The Joke, the End, the Hand to lend. (revised)
If someone would be looking at the scene of drama of this very moment, he or she would find it similar to the painting"The dying Dandy" by Nils von Dardel.
On the ground lies Rainbow Dash with some small drops of blood on her lips, but she has no bullet wound in the back of her head, as one would assume. It is uncommon, but not strange, that the bullet would become stuck in her brain. And with only a small amount of blood, the pale and beautiful woman, a blue sky, the green grass...
It makes the scene almost peaceful.
Applejack kneeled on the ground, with Rainbow's head resting on her knees. She used her left arm to comfort her girlfriend and stroked the rainbow-colored hair with her right hand. She's crying, but why wouldn't she be? The reasons are plenty, and one of them could be that she has lost another. First her parents died, and now Rainbow. And she could do nothing to prevent it from happening.
Yes, that is a very blunt and cold thought.
But, at this moment, there are no reasons. There is no guilt, either- and nor is there any shame. That will come later. For now, there is only the question- the big "why?" that consumes all the other feelings and questions. And tears. Lots of tears.
Next to Applejack, also on his knees, was trying to support his sobbing sister- Big Mac. No words, as usual. That's not necessary. Just sitting there will be enough for now. He has never been a man of words, and confronted with tragedy, he prefers silence. What is there really to say?
Fluttershy is standing some yards behind them, but she is also crying. The ring on her left hand corresponds to the one on Big Mac's. As usual, she thinks that she's doing something wrong. She feels that, being engaged to Big Mac, she should be there next to him. But she also feels bad, becasue she must be comforting for her friends as well. But Big Mac might have to wait for care. He is busy holding his sister steady, and he will need her to be strong later. So why isn't she there for A.J. right now? Would two people comfort better than one?
All these emotions are confusing, and leave Fluttershy's mind blank. Instead, her instincts as an animal caretaker kicks in. And so, she's doing what's most important from that point of view. She's holding Winona.
The dog doesn't understand. Why is everybody so upset? She was a good dog, wasn't she? She found Rainbow Dash. Rainbow, which (to Winona) means playing! So, then- why is she lying stretched out on the ground? She wants to jump onto Rainbow and lick her face, showing her how much she loves her. But this other human was holding her back. She would've barked with dissatifaction, hadn't this human given her a stare. So she stays quiet as well.
Right behind Fluttershy is Applebloom and Scootaloo. Applebloom had seen death before- working on a farm does that to you sometimes. Not that it makes this situation any easier, so she's crying just as much as AJ. For her, there's no why. Not yet. There is just this enormous feeling of "NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!".
Scootaloo, on the other hand, doesn't cry. This is her first real meeting with death. Sure, she has read her fair amount of superhero comics. She knows the concept of death, and she has seen Pulp fiction- She had stolen it from Rainbow and watched it at a sleepover with Sweetie Belle. But blood and dead bodies aren't really as fun in real life like they are on TV or in the comics. It was painfully real.
But still, in her first meeting with death, she doesn't cry. It's not that she's cold or in denial or anything. No, the thing is...she's confused. She can't understand this- because she alone knows something the others doesn't. It's one thing that makes the whole scene impossible. She knows what must be done, she knows what she has to say. But she is a kid, and she hates when people yell at her. She doesn't want to be punished. She knows it will hurt, and therefore, she hesitates.
She looks at her caretakers, the living and the dead one. There is no time but now. She must speak up and tell the truth, but... the words are stuck in her throat. And when she finally speaks...
"A.J. ...ehm...what's happened with Rainbow?" she says.
That is not a good start at all, and Applejack doesn't look at her. Big Mac is turning his head though, he looks annoyed. His eyes are saying "Don't ya know when to shut up?". And Scootaloo is still releuctant to tell everything. So she takes it in small bits.
"A.J. ...she has shot herself...has she?" Scootallo stammers.
Now Applejack answers. The crying has ceased, but that she's simply sad is an enormous understatement. Her voice is filled with all the sadness and sorrow that Equestria can produce in a year.
"Yes, pumpkin...she has." the blonde says.
Okay, that was that... Now...what to say next.
"How?" she finally asks.
"How? ...Whaddaya mean, 'How'?"
