt himself" right before the applebuck season episode, and I like the way how Caramel is portrayed (even though this was the most timid interpretation I've yet to see). Everything seems to flow pretty well with itself so I have to say i'm sufficiently charmed at the over-arching storyline. Unfortunately i do have to take out my red pen at a few points, i won't point them all out in this comment (no offense but there are quite a few very small screwups) but the ones that annoyed me the greatest were as follows: "If he was a coltcuddler, a term he had picked up from his Aunt and Uncle Orange who had visited a few years ago from Manehatten, then how would his family react." "… if he did love Macintosh how would the family take it, or worse how would Macintosh take it." these sentences should be followed by question marks "But he loves him." This is the only instance of this problem (that I saw anyway), but here lies an unprompted and incorrect transition from past tense to present. and finally "Macintosh laid there, unable to move his eyes heavy." This sentence here has a misplaced comma that I'm sure most folks would just read right over, but it put the pause in my little mental daemon in the wrong spot, so reading it in my head drove me insane! All in all just a bunch of tiny grammatical issues that popped up, and frankly ones that any of the most talented writers in the universe could easily make, they don't really detract from the story as a whole (i love it so far!) but it's always a good thing to just give your story a once-over and read it out loud to yourself to see if you notice any silly sounding sentences or words. Sometimes you won't notice them while you're writing because you know what you're thinking and writing about. the readers don't however so it helps put you in our shoes to read it to yourself and find silly mistakes like that. Either way i look forward to the next chapter, tracking! end rant
19142 For this purpose of this story? Dammit, i don't know where this concept came from, but it really bugs me for some reason. They aren't effin related, i'm sorry. Tho imma prolly still read your story, since I still love mac and caramel together.
"under his own wait"
"under his own weight"
otherwise interesting
tracking
19055 I knew that would happen >.< goddamn my hands
....Aren't Caramel and Big Macintosh related?
19084
Part of the Apple family aren't they?
Hmm.. so this is a Yaoi Incest Ship fic, who would have guessed?
That's so gay you can suck my nuts
19113 But wouldn't him sucking your nuts also be gay? Just don't read it if you don't want to, like me. Don't have to insult the author
This story is quite interesting, though not my usually shipping. I'm certainly willing to give it a try since it envolves on of my favorite ponies.
to the people asking if caramel and big mac are related, thats unknown its never said in the show other then "he lost some seeds" which could mean hes just help for winter wrap up, and that event had everyone involved so that doesnt say either here or there.
most people who like this ship dont beleive they are related, the people who like that normally go for braeburn and big mac (not my thing personally) but some stories have had them be far off relations but not in a caramac ship. hope this explains it a bit better.
however after reading this for a little while, this fic does have them related from the look of it, wow put a hoof in my mouth before i read the fic
19141 for the purposes of this story they are related though distantly
I'm liking this story so far, and though i personally have no issue with this (even think it's kind of cute) I can't help but notice how a majority of the shipfics (at least in my perception) involve mostly homosexual interactions. This pair is actually pretty cute, and I'm not sure if this was what you were going for but I like how it ties into how Mac "hurt himself" right before the applebuck season episode, and I like the way how Caramel is portrayed (even though this was the most timid interpretation I've yet to see). Everything seems to flow pretty well with itself so I have to say i'm sufficiently charmed at the over-arching storyline.
Unfortunately i do have to take out my red pen at a few points, i won't point them all out in this comment (no offense but there are quite a few very small screwups) but the ones that annoyed me the greatest were as follows:
"If he was a coltcuddler, a term he had picked up from his Aunt and Uncle Orange who had visited a few years ago from Manehatten, then how would his family react."
"… if he did love Macintosh how would the family take it, or worse how would Macintosh take it."
these sentences should be followed by question marks
"But he loves him."
This is the only instance of this problem (that I saw anyway), but here lies an unprompted and incorrect transition from past tense to present.
and finally "Macintosh laid there, unable to move his eyes heavy."
This sentence here has a misplaced comma that I'm sure most folks would just read right over, but it put the pause in my little mental daemon in the wrong spot, so reading it in my head drove me insane!
All in all just a bunch of tiny grammatical issues that popped up, and frankly ones that any of the most talented writers in the universe could easily make, they don't really detract from the story as a whole (i love it so far!) but it's always a good thing to just give your story a once-over and read it out loud to yourself to see if you notice any silly sounding sentences or words. Sometimes you won't notice them while you're writing because you know what you're thinking and writing about. the readers don't however so it helps put you in our shoes to read it to yourself and find silly mistakes like that. Either way i look forward to the next chapter, tracking!
end rant
19142
19142
For this purpose of this story? Dammit, i don't know where this concept came from, but it really bugs me for some reason. They aren't effin related, i'm sorry. Tho imma prolly still read your story, since I still love mac and caramel together.
So far i like this story a lot, its very interesting.
Large read ear flopped attentively; Caramel would be joining him soon.
red
i like this flick
Meh this is crap. Obviously you've never heard of having an editor.
It was a single moment of divine gifted clarity.
I dont realt like the fact that mel and mac are related but u seem to make do of it well.
I need to know.... IS THIS A GOOSEBUMP-GIVER OR WHAT?!