Yes, what does she really mean by that... How... Well, what else could she mean? How could Rainbow shoot herself when she... Scootaloo don't want to say it loud. But she can not back out of this, not now, not later.
...
Ok, I'll just show it, then. Scootaloo is turning red, but she produces the object from her school bag and holds it up for AJ to see.
"How could she...do that...when...I have..." the child stammers.
Applejack can't really understand at first. Then she stares at the object in Scootaloos hand. They all do, eventually. Except for Rainbow.
__
Raaaaainbow daaaaash....
Raaaaainbow daaaaash....
What?
Raaaaainbow daaaaash....
Sigh... Yeah?
Welcome to your afterlife.
So...this is the afterlife? It kind of looks like where I was before.
It's just your brain messing with you. There will be an infinite feature plane any minute now.
Oh, and Bob is here, too. So, are you ready to face your crimes?
Crimes? What crimes?
We can call them sins, to use a term you humans are more familiar with.
I'm no sinner! ...not a very big one, at least.
Oh, but you are! You are indeed! Not only have you had the audacity to take your own life, you also betrayed your friends... multiple times.
How do you mean?
SILENCE! YOU DARE QUESTIONING YOUR JUDGEMENT?
Well, considering who I just met so...yeah!
YOU LITTLE MAGGOT! YOU DARE SPEAK UP IN THE FACE OF FATE? PERHAPS YOU NEED A LESSON?
Put me down! Put me...OOOOW!!! That hurt!
THAT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT YOU WILL SUFFER UNDER YOUR ETERNAL PUNISHMENT!
Are you at all going to tell me what I have done?
I TOLD YOU. WE TAKE SUICIDE VERY SERIOUS.
Yeah...besides that?
SHALL WE TAKE A LOOK AT THE LIST? IT'S SHAMEFULLY LONG. LET US TAKE IT LETTER BY LETTER. ONE, PRIDE. YOUR PRIDE TAKES SENSATIONAL HIGHTS, BRAGGING ALL OVER EQUESTRIA. NOT ONLY DO YOU DARE CALLING YOURSELF THE GREATEST ATHLETE IN EQUESTRIA, YOU DARE TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE GREAT PRINCESS CELESTIA?
I didn’t know that was a sin...
TWO! GLUTTONY! YOU CONSUME CIDER AND OTHER ITEMS OF JUNK FOOD LIKE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOMORROW OR CARING ABOUT YOUR ENVIRONMENT! IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU TO THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE FUTURE GENERATIONS? ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR YOUR CONSUMPTION BY NOT EATING ANYTHING OR NOT HAVING A GREEN PLANET?
But... but... I only drink Sweet Apple Acres cider...
SO YOU THINK LOCAL PRODUCED AND ECOLOGIC WILL SAVE YOU?
Well...I think it should. Does it?
...Eh...
THREE! SLOTH. YOUR SLOTH TAKES THE WORD SIN TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. THE CRIMES COMMITED BY YOUR LUST IS A COMPLETE DEPARTMENT. YOU ONLY HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURCE BECAUSE IT'S ...FUN... YOU HAVE TOUCHED YOURSELF A MULTIPLE OF TIMES...EVERY DAY...AND YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN IS HIGHLY CONSIDERED IMMORAL?
But...but...I...love her... Love is no sin, is it?
PICK A GUESS ON THE ANSWER ON THAT ONE. BUT NO IT ISN'T AIN'T A GOOD ONE.
FOUR! GREED! YOU JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH, CAN YOU? MONEY, FOOD, CLOTHES...
Now what a minute here! I do not want to own clothes! I hate buying clothes!
YEAH, BUT YOU LIKE TO WEAR THEM, DON'T YOU?
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THAT?
...WELL, THE PEOPLE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN WERE NAKED, WEREN'T THEY? AND THEN THERE WAS APPLES. AND YOU LIVE ON AN APPLE FARM.
You cannot seriously charge me for THAT!
YOU WANT MORE? FINE! YOU ALSO STOOD YOUR FRIEND UP BY NOT COMING TO HER TEAPARTY! THAT’S JUST PLAIN RUDE AND...I MEAN, FIVE! ENVY! YOU ARE ENVIOUS THAT YOUR FRIEND FLUTTERSHY IS A BETTER FRIEND WITH DISCORD THAN SHE IS WITH YOU! AND SO YOU WANT TO PUNISH HER BY STANDING HER UP! THAT IS THE MOST UNFORGIVABLE OF CRIMES! NOW...
Now wait a minute here! I am not jealous of her being friend with Discord! And I know she will always be my friend, that is not an issue! But I think she is really straight-up stupid to hang out with that back-stabbing troublesome jerk, but that is really her problem!
NOW YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU DON'T CALL M... I MEAN, SHAME ON YOU! YOU SHALL NOT CALL AN ANCIENT AND HIGH-SPIRITED GOD OF CHAOS THOSE THINGS! WHICH BRINGS US TO SIX!
...Oh no... Oh no no no... Shut UP!
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT? HOW D...
I am done with this! Discord, it's you, isn’t it?
NO! NO! NOT AT ALL!
IT IS YOU! Your hiding in the bush, aren't you?
I AM THE VOICE OF YOURE JUDGEMENT! YOU MUST OBEY ME! DON'T LOOK IN THE BUSH! DON'T...
Hi Discord.
Hmpf. Hello, Rainbow Dash.
...Please don't tell me that you are a part of the afterlife after all.
Sigh...ok, I'm not. You're not dead, ok. I just wanted a little more fun.
You are such an asstard, you know that, don't you? I can't understand how Fluttershy put's up with you, you fucking jerk and... you call this fun? And... And wait a second here! What are you saying, I'm not dead? I shot myself in the mouth! I heard the band, I felt the pain! I must be dead!
No...If you were dead I couldn't take you away, could I? I am a god of chaos, but I have limits. No dead people. They stink.
Not dead...But...how?
Take a look over there. If you look at your friends. What are they doing?
They're...grieving.
...You may need to look closer at each and every one.
Ok...Big Mac is giving me CPR...Fluttershy is crying, Applebloom is crying, AJ is...shouting at Scootaloo? Scootaloo...is holding THE SHOTGUN? SHE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD AND SHE TOOK THE SHOTGUN? WHATS WRONG WITH THAT KID?
Well, if she holds the shotgun, what are YOU holding then?
Duuh, what do you think, I'm holding the Shot...No...Oh...
Damn.
What is it?
It’s...a starting pistol. It's mine...
Mhmm... Now, you can't start someone to death, can you? You got to be really dodgy on the heart for that... BOOM! ...Not dead? Nope!
You knew this the whole time?
...maybe...
AND YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL THIS?
I told you, it was hilarious!
BRING ME BACK!
Oh, come on...it was fun, wasn't it?
NO!
A bit?
NO!!!!
Ehrm...please let go of me! I...Ouch! Ouch! Oowww... stop it! Stop it! Ok ok! ...ok, i bring you back. Stop hitting me!
And I don't want to see your stupid face for a month, IS THAT CLEAR!
...alright...I guess you’re not coming for tea on Thursday then?
FUCK OFF.
Oh... And tell Fluttershy I'm sorry I stood her up, but she is still dumb trying to hang out with you.
__
A week had passed since "the event". No one wanted to call it a suicide attempt, because hadn't coincidences been, Rainbow had been pushing up the daisies now. Hence, "the event".
First, they had taken Rainbow to the hospital, just to check her up. Then, Applejack had been shouting at her, crying, clinging to her, and kissed the breath out of her for a whole week. Scootaloo had cried, and pretty much never left her side either. But Rainbow and AJ hadn't actually talked. Until now.
It was a very pleasant evening. They was sitting in the grass in the very same glade "the event" had taken place in. Applejack had brought 10 bottles of cider. This was going to be a looong talk.
And it was. Rainbow told everything. About her fears of dying, loneliness, how hard it was trying to be an adult and a kid at the same time, and other stuff. Ok, there was one little piece of information she withheld. The involvement of Discord, was given to Applejack from Fluttershy. She had given him both the stare and some harsh words.
"But I don't think he really meant he wouldn't do it again...and I think he mostly apologized because I was mad at him..." Fluttershy had told AJ earlier.
During Rainbows monologue, AJ had been silent, sipping her bottles. Her face had darkened, though, and Rainbow got more and more nervous. But she couldn't stop now, she had to finish.
"And finally...I took the gun. I...I first took the gun, then...I..uh..I... drank the Whiskey. And then...then...I just felt like it was all my fault, and...there was nothing else I could do."
Applejack finished of her cider. Then she burped.
"Now, Sugarcube...mm...that was probably the most darn selfish thing Ah heard in years!"
Rainbow turned her eyes away from her girlfriend.
"Ah mean...It's not like yer alone in this world, ah mean...were yer at any time thinkin' 'hey! Ah might TELL mah girlfriend Ahm feeling bad, so she doesn't have to figure it out for herself?' ...No, everything was about yer, yer, yer...Scoots and myself then? Uh? Yeah, yer heart wasn't in it! Ah took notice, but for freak's sake, Ah still am happier that yer were THERE, than..."
"You...you are right. I was just being... stupid. Being...Dash. I don't deserve y..."
"Not that kind of talk here, Sugarcube!"
Applejack moved herself closer and gave her girlfriend a kiss on her mouth and a slap on her cheek.
"Perhaps yer don't deserve me, and... Ah don't think ah deserve to have yer as a girlfriend either. Ah don't deserve someone who drives me nuts, who is the most selfish person ah ever known. Who just thinks one step ahead and never, NEVER thinks about consequences!
.... But it's not about having what yer deserve. Yer see, Sugarcube..."
AJ burped again.
"Yer see here, Pilgrim... Ah fell head over heels for yer. No one can make me smile the way yer can. No one can show me exactly how much fun it can be to be alive sometimes. Ah want yer. Ah want yer as part of mah life. Ah want yer to stay with me 'til ahm old and grey."
Applejack paused, noticing the small shivering on Rainbow.
”Ah know it's scary, Pilgrim. But it's the ride of a lifetime. If yer go being all afraid...how the hay are yer going to enjoy yerself?"
"I don't think I ever going to stop being afraid."
"Perhaps not. But yer will see one thing at a time. It will get better. It will still be fun! If yer only think about the end, how will yer enjoy the things? It will be worth it in the end, trust me. And if yer don't think that, Ah will beat yer with mah walking cane."
"Walking cane? Why would you need that?"
"Well, Ah don't really know... Ah stole the words from Granny. She told me this some four-five years ago, when Ah was depressed."
"You've been depressed?"
"Well...perhaps only sad...but it still made her tell me that."
Rainbow sat silent for a while.
"You know what... I'm the luckiest person in the world to have you as a girlfriend. I love you, AJ."
"I love you to, Dashie."
"You know, Scoots came up to me before. I think it's the fifth time she asked me if I'm not mad at her. I can't believe that kid, it's because of her I did not...do...that... and SHE want's ME to forgive HER! I'm the one who tried to... but she's not angry at me for it..."
They both went silent. Applejack seemed to choose her words carefully.
"Well, she is, sorta'... But yer see, even though yer being her caretaker, and the one who makes he go to bed, yer still her biggest Idol. Ah don't think she can bring herself to really hate yer... not yet at least. So, she turns her anger to herself. "
"Man...I really need to have a talk with her. I know I should, but...I guess I should be angry of her, but I can't really."
"Don't yer worry 'bout that. Ah told her off quite a bit. That kid's got yer genes, cause she just plain trouble. Bring a friggin' SHOTGUN to school? Because APPLEBLOOM was going to teach her to shoot? Damn...those kids... No, yer need all the support yer can get, yer can go and play the 'good parent'. Yer need that more than Ah."
"...I... I..."
"Yer know what, sugarcube. Ah think it's been enough talking for tonight. Come sit with me here. Ah don't reckon this will be off yer mind in one night only. But yer know what...we got all the time we need. For now, let’s just enjoy a really great summers eve, ok?"
Rainbow Dash nodded. There was no need to say anything. So what if tomorrow was as black as yesterday? This evening was good. And for now, that was all that matter. And that was ok.
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It would be nice if you changed the story to complete as it is complete.
Awesome.
4420795 : Yeah, sorry about that...I forgot to press "Save"...
4420805 : Spank you!
This is so beautiful in how moving this is. The first part was my favorite but I really enjoyed the story as a whole and thought it was very emotional. Also, the lyrics to "The Blues" were really amazing too. Thank you for the great read!! :)
While this WAS well written, and I'm glad it ended happily, I can't bring myself to fave it.
Even though this is sad and moving, I lost it when I heard why scootshad the shotgun